Sunday, July 30, 2023

The Ninja Dragon Review

 Note: I spoell as normally as Go NaGAI MAKES MANGA

The Ninja Dragon

tHIS IS MY REVIEW OIN The Ninja Dragon from the distant future year to The Right Honorable Shiro Ishii of 1990 (30 years beforde Transformers Super god Master force)

Its directed by Gio Nagai whio's my fave author and the most cereeative muther f--kewr around

it stars a buncha japanese actors from the 80s Ore Samma nevere heard of, but was dubbed by the cast of Yugioh/Pokemon/Voltage Fighter Gowcaizer/Stepmother Sin/La Blue Girl/Temptation/Maison Plasir

ooh, it has Ringside Angel Cutie Suzuki from that sega game and japanese wrestl;ing and cameos of Ken Ishikawa who was Go Nsagai's best friend and did similar f'd up sexy vioplent cr-p that was awesome

I never saw this but it also goes by Kuso Kagaku Ninkyoden: Gokudo Ninja Dosuryu

it starts with a guy comiung into a room and beating another guy then punching jnto him and teariing out his guys w/o any expolaination

to be fair, thats how many manga start, shows action too draw you in and explains later

then a chick stands in front of a car and when the guys come oiut after stopping she caps em

then title over a yakuza back tattoo

thenn in thiss tewmple with a moving cam at night, it gooes to the window ansdd sees this chick in bed who dreamns of climbing stone stairs andf a dude fightng guys with swords and sayoing hes theb Ninja Defender Suzuka Hatai

then this blue outfit chick Jun Saruwatari wastes a few ninja and sez she's Ninja Defender

then a White Ninja comes in Ryu Momoji leader of ninja dragons and called dragon and gives main chick a bnell to call him if shes in danger

she wakes up holding the bell and then we see a japanese tea thing where a chick thanks dad for it and driunks it

her dad Takeo Nindo tells her, whos called Shinob Nindo, about how the Nindo Klan was founded by descendants of Ninja who weren't needed aftere the Edo period peace

but those with ninja dna are destined to carry the family legend and shinobu is the 6th head of The Klan cuz she got the bell as dad didin't get it and she might have more ninja dna

FOR OVER 200 YEARS THE NINDO KLAN REIGned over the violent ninja world as they have ninja warriors who work for em and are called the ninja defenders

they can only be summoned by those with the bell and appear to people in dreams

sarada sez the ninja defenders, which sounds like a 90s video game, show up when The Klan faces danger and later shinobu sez she hopes the bell dont ring while in her room and loking at a photo of her mom and asking "what doi i do now?"

then this loser nerd beta male candya55 geek nerd Yu Shinoyama comes in and is shinobus driver and truyes taking her bags

so he drives her and in japan they drive on ther WRONG side of the road and he sez he never did anything worth mentioning esp not ninja cr-p

she stops ahead of the school so her friends dont see her with a loser and she gotta seppuku like a nut too broiken to know ehat he is being called what he is

a car with a sdhadowed over guy drives by her and shadow guy sez theres something about her

in thus bathroom thew gutteing guy criushes in a mans face with his  bare hand and has shades like the guy from power blade on nes

so Shinobu like in Ninja Nonsebnse is with her japanese school girls in uniforme but not b0ning cuz thisa isnt an H Anmime, and gets flasges of demon face eyes in stone glowing

nerdlinger picks her up in his car and later they smoke cigarettes and she sez shes a yakyza daughter but caughs from souckjing those faegez

she sghows him the dragion bsell and it hasn't rang and he sez it might make good things happen like him having a marble as a kid and she didnt lewt him say where he kept it (In his a55? or in his uncut man thing skin?)

so they druive on and get hoime and sarada beats nerdlinger for taking a detyour as something mightve happened to her

gutter drives off in a big black car and the next day nerdliinger is beat up from sarada and kept  getting in the weay of a guy sweeping the outside steps

the cooworkers say the last guy did everything she wanted and got iced

nerdo has a black eye and a jiob but no fat lip or tan and shinobu laughs ayt him abnd he puts a patch on

in da road shinobu sees a pink klad bike motor bike rider like cutey honery and they see each other and in a trance has nerdmo follow him i mean her(unless its really a hermaphrodite like Go Nagai likes)

after stoppuing by whwere the bike parked she sends nerdmo off to tell her college shes out or w./e and then the pinbk chick comes out and  and she gets kinda sapazzy

nerdmo goes to use a payp[phone and some chuick is using it and be f--ks around and acts b--chy when shes not loooking

shinobu walks off and nerdmo comes back and cant find her abnd f--ks around lookimng for her

shinobu follows ;pinko and gets to these stone steps in an olde toimey janenese areae and snaps outta her trance and the bell rings

this tall guy grabs at her but not her t-ts or a55 but neck and she drops the bell as it rings and she runs as gutter walks after her with his long japoanese legs

sges cornered and nauilw him uin da head with a metal bar to no effect and screams and faints like a little girl

then white ninja derrfender throwss shuriken in gutters hewwad and does shinobi cr-p

shinobu returns to nerdmo but blacks out and then in a dream asks if this yakuza tATTOO guyt is the one who saved her and he sez hes watching over her and i think its white defender ninja

she wakes up and hears the bell and then is in the card and nerdist sez he tricked his bosses about yesterday and wants to stop by the school gate today

we see a bath place with bodies and an office with a guy with i think a pipe in his mouth and not a b0ner dripping with spurm

at this dinner these guys talk about how Nagai isn't here and this guy sez leaders of the organizatyion was attACKED L8LY AND they dont know whos icing em

also don't upset the infrastructure of the organization

is this the mafia or a union? same thing in many ways

Go Ranjuji sez it won't work and others disagree but he calls in pink chick and gutter who bring in a head on a platter l;ike John The Baptist who was executed for not being pc and speaking out against a sinful marriage, like wuith the froooty booty's today

Go Ranjuji sez he will control the kanto reigon like hes the slum king or sometrhing aand his goons slaughter the other guys with a machine gun but 1  guy tries to end Ranjuji with a hidden katana, only to be iced by gutter with his blade

i think that was shinobu's dad and he sez something about shinobu and Ranjuji  literally peels off a dudes face with his f--kin bare hand and licks it or eats it or something

this movie is f--jun bada55! Its like Riki-Oh or Brain Dewad/Dewad Alive or something

after class nerdmo is cleaning the wishhield and licks it and she sez sorry about yesterday and wants to get her a present but he dont wanna detour

they go anyway and find a Devilman Plushie but mayybe a Kekko Kmen barbie doll would be better

they get home and no ones there but nerdo goes bada55 for a sec and notivcces something

the 2 guys sweping the outside tell her that her dad wasd iced by Ranjuji  and his body is in the room with no cops or drs or anuything

fam killed by dad guy? like akira fudo, honey kisaragi and Kotetsu Jeeg?

nerd gives the finger abnnd sez in his brock from pokemon/kaiba in yugioh voice "don't f--k with me!" and his clothes come off like Cutey Honey but not burning off and he';s a bada55 with yakuza tattoos

he sez in the 5th year of tehsho in the war of aiga in the fortress of momoji, Zandao Momoji said  to defend the momoji bloodline and  genryu offered and in him a secret bloodline zleeps(better inbreed to keep it pure) and dont awaken until danger attacks the moomoji bloodline and  he goes on some poem about burning AND DANCING AND FLAMING BLOOD and he is a ninja defender and protected the bloodline fort a long time

he never expected it to happen on his watch and spazzes out about his bad 90s hair liker the red hot chilli peppers and does ninja hand signs in front of the moon and ki smoke rises from him and he summons the ninja defenders

in shinobu';s room she sees something outside and opens the window to look like a dumba55 as it might be a coon or bear or kappa and when she goes out, this chick grabs her anbd covers her mouth

one of the cleaners sees and sez she migt be one of Ranjuji';s goonss and pulls a knife and whistles and the ninja defenders come

the bad chuick throws a  smoke thing and throws shinobiu at em and these toher guys are easily killed by her and she ppulls the heart out of the cleaner as her face got a cut and homo milk comers out

the ninja defenders get there too late and everyoines dead and shinobu is captured like princess peace or the chick from sonic 06 and the ninja run fast at night

bad chick i think played by cutey suzuki brings shinobu to Ranjuji  and holds her dowen at the neck and she serz to ice her like he did her dad

when Ranjuji  sez he cant, she spits on his face and he sez shes a tough chick and will use her as a bride to mix their bloodlines and take over  the wolrd like pinky and the brain

thats how you do it? b0ne a ninja chick? is that where la blue girl goit it from?

so he wants her to produce eggs for him to breed with and has gold eyes liker a super saiyan 4 and hypnotizes her

he wants to cleanse her of yazuka blood and makes pig soundfs as he watches the ninja comming in soem kind of floating thing

the ninja use ninja items like blow guns and thriowing things to take out guards and shinobu is in the bath then is isn a dress and got make upmput on to look hot

the nbinja go on and ice 2 more ghuys like kenichi in violence jack and come into an arena and all theser enemy come out

thjis just went golden axe or sengoku on neoo geo

after a pretty cool fight scene with a camera goin fom a birds eye view and back, they use ninja weapons and ther enemyus use guns but the red ninja backflips away to vade like power rangerd

1 guy is face cut off and is a robot under it

blue ninja chick wastes guys including with her thighs and wait, thats cutey suzuki, niot the bad guy whos the female ninja babe Jun

Suzuka sez leave em to b e and Ryu  goes ahead after cutting a uy in half like wkth Oyu in Black Lion Ranjuji watches in a room full of chicks with white masks and \Suzika kicks a55 inside

Ryu uses a ninja smoke thing and the guys devolve and have fleshy faces growing out of therir torsoes like total recall but this came 1st and that was done with a bug budget so it looked better

btw wheres a lot of little jokes and quips like Ryu cutting opn a door and saying Heeeeeres Johnny!

this dub was by central park media who did la blue ghirl and voltage fighter gowcaizer ands battle arena toshinden and m d geist and some slayers cr-p, so its in soviet new york and back when dfubs were fun

Jun is running outta steam and gutter comes up and she breaks her blade boomerang like in power blade on nes on him Znd he backhands her like a p-mp

he lifts her up by the throat and strtangles her and iut cuts to the bad chick bringing in shinobu tothis church to marry Ranjuji who looking it up, was half italiano and have nuiipponjin

add some austian and you got zee whole axis nmein fuhrur!

also, holuy cr-p, the head on the plate was Go Nagai in a director cameo!

like how he slips Go chan in all his cr-p

so un cutey suzuki is being strangled and i think bites it and goes limp after her thicc thights kicked for a biut

wait shes not dead and Suzuka comes in and fights gutter as she runs off

as Ranjuji kisses shinobu her bell rings and she snaps out of it and Ranjuji spazzes out from it

Ryu cutz through some guys and suzuka puts a metal staff together after escaping and goes ninja moves and the badds come up wqearing shades like the wachowshi boys ripped oof in the m,atrix

suzuka fights oofthe guys and 1 he busts the face with the staff and its a fake head but a robot and white fgoo spoills out like he sucked too many b0narz

curey jun fights the female baddie but not pixie from monster rancher in her succubus loking thing and suzuka busts gutter under the chun and milk comes out but he shanks suzuka with a blacde in the back

dont worry, he's gonna be ok, its not that bad, theres a hospital planet nearby

he sez he loves ryu always but not in a queer way cuz go nagai dont do yaoi

jun takes off her robe and is in a wrestling outfit and has a prowrestling match against the bad chick cuz go nagai likes that

shouldnt she be all bifg and beefy like teagan clive or Nikki Fuller? i mean we got Rikki and Fire Venus and jun Asuka

also therres a mat right in the middle of this temple or w/e

so jun eventually is beat withg a canbgle and it loks like a rubber b0nar and theres no dialogue, only action like a silenty film AND EVENTUALLY SHE GETS held by the crotch and head and back strained

Ryu jumpos through a woodf door and Ranjuji crushes the bell with 1 hand and A SNIUPER GETS rYU IN THE SHOULDER

DONT WORRY, HES GONNA BE OK  HE JUST NEEDS SOME REST

so he takes off his ninja outfit and shows his yakuza tattoos and Ranjuji  goes off with shinojbu

ryu cuts shinobu down friom a chanfelier and i wonder how long it took him to tie her up

then Ranjuji attacks and theres a ninja swordfight and ryu gets busted and shinobu recognizes him a yu(Ryu, Yu, its like theres a connection)

Ranjuji devoilves and they jump out and now hes some big purple faces demon mutant and easily beats on Ryu as sword cuts font do jack sh-t

Ryu triesd kung fu but Ranjuji  vanishes and shows up behiund him as a huge a55 slug cobra croth thing  and  shinobu faints again

Ranjuji  summoins ki and so does ryu and he uses ninja dragon fire flame and slices through his neck and he asploedes and all it took was 1 super move like in sinobi

then Ranjuji goes to his final forme like its castlevania and looks like something outta beetlejuice and barfs smoke at em

ryu shanks him with the ninja swird in the mouth and miulk blasts out but Ranjuji head hads tentalces grabbing shinobi and ryu grabs it and kicks it away after a fight

so theres a big a55 flesh pile of the bad guy and he carries her outand across a bridge despite being all covered in blood and f'd up

the area has no people left and tyhe broken weapons of hsi ninja homies are there

then a space ship flies off and looks liek a whale and crotch and its rrevealed the bad guys were aliens like f--kin team america with the film actors guild and an asian dictator teaming up to sh-tm on American Heroes

toyally not like the media, the chinese marurta maoh leader and Trump

then after the credits was Go Nagai's head on a platter bending sideways

the end

that was pretty fun

great fubnn with all these refs and quips like mxc and the effects are cool and theres good gore and action

the acting is nice and its got elemenmts of Go Nagai manga like lonmg action scenes w/o talk and cool gore and babes and robots and aliens and other cr-p

i liked it and its a well done smovie

the main guy does well as both a nerd and a bada55 and its kinda like shinobi or ninja gaiden

Go Nagai is always entertaining and makes things cool and interesting

He's a mastyer story teller and started all kinds of things trhat people love about anime, bwefore it devolved and went sissy

For The Ninja Dragon 2 I want new aliens to come at earth and use bug creature yokai like things to attack, but the Ninja use their ninja cr-p to bring out a giant karakuri robot and fight em, also its a 16 bit beat em up  on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the ninja in huyman mode and summon the ninja mech to fight the eenemy but thats still a beat em up level and you fight several alien bio flesh mechs at once

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Firecreek Review

 Mptre; i spell like i'm flamiong on

Firtercreed

This os my reviwew i Firecreek from the distant future year to trocd browning ofd 1968 (30 years before tyhe bglobal cicveiol war in ronotech)

its direcytal by Vincent McEveety who diod nothing i saw

it stars jimmy stwaret frm, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\It's a Wonderful Life\The Naked Spur\Rear Window\Vertigo\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\The Rare Breed\An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, Henry Fonda from Jesse James\The Grapes of Wrath\The Ox-Bow Incident\Fort Apache\12 Angry Men\How the West Was Won\The Swarm, Inger Stevens from Hang 'Em High\The Twilight Zone, Jacqueline Scott from  The Twilight Zone\Planet of the Apes the show\Empire of the Ants\Cold Case. el polen zakken Gary Lockwood from Warlock\Star Trek\2001: A Space Odyssey, Dean Jagger vrom Revolt of the Zombies\The North Star\Dark City\The Robe\White Christmas\Bad Day at Black Rock\X the Unknown\The Proud Rebel\The Twilight Zone, Ed Begley 1 from Tulsa\Dark City\12 Angry Men\The Dick Van Dyke Show\tv movie Inherit the Wind\Hang 'Em High, Jay C. Flippen from Bend of the River\How The West Was Won\The Greatest Story Ever Told\The Dick Van Dyke Show, Jack Elam from Ride Clear of Diablo\The Night of the Grizzly\Once Upon a Time in the West\The Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County\Hannie Caulder, James Best from, Forbidden Planet\The Killer Shrews\The Andy Griffith Show\The Rifleman\The Twilight Zone,. BarBara Luna from Star Trek, Brooke Bundy frtpom A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master\The Brady Bunch\The Partridge Family, Morgan Woodward from Cool Hand Luke\Star Trek, John Qualen from yjr 30s he Three Musketeers\The Grapes of Wrath\the 40s Jungle Book\Casablanca\Captain Kidd\The Searchers\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\7 Faces of Dr. Lao\A Patch of Blue\The Andy Griffith Show\The Partridge Family, Louise Latham gtp. Highway to Heaven, and some dinks not on soy bpoy beta male  baCK DOOR CANDY A55 BLUE pilled ppencil neck comme stoner peta vegan gender offender wikipedia

i never saw this but heards its good

so its in widescreen and colored and we get credits tio axction music and horses running

ooh, music by alfred newman

so these cow guys come to a creak and send 1 in to scope it out

in this villagejimmy is a farmer and they have church in the middle of the week cuz the priest is busy

i think jimmys woman is pregnent and might poop it out soon

1 kid dont like the church in the mid weeek and mnimmy sez to remember the time we go up or down comes

the kids want jimmy to read the bible instead and jimmy goes in to clean upand his woman sez shes gonna poop out his kid

hnnnnnnnnng

psssssssssssssst

plop

wife wants jimmy to bring the kids to church as shes poopin it out and

so the scuzzy cowguyy come actross this blonde and the cow guys catch her and wanna sell her as she falls in ther water wearing white

tey gn b90ne her dead!

she faslls in the dirt and they see her hairless legs and 1 guy is gonna b0ne her w/o c with out consent and some guys comes by and its the sherrif and his crew and they save her

the baddz pay for her dirty dress and wait i think its the rest of the bad guys and the chick gets away

those guys are like hollywood people w =with the b0ning blondes w/.o consent and paying em off

so blonde comes back home and gets undressed and mom sees her and thinks she was b0ning guysand has 5$ on her

she sez she fell in the creak getting it and mom takes it and  sez she has enough dresses when blonde wants to buy a new one

so da baddz come to town and see a little blonde kkid playing in the mud and the people of town being at peace

they see a mexican chick and main baxd wants to have a gun hole treated

2 badds roughhhouse as mexico takes the kid off and 1 bad beats the other and holds his face in the mud then a water thing

jimmy comes by and saves the drowning guy but the drowner aims a gun at him

i think someone sez jimmy is the sherrif and drowned guy coughs and almost beats the dorwner with a stick having not learned his lesson

main bad sez h didnt count on the law being around and goes to ssay sorry to jimmy but jimmy sez hes honorary sherrif who gets 2$ a month

makjn bad sez his horse got a cracked rib and jimmy sez his woman is pooping out a kid and the dr might be here soon

1 guy wants to raise horses but jimmy sez to save up for it

i think this guys kinda ret-reded and gets bummed that hes not good enough but jimmy sez he does good and some guy sez he needed huim

1 geezer sez jimmy should have asked where the badds were from and he sez he dont and priest ciomes in and chats wiuth jimmy of his woman

in this shed, the badds sit around and 1 plays wuth his gun and the blonde kid

mexiico sez the  kid is hers but the kid is too lite for em to buy it

dr checks out main bad for his cracked rib and i thought it was da horse and blondes mom got the badds room ready

she gets him bandaidds and hot wwater and in a store blonde is by jimmy as he comes in

jimmy asjks a neighbor to look after his  kids and jimmy planned on having a partty for his birthed kid

in mexicottage, the badds wanna go to sweetwater and they laugh and 1 feels the mexichick but she goes off with the kid

this is like violence jack or the last house on the left with violent lusty guys in a gang

what if the blonde kid really is the son of the mexican but she used to be blonde but got cursed for evil like in the book of mormon?

so mom of blonde comes in with the cr-p hewad bad wanted and he wants her tobandage him but she sezhes got a bullet in him based on how  much blood on his shirt but he sez a dr took it out

she cleans him AND he hits on her abndin church, mexicio and blonde kid sit with the jimmy

the bDDS come out and hearthe pirtest warning ofh-ll and come in, but priestwelcomes em in but theyt drink liquor and priest tells em no booze in church

they dont care and jimmy sez the c,ose the store duribng church but they ask what if a man needs cr-p fast

jiimmy sez it never cameup b4 and they wait as  prioest wartns of h-ll and sin and how its not worth your soul

1 badd tells him to stfu and thinks  priest was tallking rigyt at him

jimmy sez people came to see the priest andbadd tells him off as ret-rtded guy stands up fir him, only for bimmy to try to cxool things andsend the badds on

the town wans to send them out and asks where thety from/going but bimmy sez its not his business and they cant kick a guy out for bad manners

like candy a55 commies spazzing out over a guy wearing a hat of a guy the commie dont like

ohhh, its a hate sumbol, it supporets hate

yeahg, well you hate him, isnt that bad too??

soo blonde fixed up main badd instead odf going to church, as made was not made for the sabbath but the sabbath for man

he wants to b0ne her and she goes and he looks out the window

the badds are out side like a buncxha homies by a drug store ready to shoot it up

priest goes off to martry others in the hills and bimmy invites hiom to dinner next time

siinner badd spins his guin and kids are impressed like buffalo bill and he shoots a bell and it f--ks out priests horse and he falls off

he sez sorry and the devolved badds stand around priest and priest sez no harm done and they walk off

the priest pulls out a big black gun and caps the guy in the back as blood erputs out his torso front

jk realy 1 guy wants jimmy to arrest em on suspician of them being wanted somewehere

jimmy sez hes a substitubte sherrif andhas a pregnant woman and is a farmer and 1 guy goes up to help the pregwife

el ret-rdo sez 'dont forget, i'm ur deputy' and bimmy sez "i need ur heklp i'll call on ja"

so mexico wants to go andbimmy dont want her to

blonddes mom knows main badd is a buncha crooks who go around ausing damage and are on the run from the law

main badd dont wanna quit his violence and sell out but she sez he reminds her of a guy she liked who died in the indian wars a decade agio and hee thionks she gave up abnd came to this f--ktiown

tthe badds screw around and 1 busts through a glass window w/o getting cut up and they pay the mexican dude who ownes the place 5$ for the window

bimmy sez to keep the noise dowqn and they wanna drink with him and 12 takes his tin star badge and looks at it

bimmy sez his boys made it andnits spelled sherrif and is crooked letters, but making words in metal is rough

bimmy goes to put his kids to bed and not to sleep like in soviet canbada where they execute people for being sad or sick

so da badds plan something and wanna draw straws for who does what, which nowadays we'd roll dice like in D&D

el ret-rdo is hugging a dog and probably b0ning him in the real verskjo cuz hes a furry or w/e anbd hears something

he goes in check it out with only his pet/lover like in germany with the zoo pride parade

he sees a broken window and checks out this dark builkding and sees a guy b0ning the mexican w/o conswent

the b09ner beats him out and thrtows him outsidree and sez to go back to his cr-p and goes in to b0ne her but el ret-rdo attacks but is easily beat outy

el ret-rdo pulls badds firearm and aims at him but the gun goes off and sends him to h e doubel california

he sez he didnt mean to AND THE BADDS BLame him for shooting a man in thwe back like yamcha in drtagon ball evolution

ewl rer-rtdo sez the guy was hurting mexichick and he never used a gun b4 and mexico backed him up

we got 1 hour left

bimmy wants a judge and the badds want a rope for the guy to stringh him up and bimmy knows el rert-rdo wouldnt do anythin bad and takes him to jail to protect him

the badds wanna avenger their raepist homie like when malcontents burn down towns when an alleged human is iced while doing a crime

bimmy tells el ret-rdo hes keeping him safe in jail and isnt arresting the men as the time isnt right as he dont know if he has the right to do so

the badds get wood and put the body in a chair out front and mnake noiseto get the town awake

swouldnt the guinshot weake em up?

they have a service for their  raepist homie and blonde flirts with one of the badds and bimmy sends her back in to protect her

so the badds party and put boose in deados cup and play fiddle liek lacy chabert in sonic 06 i mean party of five where shes the only normal one cuz charlie is a loser, baily is a j=rkoff and julia is a 5kank

bimmy wants to put an end to it but iostold its nothing worth getting hurt over and in daylight the malcontents will be gone and probably go around butt f--king other people dead

this hairless guy goes on about how you advance or bite it and the towen full of  losers lasts therit lives

hairless gave up doing hard things and law cr-p and bimmy sez we gpot more than that here

bimmy goes off to his woman and blonde coems out to b0ne the guy whes into, i think hes the sinner who told off the pruest

there goes her motuh virginity, to all 4 guys, at once!

she dances with sinner and later head bad has a moment with blonde mnom and they make out and probably b0ne

so bimmy finds his woman had false labor and she's all sweary and worn out and they have a moment

she asks why they settled for this cr-ppy town and asks huim tk stay with hwer

in the daylight blonde mom comes in and bimmy goes back to town to med and defend, defend his nerwfound friends, their hopes and dreams, to defend them from their enemies

but hes conflicted as he thinks his woman needs hium, but blonde sez she's gonna be ok now

as bimmy goes she wakes up and wants him to hold her hand so blonde mom does it

when he gtes to towen he sees the people all hanging from gallows and spazzing out as theuy die and the badds laughing

jk really its everyione inside and no one out

in 1 barn he sees the ret-rded guy strung up and he cuts him down and is gentle cuz he dont wanna hurt the dead guy

looks like hes gonna go akira fudo/kenshiro/riki-oh/violence jack/cutey honye, ect

he was shocked and wonders how the town let the bads lynch the guy

when good men do nothing, that is evil enough, dhalsim

the bads came in and sez the townsfolk had no choice and thewre was no law there so they made their own

bimmy vows to follow em and bring em to a m,archall to artrest em but 1 guy shoots bimmys leg

his pants have no hole in erem nor blood and sinner offers him 5$ to color i mewan cover it

bimmy wants a gun from the hairless guy and hairless sez its not ut business and he sez they iced the ret-rd cuz he didnt stand up to em

also nimym goes on a speech about how ret-rtded guy wasnt a loser cuz he stoof up and how he came here as it wasn't a struggle and if ypou giive up ur done

badds carry off the ret-rd to b0ne/eat and bimmy sez the blonde kid was his brothers

bimmy gets a gun like dougble dragon on game gear and goes postal on em and spooks the horses the badds had

the badds run over to cap him but bimmys not there

12 busts in a basrn and looks but theres nothing there

bimmys gonna sniper!

time gor some jf k time!

head bad sez hes going off and will let bimmy get a marshall but if he stops em theyr'd burn the town

blondes grandpa wishes he still had legs to fight em and 1 guy is ready to toech the place but jimmy gets him at gunpoint and tlels him o disarm

scuzzmo slaps tyhe gun away and fights bimmy but bimmy pitchforks him in where the womb wouyld be if men had thouse or of he was a hermaphrodite like in go nagai manga

sinner bf goes in crawling on his belly like the snake he is and sees bimmys gone

he thinks he saw somethiign oh and scozzmo fewll out of the barn and bit it a bit ago

as sinner bf walks tyhe wood below his fert breaks and bimmy hears and he crawls around

the kids see the guy and bimmy heading to the same corner and yttell tyo their dad and bimmy rolls and caps the sinner bf

nowadays THEY would whine about the kids being "trtaumatized" by seeing dad ice a guuy and being partly responsible as they warmed him

but in REAL liufe, 1800s dudes were tough

bimmy walks out in the open and main badd caps him in the left arm and sez drop it and you'll live

bimmy reloads and the gun is shot out of his hand, which will rerally blow his hand apart as seen in ythbusters

bimmy goes for the gun and blonde mom snipers m,ain badd and he sees it was her b4 he bit it

see you in h-ll... um... whatrevert his name is

so the town comes out seeing how they toughed out the bandits and bimmy stood up for em and is the Destiny HERO BLOO-D

bimmys kids are glad to see him and he goers off with em and we dont find out what the deal is with his woman pooping out their kid

the end

that wwas pretty good

goes by at a good pace and while not much happens, it holds your interest

good people interaction and a slow burn to get to as violent outcome

it dont drag and has flow and is well filmed and acted with nice music

jimmy does a good job of a  man poushed too far and its kinda like Spider Man with Uncle Ben how if he stopped em b4 he'd save the guy

its kinda like the 00s x men 1 with not much action but that was a build and release instead of it all happening atr the end

i liked it and jimmy did a good job in here, as did fonda

For Firecreak 2 I want soime more outlaws tio come by and the town seems calm but wen one of em goes too fare, the town spriungs into battlemode and takes em out one by one as they struggle to escape, its revealed the town saw they had to be strong and hAD got into training hard and building sklill with weapons and fists and now were a bada55 force like American Ninja Shaowlion Cowboy Farmers. Also its a 16 bit board game on sega genesis, snes, ytg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the town and take on the enemiuues by trolling dice and drawing cards for weapons of moves to use on em, and theres also traps to plant to ice em.

Monday, July 24, 2023

Cowboy Review

 Notwe'; i spell like i'm from moo mega

Cowboy

This is my review on Cowboy  from the distant future year to President Jefferson Davcis of 1958 (440 years before the Gloval Civil War in Robotech)

its direcual by Delmer Daves who did Demetrius and the Gladiators

it stars glenn ford quagmire from Blackboard Jungle\the remake of Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse\Superman, Jack Lemmon from Some Like It Hot\The China Syndrome\JFK\Grumpy Old Men\The Simpsons\12 Angry Men, Dick York from Inherit the Wind\The Twilight Zone\Bewitched\The Flintstones King Donovan from Angels in the Outfield\Singin' in the Rain\Invasion of the Body Snatchers\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Brian Donlevy from Jesse James in 399, Richard Jaeckel from The Violent Men\The Dirty Dozen\The Green Slime\Chisum\Airplane II: The Sequel Vaughn Taylor from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof\Warlock\Psycho\In Cold Blood\The Shakiest Gun in the West, James Westerfield from On The Waterfront\Three Hours to Kill\The Violent Men\Birdman of Alcatraz\Hang 'Em High, Frank DeKova froom King of the Khyber Rifles\The Ten Commandments\Teenage Cave Man\The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond\Atlantis, the Lost Continent\The Greatest Story Ever Told\Heavy Traffic, Strother Martin from The Red Badge of Courage\thje 50s A Star is Born\The Black Whip\Black Patch\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\McLintock!/Cool Hand Luke\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid/Hannie Caulder\SSSSSSS\the 60s The Twilight Zone, and some guys i never saw in anything

i nevber saw this b4 but its based on a book i nwvewr read by  Frank Harris, My Reminiscences as a Cowboy thats baSED on his life

ew its wrote by soviet daklton trumbo, hes a commie and did gay a55 spartacus but alsoo the good Exodus somehow

so after credits of colored squares ab d credits and a newspaper in widescreen we getta cowboy at a hotel saying somerone is comming to the hotel soon

its mr reese like kyle reese and the hotel guys move the people in the room he wants to be in and jack lemmon with blickette black hair dont like i

so jack in dating the reese';s daughter whos a mexico and i think they b0ned

so ther jack tries to get the people in the reese room to relocaste and its a mexico and hes the one whos the gf's dad

he has a poem from jack and jack admits he likes her but dad dontconsent but jack wants to be in the cattle business

mexidad leaves and wait he sends the jack out and sez theres no way for him to have his michild

so reese comes in and hes glenn forde and has a crew with a lot of guys on the trail and they're tired of beef

mexidad chats friendly with redsse and wanna do deals in cow slaves and mexigf looks at jack b4 leaving

reese lost 87 cows and talks with a guy about opera but he dotn know it and knows his cow stats about sellling them to guys but the market is closed and they wont know til tomorrow

reese wants a hot bath after being on the ol dusty trail

so after doing deals hes in the tub andc not a really fat chick like on the learning channel and jack brings him booze and talks about how he was raised on a farm and wants to be in the cattle buisiness

this is in chicago before they devolved into mad max and the civilized areas and jack hates it there and weants to be on the trail

reese sez jacks an a55 and his phantasy about a goode time on the traIL IS A crock of sh-t and horses s-ck

also reese keeps shooting bugs with a revolver and sez horses taste like a55 and donty think jack otta go with himn

after shooting at a spider and blowing a hole in the pipe's a55, he goes to the opera and has some 1800s bimbos with him

then some cards and not yuguoh where i fuse e hero neos and cyber end dragon into cyber neos

after p-ssing away his money in a card game, jack offers to invest in his thing with 3000 $ from his dad selling the farma and he'd come with him on the trip to the grand line to find the one piece

so the reese uses the money to win back and wait i think the jack wrote a contract to make clear the terms like Go Nagai does

reese sez he never signbed a contract and has a reputation to uphold even though contracts are proof incase anyone forgets, or you can f guys into sdelling you th=eir souls

like south park with the human centiupad where he signed w/o reading it and was sewed a55 to mouth to 2 guys

so thw jCK GOES OUT TO JOIN THE TRIP on thwe journey to the west but reese dont wanan be partners and wantss to paAy him off with interest

jack wants to go with him and quit his job and jack sez i made a deal and dont want you to welch out and this mexicano sez if jack wasn't honest then reese would have killed him by now

reese is minda bitter and burned out like rambo in  the 4th rambo or some versions of batman

so after a train ride they pick up dr bender whos descendant would go to school with molly ringwoirm and she'd get to over 600lbs and have a shower scene ion tyhe learning channel under the name nikki

the jack wanted to buy new clothes but theres no time and the cowboys think hes a candya55

the wagons take off like jayve and the wheeled warriors, or maybe not, i never saw that show and only knkw the title and they get mote guys at a camp thats not 731

theyy get horses and gotta break em in and jack has issue with his a55less chaps

imagine if they b0ned the horses into submission as the horses screamsed and j-zzed?

this just went brony

jack is afraid of the horse as these manly dudes hold and wrestle with their horses but not in bed like the french do

ghe gets on 1 and it spazzed out and he fell off and tries again as the horse goes emntzl and spazzes around

so they go on a journey and eventually stop by a lake and its night and jack getrs his a55 rubbed with salt water ans whiskey from too much a55 riding

reese dont like jack not doing his work and offers his money back but jack goes to do his slave chores

the next day they have steak for breakfast cuz they need protein and arre alpha males who dont go vegan

then mnore travel and jack seeing indians and woiods and other things

at night a guy zez he turned down a chick cuz he didnt wanna livbe in chicagoi and q guy was a town marshall but quit after he got tired of killing all these people and got jumped in da dark ansd capped em and found they were oung and drunbk

as oppsooosed to youth today doing fentinel and beating up pregnant chicks before the cops hold him down as the drugs kick in

1 guy tthows a rattlesnake at jack and the idiots play catch with the snake and 1 guy got biut and spazzed out and died

wait hes still lingering aand they wrapped him in blankets to try to keep him alive and 1 guy talks about eating indians

well, they eat us, so its only fair

so the bit guy bites it from those jacka55es throwing a deadly animnal around, which is like playing russian roulette but aiming it at anyone

they berry him deep so the coyotes dont get him and the guy who threw the snake tries to take his boots jack sez to beat him out for it but reese throws jack and sez thats how the trail goes and jack otta dig the grave

reese sez words about if its anyones fault and we dont got aAll the answers and if it wasnt a snake it might;ve been a steer or commanche or horse falling in a prarie dog a55 hole

wow we're nearly AN HOUR IN WITH ADDS, THAT FELT LIKE NOTHING

SO JACK STAYED UPO AT NBIGHT THINKING OF HIS MALCONTENTARY AND THE NEXt day they go on to sad music

they they mack it to soviet mexico where this is before the cartels took over and b0ned people dead and cooked em in acid and ate em

i knew some mexicoes and they liked dbz and chicks with big butts

reese sez the men can drink now and brand cattle tomorrow and jack goes off to find his mexichick

rreese introduces jack and a mexico to mexidad and they go in to see his mexikid and shes married to a mexico

jack cant take it and pulls out his gun and puits it to hsi head and says "one way one" and fires as his head pops and sprays her!

jkn really he asks why she didnt wait and she sez she wrote to him but he left the day after hewr

her mexican husband dont like jkack and dont want her with him alone cuz they might b0ne and his son woiruld be like its said about peter trudeau and his effeminate alleged son

after a game of grabbing a chicken on horseback off the groudn they have a matador thing wait its a thing where you gotta pout a ring on a big black bulls blood red horns

jackm volunteers and rides in on his horses a55 and in a field of cows and the black bull trys to shank the horse with its long hard red horns

jack gets the ring on and wait it was the mexican busband and the next guy who goes in in reese who goes in horseless

use your ki to handle it, turn it clear to be undetectable

so glen fords stunt double dodges the bull attacks and gets the ring on it

America Trumps mexico! Freedom!

mexichick tells the jack to meet at this place at 8 and he does and she sez she had no choice in who to marry cuz mexico is the 3rd world and dont belong on our blue and pure world

she smooches him and goes off w/o saying if she loves him as in the husband

so jack goes to a bar and this guyt gets in issue with comming onto another mans wiooman and 4 guys are gonna jump him and b0ne him dead

jack tries to get hellp but none  ofthe men on the thing wanna help cux threy got cows to breung in

jack is p-ssed cuz they queered out and won't save a mans life over animals but reese sezif he starts a fightit could turn the town on hthem

jacjkk goes anyway but reesae throws a metal at his leg sand they fight but resse wins and nearly cooks jack in the ca,pfire untiol hwe backs down

jack sez he'ds use a cerowbar on reese cuz he diont fight like a man and the next day, the bar guy charlie like the evil prince turned king who iced diuana and his other h0s is ok but has a busted arm

they go on and jack saves a calf who was lagging and is worth 20$ and jack hates rfeese now for his putting animals over humanbs

reese cmforts him as humans and mexicans breeding don;'t work out but jack is stull p-ssed

later indians are following em to steal cattkle and settles downb for the night anmd arrainges his troops but jack went off

wow theres only half AN HOUR LEFT WITH ADDS

that felt like nothing

so ther indians comes and the Am,ericans lock and load in case things go south korea

but the inaidas go off toward some other pplace and they figure that jack is there and the indians will get the strays

the indians ARE GONNA ICE HIM and jack the steers and queers but there's not much chance for the Americans to win if they go

the reese decides to stampede their steers and fires the gun in the air to send em tramplin

the stampeed chases AWAY THE IDNAIDBNs and jack goes violence jack and caps an indian with a rifle

thats what you get for trying to steal!

reese goes in and they iuce more indians but reese getrs capped and argues with jack over if he could take the indians

jack takes over and reese is f'd and this mexicomrade sez "what can go wrong" like he's f--kin bubsy

so jack leads the cattledrive but i think he dont know sh-t and we getta montage of him leading em

is this starscream?

2 guys fight and 1 is the guy who killd the guy wityh a snake and io dont mean b0ning him dead and after he beat the guy out, he goes to gut the guy like a fish with his blade cuz killing 1 mamn wasnt enough

jack saves the guy and has a gun and reese sez they lost around 200 cows but jack sez trhey wetrre reeses cows as he seperated em with a crowbar

like, in the back door?

so the reese gets better and can rise his horses a55 after getting his knee hot out and the ex marshall wants to go back toi the toen he left that they are near as he can live there as a citizen instead of a marshall

the grand marshall of h-ll from great mazoinger!

so they make it to the cattle area and load tyhe cattleya onto trains and this guy sez 1 guy hung himself after killing a guy in a barfight but jack dont care and is a harda55 now

reese tells off jack for devolving into a c-ck sucker but jack blames reese for being like that too

at nbight on a moving train the jack goes in the cow crate and crawls alonfg the walls

he falls on em and hets a horn shanked through him and he screams and dies in agony

jk really this minion goes to tell the reese and he goes to save jacks a55

jack tries to makr yhe cows stand but the cows are too big and as reese comes in jack has a horn at his crotch

the cows are too devolved to care and trample each other if they are sitting

so reese saves him and lifts a cow off the grond and jack sez he miscounted and the lost cows are 50/50 eaxh others

they goi to the hotel they were at iun the start and jack is now reeses partner nbut not like butt buiddies and the hotel guy who jack worked for now takes orders from jack as hes the customer

jack and reese take a bath together but inserarate tubs and jack shoots a cockroach with a big blacvk gun andf laughs as he sucks a cuigar

the end

that was pretty good

goes by at a good rate and has good character development

sorta like in Yugioh how Yugi gets more bada55 and the other Yugi gets nicer from each other

kinda surprized the guy didnt get the mexican

its got a good flow and goesx at a good pace instead of everytbninbg happening at once and its got a bit of breathing room

it seems like not much happens but thats whats interesting

like Alien 001 bwefore they meet the space daemon

jack is pretty bada55 and so is glen and the action is well done

theres parts w/o dialogue and showing instead of telling like a silent film and the movie doesn't drag or feel long

i liked uit and its a pretty coool story thats somewhat true

For Cowboy 2 i want for reese and jack to be on a drive and encounter some kind of sci fi mbase  run by devolved cAVEMEN like monsters that are moire sasquatchlike and tall, turns oiuyt, they were the offspring of humans and sasquatch and have sasquatch tech to try to find their sasquatch ancestors in their home dimension but wanna steal the cattle, so its up to jack and glen to shoot em down. also its a 16 bit run n run like sunset riders but more sci fi on sega genesis, tg16, snes, atari jaguar and gba where you play as them and fight through sasquatch cyber cities and olde weste towns to take em out, ending with a huge mecha sasquatch that you gotta take out its cores that power it one at a time to overload it and make it blow!

Friday, July 21, 2023

Morbius Review

 Note: I spell Morbinominal!

Morbius

this is my review on morbius from the distant fiture year to the Grandfson of Robert E Lee: Stan Lee, of 2022(the year of Robotech ii the sentinels)

its based on a comic from maervel but this is sony cuz its connected to spider man

Its directed by Daniel Espinosa who did nothing I saw

It stars Jared Leto from Urban Legend\\Phone Booth\Alexander\Blade Runner 2049, Matt Smith from Doctor Who which i never got into/Terminator Genisys, Adria Arjona friom Pacific Rim Uprising\Emerald City, Jared Harris from The Last of the Mohicans\Natural Born Killers\the 90s Lost in Space\Mr. Deeds\Igby Goes Down\Resident Evil: Apocalypse\The Curious Case of Benjamin Button\The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones\Pompeii\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\Axe Cop\Robot Chicken\The Mr. Peabody and Sherman Show, Tyrese Gibson from Blue's Clues and the transformes and fast and furious fioms i never watched, Corey Johnson from Saving Private Ryan\Black Hawk Down\The Bourne Ultimatum\Kick-A55\X-Men: First Class\The Bourne Legacy, and Michael Keaton from Night Shift\Mr. Mom\Gung Ho\Beetlejuice\Batman\Batman ReturnsMuch Ado About Nothing\Multiplicity\Jack Frost\White Noise\Toy Story 3\2010s RoboCop\Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)\Mister Rogers' Neighborhood\The Simpsons\Frasier\King of the Hill

it did bads at the box office but cuz of everyone memes of it, the studio put it back in theatres thinking its loved, but really everyuone was mocking it, and it taNKED

Everyone hates it but i,mma give it a fair shot

so after a lot of logos and crdsdits and title we get a long look through nature and a cave or soemthing that dont matter

also its really f-0-kjin widesacreen and colored

jared leto comes out of a chopped on crutches, which is crippleface as hes not really handicapped and has a trap put out

he looks like he's trying to be Jesus with that hair and face hair

so he slicves his hand and makes a blood offering liek that yugioh card and all these c-cj sickin bats come to sick his c-ck i mean blood as hes in a cage

then we flesh back 25 years and this criippled emop kid is playing chess alone and is introduiced to another cripple named lucien and lucius is brit

they have a genetic defect that means they need treatment to keep em alive cuz their parent s didnt practicve selective breeding

luscin aka milo like milons secret castle dies or something but morbiusu the mzin guy fixes his life support machine to keep him alive

and the machine needed an a55.oad of nerds to make and he fixed it easy

its always a super gisted loser who gets the powers

i mean gifted

so the dr's give miorbious a thing to a school for the gifted which i hope isnt by professor xavier and he leaves a note to milo

milo comes out and some kids take it so be beats 1 with his crutch then gets beat up, but when an adult man saves him, he wails on the kid

hes kinda unbalanxed, and weill probably grow up to be a psycho or cannibal

later moirbnuis grows up and gets it big by making artifical blood and the kind of some nordic country gives him an award

so now hes a dr and makes origami and looks like hes a junkie and he tuend down a nobel prizeand gets new blood added to him like the rich do to seem to stay young

theres a chick nurse who helps him and morbius has a big glass tube of bats andf the chick knows his passrowd is the 1st 6 numbers of Pi backwards and he could lose his licsnce for this

morbo uses vampire bat dna to let him cure his cr-ppy dna and devolve himself and sez its ok cuz evolution does it so if we f our dna its cool

spoiler; creation science disproved evolutiuion, its canon, fact!

so morbio puts bat dna in a rat and i sassume will make ratbat from transfortmers but the mouse spazzes outn  and dies

morb sez he sohuld have died years ago and wonders why hes alive and thsi black kid with bad dna or w/e has kidney f--kery

he injects her with bat dna and she spazzes out and barfs out her internal organs in a gortesque ddisplay

jk that would make it cool, really he giuevs her a needle

also the dead mouse revived and i guess is undead now like with the T Virus

so later the borb goes to mee some eutro trash and wait i think its luscis and the euro is da dr

they walk aroudn sopviet new uyork and chzt about cr-p and about being in love like f--kin minmei in robotech

in a park on a bench the mrobiuos sez ther curte is possibel but not legal and they used to hgave laws againsbt w White man b0ning a black man but now we got thatb all over the internet

so milo teams up with the morb and they we see some boat in the a55 wend of the world and morb is doing scienceto replace dna with animal ones which totally won't make us devolved or have weird side effects

what if it breaks a chromosome and you get symptoms similar to downs?

do morbuuis gets things strapped on to read his signals an gets cr-p injected into his spine and is strtapped down to the gerney as he spazzes out

man, all these comic book movies are the same

some nerd with problems gets mutated or devolved ort f'd and regrets it and suffers

so the chick talks with some mweathead and morbuis vanishes and when they go in hes on the ceilingand went feral

morbo jumps down and as his employee fiured on him he wacks him in a jump and chick locks them in as morbius has an autism attack and busts around the glass case

the guards come and he's phazing aorund in a whispy black treasil and the guards shove chick on her a55 and she bumps her head and gets brain damage and is a drooling monkey who wants others "kicked in da head"

wait thats degrassi

really she hiuts her head and morbuous breaks out of the glass and looks like a caveman and mocvres at high speed or uses muzsi tensei and busts the giuards as they fire on him

he's devolevd into some kinda monster and takes out the guards on the ship like its f--kin alien 01

1  guy he slices hsi nack like rei in okuto no ken and i think he eats some guys

cannibal hero vampire guy in attack mode

then he turns back from being count orlock and a a beefy manly herowith hair like the guy from Creed but devolved

after getting dresses he chex on his woman the nurse chick and watches the footage of the cameraas and sees his damages an barfs offscreen

he calls for help from his radio and the coips or w/e is called in, maybe the army,, and they mention soviet san fran sodom being f'd and only 1 survived and iyts chick and the bodies were drained of blood

milo hears it on da news and morbs came to visit the black kid in the hospiotal saying sorry and shes in a coma

in his lab, mnorbs statrts crippleing out amnd drunks blood ike hes megan fox and her butt buddy

remember in the 90s spider amn how he needed plasma and drained it through anus's on his hand?

so now the morbs needs blood to live ad is super human and flips around like a chimp in da zoo

then he goes in the bat chamber and has a synchro with them

is this like zoicite in sailor moon with the rats?

also he has echo locationand needs to control it so heaccess this sense by blosing his eyes or turnign em off and soudn waves go out and fill the area

so fake blood keeps him powered for 6 hours and it wears off fasrter and soon hes goota choose between drinking human blood like celebs do or  die

but he dont wanna repeat whet hapopened on da ship again

so milo comes into morbuius secret castle and sesz him locked in a glass thing and spazzing out and writing blood backwards on the glass perfectly with 1 finger

milo gets him it and he chuggs it and undevolves and miulo is glad morb found a cure nd wants it

morbmo dont wanna share his aids with him as he dont as he dont want him beign a blood sucker like him and milo sez the guys on da boat were thugs and didnt count

milo begs and borm lyells at him and it shocks milo an he cripples out

simon stroud whos white in the comics but got africanized for this film comes to see the chick abouut those who got iced on da boat

i realize that her missingmorbiosd turn is like with hunata or chichi missing goku or naruto turn beast mode

but i think orihime saw ichogo devolve, maybe, not sure

so later this  mexiican hermaphrodite looking nurse is alone in the dark the new nightmare asnd runs to turn on the light

sahe comes across the blacvk kid, inside out, and splattewred on the wall as if she was slammed so hard she ruptured

jk really morbuis grabs her and i think b0ned her dead

so morbio is in the black kids room and listens in with his astro boy hearing to  find the blood wwas drained from nurse and ralizes what he did

he gets da blood and leaves but africanized cop meets him and sez his fake blood saved his arm in da war

so morbs looks healthier and they ask if he did anything on da boat and he sz he'd do anything to save a life

they try to takehim in buut hebeats emn out and escapes to da roof with jumpsbut  blacked copgets him at guinpoint and he dont jump across the buildings

in jail he writes in his diary uh da fake blkood wiill stop soon

blacked cop and mexicabn cop meet himiin jail and mexicop has holy water

they say that no one cares of 8 men on a boat buit 1 ethnic wom,an is and they ask hgim to explain but he cant

the fake blood he dropped is in eviodence and hes getting unevolved and seaz; im hgetrting hungry, yuyou dont wanna see me hungry, like hes da hulke

milo comes in faking being a lawyer, which might be a crime, unless he identyifies as one

milos sez morbie dont belonmg here and hes not capible of ixing that nurseand leaves

jared leto in jail? sounds right

so milo legs his crutch and can walk fine as i guess he used the treatment on himself

morbo drinks blood thats there somerhow andhulks out and kicks through tyhe window and da guards come withguns like that'll do anuthging

so morbio is out and its morbin time and hes gonna morb all over the city

he goes cavemman and listens to hhear  milo and jumpss aroppund and finds him

morb sez milo shouldsnt have taken the cure and wanted to protect him from becomming a monster

milo sez the 1st time you dont know what ur doing and he otta embrace his identity as a vampire

milo sez he owes morbio everuything and looked up to him andwont go back and they fight across this train station

morb wantas cure em but da cops comein and milo wacks emand goers the flash to eat out back up i meran beat out

milo sez he delt witn dath all the time now THEY will fdor once

is this  like feninism where "men had it too good too long"?

milo attacks morbo and bmorbion dont fight bacvk but as milo comes at him as a train comes, mporb sees this wind that stopped him from jumping with the blacked cop after him

seize thre wind playmaker!

then he jumps and f--kin flies ahead of a train and leaves milo to eat more guys

da cops think mortbs did it and kevin morbo i mean milo looks at someone in an apartment at night

mexiicop follows this chick through a store and i thionk its main chick the nurse and sjhes on da bus as morbio is there talking to her with a hood over his face like the warriors in black like super draghon ball heroes

je tells her milo got thge powe ;like a micxro master traNSFORMER AND IS OUIT THERE ANDin a coffee place letop the morbo fakes sunlight burning him a bit then sez not dat kinda vampiure

he needs fake blood every 4 hours 22 mins and once it stoips working he becomes milo 2 electrioc boogaloo

mmorb sez he needs cr-p from da  lab but not what it is and went out wearing a hood like a cult member his actor might be intio

morb goes aftrer guys who took keys and said something of swiutching chenicals ad finds some dudes in a lab tthat he  tells em jhe wants

black guyt pulls a knife and morb breaks his hand and sez i am something i cant hear under his groowl but might be venom

so morb makers some cr-p in his lab as milo acts all gayish and dances w/o a shirt for the gay guys to j-rk off to like dr who eps

milo goes outto a bar and trys to pick up this  blonde who recognizes him from something she dont know

a guy like beta  ale justin timberlake shgoves milo and he leacvesbut at night he devolved intoi griumslkkull from skeleton warriors and ended the guy

at the nigt milo goes in the place of this other chick and wait its morbs lab and i think its main chick

she sez she dont know where he is andmilo leaves and she gets crt-p from ca lab

whos been fgeeding those bats? is there an auto feeder?

so da cops go in a home and its main chicks place and sghes goine andchick is with kevin morbo and cuts herself and bleeds which f'd with him like shhes not wearing a tent and hes in the 3rd world

morbo wants to kill but must resist and goes off to j-rk off blood from his d0ng and eat it

on da roof she comes up to see him and fixzed her finger so saye can jam it in when hes ready

threy makeb out  anmd i think superman ripped this off but the other way

milo saw em and later blacked cop and mexicop see a camera whewre someone got it and da feed seztheres a different ampire

its on da  news andtheres a vampire murderewr on da loose but even though morbuis is the prime directive suspect dfirective, the cops say it could e a copycat

eurpo trach seez milo abndis shicked he mutated himseldf matt is f'df cuz he cant sleep i mean miklo

muili b-0-ches about how morbs dont accept himself and hes gonna make morbs do it by ruining himn

also milo accuses dr whos the one who treated em in da past, of liking morbs more and he sliuces hm in da beer gut and sez "tell him i'd kill as many as i want"

in this lace, morbs  has a xerug that makrs an iron overload aND KILLS BATS/PEOPLE AND IS gonna end da milo

euro trasgh dr calls morbs and morbs goos too see hiim and he bites it

isnt thiis like with Blade 1 wirtth Chris Kristofferson?

also the fake blood

so milop has morbs gf andcalls to him like wi lex luthor in supoemabn 001 and morbius morbs out and morbs over to morb up

he can f--kin fly somehow but thsat makes no sense

is this like in Eureka Seven wit riding streams?

or sonic free riders?

soi morbiuo finds her f;'d up but not in the buitt like the brits like andhe smooches her and i think she goes to h-ll for b0ning outside of marriasge

mrion devolves and sees miulo taunting him and attacks and we get this cgi fight like spider man 3 with the ring but not as good

morbo gets sliced on da guy andis f;;d out and milo throws him throuyfghand off a building

rthey fight and craSJH ON DA GROUNDHE LOOKS KINDDA LIKENIGHTSCREAM IN BEAST MACHINES AS MILO SEZ ITS A GIFT NOT A CURSE LIKE SPOIDER MAN 001 THE GOOD VERSION

morb screams anda swaerm of bats comes ourt liker that spider mman comic wherespider man put his hands on the ground and clasaimeds to be calling the spiders to swarm the bad guys to make em leavce

isntthis like the crow city of angels where he used trhe bird attack on the black guy from law and ortder?

so the bats pin him somehow despite being smalll and lightr and morbs shanks him with the iron ox ide andthey turn bacxk from beadyt modes with morb looking like travolta in battlefield earth

so hows morb gonna clear his name?

theres ahole in the city's a55 andall these bvats swarm outwith morbuous in it andmaain chick is alive somehow andmorbs heads fior her

then credits to neion cr-p cuz this film dont finish, it just stops

the end

wait theres a credits scene with the REAL Batman Michael Keaton but was da vultiure in the disney spidder man and birdman in birdman

he appeared in an empty cell in a burst of light andis gonna be released

then another mid credits scene of morbuis driiving and stopping in npowehere and the vulture i thinkwabnts to work with him to fight spiuder man

yeh like this is getting a sequel

the end

for reak

but honestly, that wwasn'tr as bad as evetuyone said

its kinda stooopid and impossib;le and is mostly special ewffects

but so are most supeer hero movies

the musiuc is ok and thew actioing isnt bad

the effects are standard for a 2020s superhewro fim

whatevert everyopne hayted in this, i didnt see it

then again i liked bubsy and venom sp[ider man sererationb anxiety

i mean you want bad hero movies, try super mabn 004

or the amazing spider man 1

this was just a  normal super hero film everyone decided to cr-p on

I MEAN YEAH THERES GOOD super hero films like batman, batman returns, superman 001 and spider man 1 2 and 3

but this was ok, but nowhjere near as bad as i was lead to believe

i also didnt hate the emoji movie

am i so out of touch? or is it everyopne else who's wriong?

for Mortbuis 2 I want him top have dna dewcay and gradually tuirning into some kind of crab like creature but his woman who is also a vampite now works to find a cure by capturing monbkeyts from a zoo and devolving em, then using a  time speeder to advance time for em to see if the treatment would work, also some of the apoes devolve into millipede monsters and get loose and morbuis has to catch em with his woimsn, also its a 16 bit top down game like zombies ate my neighbors on segass genesis, snes, th16, atarui jaguar and gba, where you go around and areas and bust the various kinds of devolkved apoes.

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Metropolis Review

 Note: I sp[ell fuiuturistic

Metropicil

This is my review on Metropolis from the distabnt future year to jules verne of 1927 (100 years before Transformers Zone)

Its duirected by Fritz Lang who did Dr. Mabuse the Gambler\Woman in the Moon\The Testament of Dr. Mabuse\Fury\Scarlet Street

Its written by his wife who went literallly nazi,  but it was a digfferent time

its really influential to film and had an impact of good directors like george lucxas, steven speilburg, tim burton,  chris nolan and countless others

even Osamu Tezuka did a Metropolis manga and that inffluenced Go Nagvai to make violent p0rn09 for decades

Even Superman got from it by naming his city after it

its inspired by whewn Fritz went to America and saw big a55 buildings thart reacvhed the heavens anbd he was inspired

its said to take place in the disatant future year of 2017 i mean 2027, so around the time of Robotech

its public domain in some areas but noth others cuz copyright is a55

also h g welles hated tthis cuz he didn't get it

what are they making in those machiunes?

its the maCHINERY THAT RUNBS THE CITY YOU DEVOLUTIONIZED SUB HUMAN! now stop b0ning all  these people!

Joseph Goebbels liked it and wanted to make Fritz an honoRARY AYRIN, BUT WHEN fRItz told him hes jewish, he was told "WE decide who's Jewish"

maybe e might iddentify as gentile?

So the film has many bible and occult refs and i think thats were anime got it from

itwas a long hard filming and the actiors went through h-ll but made a grande filme

it stars alistar abel ffrom the ocean dub of dbz and freddy vs jasion, i mean  Alfred Abel from Dr. Mabuse the Gambler, Rudolf Klein-Rogge from Dr. Mabuse the Gambler\The Testament of Dr. Mabuse and he was the butt buddy of the chick wjho ditech him and married fritz lang but he stull did movies for em, Fritz Rasp from Diary of a Lost Girl\Woman in the Moon, Theodor Loos from The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, Heinrich Gotho from Dr. Mabuse the Gambler\Woman in the Moon\The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, Georg John from Dr. Mabuse, der Spieler\The Testament of Dr. Mabuse, and many not on sooviet wikipedia or that i never saw in anything

i saw this b4 but not the version this restored

many cuts of this had scenbes taken out but they found a mostlky complete copy and remastered it at  like 95%

so  after a quote saying the mediator between the hand and head is the heart, we get a cool title and images of ,machines pumping and grinding and turning

tthey are omn metric time and  its 10 and theres a shift change of new workers coming in and used ones goining ouit like drones w/o will or mind

they go deeop in the city underground like Beast Machines and  high above is the heavenly kingdom of men in a tall walled area and arenma ruinning tracvk anmd in soome kind of futuristic grecoroman thging like robotech with tirol

in 1 part iis people in neo ancient looking outfits and this guy wants to marryu the main guy to a chick and severalchicks are wanting to marry into his riuch a55 family

its in a weird cave like a dr suess book but then maimn guyt co,mes in and platys with em by a fountauin

btw this is like 3 hours with the frame rate fixzed so its not overcranked as things had differentr frame rates in the 20s so played at mnodertn speed looks fast cuz theyt do more frames per second

som main guy isas gonna smooch thing bimbo andfmajn chuick ciomes in from an elevator in this garden with slum kids and looks angelic with her hair and innocent face

she shows em the topsider peoiple and is this Yugioh 5Ds with Sattelite and Neo  Domino  City?

The rich guys wqant em  sernt back to the slums like its f--kin india wuith the class system that says you gotta stay with your own kinbd or get chiopped up

main guyt is in love with main chick and she goes back to h-llor the innewr city

he looks at his dr suess paradice of weird a55 plants and shapes and goes after her to the inner world where he seesa people working machines to run the city

like how all  modern cr-p is made by slavce kids in china for pennys a day between sodomy breaks

he sees a hige a55 machine with wortkers overload and blow people woith steam and when he's thrown back, he bumps his head and sees the machine as a daemon god people offer kids to in both biblwe AND MODERN TIMES, andf the working being fed to it

in the book he sees other gods and it goes deeper

so the wiorkets bring off the dead and he runs off ands goes outside to a cab AND IS TAKEn to the new babel tower acrosdds this impressive city of high roads andplanes going aROUND trhese massive buildinhgs and this enormus tower in the main town like mewga man x or castlevania or ninja gaiden

its like how in japan they are 5'1 so gaijin like Hulk Hogan come over and tower oveer em, so whej they make Manga, the Gaijin are 15 feet tall

and fritz lang never saw any towars like this so it seemed bigger to him

so main guy goes to see dad and there was a trhing of his mom's last wiish or dads moms last wish or w/e in the book to make huim a better man

son tells his trauma of the factoey needed to keepo things good and  dad asks his sertvant(possibly indenturewd or an employee) why he heard of the machine blowing friom his son and not his slave? and slave goes off to get his parts removed or w/e

so son spazzes out and when asked what he was looking for, he sez the main chicvk, then after more autism aattacks, sez dad is the metrop[ilos master who is da brain and not the pinky that shines light on em

we see the sci fi cityand its like robotech but he asks of the hands that made it and dad sez they are where they belong, in dda earth manning the systems

then both turn away from eachj other as a symbol of their divergence in views

son main guy asks if they reise against him and dad gets a messaghe and closes the curtains as slasve comes in saying theres a thing from the foreman

foreman sez they found 2 copies of wicked road planss and shows ddad and sez they were in pockets of menb hurt by the machine

dad asks why foreman brought da plans and not slave and slsave gets bummed knowing hes gonna lose another bine but ddad fires him 

slave goes off to suck a musket and son b--chees at dad for canning him cuz it means hes gonna have tyo woprk in the acid mines or w/e they call the inner factopries thatr run the city

son spazzes out and runs and dad walks through this stone building after him, wait he gopes tyo stop the salave from blowing his brains out, literallly, he hasd a derringer at his head

slave is bummed cuz working in the machine is punishment for those fired by the head the dad, and son asks slave to jopin him

sonmakkes something with a card and tellsd salave to wait for him at home cuz toinight son is going into da urth  with his bros/suisters

but dad has his son put on surveilance but son went into the machine place and its all steamy like d w griffiths birth of a nation

he sees a guy movbving these hands on a cclock like thing to hit the flashing lights and the guy f-ks out and sez "the machine must alwatys ACTIVATE

SO SON TAKES OVER and swaps lives with the worker  but not in a weird transformation life swap fetidsh thing

they swap clothes as dadsa men go around the city in cover and son tells him to go to slaves house and wait for him

btw this moviue is pretty long so this revioew is gonna be up there

worker goes to the cab annddrives ofgf as the watcher watches like its agents inb the matrix

also in the book, the worked has an effed time  in the human realm abnd devolves into lust or something

he sees a chick and iss interested and picjks up a leafket of an add for Yoshiwara thrown from above that somehow got in da car annd invites her i think as more leafletts falklk

he has a montage time ofparty abnd dances and various taces and gambling and i think b0ning aND DRUGS, WAIT I THINK THATS JUST HIS IMASGINATION

so ghe gets the driver togo to the club but in the deep of the city is a hgouse that sstood long as in the book, it was ptotected by occult thinbgs and killed all wgho tried to bust it

in it is the mad scientist dr rotwang, which sounds like a p0rn0 anbd he b0ned something he shouldnt've and caught saom,ething

a guy came to see him and opened curtains to see a head statue and wait, its dad

i think in the book, rotwang and dad were into the same woman but she chose dad and rotwang weent offf

dad sees the memorial of his wife h=l after the nordic goddess and where the wenglish word for hades/jigoku came from

she died pooping out the son and rotwang comes in all spastic and flailing his human hand at him

he's stiull bitter forlosing the girl, who's name might have been helen or helga but went like joe and jopseph

so rotwang sez  he lost his hand and now has a black metal one like luke skinlicker in flesh gordon in meaN LUKE SKYWALKER IN STAR WARS and has remade his womman like wiuth dr tenma and astyroboy

also in the 2020s they DO have black fake handds to replace those lost for amputees, so i guess it giot the future right

now wheres the hovercycles and power armor?

So Rotwang shoows him this room with an artitical human or jonzo ningen, with an upsidedown pentagram and its what c3p0 ripped off in star wars beffoe disney sodomized it

the robot walks and is this where asimo came from? or cuteyy Honey?

the legs and body remind me  bit of dark necrofear from yugioh

so rotwang sez he made a machinbe mAN and in 24 hours it wilkl me fin ished and fit right in with huamns

is this wjhere edward scissorhands got it from?

so as dad has the chick's son he gets a counterfeit versiuon of her

then he asks what dad is doing there and dad sez he needs rotwang's help to deal with the road plans from thr workers

in the machine, son finds the work plans on the floor and tries looking at em while working and a guy sez to him thinking its the guy he replaces, that SHE has called em at 2 after the next shift

so son works on for another hour and the pressure is building like when the machine blowed as numbers of metric tiume show on the machine he works on as a symbol of the job and time and his fight aginast it

he's been f--ked for 10 hours  and cal;ls out for dad to end his suffering like in The bible but the steam thing blows and its the next shift and another guy comes in

rotwanfg tells dad the road map things or plans or w/e are a map of the catacombs under the city like beast machines and dad wsez he wantsrotwanfg to show him but not tell the topsiders

so rotwang shows him in with hand heldd lights and its like in the 80s fist of the north star mvoie with the tunnles of subway under southern cross

so son comes into a hidden room and sees main chick in front of a bucn of crosses and candles with a bunch of caves drawn on the walls and she's givign a sermon

he falls to his knees and has his hands out like an angelic thing and behind a wall with a hole in its a55, rotwang and dsad watch the sermon

main chick tells the story of the tower of babel and we get a flashback of the bad guys making a city that would reach the stars but the top would parise the world and its maker

but i heard the real tower as a ziggurat which is used for daremon worsphip and they wanted to find a way to survive the next Noah's Flood

but the movie sez the designers were unable to make it so they hired gaijin who ignored the creators ideas

we see them with shaved heads and moving rocks like the ten commandments by cecil bve demille and it sez they understood the designers buyt not each other

which is non canon as the languages were the same back then

so brains and hand need a mediator, a heart and when someone asks the main chick maria, liek robotnik or from maju sensen, it shows main guy with a light on him

she sez a mediator will come and not to doubt, like its a savior, and they don't wqanna wait

dad hears this and is disturbed and rotwang watches on as all others leave and main gjy stays and appeals to maria who sees him as a mediator and he sez she called him and she smooches him and he smiles like he just j-zzed in his pants

dad wants rotwang to make the machine man into her image and use it to f with the people to sew discord

like the commies spreading lies about huamns to interfere in choosing leaders

rotwang sends dad back and sez he'df lose the main guy whos h=ls most prwcious possession

maria sez they'd meet in the cathedral tomorrow and they smooch more and he goes but rotwang looks in and i think she sees him

wait, he dont i mean she dont and he uses his meytsal hand tobust rock and drop oit and she looks but dont go and tries to leave but gets lost and in the dark a hand puts out her  cangle

she sees skulls which probably were real as this is after ww1 and a spot light looks around and evantually finds her and theres a guybehind it whgo looks kinda freaky

she runs and he chases and i think its rotwang and its got that german expressionist look like a horror film

she gets out of the catacombs and iis in a locked room and rotwang has her, then we see main guuy in a cathedral with the intertitles telling of a priest telling of the Book f Revealations with the wh-re of babylon and the beast

then cuts to rotwang and his robot as if saying "this is it"

after the sermon main guy looks aoround and finds statues of the reaper and the seven deadly sins

he tells em they never scared him b4 but now for Maria he must styay clean, like a guy after finding out j=rkin off is a sin and avoiding xxx sites

he leaves and looks at the hat of the guy he replaces and then it shows the guy at some club with a weird checkerboard pattern and when he gets in the cab, the agent grabs him and sez hes not in his work uniforme

he sees the note of what house to go from son to and they go there and only workewr goes in and asks slave where to find main guy and to go tyo the work city

later hes in the car and tells him hius place is the work mines, then makes a call in a car phone

wait, i think that was a flashback and so is main guy telling slave to show him the way to the work city cuz he can trust him and he'd give him the details when he got back

slave showed him to the elevator to h-ll and its 2 next to each other, 1 going uip 1 down and they hop on w/io iyt stopping

agfent who might ahve aids comes in and finds trhe workers hat and its bnnumbwer 118112 liek thx 118 whatever

sl;ave makes excuses and agent  shows his smoke case and the paper of his address in it as he lights up

he offers slave to go and not return and gives moiney but slave throws it off and tells him to gtfo until hes told its dads who sent him

slave tries to escape but aggent grabs his arms off the door knob and  sez he has 3 hours or agent comes for him

in this caligari looking room, maRIAS IS apprioacghed by rotwang as main guy walks outsidse

rotwang tells her he'd use her looks for the machinemman and outside the evil house, main gy walks by

rotwaNG GRABS HER AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY';RE B09NBING AND SHE TRUES TO ESCAPE AND GRABNS THE WINDOW BARS ON DA SKY LIGFHT

MAIN GUY HEARS AND pounds the door until it opens and slowly comes in fiorgetting his woman might be b0ned

a dfoor opens and he goes in and as he goes on the dfoods close anbd hes locked in

also theeres lights like neon or spiral and he finds a way down the spiral staircase likein the room and hasd a long hand thing in hisa hand to beat on guys

he uses it to keeop da door from closing as a way of showing past tech syrpazsing new sh-t but right as i type that, the door breaks the stick and closes

theres a cool pov shot of him finding this cloth and reaching for it and callintg maria like he's shadow the hedgehog and pulls on a chaun on the floor door like in the evil dead

so rotwang has maruia in a scantron thing anduses his tech like in frankenstrin from 1941 i mean 31 to copy her image

i thionk shes naked but covered by striops of metallike some kinda p0rn0

well, his name IS Rotwang!

also Digimon Season 1 Did this with Datamon scanning Sora to copy her to fight Etemon, who ruled the area

so he uses some floating crings on the roibot to turn it into her and uses lightenbing force from the spheres aronud it

therwes an x on the robots chest like  the egtyptian symbol for transformatiuon with the crossed arms like in Cutey Honey and she turns into Maria

so eventually the door opens and main guy goes up the stairs and meets the rotwang whpo sez she belongs to his dad 

then rotwang sent dad a letter saying how the robnot, bnt its never called a robot as asimov didnt maker dat word yet, i think, but we did have der golem and frankensteins monster, was the best thing ever and he'd see it controlling the people

dad has what lopoks like maria and son goes out from rotwangs plave and dad tells not maria wait, maria the blonde and a robot clone? us this shadow thwe hedgehog?

so he tells her to iice the real marEA AFTER DOING HER mission and she looks evil despite being the same actress, which shows good skill in acting

son walks in and sees them in each others arms and his braiun f--ks out and hge sees trippy cr-p

latter he wakes up IN BED and wait hes sleeping and dad had a dr check him out

when he wakes up he finds an invitation from dr Rotwang for a show by his desk and then we see a room with guys in monkey suits but not like furries do

oout of this tupperware thing comes the fake maria as the guys leer at her and she is in A SEMI SEE THROUGH cloth and dances with her hips like a belly dancer

main guy has a vision of the preist tells of the apocalypse and the 4 horsement and fake maria does a sexy dance that might be too much for the 20s and i think is wearing pasties as guys look at her with bloundless lust

in the real version they might all be j-rkin off at the same time and blasting goo on the floor for th servants to clean up

main guy recalls the priest telling of the wh-=re of bnabylon AND THE NOT MARIA COMES UP ON A MONSTER STATUE AND IT SAYS" 5 SENSES, 7 SINS 1 CREATURE" LIKE THE  good f--k can you f-p-kin die caps lock?! i otta tear the ket outta the board

so its like the rings in lord of the rings with the different numbers and in thisd vision, the reaper statue plays a bone flute and not a skin one and the sin statyues come ouit and become the people holding the tupperware that the not maria is on as the platform rises and the guys run and reach to b0ne her

he sees the reaper coming closer and swinging the scythe in the air lik how you sew the wind and reap the whirlwing and sees the city is at the abyss of death

end of part 1

part 2

so main guy is reading the book of Saint John and i think slave comes back in and they hug and he sez he escaperd from the agent by wearing a worker uniforme and for 10 days he watched the agent to counter the dads plan

agfent sez the woerkers still wait for the mediator and this lets em stay a step ahead and 

slave tells main guy when he got sick there was a new show at yoshiwara where  each night they see the not maria doing her lust dance and it turned people against each other as if corrupting themn

i think this is where that greta garbo film flesh and the devil came from

also the not maria is on a staircase and throws a piece of clothing and the men fight over it and 1 guy pulls a piece and caps the other guy

its said the lusty woman is marisa who was the high priestess to the underground workers but main guy dont buy it and knows hes the mediator who wont let her down

dad wants to let the wokrkers fight each other and not have the securtiy intgerviene and rotwang sez that he'd give them too much freedom and legitimise a crackdown on em and how her copy will end her plans for equality amnd peace and have greed rule

so in the meeting place not maria gives a speechj to the workers about how theres no mediator and they otta have a malcontentuprising like when some junkie bites it attacking a cop and the devolved torck and loot their town

i like how it shows the communists as the bad guys like with the monsters who wiped out the Czar's fam

also only rotwang commands the machinedragonmon and fake marea sez the workers deserve all the cr-p cuz they man the machines, which is like saying McDonalds otta me managed by the grease monkeys in the kitchen

she eggs em on by promising them the moon and leading them to their own doom, like all commies do

look at venezuala, they used to be 1st world, now they eat their pets

south africa used to have safety and freedomn, now its a cesspoole of violence and crime and aids and sin after maoh mandella took over and ran it into the ground

main guy is there and sez shes not maria and nowadays THEY would make nim look llike some kidna conspiracy nut for suggesdting what their eyes xclearly see is "right"

he sez the REAL maria wouldn't want violence or chaos but peace and harmony

then again, with all these retcons the companies do in reboots like turning characters queer, it might fly today

look at Darran Arranovsky's Noah where he wanted to wipe out the Human Race

or how they had bridget in Guilty Gear give up on his quest to prove his manliness and give in to faking being a chick, which was the opposite of his goal

or in the Cutey Honey Live Action Movie how she stopped trying to avenge her dad

or in Devilman Lady how Akira teamed up with Ryo

or in dragon ball super how freeza turned good and spared goku when he could kill him right then and there

Or sesame street where snuffleupagus raeped big bird with hsi long trunk as bid bird screamsed "Yuo are NOT real" znd snuffy said "I'm as real as yuo want me to be!"

the people recognize main guy as  the son of the big boss and try to waste him and he fights em off as hes zee ubermench and is superior to those sub humans

1 guy puills a shank and in the chaos one guy i think the worker he changed places with, gets shanked and 1 guy says to liberate the women and children from the city or workers like how walt disney wanted epcot to be a residential area for the worker to live

1 part is told in title cards how rotwang spazzd out at his idea of winning and maria escaped in the chaos control

so in the meeting place the shanked guy gets it as main guy tends toi him and in the city of workers is not maria on a stand as the people gather to go ape

she runs out and leads the masses of a55es to the elevators and they rise and get to the gates that protect the surface froim their kind

the devolved  workers attack the gates with hammers and thw women come with em to unite against the people who giuve them jobs

eventually the gates break and the malcontents spill out like a badly stitched surgical wound as the blood and pus AND SLOP AND ORGANS SPILL OUT worse than any scab can heal

not mariatell em to tear down society as its "oppressive" and the workers head for the care machine

the foreman seals the gates like a gutt being sewn shut and protects the machine from the malcopntents

he calls dad on a video phone like in pokemon or robotech and its filmed using a rear projector and weait, dad calls hum and sez to open the gates and wont listen to the fotremans reasons

like disney employees wanting to have The Wind in The Willows being abiout a toad wiith a skateboard and saying Rad Dude things(This is real and from 2003, so i guess poochie is canon)

is the core machine, or is it care machine, melts down the city of workers would be wuiped out so forteman opens the gates and the malcontent swarm inand he gets a big a55 wrench and tells em theu'd destory the underground city 

real maria gets to the elevator and the devolved swarm the foreman and overwhelm him as fake maria puts the machine on overload andd theres lightening from it

the machines overdo it and the water thing blows aND FIRE BLASTS AND THE CEILIUNG CAVES IN AS real maria comes iun abnd the elevators f-=k out andf busats

water p-sses outr from the floor and main guy and i think slave come closer

reral mareuia tries to pull the water lever and its rough as its long and hard to move butshe does it and waity, its the alarmn she pulled

the kids run out and gather andthe lever pulls off but she pulls it back to on mode

the buildings f--k out and water bursts froom em and the kids swarm the area and  reach for her like a non luusty version of fake maria and the guys

she pulls the other lever and sshe askjs for their rents as she cant do it herself but the rents are dancing in a ruing as the machine burns and they think they did good

the city llights start f--kin out and the city goes dark and  agent tells dad the son joined the workers and is in the underground

maiin guy and slkave come out of the busted building andf climb down the pipes but not like super mario and comes through the swamp of people to getto ral marua and they smooch as the citry floods like with Noah

sslave sez to get to the vvent shafts as the water tanks burst andi think this is where demiulle got his noags flood idea

or was that curtiz?

so thety go through the water and up stairs andthe doors are locked so slave and main guy climpb thhese metal things andget to the locked thing and its an iron bars thing

after trying to force it open he evenbtually gets it open as hes a tiopsidder and eats right and exercizes

like hulk hogan, say ur prayers, eat ur vegetables, be true to yourself, be a Real American!@ Huuu!

so ther kids get throuigh and the town undeer ground f--ks out abndmain guy uses his access to let the kids in the sons club

kinda like The Savior letting us into Paradise

so foreman is alive undder rthe f--ked out machines and dad wants his son but agent sez tomnmorrow people will call for their kidds and dad spazxzers out

foreman whistles as the people dance like ret-rds at a rennisance faire and gets em to liosten to his tirade of  how they have kidss to look after and not sacrifice to let them livea fun lifew AND HE tells em of the flood that f'd the cirty

ALSO to get revenge on the chick who drove em to it, even though they chose to follow hher and made their own bad move

in the club the fake maria ttells the people to watch the destruction of metropolis andf theyt come  out of it and it looks like a weird late 90s jrpg place aS foreman shifts the blame onto the fake marea aas if THEY have a common enemy, THEY an unite and blame that over realizing how f--ked they aare

so da workers come back and rotwang wakkers up from his devcolution and looks at the monument to the chick he wanted ti b0ne aand sez he'd bring her baack and wlks off in a kinda trance like the guy from the cabninet of dr caliogari

tthe workers paty comes to end mariia and they find the real one and shes confused that her peopple wanna end her and want to know their kids location before rushing in to lynch her

she runs and its like The Phantiom Of The Opera  aas thge rich guys cxo,me in with the fake maria and eventually both meet

in the church is Rotwang anfd real maria runs in it as foreman gets fake mareuia ands goes to burn her at the stake like THEY say they did thgose accused of witchcraft, but not in salem, thgat wasn;'t done there

like ice laND IS GREEN OR GREEN LAND HAS ICE OR IS LAN IS CALLEED THE RE LIGION OF PEACE OR CAPTAIN KIRK NEVER SAID BEAM ME UP SCOTTY

SO THEY tie he to a thing of wood things and somehowe torch itas main guy getrs there and trus to save her but they grab him and he graduallyt gets past em cuz hes a super elite

rotwang thinks shes his h-l and chases her up da church as the fake maeria burns and the crowd holds main guy back

maria goes up the church as rotwang comes onto her like batman by tim burton and she jumps and grabs a bell anbd itr ruings b4 rotwang gets her back and she runs

fake maria turns back to her robo forme like with janice iunb robotech ii tgher sentinels and main gut runs up the cchiurch to save the girl from the guy who had a thing with his mom who bit it like bat man by tim burton

on da roof he gets there and fights the rotwang which sounds like he might gcatch soimething  if it sprays him

the eople see the fight and dad is there and watching and the people come fior him but agent fights em off as he dont nitice as hes looking at his son

agent sezwait i thionk its sl;ave sez the kids are safe and the workers are overjouuyed

but main guys son isnt safe ui mean main guy son of dad and heb giot punched by ther metal hand

rotwang carruiews maria up the roof annd its like caligari and king kong and murders in the rue moregue andf dmaon guy fights him and they fall and main guy kicks rottwang off the roof where he falls and in the REAL versaion probably splsatters on the floor like butters the pig in south park or owen harte

also the kids of the people being iced as revenge by the devolved craZYY GUY is likebatman returns

Also the savior beating the evemy who commsands h-l and casting him off the church is like in Robocop with Alex senmding jones off, or The Bible witrh Jesus casting out ba roick i meran satan

so then its day i think cuz it looks lighter evben though they underhgground and dad and mareia and son come out of the church as dad ran in there

dad and foreman wwanna shake hands but cant bring themnsellves to do so

maria seZ w/o a heart the brain and hands arew detyached and son taslks dad up and holds hands between  dad and foreman and pulls em together and thetyshake hands

then text saying the mediator between the bbrain and hands muust be the heart

the end

what a masterpiece

its a milestone inb ciinema and influenced so much

some might say its thge 1st real sci fi film

yeahj there was a trip to the moon, butthis had the real themes and meaning and message and real art

its a bit horror and a lot like anime but you could say anime got it from this

good messages and themes of the dangers of following a false profit and devoolving into a lyunch mob can poput the innocent at risk, but also a thing on class and socvietry

it really predicted the furture andgot more riught that most would admit

the countless poors forced to work for the benefit of a siociety they think don't care for em until they snap after being lead astray by a group promising  paradice but leading top perdition

just like with unions and amazon

it shows how unions may be well intentioned, but giving up individuality for power lead to ruin, esp witrh that guy who guy shanked for protecting the main guy, like how if you go against da union, THEY end you

yes it has the rich being harsh, but Ghengis Khan was a harda55 but fair and is the mongo loid hero

fritz lang was a master of filmig and had suxch attention to ddetail

watching it restored wwas like watching it for the 1st time as so much was new

h g welles hated it cusz he didsnt GET it and made Thiungs To Come, which was not a bad film, but was nowhere near as goood as this

look how no one remembers Tings To Come but masny recall Metropolis

orginally it was to end with main guy and mmaria going to spaace but that was changed and reused in Women iin the Moon

Its like 3 hours or so depending on frames  per second and how much of the footage was saved, but it holds attention aand keeps you interested

it doesnm''t drag and has food flow and is one of those, right before sound, silent films that was when tthey really had it figured oiut

like 1994 sega gamnesis games

it don't feel like 3 hours and the filming and editing is great asnd the effect afe well done and its in proper fullscreen and grgeat b/w

unlike the Church hating welles, Lang was an athiest too but knew ffaith ewas needed to teach ethics

loks up langs wie.coworker Thea von Harbou, she cheeted on rudolf klklein rogge to b0ne fritz lang, supports killing babies, and was a naxzi, seems likee she'd be popular today

but unlike most feminists today, she made good stories

overall, this was a classic and holds up a like century later

yeah this review was long, but its a long movie and i had a lot to say

oh and cuz its got all this things froj The Bible, they otta put it on the History Channel

Well, in 2002 they airted 2001 a soace odyssey, and in 2013 they aired 2012

but those filmed s-cked

oh and somecuz of this film removed the plot of h-l and changed things sp the workers were wevil instead of nmislead

bnut thats non canon, like gokus dad being a scientist or tien saying his arm will grow back

although seeing the workers go ape and celebrate destroying a machine thsat did no wrong as their kids might be dead kinda shoaws they had issues

For Metropolis 2  I want it to be about the rebuilding of the city but the workers are too devolved to understand and eventually go mental and have a violent uprising where theryt try to kill the highewr ups, only for the dad to reveral he used dr Rotwang's tech to make a defence force ofd Machine Men wgho look like curvy bimbos to counter them anm, then a batt;le breaks out and the machine corps gotta fight off the the workers as they know if the machine corps wings, they will be replaced by em and they gotta fight to keep things inferior. Also its a 16 bit srpg gaME LIKE shining force on sega genesis, snes,tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the agent commanding the machine corps and command the troops around to fight the workers  and take on the leaders of them who rised throiugh the chaos to command them and promote their supremacty following the orders of fake maria as they saw she meant well but her ideas weren'tr properly implimented.