In A Valley Of Violence Review

Note: I spell like a valley girl

In A Valley Of Violence

This is my review on In A Valley Of Violence from the distant future year of 2016(the year o MazinSaga on Sega Genesis)

Its directed by Ti West who did nothing I saw

It stars openly beta Ethan Hawk from 1998 Great Expectations/2000 Hamlet/Training Day/2005 Assault on Precinct 13/2012 Total Recall/2016 The Magnificent Seven/Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets/Robot Chicken, John Travolta from 1976 Carrie/Saturday Night Fever/Grease/Look Who's Talking/Pulp Fiction/Face/Off/The Thin Red Line/The General's Daughter/Battlefield Earth/Austin Powers in Goldmember/2009 The Taking of Pelham 123/The Boy in the Plastic Bubble/The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story, Openly ukranian Taissa Farmiga from 

Justice League vs. Teen Titans/Teen Titans: The Judas Contract/2019 The Twilight Zone, James Ransone James Ransone from Law & Order, Karen Gillan from Oculus/Guardians of the Galaxy/Robot Chicken, Burn Gorman from The Dark Knight Rises/Pacific Rim/Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day/Pacific Rim Uprising/Turn: Washington's Spies, Toby Huss from 1999 The Mod Squad/2018 Halloween/Beavis and Butt-Head/Seinfeld/King of the Hill/The Angry Beavers/Home Movies/Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law/The Office/The Goode Family/The Cleveland Show/Key & Peele/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Larry Fessenden from 2000 Hamlet/Law & Order: Criminal Intent, and some guys not on back door, aids bag, beta mal, soy boy, frooty booty, gender offender, cany a55, soom bottom, Creator hate, banana crammer, queer as a deer wit a steer in its rear, hippie toner vegan peta tree kung u base on plants wipeda

ater logos w see a wasteland an a guy waving to a masked guy top come over

mask hero cow boy oh its hawkwreays his gun and the waver has a horse who needs to die like THEY do ut he ont wanna ice it a he nees to get to this sin town to spread the good word

aving guy i think a priest pulls a gun to carjack hawkes horse so haw whisyles ad his dog mauls the wavers arm and hawke sez he'd spare him or his bullets and water but not steal em as hes a killer not a thief

waver agrees and he dumps booze on the arm bite s waver swears at him an hawke sez hes going to soviet Mexico and wit rst the muel a55 horse will go up the hill

then title and creits

so he gives the og the last o is water and goes on o a town where he tells dog to bark i anythins up like animals udnerstan human

he goes to a saloon asking for a man called dollar bill like dollar bill Montgomery from real =========in talk on mad tv

he asks eyepatch bartener for a bowl of water for his dawg as a guy tries to sell guns

a cocky guy takes the new un an shows of asking if hes seen anyone that good with a gun and hawke kenshiroishly sez "be careful who you aim at"

cocky guy sez he dont got 30$ but they call this place valley of violence and gun seller books it wth cocky guy having the gun

cocy guy rags on hawke sayin he smells like a bum and has a scar til cocky guy grabs hawke and he sez "u talk too much" p-ssed offedly

cocky guy gets up and makes a scene to say he's gonna f hawke up

1 eyed bar keep sez this shot is on me if you gtfo

cocy guy sez no guns, its a fair fight but hawke dont come out so he sez "5$ to the winner"

when cocky guy goes after hawkes dog hawke come out an slugs him out with 1 punch

some guys aim at him but say its a fair fight and let him go

haewke goes to et cr-p from a store but the shopkeep is afraid of him so he on charge

hawke dont wanna not pay so he sez cocky guy owe him 5$ so get it from him and gets some cr-p

he's leavin as cocky guys coming to so he goes to a hotel where a chick comes own saying her sister otta be manning tings

he wants a bath and chick loves is dog/see haekes hand is bleeding an he sez it an accident as she tends it

shes amazed he punched cocky guy and loves it thenhawkes in a bath tub with dog in a bucket and she sez she saw it b4 ut isn't a wh=re as she owns a hotel and sees naked men often

dont get b0ned by em

she asks if hes a cowboy or gunfigher but he sez hes a passer through an she se her husband didnt stay

sister comes in b==chily over chick mary anne like giligans island serving hawke and acts b--chy over her having cocky guy and getting better dresses

chic tells off sister who runs out whining like a glass cannon who cant takke criticism

hawkes gonna leave but Travolta the marshall comes by with his wooden leg and sez cocky guy was his son/deputy and he dont want issues with it getting worse with more fights cuz the town s=cked like its the soviet califoria

Travolta sez he could arrest him but sees he's army from his horse/gun but they are solving Indian in kansas/okalmohamea which is far off

hawkes gonna go but Travolta sez wait, goes on a monologue then sez get out of town and dont come back or they wont find you

ohhh he's gonna eat him

so Travolta sez its a fare fight so tell son cocky guy not to get his irish up over it bbut his nose will heal like a crooked boot

so he goes out and at night is by a fire as the dog ret-trdedly spiles at him

he sees his chance and begins letting the dog b0ne his a55

jk really be sez its better in Mexico as no one understands you

then goes on about mary anne and how shes nice but young enuff to be his daughter

At night his dog hears things and gets shot but its cocky guy and his crew who gets him at gunpoint and hold him down

they behin sticking a rifle up his a55 and say "tell us the truth!!"

jk really he sez the dog is a chyenne dog an how they iced Humans and he don't no how much of w/e he wants to know

he begs for his dog as cocky guy sez hawke left his men behind and its time he learns wat its like to not save someone or something

he shanks the dog as hawke screams and they hold him as cocky guy pulls a knife

he cuts up the hawkes parts offscreen as he screams an cocky guy says "i leaned this from apache"

jk but apache did do that

so they thow him of a cliff an this is turning into john wicke

they we see a flashback to him as a union soldier fighing the red man in the dark an finding human bodies

he wakes up in the day an climbs up the rocky cliff to in a bird eating his dog/lover

he chases the bird away and feels for it

then cremates it and tattoos it into his arm

nah thats littlekuriboh

oh dog, you wre the only one i ever loved! and now ur dead! I'll make sure we'll always be together!(eats him)

nah thats violence jack

he tells dog he promise dog he was done killin but now is gonna go Rambo

thedog has a grave and a letter A like the scarlet letter or the do name abby

he comes across the waver guy and alleged priest who fires on him but misses as he walks up ada55edly like sengoku in cyber city oedo 808 as he faces the computer guy similating it the c=ck sucker

he slugs him out/takes his gun/muel as things have changed an he's gonna take on the sin city but not save em

hes sending em to h e double soviet Australia

he goes to mary annes field house and she wants to help ice em for icing a dog and wants to go with him out of this cesspoole

he sez im not here to save u/other people out of this town are f'd 2

he had a wife an daughter the same name as the dog wo got iced i think and he don't wanna deal with it

he sez hes got good/she is and needs a good man but she sez just cuz hes f'd don't mean she gotta pay or it and his fam miht wanna see him again

so he takes maryu annes horse and goes to town to find siter talking with guys who stink like gaijin

hes gonna ice em but pulls off when mry ann comes by

may anne whines about cr-p to sister and goes to add hot water to a guy who was with cocky guy taking out hawke

he sez shes 16 and pretty but her husband isn't cmming bac so he wants her

she trys to razor him but bath guy catches it and she leaves

hawke meets mryu anne out the room an gets the razor then goes in with bath guy and a cloth on his face

he gets him in a headlock with the blade on him an talks a bit then cuts his throat ofscreen

siter comorts a shoock up maru anne then sees hawle leave and finds the body in the tub

imagine if he skinned him and went out in it to get close to em?

also this is on Grit an has Tony Hawk suppliment adds so ethan hawk vs Tony Hawk, a Hawk off!

hawke leaves with blood on his hands literally and Travolta/the guysfind the body

Travolta b--ches at son for going after him and making things worse but son sez "it'll make us look weak

Travolta sez this guys an elite agent trained killer and beats on his son for being an f up

this devolved into a steven segal movie but not cr-p

trvolta sez theres no tiume to berry iso leave him in the tub to get gross an they get guns

Travolta sez to 1 guy 1 o u is gonna get shot so tis uy otta go as Travolta took 1 bullet and as a better chance wit a shotgun

sister chatters on as cocky guy sez stfu i need to think and when he gets whiny he tells her off

mary anne sez they iced his dog and sister has a thicc a55 but it might be fake

cocly guy sez he didnt tell her than and interrogates her at gunpoint if she's helping him

she sez no/he didn't want me/i would've and spit on him

he throws her down and stomps her then sez he needs those bullets for kevin coster or w/e

you could beat em dead, works for guys in prison

or b0ne em dead, works for gaijin

hawke gets a sniper at gunpoint its toby huss an sez shoot them or i do you

he sez he didn't wanna wrong hawke like I Spit On Your Grave

Travolta sens a guy out but tobey fires and guy falls as Travolta get his scared a55 out an to cover

tobey sez he can't shoot him an hawkesez he's got a daughter he wants to see again but we latr hear a gunhsot

Travolta sez he's on the roof so divide and conquer and sends fat guy who ell but hawe fires on Travolta

they talk saying he dont wanna ice marchal but marhall cant let him ice his candy a55 son

siter called ellen sez cocy guy was meant to guard em but he's sick of her and hes going out to prove he can do it cuz hes guarding em cuz a thinks he s=-cked

ellen sister sez shes pregnant from b0ning him b4 marriage and he's too p-ssed to give a sh-t an leaves em

fat guy sees toby's bdy w/o a face and is by the window which Travolta sez not to

fat guy has enuf of being called tubby and don't wanna put up with this sh-t an wants to be called Lawrence

Travolta sez "get away from the window" and tubby gets flushed to h-ll with a backshot

hawke sez i got to issue with u but come out unarmed and i won't shoot

after talk, tracolting comes out but not like south park as cocky son is confused

Travolta surreners and asks for mercy as it wont bring the dog bac

hawke sez he has no choice afttr son capped his dawg

soncomes out with 2 guns as travolta sez don't shoot and hawke quotes son when he iced his dog

they both fire and marshall gets filled with bullets by both then son asks "dad?" as Travolta goes to h-ll the final friday

son sez "he did it" and hawke got hit but escapes to a barn with his horse

cocky sonner goes to the barn saying "I now ur in here" as i guess he sensed his ki

a rope gets cocy sons neck and hawke jumps to string him up then hes on the ground an hawke beats on him "why'd u kill my dog?!"

they pull off as both panting sons gonna shank him but maru anne shoots him in the back sayin "I told u i could help u"

then son blows her head off and hawke stomps his head in a splatter

jk really priest waving guy comes by as siter finds her baby dads iced an maru anne gets hawke inside to tend to his wounds

the end

that was pretty good

nice acting and story

good filming on film so it looks good not digital

nice comedic elements and darkness

its sorta like The Crow where he avenges

and Unforgiven of a once dark man going back to the darkness

didn't expect it to go that way but it di it well

the hint of the mary anne hating cocy guy then being the one to end him was good foreshadowing

Travolta getting shredded was fun

i liked it

plus the dog got it, pretty bada55

For In A Valley Of Violence 2 I want him to be bitter from having to ice those guys and the chick opens his heart again to heal his damage. Also its an 8 bit game o NES, GB Master System, Game Gear, TG16, Atari Jaguar an I mean 7800 and Lynx=x where its like a mii game thing of helping him and doing mini games to heal his body and soul

Empire Of The Ants Review

Note: I spell like my key board is full of bugs

Empire Of The Ants

This Is My Review On Empire Of The Ants from the ditant fiture year to reddit's hero joseph stalin of 1977(30 years efore Transformers Season 4)

Its directd by Bert I. Gordon who di nothing i saw

it stars opebly monarchist human sacrifice Joan Collins from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat/1960s Batman/60s Star Trek, one of THEM Robert Lansing fron The Twilight Zone (1959–1964)/Star Trek/Law & Order, John David Carson from nothing Ore Samma Viewed, Albert Salmi from The Twilight Zone 60s/Escape from the Planet of the Apes/Caddyshack, Jacqueline Scott from 1963 The Twilight Zone/Firecreek/Planet of the Apes (TV Series), Pamela Susan Shoop from 1981 Halloween II, Robert Pine from Independence Day/Death Valley Days/Charlie's Angels/*Alf/Good Morning, Miss Bliss/Quantum Leap/California Dreams/Baywatch/The West Wing/2004 Helter Skelter/Joan of Arcadia/Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Office, Tom Fadden from It's a Wonderful Life/The Lawless Breed/Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1956, Harry Holcombe from The Andy Griffith Show/Leave It to Beaver/Bewitched/Birdman of Alcatraz, Irene Tedrow from Cheers for Miss Bishop/1953 Julius Caesar/1953 Dragnet/Leave It to Beaver/1959-1963 Dennis the Menace/1960 The Twilight Zone/The Andy Griffith/1966 The Addams Family/The Flying Nun/Little House on the Prairie/Charlie's Angels/Halloween Is Grinch Night/The Facts of Life, Marvin Miller from Blood on the Sun/Godzilla Raids Again/Forbidden Planet/1959 Sleeping Beauty/Panic in Year Zero!/Invasion of Astro-Monster/Gamera the Invincible/1970 MASH/Fantastic Planet/1984 Gremlins/1966 Batman, and some guys not on back dopor, ais bag, gender offender, candy a55, frooty booty, banana crammer, Sodom bottom, soy boy, beta male, wiener cleaner, Creator hater, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants wiipedia

I never saw this but its lightly based on an h g welles book and got a PG in 70s America but 15+ in soviet England

after logos of mgm an American Internaterianl we see ants as a narrator sez how bada55 ants are like arming or fungus or aphis or making cr-p an eing mart an using pheromones to communicate like Nami SOS an they can't be disobeyed

then a boat with toxic waste like Toxic Avener or TMNT an dumping it in te sea as crites an title

1 barrel came on shore by non soviet florida an leaks like an aids bags butt

1 guy brings liquor to his gf joan colons on a boat

she rags on the captain and a geeze couple comes

a young couple comes for a cruise like One Piece but Hetero and a blonde comes by giving a guy a 10$ bill or a 9.80 trip

overpaid

a lady comes by saying she on't wanna be required to buy property on the trip

they go off on a boat and 2 orange jumpsuit workers b--ch about the cr-ppy area an job how they're selling swamplan that can't be resold for 2 yars

the toic waste barrel has ants on it

on the oat joan colons whines about wanting to make a ale or somethin and the people talk

but i on't care about these candy a55 c=ck suckers! get to the bugs eating em!

1 guy sez a younger guy can't afford his lot

1 guy trys to be with the blone and a guy sez to male geez its cheap scotch

oan colons sez they won't force em to buy anything but blone is making out with a guy but wants to go an he won't let her as he wants to b0ne

she nees him in his man parts and he's Robert pine so i hope this was after he made Chris or he'd have broken spurm

she goes an he hears somethin an we see a bunha curcles of the same thing but real bugs have grainy vision and high focus w/o blurr

lay talks to captain about the lan greenland shores but he don't give a sh-t

she wants to make a goo investment and wants to know if this is it ut he don't wanna say anything

blone talks to guy who can';t afford it and hought he was a macho phony(holen caulfiel?) wo's brains fall out when he unzips his fly(thats weir anatomy. is he a yokai?)

he sez he's got a car, home, wife an kid but she likes him an he sez his 30 000 $ job went up, the car needs wor, the wife ditched him and kid dont talk to him

so this is them laying the pieces on the boar before the game

on the land they take a cart thing driven around

younger couple guy whines his womans dad dont like him

boan colonic sez theres a golf cource coming an theres birds around here

blone sez she told the guy i thin guy whos a in law dont lie him wait its her bf she dont wanna own ahome

1 guy fins a pipe n the groun is fake and tis thingis a scam

thn FIALLY the big a55 ans come ot an eat him as the woman runs then also gets eaten

on the tour someone sez the lawsons din't come back from the picnic area and she was thinking of doing it too

they hear ants an joanie eats chachi sez its pumping equipment but is told there is gon/get da f out

they come across workers bodies an geezer sez he takes the tours oten but this is new

blonde an ex wife guylook or the lawsons who got eated and come across he ants then run

theysee ants heading for a boat so captain wms to he oat as he can swm faster than 14 foot ants can run

he makes it, but ants get on so he fights em then his homie gets iced and he lare guns the uel o burn the boat

effin dumba55!!

at night they are by a fire they gotta keep going to keep em away

so in the day it rains and the fires out so joaner goes in the houe ut theres an ant an they run

so the roup runs through the rainy woods and splits up

1 woman falls an is too stoopid to get up so he sits there screaming as her bf watches the ants come an eventually runs

joan of aids get her shirt caught so a guy helps her but the ants get him and she runs

sosurvivors come to a boat an 1sez they lost the geezers so they tae a boat in the river

theres ants around em on the river side  an the geezers are in a outhouse or something

they come out to see ants all over an stan there waiting to be eaten alive when the door is right next to em!

in the oat they whine an lady got fired b4 this

they go on an go left a ref to the left hand path leading to ruin and find a branch in the river way

then ants rop down from the air and attack as they fiht em anpaddle back

after saying sorry an 1 guy mouthin off, the ants attac an they fall in the water

1 guy got eaten an they walk on land in a tree woods

won't hey nee a lot of food to survive at that size?

an have tough exoskeletons? probably bulletoproof

joan hole as enough and goes her own way, agai, uns into an ant, again, ad runs back, again

1 guy sez the ants can em anytime they want ut dont and dont want em to go crtain ways

they see they're being heed like that ep of Beast Machines

they come to see red an black ats giant fighting a race war as ifferent colors cant co exist

they go on to find a farm with humans an tell em o the ants but farmer sez he' call the sherrif

sherri drives em saying he nver expected giant ants but he' take care of em an tell the sugar refinery

like a spice refinery in Dune on Genesis?

in town a guys gonna call a friend in the state department

blonde sez the farm couple said don't let em bring you to the sugar refinery an in the diner is a businessman who sez his refinery is running full blast

business jump sez they're from the tour but blone asks how'd you know?

wife car guy sez the lines are down rom the storm but hears the buinsrs hump guy got his long itance call

they hear a sound but its a kid on a big wheel

the guys try to rent a car but have no local address an she has to follow the rules

they see the sherruf men going in the arion ater claimin they were going downruve to find ants

the guys hotwire a car an the gang rives out but fins road flares an a floria map

they come to a blockaid an rive around but more cop cars come an ram em into the river

the cops get em on a fence but captian i think slugs out a cop an get bet out as the others escape

blonde an wife guy o through sugar cane an sugar doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo oh honey honey, doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo you are my can dy girl

at the sugar refinrty is a pyramid an peple in cages

then a sound blows and ants crawl in with 1 climbing the sky

tey eed on sugar an blonde/wife guy are caught by ants

the oan an riens see the queen affecting people with pheromones with a blast of smoke in a chambr an see the ants are the only one to tae care of them in eshange of their reedom

lie a union

the farm couple is min wipe and sherriff has em go to the ront of the like

joan gets gassed an sees she otta tae care of an help the masters

captain oes in an plsl a road flare an the queen wigs out

no loner is he subservient to the regent

the ants attac people anpeople spazz out 

wife guy rives this gasoline truck after unscrewing its lids and joan walks into the booth the guy busted outta as the sherrif shoots the queen

queen wacks joan and wife guy drives the leaking gasilone aroundthen umps out as it rams into the pyramid, an occult sybmol about how THEY control us

so the place blows an the ants burn and oan Crawford is in h-ll

the good guys get to a boat and drive off in the river to face chimps or skunk apes or w/e

blonde an wife guy survived

stunts: hank h00ker? mike h00ker? oy vey!

the end

that was pretty good

nice giant animal monster movie

good effects

nice twists

the acting worked

didn't expect the mind control

in the h g welles story its about regular ants that gained intelligence and too over a brazil town

also no mind control

tha was used in Phase IV o I guess they wanted big ants like THEM

the start with the people chatting was a bit bland but not awful and it got better as it went on

for giant ants we need a giant spider!

I liked it and it came out in 1977, the same year as star wars 004

For Empire Of The Ants 2 I want some people to wanna bring back the ant rule an use cloning on the non cooked ants to put the dna in a new queen and mae the ant race return. But the skunk apes in florida resist an its a civil war between humans, ants/human traitors and skunk apes. Also its a 16 it Srpg like Shining Force on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atai aguar and GBA where you choose a side an take out the other 2

An Awful Moment Review

Note: My keybopard is awful

An Awful Moment

This is my review on An Awful Moment rom the ditant future year to Dion the frien of Orion Pax of 1908(130 years before the third robotech war)

Its directe by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Gibson Goddess/The Unchanging Sea/The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch/The Cricket On The Hearth/Under Burning Sk ies/A Beast At Bay/The Battle At Elderbush Gulch/The Mothering Heart/The Telephone Girl And The Lady/The Burglar's Dilemma/A Smoked Husband/The Zulu's Heart/Balked At The Altar/The Black Viper/Father Gets In The Game/The Adventures Of Dollie/A Calamitous Elopement/Deceived Slumming Party/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar/The Fatal Hour/The Song Of The Shirt/Money Mad.

It stars George Gebhardt from Romance of a Jewess/A Smoked Husband/The Zulu's Heart/Balked At The Altar/Father Gets In The Game/A Calamitous Elopement/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar/The Fatal Hour/The Song Of The Shirt/Money Mad, Marion Leonard(Anatole's Ancestor?) from The Gibson Goddess, Harry Solter from Romance of a Jewess/A Smoked Husband/Balked At The Altar/A Calamitous Elopement/The Song Of The Shirt/Money Mad, Florence Lawrence from Romance of a Jewess/The Zulu's Heart/Father Gets In The Game/A Calamitous Elopement/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar/The Song Of The Shirt/Money Mad, Gladys Egan from Romance of a Jewess/A Corner in Wheat/The Unchanging Sea/The Zulu's Heart, Linda Arvidson aka mrs Griffith from The Unchanging Sea/A Smoked Husband/Balked At The Altar/Father Gets In The Game/The Adventures Of Dollie/Deceived Slumming Party/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar, Florence Barker from nothing I saw, Dorothy Bernard from The Goddess of Sagebrush Gulch/The House of Darkness, Kate Bruce from The Tender Hearted Boy(Which I never saw but is a kind heart softening title)True Heart Susie/Way Down East/The House Of Darkness/The Unchanging Sea/The Battle At Elderbush Gulch/The Mothering Heart/The Telephone Girl And The Lady/Betrayed By A Handprint, Charles Gorman from Under Burning Skies/The Goddess of Sagebrush Gulch/Father Gets In The Game, Gertrude Robinson from The Gibson Goddess/Judith of Bethulia, Mack Sennett from a lot and Dorothy West from nothing I saw.

I never saw this but its Griffith and I wanna do a quick review

after title we see a court room and these gypsys are wigging out

a guy i taken aay an a woman spazzing her arms is too

he follows a guy bac to his place and does arm movements like an italiano

she climbs the ie of a building and gets in the balcony with snow on it

she opens the window and gets in with the man an his fam of a wife an happy daughter who he gets along with

later he falls asleep in his chair an gets up

latr hes in the same room ad his woman comes an is nice to him

he gets a a blanket or somthing and reads more but goes to another room

as he goes by the gypsy gets in an he don't now an she sneaks around like a silent movie villain

she hides as the man an wife come by an go in another room

they start violently b0ning as he sez the gypsy's stink and she plans to chop him up

jk thats the soviet south korea film parasite about those evil poors

he hets a suit out and ses staning behind him not trying to hide and when she sees him they fight

oh an she pulls a knife from her belt, possible from his place

he overpowers her and ties her up but his aighyter comes in

we see him getting stuf and the wife is wrapping preents for chritmas but the gypy gets in an gets a hotgun an puts it down

then goes to he wife a does something then brins her to a chair an ties her up

i think she used drugs or gypsy magic to stun her

she gets the gun an loads it and aims it at the wie then rigs it up on the table at her

then sprnkles cr-p on her and poses dramatically an ties the trigger to the gun to the door knob

the aughter in the next bd wakes up and gets a teddy bear after the gypsy goes offscreen an finds her tie up

she goes to the oor then it jumps ahead and dad is in an the rope is off

he knocks away the gu an frees his wife then the gypsy's brought in by the cops who take her away to get executed

dad an wife have a good Christmas with the daughter 

the end

that was petty good

shows the danger of gypsys and criminals

there's good acting for the 1900s

its a bit jumpy and some parts might've been lost but i got te git o it

not sure how she got out, probaby gypsy magic

nowadays the gypsy woul be the hero fighting the evil human

i like it and its only like a few mins like a beyon belief fact or fiction segment

Griffith did well

For An Awful Moment 2 I want the gypsy to be in prison and use gypsy magic an tricks to starts a gang and min control the lesser evoved inmates to try a prison break for revenge, but the prison guards are blessed by a prison priest who beat em free. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, Atari aguar an gba where you play as a guard or 2 an beat the prisonsers an the gypsy goes demon in the final boss.

Money Mad Review

Noye: I otta but a new eybord

Money Mad

This is my review on Money Mad rom the distant iture year to Kotaro Fuma of 1908(90 years before the global civil war in Robotech)

Its directed by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Gibson Goddess/The Unchanging Sea/The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch/The Cricket On The Hearth/Under Burning Sk ies/A Beast At Bay/The Battle At Elderbush Gulch/The Mothering Heart/The Telephone Girl And The Lady/The Burglar's Dilemma/A Smoked Husband/The Zulu's Heart/Balked At The Altar/The Black Viper/Father Gets In The Game/The Adventures Of Dollie/A Calamitous Elopement/Deceived Slumming Party/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar/The Fatal Hour/The Song Of The Shirt.

It stars Charles Inslee from The Zulu's Heart/Father Gets in the Game/The Adventures Of Dollie/Deceived Slumming Party/Where The Breakers Roar,George Gebhardt from Romance of a Jewess/A Smoked Husband/The Zulu's Heart/Balked At The Altar/Father Gets In The Game/A Calamitous Elopement/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar/-The Fatal Hour/The Song Of The Shirt, Arthur V. Johnson from Romance of a Jewess/A Smoked Husband/The Zulu's Heart/The Black Viper/Where The Breakers Roar/The Song Of The Shirt, Florence Lawrence from Romance of a Jewess/The Zulu's Heart/Father Gets In The Game/A Calamitous Elopement/Betrayed By A Handprint/Where The Breakers Roar/The Song Of The Shirt, Jeanie MacPherson from The Fatal Hour, Mack Sennett rom a lot of things an Harry Solter from Romance of a Jewess/A Smoked Husband/Balked At The Altar/A Calamitous Elopement/The Song Of The Shirt.

I never saw this butits based on the Jack London story Just Meat I never read

after te logo an title we see a begger by a well made city with sorta greekish style builings and had rails whuch was probably rom the millennial reign

some people give coins and he strangles 1 an takes smething then runs off

she gets better rom beig ead or w/e an gets up then runs

the begger hies in an underground area like THEY covered up with the tunnels everywere

he counts his money bills bucks ough and hides it in a bagie

he goes out and at a station with a CHECKERBOARD FLOOR like in emon places, the egger gives money and gets somethin then leaves

2 guys follow him in an ally area and tay outta sight

man the begger is ugly, he's gpt a big noe and weird face, like a demon

he gets home and the 2 guys with moustaches lie p0rn0 actors come after him to probably b0ne him dead

in his lair the begger ets i thin coins or jewels he got and puts em with the rest in his white sack not or gon=ds

he tucks his sack into his coat and takes it out then puts it back and goes to sleep with it

te 2 moustache guys in clear dayliht but they thought no one woul tell in b/w, break in and take his sack

he gets up and fights em but 1 hols hm own and the other strangles him

on't worry, he's gonna be ok, he just needs some rest, there's a hospital planet nearby, I can see his parachutes, the clif ha a river by it, he's a robot

so they ice a guy like the maruta and soviets did and hate better lands or doing less an o to a womans plac ewho looks lie a gypsy

they give her the sack and she leaves ten take out another sack and its 2 sacks wit cr-p in em

they go through it and 1 seems ungood with his share as the othe lols

they get on the floor to rest an the non ungood one has a gun and the ungood one has a knife

they attack and shoot/stab each other an overdramatically spazz out

gypsy coms bac and finds em dead but they ust nee some rest, there's a hospital planet near by

she starts laughing ementedly even though its silent an starts pulling her clothes an hair, then begins eating the boies in a devolved frenzy

k really she takes the bags off their bodies and dumps the money out

ut the place somehow caught fire and k i rewound it an aw she knockd over a lamp and it toerched the place

he tries stomping it out and the room fills with smoe, probably wackin her

the end

that as pretty good

nice chase scene

good acting for 1900s

didn't expect the story to go there

didn't expect everyone to bite it

its lie broken blossoms but about greed

sorta how Erich Von Stroheim did Green in 1924

shows how dangerous poors are

good little film

For Money Mad 2 i want the gypsy woman to have survived but she's smoked an her skin is darkneded, and people thin she's another race an try to end her bein in the White part of ton, so she has to escape to the ghetto. Also its an 8 but platorm game on sega master syster, game gear, nes, game boy, tg 16, Atari 7800 and lynx where you play a her and otta get out of the ara an avoi people trying to end you.

The Seven Year Itch Review

Note: My kyboar is f;'d, 7 yars 'd

The Seven Year Itch

This is my review on The Seven Year Itch rom the distant futire ywar to Patton after THEY did him of 1955(80 years before Tranformers Victory)

Its directal by Billy Wilder who id Five Graves to Cairo/Double Indemnity/Sunset Boulevard/Ace in the Hole/Some Like It Hot/The Apartment/Irma la Douce/Kiss Me, Stupid/Avanti! 

It stars tragic soul Marilyn Monroe who the keneuies wacked/b0ned from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/River of No Return/1959 Some Like It Hot/1961 The Misfits, Tom Ewel from Adam's Rib/1974 The Great Gatsby condferate descenant an child sacrificing Evelyn Keyes wo kept geting f'd from Gone with the Wind/1956 Around the World in 80 Days/A Return to Salem's Lot, cult member Sonny Tufts from Town Tamer, Robert Strauss from The Man with the Golden Arm/Li'l Abner! 1959/The Monkees, openly Austria Hungarian Oscar Homolka rom Rhodes of Africa/1957 A Farewell to Arms/Mr. Sardonicus/Billion Dollar Brain, Marguerite Chapman from 1948: Coroner Creek, Donald MacBride from noting i saw, Victor Moore from nothin i saw, Roxanne from nothing I saw, Carolyn Jones from Road to Bali/The War of the Worlds/Three Hours to Kill/1956 Invasion of the Body Snatchers/The Man Who Knew Too Much/1962 How the West Was Won/1953–1955 Dragnet/1964–1966 The Addams Family/1966–1967 Batman, Tom Nolan from Kiss Me, Stupid, Doro Merande from Our Town 1940/The Snake Pit/The Man with the Golden Arm/Kiss Me, Stupid/The Twilight Zone 1963, Kathleen Freeman from Cry Danger/Singin' in the Rain/Support Your Local Sheriff!/Myra Breckinridge/The Blues Brothers/1987 Dragnet/Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland/Gremlins 2: The New Batch/FernGully: The Last Rainforest/Hocus Pocus/Naked Gun 33+1⁄3: The Final Insult/1997 Hercules/Blues Brothers 2000/Baby Geniuses/Joe Dirt/Shrek/Father Knows Best/The Beverly Hillbillies/The Dick Van Dyke Show/1967 Dragnet/Mama's Family/The Facts of Life/Growing Pains/The Hogan Family/DuckTales/Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers/Doogie Howser, M.D./Party of Five/Married... with Children/The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest/Duckman/Cow and Chicken/Home Improvement/Rugrats/Detention/Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The TV Show/Batman Beyond/As Told by Ginger, an Duke Fishman rom  Support Your Local Sheriff!/The Manchurian Candidate/One-Eyed Jacks

I based on a play by George Axelrod who did stories of men selling sous to the devil and for How to Murder Your Wife

ater credits an title toa panel board opening to show names, we hear of manhattan red men ending wives/kis off and working in the ummer

then sez500 years later things continue and this guy sens his wife/soon of so he can work as women have it easy

some chic walks by and men are attrite to her butmai guy returns and sez he wnot smoke or go after dames

he works for publishing an avertizing an resists temptation to b0ne this chick or get tattoos

a dame talks of a nudist colony an he's probably got a b0ner

at home he talks to himselfas his wife would and sez he shot the boss/b0ned a chic and torched the place

he has a coke and reads ingrediants thinin "why's dr's say this is better that scotch"?

cuz alcohol is poison that damages the body

after slipping on his little aids bag kids rollerskate, marylin comes to the door anneeds to go upstairs cuz shes a bimbo

he goes to have a smoke but stops and tries to get to work on a bruibaer book for tomorrow

Brubaker? like the prison movie?

he starts reading then stops to whine about howhes married for 7 years an disnt cheet but could've

he sees her in his mind an talks to imaginary her as she lols an he sez e coulnve b0ned the secretary

then a phantasy of her saying shes in love with him, taes o the ner goggles and coat and makes out but he turns her down

wife sezhis coat got torn by maruta launry and he's imagining it

he sez when he had his appendix out the night shift nurse with curly red hair wanted him but as she mae out with him he pulle the alarm and had her pulled away by staff

then sez when wife was playing cars with friens, he went night swimming with a blone anwhen main out on the beach even sez "rom here to eternity"

wife imaginayion sez he imagines a lot and he goes back to reading and woners why she calle an thins she ages but he dont

he claims to look the same at 28 which is probably from smoking al day and rotting his skin out like Kramer

wife calls and its the real one and he sez stay away from a guy there

he is gonna get lemon or worshchester sauce buta potte plant falls whee he was

he yells butsees its marylin wearing not much but well placed plants over her b00bs

she's invited or a rink and she eeps undies in the ice box which meas shes naked like a go nagai character

also this is 60s color and wiecreen

he has a smoke and a drink then talks to himself of being married but puts on music

he imagines binga pianist andplaying well as marylin comes inleather or dark cloth and loves it then makes out

the doorbell rings and a devolved new yorker comes by to get the rugs but he wants new yorer to come back later

he can't as he's taing the kids tothe train station and is b0ning a woman later with a fat poodle, i assume the og oins in

he sens the yer norket out thinking the town devolves people an when the bel rings again, he slips on the other roller skate

she comes in saying how se could've kille him with the pot and he sez he lives alone and the skate is his and adjustable

they talk of booze and he makes her a martini an she drinks alot

the apartment has stairs to nowhere as the owner turned the place to 2 apartments and she gets the up part

she trys air conditioning and its her 1st summer in soviet new York and isn't for heat

once she slept in the tub up to her neck in cold water and plugge the faucets utt with a toe that got stuck and needed to call a plumber

isn't there some OTHER way to pay him?

they talk of how she got kiced out of a place for doing an "art model" picture wich i thin was p0rno an she was with sand/wood

shes now an actress who models toothpaste to poison people with fouritede

she talks of sarah burnheart who se oes better than and he sez he's almos 39 which is me in 2026 and he looks ar wore than Ore Samma

she goes for champaign and chops and looks through a book but wife calls an he sez hes not drinking

mary linn comes by and has him do her straps but as he does the champaign his inger gets caught in the bottles a55 and as she bulls him oit, sees he's gotta ring

he ez he's married but his woman is out and gets him free and they rink

she don't wana marry but likes being with marrid men as they won't marry her

she's b0ning married men? good thing THEY didn't make the AIS yet

they listen to music and enoy the she fins he has the photobook of her modeling

nude modeling?! What are you? Sailor Venus?

she sez they photographed it at sun up so guys wont see

he plays piano and is chopstics and she likes it an joins in and has fun

he goes in to ill her ut they fall over and he regrets being seduced an has her go

he looks in the mirror saying one ay he'd loo in and see the portrait of dorien gray then sees his ace f'd an closes the mirror/umps on the bed

the net day he goes to work an wants 2 weks off but boss sez they're busy now anseems kina frooty despite claiming to have a wife

boss offers a 25ent print of diroan gre who's got sin inside and hegets worried

he rabs the boss's razor he's shaving with an cuts his belly open and boses guts spill ot lie spaghetti and sauce

k really he reads the Brubaker book and hears o the 7 year itch ike Hedwig an the anry itch were after 7 years, men marrieget into other chicks

he meets dr Brubaker who ont like the changes to his boo now calle secks an violence and the cover has the maiac going after young chicks instead of older miIfs like Chichi in DBZ or Bulma's Mom

he gets help rom brubaer for his 7 year inch andhow he tried b0ning marylin

he shows the moeling photo of her and he's worried of her telling anyone he tried b0ning her and this is very Hollywood with a guy trying to go after a chic woc wit out conent

he sez hed ice her if she tells but brukbarn sez murer is hard to commit(Ulness you're one of THEM)

weird how THEY did that to her

he imagines her telling everyone and going on air to tel an wor getting out an his son in a huck finn area watching a tv on a picnic tble with perfect reception

he calls wife to tell his wife b4 marulon tells but fins shes on a hayrde with guys

he thinks its ok an goes home in a good mood then has a shower and we dont see his footlong flopping by his shins

in there he worries of his woman with tom mckenzoe and imagines his woman and tom whos an alpha male

ge gets out of the soer and might e holding his long uncut thing as its not by his ankles as he runs and calls marylin as he thinks wies b0ning him

they go to see the creature rom the black lagoon and she feels for the creatuire as shes into fish people

they go by an air vent and it blows her dress as subways go by

she sez about the toothpaste bein kissin fresh and they kiss an o bac to his place where its hot like streets are hot so hot like California crisis

hes got AC in it and not Anderson cooper or aeiel castro and she sits with feet by it for foot fetish guys

he talks to hmslef of her trying to ice him with a tomato plant outta live an shes thiking of returning a fan

he comes in and she wants to sleep here as its too hot in hers an she'd use a chair

he worries of her being seen leaving his place and the new yorker comes by at 1 30 in the am after b0ning the poodle and wants the rugs

he sees the marylons leg and thnks tey're b0ning but he sez her tomato plant fell

he dont even know her name like in seifeld and new yorker leaves

he gets a paddle for his son and uses newspapers for wrapping

later maruin comes down ater removing the nails and can come down the stairs

later its ay and he wakes up on the couch and is gonna use the bathroom to shower but she might be in it or something

he woners how she makes money an suspects shes blac male ing guys an miht be at the bank with new yorker

shes in the shower ad he thins someone miht come in an thin the wrong thing

then imagiens is woman coming in saying new yorker was a private eye watching him and shes got a gun on him

he explains but she's gona cap him or going against her and if tis was  guy oing tat to a gil he' be seen as not funny to etas

she empties a gun into him saying "they'll ive me a medal" an he want a smoke but she sez the dr sez smokings bad

it was a phantasy and he thins he got shot and she thins hes having a dream from the couch

maryoc se i she saw her man with a woman she' shoot him an he sez his wife trusts him an cares an got hi to stop smoking

he thins pretty girls dont want him but she sez se's not into alpha males a manly bada55 guys like lexi luxe liking betas an they kiss

tom coms by to get the paddle for his sons kayak but main guy whins about his woman wanting a ivorce an rambles til he slugs out tom for being better than him

the new yorker p00dle b0ning guy carrys Toms boy out an main guy goes to get his son the paddle as mrylin isses him

main guy sed the blone in the itche was marlyon monto  and tom thought he was runk

main guy goes but forgot hs shoes adn leaves work to not be done for 2 weeks

the end

that was pretty good

it looks good with nice color an fioming

he acting is good

nice music

an i like how he never actually b0nes her

but one of THEM billy wiler regrets how he din;t have a man cheetin on his wife cuz of the Hayes Code keeping tings Moral

him and the writer are alike, seeking to corrupt the people, those rat like demons

but the movie is well mae and the guy having an imaginary issue of worry might be seen as some kind of anxiety or parenoia which nowadays woul e given drugs with side effects to devolve him and ruin his spurm

i liked it and much o the humor is his over reacting an being a nut

for The Seven Year Itch 2 i want it to be about him oing to see his son an the crazy misadventures like offending the klan and trying to avoid getting lynched or dealin with asquatch or a demon circus trying to sacrifice him an in the end he gets his son the pale and dont even mention all the weird cr-p he faced. also its an 8 bit game on nes, game boy, sega master system, gam gear, tg16, Atari 7800 and lynx where you o a bunch of levels with him getting to the end as a platformer and dealing with all the cr-p he did in the movie.

An Amish Sin Review

 Note: I spell el amishoop

An Amish Sin

his is my review on An Amish Sin from the istant uture year to bill Capizzi o 2002(the year o robotech ii the senitneils)

Its directed by Michael Nankin who did Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles/TURN: Washington's Spies

it stars no one i know of an aint on candy a55 ewiepiedea

after title and creits we hear a guy singing to a girl an her whining of pain

then some amishmen in a barn with the girl grown uppleging to follow the Creator and getting baptized

they a male youth with a photo an her saying its a sin an tey joke a bit

lter she puts fower rom i thin clover in her shirt and they have a dinner outside an beardo helps a kid with a splinter in the finger

in a kitchen mom helps main cic Rachel like ninja gaiden or freiends an she's got issues with stuff

later in the barn Rachel stays in as their uncle comes by

she comes out an uncle got her a present as he missed her baptism an had a shop to run

in church barn a guy confesses he was inappropriate with a aughters friend a few times

i think he means b0ning

now i watched amish mafia and breaking amish so i hear they b0ne animals

the priest sez he's orgiven an the little girl he id someting with forives him too and he's put on proving for 6 weeks

so if he did b0ne her and theres a lot of that goin on, its like the north of canada how on aptn i heard someone in an interview say they all ot mo les tid

so some guys talk of i thin Rachel an she does prayer saying she cant take it

at night she helps mom whos spazzing a bit an wants to tal of something an hears a guy is upstairs putting someone to sleep

i assume like soviet Canada how they execute the cripples

she goes up an uncles singin an comes out the room with a lamp saying she can count on him

he sez she temps him and is evil an broken an gross an he can save her

is this how that brain crippled Irishman id things before he went prez in 21?

we see someone by a tree at night but i wasn't paying attention

in te barn Rachel asks a little girl is uncle trie anuthing but is told he told a story of a bad girl who was punished forever

in church she is concerne of being wicked an mom se tough it out candya55

at igt she goes out to the barn to getta lampshe let a uncle bad touch is there

this is how p0rn0s start

he wants to collect eggs, an i hope not fetrtolize em

she gets some anhe tells er what to do cuz i guess she's not smart enuff to igure it out

he sez 1's cracke an crushes it in i han then smears it on her an i thin b0nes her

insie she's cryingan beardo asks whats up an she sez he ripped her dress and did stuf to her

he's p-ssed but controls himself better than homies do an she limps in and he whips her sayng "What did you do?!"

later its ay an she wants to run away butthe youth sez thins cost money an she'd be shunne

the youth an her female homie agree to help her and she oes in to get money

mom sends he to the store or food an there a woman sez she gotgood marks in bi e class an she otta join a thing

at home she heps the girl who had jeweley wich is a sin and she forgot an sez ont let em push you around

at night she sees i thin her faemle friend crying outsie an later is taen to a place for girls who go wrong

is this uvie for amish?

they wana help em be goo wives an mothers an correct their way

they gotta be accompanied with someone to leave an the rooms lock at 7pm

they recite the bible of wives following the husbands an are informe The Creator know what they are up to

also they're told they are gross an gotta avoid sin

but this tries to mae it look bad

look at toay with 5kanks like arianna grande or miley cyruis doing p0rn0 music vids, is that better?

so 1 teen sez she i stuff with a cousin an blame him

later a hag sez what wou The Creator say an Rachel sez "why can't you be good?"

after nearly cutting herself like dat degrassi 5kank, bearo her a comes in an mom sez they might have to leave the church like openly b--ch nancy pelosi being excommunicate for evil

they want her to accept it an come bac but se was backwards slow an runs off when they don't look

this is less fun than johnny bravo or dexters lab made amishmen look

in the city this openly black womanb--ches on a cellphone

she meets raches outsiean lets her in an she's not use to 20th century tech making sounds

shes got no tech nor sin number nor anything 1st worl an trus coffee i think an its the best she tasted

latr she sees the womans bf an i thin hes in unies an was b0ning the woman

later they meet an is amaze he cooks an cleans cuz his womas a slob

when woman gives her new clothes she can'as she thins shes ugly

wman thinks someone hurt her an rachelgoes on about hating cinnamon like the spice of arakkus and once uncle reached under the table and did stuff when shes 8(her 1st time)

lateri thin youth comes by saying shunning is the inal act of love and she wants to go back cuz its home an no one knows her ere

he sez he admires her and she talks of the ocean she an mom never saw

he sez he womnt get baptized and keep options open

at night she sez she don't wanna leach of woman cale grace like the degrasi girl who went nuts or latino chick in Student Boies

grace hasa photo shoot ofevolve people to sopw how thy are

sheets hers one an comes in wering jeans a shirt an taes of her bonnet

she keeps announcing where she is an when shes comin in like shes got autism

grace sez shes beautiful an ater a photo thing is with i thin youth an they make out

se has viet nam flash bacs an sez no an throws him off

later a guy comes by an sez her moms in the hospital and wants her

se goes there and mom sez its was never he fault an se sez she'd stay

after mom bites it the amish broas comfort her

beardo a sez they can forgive her and go bc o church

kid girl thinks she i something wtong an they look trough moms notebook of poetry and art

in church she asks for orgiveness an confesses running away but is leving again

bearo a sez stop but she's butthurt over a whipping and how she needs to help the other her grow an be protected

also if anyone b0nes her sistr she's calling da cops

se leaves in a car rove by youth who's fire an is gonna o baptim class

he brings her to gracie whoets her a haircut an she;s oytside dressed like a 20th century woman in a jean jacket like joey Jeremiah in degrassi Jr High by the sea

then shes bringing her suster out there an text saying is inspired by real amish and a thing sayin if ur b0ned et help

the end

that was kina standard

the whole empowerment of an oppressed woman and the evil guys

its not awful and is filmed well with good acting

its like a tv movie like on Showcase or something

i saw it on pluto tv an they have a lot of these chick films

its not awful ut is very much a made for tv movie

we used to have direct to vieo ones often with Jean Claude Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren but thee are this century's ones

i didn't hate it but its another one like all the others

I mainly reviewed his for the title as amish cr-p is fun to look into

i never saw it before but saw it being on the listing of whats coming up an finaly it was on at a time I was free to review

glad I finally saw it

For An Amish Sin 2 I want it to be an Amish Horror Movie where a few 90s human teens get lost and wind up in the inbred amish town and after culture clashes; the amish try to kill to eat them so they use modern sh-t to kill them. and the amish are depicted to be like cavemen. and they beat them with fire. and one of the 90s teens is in a bikini in one part and the amish are so unused to hot chix that they all start j-cking off, and a 90s teen gives an amish a chip or a candy bar or a sip of pop and that amish rotts and disolves, and the amish b0ne animals, and when the amish plays gameboy; he turns BLACK. then gets burned on a cross, and the amish dont have wheels and dont know what bathing is and have interspecies weddings and dont know what numbers are and cant read and build pyramids and have slaves and give animals equal rights to humans and they dont have toilets or outhouses so they just have a big pit in the middle of town they all poop in and they sometimes eat feces and they use black magic and have human sacrifices and when someone does a swartzenegger accent they think hes possessed and whip him and instead of jail; they just sodomize them a number of times based on the crime. Also its a 128 bit Zelda like game on Sega Dreamcast, GameCube, xbox an ps2 where you play as 1 of the eens an gotta save the others and switch between em to use their skills.

Open Water Review

Note: I spell openly bad

Open Water

This is my review on Open Water from the distant future year to Oswald who THEY framed for solving an irish problem of 2003(the year we got Skies of Arcadia Legends)

Its directed by Chris Kentis who also wrote it

It stars Blanchard Ryan from Blue Bloods, Cristina Zenato from Shark Week and many guys not on back door, aids bag, frooty booty, gender offender, soy boy, beta male, banana crammer Creator hater, wiener cleaner, Sodom bottom, hippie stoner peta vegan tree kung fu base on plants, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear Wikipedia who sies with liars who don't now what they are

I never saw this but its made cheap and inspired by a real thing

after starting with the shore an text saying base on true events we seeome video of a guy phoning a man aying "ont put in the boiler til i get back"

then he calls a chick who leaves and has the front door locked as this isn't Japan where people are civilized

she gets in the car an he sez its a vacation

thenthey jet to an island or beach or w/e anopening credits an title

the camera work is kinda basic n feels home made

and the vieo quality looks low

but i like it

so she sez in the hotel room she didn't o her email an after a montage of island cr-p, tey'e naked in bed and we see her nips

they dont b0ne and he turns on the lights to get a bug

so in ay time they go on a boat lead by a bog black guy like android 18 does thins with as krillin watches in bz fanart

they're going to see sharks and we getta montage of em on a boa like that song by soviet snl

blackasaur gives a lesson on scuba then they go in the water

after some chatter main guy goes in and we see undersea footage o big a55 fish

they go on he boat an it goes ut forgot te main couple who's under the sea

they come up to see the boat gone and theorize what happened

main guy sez there's coral he saw near by so the boat probably drifted off

theres a boat in the distance but it might not be theirs an can leave at any time and they'd be furher rom their boat

a plane goes overhead like Rick Hunter in Robotech

they se they're drifting in current ana boat comes as they wave

then we see gaijin kids on the beach and the boat they were on returns

in the sea the guy p-ssed and girl sees a shark or dolphin

spoilers; olphns b0ne people WOC with out consent

its like gacy

good thing Japan cops em up

so  shar goes by em which scares chivk even though se petted one a bit ago

it goes and she wonders what to do so he sez they like wounded fish so don't splash

i like how the surface looks from under water, its like cg in reboot in 199X

they play 6 egrees of seperatipon or kevin bacon an se feels something bite her an he feels it soon

its jellyfish and they swim a bit then she whines of how she never heard of 2 pople left in the sea but he did in a magazine

they see a boatan wave but aint seen

he sez the boat gaijin di a head count an theur cr-p is on board so they'll find em

they might be getting dehyrated and she had a bit of sea water

goku; the ocean is salty cuz everyone pees in it

pan: hot!

se feels sic an has to p-ss n lter is lying in the sea as a shar goes under her

she notices the guys gone after spacing out  bit an alls to him

he hears an yells her name Daniel an susan like tianic but not as cr-ppy

they reunite an they ell asleep an drifted

she elt something on her leg that hurt

e chcks her leg an it was bit by fish or something anhe sez it wasn't a shark or it would eat her leg

his leg cramps an sharks come by surfacing so he has em stay together an still

then an effing megaloon sallows em whole

jk realy they go and he eventually screams and swears and sez they paid to come here

they bicker an blame eah other over lttle things that might've caused this

he blames her job and how it mae em go now instead of b4 but she se he chose the date

se sez he wanted to go skiing and we see a big boat for a bit an birds circling em

they drifted more and not like inital D and start swimming on

she finds she had cany or w/e in her pocket or a55 an they eat it but sharks come and he drops is knife

his leg gets f'd and i think he's gushing blood, yeah it got his calf

she sez he's gonna mae it and have a cool scar to how his friens

then island life at night which sounds like a sonic level, and a storm comes

the screen is ptch blackan we only see them when lightning comes on

a har comes and then its day an 1 gaijin sees their cr-p on the boat

susan Watkins? like Sky Watkins from La Blue Girl?

so it ay an they're still out there

she sees hes dead and eats him hen turns into a hermaphrodite

jk thats Go Nagai

o a chopper goes out an i think hes dead so she lets him go as this wants to be Titanic but not eating 5 hours

I thin the sharks eat him wait thers a swarm of em by her an they're spazing out

eventually se goes under an we see the boundless sea

hen creits as people caught a shark an chop it up

in its ut is a fish head an plastic thin rom he couple i think

the end

that was pretty goo

realistic and a good reason not to go to the sea

they lose you're body out there, it might as well be in space

either way it ain't coming back

i used to woner why its R Rated when its only people in the sea

but nips an swears did it

its well made and has a good home made style with simple but effective camera

the acting is good an it tells the story right

sorta lie a realistic paranormal acivity, but there are demons so thats kinda real too

Its not long and has a goo flow an no drag to 

For Open Water 2 I want it to be revealed they got cught y seahorse people in an undersea base that works with the gov an uses people lost in sea for expeiments. After most of the movie being them experimented on an evolved, they mutate an break out and ice the people an sea orse people on the base. Also its a 128 bit game on Sea Dreamcast, GameCube, xbox an ps2 where you do mini games to devolve the couple an the 2nd half is a game like The Hulk where you bust up and eat guys an mechs an other devolved people.