Doom Review

Note: I sopell 1st person shooter but never played em much

Doom

This is my review on Doom from the distant future yea to American Hero Francisco Franco of 2005 (The year of The Transformers Movie)

Its directed by openly Polish, or, el polen zakken, Andrzej Bartkowiak who did Romeo Must Die/Exit Wounds/Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, man these kinda s-ck.

It stars Karl Urban from Ghost Ship/The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers/The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King/Bourne Supremacy/Star Trek/Dredd/Star Trek Into Darkness/Walking with Dinosaurs/Star Trek Beyond/Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker(ew)Hercules: The Legendary Journeys/Xena: Warrior Princess/The Boys, wwf jacka55 Dwayne Johnson from Walking Tall/Hercules/San Andreas/Jem and the Holograms/That '70s Show/Family Guy/Transformers: Prime, Rosamund Pike(like the demon worshipper?) from the 2005 Pride & Prejudice, brainally challenged DeObia Oparei fro m Alien 3/2001s Moulin Rouge!/the 00s The Four Feathers/Dredd/Independence Day: Resurgence, el deviento Ben Daniel from Jack the Giant Slayer/Rogue One: A Star Wars Story/Law & Order: UK, Raz Adoti from Gangster No. 1/Black Hawk Down/Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Richard Brake from Cold Mountain/Batman Begins/Hannibal Rising/2009s Halloween II/Cold Case, Dexter Fletcher from The Elephant Man/The Patriot/Kick-A55/Band of Brothers, Al Weaver from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Brian Steele(NOT brian griffin trying to seduce stewie in a dress) from Men ln BI=ck II/H=llboy/Resident Evil: Extinction/Terminator Salvation/Predators, surprisingly Christian Doug Jones from Batman Returns/Hocus Pocus/Tank Girl/Mimic/Warriors of Virtue/Mystery Men/Three Kings/The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle/Adaptation/Men ln BI=ck II/Stuck on You/H=llboy/Pan's Labyrinth/Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer/Ouija: Origin of Evil/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Party of Five/Unsolved Mysteries/Star Trek: Discovery/All Star music video, and a frw guys not on candy a55 wikeipedea, you knowm reading how good Jones is, inspired me to be nicer, gives me a good feeling

I saw this movie before and never played the games as i dont like fps but the critics said it was cr-ppy, though i wasn't hating it then

in the distant future year of, 2026? Thats not so future, they found a gate in the Nevada desert to mars. 20 years ater, theres a mars base like robotech and we get logos

then we see the base and people spazzin out and a scientist trying to keep people out saying quarintine

a chicks arm is caught in the door and comes off looking kinda cool

then this unknown monster rips it open and we get title

then the rock whos a marine with semper fi on his back tattooed like an animal brand gets orders to chec it out

theres a crew of space soldiers and 1 is on a blocky rectangle like a game boy but making Atari sounds in 2046. after the third robotech war and invid thing

da rol sez they going there and tells a guy see ja when I get back

this has a really 00s look and feel and is in widescreen but still has some color

weren't the games in h-ll or something and fighting demons?

well, some say space is fake and aliens are demons/fallen angels, so they probably got gated to there

they go to the desert and this pillar comes out an opens then a metalelevator comes out

they go in and rock sz "u hesiate, people die" and they go into the hollow earth

so they space fold over and meet a guy who got his lower boy warped to another galazy and he's on a wheeled thing plugged into where his lower half would be

rok sez no one gets in the main area w/o permission and they look at the people quarentined

1 creepy guy tries o search the chics bodies but is stopped b4 he b0ned em

they meet a blonde scientist chic like in alone in the dark but not as bimbo who needs to get this archeology and research up there they teste an archeological cr-p up there

shes the sister of 1 army guy there and a blackasaur suggests the guy b0nes her

same family love, accepted by 2046

the guys go in an elevator with the blonde and da roc sez who goes where  and they go to investigate

its dark and has blue light and steam and this Japanese guy named Takahashi is called Mac like Mac and me or House the 70s movie with the girls and the ghosts thats like an anime

they go through a lab like a higher budget house o the ded movie an theres like big heart in a tube an barking dogs to probably be vivisected or injected with aids or combine into 1boy like the soviets dd.

2 guys find a hole in the grounds a55 and its said to be a holding cell that a guy gets the lusty guy to touch and get zapped as it electrified

rok finds an armory and the BFG or big effin gun on a computer screen

he needs dna verification and is denied

1 guy opens fire on something he saw moving and reports friendly fire

blonde found humanoid remains there and rebuilt the skeleton but didn't tell her bother and its got 24 chromosomes that make it stronger and faster and immune to disease an superior

but earlier remains has 23 and somehow they got more to digivolve

and i think their rents bit it on that dig site they found the advanced bones

some guys open fire on something but I was reading of oom Guy on candy a55 wikipedia and this f'd up wounded guy comes by and blonde tries to help him

the marnes go out an say something of finding a body to go with the arm

lusty guy is asked for help and he gives the guy an item I think are drugs

but winner on do drugs

Trump never did drugs an won but kirby morrow od'd and went to h e double Ireland

1 guy drops a can own stairs an tis blackasaur goes through this wall they phaze through like a force fiend i mean field and examine the f'd guy

f'd guy spazzes out saying "its inside" with devolved teeth, probably a brit, EW!!! 

i looked away to sign in to my thing and saw a guy fought what he called some kinda monkey

the blonde gets blood from f'd guy and when she looks away he vanishes

1 shoT has a body with rips out and it looks cool as its not cg

the army men go in a watery area and 1 guy falls in a hole as 1 quotes the Bible of the enemy being like a lion

man we're like an hour in with adds and that felt like nothing

sorta like Alien 1 with the guys lookin around

so they come across a melted monster like bio broly who f'd up a guy in army and like pooped an intestine on his wound on his neck

they get him to med bay and try to save him even defibulating and blonde sez this guy vanished

they try more but he stays dead and i guess didn't have an extra life

don't worry, he's gonna be ok, he just needs some rest

roc shows her something he found and she sez the atmosphere didn't support life and 1 guy thinks it came from another planet

there may be more of em and they can't let it come to the ark door and the ark is the thing that teleports em like stargate

she dissects the bio broly monster and needs a saw from the nano wall phase thing and has blackasaur get it

roc goes on about weapons and i wasn't paying attention and blonde goes out and finds blackasaur with the bonesaw

a dog barks at blackaasur and she gets back in the lab but this big xenomorph looking thing attacks an this cQndQm intestine thing gets in the room blacakasur and blonde are in

this better not go like android 18 an bacterian

rock and fienfs make it to the dig site an 1 guy i think main guy looks out the shudders and sees a dig site with people and rock sez this is where it happened

i think it was a flash back

they get word the north airlock is safe and roc hears something and finds another guy missing a head

they open fire and it gets back to the lab area and leaves a blood trail and rock sez if anyone gets in blow the ark

like Noah's Arc getting em to safety from the demons and giants?

1 guy finds a human hand and it looks like the ones in Edward scisorhands

blonde goes through the bio brloy monsters guts and it cool and real matter and gooey like starship troopers

the dead army guy gets better and goes zombie and bangs his head on the glass til he falls and blonde sez he was turning

lusty guy gotta tae a big black dump and aint in diapers like some gamers

rock uses a woman sample to get the big FAT guy according to the Bounce Airing of this

why not say Bio Force Gun?

wait, bio force? does using it burn away the users life?

1 blackasaur has a chaingun and isn't this like the future? where all the phazer guns? why are they still using bullets?

this sasquatch yokai grabs the blackasaur with chain gun and slams him on the pipes then leaves and hes in a room wait i think its the containment cell hole in the a55 floor

lusty guy makes a recording of his status and chaingun blackasaur fights this sasquatch xenomorph but after beating on it with a 90s computer monitor, gets zapped then gets the monster zapped on the wall and climbs a chain but falls

wow, we're 90 mins in with adds, that didn't feel like much

roc finds chaingun blackasur dead on the fllor and lusty guy crawls around the toilet room and sees a rat but gets pulled through the floor and busted around

roc uses the bfg and not big friendly giant and it blows a blue hole in the walls a55 and lusty guys dead

roc gets back and sees dead guy got better and suisided on the wall and a corpse guy is half in the phase wall

turns out the monsters are the scientists and others devolved so rock sez the guy in the wall is unsavable and blows him out saying hes dead

hes getting p-ssed and wants to know whats the experiment on and blond says its an archeological dig

brother asks what they were sent to protect and she sez the research thing

she shows a video of em injecting a guy but sez they were never gonna go human things

1 mentions Genesis chapter 9 an we see injected guy in the elcetic hole in the a55 and spazzing out

she sez they can perfect xenogenesis and they were sent to protect the data

doom guy called grimm wants to destroy the research like the maruta claim happened in the alleged unit 731 butrock wants to bring it back

rock sez leave blonde and bro gives her a thing to contact him on

they go through silver halls and somethin got through and theres a system reboots they gotta wait 5 mins, probably needed to update against the users will or consent

oom guy brother nmain guy grimm goes back to sister to get her but she wants to talk about how the skeleton died protecting her kids not eating em and the chromosome made others mental

turns out the disease only affects those with bad dna and genetic psychotic things and they left mars to come to earth to start it on an arc

what is this? Go Nagai? Or Ancient Aliens?

rock goes in the warp things like galaxy quest and it looks like it wit the phlegm clear thing warping him off

hes in the base or w/e and theres a countdown an he wastEs guys

blonde and doom guy get to a place and roc wastes the rest of the survivors in the quarentine or base or w/e

the younger soldier finds a family of women and children and comes back to find wheel guy saying not to ice him and he has no neck wound or sign of inection

kid sez its wrong to ice the innocent an rock wants em iced as he give the orders and kid wont obey

rock blows him out and sez he was disobeying and punished by execution

doom guy has enuff of the rock like me in the 90s and is gonna cap him but wheel man is attaced by a sasquatch thing and slammed on the table

all h-ll breaks loose and the last soldiers fight the devolved zombie guys running into gunfire

they get past the phase barrier and close it but blackasauer gets dragged through the floor and rock through the phase wall

blonde gets borther i think back and he's all f'd up so she treats him and he sez to detonate the place after getting out

she wants to give him the chromosome thing  like its the 2020s and the gov wants you devolve but he dont want it

he relents and gives her his gun saying 1 in the heart 1 in the head an she injects him thinking it'll evolve him as he's a good guy

is this like the golden crystal in sailor moon super s how the unworthy are burned away in greenfire?

he gets better and heals and we get a cool 1st person thing of him taking guys out like house of the dead in 1 shot but really edited

hes digvolved into bada55

this is the best part of the movie

wheel guy evolve into a maggot dog thing and eats him don but he has another guy and beats it with a chainsaw on its wheel back then shotguns it

he gets to a room and there a living wall like contra pulsating in the famicom version

he gets to his sister whos alive and rock is there who iced all the survivors even the kids

quarintine is over and rock/doom guy fight with his last bfg shot being dodged and doom guy having half a clip

they get to a big blue room kinda like demolition man or the mortal instruments city of bones and roc tries a sneak attack but doom uy saw it comming and went around to fire on him

after lurking around rock break trough glass, sez semper fi and they fist fight/wwf fight/power rangers fight

doom guy get roc caught in metal but he breaks out like the hulk and bends steel on his arm to fight with

they fight and rok stabs doom guy through the hand with the metal so he uses a warp to send rock who's devolving through the space fold and rips the metal through his hand so he dont go through after rock

then sends a detonater and blows the base then carries his blonde sister out after auto healing like Garlic Jr

then credits like an fps thing

the end

That was pretty cool

good action, actin, music, style and effects

There's good bible refs like the arc and demons ad genetic f ing and cursed bloodlines and eating kids and warp gates an ancient tech

its not trying to be gone with the wind or urotsukidoji but is a action movie with a good sci fi angle

i use to think the roc should've devolved into some cgi monster, but looking at it now I see he was starting to turn and ha he lived, then he'd go yokai sasquatch okama

it has good flow and doesn't drag and doesn't feel as long as it is

its based on a game you cap monsters an this s guys capping monsters so its accurate

whatever people hated about this i didn't get

this is cool

and i don't like fps with getting hit by offscreen guys but do like 1st person dungeon crawlers as you don't gotta react in real time

i liked it and I'm glad I saw it again

For Doom 2 I want it to be revealed the virus was demons and the elevator warp gate to mars was really a inner area of the hollow earth. Doom guy is higher evolved and the gov is reverse engineering him to digivolve the population, but there's too many evil people go are revealed to have demon ancestry so the thing awakened it Doom guy and a group of others who din' urn go into the burning city to waste all the devolved who are various monsters and yokai and oni and you gotta bust em out. Also its a 128 bit run n gun with up to 4 players in a 2d sie scrolling thing like the Toxic Crusaders and Ninja Turtles ps4 games and the rock is back as a building sized monster in the final boss who revived by his brain ragment fusing with the remains o the others in the base and regenerating, and you gotta blow his organs to beat him.

Blood Dolls Review

Noye: I spel direct to vireo

Blood Dolls

this is my review on Blood Dolls from the distant future yea rof 1999(The ye th global civil war ended in Robotech)

Its direcref by one of THEM Charles Band who did Prehysteria!

It start body builder/Christian Nicholas Worth from  Scream Blacula Scream/The Terminal Man/The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!/Darkman, Jodie Fisher rom nothing I saw, openly midget Phil Fondacaro from Return of the Jedi/The Garbage Pail Kids Movie/Willow/B0rdello of Blood/The Polar Express/Land of the Dead/Quantum Leap/Sliders/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/Touched by an Angel, Persia White from Last Action Hero/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction/Breaker High, Matt Corboy from Jag/Malcolm in the Middle/Cold Case/The West Wing/Mad TV, an a lot of people not on back door, ais bag, soy boy, beta male, frooty booty, gendrr ofendr, Creator hater, soom bottom, hippie stonervegan peta tree kung fu based on plabts, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear wiipedia who denies Tartaria but thinks themoon landing was real

i never saw this bfpre but is giving on pluto tv and looks interesting

ater title and cretdis over newspapers of om cr-p an a fake head, we see 2 legal people coming to meet mr travis whos rich and eccenturic

he comes out in a clown make up which is base on fallen angles if you look into clowns and circisus, and guy lawyer bumps into a midget he want to pet

rich guy has a bimbo rock band in a age and 1 shows her nips or a sec

wait the clown guy is the butler and the rich guy is in a ghoul mask an sounds southern confederate

he has the midget turns a knob to zap the bimbos and make em play a song about being dead

travis has dolls the woman sez look racist and he se he is and whines about his name in the papers over a billon doller loss over anti trust cr-p

he has cables wrap around the lawyers hands to chain em to the chair and sez 3 people caused his money issues an he wants em to do something of it, then presses a button an a drill comes up and goes in the guy like a carotoon spaying blood

he takes off his mask and has a tiny head like in beetle uice and sez cr-p i don get cuz hes too quiet

then its night and we see the chic whos Japanese in lacey black undies in a tube he uses to zap be like 2 others who were dolls now, then has midget zap bimbos to play a song

she turns into a doll looking like a bad double dragon cartoon character or evil lynn from he man

at a get together the guys who swidled travis of 1 billion dollers celebrate and travis watches on a spy probe and sees the guy is faking being a dumba55 but is really a genius like bush jr

the swindlers are onna go home and travis is gonna send in the dolls and Japanese doll ha a Rising Sun flag as a skirt as this is imperial Japan b--ch shes gonna go 731 on those maruta but for real for once

this blonde guy gets whipped by a SM chick who sez to use jamming devices and they bought the judge an federal prosecuter they bought off to win the case but both went missing

she thinks Travis iced em and also wacks people like they do and might go for em but they can use i to take out lose ends

The Travis wants toe dolls to go instead o the clown butler who's a bit jealous and the Travis sez clown butler needs a disguise and go after one of the other

in the mansion is this bada55 working out and a swordfish on the fireplace which will probably ice a guy and a guard on a monitor reading a comic and older guard tellin him off for it

da power goes out as does the back up and the security grid is down so bada55 sez call the electric company i hope not on sesame street with Mr Rogers

1 guy fakes being the power company like in monopoly and goes in the gate in a van even though the powers out

fake power guy goes in and the guards clear him and bring him to the basement to b0ne or w/e

btw this is widescreen and colored 90s style

bada55 boss yells at guard for not having the power back yet and the p-mp doll is in his room

he looks like bruce willis had a kid with dann florek

he notices something in there and get attacks by all 3 dolls with Japanese one having 4 arms like Mortal Kombat

he get his head busted by a barbell and 1 guard gets iced by the electric man

1 guard comes in to see boss bada55 dead ad the toys get him

electrictail guy puts on clonw face and sez its good to get out of that costume as he sees his real self as fake like a gender offender or furry

he next day the spy thing like in star wars ep V, blonde guy talks with a blonde chick about a guys being a booty boy and SM chick is listening in on a wire he's got an tells him what to say on an ear piece

oh they meant the boss baa55 who got it and his guards and blonde leaves as sm chick insults him and Travis and clownface listen in an notice he said somethings coming up

sm chic bugged big boss's house that takes a photo every 5 seconds and send sit and they see dolls going across the floor in several fames

clownface shaves the travis whos thinking what did he mean coming up

so a group of guards or w/e are in a elevator and get iced offscreen after the bimbos play

SM chick has blonde guy in SM tied up like its a Go Nagai Manga and whips him saying she knows his office is bugged and she's got dirt on a guy with a young girl but is gonna ice him

she's not known to virgin i mean virgil i think travis and not the Dante's Inferno one and she's a mastermind behind the cr-p lie T R Edwards in Robotech II The Sentinels

the puppets come for the house but a wall of fire blocks em and SM chick wans to meet Travis as he wife of a competitor

p-mp doll gets touched up by virgil and clownface sez they checked the perimeter and found theres no way in besides a full scale thing and virgil or travis or w/e sez they probably planned for dat 2

sm chick comes to meet the travis and Travis sez she don't need 2 be searched as shes not on a suicide mission by body language

he sends clownface to find her vehicle and travis meets her and he sez he thinks her husband, i think blonde guy is admirable and skilled but she thinks he's a buffoonm

he sees husband didnt send her and she asks for a peace as both he/travis might fall and husband knows of the dolls

he sez he's nothing/an emptiness like the never ending story II and a guy sez if u want power, love nothing

he promises not to harm her husband and midget shocks the bimbos to play a song

she drives back saying travis is he most briliant guy she met but the toys were in the tunk

blonde is in a wire sm thing and she seems to be into the travis

she signed all docs to get power and had enuff of him and leaves him in piano wire where the p-mp turns the crank to tighten the wires into him til he bites it

sm chic was watching on a hidden camera like Megatron a follows the dolls on a vector graphics thing and traps em

she contacts travis saying the dolls are after her and he orders em as their creator to leave her but she got it on tape and plays it back for him

she has the toys in a cage and sez shes going back to her maiden name with blonde dead, ms duray, who he knows of that guys trial

she has tape of the dolls at boss bada55's place and him admitting the dolls are his and the dolls and he sez he'd contact her soon

he laments falling for her a bit an her using him and sees he's got nothin to lose

after having midget zap the bimbos again, sm chick talks to dolls saying he's probably planning and to women, surrender is a way of winning, she gets a call and sez she looks forward to see him

the travis tells clowno shes coming here not a public place and wonders if its boldness or a trick

she comes and this is kinda deep and layered like sherlock holmes or death note but worse effects

she sez she came cuz you gotta preserve excellent things and brings his dolls, a vhs of the killing and dolls at boss, and audio tape saying he confessed, and a signed confession saying she iced blonde

but she offers herself to him and he sez he liked the her that was nice, also she's a woman and offers to have his kids and let an idiot b0ne her for 10 years for money

both are smart and can do well teaming up and rule the world as she's the best he'd get

she copied his signature on a marriage licence and if he wants to ice her, do it quick cuz both of em are busy

busy in h-ll, or h e double soviet califonia!

she offers to sell him her cr-p for 1 doller and he dont carry money and clownface has 50s

he gets 1 doller and the travis sez clowno is his religious advisor and an ordained minister and they have a weeding

they get hitched and he takes off his mask to show his tiny gary busey head and has the dolls knock her down and tie her up

he sez his life has no joy and he dont like whats under her mask

he sealed his domain and has poison gas pumped in as everyone but the bimbos and sm chick likes it

Japanese doll frees the bimbos who beat out midget with a guitar and buff sm doll blows the door with a looney toons cartoon bQmn

the bimbo band gets out with the dolls and drives off

then clownface sez hey have another ending besides the girls getting away and others biting it, and he prefers this one

than alternate take has em beat away midget and clowno comes in, opens fire at the ceiling and tells em off

the band plays the wedding march and travis marrys sm chick then for the kiss, sees his small head and isn't grossed out

she wanted to hate him but sees he's more than a man an both are marvels/monsters and meant for each other

she loves him being a monster and more than a man and kisses his tiny head

now the world really has someyhing to fear

then credits to a 90s song as we see the actor names over clips of em like SpaceBalls

on set sarah geller, like buffy?

post production don adams, like Inspector Gadget?

marketing steve blum, the digimon malcontent?

The End

That was actually not bad

Its a cheap direct to video movie, but had some good parts

The story was good and both protagionist and antagionist are bad guys

its smart people going after each other and has some good ideas

yea the effects are cheap and its a bit cr-ppy

but its not trying to be Gone With The Wind or Birth Of A Nation

For what it was, i liked it

Its better than it should be

its got that late 90s feel like System Crash on YTV and good music

The blonde genius with a devolved head is like T R Edwards in Robotech II The Sentinels and his game of wits is not bad

Glad I saw this one, its actually pretty good an is better than you'd think if you look deeper

Oh and its connected to the Demonic Toys franchise but I think its not a sequel or w/e

For Blood Dolls 2 I want it to follow the good ending and the evil couple is gaining shares in companies to take over and control the media to make their puppet candidate win and rule from the shadows, also they have a new group of dolls they send to wack those who get close to the truth. Its also a 128 bit game on Sega Dreamcast, PS2 Xbox and GameCube where you play as the puppets and go on missions to ice people.

The Descent Review

Note: I spell better than brits wuith extra U's

The Descent

This is my review on The Descent from the distant fiture year to Hirohito Sama of 2005(The year of Transformers The Movie)

Its directed by openly brittish Neil Marshall who did nothing I saw

It stars Shauna Macdonald from  Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi(ew), Natalie Mendoza from 2001 Moulin Rouge!/Blue Bloods, Alex Reid from nothin I saw, climate commie MyAnna Buring from 2006 The Omen, Saskia Mulder from nothing I saw, Nora-Jane Noone from Garrow's Law, Oliver Milburn from nothin I saw, an Molly Kayll  who's not on back door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, gender offender, Creator hater, booty boy, banana crammer, soy boy, beta male, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a eer wit a steer in its rear Wikipedia who claims the last jedi was loved and ONLY a few malcontents hated it.

I never saw this but remember it comming out in the 00s

I hear it inspired the 2013 tomb raider reboot

After logos we see chick boating in a wild river then opening credits

1 has a husband/daughter and ti is really widescreen and 00s colored

blonde with man/kid drive back in a brit car on the wrong side but hes not looking where he's going and a car plows into him and poles on it skewer him

she wakes up in the hospital and wanders woundbt it goes arkan she runs from the offing lights

she's hugged by a chick in the halland crys as the lights are on and we get title

then its the Appalachian area and dark hair chic is with blonde ex family one saying"we on't gotta do this/she always brings us out"

Yea but you can say no, like with drugs or b0ning

the pack of chicks meets up and talks with 1 in medical school and 1 looks really 80s and does base jumping

at night they drink beer and at night blonde hears a sound and wakes up

then its day and they take a photo and i think blonde is on drugs or meds

thy go to a cave and 1 sez u can get dehration/disorientation/halluinatinons and other cr-p

they find a dead moose or deer or w/e and think a bear or sasquatch did it

they otta ump on it and squirt its guts out its butt

they go down a hole in the earths a55 and thssese bats swarm out

they crawl in the intstines of the ground and these a ump scare of 1 chick asking another if she wants to eat outta nowhere

they have a fooding and Asian friend comforts blonde

blonde takes a look around and inds a hol in the walls a55 to go in

they crawl in the sometimes wet slimy caves li a esophagus an some parts ae dry an tight like a dear body's butt pipe

1 was about to o in the wall hole but heard a sound nd 1 is in brown water 

1 chick gets stuck lie a t-rd left in the a55 too long and wigs out

seeing no way out, 1 pulls a gun and ends her

jk thats th Canadian dr version

1 sez "da worst thing that happened has alray happened so its only a cave"

what if it caves in or theres a flood?

then the cave starts falling in and she gets out as it closes behind her

the chicks say the guide book saying theres 3 ways i and out and this was 1 but they didn't bring the book

also they told people they were going to another cave so the rescurs wont now where to look

1 wanted em to discover something andthey seem f'd so they b--ch about it

the feed on pluto tv out tv proud which censored sh-t and nips and buttcrack f'd out but they found an inner area and a deep cliff

also i think they lost food or something when the cave f'd out

1 does rock climbing to put ropes in the ceiling to cross but is bruing out

she finds a hook to link the thing on already there and makes it across

they gets a rope across an the others pull across on it

Asian chick has em take the rope an crosses on th tophie taking the link things but falls

she's caught by the rope the others hol but the last link thik goes and she flls into the wal and they pull her up

1 hurt her hand on rope burn and they see they weren't the 1st hre as the hook link was 100 years old

what year i this? and when did they start making those link hook things?

in the cave they see painting on the walls by alleged cave men and find theres 2 ways out

they go on an 1 chick rushes as the others say old up an falls but 1 chick grabs her hand

she slips and falls in a hole in the floors a55 and its like digestive tract like in Earthworm Jim

she hurt her leg and the dames aid her by crunching her leg bck together and its blurred out on the gay pluto channel

1 chick goesin a wet cave and sees a thing in the background bu it books it and the Asian one finds her

she tells the others and they dont believe her but she thins they can help her

1 thinks they saw daylight but is told they 2 miles underground(really? thats deep) and 

they go on to a drizzling cav an ont know here to go but see cave things for a sec and spazz out

they use a flare and notice the yokai are ciccling em then run and put out the light to hie

wee see it and its a good ump that egts the bloo going and its a hairless albino eyeless fanged thing and i thin it bites 1 of the broads dead

the chicks fiht the demns and i thin 1 is dragged off but might be dead

Asian wasts 1 and heard something behind her and sings to kill i but its i think the 80s n ho she gets in the neck and falls to the floor making sounds

chic sees a blonde who turns and its he yokai cave things face screaming and she wakes up

she uses her camera light o see a lot of human bones around ehr and hides hearing a sound

a thing falls in the hole and the cave yokai eat it

2 chicks go around and hide in a higher place

camera chick sees em eat the boy and nearly barfs and 1 hears and looks into the camera with its dead eyes and makes outh sounds with its brittish teeth showing

1 yokais riht by the 2 chiks and makes hissing souns but ,moves on as its eyes dont work like drakes legs in Degrassi

it leaves but 1 girls watch goes ooff so she takes it off and drops it so the yokai finds it nt them

1 girol calls out to bekka like bekka cade in the non canon robotech comics and the thing goes after her

its the Asian one ansh sees the cave thing spazzing out and stops talking then gets her pickaxe

i assume this is a thing on the germans being attacked by soviets in the 40s

blonde chik i thinkmakes a torch outta cr-p and 2 irls go in the close halls with a glowstick til 1 tokai comes form the ceiling and attaks em lik a cave centipede that eats bats

1 chick fights it ut asiangets it inthe back and snaps its neck

its like Ninja Scroll with the blinde Samurai Devil

they talk of how these things cant see but hear and are made for the dark claiming its evolution but theres no evidence of that

i assume they are demons or fallen angel offspring or made by pre or post flood dna engineering gene slamming

blonde findsthe chick who got eaten or something whos not dead and barfing blood who sez to leave her

eated chick gives her a thing saying love each day and blonde says she cant leave her and we get the token sad moment

wait she wanted her to finish her and blonde eventually ends her with a axe or pick or rock

then this devolved chick attacks and has saggy caveman t-ts and main chick  think runs

she falls into a pool of blood and pulp and this devolved chic attacks in it so she gets an item and ends her

she lays still ana cave tokai comes by and walks on her with its hand and drools spurm and leaves so she ends it

she screams and the other chicks are together and head for her 

Asian chick find a pack of cave gremins and boos it

1 girl fins a wall and climbs itwit rock climbing cr-p but the others get to her calling "bekka! we aint got enuff rope"

a cav yokai cralws on the ceilingand fights then ends her andanother gets another girl

Asian chick falls in the water with 1 and finishes it with a blade in it already

she climbs and finds blonde with dried blood on her face and they see they are the last ones

they go on and find some cave yokai by light and fight em, wel, Asian does, it, so does blone, and its pretty bada55

after wasting em including busting the head on rocks like Trayvon tried to do to that Mexican guy who had a gun, theystand looking at ech other and blond stabs Asian in the leg with the pickaxe for some reason

wait its cuz she shanked tht girl by mistake who told her and Asian chick was b0ning her man

she leaves Asian wh ust heped her to be eaten and b0ned dead and gets out of the cave in a hole in the earths hills a55

she gets to a car and drives for a bit then stops to cry

a truck comes by with big brown logs in it and she rolls down the window to barf but turns and has a vision of i think her daughter looking undead

the end

that was pretty good

i had to look up the cheeting thing and stuf on why she shanked the Asian but its mostly good

nice feel, good build up, nice flow and its got some good scares that get the blood pumping

its well filmed and the fights are kinda disorienting but i think thats on purpose to throw us off

good acting and the cast is mostly chicks with 1 human male and the rest are devolved guys

its got a slow start to ease us into the horror instead of starting out with a firehose of aids

i liked it and its got a bit of gore and good ideas

Glad I saw this one

Sorta like Jaws where you don't see the monster at 1st and it gets to it

Plus the monsters in underground caves is lie he Solomon islands and the giant cannibals

For The Descent 2 I want her to tell the cops who send a team in but fin its known by the gov and THEY work with the higher evolved beings of the cave things to control things. Also the Asian girl survived and fought em off and has sound a city of people who survived the cave things and us ancient armor from before the flood to battle em. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and BA where you play as the Asian or other survivors and fight the cave things and higher devolved forms and demon beasts from history and btle in sunken cities from before the flood.

Baby Boom Review

Note: I spell like a non boomer

Baby Boom

This is my reviw on Baby Boom from the didtant futtee year of 1987(20 years before transformers season IV)

its directed by Charles Shyer who did nothing i saw but his dad Melville worked with DW Griffith

it stars openly irish Diane Keaton from The Godfather/The Godfather Part II/The Godfather Part III/Marvin's Room, Sam Shepard from Steel Magnolias/Thunderheart/The Pelican Brief/Black Hawk Down/2004 The Notebook/00s Charlotte's Web/2014 Klondike Harold Ramis from Heavy Metal/National Lampoon's Vacation/1984 Ghostbusters/Ghostbusters II/Groundhog Day/Airheads/As Good as It Gets, dirty commie Sam Wanamaker from Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, James Spader from Pretty in Pink/Frasier/Seinfeld/Boston LegalThe Office, Pat Hingle from On the Waterfront/Hang 'Em High/Maximum Overdrive/The Land Before Time 001/1989 Batman/Batman Returns/1995 The Quick and the Dead/Batman Forever/Batman & Robin/2000 Shaft/The Twilight Zone 60s/M*A*S*H/1997 The Shining/Touched by an Angel, Britt Leach from The Brady Bunch/Happy Days/M*A*S*H/Weird Science, Annie Golden from Desperately Seeking Susan/Cheers/Father Dowling Mysteries/The Pebble and the Penguin/12 Monkeys/Law & Order/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Chris Noth from Boyz n the Hood/Cast Away/The Glass House/Law & Order/Touched by an Angel/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/The Good Wife/Shark Week/2021–2022 The Equalizer, Mary Gross from The Santa Clause/Animaniacs/The Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat/The Angry Beavers/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/Hey Arnold!/Detention/Judging Amy/Malcolm in the Middle/Boston Legal, The Right Honorable Victoria Jackson from UHF/Touched by an Angel/Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Benjamin Diskin from Bleach/Digimon Fusion/Sailor Moon/redub/Sailor Moon Crystal/Beyblade Burst Rise/Problem Child the series/Hey Arnold!/Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Spectacular Spider-Man/Huntik: Secrets & Seekers/Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H./Ultimate Spider-Man/Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir/2018 The Powerpuff Girls/Sailor Moon R: The Movie/Kindergarten Cop 1/The Wonder Years/California Dreams/Chicago Hope/Captain America: Super Soldier/Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite, Beverly Todd from nothing I saw, Jane Elliot from Law & Order an some guys I never saw o ain't in candy a55, back door, aids bag, gender offender, Sodom bottom, Creator hater, wiener cleaner, frooty booty, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a eer with a steer in its rear, soy boy, beta male Wikipedia who thinks the demented Irishman got 81 million votes in 2020 when his boss only got 69 mil at his best

I neber saw this b4 but hear it did well

after title we see a really 80s montage of soviet new york and saying 53% of the workforce is womena and instead of marrying drs/lawyers, they are them

this chick is a lawyer or w/e and lives with an in vestment baner in sin and makes money

she tells others what to do and is a take charge chick andhas inner with a geezer bu if she makes partner she' have more work

if she does it she' hve to give up being a wife and mother and geezers concerned of it as hes got a wie to help the kids

she dont want a family and only wants work and at hole i mean home egon from ghost busters is her butt buddy who offers to b0ne

she finds a home in the mt's that he thinks she wounldnt do and is probably gonna get in the end as its from the phone and othe work cr-p

after offscreen b0ning for 4 mins they sleep and wake up to the phone saying she has a distant cousin who bit it and a bad connection means she cant hear half whats said

at the airport this britmo gives her the thing the dead fam let her, a baby, as she's the last relative

she dont ant it and britmo has a plane to get to confederate forida and leaves her with the kid she'd probably eat

she drops it off with some worekr at a restaurant and meets a guy for a meeting but the blonde eventually gives it back after it barfed

main chick goes shopping and gets iapers and at home leaves the kid unattended to get iced like in pet semetary

egon retunrs and the floor has black and white tiles like a demon plance

the will has her have the kid but also take care of finding a better home which she'll propbaly do then change her mind and get back later

they make it pasta but the kid throws it too hard for a kid and it might be a daemon or yokai or like goku in dbz

after cleaning the pasta the main chick struggles to use a diaper 

after having he baby go commando to poop everywhere like its a slum country, kid fs up egons glasses an they tape a diaper on it

jr watcheS tv with em but whines and egon holds it down and tells it to go to sleep on the county of three like a 1 year old can get English

the id bites him lik a reverse bris and on the nose as i guess its gonna be a cannibal

main chick goes to dump the kid at an adoption agency

then we seemain chck with a lot of toys and clothes and some mexican satig shes doign good

she takes care of jr and it get sick so she gets a lot of cr-p to take care of it like aby tylonel to devolve it

after sticking a thermomoiter in the baby's a55 we get soft piano of her taking care of the kid

they meet a redneck family wh wants to rename her and wanted a boy but will settle or her an d take her backto Duluth

we getta sad moment of the kid crying knowing it'll be fed to cows and hogs and she leaves the kid, only to get it back and go home with it

then we see a train with 2 nuns and a jew getting off but its not a joke, its egon who is not lpleaces she kept the kid

i think he diches her and later she has the kid at work and the bosses don't like it but she still wants to be partner

if she's so rich why not hire some help to look after the kid like the slavery days?

she interviews chucks i mean chicks and 1 is turned down for coming for The Lord and 1 is nuts and 1 is a german or w/e

she hires a bimbo an goes on a trip for a meetingshe gets a call saying "i put the turkey in the oven" and after getting home finds the sitter did drugs and cooked the baby

jk really shecalls asking for help and main chick sings to the baby on the phone in a room full of men who are not naked

she gets back and finds her wearing a hat and well places hands as a guy is there and they were b0ning

main chick hires the german but sees a newspaper saying child missing parents suspect babysitter so she gets info from her o sin number and other things

after crossing the road without looing like the gypsy in thinner and 2 cards nearly crush her, she gets to work and a guy she as training got promoted

in the park where purvoes go, main chick hangs with other 80s moms and they got peschools thats hard to get in and they got their kids in advanced cr-p

then a thing of her trying to teach the kid flash cars showing things liek doorknob an whoopie Goldberg and a 1 year old doign swinging ring thing on gymnastics

at work james spader has done her work to get ahead while she was with child and she sez "this is my office"

she gets p-sseed spader made a decision w/o her on her account and boss sez he gets the account cuz she's lost focus and gives her a cr-ppier account

she can't take being demoted and leaves like Manjyome in GX then buys the mt house and moves there and its a farm place y a lake like the 1800s

the heater goes out and its a cold winter coming an the only plumber in town sez it'll cost a lot

then its a blizzard and we goin little monkey houseon the prarie with the roof f'd out an she needs a new one as snows sh-tting in

then its summer but actally spring and shes making apple sauce cuz she didn't get a sega master system and her homies in soviet new York or new Sodom as it otta be known is doind well

the well dries up and she thinks she can fill it with a hose so she needs to tap the county line or like 6000 dollers

she wigs out on a tirade thats not b--chy andhas low money and used to be better and wants to b0ne but blacks out

a dr helps her and asks if shes pregnant but due to not b0ning she aint

after whining more she hears a horse and its not like berserk as the dr is a vet and wigs out for a while

she finds the house was on the market for 5 years and she was the only one to look and goes to the store and ge apple sauce does well

she wants kerocenie andsome yuppies come in and chris noth might be 1

they like the gourmet baby food and she goes to the library where she meets the vet again

she goes home and her car tire blows like an irish head in dallas so she tries fixing it and vet tries helping

In real life a vet gets in trouble for treating a human, even if he thinks hes a cat

they devolve int making out and we getta nother montacge of her trying to sell baby food

eventually she makes it big in baby food anwe get yr another montage

at a Xmas Party he meets vet again and if she's no b0ned by him, the animals might be

so they reconnect and i think b0ne and jr calls him dada

she gets a call saying somene wants to buy her cr-p or brand or w/e and she goes to soviet new York with the ninja turtles to find the account she had before wants her brand

her ex bosses offer her 3million ollers for her company and an apartment of her choice and keeping her on as the c e o and bonuses

she thinks of it and sez no and won't sell and likes herself as it is now and thinks she can do it w/o em and likes living in soviet Vermont

she goes back to the quiet white bread red ne inbred mountain town and smooches the vet wo's moyth might've been on horse a55

then gets home and her kid sez mama or mother/mommy/mom in the subtitles like how they say papa is dad on the subs of sailor moon or w/e

the end

Tht was pretty nice

sorta like Look Who's Talking but more about the mom

Its a nice mostly lite story thats ot good heart

its kinda mild but not everything has to be commando or predator

its cozy and Dianne Keaton seems kinda like tina fey if hetero

its a nice little film and don't feel like nearly 2 hours

For Baby Boom 2 I ant it to be in the 90s and about the daughter growing up and having a 90s time as a 90s kid and dealing with lessions of not doing drugs and mainly adventuring in he nature lie huckleberry finn. Also its a 16 bit game on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as her and explore and do things lie Harvest Moon but being a 90s kid instead of a farmer.

Evil Toons Review

Note: I spell toony

Evil Toons

This is my review on vil Toons from the distant future year to demon worshipper mel blanc o 1992(The year we got Chuck Rock and Ex-Mutants on Genesis)

Its directed by Fred Olen Ray who did Alien Dead/Alienator

It stars David Carradine from from Kill Bill: Volume 1\Kill Bill: Volume 2\Kung Fu: The Legend Continues\Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman\Lizzie McGuire\Jackie Chan Adventures\King of the Hill\Danny Phantom/Young Billy Young/Celebrity Ghost Stories/Taggart/The Long Goodbye/Last Stand At Saber River, Monique Gabrielle from Airplane II: The Sequel/Flashdance/p0rn0, Barbara Dare from p0rn0, Arte Johnson from The Andy Griffith Show/McHale's Navy/Bewitched/The Dick Van Dyke Show/I Dream of Jeannie/Sesame Street/The Smurfs/The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo/The A-Team/DuckTales/Tom & Jerry Kids/Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures/Animaniacs/The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries/Justice League Unlimited, The Amazing Dick Miller from P0rn0 I mean Star Trek: The Next Generation/Batman: The Animated Series/Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman/Justice League Unlimited/A Bucket of Blood/The Little Shop of Horrors/The Terror/X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes/The Dirty Dozen/The Howling/Gremlins 1/The Terminator 1/Chopping Mall/Gremlins 2: The New Batch/Batman: Mask of the Phantasm/Pulp Fiction/Demon Knight/Small Soldiers, Mexican slav Michelle Bauer from p0rn0, and a few guys not on back door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, Creator hater, soy boy, beta male, gender offender, banana crammer, hippie soner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a deer wth a steer in its rear Wikipedia who wont say peoples real names when they go nuts

I never saw this, but  according to candy a55 Wikipedia Roger Corman turned it down as he thought it s-cked or something

after amaericna internauoan picutes logo in neon we get text saying this is true

David carridine comes to a place with the necornomicon nd hangs himself

too soon

really, THEY did it to him in the 00s

he told the book you lose and the book sez we'll see then fades int dst

then title to good music and credits with illiustations of demons on a blac blckground and a fire effect

they even got b=rphomet with the hexagram on the head

are toons demons? i mean aliens and sasquatch are so why not toons?

the 1st part was in the 30s according to cripple nipples wikipedeia and now its the 90s or w/e and dick miller comes to the house with some bimbos in 8s fashion and he checs out their butts

this movie is a55

they gotta clean up the place for new owners and get 100$ which was a lot of money in the 1800s

dick sez no b0ning and theres electricity but no phones

they go in and 1 sez weird things happened here and the last guy who lived here vanished

the nerdy girl meets a neighbor outside who remembers the hosue in the past

the bimbo put food in the fridge and the one in the lime green spandex tank top keepts showing off her pits for guys with an armpit fetish who b0ne armpits

neighbor comes in and sez he wants to be ready if he has t identify their bodies to the cops and dont want anything to happen to em

he goes and they work on the basement as tank top arm pits sez"whys it always co eds going in the basement?"

blonde jokes "is this where we find the oiuja bord and gets possiessed" and the get to cleaning

they fidn  trun with a weird language and we see i turn to enfglsih for ea bit

they open it an it stinks and therss a skull in it and a wavy daggar that ither blonde brings with her in case its important

tank top sez its cuz they might be antiques that are valuabl and no one will miss

later they're relaxing and  other blonde reads the Frankenstein wheel and theres lightningouside but no rain

David retutns and look like a pilgrim and summons the book

tanktop turns on 80s musicand dances seductivlythen tanes off her cltheswith her nips blurred out on pluto out proud at 3 am

she undresses nerdy chick whos got a big bust but she runs off with her big bra showing

the door bell rings and they meet David and he delivers this package but they say the nw owners wont be here til Monday

they get it and he goes but watches froma  tree like a creeper

the pacage se open immediately and tey think it might be perishable so they open it and its the Necronomicon

1 sez its human skin and the other sez its probably worth a lot

logical idea, totally not unrealistic, if ur a pyscho

they look through it and its in a wird language that they think nerd can do

in her room nerd gets undressed and looks in the mirror with the nips blurred out but only in the mirroras they forgot the side b00b

she gets dressed and tank top comes by, sez she has a great body and otta use it, then tells he of the book

blondes look through the book at art of demons b0ning chicks like its go nagai

nerd sez it looks like ancient latin an she reads it saying of demons and things not dying and offering to be slaves to em

at the bottom it sez "if you value ur soul never read the above thing outloud"

tank top invited a guy over o b0ne and looks through the book as the other bimbos go to bed in sleeping bags on the floor1 blode gets changes an they blurr out her nips a does the other with blurred nips as they say the nerd looked great

tank tip armpits has some booze but cant open the bottle andshe uses her mouth and NOT like THAT

in the book the werewolf monstwr vanishes and comes to life as a 2d thing

it hears armpits tryng to oen the bottle and hies as she comes in an puts on mini shorts after taking off her shirt again

also it blurs out her buns even though its covered by semi see through unies

the toon goes cheap tex avery and jumps on her kinda b0ning her and pullinf off her small ba as she screams

the others think she's only b0ning her bf andnerd thinks something up an wnts to go down to check

toon drags her off anseems to have eaten her as its got blood on its face but tuens into no top armpits girl

nerd asks you ok? and fake she sez she was changingand cut herself and got carried away but when fake she wants to do stuff to her, nerd goes

lightning blips and we see the toon face on hers and nerd tells the other blondes what happened but it seemed weird

the blondes think its nothing an go to sleep and fake armpits wear sa shirt and in a demon voice sez hes alive

her butt buddy comes by and thinks the blood is a new lotion

on the couch fake she starts b0ning but grows fangs and eats him as David watches like a ppurvo like how scottsmen videotape couples in cars

the bimbos talk of if smethings up and 1 plnde sez "its the ur it thing so u'll get it b4 us so u otta check it out"

nerd gos to the can and on t is la bucket of blood with dick miller making clay cr-p as dick miller now watches

i'm watching  movi of a guy watching a movie

he gets a phone call while smoking a cigar an drinking booze bt not doing nose candy like the soviets and hears the girls were screaming at night and he saw a guy par in front with his telescope

dick sez he'd check it out and sez of his past elf "how come this guy never won the acaemy award"

he tells his wife he's going out and she shows her blurre out big t-ts b4 going to her room and we hear an engine like a lawnmower

the blondes hear nerd cream and come don witha  big black flashlight

they find nerd saw butt budy with his neck bi out and a soul shroud on him for souls offered to the devil

dick miller comes by and they say they aint dressed to buy time to hide the body as if he finds out they had a guy over they gon get fired

fae armpits meets dick and sez come around back and i'll explain it

the bimbos open the door and hes gone

fake armpits takes him to the basement and is gonna mouth his thing but grows fangs and bits it off

this furry is gay! it b0nes men and eats d0ng

the bimbos see the beast man or jujin in urotsukidoji is not on the book and nerd reads the beast man like in he man will kill people to collect souls but the dagger can do stuff

they loo for the demon beast like maju sensen or demon beast invasion and in the basemen1 blonde sits in a chair but the coth fall off it and dea ick is there

they scream a while aand find armpits body in a woond thing that was there the whole time

they run back inside and say someones in here cuz armpits Roxanne is dead and they wont be paid as the boss bit it so they otta go to neighbor and call from his phone

armpits butt buddys body is gone and they meet neighbor andhe thins they dont need the dagger

he recognizes the book as a demon boo sent by Gideon fisk from the 1800s and caused all issues in the house

fake armpits comes by sayingneighbor is gone andthey as how sshes not dead

they show fake her the boo saying the demon beast is gone anthey go to the celler as armpits sez so an claims its a joke

they jerk aroudnthe bodies thinking its fake and are effing bimbos

after seeing its real, fake armpits sez with demon or brittish teeth that its a demon collecting souls for the master and ater they fall its ree

they left the daggar upstairs and1 blonde and nerd run for it as othe blonde fights Roxanne emon armpits and does well

her cloths come of and they blurr her b00bs but she gets her neck eaten

blonde and nerd find the knife is gone and hear a sound upstairs so nerd reads the book to fin it only mentions the dagger

why not pay it away?

if demons are real so is God

blonde suggest going to the cops like that'll do anything  and they go up with a pointed stick or w/e a they dont got a banana

upstairs fake armpits grabs blonde and pulls open her top then mouths her neck

fae armpits slowly goes for nbusty nerd chick and sez putting the cloth on her body after icing her will send her to h-ll

nerd skswhy are you doing this and is told to free the other demon beasts in t book and will have her free em and take others b4 it eats her soul

then Dave the slave comes in andse it can beat fake armpits and f'd up in the past but can erase her

he pulls the twisty dager andthey fight over it with dave the slave being overpowred and nerd busty chick standing around doing nothing

eventually she hit the fake chick with a liquor bottle and dave the slav shanks her

she pulls it out from his side and turns back to a furry that crawls slowly to the book as dav and nerd say it can not die if in the book

eventually she throws it in the fireplace ad it crys spurm and  burns which is kind cool

the furry cartoon fades out and dave the slave puts the soul cloth on the fire to burn

he sez he borught the book to America and got cursed by it and waited in limbo after biting it to find someone who could solve it

the curse is broken and demon is beat an world is safe and now her friends will be okas the demon beast never really existed

then he fades out and in the AM the nerd sees her blonde is aae upstairs and neighbor comes by with nerd having sprained her knee

neighbor brought hot coffee like gta in his thermos and the others are alive now

neighbor sez its Saturday morning so time for cartoons and nerd screams

the end

that wasn't so bad

i mean yah we only get like 90 seconds o the actual evil toon

and theres only 1

and the acting is kinda cr-ppy

but these are p0rn0 stars, its not trying to go for the Oscar

dick miller was good and the music was cool and its not so long or hard(tee hee)

its made in like 8 days and most of the budget went to the animation

it was the 90s homie

animation was expensive and they didn't cheat by using computers to cr-p it out

its a low bidget slasher and the lighting and filming is good

yeah its not like gone with the wind or the ten commandments or birth of a nation or ben hur

but its not trying to be

its self aware and ha a few good jokes like dick miller watching dick miller movies

and the end wanting to watch cartoons is a good callback to the 90s when we had Fox Kids with X Men befoe Disney ruined it

its a fun little cheapie

glad i saw it

the demon beast is onscreen 90 secnds and the movie is 90 mins

thats 1/60th of the film

plus it had a good ending for once

most of these cheap horror films end dark like Go Nagai likes to

For Evil Toons 2 I want it to be years later and another Necronomicon comes in. But the nerd chick is now a bada55 demon slayer who uses her knowledge an sills o fight em. Also the other bimbos are her crew and this scientist occulting actor opens a demon gate and turns soviet California into a h-ll on earth with demons b0ning and eating people. So these chick take em on with holy weapons. Its also a 16 bit beat m up with up to 4 players on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you battle non copyrighted daemons based on 90s cartoons and its revealed cartoons were originally based on demon works and the 30s animators were into dark occultism and used dark things to normalize their evil.

A Smoked Husband Review

Note: I spell better than THOSE irish

A Smoked Husband

This is my review on A Smoked Husband from the ditant future year to Oa Nobunaga of 1908(120 years before Transformers Zone)

Its directed by by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Gibson Goddess/The Unchanging Sea/The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch/The Cricket On The Hearth/Under Burning Skies/A Beast At Bay/The Battle At Elderbush Gulch/The Mothering Heart/The Telephone Girl And The Lady/The Burglar's Dilemma

It stars John R. Cumpson(sounds like p0rn0) from Romance of a Jewess, Florence Lawrence from Romance of a Jewess, Linda Arvidson aka mrs Griffith from The Unchanging Sea, George Gebhardt from Romance of a Jewess, Robert Harron from The House of Darkness/The Tender Hearted Boy(Sonds wonderful and kind)Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience/The Birth of a Nation/Intolerance: Love's Struggle Throughout the Ages/True Heart Susie/Under Burning Skies/A Beast At Bay/The Battle At Elderbush Gulch/The Burglar's Dilemma, Arthur V. Johnson from Romance of a Jewess, George Nichols(like Nichols in Ma Bull 34?) from The Unchanging Sea, Alfred Paget from The Musketeers of Pig Alley/Judith of Bethulia/Intolerance/The Romance Of A jewess/The House Of Darkness/The Goddess Of Sagebrush Gulch/Under Burning Skies/The Battle At Elderbush Gulch/The Mothering Heart/The Telephone Girl And The Lady/The Burglar's Dilemma, Mack Sennet from Romance of a Jewess/The Cricket on the Hearth 1909/The Gibson Goddess/A Corner in Wheat, Harry Solter from Romance of a Jewess, and Kate Toncray from Under Burning Skies/udith of Bethulia.

I never saw this before but its by Griffith and written by Frank E. Woods who's called a "neo confederate" by back door, aids bag, soy boy, beta male, Sodom bottom, candy a55, Creator hater, hippie stoner vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear Wikipedia and i forgot banana crammer

after title is txt saying a c o  delivery for mrs bibbs

the dad is gonna go oiyt an mom gers a gift

she opens it a bit and goes to another room as ad wigs out over the bill

he pays the delivery slave andthe mom has a big fancy hat like its the 1900s

she walks cripplishously in shows an dress an dad come in

he dances with her a bit but she struggles with it

then dad covers her legs in stockings wita rug an runs off as she sits her unb0ned a55 in a wood chair and the rug is comming off

text sez the maid and her butt budy conspire and i thin they're onna ice em like soviets or the gov

they lurk around the arden an she snaks in a bag of cr-p an steal items to put in it

is she a gypsy?

so she gets a note saying signal from your window, meet in the drawing room

she goes to get smething and when out, dad comes in and finds the note so she runs off

dad rads t andgets his irish up wile in a buster Keaton hat and looks around even in the fire place

wife an other chick come in and she has ma light a fire an dads in the chimney listening for cr-p

maid gets the fire going and did they have matches then? or did they use some photon energy thing as tech was higher advanced in the past

they realize dads in it and spazz out like a spazz on spazz drugs

mom finds the bag of stolen cr-p and maid kinda fights her and runs off but its weirdly acted and they're women so who knows whats really going on

dad struggles in the chimney like with the dad in gremlins who bit it coming down as a santa bit revered and his ead gets blacked

the cops come in and look then leave andcatch the maid and get homie outsie

you gon drop da soap boy! and they gonna watch and laugh as you is b0ned!

you now, clyde from bonnie and clyde got b0ned in jail

text sez the neighboring foortop and dandies out for a smoke

dat weird 1800s talk

so this frooty looking guy in a top hat and big moutache comes out and s mokes with a guy who he's proably being butt hammered by dressed the same

dad clibs the chimney as the smoke rises and crawls out the hole in the roofs a55 all blackened like Trudeau

so the cops chase him like its family guy

he umps off the roof and falls like 15 feet onto the booty boys smoking, then it cuts to the manniwuin used for him replaced with him in a water thing

they fight and fall into a trough of white goo which i hope isn't the dudes spurm they =rke of together

the wie i thin comes by and the cops are spazzing out and wifes dress is a bit burned or something

cops have maid and butt buddy are there and take away and wife marches her man of by the neck cuz he's her indentured servant now

the end

that was pretty solid

the dad being the butt of the joke was something I'd expect from family guy or a 90s show

i get the smoked part after he was in the chimney

its got that 10s style of the camera in 1 place and cutting between other areas

good action and i didn't expect it to go in that way

he went black then almost went back

didn't expect the maid to be a bad guy and in on a heist

nice 00s acting with the exaggerated thing

the title cards tell what needs it and its basically a 50s cartoon

this i where we got things for Tom and Jerry or The Pink Panther

its a good start to film things we grew up with in the 20h century

glad I saw it

its got the seeds of the future buried in the past

plu its like 8 mins so its a quick watch

btw, I was feeling kinda disenfranchised of doing my reviews, but saw in the tarts  got thousands of views on my blog, so it got me hining, i got people who lie this, so it got me doing more.

so thanks to anyone who likes em.

For A Smoked Husband 2 I want it to be a legal thriller with the maid and butt buddy on trial but the defence tries to make it a human rights complaint as the owners were rich and had too much. also the commies and unions try to affect it by fnding protests in favor of the criminals but the dad is rich and has his capitalist friends counter. In the end the maid is found guilty and the commies/unions start a riot so the capitalist gotta beat em down. Also its an 8 bit beat em up like doule dragon on Sea Master Suster and Game Gear, Nes and Game Boy, TG16, Atari Jaguar I mean Lynx and 7800 where you play as a manly capitalist and his emale body builder woman who beat the soy boy beta commies that blow apart into blood and chunkslike Growl/Runark on Sega Genesis

Tango Tangles Review

Note: I spell higher evolved than those who dance

Tango Tangles

This is my revuew on Tango Tangles from the diatant future year to Nathan Bedford Forest of 1914(100 years before Robotech Season 1)

its directed by Mack Sennett who did Tillie's Punctured Romance 1914

It stars openly agnostic/gypsy Charlie Chaplin from Tillie's Punctured Romance/The Immigrant\A Dog's Life\The Kid\The Pilgrim\The Gold Rush\City Lights\Modern Times\The Great Dictator/A Woman of Paris/The Circus/The Masquerader/A Film Johnnie, Charley Chase from Tillie's Punctured Romance/The Masquerader/His New Profession/His Favorite Pastime, Roscoe Arbuckle from The Mabel and Fatty's Married Life/Fatty and Mabel's Simple Life/The Butcher Boy/Coney Island/The Bell Boy/The Cook/The Sheriff/The Hayseed/The Garage/Knockout//Leap Year/The Masquerader/A Film Johnnie, His New Profession/His Favoriye Pastime/The Speed Kings, Ford Sterling from He Who Gets Slapped/Alice in Wonderland 1933/A Film Jonnie/The Speed Kings, Chester Conklin from Tillie's Punctured Romance/Greed 1924/The Wizard of Oz 1925/The Phantom of the Opera(1925/Modern Times/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/The Great Dictator/The Masquerader, Minta Durfee from Tillie's Punctured Romance/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World/Willard 1971/The Masquerader, Charles Avery from The Blackbird 1926, Glen Cavender from Tillie's Punctured Romance 1914/The General 1926, Alice Davenport from Tillie's Punctured Romance 1914, Billy Gilbert from Captains Courageous 1937/Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 1937/The Great Dictator, William Hauber from Tillie's Punctured Romance 1914, Bert Hunn from  The Speed Kings, George Jeske from nothing I saw, Edgar Kennedy from The Knockout 1914/Tillie's Punctured Romance 1914/Duck Soup 1933/San Francisco 1936/Star Is Born 1937/The Black Doll 1938, Hank Mann from The Knockout/Tillie's Punctured Romance 1914/Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 1920/City Lights/Scarface 1932/Mr. Smith Goes To Washington/The Great Dictator/The Maltese Falcon 1941/Yankee Doodle Dandy/Arsenic and Old Lace 1944/Coroner Creek/On Moonlight Bay/Angels in the Outfield 1951/Some Like It Hot/Inherit the Wind 1960, Harry McCoy from Tillie's Punctured Romance/The Garage 1920/The Masquerader, Dave Morris from noting I saw, Frank Opperman from Judith of Bethulia/Tillie's Punctured Romance/The House of Darkness/The Unchanging Sea/The Battle at Elderbush Gulch/The Masquerader, Peggy Pearce from A Film Johnnie/His Favorite Pasttine, Al St. John from The Knockout/Mabel and Fatty's Married Life/Coney Island/The Bell Boy/The Scarecrow/Out West/The Cook, and some giys not on back door, aids bag, gender offender, soy boy, beta mal, candy a55, forroy booty, Sodom bottom, Creator hater, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants, queer as a eer with  steer in its rear wiipedia who didn't evenr have a page for Cyraid on Gema boy for decades.

i never saw this b4 but hear its mae in a ance hall w/o any script and chaplin dont use his tramp style

also is the last time chaplin and sterling were in a movie together. dat candy a55 commie

after title we get tet sayng pro dancers and not break ancers have inning befor eht masque ball starts

more like in the butt!!

we see a guy dancing with a chick in an opean area and she does toe walong

then 2 earlier chicks do kic dances and trip shaved face buster i mean Charlie

this owler hat guy walds around and is tired and puts his hat on a woman and gets a ticket foe the thing

he eems drunk or high or devolved or like he got too many flu shots to the head

text sez the ban leader is into the hat check girl andhe some to tell her he liks her

but another guy by roscue coes in wanting her and they fight wit roscoe lifting a guy over his head as he spazzes out and ban leaer running before getting beat by a human with a human

lie ororon enma kun how enma ha a sword fight with chiiko sensei but instead of sword they used naked chicks

after ban leadrr runs off from the alpha male's show of force,the picked up guy falls and roscoe kicks him in the 155 but falls on his own a55

band leader runs around devolvedly nd throws a guy about to go up the stairs onto the floor thenrns up with weird leg movements

wait i tin tha was chaplin he threw down

take dat you candy a55!

roscoe comes in and chaplin looks mentally ret-=rded

band lader plays his horn and  it comes apart but roscoe hears it and runs up stairs as haplin follows but falls

rocoe has an oboe i thinkand band leader tells him off and he sits down

text sez the hat chic is polpalr an caplins into her

the band plays as people in the room dance like its the alleged 1700s andchaplin dances with hat chick

band leader ses and is playing weird to f with emas roscoe blows his horn like he's sucking a d0ng

tha horn is b0ning his mouth

band leader is spazzing out abd needs a drin so roscoe goes to ge one but band leader uses this chance to come down

he moves aroundd exaggerated and goes on da dance floor tl he inds Charlie and hat chick

he sez Charlie has something dat belongs to him da wo man, and is bumped y a guy in a clown outfir, proably a demon worshipper as clowns have dark fallen angel origins

he stangles Charlie and throws him into the crown but Charlie kicks him ow and gets the girl

he spazzs around like a drun soviet and knocks chalie over an they fight clownishly

band leader takes off his coat and throws it into charlies monkey face but then either kisses or bites his face, lie the penguin in batman returs making dat guys nose gush blood lie a woman once or twice a monh, depending on how many wombs she got

charlies thrown into a crowd and wandes around lk biden and roco is suspect of and leader

he goes to break him in 2, which would be pretty cool to see literally like in Mortal Kombat, andband leader sez shes's my woma and anyone trying to et her gets beat

he kisses her hand and brags more ut roscoe is fuming behind hi and when he notices, he runs as roscoe kicks and falls on his a55, then gets up swinging fists to punch a clown

band leader faces Charlie and they tae off heir vests as Charlie sticks out his a5 to be kicked and he kicks it

hey dance around and Charlie strectches out his stretchy shirt thing and snaps it into band guy's eye

got soem ninja moves here

they take off their ties and neck things but start to remove the pants, which might be too hot for 1914

they go toput on a coat but both try the same trench coat and flip around then chaplin falls out

chaplin fights ban guy and throws flothes at each other and flop around like crack smoking apes

they devolve into hugging each other but smack on the back then both fall

one sez "i don want her, you can have her" and they fall over blacked out and probably dead

the end

that was pretty good

nice 10s style with that camera work and style thats ixed and cuts instead of moving

good stunts and chaplin and roscoe did well with physical cr-p

good action and they slapped together a decent plot for guys goofing around with a camera in a dance place

good ending where they give up on the girl after beating the h-ll outta each other

it sorta stops after enough joes ut its still pretty goo

and better than 50 shades of gray where it just stops and we get cr-ppy sequels after a cr-ppy mobie

Glad I saw it, its fun

oh and i tdont recall them actually tangoing, but maybe they did, i dont ance

For Tango Tangles 2 Iwant Roscoe to be ready to marry th hat girl bucharlie and the band guy have surgically combined into 1 person to take him on with the strength of 2 men. But other guys wanna marry her too and a hermaphrodite and woman. So they have a fighting tournament to win her hand. But its also danc fighting where yo use dance moves to beat each other up. Its also a 16 bit fighting game lie street fighter on sega genesis, snes, tg16, Atari jaguar and gba where you play as 1 of the fighters and the final boss is the fused guy