Sunday, May 22, 2016

Forbidden Planet Review

note; my comp is cr-p so tgeres typoes
Forbidden Planet
this is my review on forbidden planet
its got leslie nielson b4 he did those naked movies
naked gun movies
I loved those in da 90z and thought he was just awesome
even in Dracula; dead and loving it
how come a mel brooks/lerslie nielson partody is hated when bram stopkers dracuyla(90s ver) is loved?
that 1 s-cked!
its just lust and secks
might as well have made it a P0RN0E
I hear this movie is based on shakespere
shakespere s-cked
he's just talking about b0ning and he goes emo
I saw shakespere in love and kept making sodomy jokes
much ado about nothing was really prissy
and romeo/Juliet were losers!
you want a GOOD writer? get Go Nagai!
Devilman, violence jack, demonlord dante, cutey honey
hold up shakesperes cr-p next to go nagai's violent p0rn0z
compare em and see which is cooler/more enjoyable/better
ooh, its from 56
so is my mom
I wonder if its from Poland too
it starts with bright color credits at a slant in widescreen
in 2090s people went to the moon
then expanded bases elsewhere
then found hyperdrive
I think the sdf-1's fold drives were better
in the 2200s they were out in the stars
and now this ship is going to this planet that had a base but I think has no contact
I love the color on this
bright and vivid
its kinda sad to think once dark shows like batman beyond or Urotsukidoji have brighter colors than most cr-p nowadays
they go to the planet ajnd it has more oxygen and a bit less gravity as earth
that means the people will be weaker on earth
enduring hardness makes one tougher
like in dbz when they train in 500x earth gravity
the ship gets a broadcast message saying they don't need em
he warns em its dangerous but don't explain why
the crew don't care and the planet guy gives him landing coordinates
wtf the human craft looks like a flying sauser
good landing effects though
btw, the ship has weapons
better than in 2001 a space oddesy
the crew sees a weird fast vehicle coming across the wasteland and its got a really 50s looking robot in it
the robot sez he's here to bring them there abd knows 187 other languages if they don't get English
one guy asks if its male or female
I assume he wants to b0ne it
the bot takes em to the planet guy and they have dinner
the robot can make any food and a disintegrator to clean up
also its a slave to the planet guy and cant harm people.
I wonder if the planet guy(whos also a dr so im calling him it now) ever b0nes his bot?
he has the bot aim a blaster at the captains head but when he tells it to fire the bot wigs out
the dr sez all the other guys on this trip were iced by some dark force
he married and b0ned a girl on the crew and they were the only survivors
and also he has a daughter
she wears a small dress like in star trek
if it was just me and my gf alone on some planet we'd just hang out in our undies
his daiughter hasn't known any other people besides her dad
the captain sez his men were in hyperspace for a year w/o chix
you'd think they'd go prison gay
the girl has a whistle that can summon animals
1st deer then a tiger
but it wont kill her
I assume she'd be some kind of female tarzan
the ships crew needs 10 days to make a thing to contact earth as their orders didn't include a masaacre and they cant to jack on their own
the robot helps em with the work and can carry an obscene amount of weight
a guy get the rpbot to make him some booze
it drinks the guy's last bit then asks if 60 gallons is enuff?
this is like teens asking a guy to pick them up some brewski's
then the cAptain (I think) makes out wuith the chck
wait, its the lieutenant
leslie nielson saves her and sez she shouldn't run around dressed skimpy
the real leslie nielson would make some dumba55 comment played totally straight and often with b0ning implications
you dressing like that gives me a good feeling. my hands would like to return the favor
the chick b--ches to her dad about it and then goes to the bot to have her make her a new dress
if this were startrek sge'd be in some skimpy bikini
the next day the captain whines to the guards about how while they were on guard the ship was entered and something busted
eslie nierlson goes to see the dr but he's busy in his study with the door closed
I wonder if that robot can made p0rn0es?
like vhs tapes or comics
then lesblie nirbl;ios sees the chick swimming and thinks she'd nude
but she's really wearing a long nice dress
hes a bit nervous but she don't get why
I think leslie nielson got a b0ner
they talk then he makes out with her
then the tiger comes out
It attacks but leslie nielson nukes it with his death ray
pretty sick effects
the eslie nirlson goes into the dr's room and sees weird writing
then the dr comes in and sez the planets 1st people (the krell) were some kind of ubermenche beyond humans ever were and long ago
they also visited earth
what is this? macross?
then they were wiped out somehow
oh and their legacy lingers on
also this room he owns has a door that has dense molecules and is energy resistant
I bet if you used KI it could take it on
and the dr is learning their language in writing and mastering their tech
he's around half as smart as their 7 year olds at IQ183
this really is like Robotech/macross
the crew tech guy does 1/3rd of the dr at IQ161 and the captain s-cked too
so its not just IQ
and power levels don't matter with skill
oh and the dr has had a shock thing that doubled his brain power
plus the equipment uses almost nothing of its max power
this is like dbz
I don't remember this
theyre in a sphere elevator and its all green and sci fi
and they're in a building that goes on for miles
makes the SDF-1 look dinky
a cube 20 miles on each side
and 50 miles below is nucular recators
this would make a good video game
the crew sets up a laser fence and the cook goes to get his booze
but drinking on the job is against regulations and protocol soldier!
the fence sparks a bit and these footprints sink into the earth w/o a body
then they go up the stairs
the dr and eslie nielson argue if man deserves such science
then he gets a call that a guy was splattered all over the communucations room
the cast of the footprint sez it goes against every law of science and evolution
maybe science and evolurtion are wromg?
and the captain b--ches about the cook getting hammered buty he didn't get drunk despite all his drinking
the dr sez if the captain don't go then the thing will kill again
he calls it a PREE MOH NITION!
its prem oh nition
like how its Slow vay knee uh not slow vee knee uh for Slovenia
or uh maer ihh kuh, not amm err ick uh for america
the crew sets up a scanner and weapons but this thing comes
its invisible and is seen as a monstrous behemoth that reacts to the lasers and fence
it goes away when the dr wakes up and his daughter had a dream of it
leslie nielson wants him or his scientist to get a brain boost from the ancient labs
btw, if the lab don't age and no ones around to tell em, howe do they know the exact date the tech was made?
it could've been made right b4 he got there as a trap
or he might have mistranslated the dates he read, assum,ing they were accurate
they  get in but the robot wont let em
but the girl over rules it
the scientist tries to use the brain boost but bites it
b4 he does, he warns of monsters from the ID"
the dr b--ches about the guy getting killed and his kid decides to ditch him
the dr sez the ID is the subconscious
so the krell had their inner daemons loosed and turned into matter by their machines and killed em, like in a splattery go nagai manga
and now the dr's inner basic evil is loose icing everyone
then the monster tears through the super matter door
he tells the r0bot to kill it but the bot fizzed out cuz it knows the thing is his other self
they hide behind the super metal door (which I thought was broke b4) and he convinces the dr to let em go cuz the machine is powering this abomination
the dark other self thing reminds me of yugioh
Lesli Nielson sez people have a dark side and we need laws and religion to stay sane
the door is graduallty burned through
he does something against the monster and is somehow wounded w/o a mark
I assume his guts were microwaved
he has em set the thing to overload and they get away with the robot and girl into space as te panet nukes itself
leslie nirlson comforts the chick and sez how humans are not God
the end
that was better than shakespere since it was cool and interesting
but so was la blue girl
I liked it and think its a grand film
for forbidden planet 2 I'd like the girl living in a school to teach her about modern things and the robot is her slave. Also the dad survived by fusing with the machines into a mix of the other him, the machine parts and some cyber-daemon appearance. the robot and the girl have a connection to him and he senses em to try to go to earth as its what the space demons who made the machines wanted in the 1st place, as they had become the machines and made the story of millions of years ago as a trick to get his trust. the robot using its sci fi tech, makes armor and weapons to fight the cyber daemon since he cant kill it himself. also te girl has super powers from being made of his dna after he got boosted by the brain machine and she's part daemon and has daemon powers.

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