Shane Review

note; my typing is aids on a burger

shane

this is my review of shane

I've never seen it but I heard about it on a vid about endings people get wrong

also my mom likes this 1

ooh, its from 53

ooh

jack palance is in it

he was good in batman

noooooooo

its widescreen

what a waste

wtf

hes called "walter jack palence"

my moms uncle is called walter

but he goes by woldek(vwa dek)

also hes polish and jack is ukranian

it starts with a boy hunting a deer

a horse man comes by and scares it away

nowadays they'd complain about a kid hunting

the horseman sez he knows the kid was watchin him come

he comments on the cows

as he gets off his horse the kid pulls a gun on him

this kidf seems maladjusted

maybe some purvo b0ned him and he's scarred fpr life

wait

he just wanted to show him the gun

some guys are coming so he leaves

but 1st he wants the fam to put away their gun as he leaves for his preference

the coming guys come and they look like wasteland warriors

the leader wants em off the land and the dad disagrees

the horseman(who I figure is shane) stands with the fam and the wariors leave

if this were today they'd be a biker gang

the dad sez sorry to shane and they introduce eachother

also the gun wasn't loaded

then why was the kid hunting??

later they have dinner together and talk

a calf causes issue and the dad sends the kid to fix it

but the kid takes a while

I think he's got autism or something

the dad sez the only waty he'd leave is if the ice him

the kid hears and don't get it

my grandpa had to leave Slovenia when the commies took over

most of his men were killed by em and he went to soviet Canada and lived to be 94

as long as theres life theres hope

the dad sez another guy did something and the kid sez they kicked his teeth out

how come in kids shws you can have teeth punched out but you cant have bone removal?

in riki-oh this guy was deboned by riki-oh punchin holes in him and pulling em out

the next day the dad and the shane work all day to remove a stump

why not just burn it?

the next day this big a55 deer is on their land

he's eating the fams garden!

the kid comes out with a gun

but just sez "bang" and the deer runs off

then wishes he had bullets

the deer runs off

candya55

he talks to shane for a bit

they want shane to stay

in degrassi jr high, shane got spike pregnant and later did drugs and got brain damage

wrong shane

then shane goes into town and the kid wants pop

while working the kid pretends to cap things with  stick saying BANG

he asks dad if dad is tougher than shane

my dad can kick your dad's candy a55

then a neighbor comes by saying hes leaving

in town shane stops by a bar or store or something with some malcontents playing cards

synchro summon an archfiend synchro!

sjane buys some clothes

1 guy buys pop

the store guy wishes more guys drank it

if only he know of the cola wars

I went to refill my pop and when I got back some a55 is splashing shane with alcohol commenting on his smell

shane gets pop but is told by an a55 not to come back

her's gonna kill all of em

then b0ne and eat them

like that xxx star in Canada

later its a storm and a buncha guys are meeting

the dad introduces shane

they say they don't wanna be kicked outta their homes

shane walks away and the kid goes mental over the idea of shane leaving

the men decide to go into town as 1 group and get their cr-p

the next day theyre leaving anda guy sez

a married man has to get used to waiting for women

I know that

my mom takes forever to get sh-t done

my gf takes a while 2

they go around on a wagon convoy

they get 2 town and all come into the store at once

is this a thing on unions?

what about all the downsides?

getting dragged down with the 50.1% votes against ur will?

shane goes to get a drink and is harassed by the malcontents

shane buys 2 whiskeys

1 for him 1 for the guy bustin his a55

he splashes it in the guys face and slugs him out

jack penance takes him on

this turned into fatal fury!

they dance around then shane nails him

hane gets socked but counters

then theyre just slugging

jack panence has a high life bar

but shane beats his a55

the biker leader tries to seduce shane to his side

he offers the dad's woman but shane takes offence to b0ning someone elses wife and tells him off

the leader gets p-ssed and tells him to get out

then theres a big chaotic bar brawl

use jump kicks!

it works in streets of rage and mortal kombat

the kid tells the dad that they'll kill shane so he goes in and nails 2 guys with a stick

shane was getting held asnd beat b4 dat

they fight together like batman and robin

or the punisher and nick fury(when he was white)

the bar guy sez shane and him won

they leave and the leader (who got head hit) revives and sez hes gonna cap em

the dad should've made sure he busted the guys head open

or got him in the eye socket

that night the mom heals shane and dad

later the kd sez he loves shane almost as much as pa

if this were made today it wouldn't be clean love

later a pig farmer sez they killed his sow and f'd up his place

he's leaving

then theres a swarm of cows rinning over his plowed ground

the3 kid sez they cut a buncha fences

the kid asksd whatwoud shane do if he caught em

I didn't hear wat he sed

the kid sez; aww shaaaaane!

I assume he said B0NE EM DEAD

at home se sez he looked at shanes gun

shane sez to leave it alone

also he wants shane to teach him how tyo shoot

shaner teaches him gun basics

the kid weants shaNE TO shoot a rock

he nails it fast

like me synchro summing on on the 1st turn

the mom don't weant her kid to have guns around and wants all guns gone

but then they'd use knives

shane sez a gun is just a tool and is only as good ort bad as its user

nowadays the gun phobic message would be shown as positive

but back hen tey had brains

also

prisons have 0 guns and people are beat or b0ned dead every day

at the store/baR THE badds talk and 1 guy stands up to them

also its independence day

oh and its set in Alabama

shouldn't there be more confederate flags?

what year is this?

later its a partyand the dad sez he got married a decade ago that day

they kiss and theres a dance

shane dances with the mom

a guy sez a guy with 2 guns was hired by the leader

shane knows him and sez hes tough

like shiva from streets of rage 2 and 3

at night its dark and the fam is surrounded by guys

the leader wants the dad to work for him

he turns em doen

he also wants to but the farm from him

thern goes on a monologue about how he made this country and these candy a55es come in when the work is done

he's got some pount there

the dad sez the trappers and Indians did more b4 him

the leader sez; they wernt ranchers!

MONSTER RANCHER!!

they talk for a while

just cap eachother already!

the leader offers the kid a job

then leaves

wtf

I thought he'd cap em

later the badds want to ice the dad and need to bring him in this place

they need to do it a certain way to avoid legal trouble

later a guy goes tp get whiskey and walks careful in the mud

a baddie(oh its 2guns) waljs by and menaces

I think its jack palance

thry draw guns but jack is faster

the guy slowly raises his gun and gets iced

dumba55

if he's already got it on ja, you gotta hold off

a guy goes around spreading word the guy got capped

the new guy is too fast

they need to sniper his a55

the dad wants to go to town to face em

but the mom sez wait for back up

the fam wants to leave

wait, its another fam

the dad wants to at least have the guy have a funreal

they have it and pray for his soul

nowadays they'd avoid the Christian content

I hate how every film has a sad moment

except commando

and the yugioh movie

they talk about their kids needing a safe place to live

they get a speech

then the homes get burned down

they decide to rebuild

but they're in a field

theres no wood

the dad wants to settle it

the leader wants to bring the dad there

to ice

the kid wants shane to do something

the leader comes up and (wait, its not the leader) blames the guy who got capped for getting capped(he's kinda right)

they leave

a guy comes up and warns shane that the dads not going to a fair fight

the dad wants to go there with his heater

the mom whines against it

the kid is having an autism attack and running around spinning and saying BANG

once at the dollar store I wanted a police kid toy

but my mom didn't want me to get it if it had a toy gun

moms are so gun phobic

that's racist

the dad explains hid reasoning in a calm way

the dad sez shanes coming with a firearm

shane wants to go instead so dad fights him

if this were made today it would be a b0ning contest and whoever b0nes the other guy wins

the fight scares the animals

must be their KI

once I was at my cousins place and my aunts dog was there

I didnt move or say anything

but I had a negative thought on the dog

and it started freakin out

ut can sence CHI

in the fight shane busts the da with his gun

not capping

just beating

the kid sez he hates shane

what a p o s

shane otta cram his gun up the kids a55

shane leaves and the kid sez sorry

the mom sez the shane did what he had to do

I just realized this kid is like lynn and shane is like Kenshiro from Hokuto no ken

shane spends the next several mins riding in the dark

its just a black screen

he eventually gets there and talks with the real jack palance(the guy he fought b4 was another guy)

theres a stand off

calm v4 the storm

he sez jacks a low down yankee liar

shane pulls his firearm and caps ack palance then turns and ices the leader who was drawing

the kid warns shane and he caps a guy hiding

as shane leavesthe kid overcomes his autism and asks if the guy was wilson(and tells him he knew he could win)

the shane leaves and the kid wants to go with him

shane sez no and that he's not meant for home life

this reminds me of water world how keven iscter goes off to live in the ocean

the kid notice shane is leaking blood

shane sez he's fine and tells the kid to grow up strong and straight

shane leaves and the kid calls for him to come back

the end

I liked this film

its up there with john fords the iron horse in westerns

for shane 2 I'd like for it to pick up where it left off and shane goes to a holy place in the area hidden by illusions and bathe in healing water. he returns and finds that its been 5 years since he left as the water area has time properties and the kid is now a teen and the English have invaded america and taken over half of the country. the area he's in is on the borderline and the brits are planning to advance. also they have banned guns and only shane has a gun in the area(the brits attack in sheen numbers like ants swarming over an elephant and beat people with billy clubs).so shane leads an uprising against the oppressing people and starts his own independence day to free the west from English oppression.