Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Pillow Talk Review
note; never saw this b4. heard its good. might have typoes
this is my review of p;illoe talk
its got doris day and rock Hudson
its rated tv g?
but I heard it was a secks comedy
so we get some fun credits with people in beds throwing pillowas and a song
its got tony randell
I think he did the fist of the north star live action 90s film
man most of the words in the song are "pillow" and "talk"
then we get doris day in a night gownd
if she had longer hair she'd be good for sailor venus
she picks up da phone but others are on it
we getta cool split screen
rock husdon sings to a chick he likes
doris whines about them talking for 30 mins
I talk to my plus size gf for like 3 hours some nights on da phone
I just realized her hair looks kinda like dana sterling from Robotech season 2
the girl hes on da phone with is a europeano!
theyre now singing in French!!
find da cure!!
looks like doris hates French too as she wants to use da phone
later Doris's maid or slave or w/e comes by after a night of drinking and maybe chronic
they said she gets stoned every night
later doris wants her own phone line and whines to the phone company
phone guy sez if she were pregnant she'd be at top of da list to getta new line
she don't wanna be full of babies and hates how roick Hudson is always on da phone with a girl
and hes a secks maniac
so he's always b0ning?
I think now we call em addicts
and its a disability
later some guy named jonathan (like the guy from rugrats angelicas mom yells at) comes by and gives her a car
I think hes gay for her
she don't want the car though
later doris talks to some hag who bought a fertility goddess statue
but didn't know what it was
at least its not a phalllis monster like in Urotsukidoji
then a phone company worker goes to rock Hudson with a complaint
but she falls in love with him like with sailor venus and sailor star yaten
later the phone company sez the phone chick found the complaint to be not real
doris complains about them sending a woman to rock Hudson
if only they knew
also its implied they b0ned
rock b--ches to doris about calling a compliant
doris sez they take turns for a half hour each
but some conversations take more tha a half hour!
its like ignorant parents who think "half an hour of video games/internet is enough for the day"
why not just limit how long it takes to cr-p?
sorry son. you've been in there for 30 mins. time to come out
but daaad! I haven't even wiped!
later johantn tries seducing doris
also he has issues with his mom
but doris isn't nto johantan
they then kiss but its not good
later the maid or slave is listening in on rock on the phone
and doris tells him hes on her half hour
he tells her off for ruining his phone secks
hope he don't get hearing aids
johantan stops by rocks place
rock is a song writer and johanat is a millionare
they talk about a girl jonhathn is into
but he had 3 wifes b4 her
and he sez shes a dancer
but not a str-pper
doris day as a str-pper?!
pan from dbgt as a h00ker?!
with garlic jr as her p-mp!?
rock realizes jonathan s girl is doris day
johnatn sez how its mature to have 1 woman to be married to and not be b0ning a buncha 5kanks every night
sounds like good advice
too bad rock hudson didn't take in irl
just going out b0ning anyone he finds
that's how him, magic Johnson, freddy mercury, john holmes and Charlie sheen got da aids
kinda ironic that he said that to rock in this film
later rock calls doris and tries being nice
but she don't fall for it
later rock is with another chick
then doris is at a party and some hag I think introduces doris to her son
but she books it
man were half an hour in
that felt like nothing
later doris is in a car with the son and hes trying to b0ne her
but she don't consent
what is this?! la blue girl?!
then he drives her home
to the restaurant
and rock hudon is at the next table
and son keep trying to get doris drunk
when did this turn into law and order svu?!
they dance and rock lusts after doris day
rock chats with doris and pretends to be a good texas boy
when did this turn into giant?!
hope james dean don't come in and try to b0ne doris day in here
hes a good southern gentleman to her and takes her home
but he's too big to fit in her car
is this a car for midgets?!
he squeezes in and has 1 leg out da window
after gets in hes stuck
so they take a taxi
they get a long
a relationship built on a lie
btw this plot sounds like something outta sailor moon
back at her place she gives her her phone number and he books it
later rock calls her as texas boy and interrupts as himself
after hanging up he calls her as himself telling her not to go to dinner with texas
he warns doris that texas will b0ne her
later we get a montage of their night
afterward he stops by his hotel
but hes a gentleman and they go for a horse carriage ride
btw the director of this also did
Boston Blackie Goes Hollywood (is that a klan film?)
One Dangerous Night (horror or p0rn0 or both?)
The Web (internet p0rn0?)
Cyrano de Bergerac (phallllic nose!!)
The Secret of Convict Lake (prison xxx)
Boys' Night Out (gay xxx)
For Love or Money(h00kers)
Move Over, Darling (in bed!!)
A Very Special Favor (in bed!!)
How Do I Love Thee? (do I gotta say it?!)
after an evening roc meets johtan and makes him think hes on a date with a loser
he asks hohrnay for help but johnanth leaves
I think he did it to keep jonathan from finding out hes dating doris
after a montage of doris and rock on a date we see doris and rock talking on the phone in the tub
if it slips out of the hand and goes in the water...
he wants to meet her but shes seeing jobnathn
so she breaks the date
later doris talks with her maid/slave about the rock Hudson texas and she sez to not et him getta way
later Johnathan tries to get doris to not go with texas
later rock goes to see doris but hides in a drs office
he claims to be a patient but books it when the nurse gets freaked
the dr thinks he might be having a baby
its a fertility clinic or something!
the dr thinks rock Hudson is a hermaphrodite!!
and is interested!!
later rock calls doris and asks if texas tried to b0ne her
she sez no
so rock implies texas is queer
also a P I gets a photo of rock and jonhathan recognizes it as his best friend
later rock and doris are in a club with black musicians and everyone sings
later dos kisses rock and goes to the powder room
then jonhathan comes in and tells rock t skip town
is he gonna kill him?
he leaves and rock tells doris hes going
he wants something but is nervous
she sez theyre both over 21
21 is the age of consent?!
so is 19 the same s 9 there??
he wants to run off with her
at home they pack and rock calls doris asking about texas
jonhathan sees rock drive off
but later hes got doris with him
doris thinks about how this is the best guy shes gotten
has she been b0ning lotsa other guys?!
then the radio plays a lovey song
later jonhathn goes to see doris but finds shes left to be with rock
later doris and rock are in a cabin in Connecticut
rock goes out for firewood and doris plays the piano
when rock gets back he's humming the song
she recognizes him and books it
as shes heading 4 da door jonhathan comes in and outs rock Hudson
but she already knows and they leave
thy stop at a diner and shes upset
did she b0ne him?
he slaps her to calm her down and some thugs slug him out for it
later rock chats with joihnnatn and he feels bummed
he actually cares for a woman more than just b0ning her
doris comes in to give johnathn a painting but sees rock and books it
rock follows her into the ladies room but books it
then bumps into the nurse on his way out
the dr wants him more as he may be a hermaphrodite
later rock meets the maid/slave and she likes him as she heard his phone secks
they go drinking and she outdrinks him
she sez to hire doris to decorate his apartment
he wakes up the next day and jinhathn as there
I think the maid b0ned him
he calls da boss to hire doris and when she comes over he sez he was expecting her boss
hes got many switches that control door locks, beds and a record player
when did this become family guy!?
he wants her to make the place like she'd want it
she sez he's gotta move out if she redecorates
she books it
at work she whines about his secks pit apartment to a coworker
we getta montage of rock saying sorry to women he b0ned and doris buying lusty cr-p for his place
later he goes in and finds his place looking like Austin powers place
rock goes up to Doris's apartment and carries her back to his pace
didn't this happen in nami sos when sasao took nami Koishikawa and Chisato Yamane into the demon space and they got b0ned?
the elevator guy is moved by this and asks out the maid
the doris asks a cop to arrest him but he knows rock and sez its cool
why was rock and doris in separate buildings?!
I thought they shared a phone line!!
why would 1 phone line be in several buildings?!
so rock brings her in his secks pit apartment and sez he anted to marry her
he broke up with all his other chix for her and now she's gotta live in his place instead of him
she locks the door with a switch and sexy music plays
later rock goes back at the building to tell jonhathan something but the dr and nurse get him
he sez hes gonna have a baby and they bring him into the fertility clinic
that was actually pretty good
good color, music, lighting, acting and story
its fun and not really graphic
all the b0ning is offscreen and theres no swearing or gore
its like an episode of sailor moon without the sexy monsters and nude transformation scenes and miniskirt teens
but that ending implies some crazy cr-p
what were they gonna do to rock Hudson?!
for pillow talk 2 I want it to pick up where the 1st left off and the dr is doing fertility experiments on rock Hudson. he thinks hes a hermaphrodite and tries dna and fertility treatments to get him pregnant. but it turns out rock really IS a hermaphrodite, which explains his lust and the dr's experiments cause him to have pregnancy's all over his body. he keeps trying to escape but the dr just impregnates another area on him each time to keep him from escaping. turns out; the dr is trying to breed a super human race of hermaphrodites to take over new York and rock was the last piece he needed to make em. also its a puzzle game of the dr doing dna puzzles like tetris or columns or dr robotniks mean bean machine where you match dna bits and clear the screen of dna there to create super hermaphrodites and a bones round of injecting rock with the DNA to get him pregnant with em. also capture levels where you send the nurse in cyber armor to catch him when he escapes.