Sunday, June 24, 2018

Breakdown Review

note; never even heard of this til I saw it was on tv. don't expect great speling
this is my review of breakdown from 1997
ooh its by aaron spelling
he did 90210
so this has kurt russel from the thing and escape from new York
it starts with credits while a car drives in some mad max desert h-llscape (I think soviet californa)
kurt drives
this is how the hills have eyes started
he looks off da road for a sec and a car drives in front of him from nowhere and nearly kills him
this is why I don't drive
1 mistake and everyone on the road goes to h-ll
at a gas station he talks to a cowboy
its the guy he nearly killed
kurt leaves and his woman bought junk food at da gas shop
1 item she got has a contest
if u win, u get either 90 000 $ or 90 000 donuts
does kurt ruissel like fat chix?
his car then f's out in da road and his 80s brick phone has no signal
they reveal they r changing jobs
the cowboy drves bu then turns around at em
but a truck comes by and cowboy books it
this is just like wrong turn
but less inbreeding and cannibalism
so far...
trucker sez new cars often overheat when pushed too hard
wife goes with trucker to a diner to call a toe truck
later kurt notices his car has a cut wire under it and fixes it, which fixes the car
why is wires to the engine hanging under da car?
he goes to da diner but no one seen his woman
this is how twilight zone eps start
he tells to if they see her to tell her hes looking for her and to stay put
then goes to da next town
on da way there he finds the truck but it wont pull over
after nearly hitting an RV, he drives in front of truck and makes him stop
but trucker sez he never saw kurt b4
kurt gets a cop and they tell him their thing
cop chex the truck but its empty
kurt freaks out and checks da truck
cop sez kurt maybe got trucker mixed up or kurts wife ditched his a55
trucker leaves and cop sez to kuret to see his deputy in town to file a report
man, we're 30 mins in with adds
but not much happened
he goes there but finds they cant do sh-t for him
he goes back to the diner and the owner sez ne didn't see her
a redneck has him check the girls room and he finds a drunk possible h00ker barfing
kurt snaps and checks owners order slips w/o consent
so owner pulls a gun on him and kurt leaves
why he pull a gun for dat?!
an inbred guy reveals he saw kurets woman in a truck with a guy up by da river
and da cops  in on it
he drives and talks on his cr-ppy celphobe asking for his homie to get f bi help
but homie don't care
he comes 2 a fence and cowboy comes at him with a gun
so he drives through da fense and through woods which ae in the desert
he nearly crashes into a construction thing and drives off a cliff into a river
better have his car go to beast mode
cowboy tries to j fk him bt he ditches his car and swims
then he goes through rapids
good think he's snake plisskin
he gets away and another trucker comes by and gets curtes car
kurt then is k o ed by inbred guy and wakes up in a car trunk
cowboy and a blonde guy have him at gunpoint and want a lotta cash from him
his woman sed they have much cash and hes a donot king
he sez its 90 000 and they want him to wire them the 90 000
the big boss sez they called in a fake accident and heres only 2 cops in town
it'll take 50 mins for him to return and that's how long he has to get a dough
he does 1 thing wrong, they chop up and mail her to him
at da bank he wants to advance his credit the whole 6000 $
and his 5 000 in da bank
but the limit is 500 for credit
he almost tells this turtle looking bank guy but this redneck comes by and sits near him
so he just sez he had a car thing
this is pretty good
turtle guy uses the phone and kurt goes to the toilet and nealry gets a plunger to beat guys wth
he gets a pen and some paper at turtle guys desk an leaves but hears a pay phone
he answers it an sez he got all 90 000
phone tells him to get in a coming car
he walks and is carrying a bag
cowboy in truck stops him and he gives da cash
then tapes kurts hands and drives with him on the front floor w/o a seat belt
kurt uses the letter opener her jacked that I thought was a pen to cut da tape
cowboy notices something with da money and kurt shanks him in the neck with the opener
I think he has a buncha doller bills inside and a big bill outside
if this were in soviet canada there wouldn't be doller bills and all the money is colored different based on value
he tapes cowboy to the seat by da neck and drives and stops to kinda lynch him to get info on his woman
shes in a truck with some guy
a cop pulls over kurt and makes him lay down but cowboy gets out and caps cop
but cop caps him back
cop call in his capping and kurt books it to save his woman
he goes to a truck stop and theres too many trucks
he finds big boss and hears him on da payphone saying to bring his woman as he heard the cop say shots fired and redneck is late
kurt hides under big boss's truck and crawls under it as it drives
his gun falls out of his a55 pants
then he spidermans on da side of it
good tension
btw this plot is a lot like that Schwarzenegger film made 12 years b4 this commando
later big boss stops at his farm and he has a woman and child
he seems like a nice dad
gives his kid a swiss army knife
kurt ides in da barn and the other guys come in
they say they got a couple in ohio
they bring out klurts woman in a sack and she thrashes around
they lock her in the celler like evil dead 2
they go but kurt goes through their stuff and takes a gun
he goes in their home and therres someone playing doom
he confronts the homies and sez dads a killer
but kid comes in and holds him at riflepoint
dad eggs kid to ice kurt but kurt kicks the gun and it caps a homie
inbred guy runs and kurt has em free his wife
she was in an icebox
big boss seza hes gonna get kurt so kurt kicks him out and locks em in the celler
the blonde inbred guy gets the baddz out and kurt calls da cops
1 guy drives a truck through the trai;ler home kurt and woman hide in
they get out and drive off in a yellow truck
inbred blonde comes at em in their car and another homie in a cr-ppy car
they ram eachothers cr-pmobiles and inbred blonde gets blown in a car flip
big boss in his truck chases em on a bridge and is pushing em off it
they pinned on the rail of the bridge and womans leg is caught
so kurt gets out and fights big boss in his truxck and it goes over the bridge
they climb up as truck dangles and big boss ties a chain on his arm and whips kurt
kurt pulls chain and bog boss falls and bites it
kurt gets woman out b4 the car goes over the bridge(the car doesn't fal)
wife pulls a thing and truck falls and crushes big boss's bod
wasn't he already dead?
u wanna set it on fire next?
the film ends with them hugging in the middle of nowhere on a bridge
the end
the woman was in the hills have eyes remake
to quote jack skellington; how queer! and who would ever think? and why?
but this was pretty good
good suspense and tension
good flow
good pacing
good acting
good stunts
and the good guys intentionally ice someone
its like a less violent commando meets the hills have eyes
kurt russel is pretty cool in here
not as bad a55 as snake or Macready
but more realistic
i'm glad I stayed up til 4 am to watch his
and theres no lust or gore
well... on the fox 29 ver anyway
for breakdown 2 I want it to pick up where the 1st left off and they are in the midle of nowhere and the woman is crippled from her leg wound. no one knows thy are there and kurt russel aint leaving his wife after the 1st thing. so they need to go back together. as he cant break metal, he uses the remans of he guy under the truck to make weapons and a splint for his woman and bone armor incase they run into anything. on the ay back, they are stalked by the kid of the guy under the truck who wants to ice em for wasting his dad. the rest of the movie is a survival horror cat and mouse as the kid keeps trying to cripple em so he can torture em dead as he's snaped after finding out his dad was a killer. its also a 32 bit survival horror game on sega Saturn, n64 and playstation and 3do and you gotta get across the desert and take out the kid with his various animal homies

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