Monday, December 10, 2018

Danguard Ace Review

note; my email is f'ing out as I use internet explorer and yahoo is too gay to use it anymore. so expect typoes
danguard ace
this is my review on danguard ace, the compilation movie of the 70s show
i'm not sure if this was in theatres but my homie sez so as Gundam had movies made of tv eps
it was part of force five which was a bunch of mech anime that aired on tv in America in the 70s or 80s or w/e
I know little of this but my wisconsion homie who got me to do Turkish star wars wants me to review this so here
its created by leiji matsumoto and music by shunske kikuchi
kikuchi did music for dragon ball, dbz, getter robo and sakigake! otokojuku
so after opening credits to zany music and edited in titlecards, main guy is getting a dr check up
he looks like the kid of kouji kabuto and saint Seiya
his name is winstar
his gf is lisa like in the room and Robotech
they get a signal and its the bad guy
their outfits look like Robotech II the sentinels
winstar goes out in a jet to whimsical/heroic music
he talks to the jet but the pilot bashed him and theres a chase through a canyon that independence day ripped off
somehow the bad guy gets away but he landed at the good guy base
the pilot sez he hates commissar krell like they do and wants to join em
winstar don't trust him and pilot has a metal mask sealed on his head
wont that kill him from his pores being shut off?
also krells men mindwiped him so he don't know who he is
then this 2.5 foot tall scientist comes in and they use a scanner to see if hes telling the trooth
he is
the 2.5 guy looks like groucho marx with his hair, face and cigar
they unseal a memory of him going into space on jets and he was hit by a blast from a golden ring
star fox 64 ripped this off
it made him blow out his team mate and he blacked out
he woke up in a cave and krell is there and wants him to work him for him
he turns krell down and fights robots as he tries to take out krell
but they put the mask on and zap him
later he fell and his mask antenna on his mask broke
he snaps other masked guys antennas and they escape
but most and zapped out
looking at video of his memory the good guys find the bad guys used ships the earth sent
meanwhile, krell plays on his huge organ and chats with his monocle minion who he puts in charge
so bad guys send a robot and it attacks the good guys base
but it has a shield
just like in Mazinger z
and regular pilots don't stand a chance
so mask guy and winstar go
wtf they call him mr x
is this mega man 06?
so winstar wants to fight head on and mr x wants to use strategy
they go into a canyon again to fight
they use a team attack where x blasts it and it opens its mouth, then winstar fires in its mouth and it blows
btw momocle and krell are totally not dr h-ll and baron Ashura from Mazinger z
on the way back the sun is going down as they were out flying in circles for the rest of the day and winstar respects x
but cant ask for teaching cuz he was a j-rk off to him b4
later they're building danguard ace and mr x is their new instructor
and hes now captain mask
oh and the commander of the base with the beard is like captain gloval from Robotech a bit
so mask chooses the best pilots for the anguard project
then they train em hard in a rocket sled and simulators
not gloval (who's named cross like the violence jack and maziger edition z the impact guy) narrates over how mask trains em
later captain stache (with 1800s facial hair) comes in and does a Nazi salute to krell
in Yugioh they censored the atlantis knights raising their hands by glowing em over to avoid that
yet in the 80s kids werent weeners
even in the 90s they had grampa fight hitler in hey arnold
stache wants to lead the attack and krell allows it
also shache totally isn't count brocken from Mazinger z
later another robot comes at em pioleted by stash and mask fights him
p0rn0 stash fires 2missiles and mask runs from em for a while as stach's robot heds for da base
stashes robot looks like that getter 3 getter robo forme
winstar goes out but stach bot regrew its missiles and fires on him
winstar blows out 1 missile and him and mask get their missiles to hit eachother
then they fly and get the last missile to hit stach bot
stash bot blows and stach flees
after the fight mask is p-ssed at winstar for going against orders and winstar thinks mass grudging on him
but then sez winstar did well
an unspecified time later dandgarde ace is finished
mask ramps up their training but 1st dr sez its f ing em up
good f--k the dr looks like ham from the simpsons(the ham radio nerd)
so the training takes out 1 guy in a snow accident
hes ok
another guy gets taken out in a training drone accident
is this final destination?
only winstar is left and gets to be the pilot
oh good f--k no
William winckler did the new dub of the show according to woikipedia
his dubs s-ck
even with good actors like Robert axelrod from Robotech and power rangers
so they test it going to robot mode out of 1 space jet that splits into 3 then reconnects different
it uses photon punch (not photon beam or rocket punch from mazinger z ) but winstar s-cked at it
meanwhile, krell had moncle capture 150 scientests for their plan and krell wants 1000
hope he don't get juzo kabuto or professor asuka(ryo's dad)
ooh or takeshi Kisaragi
so they attack the international science thing and winstar wants to go on his own in dangards
mask comes too and they go there
a robot that has nipple guns takes out human soldiers on screen (like Robotech ) and makes a clone of itself
wistar chases it but its an illusion
mask takes on real robo but cant do cr-p and gets shot down
cross orders winstar to help mask
why didn't mask just pull rank and tell winstar to pull out?
also mask is out cold and the jets on fire
he saves mask and the jet blows
also its sundown as he spent 3 hours going through the burning jet
the ambulance takes care of mask and the nipple bot comes after em
winstar faces em but they use illusions
he eventually uses a pulsar cannon (a chest burst that's totally not mazinger z's brest fire) to cear the fakes
then a buncha cool cr-p to beat it
he goes home and hears dukes ok (you'd get this if you saw g i joe the movie)
so mask busts his a55 over being glad he won a battle he screwed up a lot in
if I misplay in Yugioh but still win against a tough foe i'm happy
mask is just a hard a55
later krell busts his Nazi salute troops over not beating dangard
moncle makes hypno gas
later winstar goes to see a movie with some kid
lisa sez he let his last win go to his head
so mask hits a switch and closes the gate winstar is gonna go out and he nearly crash up
could've killed em all
he goes up and mask wants him to train
danguard looks like a cross of Mazinger z and Voltron
while training a bad guy squad comes over
this turns into Thunderforce IV Lightening Force as he uses a swirling shot and takes em out
but goes through hypno gas
he goes to land but the base is f'd
mask has winstar choose what to do but he'd all f'd out
koji I mean winstar goes in and it plays good 70s horn music
he finds cross who sez mask betrayed em and the training was to keep em away from da base
winstar pulls a gun on mask but don't know who cap
then he jumps and caps cross who's really stash in a disguise that blows off in 1 hit
winstar knows they call mask a captain and stash didn't
they fight through robots and get back in dangerd
and the base is really rocks
and the illusion wears off cuz of masks instructions
that makes sense
well, not really
as they take off a thing comes outta da ground and winatar evades it cuz hes not overconfident and has adrenaline
they transform and fight a digging robot
but get caught in a bottomless swamp and get blasted by the stach digger
they use the javelin that's totally not Grendizer and tick the digger as it pulls em out
mask recognizes stach and tell him to tell krell to let em alone
but he attacks em and they fight
they overpower him and flip his digger but he ejects b4 they blow it
Lonestar learned a lesson about overconfidence and they go home
later butch, the big guy who's between boss from Mazinger z and ben Dixon in Robotech is reading the newspaper he jacked from the cartoony robot and saw a guy flew a jet between 2 buildings in a city
after 2001 they cant say they anymore
also mask wants more pilots
the building guy is tony rocket (which sounds like a p0rn0 name) and looks like roy fokker from Robotech
mask has em see tony do his building stunt
then tony does air stunts like rick and roy in Robotech
so tony does an epic stunt and mask asks him to join em
good f--k tommy salami has a bad accent
next day tony Curtis comes by with mask
wtf butch's a mechanic and named butch Norton(like the anti virus softrawe)
mask tells wingsaber tony is after his dangard jorb
later a scottsman comes by named paddy so I guess hes an Irishmen
paddy was the biplane pilot who is realy good
hes a nice guy
hope he don't bite it
later they fly jets for training
but its going too far and mask don't let em stop
tony Zamboni seems like kind of a butt pope
they play chicken with the ground I mean sea and windstar blows out his arm pulling up
dr chex him out and hes just sprained
mask benches wingo and the other 2 are given the position
meanwhile krell wants super valerium and sends him homies to take it
its super solarium
I cant understand his bad accent
this spike ball hands robot that looks like a bioroid from season 02 of Robotech comes by and dangard with tonu and patty comes after it
wtf solarium is from mines?
toni toni chopper goes in ahead and winstar/butch go out
bioroid takes down dangord with its spike ball on chain hand and they fighrt on da ground
dangard gets f'd up and loses a leg
so tony ditches it and dangard gets more f'd
winko arrives and finds it
somehow the jet carry's this hulking robot on 2 fan propellers and they get it to base
tony robbins wakes up in a metal room and slams himself against the walls
hes caught by monocle and told to work for him
winstar wants to go out to find tony but mask wont let him
so paddy joins him and they go
they fixed it that soon?
but its leg was torn off
also mask's mask is f ing him up
meanwhile or later, krell finds his thing he wanted isn't ready and he blames stashquatch
so he uses a sword and slices off his face hair clean w/o blood
and monocle is now in charge
then tonu is taken to this ice base see the high status guy col haken who whips him for not saying col
hawken looks like hyoga from saint Seiya or ryo from Devilman
hawken shows tonu the base and tonu wants revenge for being whipped
he wants to return to base and be an hero
he blows other ships hes with and flies off
and hawkin passes the buck to stache as hawkin is only responsible for his men
the bioroid comes outta the ground as I guess it was there the whole time and attax tony salerno
and right then dangard arrives and winstar recognizes his air moves
they transform and toni sez hi then gets blown to dust
see you in h-ll tony
actually a kids show killing a main guy onscreen is pretty bada55
so they fight and dangard busts the robot as stash flies away
then dangard goes after him and finishes him
see you in h-ll stash
and a main character purposely killing a bad guy is too much for todays candya55 generation
even in power rangers the bad guys are just robots or aliens
was this guy human?
looked and acted human to me
so they find tony and hes not dead
he tells where the bad guy base is and later fly off saying the training mask put em through was just what they needed
I guess tony bit it offscreen
they go home and we get credits to funky 70s music and movie maker effects
they even do an xray shot of the robot like Mazinger z
the end
that was actualy pretty good
it condensed the story into a good film
the acting and writing was well done
the characters were good
the animinaton was well made for the late 70s
its sort of the bridge between Mazinger and Robotech/macross/Gundam
like ghost with demi moore or the 1st ninja turtles movies were the bridge between the 80s and 90s
I liked this and even though I never saw force five I thought this was cool
put it on the history channel
oh and good music
and good action
they'd censor the h-ll outta this if it were released now
for danguard ace 2 I want krell to release his moat powerful forces and even dangard ace cant stop em. but a new robot was made that combines as armor boosters on danguardace and its flown by lisa and butch as its got simpler controls. also it can detach and assemble on its own to fight as a robot. and krell takes it into his own hands as he fuses with the tech and becomes technorganic and can control the machine he is as fast as we do our arms. also its a 2 player beat em up on sega genesis, super Nintendo, turbografix 16 and atari jaguar and you play as the robots beating up other robots in citys. oh and tony is back as a cyborg and struggles with his issues of being stronger but less human.

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