Friday, April 3, 2020

The Boss Baby Review

note; i spell like baby but maye good
the boss baby
this is my review on the boss baby from 2017(The years robotech battlecry on gamecube happened in kinda)
its based on a book i never read and is directed by Tom McGrath who did the madagascar movies and mega mind (which i never saw)
it stars commie a55 alec baldwin, tobey mcguire from the good spider man movies jimmie kimmel from some crp, lisa kudrow from some cr-p, steve buschiimi from fargo, and Edie Mirman from Digimon and Robotech
i never saw this b4 but someone liked it as it ot a tv series later
so it starts with this wiener kid beating up a big blue ape but its really his dad in a phantasy
after more imagination he sez he had a great time with his rents and they worked for a dog company to market dogs
but his dad b0ned his mom pregnantand we see babies going through the hall of souls from the seventh sign or the kingdom of the future from the blue bird and its a big a55 assembly line b4 they are born
1 is tickled and dont laff and is put in management and goes to a cubicle
then in the human realm the baby comes over in a suit in a taxiand dances to p0rn0 or blaxploitation music
so the baby is in charge of everything like how kids own everything now and the adults are their slaves like in that urotsukidoji thing
except the kid who still plays make believe like hes mr rogers
so kid dont like baby and thinks something up with him as hes got a breif case and wears a suit and the rents are too stoopid to get it
oh joy, another thing where the kids are superior to adults and adults are idiots
this is why so many 20 year olds chose to never grow up and stay at home with their rents and spend all day watching p0rn0, smoking chronic and j-rkin off on the floor
the trudeau style
so when the rents are asleep, id sees baby talking on the phone and saying he's got a mission
he admits he can and is da boss and is cocky and a jacka55
totally not like the real alec baldwin
he tells kid its time to move aside for the next generation (like meilennials say boomers otta) and ow kid will have less love and if kid doont stay otta his wayy, kid gets fired from the fam
hes confusing love and time
later, this totally not Galfdalf from Lord of the Rings alarm clpck gives him advice and tells him to get evidence of the baby talking
is this real or just in his mind?
so he goes down and this armyy of babies captures him but the rents just thin its a play date
baby has a meeting with em and the fat one shakes a rattle to block the tape recorder
turns out, puppies are taking over peoples love of babies and the puppy company is gonna poop out a new mocdel of dog to replace babies
soiler; in japan people dont have kids but get dogs as its easier than being a real parent
and in asia they eat dogs
i wonder how the korean version of this was recieved
kid gets a recording of baby saying rends making them play is humiliation but the babies chase him
how are 1 year olds beating a 7 year old?!
are they that good or does he just s-ck?!
so after an action scene, abby gets the tape and it turns out its mostly make believe and not a high octane chase
kid uses action hero moves to get back the tape and kid and boos go thorugh a window as rents see the chaos in the backyard
after a chase and a hostage situation with a toy lamb who's head comes off, kid is gonna launch baby out the window but rents come in and only the tape gets shot out the window and is run over
the 00s guy who played batman in the chris nolan trilogy said he wanted an r rated cut of batman begins
imagine an r rated cut of this where the baby gets spplattered in the road?
so rents are mad at kid and sentence him 2 3 weeks inside with the baby
dont drop the soap
so later baby goes to see kid and comforts him in his room and sez hes from higher up
after thinking he's Baby Jesus (which wont make sense as He died at age 33) they suck pacifiers and teleport to babyland like with la blue girl or urotsukidoji or constantine with keanu reever
the kids cant see or hear em and kid whispers that his rents told them of b0ning but babies really come from here
after the baby gets his pacifier removed they forget about the baby corp
also they take magic baby formula that keeps em babies forever
so after his mission is done hes gonna go back to baby land and his boss runs around yelling that if they dont get the problem fixed in 2 days, baby will be fired
and if he gets fired he's gonna be a real baby and grow up like peter pan did in hook and stay with the fam like buzz light year in toy story
so kid and baby choose to try to get along but they still clash
kid reads baby hansel and gretal and baby sez he wwas never tickled and was born growed up
he never knew love and turned into alec baldwin
later its take ur kid to work day and baby wears a dog costume/fursuit to fake being a dog to go under cover
they find the file for the new puppy and swap it out with a same weight thing but baby drools on it and it triggers a trap and the dogs get them
wait, itd the boss of the dog company who is really the best boss the baby coompany had and got decroded as the formula didnt work on him as he's lactose intolerante and got replaced by someone younger
they sent him to urth and he wants revenge for being rejected like the female supreme Kai in dragon ball AF by making apuppy that never growws up
and now he has boss baby's eternal youth formula and is gonna finish his forever puppy
and he gets the kids rents outta the wayy byhaving his goon look after em and sending the rents to vegas to get aids
and they go backk home and without his youth formula baby turns into a realbaby
kid makes fake puke outta baby food and blasts goon to freak him out and lock him in the potty
the run from him in a chase and baby calls his minions who help in a comic fight/chase and baby gives kid advice
kid jumps a train on a bike and they get to da airport but baby spazzes out for a bit
they just miss da plne and all looks f'd
they fight amd kid wishes baby was never born and baby walks off to commit seppuku
then the announcer calls for tim to get the phone and its baby who sez he wasnt born but hired and he needs kid to save the day
then an elvis impersonator swings by and they jck one of their costumes and sneak on da plane to vegas
they go on 1st class which is empty as no one can afford it and they fake being the captains kids
kid gets baby to fake being a pirate and they image an adventure
so in vegas they scam their way to the puppy convention thing or w//e and baby spazzes out a bit
goon follows em and boss sees em a the nveiling of the forever puppy and the kids find the forever macine in a rocket behind the show
after beating goon they are stopped by boss who sets the rocket to launch and tries to get kid to see they are the same as they got replaced by babies and they clash
kid gets knocked off a ledge but swings baby up who knox boss into the formula
they gotta save the rentsand kid throws baby to open the hatch to let the rocket puppys out but baby goes aspaz and cant jump back outta da rocket
gotta have a last conflict
so kid sings to baby and he jumps and rocket goes off and kid gives baby the maic formula in the vat but boss comes out as a baby again
goon takes him awayto raise him right even though hes still got all his memores and kids save their rents who were locked in a box
so later baby sz bye to his homies and fixes kids lamb toy and is gonna go back and everyone will forget he was there
so baby goes back and kid and baby miss each other and kid writes him a letter and sez he misses him and wants to give him love
baby goes  back through da machine thing and returns to da fam as the baby
then kid as an adult is telling this to his daughter and baby is still in a suit and throwing money around like joe kennedy trying to get his legetimate son elected and kid now has a 2nd daughter in a suit
the end
then creditsto a song about the world needing love and carton imagination adventures of baby and kid
tommy wiseau; if a lot of people love each other, za warudo would be a better place
that was pretty good
it was fun and colorful and upbeat and mild
the bad guy had good points
the theme of getting dogs instead of kids is important cuz some people think its an equal substitute
i thought it was good lite fun with some good moments and not as bad as some say
its a cgi movie based off a silly kids book. were yu expecting gone with the wind or birth of a nation?
for the boss baby 2 i want the new generation of babies at the end of the 1st movie to face off against a now 30 year old bad guy from the 1at movie who is making a device that will mutate all babies into weird john carpenters the thing like abominations so their rents wont love em. but thats really a decoy plan as he's planning on taking out the baby origin place so theres no more babies. and the kid from the 1st mocvie's daughters gotta stop him. its also an 8 bit sega master system and gam grar, nes and gameboy, arari lynx and 7800 and tg16 game where you play as either the baby and get gadgets or the kid and get better movement.

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