Note: My spelling is 4 da birds
Bird Of Paradice
This is my review on Bird of Paradice from the disatant future year of 1932
its based on a play and direcyed by King Vidor who did Bardelys the Magnificent, The Big Parade and LaBoheme
it stars Joel McCrea, Dolores Del Rio and Lon Chaney GX and was done by David O Selznick
I never saw this b4 but in Inuyasha was Yokai caled birds of paradice
so after really silent film seeming credits, this boat full of white straight adult living human men goes through rough waves and coomes to an island and the natives come oit to greet em in canoes
the guys hit on em and they dont sppazz out at men finding em hot cuz they aint feminists or commies
the saiilorsthrow cr-p in da water and the natives get it as they think its cool
then a shark comesd by and a sailor saves the natives by throwing a rope with cr-p in it to catch it but it drahgged over
a native chick wjjo caught a knife thrown over uses it to cut the rope on the guys leg and saves him
after he comes to hemeets her and she speaks soviet italian or w//e and at night they are on da island amd havve a dinner
its revealed the natives ritual saccrifice their women to the volcano too keep it happy
nowadays we see this as mental, but with nerds saying carbon going from 0.002 to 0.003% in the atmosphere (the 50% increase) then the whole planet will f--k out, its easy to see how some people can believe silly things
at the dinner 2 guys like eating it but don't when they find its octopus
You neve had Takoyaki?
I never had octopuss but had squid, crab and shrimp
so this chickk dances and falls but when a guy catry's her off, the nativvs spaazz out as only the pronce can touch the kings daughter
is this one of those inbreeder islands?
same family marriage is equal marriage
lateer main guy sees hero girl who saved him swimming, oh wait, its the primncess too, and goes swimming with her in his undies
good underwater scenes for the early 30s
good tropical music too, sorta like spongebob
is she swimming nude? she's got a big a55!
so she leaves da water and he pins he ddown and shhe struggles
no weinstein!! i dont consent!
she ggets into it and the kiss with consent
da next day da boat leaves and captain butt wipe sez main guy stayed ehind and they'd gget him on da way back
the crew guy packed him a bahg of cr-p and the native kids f'd it up
then main guy takes a motorboat wiith the natives canoes and a title card sez when flying fish show up the natives have a carnival
according to candman 2; carnival means farewell to flesh
oh the natives are catching fish jumping outta da sea
and main guy uses a ttennis racket
princessdrags his boat back by a rope in her teeth and on da islannd is a clearing in da jungle witrh roses
she gets him on da ground and wants him to strugleas they make out
but b4 they b0ne, a spear lands by em andnative ghuyts swarm him, yell in soviet irish, and leave
later msin guy chases a bird or something anf catches it and this geezer gives him a leaf wiith cr-p written on it like goku's grpovery list in dragon ball super
using drawimg in the dirt, she tells him princess is gonna marry a prince
he spends several mins getting across te island (is this where wonder boy aka adventure island got it from?) and gets to her as she is driven off in a boat
he sez in english he wants her to stay with him like she can understand butthe natives tie him to a tree for some S Before M
geezer unties him ad he gives her a record player for a canoe and chocolates up his skin with some dark goo
at the other island she does a dance in a circle of fire and main guy is there and just cuz hes got filth on him they don't know he's white
he saves her from da fire and dries off in his bat boat to paradice, a seculeded island near em
while there they teacvh eachother their languages and i think she's not wearing a top, just flowers over her t-ts in a necklace
he climbs a big a55 tree and cuts the trees nuts off to eat
she busts the nuts and feeds him the juice inside
tom hanks in cast away; coconut milk is a natural laxative
me; they'll be sh-tting everywhere!!
so it rains and they hide under leaves ans he wants to make a house
its like naked and afraid if they didnt suffer from cuts, burns, scrapes, dehydration, infections an parasites
better known as; dante's inferno gx!
a new generation of naked people suffering
so he buils a house as hes gota knife and its better than those rotting naked and afraid guys ever did
remember the guy who a wasp stung in his man thing??
man; ohh! its really swelling up!
imagine if he got a b0ner and it ruptured!!
so they have a pet goat and shes learning english andhe wants her to come home to civilization with him
but she kknows she has to be ritual sacrificed to stop the volcano from erupting
he tells her of his 1st world life and she finds it amusing
imagine if she did go there and it was like encino man
so the volcano is spazzing out and she's worried if she dont jump in it, then it wiill go off
meanwhile, he's out at sea, butt hammering a turtrle and riding it like a boogie board
he drags it on land and when he comes home he finds his pet goat was j fk'd and his woman is out
then the ground splits where he is and steam comes out
he sees boats of the natives leaving to go back to volcano island and takes his canoe and gives chase but narly gets sucked into a huge a55 whiprlpoole
use a lapras with the HM whiprlpool! then you can get to th islands ith lugia!
ooh, he went down da drain!!
wtf he escpaed the whirlrpool even though his boat went under?!
no! thats not possible!
after mythbusters, manswers and 1000 ways to die, i dont know whats possible anymore
so he gets to da island and swinds from vines like he's tarzan boy ocver lava
the floor is lava?!!?
so he goes to rescue her and gets shanked by spears and swarmed by natives
they eat him alive as they tear chunks of flesh off and devoir it whole
jk thats sudddenly last summer
they tie him up and she's tied up too and sez they gonna feed her to the volcano fro her sins
shes glad she knew him and he sez he loves her and the cheif sez their volcano is mad at him and they gonna ice him
he says their god is not real and The Lord matters and he starts praying
nowadays this would be shown as bad or not be in there at all
so they kiss and the natives carry them up to be sacrificed but the sailors arrive and cap some of the natives and they scatter
later the sailor scouts are treating the main guy and he's gonna be ok
so the crew talks on what to do about the princess and most say its not good for them to stay a couple
she sez to main guy (named jonny lik in the room) and she wants to save him and her people come bby saying unless she goes with them, main guy gon go to h e double san fran sisco
so she sez bye to him by putting fluids in her mouth and kissing it into him and its kinda touching
she goes back with her people to be ritual sarificed and we get good dissolve cross editing showing her walking and the volcano
the was actually quite good
nice romance and story
good music and editing
King Vidor does it again
he was great at these movies
and he did the kkansas scenes in the wiZARD of OZ
good b/w fullscreen class and heart
truelly a well made film
for bird of paradise 2 i want him to wake up and find she has slipped her soul into him wuth that mouth juice kiss and now is with him in his soul.as she dont have a bioy, they meet in his dreams and have fun sexy random adventures. also itts an 8 bit platformer on nes, gameboy, master system, game gear tg16 atari 7800 and lynx where you play as the guy and/or the chick and do varuous kinds of gameplay like abobo's big adventure