Sunday, July 4, 2021

Support Your Local Sheriff Review

 Note; i spell sherrifian

Support Your Local Sheriff

this is my revuiew on Support Your Local Sheriff from 1969

its directed by back door Burt Kennedy and stars  james gardner, harry morgan, bruce dern, chubby johnson, dick peabody, dick hayes (is this a p0rn0?) Walter Brennan from bride of frankwenstein, Sergeant York, The North Star, Henry Jones from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Arachnophobia and Willis Bouchey from Panic in Year Zero and Kathleen Freeman from Batman Beyond, Shrek, Joe Dirt, Babu Genuioses, Naked Gun 3, Little Nemo, The Fly (50s ver) and Cry Danger

I never saw this b4 and never really heard of it til today

So it starts with a guy being buried and no one knows him as he was just there 2 days and bit it of some disease

a chick noticvces gold in tthe grave and tthey all satart digging

its a mad mad mad mad world

so we get credits to people rushing overalso this film is wiidescree and color

so the town devolved into mad max and the town council guys don;t like it

thery give 20% of all their diggings to a fam as they own trhe area the gold is shipped through

so jimmy gardner cokmes ro town and at a card game2 guys fitrre and the people tallk over who shot 1st

jimmy sez the guy faked drawing with 1 arrm, and grabed his piece with trhe oter and caPPED HIM 1ST

so then outside a fight breaks out as jimmy eats

on a muyddy road pople fight and a chick falls in the mud face 1st

bimmy sees a sherrif wanted sign and goes to inquire

he talks over the details and sez he wants it to be a tempo job b4 he goes to soviet australia

he shjows his skill by throwing a thing up andshooting through the hole in the center 2x

he hears the jail dont got bars as tey aint coiome in yet

so tea gardner goes out and hoses off the mud fighters and sez hes sherrif

he tells em to tell this guy hes under arrest for murder and everyone thinks  this s the end od earth worm jim

jimbo wants  toi arrest the guy who did the arm tthing to cap the guy and the guy from MASH trys to get him not to but when jimmy sez he'd quit, col potter backs off

this chick in a tree is being weird and a  lady sez she got her hair caught in an iice cream freeezer

so jim goes too confront the card shgooter but people behind him are capped by a guy with f'd eyes as thdy were gonna back shot jim

so they bring card shooter to the barless jail asannd f'd eyes is gonna be his deputy and jimmy tells card shooter to pretend there are bars

what is this? mr rogers? doing make believe?

also theres a blood stain on the floor and jim sez its from the last guy who went past the fake bars

so jim wants to hire f'd eytes for deptuty and they talk abiout uminy wanting to go to sooviet australia  and f'd eytes dont get it

later he tellds f'd eyes that eyes needs to improove his aim and puts nails in wood to hammer in with gunfire

card gunner trys walking out but jimmu catches him and takes him back as card gunner sez his brothers are gonna get him out

also he sez the capping was either him or the guy he iced

also jimym sez he took the guys bullets when catching him but only tkes em out after returning them to the CELL

so chick is cooking and her dad harry mrogin and having drinks with jimm and talking about how things are going good

col potter worrys about trhiungs bercoming normal and making the h00kers go tro church and stopping the b0ning

she comes out with dinner and her dress caught fire and jimmy splashes water on her a55 and she thinks hes feeling it and spazzes out

col dordo from baoh sez his daughter will get the rights to the gold mine aND SO WILL THE GUY SHE MNARRYS

so later the card troopers fam comes by and tells jimmy to let his sun out at gunpoint

so jimmy puts huis finger in there like its bugs bunny and makes the dad stop

in mythbusters, its revealed that would bow his hand off

dads malcontenty over there being no bars and card gunner whines like a kid about how it went

dad has enough of his sh-t and kills him

jk really he lets him stay in jail and is shocked the f'd eyes red dragon  is deputy

later the fam is talklking about what to do and his sons are dumba55es who dropped outta grade school

later jimmy and chick sit on a swing bench and she trys to explain how she was weird b4

she thinks hes sexy and dont want him thinking shes nuts and he sez he thinks shes prttyy but that he's going to soviet asutralia and might not stay

she b---ches out and goes back in for no reason

later jimmy goes to use dyno mite and look for gold but find jack sh-t

f'd eyes archfriend dragon thrtows dymno mite in da water and it wastes fish and he takes em out to eat

jimmy g boy sez card gunner is cained to a stove and they talk about how to split da gold

f'd eyes synchron reveals he has exp with horses and his dad was strung up fgor stealing horses

imagine wild west yugioh where if you steal cards you get strung up?

back at the jail they get the bars in and jimmy talks to card gunner casually about giving his deputy a message

like its andy griffith and otis

som a guy calls out anfdy i mean jimmy and is about to cap him but jimmy draws 1st and wastes him

then a guy walks to a building and tells chick he's gonna be right out

he goes in, gunshots and walks out and bites it and andy friffith i mean james gardner comes out

f'd eyes guardian tells jimmy another gunfightern came in and he goes out

he sees a stranger and they go to they town road and b4 draweing, jimmy throws rocks at him and he runs

good twist

so the dad and bros are planning what to do and 1 bro looks like the biker guy from honey i shrunk the kids the series

so the night time at then the fam trys to pull the bars off the wall by tying ropes and running on horse

but they tied the ropes on themselfes and fall

dad yellls at card gunner for helping the jimmy durante put in the bars and f'd eyes Cyber Dragon comes by and dad storms off

holy cr-p we're almost done

just like 20 mins lift

that felt like nothing

so jimmy olson is on a ride with chick and she sez the dad is rounding up a force to bust card gunner outta jail

he suggests skipping town and she thinks its mature and he misinterprets this as her thinking hes a coward

he changes his toon blue eyes white dragon to defence mode and is gonna stay

the town council votes to not interfere but chick comes in with a shotgun, fires a shot and objects

she ass who's gonna help jimmy rolfe and they say its not that simple

she reminds em how mad max the town was b4 him and calls em candya55es so her dad, the maypor throws her outta the town meetuing shed

she b--ches to jimmy about it and f'd eyes DarkLord sussests going to australia with jimmy but he has a plan

so the badds come to town and a big a55 GUNFIGHT breaks out

chicj is snipering guys tro h-ll and jimmy comres out andf says "hold it"

they stop until he says "go aHEAD" after goes behindsome logs

more gunfire and they see the card gunner tied to a cannbon and juimmy and f'd eyes by it

he tells the homies to surrender or he blows card gunner a 3rd and 4th a55

what a good guy

they surrender and he lets them carry the card guy away

he sez he just stuick a fake fuse in it and lights it with his smoke

it goes off and blows the h--kweer place and the town councio comes out after b0ning these chicks

later the town celebrates the sherrif jimmy and hes sez he wantsa to go off

then chichk is riuding a spazzing horse as guys throw firecrackers at it and he helps her and sez shes his girk

he sez after they get married, he's gonna go to soviet ausztralia

she saez shes THE richest chick in the country like bluma in dbz and f'd eyes Sphinx sez they get married and he never goes to australia  but f'd eyes becomes a famous westers guy

the end

that was fun

goes by at good pace

has flow and dont drag

is UPBEAT AND DON'T HAVE A FORCED SAD MOMENT LIKE austin powers and the cat in the hat to ruin the film

its up and bright and sunny all through

glad i saw it

it holds up and is enjoyable

Also the australia thing makes me think it ootta crossover with quigley down under

for Support Your Local Sheriff 2 i want him to go to australia and gets lost after his group is attacked by a pack of Yowie and he and his woman team up and fight through the wastelands of auatralia to get out. Its also a 32 bit Light Gun Game like house of the dead on Sega Saturn, PS1 and 3DO where 1 player is the husband and the other is the wiofe and they fight auistralian cryptids

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