Saturday, September 11, 2021

Phone Booth Review

 Note: i spell like we still had phone booths

phone booth

this is my review on phone booth from the diostant fuityure year of 20023 (A year after that mission to find tghe mnolith and a year aFTER RIKI-OH THE MOVIE)

ITS DIRECTAL BY JOELK SASCHUMACHER WHO DID THE GAY BAtman movies, The Lost Boys, Flat;liners, A Time To Kill, The 2004 Phantom of trhe Opooweera  and The Number 13

man, most of those were a55!!

wtf this was written by larry cohen who did bone, God told me to, Its Alive 1 2 and 3, The STUFF, A Return to Salem's Lot, Cellular and other good cr-p

it stars colinb farrel, fiefer sutherland, forrest whitajker, katie holmes, Radha Mitchell from Silrent Hill, Tia Texad from From Dusk Till Dawn and Batman Beyond, Richard T. Jones from Judging Amy and Event Horizon, Josh Pais from the 1st Ninja Turtles Movie, Ben Foster from X Men 03 and Warcraft and a bunxhga guys i never heard of

I saw this b4 and thought it was good

In high school there was a play by the drama class of it and I loved thew Tourettes guy in it parody

so after credits through clouds to space to show a sattelite made of 00s cg and going to soviet new york

everyones on phones and steve jobs hasnt earned his place in h-ll by blighting us with the iphone

a black guy narrator telss 00s trivia about phone stats in soviet new york and  how 2 million people still used payphones

in 1 phone booth thats gonna be taken out tommorrow and this is the story of the  last guy to use it

colon filthg i mean feral is making deals and fast talking while his overworked slave i mean tries to handkle his tasks

he truis working with a white rapper big q whos not as cool a vanilla ice and chats with da cops

then he gives a godssip of a producer's woman going into ehab and wamts help with something

so threy go by a place called marios (Sonics is better) and mnario is disgruntkled over not giving him enuff money

colonb sez he'ds give him business and mario is cool

so colon ditches his minion and goes to the slums in a phone booth

a pizza guy trus to deliver him pizza but colon dont want it and swears at him

pizza guy is disgruntled and goos oof and colon calls katioe homles (the son of john holmes?) andf talks about mel gibson wanting someone for his new filme and invites her over

shes busy and he hangs up but the phone rings and  a voice sez he shouldnt have turned down the pizza

he's watching colon and knows his name and addesss and colon thinks its an actor he tirned down

voice sez he's gonna ay hi to his wife and colon hangs up

so he stands for a few sewconds and spazzes out and eventually the phone rings and its da voice

man kiefer was in a bunch of shumacher cr-p

colon wants to help him get work to appease him and voice calls k8y and sez hes colons homie and letys colopn listen but not talk

vooice tells k8y colon uses a payphone as his wife chex his phone bills and he inviotes her over to b0ne her

a h00kere trys to get in da booth and ghets b-chy when he wont let her in

voice wants colon to call his wife and h--ker comes back and gets b--chy

voice wants colopn to tell his wife he trued to cheet on her  and colon calls her and wife sez she was called and told colon would call her

he wont admit t and the h--kers swarm the booth to b0ne in it and he tells em off

colon has enuff AAND Is gonna go but voice sez hes gonna wastye him with a sniper rifle if he does

colon dont beliebve ity but voice clicks his gun

colon sez if he fires the cops will come butvoice j fk's a toy robot by colon and no one cares

a big black guy comes by and colon gives him 10 $ so voice wont j fk hm

voice sez he iced a german xxx guy who was pedoo and a ceo who jood a buncha guys with stocks he sold b4 they fell

is this how saw happened?

the h--kers guy trys to gert  colon out and colon gibes him 120$ to gtfo

he wants more and gets b--cby and gets a basebnall bat and busts open trhe booth and attacks colon

voice sez if he hangs up its over and voice can stop h--ker guy and colon sez yes

voice j fk's h--ker guy and colon sez he meant yes to "i can hear u"

the h00kers b--ch out and voice sez this is colons fauilt for not respecting h---ker man

colon yells at voice and voice sez how he watches people but looked into em outta curiosity and saw their evil like the xxx star or ceoo

colon callls the cops and slips em info by telling them  his situation and voice niucks his ear as he bugged the booth and kndw everything and heard the cops on the end

the cops come and voice sez they wont fire as theres a toiuruist with a video cam

the cops (forrest whitaker from battlefield earth) tell him to hang up and he sez no

vice sez he was in nam and colon sez he can majke it into a good story

buit voice sez he's joking and is too young for it

forrest gump sez he wants to help and the h--kers sez colon has a gun

forrest gets too close and voice might icxe him but colon sez its his shrink on da ohoe

nathan bedfoord forrect reads him his rights and voice makes him ask if he was bad in bed and after his wife left if he j-rks off

voice asks if he can get big news guys to interview him and reveals he knows he aint as big as he thinks

richard t jones cop and forest copfigure they can wiretap the call but not listen in

colon sez the victims dont get famous and the killers do

voice could be the next gacy buyndy or dahmer

yeah kiefer! dont u wanna be the next gacy??

a bigger rank cop comes by and forrest t jones dont wanna hand over command

colons phone ringsd and voice sez its probably his woman

but if he gets the phone the ops will ice him

colon seez his woiman in the crowd and figgures its voice and he admits it

woman tells forrest ham her colon is not in therapuy and a man called her

forrest tells them they have his wife but he denies its her to protect her

forrest ranger sez colon asked for a lawyer but wife sez they dont have one

voice talks about how sexy womewn wanna be noticed and starts coming onto her

voice sez colon betrayed her by lusting after other women and that he's set up the line with cr-p to keep em from finding him

voice gets f'd out abotu colon not talking to him but its a fake

voice tells colon to admit his sin of lusting after another woman tto his wife anor he'd ice her

colon admits it and woman dont care and just wants him to come out

voice sez he's not letting colon go and colon spazzes out and hangs up

da phone rings and he goos oot and da cops want him to thrhow out his fun

forrest level sez to answer the phone and he does and voice sez he';s gonna forgive him

and he cant know the pain of betrayal until he's betrayed

colon sez he's gonna run and voice sez he can target practice on people

voice has him look up and theres a gun in there and as the bullet gragmented in the guy, they can't match it

voice reveals he's in this room with pink curtains and if he wants to, colon can try to ice him

colon sez if he tried the cops wiuld ice him and voicer sez he's not really there

katey shows up and voice makes him take down the gun or vhe'df ice her

then voice is gonna ice either of corlons women and colon has to choose

huh, colon feral is thew pengoin in the batman and was in the 00s daredevil movie

colon crouches and calls the cop and admits that theres a sniper and forrets green hears

he tells the cops what to do and goes to help the colon feral

and subtly lets him know he's aware that its not him whoos icing people

voice wants to j fk ilex forrest and colon tells him to gtfo

colon is told to bare his soul and confess his sins infront of everyone

colon whines aBOUT how theres worse people thasn him and voice makes him tell them

he admits to be a p o s and leads people on and ttreats people liek cr-p and lies and he's fake like his watch and he took good stuff forgranted and takes off his wedding ring to call katey and never told her he was married and he dont have confidence in his real sel;lf so he puts on an act

good acting by colin ferrel

wait, stu sheppard?

like bruce banner, matt murdock, peter parker, ect

the cops track the call to wife to a place near here and colon taunts the  voice that the cops are comming for him

coive sez if he;'s going down hes taking wife with him and colon grabs the gun and runs out saying "take me" and gets capped and falls to the cold ground below

the cops bust into the room and find a body with his throat sliced

colon was nailed with a rubber bullet and gets to live

i like how the cops are the good guys here

his wife makes out with him and we can see down her shirt as she bends over

they show the bvody and its the pizza guy

colon gets a sedative and in thew ambuilamcne he sees starts tripping and kiefer comes by as he's spazzing out

he sez sorry about the pizza guy but needed to cover his trascks

now colon is free and if he isn';t honest, kjeefer will return

and how if a phone rings its best to anweser it, but u never know ewhos on the other end

then we get a look throught the phone grid and a reverse of the opening where we saw the sattelite

then kiefer cals a guy and he answers

the end

that was quite good

its inspired by hitchcock and it works

its only like 80 mins and is done in rreal time and has good bible themes

For it is written: If anyman looks at a Woman with lust ion his heart, he has commited ad-ltry of the heart

and the bad guy isn't evil, but putting him through trials to improve him

Colin Ferral isnt evil, but making bad choices and needs a wake up slap before he goes too far

There's no real "bad" guy but flawed people

I liked it and its well done

Larry Cohen did well as usual and Jorl restored his rep aftyer Batman Forever

its sort of like Saw where a guy puts people through h-ll to improve their lives

but less torture and deboning

i liked it and it showed what good joel could do whn he tried

for phone booth 2 i want it to be about a media guy targeted on his show and kiefer makes him addmit he lied about the news to do stuff to get people he didn't like out and support those he liked to bring in a new black ewra thast he'd pull the strings on. also after he admits it, the people don't believe him and the media guy sends his goons after keifer and he's gotta jack baur his way outta em to face him. also its a 16 bit run n gun game like contra on sega genesis, snes, tg16 gnba and atari jaguar where you play as keefer and go around levels taking out the media guys goons and the bonus levels are flashbacks to getting him to admit his crimes and you gotta blkow off small parts of him when he resists.

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