Game Reviews Volume 19 From 2021 And 2022

My thoughts and experiences on games I beat and tried to beat from the last part of 2021 and the 1st part of 2022.

Just beat Taz-Mania on my 100 Genesis 100 Master System Games Sega Genesis Multicart. Its a Sidescrolling Platformer based on the Fox Kids show. 1 button is jump, 1 is spin and you can use the spin to jump further. Its 5 worlds with 2 acts and a boss in each but if you run outta guys and use a Continuer: You start the whole level over. I game overed 4x and didn't run out so you may have unlimited Continues but only really need em in the last act of the last level as its got a lot of water that kills Taz. You pick up and eat anything like chicken or 1 ups or asplosives and those last ones damage you, but you can also destroy any of them with a spin. The bosses are not tough and just need you to dodge their attack and nail em 5-20x. Its not a hard game and you have a life bar that is refilled by eating chicken and a power bar that refills fast but you need to wait half a sec to refill it. The control is mostly good but can be slippy and hard to manage like thinking you're going too right so you press left then you go that way. Its not bad besides that and the pits and lava end you in 1 touch, so not being able to look up/down is kinda iffy. Its got decent graphics that are better than NES and nice music thats got that classic beep bop boop people think of video games with. I hear there's a genesis version with a bad minecart level but that ain't in here. Extra guys come back after you bite it so you could get 2,suicide, then get em again and grind for em. also you get a free guy every 20 000 points and points only come from having a lot of life and time left after beating a level. Its a decent game and if you want something not too tough besides the last arc of the last level. Glad I did this one. I liked the Fox Kids show in the 90s and while this only has Taz and mentions his dad, is like it a bit.

Just beat Kamen Rider for SNES on my DS R4. Its a 2 player beat em up based on the series that became The Masked Rider in the 90s on Fox Kids.  B is Jump, Y is Attack, X makes you Transform into The Masked Rider and when you take out a bosses life bar; does the finishing move, L and R  can be used to assign auto combos in the SSI System option  before you start the game. Theres 3 Continues and you can have up to 5 guys but theres a Password in Japanese Letters so Learn Japanese Ya Gaijin! If you bite it you pick up where you left off but go back to Human Forme. You can transform into The Masked Rider at any time and if refills your life bar and makes you stronger and gives you new moves  like a speed kick by double tapping left/right on the D Pad and hitting attack. Some parts are tricky and if you wait til you're too low on hits to Transform you could get it as you gotta be standing still to do it. The graphics are well done and it controls pretty well. The music is good and has that Tokusatsu feel with horns. I hear you can't get to the final level unless its on Normal or Hard so avoid Easy Mode. There's mini games that boost your stats like the Bulldozer that you gotta spam buttons to stop before time runs out. I just use 1 finger rubbing on the buttons back and forth until its over. The worse you do getting to the boss. the stronger the boss gets with a longer life bar shown by colors changing at the bottom of the screen. Its a pretty good game and has nice cutscenes drawn from the show. No one talks about The Masked Rider anymore but I have a few faint memories like Dex tossing the salad at a restaurant and being triggered by snails being eaten. Once my fam got a new plunger and before it was used: I pretended to pull it out of my torso like The Masked Rider getting his Sword. Glad I played this.

Just beat Scramble Spirits for Master System on my 200 Sega Genesis and Master System Games Genesis Multicart. Its a Shmup where you play 1 or 2 players to bust like a half dozen or so levels. You get like 5 lives and 1 Continue but the game can be beat in like 20 mins. Its in the start of the 21st Century and a global war lead to peace but aliens came. So its Robotech. You but it in 1 hit and can get Options like in MUSHA that go on your left and right wing areas that fire. 1 button is fire and it blasts in front of you but theres a falling shot that hits ground units like tanks and boats. But you gotta keep tapping it or get a turbo pad. The other button fires your Options out as an attack that nukes the area ahead of you and sometimes they survive and can be recollected. You can't pause so if you got an itch, you gotta tough it out. Its got nice 8 bit graphics and the music is fine. The controls are decent and sometimes you get mini levels where you go in low and take out enemy craft in a zoomed in thing where the Options fly off and return later. You gotta take out as many enemies as you can and there's usually 30 or so that can't end you but their shots just stun you. Its just for points that I think may give an extra guy but it don't show how many guys you got until you gut iced, and only for a bit. The bosses are big and it helps to make it there with Options but if an Option is hit; it bites it. The enemy shots are like Yellow or something and can be seen against the background. Overall its not bad and can be beat after a few tries. Glad I did this one. Oh and the bosses are pretty big and cool.

Just beat Monster World 4 on my 100 Sega Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its the 6th Wonder Boy game and kind of follows the last one as in 1 book in 1 room mentions the last hero of Wonder Boy 5 Monster World 3. You play as a green haired chick dressed like Bulma from Dragon Ball in that Aladdin outfit. C is jump, B is attack and A calls your pet. You can use it to hand onto and jump of of to get more range. You collect these blue things that look like magatama beads in Shaman King on GBA and every 10 you get gives you ban extra heart. You get a row each of red  and blue hearts as a life bar and the bluer hearts are auxiliary power. You get red hearts by buying new armor and can get a better Sword by buying it. If you bite it you go back to the last save but if you have a Potion and the pet you can revive after falling. Its got great graphics and the music is good and it controls really well. You can do blade tricks like holding up or down when you jump and attack and you can heal by finding herbs or hearts from dropped foes. After you clear an area its done and you can't go back so you can miss things like health upgrades or gold and not get em. Once I beat a monster and the Blue thing was in the floor and I couldn't get it. Its best to play this with a guide so you know all the hidden areas. There's good puzzles nd its usually not to complex and has some good story and twists. Its probably the best Wonder Boy game I played. It holds up and had heart. It made getting this 45$ Multicart worth it. Glad I did this one. Oh and it was remade on the Switch and other things but I never tried those.

Just beat ToeJam & Earl  on my 200 Sega Genesis and Master System games Genesis Repro Cart. Its a top down game where you play as these 2 90s style Homeboys From Outer Space who gotta rebuild their Space Craft and Escape From Planet Earth. You can change  the controls but 1 button is Map, 1 is Open Items Screen and 1 is Action which activates the item or holding it lets you sneak around to not wake up Earth guys. There's a randomizer option and a Fixed version that changes if the levels and Ship Parts are in the same or random locations and in Fixed you gotta do 25 levels. You get a few lives and no Continues and get more with more points. Points are gotten by uncovering the Map by walking around to the unknown squares. In some levels is the Ship Part and get all 10 to beat the game. Also is an elevator that sends you to a higher plane and you can fall off and have to climb back up by using an item or finding the elevator. You get Items from Presents found on the ground or bought and after you open 1, all of that type is listed on the menu, although there's a randomizer that mixes em up again. Some are bad like School Book or Raincloud but others like Rocket Skates or Doorway or Icarus Wings can get you out of a Jam. Some enemies are rough like the Boogie Man or the Lawnmower Man or the killer bees as they can shove you off the edge that normally you just spazz out on if you get too close. Some areas only appear when you get close to em and some ground thats close to each other can be walked by. The Boom Box stuns enemies and Doorway teleports you to a random area. Food recovers Life and you get extra guys buy point I think. Get enough points and you Rank Up and get a Title like Homey or Poindexter and the higher rank: The more life bar you get. The Telephone shows random squares and at times  is seen in the field. There's vending machines to buy presents from but sometimes they attack you. Its a good game and pretty clean and 90s. Glad I played it.

Just beat King Colossus on my 100 Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its a top down Action RPG like Zelda or Illusion of Gaea where you gotta save the world from this wicked god. Which is kind of a twist as usually you side with some pagan god to do some adventure. A is Magic like Time Stop or Invincibility or a Magic Attack which uses Magic Points. B is attack and C is jump. You get Exp and Level Up which boosts your stats but you can also get items like rings and pendants and bands that boost stats and change your weapons and armor for better stats. You get a good variety of weapons like a flail or a crossbow or spear and each do different things. Its got a good story that had some plot twists I didn't see coming and has a bit of platforming that isn't too bad. You can save at almost any time and continue where you last saved when you bite it. There's some minor puzzles but its usually getting the right item somewhere or going the right way. If some guys are too tough you can just wander around and level up fighting the resummoning guys. Enemies drop Hearts that refill life, Invincibility things, Red Orbs that fully heal you, Blast Spheres that blow open rock walls like Zelda, and Keys to Open Doors. Its a pretty good game and you have some freedom of where to go on the map, but often you gotta do the current quest. There's no money or Overworld so you just choose where on the map to go and go there like Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. Its a pretty good game and has nice Graphics and Music. This was from 1992?! Its not bad for that era. Its a bit gritty in color and style but holds up well. Glad I played this.

Just beat Fighters Destiny on N64. Its a Sorta 2D but 3D Fighting Game where you play as 1 of like 9 people and fight your way through the rest, including a Mirror Match, then get to this boss who looks like the bad guy from Urotsukidoji II. A and B are Punch and Kick while using the D Pad lets you do different attacks, and if you do 1 attack, then a certain other one, like a Low Kick attack and Low Punch Attack, it changes it up. I used the German girl as Eric Carle is from there kinda. L and R and Z do things like block and you can do Throws and Grabs. Instead of just beating out a Life Bar, you gotta do things to earn points like Counters, Throws or Ring Outs, and 1st to the Chosen point total wins the fight. If time is over you go to Judgement and get scored based on who did more damage. You can change the Controls and how many points each thing does, how much time you get, and the difficulty in the options and can unlock other characters by doing thing in the Gameplay. You get infinite Continues and its got good 64 Bit 90s Graphics and a cool Arcade Announcer Voice saying 90s things. Its not too hard and is a nice game you can beat in 1 sitting. Good classic 90s style and its nice to use a D Pad on N64. Glad I played this.

Just beat RoboCop Vs The Terminator for Master System on my 200 Sega Genesis and Master System Games Genesis Multicart. Its a pretty good 8 Bit Run N Gun that you can't pause where you start with 7 guys and no Continues. I played it on Easy and it was still close. Its got good graphics and the music is good, but its got pretty impressive Voices for 8 Bit. 1 button is Jump and 1 is fire and you aim with the D Pad.. Holding Up as you press Jump lets you do a Higher Jump and you can't Jump Down by Holding Down and Jump.  There's a few extra guys around and a fair number of Life Healers, plus in some levels are tired up guys who Heal you when you touch em. There's also Temp Invincibility and a variety of Weapons to use that you lose when you bite it and can only carry 1 at a time. Iced Foes don't come back and if you bite it you resummon where you fell. You have autofire by holding the button but do more with tapping fast (Or use a Turbo Pad). A few levels have floors you can fall in the gaps of and I think it wacks you and sends you to the start with all felled foes staying gone and some floor things end you in 1 hit. Some levels have doors where you press Up to go in but its not always easy to know where it is. Its pretty good and by Virgin Games who did great 90s things. There's a Score that does nothing and some turrets or rocks on the ceiling spray bullets when blown. Glad I played it. It holds up.

Just beat the Master System version of RoboCop 3 on my 200 Genesis and Master System Games Multicart on Genesis. Its a pretty good Run N Gun game with 2 Shmup levels that can be beat in like 20 mins if you know what to do. 1 button is jump, 1 is shoot and pressing down and jump makes you cycle through your weapons. You get up to 2 Continues with up to 5 guys each and no way of getting any more, but there's Life Refilling Power Ups around. You have limited Ammo and its refilled when you bite it. You can collect new guns and in the Shmup levels you gotta collect Power Ups to increase your Pea Shooter. In the 2nd Shmup level 1 button fires ahead and the other drops shots ahead of you like TwinBee where you have tanks firing on you. If you bite it in a level: you go to an invisible Check Point with all Collected weapons refilled but using a Continue sends you back to the start with the basic Pea Shooter. Getting Iced in a Shmup Level has you continue where you fell but using a Continue restarts the Level. The bosses are often just moving around and blasting them at the fight time and the Ninja Robots you gotta move away, then towards and when they jump and swing the Katana: You turn and cap em in the head. Enemies can drain you as there's no invincibility when you get hit, but shots vanish after nailing you. Quite good Graphics and the Music is really well done. It controls fine. Its by Flying Edge who is LJN and is based on a Movie Sequel, but its actually not bad. Worth a playthrough if you want something quick to beat. Oh and holding attack lets you Autofire but its actually good and is as fast as hammering the button. Glad I did this one.

Just beat Trouble Shooter on my 100 Sega Genesis Games DS Multicart. Its a Shmup and 1st in the Battle Mania Series where you play as these 2 Anime Chicks and fly around in Rocket Packs with blasters and go through 6 Autoscrolling Levels. 1 button is fire, 1 flips which side the other girl fires in, and 1 uses a super weapon that needs to recharge for a bit after use but can be used whenever you want. Only the blonde counts for getting hit by stuff and instead of Lives, you get a health bar and 2 Continues. Biting it has you restart the area and costs all Power Ups but you can find more as the level goes on. Good graphics and music and its got an good sense of wit and charm in the story and writing. Before the 1st 4 levels: You can choose 1 super weapon from 4 and they have different effects. I played it on Easy and it wasn't so bad but took a bit of getting used to. It controls pretty well and there's Hearts around the levels that heal you and can increase your life as its just done with numbers instead of a bar. I'm not big on Shmups much but this one was pretty good. The whole thing can be beat in under an hour if you know what to do and has a good vibe to it. Glad I played this one. Its Anime style and has a sequel that improves on it.

Just beat Masters of Combat for Master System on my 200 Genesis and Master System Games Genesis Multi Cart. Its a Fighting game where you play as either a Ninja, A Mega Man Reject, A Wanna Be Iron Man and a Fat Hairless Mexican and after beating all 4, plus a Street Fighter Beat Up A Car Level: Fight an Alien. 1 button is Jump and 1 is Attack and Spazzing on the D Pad does moves I don't know how to do, even with looking up a guide. I used the Ninja and he does little damage while the enemies do much more. The foes are fought in Random Order but get tougher as you go on and you only get up to 3 Continues and can't get more. There's no options to change the Controls, Time or Number of Rounds and while you can play it on Easy: Can't face the Final Boss on it. But if you get a High Score and put in KEY as your name: Other Options are opened and you can play on Extra Hard, Faster, or 1 hit mode where the foe has 1 hit left from the start. After beating all 4 guys in Easy and trying on Normal: I used the 1 hit mode and went Kenshiro on em, Then for the game boss: I didn't attack and survived the 99 Seconds after a few tries and won as a way of being fair. The game has really good graphics with bright well done colors that could be an 80s/90s Genesis Game and has nice music. It controls kinda iffy as the Jump Button and Left/Right makes you Rush that way. The only Move I knew how to do was the Forward and Jump then Attack fort a Rush Punch. If you could play it in Easy or had more Continues it would be more fair, but as is: Its not. Often I get looped and the foe burns through me and by the time I'm allowed to move: I'm stunned and he gets Another free hit. It looks good but the Gameplay could use some Tuning. Glad I played it but its either too hard or too easy and has no balance.

Just beat Zoids Densetsu on my 108 Game Boy Games in 1v Multicart. Its kind of a Shmup  based on the Toy Line 90s Kids called Technozoids. You get 5 Continues with 3 b lives each and no way to get more. Each Continue has you play through the same order of 3 Zoids where the 1st bites it in 2 hits, the 2nd gets it in 4 and the 3rd has a full life bar of 6 hits but you can collect L power ups to get an extra hit and W power ups to increase your number of cannons. If you touch anything, you take 1 point of damage and your powered up weapons go down by 1 cannon. The controls are kinda loose and wiggly and it takes getting used to if you wanna avoid slamming into walls and burning through your few life points. You get to play as either the Empire or the Republic but that just changes the graphics and sprites and has no real impact on the game.  Each time you start a level you gotta sit through 8 seconds of a Stats Screen that hays how tall or long or heavy your zoid is and can't skip it. If you bite it: You go back to the start of the level, even if on a boss. There are 4 Bosses and you fight em on every Even Numbered Level and its just the 3 Zoids on the Team you didn't choose, but they are always at full Weapon and  move in a Preplanned way. The last boss is a colossal Zoid with a bunch of cannons and can only be beat by blowing em all. But 1st you gotta go through this ordeal of a level with only aa few Life ups and 1 Weapon Boost so unless you can do it without taking a hit: You won't keep it. B is fire but there's no Autofire so you gotta keep tapping that button. A is a Special Weapon that differs between the 3 Zoids: A 1 shot homing missile,. A Napalm that goes in an arc and poofs ahead and is useless, and  a Screen Nuke thats actually good. But you gotta Collect SW power ups and if you bite it: Its all gone, But you can carry em from Level to Level if you survive. You cant use em on Bosses but they can help a few times. The graphics are basic but not bad and the music is kinda nice. Its pretty hard and cheap but can be beat in under an hour if you can make it to the end. Plus the 1st Zoid is pretty useless as it bites it in 2 shots so you'll just screw up and restart the level in a few seconds. You can't pause on Bosses but can on the Game Boss. The Bosses  follow a simple pattern so its not tough to beat em but the game boss is rough with his maelstrom of shots. After a while its Horn Cannon stop firing for a bit and can be taken out so its best to focus on the Jaw then Foot, Then torso ones before moving to the higher ones. I'm glad I beat it but probably will never play it again.

Just played Mario Kart 64. Its not as good as I recalled. Its a 3D Racing Game where you play as up to 4 of 8 Nintendo guys and go through tracks based on Mario things. B is brake, A is accelerate, Z uses an Item, R is a small hop and the A Stick Steers. I was trying to beat it but you can't get the credits on the 50 CC and on 100 CC you gotta get 4th or higher to advance. You can get a Start Boost by pressing and holding A as the 3rd Light on Ready Set Go comes on. I used Peach and she's kind of a lousy driver. Often I bump into things and can't turn from them in time. If you hit a Banana Peel you spazz a bit before spinning out a second or so later. Some levels have you going up a slope and if you fall off: You go to a part you just were and are now in last place with no way to win. Also you can't just restart the race as you can either Continue or Quit. So you either slog through an unwinnable race for another chance, or restart the whole thing. It saves your Trophies and each Cup is 4 races where the top 4 get points. The better you do: The more points you get. Whoever gets the most points at the end of the 4 races gets 1st place. Win all 4 Cups on the right CC and you beat the game. I beat it on 50 CC but its not enough and I'm not sure if 100 is enough or I have to do 150. Also my TV has bad Brightness so even on full stats: I can't see where the road is on the Boo Level and keep falling off. If you fall off, a Lakitu puts you back but often in last place But if I were to try it on 100CC or more, I couldn't try to beat that Cup by coming in high in 3 races and last in that one. The graphics are N64 Good and the Music and Voices are nice. Also there's nice touches like the sound of the kart on the Wood Bridge in the Ice Level is different than the Ice. You gotta follow the path and there's a few hidden or branching paths, but its usually a straight way. I think I preferred Sonic R more. Its not bad but kinda annoying. I sorta regret buying this.

Just beat Power Rangers: Super Legends on DS. Its the 15 year anniversary game and has you playing as different Rangers in different series fighting  various guys and fight over both screens like Contra 4 but the area between en is unseen. A is laser shot that stuns  guys but takes out flying guys, B is jump, Y is punch/kick and X is sword. L you hold and put in the on screen buttons to power up but I never used it and R + X is a screen clear that uses Purple Gems you can have up to 3 of. There's also Shmup levels that are simple and you use A to blast and Y to nuke and you fall in 1 hit and lose your power ups but can have a Shield. You can hold A to autofire. Then there's the Boss Levels where you use the Megazord and its from a 1st person (And never see which Zord you are using) view where you  use the Touch Screen to fire lasers at the foe but can't overdo it or it needs to cool off, Then when the boss is hit in the right places enough: it faces you up close where you slice the screen to Sword and draw a Circle to shield. If you bite it on a boss you just redo the fight but if you run outta guys (You always start with 4 in each mission) you restart the mission. Beating it without getting iced gives you a gold medal and each guy you use lowers the rank. Its kinda simple and the game explains in text scenes what the new powers you unlock do and how to do new abilities. If you hit enough of the enemies in a row you get a combo thing that gives you Purple Gems around 20 and beating a guy. The Zedd Putty's gave me issue as it never told me how to beat em and I had to figure out you have to tap them when they fall and the target goes on em.. The bosses have a pattern and you can beat some in loops with jumping and doing down and X to make a shock field and jumping away when they attack. Lothor teleports in the same pattern each time so its not hard to learn. Beating guys drops thing you collect to get more moves and stronger attacks. Its not bad and has nice graphics and fine music. Its not great but  Ranger Fans will enjoy it probably. I beat it in around 8 hours. Glad I did this one. Oh and you can wall jump and grind like in Mega Man X and can loop enemies by holding down and pressing Y over and over to Break Dance beat them.

The Thing Below Review

 note i spell like aa cr-ppy dreamcast game

The Thing Below

This is my review on The Thing Belkow fropm 2004 (The year some Robotech Comics happened)

Its dfiredcted by Jim Wynorski whos a polish purvurt but makes good movies like Munchie, Ghoulies 4, Deathstalker II, Dinocroc Vs Supergator and a bunch of p0rn0, Oh andf Chopping Mall

It stars Billy Warlock friom Halloween 2 and Baywatch, Warren Christie from 1 ep of Flashpoint, Catherine Lough Haggquist from Alone in the Dark, Glori-Anne Gilbert from Sub Zero and a buncha guys IO never heard of

Its infamous for its really bad CG that looks like a bad 90s Arcade game

I've seen it before and its not awful but is so bad its good

So after footaGE OF an aircragt carrier and people walking arouindf to creitds that looiks like a bad 90s show, something blows and we get a flasdhback to 16 hours b4 wherte some gov guys talk about some ship that went missing

btw this is widescreen so its black bars

so off florida this research ship is in a storm and these nerds scientists are in it and looks like rudy gulianni and thery have this thing they got from the depths in a glass thing

the general in the base dont wanna tell the guy doing compurter sh-t for him what the cargo on the ship is and the captain on the ship wants to change course but is toold hes not allowed by a gov guy

btw by florida all kinds of weird cr-p happens, and its on the opposite side ofnthe planet as the devils sea of japan

so the storm rocks the boat and the nerds carrying the glass tube that looks like that thing that blows in Sonic Advenguire 2 battle drop it and it breaks

this Sega Saturn CG things grows and extends a tentalce out and goes into a guys gut, then out his mouth than strangles anopther guy as the scientyists watch,m then run

its so unreal its funny

1 nerd is punched into an electric thing and bites it and the 2 survuiving nerds  hide in a room and sprting the alarm and radio the captain

they see a nerd on the outside of the door weanting to come in and not gulianni opens it for him, only to see he's full of tentacles that get him

remaining chick nerd springs the alarm and the ship blows in a fireball xl5 and i guess it was the self destruct thing

the general wonders whats going on and wonders why the ship vanished and calls da prez whos in the bath and is told by him to find the creature

later on an oil rig a guy sez the wind makes it too hard to drill and the pipes might burst if they go on which will put em back a year top fixc it

they talk about a guy coming in the storm and then this boat comes through and thisd sandwich eater guy talks abotu how they gotta keep this schedual for a guuy who pukes

oh and the oil guys talked about using a laser drill like its mega man

on the oil rig they hear a signal of a mayday but theres no responce from calling it and nothing on radar

oh the oil rig guys found the cgi thing in the drilling in da urth and its radio active

did this rip off The Thing on the Fourble Board??

its only been above ground 72 hours and they know nothing about it

i gotta be honest; i'm having toruble keeping track of who all these dinks are and dont care much about em

so then this black guy goes around the boad and sez they storm is f ing the boat but the puke guy sez they need the supplies on da oil rig my sun up and sandwich guy pulds an oar on him

some crew, incliding a woman, play cards and the chick wins as women alweays do in movies as men cant be the winnders to the superior females or it makes ghirls spazz out

1 guy has a lot of photoes of this busty blonde p0rn0 star that he probably j-rkls off to a lot and mans a machine

in da storm the black guy falls off but they pull him off the side of tyhe boat with a rope and the sea looks like a n64 game

sandwich guy goes out with a gun and caps the rope on the boat holding it to something and another guy, oh the cowboy, caps it and the supply ship goes off so tyhe ship isnt taken out

like the eurtopean union selliong grece so it dont drtag the rest of the economies under

so then we see guys in space suit like things going around this place and something attaks

at da gov theres no contact with the lines to the places they sent guys and i think that was the oil rig the space suit looking guys got iced in

the next day the boat with the crew heads on and sandwich guy reminizes about his WW2 Vet Navy Dad i mean viet nam nacu dad and hes got his life coming together  but copmpares his life to his dads from another decade

so they can't radio anyone as thgeres no signal and blonde guy and chick talk about the p0rn0 chick who won some XXX Star Awards

At the gov base a congressman of some lardo's a55 got wind of it and wants an inquirey and a gov guy sez ther're giving out medals to the guys who bit it to say it was an acciodent

like marliun was "accidentally" iced by r fk?

on the boat nearing the oil rig 1 guy shows the one black guy a photo of this baby i think he's related to and chick is uninterested as her fam got iced in a train wreck 3 years ago

so at the oil rig called the sea ghost, as this movie has several titles like It Waits Below, Sea Ghost in Canada, and Ghost Rig 2: The Legend of the Sea Ghost nin soviet england

so they get there and black guy senses something and the whole thing looks like its greenscreened in and they go over a history of it

it ended in 95 and the gov boguht it and used its drills for classified sh-t

this black chick is guiding em and they pull guns in case something comes outta the elevator but its empty

they go to the lower decks and its said the doors and hatches were sealed by a system and they come out to a slight mess

black guyide sez they collect samples from the earths core and thery found something in it

what about the hollow earth theory? maybne they found some daemon from it?

so p0rn0 guy i think, but it might alsdo be baby picture guy checks the= wires to get the elevator working again and the rest go off and leave him to bitye it

in the lab its f'd up and she sez the thing they found got out and 1 guy sez to ice it to protect themselves

guiude sez they drilled 15 nmiles which is 2x as deep as anyone ever went (in my butt) b4 but they wanted a new source of energy from the earths core

i'm poretty sure the earths core is more than 15 miles in

also this is ripping off devilman the 2004 movie

so they drilled 14.5 miles and dfound an empty chamber and it was radio active and they founbd living sh-t in there and took 2 samples

so tech guy gets the elevator working and notices something and then the p0rn0 star he likjes is there in a cheetah print dress

she sez she's making a movie and he wants her toi sign his photo of her

she goes in a room and when hes therte a second later, shes in a new dress and there's torches and she's doing a sequel to his fave xxx fi,m

then she does a sexy dance with fire in the background and talkes off her robe to show her b00bs

then she goes to him, opens her mouth, and a cr-ppy cgi tentacle comes out and wraps arouind his head and seems to icehim

so back in the lab the puke guy sez the thing might still be alive and sandwich guy sez to split up and look around in pairs to look for the missing guys

guide sez the code is Jules Verne and p0rn0 guy isn't answeing, but then he does and sez the elevator is ckomming along

cowboy and black guy are 1 group and they talk about compasring saloons to ghettoes

chick and i think family man are another team and cowboy and black guy fiind a messy place with a pepsi machine and cowboy hears something and bnickers with bnlack guy

chick and guy team talk about having dinner and maybe b0ning and she hears train sounds and spazzes out a bit

thisd is seeming to rip off The thing, espm the booke forme where it reads minds

guide sez she started here not long ago after the last team was replaced by a better crew and shes skilled in geology

gov guy i think is puke guy calls on his small cellphone and asks for info but hears something from the phone and talks about his future plans to retire and go to fiji

well, thats the end of him!

the govv guys on the other end hear the thing got out and tell him to get the data back there

main gov guy i mean general wantys to end the mission and gives em til 1700 hours b4 he sends a team to attack so he';s not sent to alaska to fight on the grand cannon in the 12st robotech war in 2010

the sea eye eh found out about this and general tells em to wait

sandwich guy opens a drawer and finds files and puke guy comes back so he says he read in the files that they found something in a meteor and its topsy cret

guide sez they found life inside it and wait, they said mineral, not meteir, i'm watcving a spoeed asl;tered video of it on youtube edited to fill a part of the screen with a background around it

sandwich guy bashges him for sacrificing lives to try to get it and he rteplies there was protocall

then a tv comes on and a nerd on it sez its dangerous and even though he's locked himserlf away, he sees and hears a voice

then chick calls and sez they found something and they go to her and find a guy on a medicxxan table and guide scans him with her blackberry AND SAYS her's staBLE

sandwich guy sez to bring back the team to the med lab and black guy leaves cowboy to return

cowboy hears a horse and finds a wild west town in a door and goes through it after calling black guy who dont come

in it he sees another cowboy wantint to getta reward from catching him and they duel with pistols and main cowboy beats other cowboy but other cowboy opens his mouth and a PS1 Tentacle comes out and necks main cowboy

black guy asks p0rn0 guy to return to da med lab and p0rn0 guy tells him to  check the elevator and goes in it

it oipens and a Sega CD cgi tentacle thing comes out and black guy caps it but it gets him

the alpha team waits for the other members who 1 of em sez they got a blockage and gotta go around

but guide sez sometrhing they saids seems outta place cuz he sed mr or something and shge cxhecks the nerd tapes

nerd tape sez he dont know whats real now and guide sez the thig can read minds anbd make you hallucinate

sanddwich guy sez to the guy on a come that "guys from georgia can'tr fiond their way w/o a hoprsde" and voice agrees then he tells voice to stay put

its revealed the guy he's talking about is from soviet new jersey and hates horses and voice knows it

then he calls on the copm for the others andf voice sez "they with me" and main guy sez it can't read minds from a distance

the table guy is awake and spazzing out and the gov is sending in veritechs to nuke the base

table guy dont klnow what happened to his crew but sez how he was in a germ free area and the thing they found feeds on flesh and blood

maybe its a daemon

pray it away!

in flesh backe a guy took a blood sample aND dropped it and spazzed out

when he went in he saw this chick who was dead or something and she tried to open the thing so he capped her and ran to the med lab

the thing tried illusions to make him open trhe door by saying its his superior, then his woman wanting to b0ne, then his fam wanting to go fishing

Its a good thing on having determination and menmtal fortitude and resistance to temptatoin

so tabler guy (didn't this happen in Virus with Donald SutherlAND AND ther Resident Eviol Chick? Find 1 survivor in a mutation thing sea place) sez he saw a guy going stairs

guide is gonna go bt sandwich guy stops her as shes emotiona and trhey dont know whats real

So they go out with guns andare gonna look for the professor and get out

then sandwich guy taslks with table guy and i guess tyhey are brothers as they talk about his dad and how sandwich guiy was in secret things on missions when the dad got it

then we see his mission of shredding people with gunfire like its contra in a base level

table guy dont buy it and they get in the elebator and chick sees her memory of her fam getting iced in the train thing

even though its clearly an illusuion; she ruins to her kid to help him and finds her fam

we get a sugary moment and she resists it as she knows its not real and didnt justice league unlimited do thisaa with Superman in that hantasy Dream with his son he'd never forget?

So she runs from them tio the guy ashew was with saying she goit away and he opens his mouth and a tentacle comes out and gets her

ther general talks with some guyabout the thing and sez not to let anyone get near it

in the rig the gang finds a blood stain and why were the other 2 away from them?!

thery see the dr and think its might be the thing and guoide is his woman

puke guy shoots the dr and dr gives them the data disk to kill the thing

he was the real dr and spazzes out and bites it and puke guy whos a gpv guy beats down sandfwish guy and aims his gun as table brother aims at him

puke guy tells table bro to drop it or he's gonna ice brother and brother lowers hus weapon

sandwich guy sezx puke guy knew the whole time what was going on and he denies it and wants the disk so he can use it to get out of gov issues and leave em to bite it

as he reachers for the disk, sandwish guy kicks his un away and fights him and they are in a cave now like bad outer limits and sandswich guy wins

an army commander sez gopod work and that this purple AND LIME green cAVE was the things home for 2.2 millionm years like f--king devilman

his ship crashed here and he was sealed awy for yuears and now can get out and sansdweich guy sezx the thing iced his homies

the thing sez he was here beofre their kind evolved and he's the REAL earthling

then bro jumps in this warp hole in the caves a55 and brings out main guy and the guy with the general comes by and puke guy greets him

even though its obviousdly an illusion asdd theres no way he'd be here, he hugs him and the guy opens his mouth and a thin tentalce comes out and wraps his head

in the real world they see a huge a55 tentacle grabbing puke guy upsidedown and jerking him away like its f--king beetle borgs on fox kids in the 90s!

the 3 survivors runas playstation 1 tentacles come after em and they escape in the elevator

the brothers are cool now and guide is gonna self detonate the base as bases have self nuking options built in somehow

but the system is deactivated and they got asplosives near by convienently and they throw em in the elevator with a 30 sewcond timer

it blows with cr-ppy effects and they jump into the sea and the gov guys in thebase say something s scrwewing up ther radar and general sez he's not taking the fall for this as the other guy sez the see ai eh shou;ld take over as general f'd up

then the troops take off in a chopper and the survivpors are on this tugboat and they have the data disk in case the thing comes off the rig

then the guide morphs into the gov guy and hes the thing the whole time

da f--k sense does that make?!

is it truyiong to rip off michael jacksons thriller with the end its there?!

then we see the cast names with clips from the film we just saw like Space Balls

the end

that was a ride

the cr-ppy cgi was the best these guiys could do and it would be good in a 1994 game, but this was made in 2004

still, i kinda liked it

had kind of a 32 bit charm

the acting was fine and the the adventure was kinda standard, but i liked it

its one of those cheesy budgedt tb canadian films that is entertaining

sorta like canadian cg dolemite

but dolemite was more fun

still i had a decent time and it had some good ideas of temptation and resistance

its actually by Corus which did YTV stuff in the 90s

how they devolved

but beisdes post 00s ytv, this wasn't so bad

For The Thing Below 2 I want it to be on the boat and one of the guys facing the monster shape shifter to swear by his creator to beat him and mentioning The Lord causes tyhe monster to cringe, Realizing that its a daemon and can't stand holy things, he behgings saying bible quotes to stun it as the othert brother looks up the disk on his 90s computer on the boat. Its also an 8 bit point and click game on Nes, Gameboy, Sega Master System, Game Gear, TG16 Arari Lynx and 7800 where you play as either the speaking brother who has to choose the right option out of 3 to fit the Bible Quote, Or the other brother who has to solve math puzzles and trivia things to unlock the info on how to beat it. And in the end its revealed its a special prayer that seals it.

Devilman Review

 Note: I spell daemonic

Devilman

This is mny review on Devilman from the distant future year of 2004 (The year some Robotech Comics happened in)

Its based on a Manga by my fave author Go Nagai who did a lot of sexy violent awesomer insane sh-t

To quote Tom Green: Its like p0rn with murder!

Unlike some of his 18+ works like Violence Jack, Devilman Lady and Loevly Angel: Devilman was a Shonen series which means its for the samne age group as Naruto, DBZ, Bleach, Saint Seiya, Hokuto No Ken and Eiken

But then Netflix got it and made Crybaby which is a gay xxx (Like evertything else on there)

Its dirtected by Hiroyuki Nasu who did nothing I sAW and got f'd at the box office and in reviews as its said to be f--kin baD

It stars a bunch of Live Action Japanese dudes and is dubbed by the Digimon, Robotech/Eiken cast

So after some credits we see Ryo and Akira as kids (Da f--k?! They call him rai oh?! He's not that Yugioh Card!) where they look through a kids book of cry[ptids like wolfman and centaur and Ryo sez hre's one of em and wants akira to be one too

then they put on monsater masks and look through the book, wjich zooms inbto this demons eyer and we go through h e double england and get a title

years later, AKIRA and ryo are in teens in track and akira falls so ryo goes back for him but akira has him go on as ryo is better than him at everythiong and aklira likes him for it

also; like many japanese, Ryo has blonde hair, like Sauilor Venus, Rangiku Matsumoto and Naruto Uzomaki (Oh and Nami Koishikawa if you are over 18)

So Akiras gf Miki comes by and Akira is gay for her and Ryo don't like it aand Miki don't like Ryo as hes a jerk wjo don'rt smile

Often when someone does sometgiung i dont like, i domnt like em, and it turns out they are evil

I hated weinstein for changing movies w/o directors consent, joss whedon for being a c-ck sucker, kaiser neko for censoring comments he disagrees with, fauchi just runs me the wrong way and i sense he's evil

i got this sense that knows if someone is evil

oh and back door trudeau is just a candya55 but i didn't get the same sense

So Akira livers with Miki's fam as his renrts were iuced in a car accident (Like f--kin harry potter?! in the books it was daemons!!)

Akira forgot its his b day and they have a surprize party

also miki's hair is wrong

So then Akira is beat up by high school toughs like in f--king every anime, as Ryo beat em in a race

da f, they call him uh soo kuh!? Its Asuka! Pronounced oss kuh! tHEN AGAIN, theese guys pronounced the silent U in Densuke in Eiken!

Completly out of character; akinra atacks em to defend ryo and gets his a55 kicked, even though in the REAL version (The Manga) Akira was a timid candya55 like Shinji frolm evangelion

a teen sez ryo (Which should be pronounced like Neo or Geo, not bio) chopped off 2 of his fingers with hedge clippers for beating up Akira, and Akira saved his fingers\

Turns out: Akira is tryiung to save them fro Ryo, like how a serweration of church and state protects the church FROM the state

So Akira works out and pumpsd iropn but miki comes by and sees his wounds and he runs

Miki sees some teen girls bullying anotyher teen by throwing balls at her, so Miki nails 1 with a ball and saves her

btw, how come ryo wasnt arrested for mutilating a teen?!

is it cuz hes a "young offender" and gets all this legal protection to mutilate people cuz hes young?

So ryo com,es back to class after a week off and asks who beat up akira as he wants to mutilate them but akira sez its nothing

ryo is ok with that as his dad bit it and he and akira go in ryo's ferarri mustang and gives akira a vs thing to see his dads recording

dad found an underground antartic lake from 500 million year old energy thjing that can do fusion at room temp and is 8 million x as good as oil

But its actually a daemon life forme that posesses people so they shut down thing thing but it was too late as the workers fused with the daemons and were posessed, And so was Ryo's dad!

So Ryo takes Akira to his mansion and opens a door and its this big organic room like Splatterhouse 3 or Contra and its Ryo's dad  in it

Ryo sez hes been posessed and gets a knife and wanbts Akira to end him 

They badly fight over the knife and Akira throws Ryo despite Ryo not only already stronger than akira, but has daemon power now!

Then out of the contra level comes this spurm like thing that ghoes into akira and he devolves into devilman but is cr-ppy ps2 cgi

A daemon comes out and thinks hes still the demon who posessed him and akira fights him and easily slays him

then he devolves into a humanoid mode with cr-ppy make up and ryo is angelic with a bunch of wings and light and akira realizes he;s devolved and just killed thhat thinbg

ryo sez he kept hius human heart but has a demopn body so he's a delvilman whos demon outsiode and human inside

then akira wakes up in his room and is hugh mann but has some aids sores on his chest, but its just cr-p on the mirror

miki gets him a b day motor bike like in the 70s anime and some creeper with a campera watches akira and ther miki fam

akira reides with miki but they wear helmets and at school; akira almost askes her if she'd like him if he wasn't human

so then the teen punks are hassling ryo to get him beofre he chops em up but ryo walks off and they attack akira

Akira easily beats em with power rangers moves and slo mo sh-t and the teens dont notice anything wrong with this as i sgess in japan everyone has super powers

good f--k we';re onyl 20 mins in?!

So later Akira gores to ther beach and sees this guy sketching as he started drawing in therapy to get his motopr function back after ryo cut his fingers and hes got nightmares and ptsd from Ryo admitting to being evil when he chopped him up

fingers warns Goku I meanbn Akira that Ryo is dangerous and as Akira looks through the f'd up sketch book; sees something that reminds him of Ryo but looks kinda like Zasmasu from the Gay Dragon ball

Fingers admits he just picked on Akira to look tough and Akira helped him so he sez sorry and thanks

So a creeper tapes Miki taking a shower but as its not the Showa Era: Japan can't haver nude scenes so shes in a towel

Shiranui comes by and contacts Akira by his daemon name and akira meets her on the roof

she'ss in a modest sone spiece like thing instead of her white thong and nothing else like in the manga and sshe invites him to go where he was born and she takes his hand but miki shows up and sees em gone

btw this whole "Gf from past life comes back and giives him info on his daemonism to join her" was done in Demon Lord Dante

In Ryos palace Akra goes to semi daemon mode and shiranui bugs him about not remembering and calls him by his daemon name

Nowadays some tumbler malconttents would whine about her "dead naming" him and "not respecting his new identity"

but at least they aren't b0ning like in crybaby!

So they baCK AND FORTH ABOUT dEMONS AND HUMANS and she attacks him and they fight with shakey cam and cgi bursts of ki where blows connect

Shiranu digivolves into a bikini outfit  anfd Akira goes full CG and they have a big CG fight in the air and around the city that looks like bad PS2

after Akira is slices in the back, he falls and they wind up right back in Ryo's house and Akira goes back to Semi Devolved and Shirenu goes back to the 30s swimsuit and mocks him for fusing with a candya55 like Akira

she grabs his face and Ryp comes in and sez See Ren and Akira wakes up in a misty place where Ryo sez Akiras demon powers regenerate him

Btw in the Manga: Akira got his arm sawed off, his body slices and a horn skerwering him, but here its just 1 back slash and he's f'd

So akira tells Ryo his demon name and ryo sez he was Cee Lin's butt buddy and she wanted him back and ryo sez he found akira by being a demon (i mean if he has esp or ki sense, year but just "deing a demon" don't exzplain anything)

they walk for a bit and akira is bummed that hes a daemon now but Ryo sez Daemons don't cry (which I think is wrong but I don't recall every Go Nagai Manga with Daemons but think maybe in Demon Lord Danmte it happened)

in a pizza shop or w/e akira asks why they posesses them and Ryuo sez they aint as strong as Akira thinks and they need to posess stronger life formes to get their genetic structure and Akira thinks idf a bird is posessed: the daermon could fly

Akira figgers he became devilman to save humanity and miki's fam and goes back to miki's place with dinosaur toys on the shelf

she's worried he was out and notices damage and he gets on her and she wonders why hes acting different and they have sort of a moment and make out (which is non canon!) and its implied they b0ned(which is double non canon but still more canon than with Shirenu b0ning him and dream b0ning him and he j-zzed all over the ceiling in his sleep)

Then we get Morrison's World News with Japanese Subs and in the Japanese version the big black guy was speaking English but they dubbed it here for some reason

he tells aboput murders and bodyparts found around japan and then we see Jinmen as a mailman or cop or something and wanting something to eat

he goes to a turtle zelling thing and eats a turtle in frong of a kid and his face deviolves intoi a turtle daemon face and fingers saw it

later Akira goes to see Fingers and its name i just looked up and itas Masao Ushiku and he's not at the beach but he hears his voice and dumps his head in the water and looks as if he;'d be there and calling

Hew goes fdull cg and flies to the woods and then devolves to semi fortme and runs around with 1 arm up like hes got a shield and finds him sealed in this big a55 daemon shell with other peoples faces cr-ppily edited im it

he sez its ironic that he wanted to be his friend and now is gonna bite it, then jinmen comes to life looking like cr-ppy Contra Shattered Soldier CG and akira wants revenge for eatingh his friend

Ushiku sez h'es already dead (nani?! Ohhhhhh1 Hidebuuuuuu!) and the face is his last traced of consciousnous and won't last and he sez bye

Akira sez it was an honor being his friend and jinmen wants food so akira goes full cg(is this like wedding peach with the human, dress and mini skirt outfits?) AND 1 hit kills him with a back shot

Jinmen sez "Why'd you kill me? we're both daemons and we ain't supposed to fight" but Akira sez he's not a daemon but is human like the guys Jinmen iced and jinmen sez he didn't kill em, just ate em, like Humans eat animals to survive

Funny thing: Once they gave a Turkey a vaccine in its back and when the farmer checked on it days later: It ate a hole several inches in its own back as it liked its own taste!

So i think that disproves the myth that "Eating meat is mean to animals"

So Jinmen goes on with how He only eats and Satan wants to wipe out humans, and then, he dierd, AHHHHHHHHHH!

So the big black news guy is revealed to be Bill Jackson (Like Michael Jackson??) and sez theres reports all over da world of people devolving into monsters and wastinmg people, and the f bi is looking into it

So in class they have a bummer moment for Fingers and Akira remembers him saying Ryo said he was evil

How did they know he was dead Did trhey find his parts in Jinmens Shell?!

So Akira looks atr Ryo cockeyed and later in Computer class, Miko (Not Miko Mido)( comes by as it ends and goes in but isn't in uniforme and miki wonders where she was

a bully mocks her about dropping out and they joke abouit her being a demon like on tv and take her to another room to take off her clothes like its f--kin kekko kamen

miki just stands there until miko shoves 1 away and she attacks, onmly then does miki do anything, but miko's sleeve was ripped and shes all devolved under it on 1 spot and the teen bullys dreak out

then her aerm p-sses acidf on a globe and its acid fire and it buirns it to dust

miki trys to help her and says "oh miko" like its la blue girl and miko walks off

then the cops come and the studdents swarm out and its night now and akira comes in, sees miki is ok, and miki sez cuz miko cryed at being called a daemopn, it means shes still human

how da f did miki know about that?! the whole "demon people dont have feelings and sh-t"??

Jackson shows footage froim soviet los angelas where a cowvboy looking guy takes a shot gun to the cops and his face opens up like beetlejuice in that 1 scene and he caps the dumba55 camera man who ran up to a posessed cowboy dressed like marty mcfly in back to the future 3, with guns

here's an idea: is dawemons are real, don't that mean God is too? Can't you pray it away?

I mean alienns are daem,ons and aare rebuked by Jesus's Name

so later miko is by a swing in the middle of these tall buildings and hangs out with a grade schooler as i guess anyone a day under 18 is a child and thus: exactly the same

he's got bruises and his rents dont believe him, but his mom comes by all creepy saying dads home and is waiting for em

oh and his name is susumu and when he gets home, his dads eyes spin and have multiple pupuls and his mom has a snake tongue

in the manga they chopped him up and ate him and we see his head on tthe floor in a poole of bloode

but here its just implied

So Action Jackson says the gov sez demonss are another life forme faKING BEING HUMAN and will work with other govs to save humanity

Kinda like fighting the virus in 2019-20xx

and japan has an anti daemon force to fight em, then we see these daemon guys wacking people in the outside in the open with swords

What is this? England?

So Akira and Ryo are there and ryo says to leave em as they're scum but akira goes semi devolved and turns hgis hand into a spike club like some kinda Cobrala thing and busts em

then takes out another with his own sword and we got some decent gore

so later miki goes to see susumu who's not dead and hes not afraid of her as she saved him (da f--k?! did she ice his rents offscreen?)

So action jackson sez the gov changed the law to let them arrest anyone suspected of being a daemon, asnd to let em ice any suspected daemons

Why not taX EM for being demons like french canada?

so miki's dads kinda bummed cuz his friend was arrested by the demon hunters for susp[icxian of being a daemon and if he interfered, he'd be arrested too like its the ussr

turns out one of his enemy's outed him just cuz he didn't like him and iit was probably a lie

all it takes is an accusation and their life is ruined, like how anytime someone famous causes issue; the media or someone says "he's a racist/mo lester" and he's fired and ruined without a trial or hearing

so susumu and miko are arrested and later akira and miki go by miko's place andits all grafittied like the germansd hgouse in passchendaele

this rich lady comes by wanting Akira to move his bike from the road and asays Miko's fam skipped town as they had a daemon in their house

then freaks out at the idea that miki MIOGHT be a daemon and books it like she's someone who got a buncha shot but fears those who dont

miki and akira go to church as i ghuess they're catholic and Go Nagai is their Priest in cameo

Miki prays and akira looks at his keychain of a goblin or something and its for miki's cellphone but she dont want it

miki aSKS AKIRA to pray and says she prays to marry Akira in tjhis church (which is weird as in 1 manga:Miki's a witch or something) and she wantgs to have a buncha kids with him (didn't chichi say that aFTER MEETING GOKU?)

akira thinks thats too far away to imagine and leaves and later its night and ryo picks him up in his non korean car

btw; In Cyborg 009 Vs Devilman: Akira is voiced by Brice Papenbrook, Who was Densuke in Eiken, but in Devilman Crybaby: Silene/Shirenu is voiced by Cindy Robinson, who was Kirika in Eiken, and was into Densuke, And in Crybaby: Shiranu f'd Akira! So its like Kirika f'd Densuke!!

on the news the anti daemon troops go into an alleged dfaemon coven and shred all thes epeople with gunfire

ryo gets a machinegun and wants to go around shredding people but akira wont go and gives him his

ryo goes by a blue bug guy who asks for help and calles jhim Satan and Ruo goes around swinging 2 machineguns and shredding the anti daemon team

spioler; Ryo didn't know his true identity until near the end as he was mindwiped by Psycho Jenny/Genie to take the persona of the Dead Ryop Asuka so he copould fiond the humans weakness

But here it seesm like there never was a Ryo and its just Satam knowing the whole time he's gonna bring down humans

also he was a hermaphrodite in the manga with b00bs and a long weener

sao in the movie this fat load in an afro comes out and is shredded for a while by gunfire like in Violence Jack H-lls wind

the next day Father go Nagai reads the newspaper and akira is in this cafe thinking of this wheelchair guy getting a gun and these fat f--ks bodyslamming as guy

he thinks about how if you were a bit different, people would accuse you of being a daemon and f--k u up

also nations turned on each other and at miki's dads work in the fields later; akira brings dad his lunch and its real fancy

miki's mom is worried of miki's dad and he sez the other workers queered out and hes got nothing better to do and someones gotta trend the farmland,m so akira hel;ps him even though he's non union

but miki's dad sees akiras arm scales and he makes a moan like he just j-zzed on the ceiling

but miki's dad is ok with this even though in the manga he turned his shotgun on Akira for being outed

later in the mall people are looting and the cops take a shotgun to em and akira beats on em until they run

why didn't they shoot?!

also; cops capping shoplifters?! is this mad bull 34?!

so akira jumps like 30 feet like he's Sailor Venus and tells a sniper to stop instead of using his fists like he's brittish or something and its ryo wjhpo sez hes Satan

then parts of the town blow and ryo ruins and action bill jackson sez japan was declared a daemon nation and got missiled, but Japan counter attacked for being missiled by nations without warning!

so its ww3 and miki has the goblin on her phone and  wonders when thje war will end

Miki asks if Akira believes in God and she says she does, then smooches him as missiles go off outside

gotta say, in the 2020s, this is kida fdreaky, with the world being f'd up

Akira vows to protect miki and the later day; the demon hunters are shredding people with machineguns and miko and susumu have escaped  somehopw and go around the f'd up city like diet hokuto no ken

they remind me of ryo takuma and his sister a bit from violence jack

so they go around and the creeper is looking at miki and sees miko and susumu going by

miki goes out to help her and miko sez to help susumu as hes human and his life matters

miki lets miko come in and carrys susumu in and wait, where's tare?! miki's wiener kid brother?!

so they feed miko and susumu rice balls and miki asks her rents if they can stay, and they say yes

akira sez he's glad she saved susumu and at night; miko uses skin cream on her devolved arm and miki seez

miko sez shes a monster but miki comforts her and wasn't miki a tough bada55 chick in the manga? i mean she's not a wiump here, but we  don't see her badda55ness here

so miki gives miko a make up thing and sher feels pretty

the next later; these citizens want miki's rents to help them hunt the uninjected i mean deamons and miki's dad refuses so they suggest he might have daemons with him

miki's dad sez they gotta leave as they might have been reported and akira is in his 70s anime outfit, which makes me wish they had alphonse in here as some bad cameo

mikis dad gives miko and susummu the keyt to the institute and sez he';s gonna help ewm later and miki gives her lipstick and mimi's mom gives em food

so miko and susumu flee and akira goes out to check but the demon hunters swarm in at gunpoint and 1 beats on miki as they look for daemons

the hunters think they are daemons and mikis dad says hes the one and to get him, but akira comes out to them and goes full cg and knocks em away with his wings b4 goes to semi devolved and they freak out

miki  sees and hugs him and sez akiras not evil or a daemon and smooches him and feels his arm scales

then akira sez he's gonna return for them and she is sad she's not gonna see him again

the demon hunters arrest him and he consents even though he has the power to waste em and save his loved ones and they drive him away on a Y cross as miki sez she loves him

so they open firwe on akira and hes dead and later at night the townsfolk go to lynch miki's fam for having a guy the gfovb told them tyo fear in their home but this yellow hat ghuy who i think was the creeper tries to save her with his words

mikis rents tell her to hide as akira will be back for them and she goes upstairs and the lynch mob comes up as mikis mom asks if he cheeted on her

he sez never and they break in and swaRM em as miki is in her room with a big a55 knife

if miki;'s dad had a sttong firearm, he could have defended his family and sent those killers to h e double australia

so meanwhole; miko and susumu are on a train and guys are after em and they run

miki's rents are iced and they come for her and she sez if humanity has devolved this bad, she'd rather be a daemon and when a guy comes in her room, she tries knifing him and claimns tyo be a daemopn

miko and susumu are on top of a buiding and they jump but she grows butterfly rings like the f--kin dark crystal and saves them as susumu thinks shes a pretty angel

she then pulls a kataka and flies back up and sez the humans are the real kilelrs ands cuts em down with a katana that just was there asd i guess its japan, and she uses ones of their guns against em 

1 guy isn't dead dead so she throws a katyaka in his back b4 he caps her like a bada55

so the ciuty is gioing f--k and susumu sees it blow as global war starts

action jacksion sez its fun as people ice each other and takes off his shirt and grows 2 more heads like i guess Xenon?

the media news is daemons? what a shock!

so akira gets better from being dead and pukes bl;lood and sees a lot pf people iced near him

the next day he goes home and has a shirt now somehow and, wait, how'd his pants stay on?! didn't he hulk out 12 feet tall?!

so at home he sees em but its just in his miond and he finds em, dead and the place f'd

then sees miki's cellphone and video of her being knifed by the guy she told she was a demon and then says shes' not one and bites it

Akira then sees miki's head on a stick and screams and walks out with it (didn't this happen with Blue in Violence Jack?)

so akira walks through the ruined city and to the undamaged church and puts her head on the alter

akira thinks of miki's dream of having a happy family and crys and Ryo comes in church asking if there isd a God (Which he sdhould f--king know) and if humanity is worth saving

akira asks if he was always Satan and how could he lie like that (The fathjer of liers is lying?! What a Shock!)

Ryo sez its who he is and he hates humans except akira as he wanted akira to live so he devolved him into a daemon

then asks akira to join him to rule the world with only daemons. but there were too many to desttroy, so the humans wiped eaCH OTHER OUT (like that twilight zone ep??)

Akira looks at miki's head and asks ryo to ice him aas hes the last human and hes got nothing to live for wiithout miki and (like in the Bible) its not good to be alone

Ryo dont get it and aklira sez he';s the dumb animal like ryo callers humans for turning on each other

ryo wants akira to join him and (unlike in devilman lady) akira turns him down and won't jooin him so ryos gonna ice him

thern they transform into ps2 cgi and have a grey tone fight where ryo easily beats him down and no matter how epic aklira gioes; he can't stopp him

Why not say a prayer? Won't Holy do something?

So the fight is sdo DBZ strong that it f--ks the planet and makes it go f--kin hokuto no ken as all these daemons swarm together and form a huge abomination like that scene in Urotsukidoji and Akira stands alone against the enmdl;ess swarm

he blazes his cosmo to maxiumum and goes as a blue fire colossos andnujkes all the enemies as Ryo goes in for a kick

spoiler; in the REAL version; Akira and an army of Devilmen fought Ryo for like 20 years and the war wiped out everything

So Akira punches a ddent in Ryos b00bless chest and Akira is kicked through the gut sideways and both fall

Then we get a fleshbeck of Ryop and Akira making a Sand Tower of Babel (Which expla\insd a lot) and they wish it wont be knocked down and wou;ld last forever

then they cover it with their bodies to protect it from the rain and akira wakes up on this rock in the sea and they say each others names and rypo wants him to live

akira sez its ok if ryo survives and its shown that from the waist down; akira isnt there

then the island turns in the sun as we see ryo's shadow move on it and ryo pukes blood and ryo sezx if akira bites it, so will he

so akiraS DEAD and miko and susumu are somehow alive in this apocaLYPSE ZERO ruins and miko sez in her heart she sees a pretty world but susumu sez its gone

miko sez they gotta go on even if they're the only ones as they promised miki they'd not give in and a japanese song plays and they go off holding hands in the post apocalyptic ruins as the credits roll and it zooms out showing the nuked area

btw ryo's REAL reason for hating people is never stated. God let daemons evolve but didn't like em and was gonna wipe em out, so he rebelled and was sealed away for millions of years.

Once he came out; he saw humans took over and wanted to wipe em out to give the earth back to daemons. But after seeing Akira dead; he saw he was doping what God did and regretted it as the Angels came down to make the Earth go Violence Jack

Could be worse

Coming soon, from Walt Disney Pictures, Disney's Devilman! 

Kieron French is a shy teen who don't fit in, and his friend Michelle took him in after his parents disappeared in the Himalayas, 

But when his friend Roy Oskar comes back, he reveals Demons are coming! So he uses a Machine to turn Kieron into a Half Demon to fight them! 

After a few fights and getting used to his powers, Roy shows a Broadcast of the Demons and says they can be anyone and the town breaks out in Chaos! 

So Kieron faces him and finds he's really the Demon King who used Kieron to get to know the humans and find their weakness! 

After Kieron saves Michelle and her family from the (Racist ) Cops, he fights Roy in his True Form, a big purple Monkey Sasquatch! 

After being beat down, Michelle plays the recording of Roy admitting to having turned the people against each other and the people stop fighting after seeing they were being used! 

With no Chaos to feed off of, Roy loses his power and is sealed back in the Himalayas and Kieron and Michelle get married and have a kid who becomes the hero in the Sequel! 

Rated G as there's no blood, gore, death, swearing, nudity or mature themes!

Wait, What about Shirenu?! Rid Ryo kill her? She's just not there after the fight!

The end

honestly; that wasn't bad

as someone who saw it in ther 2020s i gotta say; its pretty relatable in showing fears people deal with

war, paranoia, big gov, ect

yeah it dont touch pon Go Nagai's anti war feels as much as it should, but its got some decent for its time effects and tells a decent version of the manga

yeah it cut stuff and changed things, but all books are changed for the screen

and unlike crybaby and bram stokers dracula; its not devoolved into f--king p0rn0h!

yeah soime stff was werid, but it shows the dangers of what wqe may face in the near future and i hope its words don't fall on deaf ears

aw F! thats usually what people who were ignored are quoted as saying after the world gets f'd!

but i didn't hate it and the mon colle knights and apocalypse zero actors did a decent job

the ending is more hopeful than the book and yeah it could have been better, but its not hateable and ends in a good place to do violence jack

also the ending of susumu and miko being at peace together \despite being from opposite sides in the war was used in Robotech with Scott and Ariel

For Devilman 2 I want miko and susumu to be wandering the wasteland and its like a dacade later so they are like 20 and really muscley. they come across a band of survivors from the war but somethings not right about them., turns out; they are cannibals and lurte in people who come by to feed on and b0ne as they eat them alive. So Susumu and miko go around their carnival ruins base and take em out one at a time in epic fighjts. Also its a 128 bit fighting game on Gamecube, Dreamcast, PS2 and Xbox where you play as Miko who uses her powers or Susumu who uses his self taught psychic powers and bust through them

The Outsiders Review

 Noye: i spell outside the norm,al

the outsiders

This is my revierw on The Outrsiders from 1983 (tHE year the famicom came out)

its directerd byt franccis ford copppola before he devolved with fred fuchs and diod p0rn0

it starts matt million, ralf macchio, pastricvk swayze, rob low, emilio extervceZ, tom cruise, tom waits and has camewores by nicholas cage and melanie griffith, plus some gfuyyys i don't knowe\

i reads the book in grade school by s e hinton and it was good

it starts wiotyh ponyboy writing the start of the novel, then opening title and don bluth music and credits

oh its by stevie wonder and called stay gold

so ponyboy, the karate kid and matt dillion walk by this slummy town and see somew teens having a fight that devolves into a knife fight until the cops come

matt dillon is dally and he p-sses off kids by playting 52 pickup and at night they snmak into a drive in

cherry is a teen girl whos b4 i thjink tried to b0ne her dally smokes and makes comments on cherry (like princess cherry from Rocket Knight or Cherry lime and blood berry in saber marionette j) and dally f's with her

she tells him to f off and he does and the teens do things like having other teens in the trunk to get in then drivbbe in cxheasper or flup up girls skirts to ssee theirt undies

ponyboy tells her hes ponyboy and his brother is sodapop as trhey are gwennith paltrow nameing her kid apple

he goes to cherrys school and she knows sodapop who works at the gas station as he had to drop out and work after theirt rents bit nit

dally tries to b0ne her but she fights him off and tells him to f off and macchio gets him to back dopwn

macchio plays johnny and dally likes him  but in the netflix verion they are butt buddioes as 2 guys can';ty just be friends anymore

1 guy comes by asking wherre dally is as someone slashed his tires

replayed slashed with f'd and tires with dog

so pnoyboy and cherry gert food and ponyboy sez a soc(sosh, ike social)  beat up johnny and gave him a scar

they talk about the race war between greasers and soc's like its trnasformer with autobots and decepticons

so after the movier ponyboy(which is what bronys would name their kids if they bred) talk about poinyboys biggest brother raoh i mean dallis or w/e and how he's not around with him much

cherrys bf comes by and he was dfrunk and it p-ssed her off and he and his droogs nearly mockey knife fight the grerasers gang, but cherry goes with him to save therm like yuria going with shin in hokuto no ken

cherry sez if she sees ballis aghain she'd fall in love with him, probably to p-ss off daddy by breeding outside her class

so ponybo goes back to his shack and johnnys dad and mom are fighting so they go to the woods to hang out and hope some joknies dont eat em like kjn florisa

i used to think macchio was indian like from india as a kid as i ndidn;'t lknow he wads el italiano

joihnny can't take it and breaks down and hopes theres a place without greasers and soc's where people live in peace and ponyboy sez its like that in thre country

then has a memoryu of being in there with his rents as a kid, then dsees their car getting crushed by a train

he wakes up and goes home and johnny stays in the park and at home dallis i mean darry rides his a55 over being out at night and they fight

darry shoves hima nd ponyboyu run away and goes with johnny to join the circus or w/e

they go around the slummy =city ant night and the soc's catch em and insult them, so ponybnoy insuiltys em back, but spoits and they gret ponybvoy and start drowning him in a public fountain

johnny gets a swithcblade and when ponyboy comes to; theres just him, a f'd up johnny and a body

in the real version; joihnny went berserk and kept chopping into him until his ghuts spills out and johnny laughed lkiek a maniac

johnny did it to save ponyboys life and that would hold up is court as its in defense of another of immionent danger

they go to some pool hall or bar and get dally who they tell aboiut johnnys assassination

dally (who him and darry would have issues in the japanese version where l is r) gets them money and a gun and tells em of an abandoned chhurch in another place 

huh, diane lane is cherry

so johnny and ponybouy sneak onto a train and go to the church and when ponyboy wakes up he thnks hesd at home with his bros for a sec

johnny got supplies and gonmme with the wind as in the 50s we werren't whining about trhe south

johnny got peroxide to fake being blonde to cover his identity and cut their hair with a blade

isn't that what he killed that guy with?

so ponyboy is like that korean from bts and saws off johnnys hair and ponyboy whines about havcing to change his looks

so after a few days, a coon tries toi get in(which is dangerous as they have rabies, which is like aids for animals) and they read gone with the wind

they try to catch a rabbit to b0ne and play poker with smokes as money, even though yugioh is better

johnnys smoke falls and nearly starts a fire and later they look at a sunset thjat looks like a 30s film

ponyboy sez a poem about how at 1st things are gold but it devolvs int green

btw this is in fullscreen and no black bars eathing the top/bottom

me watching with my rents; mom; who wrote that? ponyboy; robert frost wrote that! me; thatsd scary

ponyboy cant talk with his greaser friends about meanmingful things like this and wishes he could

later dallis comes by and sez they miss them there and dallios was caught by cops and he told them the boys went to texas

they go to get food in a 509s car and go to dairy queen and he has an unloaded gun, called a heeter, before ragon ball super ruined it

a kid comes by asking for money but dallis tells her to gtfo

dallis sez cherry will terstify fort the greasers and say the soc's were drunk and violent

johnny wants to go back and turn hmself in as its self defence and dallis dontthink thats good as his rents dont care about him

dallis sez jail can make you bad, which i assum,e relates to being butt hammered and turned, and on the wayt back they see the church is on fire and theres kids in it for some reason

why were kids going around a burning church?! f--king dumba55es!

so ponyboy and johnny go in and save the little c-ck suckers and a wood falls and bumps joghnnys back and dallis saves him

ponyboys face is blackened but not like in soul man and in the ambulance he tells the fata55 whio looks like justin from screenwave; we're greasers

in the hospital fata55 sez not to smoke even thoug hes smoking and ponyboy has a happy 80s moment to don bluth music with treuniting with his bros

so pony boy goos hoome and at breakfast his droogs come by sez johnny is gonna be charged with manslaughter if he lives and they might put sodapop and pony boy in a boys home as i guess their names are too f'd

tom cruise sez after they stomp the soc's they'll party and the guys watch micky mouse cartoons

darry sez if ponyboy smokes more than a pack today he's getting skinned, as 14 year olds smoking  pack a day is wenough

so 2 bit (before his grandson 8 bit who's sega master system and nes) and ponyboy walk anbd the soc';s come by and 1 devolved looking guy talks with ponyboy about how ponyboys a hero for saving those kids and he didnt think a greaser could do it

devolved guy talks wioth ponyboy about how even if they win the fight then things wont change and tells his feelings

like in robotech how the zentraedina nd humans had companionship and battles

so ponyboy and droogs see johnny and he's crippled and wants to finish gone with the wind

although after his back got him; dallis pulls him aorund and that probly did it

johnny used to wanna suicide buyt now that he';s going to h-ll, he wants to live as he only is 16 and wishes he could do more

joihnnys mom comes by and johnny dont wanna see her and spazzes out and blacks out

they see dalis and hes smoking inm the hospital and wants to get revenge on the soc'sfor johnny

they go to see chjerry and she reveals johnny iced her drunk bf who was nice at times when not drunk and had charisma

she sez she liked pony boy and he talks asbout the sunset in their home quadrants

good lighting and sihloette like gone withj the wind

later they prep for the fight andponyboy wonders about shaving and derry thinks he shouldnt fight ashe''s been through sh-t

but as its just fists and no knives or chasins; its ok

yyou know,. peopple get beat dead all the time, esp in jail

so the greasers go to the kumite anmd darry sez if theres trouble;l ponyboy should split

so the soc's comes by and its  tense with these teen punks and it starts to rain

oh and there's like bonfires and sh-t out in the open!

What is this? f---kin the warriors?!

the leader of the soc's used to be football homies with darry and they have a big brawl of fisting and kicks

gotta jump kick! works in beat em ups!

the greasers win but ponyboy gets a head damage andf is driven to the hospital by ddallis to see johnny

the cops pull him over and dallis sez ponyboy fell off his motorcycle and hes bringing him to the hosapital aand the cop helps him

dallis sez he shouldn;'';t have let johnny go and you gotta be tough to survive

tough boy! tough boy! tough boy! tough boy!

Keep you burning!

No By No Cry

they tell johnny, wqho's neck is cooked, trhey won but he dont care and sez to stay golden and bites it

my version

johnny; imma dying pony boy

ponyboy; i with, we could ahve mnaed loev,just once\

johnny; stay golden pony boy, stay golden, uweaaaaa!(dfalls apart into chunks and melts into goo)

ponyboy; (puts his fingers in the goo and lifts it up) oh johgnny, you were the only one i ever love4d, and now ur dead, i'll make sure we'll always be together!(eats him)

so dallies crys for his dead crippled friend and breaks down and snaps

he goes around aiming an unloaded gun at guys and  clicking the trigger

on twitter this malcontent said once in grade school, his friend died and he snapped

one day he was acting out and the cops had tyo be vcalled to stop his rampage and 1 cop said "dont makke be tell my fam i had to shoot a kid"

but the malcontent blamed the cop for it even though he was the one going berserk

ponyboy tells the gang johnnys dead and dallies is mental

dallis is in a store, rips up a mag, and pulls a gun on the owner b4 robbing it

then calls the greaser droogs and tells them to meet him in the park

by the time the greasers get there; he cops have shredded him wit  gunfire 

In the book dally was dead b4 he hit the ghround but here he crawls and says stuff

later ponyboys at hoime and rreads a note in johnnys gone with the wind book from johnny

johny sez hes glad he saved the kids as the kids are worth more, and the staying golden means like being a kid and evetythings nerw and cool

also to tel dallie to be more gold and look at sunsets and the world is good in it

then pony boy stsarts writing the ouytsiders and the credits roll to the stevie wonder song stay gold

ooh, c thomas howell was ponyboy and was ii red dawn and e t 1

the end

that wwas quality

one of the better 80s teen films

its got meaning and heart and can be related to by teens of all decades

good flow and it dont drag or feel too long

good acting and really nice music

most of the guys in here went on to ber big stars

itt holds up and has that 80s heart

I saw it b4 and its better each time, although i last saw it in the 00s

For The Outrsidders 2 I want Popnyboy and Cherry to be growing closer but they gotta keep it secret as the gangs they are in will have em executed if they are open about it. Also Ponybiy's brain damage triuggered his psychic powers and he can use psy waves to shread people with slices of psychokenetic energy. eventually he ascends beyond geerser and soc to be a cho jin and decides to take them both out to stop the war. its also an 8 bit nes, master system, game boy, game gear, tg156, atari lynx and 7800 game where you use ponyboy and slice through waves of greasers and soc's to save cherry from being ritrual sacrificed by each gang (1st 1 then the other) to gain power.

The Breakfast Club Review

 Notywe: I eat baD SPELLING FOR BREAKFAST

tEH bREAKFAST cLUB

This is my revierw on The Breakfast Club from the distant fiuture year of 1985 (The year Robotech came out and Lisa Hayes in it was Born)

Its directed by John Huges who did 16 cangles, weird science, ferris buelers day off and uncle buck

Ity stars emilio estevez from The Mighty Ducks, Molly Ringwald (Zaa Wallrudo!) from Pretty in Pink, Judd Nelson from Transformers The Movie, Anthony Michael Hall from Edward Scisdsorhands, Ally sheedy from Wargames, Paul Gleeson from Panic in Year Zero!, John Kapelos from Weird Science and The Shape Of Water and Ron Dean from The Fugitive (hay, i saw em all! in stiff! Stuff!)

Woerd haS IT THERES A 150 MINUTE CUT OF THE FILM THAT the director has in his private thing and f u caps lock

It did well as it was made cheap and has many good revierws and fans like my cool 90s aunt who was an 80s teen

it starts with credits and title to dont you forget about me of yellow text on a black background and a quote from bowie on how teens know what they are going through

then the screen blowsd apart and a narrator sez info on the date and school and about how the teacher dont see them except as the seer wants to see em, but they used to be like that and now grew

the teens are dropped off by their rents and each has them wanting to do something they are fit into

the teens sit in the library and judd looks like he's the kid whgo'd shoot up the school in his shades and trenchcoat

vice prtincilpe tells the teens to stay in their seats and not f--k around and to write a 1000 word essay on their sh-t

judd bender asks if barry manilow knows he raids his wardrobe and gets another detention

bender is a j-rk off and is gonna p-ss in his seat and jokes about b0ning molly ringworm pregnant and p-sses off charlie sheen jr and her by joking about if they b0ned

but this is on Laff so its censored and they cut several minutes of swearing and secks talk

emilio sez if bender vanished then no one would miss him and molly sez hes mocks stuff as he's afraid they'd turn him down

hall adds in hes into nerd sh-t and molly sez acedemic clubs aint as good as fun clubs and bender counters

the topic comes to drugs and hall whines about knowing someoine who did it

shut the f up hall! no one cares!

bender mocks emilio over being a werstler and wearing tights

as vice gets a drink, bender takes a screw out of the door and when vice comes back the teens say it came closed by itself

vice accuses bender of stealing it and the kids defernd him but vice trys to hold the door open with sh-t but it dont work

despite there being another door right next to it vice dont wanna use it somehow and bender talksd back to vice and gets a bunch of detentions and vice sezx he's got bender for 2 months

after vice leaves bender yells f u in the uncut version, but this is the tv version so they cut like half the lines

so the teens screw around and bender smokes and sheedy ties a string on her finder and draws some picture

they could tighten their muscles to work out buyt dont

so after vice takes epm to p-ss. emilio asks if molly is free to a party later and she sez her rents use her to get back at each other

bender asks emilio if he gets along with his rentsand if yes hes a liar and idiot

hall is a wiener but bender sez he's a parent WILD dream and has noi life

bender sez clair (molly) is a fat chick name and sez some fatchicks look like you can still see the chiuck they used to be b4 the enfattening

Once on My 600lb Life: This huge fat chick with milky skin and orange hair was taking a shower and herr gut went to her knees and she was soaping her fat

so i send it to my homies saying itsd miolly ringwald and 1 thought it was real

bender jokes of mlly enfattening and she flips the bird and bender mocks her about beign a virgin in sexy ways

esitves stands up for her and they fight a bit and esitvbes wrestles him to the floor

but bender sez if he wanted to get seriousm he'd kill him and get sued

the uncut version has bender pulling out a switchblade and jamming it in the chair to prove his point

janitor comes by and bender mocks him but janitor sez he knows about em as he collects data on the like ,.istening in on their conversations and reading their notes and stuff

like facebook andf the gov

so later ther teen whistle the song from bridger on the river kwai or lisa her teeth are big and green

vice sez theyuu get 30 iins for lunch but won't go to the caf but emilio and sheedy go to the teachers lounge to get soda

they talk and she sez she drinks vodka and he goes on about his coach and dad wanting him toi do stiugf

in the library bender wants to show molly a picture of a guy with elephantiutus of the n-ts

then bender asks about if hall b0ned and hall sez he b0ned a girl in canada but later comes out about being a virgin

molly is ok with guys being virgins (plus no aids) and then they have their lunches

molly with bento sushi, emilio with a big a55 buncha sandwiches and milk carotn and fruit

sheedy has pixie stix and candy on bread as she wants diabetus

bender mocks hall over his neat and tidy lunch and clean wholesome life

but when emilio asks bender how his fam is, bender shows a darker vierw of abusive p[arents who insult him and say F u in the uncut ver

emilio dont bvuy it but bender shows him a wound of his dad putting a cigar out on him for spuilling paint in the garage

then chimps out, throws books  and climbs a stair thing

vice spills his cr-ppy coffee and bender and guys go out when he goes out somewhere

bender goes to his lockwerr and gets chronic as they dont have dogs in schools yet

on the way back they see vice from behind and spazz out and run like its scooby doo but with 80s msuic

emilio wants to go through the activities hall but bendewr sez caf but they ditch him form no reason and run into a fench

so bender stuffs his chronic in halls pants and runs through the school singing loud to drawe his fire

vice catches him in the gym playing b ball out in the school

when a coupole of guys, who were up to no good, started selling chronic in by b=neighborhood

i burned em at the stake and my mee mah sed; its a good thing that you make those bad guys dead

vice takes him back to get his coat and bashes him for pulling a false alarm and sez "what if ur dope was on fire" and bender sez "itt can't be, its in halls undies"

vice sez in 5 years bender will be a joke and it offends him so he mouths off ito him

So vice takes him to the closet and threatens the punk bender in the future and that no one will believe him if he outs him

my idea; he starts b0ning his a55! but bender sez; jokes on you sir, I have... BUNS OF STEEL!! (he flexes his a55 and snaps off the guys weener.) adult; noooooooooooooooo! give it back! bender; oh i'll give it back! haaaaaaaaaaaaa! (sh-ts his weener out so hard it goes through the adult and nails him to the wall) adult; bender! when I get outta here, your a55 is mine!! bender; glad to hear it sir. as I think we just saw how well that went for you.

so vice offers bender a free punch but its a trap and he;'d get in deep if he did so he dont fall for it

vice goes to take a 30 inch dump and bender goes through the veiling and tells a joke about a naked blonde but falls through the ceiling b4 finishing

bender hides in the library and vice comes in asking what the noise was but they say there was no noise

bender looks up moll;y skirt and she catches his head in her thighs and they cough and make sounds to cover it

vice goes off and bender comers out and gets back his chroinc and molly goes with him to devolve her brains

as does hall before emil lang goes even though hes on ther wrestling team and gets tested

molly bender and hall smoke chronic and emilio rocks out to 80s msuic after doing some

ooh, a confederate flaG IN THE LIBRARY

meanwhile; voce looks through the files and sees 1 guy has a history of mentyal illness and the janitor catches him

vice has to bribe him with 50 $ or he's f'd

good thing theres no cameras here

so sheedy lists facts about hall but its cuz she stole his wallet and read his things

also one of them has a xxx image in his wallet

bender about his many gfs and hall has a fake ID so he can vote

voter fraud is real!

sheedy dumps her purse and a load of sh-t comes out and she sez she wants to run awayu and go to africa cuz her hoime life s-cked

sheedy spazzes out and emilo trues to help her but she rejects him and sez emil has a problem of doing what anyone tells him

emil sez she dumped her purse out and bought them otu and itds a serious moment, only top reveal her rents ignore her

vice tyalks with janitor who sez as a kid he wanted to be john lennon and vice sez each year the kids get worse

but janitor sez the kids didn';t change, he did and his age 16 self wouldnt liker him

vice sez in the fuiture the kids will be in charge and it f's him up

looking at how in the 2010s we had tide pods and the skull cracker challenge; i can see his point

but many people grow and digivolve

i was a c-ck sucker at 16 but grew beter

so the teens talk about what they';d do for 1 millionm $, like doing to school naked and sheedy sez she does anything lusty and is a sercks addict

also she b0ned her shrink as she paid him for it and he's married and molly thinks its gross but sheedy b00ned him a lot

sheedy asks if molly b0ned and sez if you didn't uir a prood and if u did ur a sl-t like bluma in dragon ball

they talk if molly is a teeze and they twist her words and she eventyuually admits to being a virgin and butt virgin

sheedy admits she a virgin and butt virgin but a compulsive liar and molly swears at her

emilio; we're all weird but some are better than others at hidiong it

then he admits to taping a wiener kid's buns together and when they took off ther tape; hius hair and skin came off

but he did it for his dad as he wanted his ad to think hes cool as he had a lot of fun school stories

then goes on about the shame and humiliattion of the butt taped kid and when he told his rents what happened

but that story is kinda funny despite the somber music

someone otta edit this with comedy music or a laugh track

emilio whines about his dad wanting him to be a winner and him hping his knee f--ks out so he wont have to play

yeah cuz being a cripple is easier than saying no to ur dad

hall goes on about how he's failing shop and how he couldnt make a ceramic elephiant lamp and got an F and it was his 1st F and he thoughtn it would be an easy grade as the guys who atke shop are dumbna55es

bender bashes him for being a brain cripple as he takes shop and they talk about the stuff they can do

molly puts on lipstick with her t-ts and bender is sarcastic and the teens swear at him in the uncut version

bender talks back and it devilves into bender telling off molly for having an easy liufe and getting all she wants while he got a carton of smokes for xmas

emilio wopnders if they'll become their parents and molly sez no but sheedy sez yes

hall asks if they'll be friends on monday and molly sez no, then asks emilio if hall came up to him and his frtiends, would he accept him?

bender swears at her for not being friends and molly sez he wouldn't invite hall either to do drugs

bender tells her off and molly sez she hates him and b--ches out

hall sez he wouldn't do that to em and this is sdeeming like the ps2 game Bully witrh the clans of students

molly sez she hates being subserviant to her friends wisdhes as they dont understand her pressure and hall snaps and sez he was gonna suicide as he got an F

but it was a flare gun, which can burn pretty hot andif he put it in his mouth or butt would end himself

the kids laugh at him trying to eat a flare gun and he laughs too

but sheedy reveals she didnt do anythionbg wrong and just came in for detention for fun as she had nothing better to do

then the teen rock out to 80s msuic for a while and hall is actually taller than the other 2 guys, which if you saw edward sissorhands, you'd know he's bigg

so somehow bender gets in the ceiling and crawls back to the closet

molly sez as they all feel the samew; theycasn have hall write the paper for all of them, evben though its not 1000 words and they were each asked to write 1

molly gives sheedy a make over, which isnt done anymore, and she comes out looking less mental and emilio likes her

molly goes  to see bender in the closet and kisses his nack

bender sez he';d be good at her getting back at her parents

emilio; what happened to you? sheedy; clair did it. me; she had some evoilution pills in her bag!

so the tewens leave as dont you forget about me plays and emilio makes out with sheedy

molly gives bender an earing thhat he wears and they make out a bit as her dad is right there in the car

the narrator is hall and says stuff like he said at the start as vice reads it and they are the breakfast club

then bender walks acorss the football field and raises his fist  as the credits roll

the end

what a movie

it kinda was before degrassi and saved by the bell and powert rangers

good acting and music andf themes

good feels and style

dat 80s feel

bender is sarcastic and slick and sly and crafty and takes shots at everything and always has a good comeback. he reminds me of kagefusa from manyuu hikencho

Also he inspired Bender Bending Roderiguez in Futurama and Nelson from The Simpsons

it holds up, even though I never had classism issues in high school

they all add to the story and its a good paced film that dont drag or feel long

The 80s had some of the best movies. heart and feels but humor and tude

this one was great and left an impact on our protoculture

For The Breakfast Club 2 I want it to be the monday after and they are being friends togetehr even though they are from different clans, so their 1st friends shun then and treat them like cr-p, so they gotta fight thewir way through the school and beat the teens doiwn to earn back their pride. Its also a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG165, Atari Jaguar and GBA and you play up to 4 players with the computer playing as players 2-5 and you beat through the teens and in the end face the vice peircilple who has had it with these teens and is gonna beat em dead as he's gven upo on life as the teens drove him to it

Pumpkinhead Review

 Note: I spell like I got pumpkins for brains

Bumpkinhead

This is my review on Pumpkinhead from the didstant future year of 1988(The year the Sega Genesis came out in some parts)

Its based on a poem by Ed Justin I never heard of and is directed by Stan Winston who did the effgects for 80s and 90s films like Batman Returns, Edward Scissorhands, Jurassic Park, Terminator, Aliens and  many other classics

It satrs Lance Henriksen from Aliens, Jeff East from Superman 01, George Buck Flower from Escape From New York, Back to the Futrure, Ilsa She Wolf of the SS, Power Rangers Time Force/In Space, Mayim Bialik from Blossom and Big Bang Theory, Tom Woodruff Jr from Aliens, Terminator, Demoltions Man, The Tremors movies, Hollow Man Jumanji, Cast Away, MNortal Kombat, Godzilla vs. Kong, JKurassic World series and a bunch of others, Dick Warlock from Dunfeons and D0ngfs, a fantasy f--king, jk really hes from the Halloween series, Spreider Man 01, Biug Trouble in Little china 1, Escape from New York, The Green Be\rets and Soylent Green (Which is in 2022) and a bynch of others i never heard of

I saw this b4 and have it on vhs but imma watch this on Comet as its on

So after Logois and credits we get this 50s fam in the country and 50s dad is scared

ooh, its in PROPER fullscreen!

no black bars eating half the picture!

so dad bars the door and this guy is ruinning through the woods in fear and comes to the village\

good smoky night and lighting and feel and msuic

he bangs on 50s homes door asking for help but they leave hi m to die and mom and kid wanna help but dads sez its too dangerous

running guy sez he didnt kill the girl but 50s dad sez he don't know anyonmg of it and running guy books it and is f'd up by this cryptkeeper like abomination as 50s kid watches from his window

then its the 80s and 50sm kid grew up to be lance hendriksen(why not lance b ean from contra or lanbcer from robotech?) and has a son who looks like the kid from jerry mcguire

they have a nince warm father/son moment and its quite loving and happy

really moves the heart

then they eat and kid feeds his dog at the table but dad has him feed it in a bowl

son makes a necklace for hios daddy and daddy is ghruff sounding but has heart

dad tells son a story about a guy whos son would grow up to be special but we dont hear it as we cut to dumba55 teens driving around

f--king teenagers!

When I was a teen I wondered why everyone hated teens

then after watching Degrassi and growing up and seeing how f'd I was: I can see why

So dad and son go to the store to get supplies and have clean fun father/son moments

the teens drive by this guy and 1 says he heard a guy killed his woman and ate her to get rid of the evidence

what is this?! Soviet California?!

1 teen and his woman are drinking and making out and they go by the store and sons dog barks at beer teen

beer teen barks at i mean mocks kids glasses and the other teens are nice to him

beer teen goes moped riding and this onfederate seemin dad with a pickup truck full of kids comes by and they never sawe a camera

the confederate kids act up and 1 older kid warns em to be good or krampus i mean poumpokin head will get em and they sing a poem

good girl teen sez to stop as they're scarting the confederaste kid and the confederate teens go off

confederATE DAD needs his feed from dads store b4 dark and dad lance goes to get it and tells kid to brting da dog inside and be careful

the teens moped around and dad lance goes for the feed but dog gets out and kid runs after him and gets run over by beer teen by mistake as he had jumped a hill and cant change direction in mid air(like road rash)

beer teen freaks out as he was drinking and drives away

so he drank, ran over a kid, and now hes panicing and drivving a car?

why not just spin a relovler?!

so thergood teens go off and i guy stays and when dad comes back he sees how these f--king teenagers have ruined his life

guy there sez it was an accident but lance gives his a death gaze and goes off

meanwhile the teens go to a cabin in the woods and good teen girl trys to call for help but the phone cord was rtipped out by beer teen as hes on probatioon now and thinks his avoiding jail is more important than a boys lifew

the teen fight for a bit and beer teen is slugged but head nails the guy who did it with an item

lance is sad his kid died and tells him the story of the guy with a son he loved but the kid says his last words and bites it

its actually well done and i almost cried

so drunbk teen seals the good teens in a closet as he dont wanna be b0ned dead in prison (which he kinda deserevs) and guy who stayyed behind says he told lance it was an accident but lance gave the death gaze

lance drives his pickup truck by this redneck looking place and drops off the feed and asks confederate dad where this witch is as he wants her to fix his dead kid

onfederate dad sez the only thing she can do is sewnd him to h-ll and wont tell him where she lives

but confederate son helps lance get her for money and is taken with him part way

he goes there and The with is creepy and is played by a chick i never hear weho doesn't seem to have any info of online

perhaps they used a real witch? She seems all decroded so she might have been from the Civil war and extended her life with naecromancy

she sez she cant raise the dead but he offers her a bag of silver dollers and says he saw the pumpkinhead thing long ago and wants vengenace

she sez theres a high price and he dont care as they killed his boy

she sez theres a place where they berry people they are ashamed of and to dig a thing out of there and bring it back

btw the kid being run over and trying to be brought back was kinda like Pet Semetary

and the grave digging adds to it

so he gores to this misty place like as mofern day 30s fiolm and 

digs in this mound thing awith pumpkins on it and finds this corpse thing he pulls out

So its nigfht and 1 teen suggests he takes the heat for beer teen killing that kid as "hed just get a slap on the wrist" but beer teen dont consent

So lance brings the corpse to the witch who says its a demon fort mans evil to get revengenace

she cuts his hand and uses his blood to make a pact with it and does it with his sons dead blood

clips from interview with a vampire where tom cruise spazzers out from eathing dead blood

lacncer is kinda f'd and the daemon comes to life and is all grotesque and corpsey

she tells him he can go now and he drives and sees his son sit up and ask "what'd you doo daddy?" but its just a vision

lance berries his son and sez to his wifes plot "they killed out boy and now they';re gonna pay"

2 teens are out and 1 holds a crsos to the other to encourage her to do whats right and the monster grabs him and brings him to the trees as lance experiences it all through the monsters eyes!

cross chick returns to ther cabin and beer teen and another go out to look for the one who got it but dont find him

they are gonna go back but it drops tree teens body by em and catches abnother teen as lanmce experiennces it carving a crosss on her head

lance drives to the witch saying this isn't what he wanted as he sees it but she sez she can't stop it and mocks him for thinking revenge would be clean aand easy

cross teens head is sqyuished on a window and shes iced and beer teen goes out yelling "i';m da 1 u want" and eventually the thing confronts him

he swings a knife At it  but it catches hhis arm and takes his gf, drags her out and drops her from a tall ttree

lance comes by the cabin with a shotgun and the teens left a while ago, then we see the teens banging on doors in a village asking for help

1 redneck pulls a shotgun on em and tellls em to gtfo  as if he helps em,, it'll come for him!

accessory after the fact!

then pumpkin head shows up but lance fiorres his shotgun at it like Devoilman OVA 01

1 teen goes by it and is grabbed, oh its beer teen, but it gets up and stans him right through with a shotgun like Michael Myers did in that 1 Halloween sequel

so now the teens are hiding by a house and the confederate teen who showed the lance the witch for 20$, goes out to help em to see it the pumpkinhead is real or not

what is this? dinks who try things they see on 1000 ways to die?!

if ur right its gonna kill you!!

he tells the teens they're marked (Like in berserk??) and they go off to a ruined church thinking it'll protect em from the daemon

confederate teen tells em about it and says its called pumpkinhead as its  from the pumpkinhead graveyard

tteens say their friend ran over a kid by mistake and conffederate teen sez kid bit it and pumpkinhead comes into da ruined churchg (whuch was a good iddea to fight evil with holy)

good light and wind and smoke effects. very 80s

lancer asks for help from confederate dad but onfedtera dad pulls a rifle on him and sends him away

teens try to get away in car or bike or w/e but poumpkinheadvgets the chgaiuin to the thing and takes out 1 teen

lancer meets confederate teen and good teen and confederate teen sez "pumpkinhead is real!" like lanncer wouldnt know!

its like telling the queen that diana was wacked!

So the last teen pumpkinhead got isnt dead yet anbd is beibg drAGGED and lancer and the teens go to lancers house

good teen tells lancer it was an accidfent and pumpkinmhead goes in this house and gets the confederate teen and it looks better thancg ever could

it carrys him outsiode and lancer's eyes f;';'d over as pumpkinhead dshares minds

lancer gets stabbed by mistam,e on a putchfork and puipkinhead takes the same damage

good teen takes a flamethrower to pumpkinhead but it does jack sh-t

its face turens like lancers and lancer gets his firearm and puts 1 in ht ehead

but hes not dead yet and good teen finishes him of and the monster catches fire like in The bible with Elijah

later thw witch brings lancers body to the pumpkin patch and bnerries him in the pumpkinhead mound as he wears his sons necklace

the end

griup; james moiriarty, like the sherlock hjholmes ghuy?

oh and theres good rock country 80s music

overall, i liked it

simple premice, told well, good effects, nice message and cool music

the Father and Son moments are actually warm and loving. It really shows how much this guy loves his kid and why he does what he does

It shows the dangers of revenge and how it only brings ruin and damage instead of justice

Also ther dangers of beer and how, to quote Cyber City Oedo 808: The drug resuylts in impaired motere neuron responces that will hinder your work

also it shows how owning a pet can be bad as if it weren't for that dog; the kid wouldn't be out and got runned over

its a nice above average 80s horror and no nude scenes or b0ning

glad i saw it

For Pumpkinhead II I want the kid in heaven to have an angel sent to free his dads soul from the pumpkinhead thing and it. The witch summonms the demons she works for and they devolve the area intyo a h-llhole! So the Angel has to fight the daemons and free the area! Also its an 8 bit side scroller on Gameboy, Nes, Master System, Game Gear, TG166, Atari Jaguar and Lynx where you fight through these La bLUE GIRL mONSTERS AND take on big 8 bit bosses likee in Castlevania