Li'l Abner Review

 Note: I spell a Lil Abominous

Li'l Abner

This is my review on Li'l Abner from trhe distant future year (to paul revere) of 1959(40 years before the SDF-1 hended thre Global Civil War of the 90s in Robotech)

Its directed by Melvin Frank who did nothing I saw

It stars Peter Palmer from sdoman no wang h0m0 I Mean Edward Scissorhands, Leslie Parrish from the 50s Daddy Long Legs\the 60s The Manchurian Candidate\the 60s Batman, Stubby Kaye from Who Framed Roger Rabbit\The Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County, Howard St. John from Strait Jacket, Stella Stevens from the 60s the nutty profossor\\The Poseidon Adventure, Julie Newmar from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes\Seven Brides for Seven Brothers\Return to the Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt\Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders\ da 60z twilight zone and batman and and star trek/The Beverly Hillbillies\Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Billie Hayes from The Nightmare Before Christmas/Johnny Bravo/The Batman/Talespin/Rubrats/Transformers/Duckman/Bonkers/Problem Child/Darkwing Duck, Robert Strauss from The Seven Year Itch\The Man with the Golden Arm, Alan Carney from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\The Comancheros, Joe Ploski from Tjhe Twilight Zone, Jerry Lewis from Road to Bali/the 60s The Nutty Professor\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\The Day the Clown Cried\the 60s Batman\SVU, the wonfdderful Donna Douglas from the 60s The Twilight Zone\The Beverly Hillbillies\The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!\Jerryn Springer, Valerie Harper from Touched By An Angel\Promised Land\Drop Dead Diva\The Simpsons\American Dad!, Beth Howland from Sabrina the Teenage Witch\Batman Beyond, Brad Harris from Spartacus\Patton, Gordon Mitchell from The Man with the Golden Arm\The Ten Commandments\Around the World in 80 Days\Rio Bravo\Spartacus, and a bunbcha others noyt on sissy a55 wiikipedia or in anythin I've seen.

I never saw this nor read the comics but I think its about a pig or something

so its in widescreen and colored and we staret wiuth the camera moving through the woods like Sp[latterhouse 2 on gENEsis to some crooked town like the cabinmet of dr caligary

then title and a guy is thrown out and people open fire on eaCHJ OTHER LIKE ITS SOVIET CALIFORNIA

THEY SING OF HOW ITS AS REGULAR DAY AND F OFF CAPS LOCK, GO GET B0NED BY A DOG

thenb credits and i loke the design and co9lor and stylethis chick who's too hot for the 40s comes out with a pig and sings and this guy on a horse comes over to findf a wife

a big buff guy ,ike bluto from popeye is earthquake mcgoion like earthquake in samurai showdown and wants a chick named daisy who is into li'l abner

this chick sews this guys a55 shut and sing of how li'l abner is like luffy or goku and he gets up and dont want a girl like hes sonic

then its sadie hawkins dasy like sadie tyhompson and the horseman sam  comes over and the chicks want him and he gives the money rates foir marriage and the girls are hgonna get boyffriends

baCK WHEN GIRLS LIKED GYS AND DRESSEd good instead of billy eyeless and lady gaga

this seems like a redneck townb so the people are jolly and positiver

sam meet availsable jones and hes made a miussile or riocket in this hicktown  and sounds like jim cvummings and looks like eddy deezen

a girl gets sam and sez someone has business and after she goes sam finds shes married

abner is gonna go fishing and his rents have him take yokim baby tonic and has him stayt to try to marry daisy and have same come and when dad say he might not be reaxy, his woman sends him to town as i guess sdhe owns him

abner respects his mom and America but goes off fishing and then sam comes in

his horse is named s0fia like how the hebrew mysti8cism and templaers worship

mom talks with sam of a 2$ wedding whjere he wrestles 4 bigest guests and tells stories to embarass the guests then is drawn and quyartered , but b4 he can finidsh, daiusy comes in saying she was invited to her wedding of her and earthquuake

she didn't wanna marry him as i guss he's b0ne her dead wqith his muscle power

earytthquake comes over and says hes the worlds dirtiest wrestler and is rich now but here the protocuylture says the women catch the guys they want on sadie hawkings day

but eartyhquake knows a senator whos comming here and he'sd got plans for an 8 $ wedding and even though sam dont like him, he can't refuse service and goes with it

daisy looks like one of those caveman chicks with her blonde hair, daisy dukes and small top

meanwhile, abner is fishing with his roogs and singing  of how he likes not habvomng to do work aand daisy comes by with her naked bare feet showing to bring abner as his mom wants him

abner says this place is men only andafter being told of earcyhWQUE WANTING HER, HE SEZ only women can catch men but when she sez its a corn pone meeting, the men all come

at da corn pone meeting they reveal the town was founded y a guy named cornpone who fouight for the confederacy and f'd up a lot

then sam sings a jaunty tune of jubuilation cornpone (like jubilsation lee from x mren?)  and he called retureat like he'sd cobra commander

the whole town ssings and damces like a broqadwway musical of the 1940s

abner and friends come in to ask why theres a cornpone meeting and then the reason come and its the senator who came in a cr-pmobile and eventually says he got the senate to pass the Jack S bill

he evantually reveals that vegas is by a nuke testing place and the nucular fall out is f ing vegas to devolve em into fallout and the Jack S bill is gonna send the nukes here as its the place that no one needs

the gov is gonna exile them but its sold to em as "good" like how the gov says "this bad thing is good and is gonna help you cuz we know better" and the people celebrate that they are gewtting f'd

kinda like tankor in beast machines wanting his "reward" of getting his spark sucked out

they dance around like kung fu ret-rds for a while and its actually pretty food i mean good and they got good movies and skill

good livbely music too

earthgqwuake claims daisy as his woman and she sends abner to beat him but but abners mom sez he cant cuz its sadie hawkingds day the women choose a man

earthwuake sez on wednesday they nuke the town, and sadie hawkings day is fdriday

so now the law goes bqack to the old law wherfe man calls on a woman as his prize and if the next of kin agrees, then he gets her

whhaT YEAR IS THTS?!

evenatually abnewr claims daisy and i guess the code of the hills is from monopoly ruiles of auctions

earthquake sez he got this devolved guy romeo to agree and daisy says hes from the devolved side of the family that she only hangs with on weddings and hangings

rtomeo reveals he was paid 4$ which is a lot in whatever year this is and daisy says she'd go with the code of the hills as she respects the law, but asks the gov guy if they'd nuke it if therte was something worth saving in it

he sez if theres anything the town contribuites to the America of US Americans in the America, they'd nuke something else

the town chicks who wants men wanna be citified but ma says how theres engagements that last too long and other cr-ppy city things like women working and the town dont want that

so they all p[rance off and 2 have a big a55 confederate flag and go to find something the town adds to the value of American Protoculture

daisy asks why abner claimed her and he se=d he couldnt let earthquake have her but in the past he wanted her to catch him and this voice in his head got him to outrun her

whhat about guys who like really fat chicks? do they fake being crippled so trhe girls can catch up to em?

what if its like my 600lb life and they struggle to walk? a lot of guys are into that. look at the half ton sisters on TLC! that blob who looks like she's melting met a guy online and they b0ned!

soi daisy sings a love song about how she loves lil abner and he sings back about how she deserves him and theyare lobing and innocent and romantic and positive and nice

so then everyone shows the gov guys their cr-p and tries to show they are of value and the govb guys thnk its all cr-p

abner brings his anvil and carrys it like its a bag of launddry as i guess he's He Man or Optimus Prime

wait, Red shirt, blue overalls, Honorable, Brave, Kind, Honest, oh no! he IS Optimus Prime!

Does that make his da Alpha Trion?

available jones comes in with his nujke and in it is some curvy swimsuit chick posing hot and saxamaphone music plays as guys cover theiur eyes and  and she shows off her armpuits

her ability stupifies any man and i think its an artificual huamn or jinzoningen like android 18 in dbz

gov guy dont like it and ma shows them the yokim berry jiuce that made abner an alpha male

gov guy dont care and the people say they like this place and its got value to them as its where their history is rom

the 1 indian guy in there brings his home maDE BOOZE AND he hates it and needs water

earthwquake gives him yokim berry tonic and he hulks out and becomes an alpha male

they see its aparenly steroids and wanna test it on people and the chiucks in town offer their bf's to be he manned

what if a chick drinks it? will she be supoer curvy? or will it make her hulk ouit like a Go Nagai Bodybuilder?

so the abner goes with the gov guys and word gets out on the news and he'd give the rights to da gov and the soviets report on it too

senatgor is told by a general that he wants the rights to the yokim berry and wants more money as when he was a kid he wanted all the money in da world

generals woimanwhos kind of a bimbo comes in and he wants her to trty to get abner to give him the rights

abner comes in and asks what she does and general sez shes aN EXECT SECRETARTY AND GETS PAID TO BE WITH HIM

abner; you get bed and board?

bimbo; a lot of both

abner sez he told the prez and how it stopped his hometown from getting nuked but general tries to convince him to sell it to him

abner says hes an american and trusts the gov and wont go to the corporations and has to get back to his town for sadie hawnings day and the bimbo tries to secuce him but he resists as hes goku or goku jr aka luffy

general learns of sadie hawkins day from senatror and wants his bimbo to catch abner and get his rights to it then wack abner so she'd get the whole rights

bimbo dont wanna do it but general is gonna send her back to the car wash where he found her and she is coerced like with weinsatein or the other creepoos in holly wang

at hick town abner tells how washington is clean and non crooks but he's trusting ands dont see it

then abner sings of politics with sam about how the systemn works and the country heads know whats good

to be fair, as people dump on politivs today, it could be weorse like china or cuba or korea or tyhe ussr or argentina or mexico or africa or haiti oire wengland

at least America has Freedom of Speech and The Right To Bear Arms asnd Self Defence and owning property and the Church is protecyed from the state and like half the country knowws evolutuion is fake and more kbnowe global warming is fake

also the race starts at 2 pm and they gon get readyy but daisy didnt come to meeet him, waitr, there she is and they are glad to see each other

they talk of how he might let her finally catch him  by taking a quicxk path and he'd slip on greese gulch but he plans on still running on but dont know but wants to let her catch him

available sells chicks items to beat guys and daisy comes to him ti fuiux the race so she wins and he goes for a 1$ to use his sister or w/e stupifying jones and he wears specioasl specs toprevent himself from beuing seduced

then general bimbo andssenator come by and want available jones to fix the race so abner is caught

jones gets evl eye fleegle whos really carytoony and lie some kind of vermin  and scurries around and has the power to stun people wuith a look like arbok using glare in pokemon

general offers evil eye a job for life aNSD HE SCURRIES OFF in his bright green mafia dsuit

then itts the timee for the racewand 1st gunshjot ends the men running and 2nd sends the chix after em

its like a looney toons thing and bimbo ewalks andsavailable i mrean stupidfying jones the jinzo ningen dances around anda gfuy stopps and s caught

lots of well choreographed dancing and prancing like a hetero west side story

stupiifying jones stuins abner but ges carried off by a bunxcha guys and no not like THAT

after much evasion and avoision,m stupifdying jones comes by and a bunxcha guysd are caught

you know whartt this eminds me of? eiken! how densuke had to race that guy tio get chiharu

so abner is stuinned by evil eyes and earghhjquake holds daisy off and bimbo catches him and now hes her indntured saerrvant

its a bummer moment abnd kinda emotional and hes away in a car by thee bad guys

so abner is in the papers as a celeb aND IS GONNA MARRY THE BIMBO in a few days WHO PROBASBLY HAS SOMETHING FROM THE GENERAL AND A;LL THE WOMEBN HE had

daisy senses something about abner and sam sendsher to ma to have her cast a spell to see the future or w/e whivh theres stufff in The Bible afgainst

is this how pumokin head happened? is ma the witch from there? that's f;'d!

then the redneck chicks are going to washington to get their manlier husbands with kits from availavble jones withlingeree and perfume and msuic

saisy is bummed as she's almost 18 and thinks she might be too old for guys to wanna b0ne her and sings with sam for a whilke on it

also; 18 is too 0old? what is tyhis? hollywoodf?! or the yellow guy from sin cituty whos is probably based on a lot of celebs

then they hear wailing and screaming and run to avbners home and ma is doing black magic to see if abner is ok

we see him and a buncha manly dudes in a lAB BEING EXAMINED IN SYNCHRO AND the dr sez the gove is moving up the finishing date on the tests and tells genberal

gen sdez the thing will be done b4  he can have his bimbo married toabner and needs to get the secret recipie and gets evil eye to use his powers like hes a yugioh card and make abner tell the truth

also he can dio half truths and other things as evil eyes has experience playing cards

iis this where jojo's bizzare adventure got it from?

buff guys and weird powers

bimbo worries of them wacking abner and evil eye sez he has a suyifcide spell but it only worjks when the victim is drunk

abner is a REAL American so he's a good Role Model like He Man or The Power Rangers or  Optimus Prime and dopnm't do bAD things like drinking or b0ning or swqearing

bimbo figures they can use the soviety party and have him drink a toast to his bride and all this was seen by ma and sghghe spazzes oiut

she tells the people and realize theyt can use earthquake to sdsave abner and if she does she'd marry him

this is like some kinda lon chaney film where the hero sdacrifices hiis chaNCE WITH THE GIRLK TO LET HER BE HAPPY

SO THE REDNECKS RIDDE OVER AND ABNER IN THIS ROOM IS LOOKING AT A PHOTOP OF DAIISY AND SHE COMES IN AND SEZ SHE SNEAKED IN AS I GUESS SHES A NINJA

she tellw himgeneral is ghonna uice him butabner thinks shes only aying it cuz she loves him

he h0onotrs the code of the hills ,ike a samurai abnd the bushido code and then hes at a dance like gone with the winbd

the rednecks come in and 1 by 1 remove the high class guys who are probablyu justr as inbred as them

chaos breaks oput and the cops come in and get em at gunpoint and tell em to get

earthquake sez hes gonna go aand proposes a toast to abner and general says it as evil eyes charghes up and fires a ki attack or something

earthquake uses his kusdari gama and slices evil eyes in 2,m then swings it around and ther heads of general flies off with a firehose of blood

jk thats samurai shodown, really heblocks with a metal tray likemixchael keaton in tim burtons bastman and it hits thwe general

now general has to tell the truth and reveals his scheme and the cops hear and take him away

the military comes in and tells em they are gonna go homew and get out of it as the town is gonna get nuked and the expeiment on the tomum berry thing was a failure

they go to the lab to see and the chicks who wanted theiur men upgraded see them as manly he men bodybuilders in briefs with names on theur butts

the chicks go to seduce their husbands but thgey aint interested in the women and only wamnna pose and look buff

its revealed they become perfect looking and acting but it makes em lose interest in women

the girls realize they dont want a look but dont touch husband and want the men turned back to normal

might as well marry a statue of a naked man like from europe in the museums

although this could be useful in making super solfiers who wouldnt be distacted by gaijin chix

the redneck dames are  sendc back to pack up and get out b4 they get nuked and the he men stay behind and are gonna be studied and probably vivisecnted

daisy reveals she promised earthquake that she'd mary him if he saved abner

daisuy talks with abner about how they gotta foillow the code of the hills liek the code of the west in the wwild west C O W boys of moo mesa

they feeled bummed and sing and its bummer and she goes off with earthquake to be b0ned forever

ma whines about how she f'd her boy with his poisons she gamve him and pa tells her off and sends her off as he's had enought of her cr-=p

pa has a romance potion tht can romantisize them and its from general cornpone

but it only works if you want it to wqork and avbner wants it and sends the men off to town evben though the army sez they gotta stay

then he calls town and sends the message to stall and back at town we get daisy in her redneck chick outfit and bride head thing and is gonna marry her to earthquake

sam sez he has to get in an 8$ mood for an 8$ wedding as its the process of remobing weeds from the garden

daisy reveals her inbred fam is gonna move in with em as he's a rich guy compared to them and her other fam is comming and they arrive

they look like tbney wetre civil war survivors and never improved after being shot up by yankees

sam sings a wedding marriage song about how going back to Adam and Samson and other histotical fuigures had marriages and it ewnt f'd

is he gonna go across all human hostory from eden to whatever year this is?

so hes gonna marry em and abner is hgonnastop the wedding and his dad is gonna bring cornpones potion

the inbred relatives say therss no such thing and earthquake  says hes gonna let daisy marry abner

pa gets this jug of greek water i mean cheek water and he chuggs it and goers to marry daisy

the men who wewre manned up are normal now and the chicks love em as they are which is a good lesson not to make your lover change and love em as they are

like in shallow hal withouth gweneth pltrow in a fatsuit

so da gov comes to send em on their way as the palne is gonna nuke the town and they try to briung the stystue of cornpone with em and a piece falls and breaks

in it is a letter from lincon who sez that cornpone deticated the statue to cornpone as a national shine as he made the south lose

the plane is stopped  and you cant damage a national shrine or nuke it or move it

b4 marrying em, sam hopnors jubilation t cornpone and they sing his song and abner smooches daisy

the end

that was great

fun, colorful, innocent, yet odfdly dark under the surface

it seems like a livbely cartoon movie butb has darker undertones kinda like starship troopers

good acting and the cast is likable and has great moves and action

they prance like ninja rednecks and its all welkll planned and designed

its like 2 hours but holds up and feels fresh

it reminds me of the 80s popeye movie with robin williams but that had a grittier look and feel and this is more shellacked and shined and artificial and clean

the characters are goode rednecke folke and have a nice feel and wholesomeness to em but a bit of hottness and zazz

i never read the comics and only heard the name of it but this ewas quite enjoyable and has nice heart and life

For Li'l Abner 2 I want the gob to be using the people of the town for expeirments and slipping yokim berry things in the water to see how it might affect people and various othe ragents that might negate the side effects, but this makes the people, guys and girls all msucley and strong and with pa's cure, he gets em to think its a cure and they dont have any effects, thinking they found the solution but really the thing they put in to counter it was  put in at the same time as pa's cure, they put it into production and start making super soldiers to face the soviets, but the sovciets have made their ape men that stalin wanted in the 20s and they have a battle in alaska, also its a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where tyouy play as either the american yokem berry boosted soldiers oir ythe soviet ape men and battle across alaska with various cryptids and alaska uyokai and daemons arriving, also the level order is reversed when you play as the other side.