The Road To Denver Review

Note: I spell like douch park I mean South Park

Thjew Roafd To Denmver

This is my review on The Road To Denver from the distant fuiture year of 1955 (50 years efore Transformersa The Movie)

Its dirtected by Joseph Kane who duid nothing I saw

it stars John Payne ffrom Miracle on 34th Street\Kansas City Confidential\Santa Fe Passage, Lee J. Cobb from Anna and the King of Siam\On the Waterfront\12 Angry Men\Exodus\the ww2 Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse\How the West Was Won\Mackenna's Gold\The Exorcist, Ray Middleton(knight?) from 1776\Charlie's Angels\M*A*S*H, Skip Homeier from The Rifleman\The Ghost and Mr. Chicken\The Incredible Hulk, Andy Clyde from Annie Oakley, Lee Van Cleef from Kansas City Confidential\The Lawless Breed\Joe Dakota\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\For a Few Dollars More\The Good, the Bad and the Ugly\Escape from New York\The Rifleman\The Andy Griffith Show, Karl Davis from Mighty Joe Young\Demetrius and the Gladiators, Glenn Strange from  House of Frankenstein\House of Dracula\Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein , Robert 'Buzz' Henry frtom the 30s little women, Dan White from Gone with the Wind\The Grapes of Wrath\Beyond Tomorrow\Our Town\The Yearling\Duel in the Sun\Red River\David and Bathsheba\The Red Badge of Courage\The Ten Commandments\Giant\The Rainmaker\Touch of Evil\The Proud Rebel\Attack of the Giant Leeches\To Kill a Mockingbird\Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter\the 60-s Twilight Zone\The Rifleman\The Beverly Hillbillies, Robert Burton from The Band Wagon\The Tall T\Birdman of Alcatraz\The Manchurian Candidate, Emory Parnell from The Maltese Falcon\The Outlaw\Tall in the Saddle\The Lawless Breed\The Band Wagon\The Andromeda Strain, and some other c-ck suckers in never saw sh-tting up the screen in a monkey spurm movie

i never saw this b4 but its by republic puictures who did good things

After title andf creditys we get a voice over of a guy saying on cattle traILS AND HOW HE/BRO WENT ON EM

Itys colored but not vivid and in Proper Ful;lscreen

aso the guys have a roodeo with guys ruiding horses as they get flung off

main guy i think is bet he cant riide a horse with ATTITUDE and he takers it on as to quote rastan saga II; timidness does not conquor

hes flown off as his thing got caught  abnd don't get a do over so a fight breaks out

the guy who jyuude him  banngs his herad onda fence and ois probably a vegetablre so tthe brpo or masin guy or w.e is taken in to jail

sherrif is tired of brother beating guys up and gives him a month in jail and the lAYWEWR  thinks he belonmgs there and woont help him

at night in the coainum snoow, main guy ises his horse to break open the jail wall and break his bro out

2010s king john; IIIIIII decLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAre yoUUUUUUUUUUUUU An OUTTTTTTTTTTLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW

so the brothers skip town and change their names when they only had tosit in a sh-tty hole in the walls a55 for a month

they go to bet work and claim to be partners and not broters, which nowadys peoiple might theink they were butt buddies

bro hears and goes in toi the bar to get a drink ad the boss he never saw mouths off about beating the Confederates and bro tells him off

this devolves into a fist fight then gun fight and bro caps a guy

they catch him and main guy sez "this is how we rangdle rebels" and slugs the guy holding him and they book it but the townsfolk chasew em

main gun has enought of his sh-t and kills him

jk really he tells him off andf sez "iu've had it with you" and how he didn't raise him right

bro sez "u just like telling us what to do" and pulls a gun but is slugged out and told "don't draw unless u wanna use it"

bro sez he could have iced main gun but main guy sez he couldnt

so main guy goers to another town and has a steak and a smoke when burgers are better and he can't find his money

the restaurant thnks hes fakingh and he offers to wash dishes, or pay it back with labor, like an indentured servant

hes in denver and in the kitchen this guy in a suit offers him a place to sleep as he's honorasnble and statys calm

he offers him a propasition, which is probably in the real version, b0ning

outside the suit guy offers him work on a farm and he consents for 2$ a day

he's given a place to sleep and thge guy in the barn where he'd sleep dont like snoring and boss brings main gun in and meets his daughtyer and has a dinner

he gets along with daughter but breaks dishes and thinks its ok for men to do dishes

i mean is slaves can do it, men can dtoo

also later theres a dance comming and main gun wants to dance with chick

so bro comes by and sees chick and goes in for som,e whiskey in a bar and plays a card game with a guy for money

he keeps losing and doubling his losses each time as a crowd gathers 

when its nearly 1000 $ he tells him not to finger the cards (tee hee) and when dealer does he pulls a gun on him as dealer stands up to him

casino night zone owner comes in and bro has him cut and wins and owner sez pribvatly that he can use him as he is smart in knowing owner cant afford to let him lose that hand

thats some yugioh/hokuto no ken/go nagai sh-t

at the dance main gun dances with chick and is rveealed to be a texas

at the dance its revealed the casino guy owns the biggest salloon and gamblinbg den in town and people hate him

bro meets chick and flirts with her and sez "b4 he does anything, he asks, if the worst thing happens,, is it worth it?" bro meets main guy and prtend they dont know each other in front of her

bro keeps his fake name and makes 1000$ a month and main guy dont like it but bro sez "for big money u gotta take chances" and dont wanna give it up

bro and chick go otu and smooch and when main guy comes in, she sez; its ok, hes just a kid

you kissed a kid?! creeper!

nah when women go after kids its not seen as bad

so later suit guy wants main guy toget hroses as the guy holding em isn't gonna and geezer who dont like snoring tells not to peep in places not for u, by telling a sotry of a guy egtting his thumb eat by an armadillo

they go out and geezer sez its gotta be kept secret as they dont want casino man to get em and these bad guys are following em

later the baddz try jacking the hordes and taking off but main guy and ggeezer open fire and a shot gun fight comes out

main guy sneaks around as geezer has him under cover fire and takes down the shooter and beats himn up

main guy goes out and when the bad guys back up somes, they get geezer at gunppoint and main guy comes out and disarms em at gunpoint and ties em up

i think they left em out to be eaten by animals and yokai

later casino guy coems out and confronts suit saying "i saw a lot of horses stampeding and they weren't urs cuz the only way you'd have that many is to start a coach line and u aint doing that"

suit walks inside and is gonna get his gun but main guy come sin with the horses and captured guys

suit sez he didn't want casino to find out yet but now he did and invites main gun to be his partner for 1/2 the profits to help him in making the coach line work

casino guy wants to stop suit but brop sez to let him make the coach thing and take it over

casino night zodomite sends his goons and i think bro to jack some horses a55es

suit knows main guy and bro are connected as their horses have the same brand and wonders what they did that needed to skip texas, but will let him keep his secret

main guy sez he broke out bro from jail and boss sez he knew bro was a wild one

later bro goes to buy steers from a guy but guy sez he sed he'd cap the next guy casino sent and guy shoots 1 of the goons after goon fires but bro returns fire and nails the guy

guy isn't dead and the 3 goons go off and goon had stictches in his head from the fight

casiono wants the goons to turn themselves in and spend a few hours in jail untilits settled cuz guy shot 1st(i was wrong in the above statement)

in jail bro tells head shot goon to shut his a55 from his pain and chcik sees bro in jail cuz women like bad boys

she sez shes only here cuz main guy is out of town and wants him to get out of working with casino guy

bro dont care as he makes a lot of money (like doing naecro p0rn0?) and he tries smooching her butshe dont consent and slaps him and leaves

farmer guy with the steers and not queers cuz this isn;t soviet california, admitted he shot 1st and the guys are let out

maibn guiy plans out a route and places to stay and talks with suit and finds they are gonna get a gov mail contract

main guy coimes back to the house and has a silt pink thing thats probably not unties for chick and chick sez how bro shot a man but he lived

main guy talks with bro about him capping a guy and how if you kill someone ur never the smae

bro sez main guy spendt a year in jail for that and when main guy offers bro half of his half of the companyy, bro sez hes doing it as a favor to bail his a55 out

bro sez to stay outta his life like a little b--ch and afetr main guys goes, headshot goon fights and ius beat down by him, and when bro leaves, he sees him in the mirror and caps himn

latewr suit gets a gold shipmetn to for gov and if they lose it, they f'd

surviving goon hears and tells casino candya66 and whenbro comes up whinign aboutm not being given a good price to try getting cattle from, casino offerds him a cigar

as he reaches w/o his gun, casino man grabs him and sez he knows bro and main guy are btrohers and wants main guy to come see him

bro sent main guy a note saying bro is in troubl;e and needs him to come to save his candya66 and main guy is suspect

chicm sez it might be real as bro didnt ask for help b4 and dont scarfe easy

also casino guy is named donovan like the sodomite from berserk lgbtquia2+map black guy

main guy goes to see casino guy who wants the gold and main guy sez no

casino implies hes gonna end his bro and when main gun asks what he'd do if he got the gold, casino sed he'd give em 24 hours to gtfo

donovan sez they wont tell as they'd be in it as deep and get the blame

main guy goers off on his gold rush and the town sez bye and has hope

so this guuy i think the brother gets to this stop saying main gun is expectiong gim  and later main guys comes by and as everyones in, the carts are changed out and the gold moves from 1 to the other

the new goons aseay bro is iced iof he treis anythign and main guy asks for a horse to borrow from some guy

the new gewns go off and as  suit is going to depart, main guy sez "this is as far as i go" and lets suit lead the trail and main guy riudes off

later brother comes back to donopvan to not be butt hammered and wait its main guy and he sez hes here to see donovan holds up his end

the gold comes in and bro sez "u chump1 you think they'd kill me?!" and mocks him for beign a good guy

they open the box and its ful of rocks and main guy sez "i knew i couldnt trust you megatron" and the goons attack and main guy beats theirn a55es

in the chaos guyns break through the wood casino hand rails and donocan coems around and in the salloon and fires on main guy but mnain guy juimps and puts 2 in the chest

main guy sees bro holding a gun and he shoots ut outta bros hand, which in real life would destroy his hand

main guy sez "draw the other one" and as bro comes down, he steps f--ked and main guy puills faster

main guy walks out AND BRO AIMS AT HIM BUT DONT FIRE and they both go out as gone with the wind music plays

seeing thew error of his ways, bro throes his gun in the water and sez "u were right, i couldnt" and has a smoke

so later main guy is smoochjing the chick as bro drives the cart sayign just married and they are probably b0ning in the rocking cart

the end

that was pretty good

the guy newver gave up on his brother and won him over

kinda Biblical, but not like Cain and Abel, Joseph and his bros trrrying to kill him, or Jacob nearly killed by Esau

its well made and while the acting could be better, the story was great and the musiuc was good

good twists and i thought it might be a thing of them going from town to town being kicked by the bros actics

hes's not stoopid, just impulsive

he did beat the casiino in cheeting

it doesnt drag and has good flow and don't feel like 90 mins + 30 of adds on Grit to get it to 2 hours

I liked this one and it had a positive ending

Also its not a Bob Hope movie like The Road to bali

For The Road To Denver 2 I want a shipment of women to a down that needs wives to have vanished and when the brothe goes to check it oiut, he finds they were capuured by sasquiatch who wanna use em for breeding. So he has to save trhem and get them out of the sasquatch dimension and sneak around whjile capping sasquatch with a Holy Gun. Also its a 16 bit game like Impossible Mission or Flashback but not so randomized and on Segha Genesis, Snes, GBA, TG16 and Atari Jaguar where you sneak artound the dimension and rescue the women while avoiding or wasting sasquatches andin the end, set the dimension to implode and get out in time.