Lawman Review

 nOTE: sPELLING BAD IS FOR sTEVEn Segal, Wait, Wrong LawmaN!

Lawman

tHIS Is my rview on Lawman from 1971 (The year my cool 90s aunt was born)

its dirtected by micxhael winner who did Death Wish 1 2 and 3

it stars Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan from the 60s King of Kings, Lee J Cobb (Not Lee Harvey Oswald or Robert E Lee) from Robert E I mean On the Waterfront, RobdERT Duval, Sheree North from Seinfeld, J D Cannon frop  Cpool Hand Luke, Joseph Wiseman fromn Law and Order, Richar Jordon from Logans Run, John McGiver from Breajkfast at Tiffanies, Ralph Waite from The Waltons, John Beck from Audrey Rose and Star Trek 06, Walter Brooke from Yankee Doodle Dandy, Richard Bull from littlehouse on the prarie, John Hillerman froim asudrey rose, Hugh McDermott from First Men in the Moon, Wilford Brimley from The Thing and some 20s guys i never heard of

I never saw this b4 but hear its good

so it starts withrowdy cowboys shootimng up a town and starting fires b4 moving on with a guy having a f'd face

then credits over a cowboy riding across a wasteland and an extra horse with a bofdy on it til he gets to town

1 guy identifies the body as his bro in law and burt tells the sherrif he needsa men and givves a list

a guy named bronson and his droogs took 8000 cows and f;d a town and iced a dude

but sherrif sez the people like bronson cuz they think he helps em, like candya55 trudeau in soviet canada

but burt is going after em and 1 name on the list is the body on his horse as he called burt out

so burt goes around and signs into a hotel and we switch to a guy riding over to tell some mr burns looking guy that the body on the horse is a guy he knew

oh thats bronson and is told of burt wanting revenge

1 of bronson burns men who's on the list of people burt wants in h-ll wants to ice burt but bronson sez no

then its night and burt is playing his flute (not with skin) and a chick comes in who knew him years ago and her butt buddy is on hisd kill list

he just does work for bronson but didnt ice anyone

he sez if he turns himself in he'd get a triaL AND He has 24 hours to come

so bronson gets his goons together and fills em in and they laugh at it being 1 guy

Riki-oh and Kenshiro were 1 guys

1 guy sez he can't go or hisd farm would be f'd but wont go after burt as he didnt ice anyone

wait, i think burns isnt bronson

burns wants to talk it out ABNS SENDS a guy

wait, burens IS bronson, i got mixed up

at a bar, 1 guy sez if burt was a cheap guns-l the people would like him

but that term originbaLLYT MEANT SODOMITE and was misused as gunman after the 40s maltese falcon calls peter lorre that to get his gayness past the censor as they thought it means his gun

so bronson is at some graves and a guy named crow like the a55 from yugioh 5Ds come by

bronson tells how his fam was iced by commanches

i think that broson isnt burns, i got it wrong

lee j cobb is bronson

wait, thats burns and bronson

albert salami is the guy i thought was bronson

so then its dday and bronsons booty boys are shooting frying pans and a guy comes in saying to book it and crow to go somewhere

back in town burt is told by thehotel guy that he needs the room for a guy who likes it more and burt goes to church

he sez hes not a believer (so hes a deniar?) and wwantrs the priest to give him names of those he hunts

priest sends him to a legaL GUY and burt goes there but legal guy wantss permission

burt opens the drawer With Out Consent and reads the map, then returns it

this is like a gAijin being in Japan

Bronsons homie i thought was bronsion is in town and confronts burt with crow by him

they draw and buert wastes him and tells crow not to make him ice him

so the guy is brought back on a wagon and buronson sees it

The Townspeople dont like this gov guy coming over and attacking em and wants to do something about him

bronson feels bad for that guy i thought was bronson getting iced and wants revenge on bronson

although that guy who got it started the fight

its like when a druggie trys beating a man dead and the man caps him and the news makes the man look bad

1 of bronsons men suggests not to be vengeful and buy the town to buy justice

so then the town goes to burt at a restaurant to deall with him and he's just casually eating

he tells the people they are the bad guys for not wanting the law and if they try to stop him he might ice em

this reminds me of that devolved guy from no country for old men who wcks all those people

later sherrif plays cards with a guy at a salloon and burt comes in

crow calls him out but burt dont wanna and walks up to him and walks off but a gun goes off

burt nealy kills him thinking its a trap[ but it was just as guy in the saloon  and burt and sherrif go over

the guy shoots through the door and burt and sherrif go in and beat him outside

burt tells crow next time he sees him he'd ice him

the guy is on the list ands sherrif has a drink with burt and tells his cr-ppy past of running away (Which is probably why he's alive)

burt tells of how violence cycles out and drags other in to avenge others and he never drew 1st on a man ever

burt don't know if bronson sent that guy but sherrif sez he's not that kinda guy

the guy burt caught is in jail but wants out or bronson will get him but he lets him out, then sez he'd cap him if he runs and puts him bacl

cropw sez he didn't know ofv caught guy and wants to face burt but sherrif sez he'd have no chance

like tony curtis vs spartacus?

so chicks butt buddy is gonna run and chick sez not to

they bicker for a bit and comments on her b0ning a lot of guys

he sez sorry butshe knows its true and he sez he cant go in alomne and the others wont go in

he goes off and she sez burt said he'd not be harmed

later crow meets burt and he he didnt know of the caught guy and is p-ssed that burt iced that guy

burt sez the guy started it and he dont care as he made his bed

they kinda grow closer and chat about who would ice who

burt sez crow is a cowman andf hes a lawman who kills fore a living

the townsfolk wanna wasteburt but sherrif stands up for him

later 2 guys on te list see burt and try to j fk him even though they can escape

they miss and burts horse gets it an burt counter attacks to take out 1 guys horse

burt executesd his horse anf stealds horses from a farm with a mexicany girl on it

meanwhile, the bronson guys brand cowsx and a guy talks to crow about how crow dont wanna ice burt

burt goews up the hill and catches butt buddy at gunpoint and takes his guns like hes australia

he arrests him and butt buddy sez he did nothing wrong and cant afford to be off from hids farm

burt thinks butt buddy is goinmg for a gun and caps him

bronson prays in church and later meets with guys to get ready to ytake on burt

butt buddy isnt dead and he brings him back as bronson has a servicew for burts victims

burt taKES HIM to chick who they get the bullet outta him and burt chains to a fence

chick sez how their farm is a55 and shes living in sin with him

at dinner burt tells chicxk of his droogs who got iced or f'd

wait, its not her butt buddy there.and wants a gun to sneak ice burt

she gets him 1 in a blanket but changes her mind and he sees her with the gun

she sez she was gona cuz he's a cold a55 now and asks him to sahow mercy but he refuses as he's like jack mccoy in law and order on crack

he dont think the rules should change for ciercumstancers

later they maske out and b0ne and sher sez she always loved him and wants her to go with her to be happy

he plays his flute and the net day burt unlocks shot guy and asks if thertes any land to buy here

they rde off and bropmson and friernds go off to sto burt w/o crow

so sherrif talks wuith guys about burt and burt comes in with shot guy

the wife oif a guy burt iced yells at him and thre people wanna take him out

doc sez shot guy needs to recover b4 travel and burt is gonna quit his hunt

but bribnson and his crew are coming for him to town

the men aare outside and burt xomes out but crowtrys to stop them

burt rides outta town and seez chick riding in and 2 guys shoot at him

he weastes em and sez theres been enuff killing but 1 guy still wabnts revengeance

bronson sez the guy is his son but son draws and burt wastes him

burt seez the real bbutt buddy running away and caps him as chick watches

bronson CANT TAKE IT AND EATS HIS GUN

wow, he destroyed the town

and he just rides out and leaves the people to rot

the end

da f was dat?!

the main character is the bad guy and wins

all it shows is the awfulness of violence and revenge

but its well made

Its got a dark gritty story but has a bright atmosphere with sunlight and blue skies

its kinda realistic with the rich guy being good and the lawman being cold

its not a generic "good guy beats the bad and gets the girl" story

its a dark refreshing twist and shows  how things probably really were

i felt a bit bad for the bronson and how burt ruined him and the town

its like shrek did to fairy tales with the iogre as the hero and the king as the badd guy

it holds up

its no john wayne, but its an interesting twist

For Lawman 2 I want the town to be devolved into a rotting slum of viuolence, drugs and cannibalism and the chick has become a bada55 fighter chick who has trained for years and goes out to take out burt to bring back in pieces and use them to ritual seacrifice to change history so he'd have not iced the good people in town and hisatory would be good. Also its an 8 bit Nes, Gameboy, Sega Master System, Game Gear, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 game where you play as the chick and go around America finding burt and each time you blow off a part and can use them to boost stats until you saccrifice him and his soul goes daemon asnd you gotta beat it to save history

Apache Review

 Note: I spell cow boy style

Apache

This is my review on Apache from the distant fiture year of 1954

its based on a book callles broncho apache by Paul Wellman and is directed by  Robert Aldrich who did Sodom and Gomorrah (1962)What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)4 for Texas (1963)Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)The Flight of the Phoenix (1965) and The Dirty Dozen (1967)

It starts Burn Lancaster, John McIntire from The Fox and the Hound, Charles Bronson, John Dehner from Cast A Long Shadow, Paul Guilfoyle from The North Star, Walter Sande from Cirizen Kane, Morris Ankrum from From the Earth to the Moon, Monte Blue from Birth Of A Nation, and some 1800s dudes i never saw in anything

i never saw this b4 but heartd its good

so its in color but widescreen

after opening credits to dramatic music, then text saying in 1886 after the fall of geronimo, there was the last apache wsarroir

some indians walk to a buncha cowboys but burt comes in and does a j fk to pick one off and a fight breaks out

he tells his woman he'd rather die than be enslasved by the gov and fights guys but is beat out and caught

the captor dont wanna kill him cuz he wants a warriors death and it would inspire his men to have an uprising

he's arrested and taken away and they are sent to florida where they are bummed about thewir old lifestyle ending like its the same as being dead

It this why Samurai did Seppuku?

when burt drinks, a girl gives him a knife but he throws it down when spotted

then we got a montage of the train moving across a map

a photographer gets a photo of geronimo and they cover the chains to keeep the people from knowing of it

they open a wndow and burt escapes when the flash powder goes off and breaks his chains on the train wheels

he steals corn and a hat from a scarecrow and montages around for a bit

latter hes in a night town and a cart with a fire on it runs through and people are spastic

hes a stranger in a strange land and dont fit in

he sees the advancements of 1800s America and is confuseed by em

a player piano? witchcraft!

A SMALL B--CXHY DOG SPAZZES AT HIM AND THE PEOPLE JOKE BUT HE DONT GEWT IT SO HE RUNS AND THEY FOLLOW

use your ninja powers!

This isn't naruto!

he jumps off a roof and esacapes into the darl

well, maybe he IS a Ninja

so he later goes on and is in a barn eating corn and a guy comes in

he beats him out but the guy is indian so hew dont finish him

burt dont like the guys house cuz its a White Man House (Racvist!!) bit this guy  sez its his

beat guy sez he's grown to live in peace with the Whites and burt is disgruntled by it

For him this must be like the people who saw humans being ok with Invid in Robotech

at night he trys to go out in the snow bit beat guy gives him seeds to grow

burt sez his kind are warriors not farmers but beat guy sez by adapting you can survive

burt goees out but comes back for the xseed and releaves

so he goes on and eats the dseedsand climbs a tall rock thing

he comes acrosss Americans overseeing people working on the road

Bronson is Hondo and works for the military like in FMA and  likes a chick

he gives her booze and her dad is glad hes a real man and gets the booze

then thery see burt in a tent and are surprised he got away from being shipped off

he hatews hondo and serz their people has no pride

thats a dog whistle

he wants his people to be like the cherokoo and grow corn enev if its womans work

so burt sleeps and is woker up  by being shackled at gunpoint

the gf's dad, the cheif, sold him out

then he goes and cuts the daughter loose as he tied her so she wouldnt save burt

so she goes to the army base and tellls em what burt said about the cherokee and corn

her dad's f'd opn liquor and she wants to have burt train them

the army guys talk about if they should let burt do it and they doont wanna

1 guy sez to send him on a train to Confederate Florida to be eaten by Florida Man

later the Americans have burt chained to a tree like hes b0ning it and 1 guy sez they should take the leg irons off his so he can walk

another sez to wipe em all out

laater they get to a place and let the indians out and take off the lerg irons and have em walk behind the carrt

1 runs and they j fk him but burt flips the cart and uses his gun to waste the other guy, then choaks him out

the guys he saved wanna help him but burt sez he has no friends and as his kind queered out,m he's doing a 1 man war like Arnold or Stallone

so the army comes by and burt jumps off the same rck from the start of the film and jacks a horse then cuts a telegraf line

so he causes havoc over the next few days like Mel Gibson in The Patriot and has gorilla war

1 guy comes back all f'd out as i guess he saw burt skinning the guys he was with

he goes in and hells the army it was burt and a sniper j fks him

if this wewre made today he'ds have a charge surgically implanted him him and after he told em, he'd blow apart into chunks

so a fire is started at the base and in the chaos control, burt frees the horses

cheif is bummed burt plugg is back and he sneaks outta the shadows like a ninja and captures daughter

later bronson hondo and the army track burt reynolds and the chick

then its day and burt and girl are on horse

he sends the horse off and sweps their tracks and has her stewp where he steps or he'd ice her

he rides her rough and ties her  up to a tree just so she can't reach the water and leaves

i thought they'd fall inn love

so he goes off and starts a fire in a wagion and it blows at night, then returns to the lake and frees her and lets her driink

they go off and eventually she tells him she never wanted to surrender and wanted him to be cheif and wanted to be iced when he was caught

but now he's full of hate and iss going to h-ll on his gee haaad

ssjhe sez to ice her if he wants but he slipped away like batman

so the Americans track her to where she is and they sneak around in case burt n cummings is there

burt comes back with a dead deer and she warns him and he takes 1 out and sends a horse to have them follow it

later they eat rabbit and he sez "its up to me do decide if its big or small" when she sez its small

so it identifies as big?

she goes on about how his anger is a gun and shes going with him

he beats her out with a stick and takes her shoes and goos oof

but shes stull crawling after him like a worm on her body

he hugs her and carrus her back and tends to her

they have a moment and grow closer talking about how women poop out kids

he goes on about how hes gonna kill everyone til they kill him (What a positive main character!) and they kiss

so brondo finds evidence they married and is gonna ice him to get her

meanwhile, burt young and chick play around in a g rated way as they canty have b0ning in a 50s movie

she still has the seeds and shes preggo with his kid

this seems kinda like spartacus

they hear a gunshot and its a deer hunter and they book it

he wants to send her back to the reservation for his kid to be safe

later they are in a cabin and its winter

he almost cauight a deer but it got away

he dont wanna stop fighting and wants his kid to be the last real apache after he gets iced

this is seeming like The Outlaw and His Wife by  Victor Seastrom

she wants a life with hium but he;s  too bitter and malcintent to be normal

huh, this wwas based on a true story, and the real guy went around b0ning and stealing and killing like a violence jacjk charcter or new york protester

so the army talks about letting burt and urnie go but 1 guy wants to keep trying

at da cabin, burt is gonna leave soon but chick sees the corn he threw out the window has started to grow

he dont wanna and later she digs a ground for planting corn she shoplifted from a store across the area

they make a plow and her's the ox a55 and they do the soil asnd plants da korn

later in a store the owner and a guy talk about how an indfian uprising is happening and when jhe hears shopkeeps seed korn gut jackedm, he sends word to his base

later back door burt is hunting deer without a license and sees troops comming

he races back to his cabin and his womans having issues

he sez the army will see the corn and hewsa not leaVING AS HES NOT A WARRIOR AND wont leave her

Then he gowsa rambo and has a gorilla fight with them while not wearing a shirt

he berserkly runs iun guins blazing, jumps em, fights em, runsd, gets capped, and hides in ther corn

they got him surrounded and 1 guy goes in the corn aND SNEAKS AROUND

burt leaves tracks and back tracks and when thre army guy goes in, he throws his gun and army guy shoots

he fights him and is gonna ice him but hears baby crys and hypnoticallyt walks out 

1 American sez he grew corn, the 1st for an apache, and now the wars over

burt walks back inside with a bullet in him

the end

that was pretty good

although the studio changed the ending where he bites it in the book

which is ironic as unuted artists was founded when D W Griffith and friends wanted to make their own films the studio wouldn't interfere with

like how He made Broken Blossoms and the studio head didn't like ho everyone dies in it

but this was well done

good msuic and action and style

good color and feel

good story and its a historical film

i like 1800s films and this was pretty good

burt did a good job being kinda Spartacus but less gay

For Apache 2 I want it to be the 1910s and ww1 is gonna happen and his son is considering joining the fight for americas but thinks the germans are being treated bad and his dad gets him to join the germans to fight the brits and frenchies by sendign them data from Brittish bases using his Apache ninja skills. Also its  an 8 bit Ninja game like Shinobi on Sega Master System and Game Gear, Nes and Gamer Boy, TG16, Arati 7800 and Lynx where you play as they son and get through levels fighting brits and genetic abominations made by their daemon worshiup experimentrs yto devolve the irish to be subservient to them

The Lost World Review

 note; i spell lost

the lost worldf

this is my rebirw on the lost world from, 1925

is based on as book by Arthur Conan Doyle anfd has effectsd done by ray harryhausens mentor willis obrien

its directed by Harry O. Hoyt who did the 27 The Return of Boston Blackie, which i assume is a race film

its gopt lewis stone from the 20s Prisoner of Zenda, Lloyd Hughes from the 30s Moby Dick, tthe evil wallace beery, Arthur Hoyt from the 20s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Virginia Brown Faire from The Temptress (Did I see that?), the kindhearted Bull Montana from Gay and Devilish (Sounds like a demon p0rn0), Jules Cowles from 2 versuions of The Scarlet Letter, Margaret McWade from Mr Deeds Goes To Town, Chrispin Martin from The Ix Bow Incident and The Gay Desperado, and some 1800s dudes i never heard of

this film helped makee King Kong possible which lead to Japan making Kaiju films after they did 30s Kong films befoire the war

I dssaw this b4 and liked it

so after creditswe get the london record joyrnal in soviet england

so professor challenger (like the space ship that blew in the 80s?) is suiong a guy over dinosaus beiing real

1 reporter wants to go on a dangerous mission but is a clutz and spills ink on sh-t and slips on some floor thing and lands in the office

the head guys want him toi interview the challenger even though reporters are not allowed

probably cuz the press is the bad guys

so he goes to the zoological thing and theres a skeleton of a long neck dino

a hunter is gonna check out challengers story and students are gonna mock him for saying dinosaurts still live

spoiler; in the congo is tales of the mokele mbembe which the locals say is a dinosaur

plus ancient drawing on walls in America show dinosaurs

plus the natives of America say thunderbirds ate large lizard creatures in the past

plus asian ittems fromn thousands of years ago showe dimnosaurs that are quite accurate to hat scientists say dinosaursa looked like

and ancient greeks said dinosaurs were the naturall enemies of elephants in india

look it up

tthe evidence is there

so in here its said the dinosaurs are from the amazon in soouth america

so reporter has a guy bring him in and at the meeting the group sez they cant support challengers claims, but will give him a chance to explaim bimself

nowadays they'd kick him out fir going against the grain

challenger goes up and dinks dare him to show proof

he counters saying he wuill if they coime with him to the jugnle and wants a committee to return to the lost wortld with him

1 60 year old accepts as he thinksd challenger is fuill of sh-t

the hunter comes too and so does reporter who flees when admitting hes a reporter b4 the nerds get him

chakllenger goes home and erporter, edward e malone (like edie e from final fight) sneaks in challengers place

he sez his gf wont marry him until he nearlky died and must go and challenger fights him in a grapplinmg battle as they roll around to the outside

a cop pulls him off aND edie e doont press charges

edie e sez hunter is his  homioe and challenger takes him in and hunter comes in too

challenmger shows him the diary and this chick ciomes in as every movie needs a woman

the diary is hers and her dad was some guy who dud siomething

oh she was with him and found a plateau with dinosaurs in it

the crew got freaked and booked it aand she and dad were left there

and thats why chalenger is trying to have a expidition there, to save him

then how'd sghe get out and baclk??

edie e sez the papper would help if its a rescue story and had the rights to it

challenger accepts and i think hunter is gaty for chick and going for her

so news gets out and the parrty goes to the jungle in rivers

nowadays they'd have a long part of the trip to the jungle from theire homeland

maybe a thing of them boarding the boat to cross the sea

they see weird animals like the sloth and they make it to the plateau

some bears get in the supply's  and are full grown midgets

theres an ape man lurking around in good make up

chick sez her dad made a bridge across a cvhasm with a tree

they plan to c.imb it the next day and rocks fall from sasquyatcxh creatures up therre

a pteranodon flies around, which were mentioned by the greeks in the past

the next day they chop down a tree and use it as a bridge and a long neck notices

they cross the tree and this ape demon watches

chick nearly faints but makes it across

the long neck lifts and throws a tree with its mouth and neck, which I don't think works

it eventually knocks off the log bridge and now they cant get back

why not cut another tree and move it there?

thertes trees right next to it!

so they campo for da knight and the ape yokai is lurking around

chivck thinkks if her dad was alive, he'd have seen the fire and come

2 2 legged dinos fight annd 1 wins

some triceratioops are around and run as the carnivore attacks but the fight kinda peeders out and he leaves

later the carnivore attacks the humans and bites a flaming log and gets shot at by hu mans

thebn it fights a horned duino and gets it

chumpus attracks and runs and another carnivore takes out the horned dino

its pretty cool

this is before scientists started sayuing dinosaurs were devolved birds

spoiler; evolution s non canon!

the carvivore also takes out a pteranodon

so later challenger screws with flexible trees and is gonna make a catepult wuith it to throw rocks at the dinos

huinter finds a LOCKEET with a pictuire of a girl in it in a cave

he fires his gun tio waste bullets and get peoples attention and some guys bring a rope ladder

theyt use a monnkey to bring it up and hunter sez to chick her dad might still be out there

edie e seems to be i love with chick and he thinks he'd never see his fiancee again

hunter comes in and sees them smooching

in a  berserk fury, he aims his riufle at them and blows their heads open with 1 shot each, then puts the gun in his mouth and blows the back of his skull open

jk, really hes  kinda bummed and they tell him a prpofessor used tio be a minister

he sends edie e out to get the proff and theres a good shot of them in the foreground and dinoes in the background

challenger and a dude go after it to observe it and hunter showes chick the lovket and she figgers its her dads and he's in h e double england

challenger and I THINK 60 year old watch carnivore fuight longnexck and longneck bites its throat but falls ofgff a cliff into water

imagine if it fell into riovcks and splattered like butters in the ep with marjorine of south park?

so apington is moving around and hours lsater the guys watching the dinoes aree not back

a volcano is spaazzing out and the dinoes run as the toxic smnoke gooes on

they made these hugfe monsters look small compared to the didsaster

so the forest burns and afterwards the  guys out there are heading fior the cave hunter and chivk is ion

the monkey climbs up with a rope an they climb down

\how'd they get up there in the 1st place?!

so a longneck in in the mud and looks wounded and i think its the omne that fell

the ape man pulls up the  rope ladder and a guy is still on it

1 guy caps the ape man not tarzan and he gets down

they see the busted long neck stuucck in the mud and tjheres a gfood shot of itrt in the foireground and the humans behind and above  to show  how huge it is

then a guy from the brazil geoderttic survey sees the smoke and comes by and sees the dinosaur in da mud

hunter i think offers to get it to soviet london alive

didnt this happen in king kong?

so xhallenger sends for men to dregde out the strream, make a steel cage and raft that can hold it, then whjen the rains come newxt month, they float it out

how will it stay alive for a month in the mud? will they feed it?

And where will the steel come from??

then its soviert london under the rule of the evil king and challenger gives a speech to the nerds about eddie e getting the monster from the ship

edie e calls and sez the cables broke at da dock and the monster got out and is having a Rampage 64 on the town

1st; this is where kaiju films got it from

2nd: If its cage breaks, howe diid it survive? the metal can hold it but its stronger than metal?

so it goes through the town as people spazz out and challenmger sez the thing got out and he must recapture it

how?! Its te size of a whale!

people think challenger is faking it and there is no dino And go nuts

outside the monster knocks people over with its tail and knockds over a statue like a malcontent protester

1 guy is nearlty stepped on but he shoots it and escapes

it busts a building and goes on a bridge and with a stomp, busts it and falls in the water

really good editing and effects to synchro it

in the cold water of soviet london, this jungle creaturte swims off perfectly fine

edie e and chick reunite and hunter looks on with feelings

it ends with challenger looking over the bridge as the monster escapes

the end

that was pretty good

nice silent b/w or sepia style fullscreen film

clean and wholesome with action and ADVENTURE

great effects, esp for the 20s and it started things that weere used in lATER FILMS

this inspired jurassic park, godzilla, king kong, gamera and ray harryhausen

this is actually the consensed cut and there's a restored cut thats almost an hour longer

this holds up and is a well made film

its a cool movie that isnt a mile a minute speed fest that don't give time to breath\e

Plus I hewwar Arthur Conan Doyle and his fam liked it

For The Lost World 2 I want it to be about the dinoi that escaped tearing up ireland and the people fight in vain against ther monster, its also a 32/64 bit survival horroree game on playstation, sega saturn, 3d0 and n64 where you go through the villages and try to escape irerland and evade the monster and malcontent irishmen. And for The Lost World 3 I want iut to be the 40s and ww2 didn't happen cuz this is a 20s movie and people have went to the jungle and wiped out most of the dino's and a team is hunting for the last one to save but 1 guy is trying to ice it so there wqill be no more hunts. that's a 32/64 bit 3d platform action game on sega saturn, playstation, 3d0 and n64 where you go through the jun gle levelsd and fight ape men who are offspruing of humans and demons from the past.

The Scarlet Pimpernel Review

Note: i spell better than the frenchies!

The Scarlet Pimpernel

This is my review on The Scarlet Pimpernel from 1934

Its based on a book that started super hero things like a seecret identioty and inspired real jheroes who saves people

its directed by harold young who did Without Regret, Woman Trap, My American Wife, Little Tough Guy, The Forgotten Woman, Bachelor Daddy, Swing It Soldier, Juke Box Jenny, Hi'ya, Chum, Machine Gun Mama, Jungle Captive and Roogie's Bump

These sound like p0rn0es

It stars Leslie Howard, Merke Oberon, Raymmond Massey, Nigel Bruce from sherlock holmes, Bramwell Fletcher from Svengali, Walter Rilla from The Adventures of Tartu, Mabel Terry-Lewis from Jamnacia Inn, O B Clarence from Pygmalion, Melville Cooper from he Adventures of Robin Hood, Gibb McLaughlin from The Private Life of Henry VIII, John Turnbull from the 39 steps, Derrick De Marney from Things To Come, Robert Rietti from Hannibal and a buncha 1800s dudes i never heard of

i saw this b4 and its  prtetty good

apparently alexander korda wanted charles laughten for the heroi but the people hated the idea and he hired the gokne with the wind dude

kinda like with michael keaton an batman

so after a silent style title asnd credits we get text saying its so its the distant future year of 1792 in soviet london

guards are training as back then, cops could have guns (which is why you call the cops)

these briitmo's talk about how the evil french are executing their own kind like its a 3rd world of socialist country

the evil robbespierre had guillotined a bincha youung girls (and probably b0ned em 1st)

then we see the frenchies guillotining people as the crowd cheers

i knew the french were evil!

some frenchies with brit asccents talk about the scarlet pimpernel;l saving innocnet frenchies and no one knows who he is

at a  checkpointthe guards catch a guy claiming to be a farmer aand are gonna execute him

the rebpublic of sovciet  frence is executing the rich for thinking theuy wronged them

kinda  like in 40s axis, 1910s ussr, or what the commies mean when they say when they want the "rich" to "pay their fair share"

in the dungeonthis guard reads names of those who's gonna get chopped

at the guillotoine squarea guy says good thingsd about the king of france and the mob chases him

kinda like how if you like the condfederates you are seen as evil

then this driver carrys the cart away and gets to the checkpoint

she says her grandson is in the cart and has the plague and offers tgo let them see and they  fear germs so they shun her and let her through

kinda like with aids of the 2020 plague

after a bit the frenchies come for the hag and say they wanted her as the cart has rich people in it, and the hag weas the scarlet pimpernell!

so the hag gets the people to another cart and the frenchies chase after like its birth of a nation

then ttheyt swap riddes again and hag was just leslie creossdressing like lancer in robotech

leslie sends one of his men back to fuind out sabout their enemy citizen show vlan

show vlan meets a guy and says as thepimpernel and his droogs speak perfect french, they were trained by the best and he has a list to zero in on

oh show vlan is the ambassator to soviert england and he's talking to the evil Robespierre 

later the frenchies saved honor the evil king george 3 as they aint american

they see a thing of a pimpernell and its the code nasme for the hero

latter this girl is chewing something and this guy trues to de french her by making her not move her hands like some italiano wqhen she taslks

seinfeld: waving his hands like some gay french king

shows leonardo decapprio in the man in the iron mask

Seiinfeld; but you can;'t say that now cuz some gay french king gets offended

Sghowsa leonardo spazzing out

leslie sez to be sharp and fake being male bimboes to hide their identity

like in dbz how they hide theior power levels

so leslie goes ourt acting kinda inbred, and even uses a different voice like 80s batman, and writes a cr-ppy poem about the pimpernell

imagine a modern day scarlert pimpernell where its a chick faking being a ditzy bimbo but is really a bada55 ninja who saves people?

a chick comes on to him and i think its his wife, yeah it is, and shes a frenchie and dont like him being a himbo

so these spies try to use a plan to get someone

and freench wife isn't fond of lewsliefor being a wiener and  wants to ditch him for another dude

If the scarlet pimpernel was made today, trhey could say his sudden change in act is from getting a flo shot and getting devolved

also the frtench wife preeviouisly said things that got people executed

so at a get together is leslie acting like a bimbo and knowing fashion

after the other guys leave the leslie pimpermnbel chats with his droogs about the show vlan or w/e

laterfrench wife is talking with this guy, i think the bad guy, and 1 dont wanna help the other by giving screrts

he sez her brother was arrested for being a traitor and if she gives him the identity of the pimpernell, he'd be spasred

then leslie comes in and bad guy is revealed to be show blan

he takes shots at freench breing a cr-ppy lsanguage and bimbos out

sjhow vlan leaves and she asks about this guy she thinks might be the pimpernel

she can't take his being a bimbo and says "you were a masn once" which makes me think he accidentally pulled off his parts from idiocy

I'm surprised they never made a blaxploitation movie called rthe scarlet p-mp, wher this guy saves h--kers from being butt slaves

so threy go to a party and leslie is a bimbo abain, whgich i din't recall so many of these scenes, annd leslie tellsa a guy he'd be in the library at midknight

the prince of whales ids there, i;'m guessing from atlantis, and show vlan os too

1 chiuck asks the pribcxe to save her husnbasnd but he se he can't govern other countries

well, i meanb, not ones they havent taken over

so later his french wife is kinda spaszzed but might be faking it aand wait, its not the wife

sher has leslie burn something and wait, i think it is the wife as show vlan comes by and wants info from her

so show vclasn finfs tyhe pimpernell will be in ther livbrary at midknight and goers there but its jusrt that bimbo leslei howard sleeping

he waits and leslie isd faking sleeping and 20 mins later, show vlan fell asl;eep

at 1 am he wakes uip and finds a card from the scartlert pimpernell

and the only one there is that bimbo leslie and hes sleeping so it cant be him

pluis he slept through a clock chiming so the p-mp didnt wake him up

later they go home and leslie has a ring with a hidden stamp for his logo

late his frenchioe wife comesx by and tells lesloie her brother got caught and she comes clean abouyt show vlan

leslie asks why she sent that fam to the guillotobne and shecse its cuz she loved the guys son but guy wouldnt allow it and wouldve sent er to some bad black, but the malcontent uprisings happened and freed her

shje admits she tried to get the scarlet p-mpn arrested and show blan said s p didnt show

leslie sez shes in love wit s p and he may be maried and in love with his wife

she dont think a married maN WOULD FACE DANGER LIKE THAT AND he goes off on a businbess trip

later frenchie wife sees a picture of leslie with a pimperlnes ring logo and figgersd out its him

she gioes to save him but gets a letter from show vlan saying he foundf the s p identity

so she rushes over to one of s p's homies and sez hes in danger from her letting show lan know of it

so later in soviet france the bad guys say if they dont catch s p , they gonna get the blade

although king henry 8 took out his women with heads off, so the french are not that different

the frneshies are str-p searching thed people, esp the women, like its a go nagai manga to make sure no one is the s p

but leslie is dressed like a frenchie soldier and hides with em

also they talk of fighing soviet england

1 frenshie sez the s p is doing something about england and to meet him at 10 at this place

wow the moviers almost over

its 95 wins with adds already?!

this movi whizzed byu

totally didnt feel like it

so chick wife frenshies goes to the place and asnd gives a hanfd signal to come in

so show vlan comex by and arrests a guy  for helping the guys the gov sez is bad, andhe's gonna execute him for it if he dont help him

he sez what signal to give with a window candle and frenchie wife is gibving the dangerr signal

so he gives the a ok sugnal and sez how hes amazed that bimbvo is th hero

he arranges for a firing squd and later its 10

show vlan fakes bweing a quaker or som,ething abnd covers his fave with his hat

les;lie xccomes in and knows itv show vln and is confident hes got this

show vlan sezhe only raise his voicew and hiosmen will get him

leslietows with several possible escapes like a hidden soldfier in the clock or a wine barrel of gun powder

then a guy comes out with a gun and makes showe vlan givve up the password

leslie sez now frenche wifes bother is safe and sends guinman out

show vlan sez he has leslies wife  and if he gets firing squadded, she can go free

leslie agrees and she comes down and they kiss and she wants to die with him

she blacks out and is carried off to the ship to soviet en gland

lesl.ie sez a stylish poem and is taken out andthe firing squad fires

show vlanb listens but dont watchn and smiles as he'd evil

then lislie comes in and gets his hat

he reveals he had the firiung squad and men taken hout and replaced with his own

they put him in the celler and put a bsasrrel over it and they go off on a boat to soviet england

eslie sez as he didnt bite it, then show vlan didnt set her free

then they go to england

the end

that was ghreat

i thought thwere'd be more rescuing of frenchies but most of it was leslie howeard being a male bimbo

its a classy film with good style and feel

nice aCTING AND ITS IN PROBER FULL screen and is nice smokey b/w

its got good flow and goes by at a good pace andnever drags

its likd by Stan Lee and the 20s/30s comic writers

its a rwarning of the dangeres of malcontent uprisings and has inspired good people to save the innocent

leslie is charming and does a great performance as the scarlet pimpernell and his male bimbo human forme

its only like 95 mins and dont fgeel like it

i loved this one. its a good 30s classic

For The Scarlet Pimpernel 2 I want the french to have gotten worxe and have declared war on england, but many englishmen suppport the devient frenchies and help them take over, So by 1805, England is a burned out wwasteland and people survive in the ruins of the cities, The Scarlet Pimpeernel has made a pact with Portugal to tru to get the innocent outta england but there's cannibals and devients roasming the area, and he and hgis crew gotta fight em off. Its also a 16 bit Hack and Slash game like Golden Axe on Sega Genesis, Snes, GBA, TG16 and Atari Jaaguar with up to 4 players, each being the Scarlet Pimpernel or one of his homies, and battling lusty canniobals in the ruins of england

Game Reviews Volume 15 From 2021 Part II

More reviews of games I played and often beat from the 2nd half of 2021

Some were pretty tough but I kept at it til I got it

Just beat Prehistorik Man on my 28 in 1 GBA Repro Cart. Its a Snes Platformer from the mid 90s brought to GBA in 01. You play as a Cave Man and gotta get to the bone yard to get bones to use as money as your villages food was swiped. A is jump, B is attack, R is a rechargeable Shout like in DBGT that nukes the field and holding L lets you look with the D Pad. Its got 16 Continues and a Password system using numbers and letters that brings you back with all Continues. If you bite it you return to a checkpoint but using a Continue sends you back to the level start. Its jumps are kinda loose and you hold Up and Left/Right to go faster to get more jump. Some levels give you a ranged attack like throwing a Spear. Each level has a goal like get to the end or do some mission and get to the end and some have gimmicks like a glider, a pogo stick (Which I hate) and a Unicycle (Which is the worst as you gotta jump at the right edge of the ramp or you fall into the goo). If you take out an enemy it drops bones but if it hit you 1st, it drops small hearts to collect to heal. In the Ice Level its hard to tell what's background and what can be walked on. It starts out good with nice music and graphics but kinda devolves after a while. You get Passwords by buying them in the shop and its hard to read on a dinky screen so just look em up online. There's only a few bosses and they ain't too bad. You can take a few hits and only being hit when outta hearts wastes you. Over all its not horrible but gets pretty tough after a while and will enanger you. Glad I played it but I don;t plan on doing it again. It does have personality and good writing and characters though.

Just beat Super Monkey Ball 2 on GameCube. What an ordeal! You get infinite tries to get through 100 levels and it saves . Its got good New Millennium graphics and nice music but the gameplay is awful! You only move with the A Stick and you got weird momentum to screw you up. Plus angles of levels that make it you go ways you don't wanna. I used a guide to get through this and even with it, it was rough! i spend over an hour on some levels. Plus the camera is awful! Its always behind you with no way to change it, but when you move, it moves, so if you fall and bump around, you can';t see where to go and often fall off or get the try wrecked! This game really made me mad and I never wanna play it again. Most of the levels ain't even so bad, but those ones that are ruin the whole game. It can be beat but takes hours and ain't worth it. I liked a few of these and some levels can be beat in a few seconds but some are a blight. You get 60 seconds and a few options like view map or restart but its not much good at times. Plus the map in the corner of the screen is useless! Its either too close, or too far and there's only 3 viewpoints to see on it, changed with A. There's a multiplayer mode and party games but I never tried those. I'm glad to be done with it. On our GameCube Memory Card is a file that made it to Level 8 but was stuck on 1 level, so I guess I surpassed my brother in this.

Just beat Michael Jackson's Moonwalker on my 218 Genesis Games in 1 Repro Cart. Its based on the movie or w/e from the 80s or 90s and in here you save Bonnie from Pokemon XYZ  from this bad guy over and over again. you play as Michael Jackson and gotta find all the kids b4 Bubbles shows you the way to the "Boss" which is just you fighting a bunch of the same guys over until its over. You gotta find the kids in hidden areas by pressing Up on the D Pad fin front of anything that can open. some parts I didn't know you could do it and had to look it up after wandering around. I don't know how many continues you get as I only bit it once on the final level and was playing it on Easy. A is Magic which is used to spin and open areas and do stuff, B is attack with a kick or punch of glitter, and C is Jump. If you kick and hold it then press back you can moonwalk and it moves faster than walking and ignores treadmills. The game isn't too hard and just takes some trial and error to get through. If you catch a shooting star you digivolve into a veritech and fire off missiles and lasers. The final level is a 1st person space flight battle and can be tricky. If you use Magic it uses up Life but finding kids heals you. Overall its not bad and has nice music and graphics. The voice clips are well done for its time and its a decent playthrough if you have a guide to tell you the hidden areas are. Glad I played this.

Just beat Dr. Mario on my 108 Game Boy games Multicart. Its a decent puzzle game where you use pills to get rid of viruses by linking 3 or more of the same color to em in a line or column. No Diagonals here and no Squares, just straight lines. There are 3 colors: dark, red and yellow  and pills are any combination of 2 of the same or different color. You choose what level outta 20 to play and  beating it on level 20 gets a cutscene and then redoes the last level but called 21 and on. 1 button flips the pills 1 direction and 1 flips em the other. If you pause it don't let you see the field so you can't cheat and you get unlimited tries. You clear each level by getting rid of all the virus's. It speeds up after a while even if you set the speed on low and you can choose your music from 2 options or none. Its a pretty good game and the pieces stand out so you don't mix em up. Glad I played it. Its a pretty decent game

Just beat Shadow of the Beast on Sega Genesis. Its a Dark Fantasy side scroller where you play a guy enslaved and devolved into a monster and gotta be cured. You get 1 life with a max hits of 12 and no Continues, level select,. passwords or saves. But if you play it, bite it, get to a high score, put your name as zqx, and press ABC and Start on the BEAST screen, you get immortality and when you run outta hits, the life count just cycles back to full. Boom! I just went from Shadow of the Beast to Jushin Liger! I'm like Garlic Jr now! So A and C is jump and B is attack. You can do a jump kick but the controls are kinda still and you can't move in the air (Its like NES Castlevania). You gotta go through these dungeons and castles and caves  and a wasteland and fight these 80s/90s monsters like in The Dark Crystal or something and its got a nice feel and look to it. Its got sorta European feels ands has good music. Its not bad and is pretty imaginative in designs but you gotta play it with the Immorality code unless you wanna replay the game over and over. Also you gotta get items like keys to access other areas and if you don't get the Gold Key in the 1st level, you can't get past the 2nd level after beating the 3 headed dragon and can't go back so you gotta reboot. The game can be beat in like 20 mins on a good run but its pretty unforgiving without the code. Glad I played it though. Its cool, creative, dark but not deviant and has some cool ideas. Yeah the controls could be better but this is more of an Atmosphere game where the feel and style us the main draw

Just beat Battleship on GBC. Its an adaptation of the Board Game and lasts 48 rounds. You get infinite tries and have a 6 letter  password system to continue where you left off. You place your boats on the grid and take turns firing at the foes board to find their ships. But as the game goes on, you level up and get more boats. Also you unlock stronger attacks that are limited in use and if the boat that holds that attack bites it, you can't use it that round. The computer seems to cheat as EVERY time they used a Sonar  or a multi square attack it ALWAYS hit me after wiggling around the screen for a while. Also they seem to have more power shots than I do. The worst ship to deal with is the Sub as  its only 1 square and you never know where it is and can't get close and hit a nearby square to zone in on it. Over all its a good game and adds some good twists to the Battleship formula. Each level has a boarder around the Missile Launch scene with designs on it that change and when you launch multiple shots, if 2 hit 2 different ships, the cut scene shows the ship moving to a different one so you know its a different ship. Good graphics and music and even though the Start Menu is moved by select and start, its worth the 5$ i spent on it. Glad I played it. Some parts are tough but keep trying til you get good or lucky.

Just beat True Lies on my 218 Genesis Games in 1 Multicart. Its based off the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie from 199X and is pretty tough. You get a few lives and I don't think you get any Continues as after failing 1 mission and running outta guys once I was back to the title screen. Thankfully there's codes you can use for goodies like more ammo, infinite lives, level select, and a password for each level among other things. If you bite it you get some Castlevania 2 text saying how many guys you got left and you get back up. Its a top down run n gun game kinda like the bad levels in Super C but as its on Genesis you have more buttons. 1 button is change weapons, 1 is fire and 1 you gold to lock your direction and move. You gave limited ammo but the basic pea shooter reloads after 15 shots.  I never saw the movie but saw clips and reviews and it was cool so I get a few of these scenes. Its not Resident Evil controls so pressing left makes you move left. sometimes aiming is tricky if you and the baddies are moving around and  there's some timing between some shots you use. A lot of the game is running around and solving puzzles like finding Keys and unlocking doors. The baddz you ice stay dead and if you don't know where to go in this huge mapless levels, just wander around til you find some guys you didn't wack. There's hidden areas and extra guys you can get and 1 level in a jet but overall its pretty decent, if you use a code, otherwise this game is brutal!. Nice graphics and music and it controls sorta well but can be a bit off at times. I kept thinking A is fire when I set it to B but you can change the controls on the menu(but only to 1 of 4 premade choices). Its a decent game and one of the better ones by Acclaim. Glad I played it.

Just played The Last Action Hero on my 218 Sea Genesis Games in 1 Multicart, Its awful. No options, Cant change the controls or difficulty, A is kick, B is punch (which you don't need as you kick stronger and further) and C is jump (Which makes the hop from A and C annoying). You get 4 lives (More like 5 as 0 counts as a life) and no continues. Bad guys take usually 2 kicks and if you don't time it right, there's a double hit where you and him nail each other at the same time. Decent Graphics and not bad music but the gameplay is  pretty bad. There is a Level Skip and Invincibility Code where you stand in the right place, then hold B C and Up for 30 seconds, then Pause and press Up for Invincibility or Down to skip the current level. But it only lasts 1 round and you gotta do it again in the next one. Plus Invincibility don't work in the driving levels so you gotta go from start to end in 1 life with a lot of 1 hit kills in it. You have no attacks and take out baddies by ramming your car into em, but you sometimes take damage from it! Its like a worse Comix Zone! If you hit a ramp you jump and can waste an enemy car by landing on it, but if you land on a Truck it ends you, as does plowing into the Trucks and parked cars. The end of the level is a wall of Trunks you gotta jump over but you gotta do the level fast or the Trucks moved beyond the ramp and you die, but some parts have a minefield of parked cars and cars slamming into you to knock you into their path. Thats as far as I made it, even with a Level Skip code to skip the parts I already beat. This game is unplayable! Sony fails again!

Just beat Iron Man 2 on DS. Its by Sega and Griptonite and is sorta based on the Disney movie I never saw. Its a 2.5D action game where you do missions that last a few mins and fight bosses. Some are Shmup levels where you fly and blast skybots. You gotta beat each area with Iron Man and War Machine and both play different. Iron Man you use the D pan to move and B is Jump or boost Jets, Y is punch, A is blast and X is power blast. Holding L/R does stuff but I hardly used it. War Machine plays by using the D Pad or YXBA buttons like a D Pad and the Touch screen to attack. He moves slower but is tougher and you Tap on the Touch Screen where you wanna fire. He takes some getting used to but isn't too bad after a bit. You got a save file and can buy upgrades with points you get from doing missions. You can find Comic Book Covers and Concept Art of enemies around the levels for bonus fun. Iron Man controls pretty well but with War Machine you punch when close and fire when the enemy is far automatically, so if you wanna fire on a guy and there's a guy in from of you, you're punching. If you run outta power, you get a mini game  to line up bots on a wheel and if you do it in the time limit, you get back up at full power and continue. You can do this like 3 X and if you fall again, you go back to the base to reselect the mission or but upgrades. Its not bad once you get used to it and is pretty forgiving at times. I had a good time and it can be beat in a few hours so its not a time eater. Glad I got this. Its worth the few $ I spent.

Just beat The Last Action Hero on my 218 Sega Genesis Games In 1 Multicart. Its a kind of Platform Beat Em Up based on the Awesome Arnold Schwarzenegger Movie from da 90z. You got 4 lives and no Continues to beat under 10 levels with 2 driving levels. A is kick, B is punch(Which is useless as kick is better in reach and damage) and C is jump. You got a few bosses and go across a few jump but most of thjis game is just walking left/right and kicking guys. Decent graphics and nice music and it controls sorta good. Its too hard though and is pretty unfair, Unless you use a trick where you hold Up B and C for 30 seconds, then pause and press Up to become invincible or Down to skip the level. Then as Garlic Jr this game is easy. Except for the driving levels where Invincibility don't work (but Level Skip does) and you gotta go through a minefield of drunk and drugged drivers. In the 1st Driving level there's Trucks that kill you in 1 hit and ramps you gotta hit right or you drive on 2 wheels. Also are parked cars that kill you in 1  hit. At the end is a wall of trucks you gotta jump over, but you gotta earn the jump by touching 3 pierces of paper on the road. And that only earns you 1 jump so you gotta collect more. Also A is jump, B is brake and C is speed up. The 2nd car level is much better but has weird night colors that make it hard to see and the drivers are on drugs and spazzing all over the road. No `1 hit kills though. Its not the worst game, but to make it playable use the level skip to return to where you game overed, and use Immortality to  deal with all the cheap hits. Oh and you gotta reapply Immortality each level and if you fall too far you gotta turn it on again. But some times you only gotta hold the buttons to code for a few secs. Glad I beat this.

Just beat Justice League: Injustice for All on GBA. Its a DC Comics game by Midway before DC Vs Mortal Kombat and Injustice. You do around a dozen missions to stop Lex Luthor and his homies using teamed up pairings of Justice League guys. You switch with Select, L is super power that's different for each guy, R is turning Fly on and off for Flyers, A is Jump and B is Attack. You can do a charge attack with holding B and letting out but can't move while doing it. You gotta solve minor puzzles like getting key cards and busting generators and pressing up on teleport pads til you get to a boss and wail on em. If 1 Hero falls, the other takes over and can be recovered by a power up. You get a few lives that increase finding a Gold Shield and by collecting 100 Blue Things. You got a save file system and can do each batch of missions as you unlock em until you get to the  final mission. Often Attrition works against bosses as you got 2 heroes and its 1 boss, but sometimes you gotta hit and run or use ranged attacks. The game is pretty simple but some parts like knowing a thing on the wall is a door can be tricky with the graphics. Its not too long and each mission takes a few mins and you got unlimited continues but using 1 makes you restart the whole mission instead of resummoning in the area you bit it. The super power meter automatically refills when not in use and  while there are a few 1 hit kill spots, its not awful. Its a decent 32 bit Hero Game. Glad I played this. Its worth a try.

Just beat Super Bombliss AKA Tetris Blast on my 108 GB Games in 1 Multicart. Its like Tetris where you use pieces falling to male rows and they vanish but there's mines in here that you gotta use to clear the bricks. If a row don't got enough mines in it, then only the part with the mines will blow, and if there's none, it won't blow til  a line by it blows. Also if 4 mines link together in a Square it formes a nuke that when the line its on is cleared, it takes out the area. Also if you clear 2 or more rows , the mines it it go nucular take out nearby bricks, and mines hit by those go off too in a chain reaction. The goal is to clear the screen and when it gets near the bottom you get more mine pieces. Also you can get pieces that are only 2 or 3 bricks instead of always 4 like Tetris. You get 100 bricks per level and it speeds to to beat each and there's passwords and unlimited continues, but the passwords I looked up didn't work. There's 25 levels  and  credits, but you get a password that loads after the credits to get the other 25 levels. Then a password to start over but maybe harder. When you pause it don't block over the screen and you can see what to do and A and B rotate the blocks. Its a petty good and worth trying. Good way to reinvent a classic and gets kinda tricky after a while but is beatable. Oh and clearing a row has unlinked blocks fall to other levels and can do chain reactions. But you don't see what bricks are connected and don't know until; it falls, which can be a nice surprise. This one's pretty good.

Just beat Rolling Thunder 2 on my 218 Sega Genesis games in 128 Multicart. Its a side scrolling Run N Gun like Thunder Fox. You play as a guy or a girl who Jumps with C and Shoots with A. Its based on an Arcade Game and you get 40 lives but no Continues, but there's a Password made of words put together to make a Madlibs thing. You jump to higher or lower Areas by holding up or down and jumping. If you hold up and jump with no area above to jump to you do a high jump. You got limited Ammo but when you run out you fire 1 shot at a time slow. You go in doors to get power ups like more life and more bullets and  stronger weapons that have their own ammo. You have 2 hit points and can get more in doors and some guys kill you in 1 shot. Its pretty tough and the later levels had me burning through extra guys. There's Checkpoints but if you run outta guys you gotta use a password (which the game holds after you bite it so you don't gotta repunch it in) you restart the level. There's quite a few cheap his and the final boss can kill you if you touch him in his burning animation that changes formes. Its a hard game but it kinda balances out with a lot of lives and a good Password System. Also you get an extra ending of a still image if you go through on a 2nd run, but if you bite it, you gotta go bask to the 1st runs final level to get to it. No extra bosses like Ghouls N Ghosts. Pretty good graphics and the music is good . It usually controls well but I had a few screw ups. Glad I played it, but its quite the Challenge.

Just beat Dynamite Headdy on my 100 Master System Games in 1 GBA Repro Cart. Its a simple Platformer that's toned down from the Genesis Game. Its by Treasure and has nice colored graphics and music. 1 button is jump and 1 is attack and Start Pauses. Its 6 levels that each have  a few acts to it and a few bosses. It plays well but you gotta Earn Continues somehow as the game goes on. I assume its like Comix Zone how you get Continues by beating enough Levels. It can be beat in like half an hour but has some tricky parts. I found myself pausing and unpausing the game to get the edge. The last 2 levels ain't so bad if you know what to do and  there are some safe zones  if you jump right. There's secret bonus points to get but that's just score.  The toughest parts were the tower and its boss and the guy who curls up and bounces around but you cal loop him by standing near the middle and hamming attack when he comes out. You get the heads of P{ig, Hammer, Sleep, and Fast and that's it. Its a decent game and if you keep trying you can eventually figure out what to do, or just watch a longplay and learn from that. Glad I played it. Its a nice condensed version of the Genesis game and not as rough. Oh and your life isn't refilled after beating a level so be careful.

Just beat Eternal Champions on Sega Genesis. Its a Street Fighter clone but has the Story and characters well planned out. You play as 1 of 9 people who were saved b4 they got it from across time and winner gets a second chance at life. You fight the 8 other characters, they a game boss who has 5 formes, each with a full life bar, but you only get 1/3rd back after each win. You get unlimited continues but losing a best of 3 fight means you get sent back 2 fights to work your way up. And on the boss you only get 2 shots and  losing on ANY forme restarts the battle. Its pretty tough so you gotta master not only your character, but how to beat each of the other guys. I used the Blonde Acrobat Jetta Maxx (Which sounds like a XXX Star Name) and often used the diagonal Up + Z move to Sky Dive into em. If you can get the guy in a loop by timing it, it can help. 3 Buttons punch and 3 kick, each light mid and hard levels and moving the D Pad left/right or up/down access's super moves. But there's limited Ki to use it with and Taunting drains it. The CPU can use Ki Moves w/o Ki so don't waste your time in the 1P game. God Graphics and big sprites, but the Life Bar is Red on Black so it can be hard to see at times. Nice Music and it controls pretty well. If you can master it, its worth a try. But you gotta train. There's also a training and tournament mode to get used to the moves. Glad I did this one. Better than Virtua Fighter. Oh and there's level finishing moves where you have the opponent at low enough life and finish them with enough damage in a certain spot on the level. Its pretty PG13 but not as splattery as the Sega CD ones. But these are tough to pull off and don't change the gameplay other than looking cool.

Things To Come Review

 note; i spell the fyuuutre

things to  come

this is my review of things to come from the disatant future year of 1936

its by h g wells who did the time machine and the inviusible man, and preoduced by alexander korda whos usually goods

its directed by William Cameron Menzies who did nothing I've seen and stars raymond masssey from The Scarlet Pimpernel, Santa Fe Trail and the old dark house, Edward Chapman from Oscar Wilde, ralf richaersdson from the four feathers and anna karenina, Cedric Hardwicke from Around the World in 80 Days, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Rope, The Winslow Boy , Derrick De Marney from the scarlet pumpernel, Charles Carson from adventures of tartu, Patrick Barr from the hammer dracula, John Clements from da 4 featherz,  Allan Jeayes from the scarlet mpimernell and a few 1800s guysi never saw

it was made bt wells as he hated the Fritz Lang masterpiece Metropolis and this moviue inspired 2001 a space odyssey (Which was a55)

i never saw this b4 but heard it got a lot right about what happened in the fiuture

i think this made the naqrnia guy make a cvharacter in his merlin book based on welles cuz of his bad views in here or somewthing

so after credits it the future year f 1940 in the city of everytown at chrtistmasd

oh and itys fullscreen and in good b/w

war is comming and its showeing a long dialogue less montage of people happy at xmas n4 waR LIKE A SILENT FILM

DIE CAPS LOCK

u c-ck sucker

2 guys talk of tyhe comming war and how its gonna f em but 1 new guy sez it mighty be good

kids enjoy toys and a grezer sez his toys were simpler when he was a kid

ewait til the 80s with transformers

the guys talk about hjow if they dont end war, it'll end them

after church at night theres a mobilization and the enemy attacked soviet england

they dont know its nationality and england got f'd by tyher sneak attack

totally not like Poland being suckerpunched by Zee Axis

will ferrel in the producers; i havent felt this good since we crushed Poland

so war happens and people scramble and the gov terlls people to stay inside and they run aound like its a Kaiju movie

this couple worries about the future and theirt kids

the guy is strong and the wo man is worried? thats not allowed today! femionists might chimp out!@

1 kid drersses like a solfdier and his dad goes off ands theres plants like hitler's face in the background

battle is conducted and cannons fire at the skies and buyyilding get blown with effects that are pretty cool

the city is f'd and a lot of people got it, even a kid

then stock footage of war vehicles moving and sdolfiers and battles

an armada of planes flyu over the city and later we get aerial combat and a plane goies down

1 guy lands and saves the down pilot and thery talk about why they gotta fight like its guinmdam seed

they puty on gas masks but a little girl comes by and the down pilot gives her his mask and bites it

then itys september 21 1956 and the war is almost over

theres a plague ghoing around called the wandering sickness and i think it makes people spazz out

in the vioklence jack ruins of everytown, this dr and his woman try to save people who wander out to bite it

and these spazzy zombie liker peoplelumber around until people cap em

is this a thing on the spanish flu?

1 chick in bed is spaced out and later walks around like a spazz and gets capped

later its the distant futurte year of 1967 and ther plague wiped out like half the human race but isd over now

1 guy whines thast flying is over and civilization is dead

didn't stop Noah and his fam after the flood

1 guy gives this guy a car and this chick says she thinks she heard an aero plane but her bf sez its over

they've seemed to go back to 1800s times

then soldoers come in and 1 guyhas a fur coat and army gear like itys mad max and sez he;z gonna end the war

he also sez he has a plane and petrol

then they see a plane flying in the sky and iyt lands with a sci fi guy comming out wanting to know whos in chsarge

1  guy arrests him as the country is in a state of war and guy who said flying is over remembers him from his childhood

so plane guy meets the leader about his group Wings over The worldf and trying to restore order and end war

the leader sez hes under arrest and flyer sez the group has banned pribate owqning of plsnes(commie!@!@)

and if he don''t return, more will comer for him

and when told the town is an indepoendent soverighn state, he sez his groiup dont approve of that and will fight them

just looked it up and In C. S. Lewis's novel That Hideous Strength the character Jules is a caricature of Wells

leader is basghed by his woman over going against flyer but he dont care

then more battles of ww1 looking footage

so the army mad max guy gives a speech about winning and later wants this dr to makje weapoomns but he dont consentr

cuz leader is the head of gov, he  orders the common man around like its soviet england being subserrviant to the regent

guy who sed flying wont bwork stands up for dr and later, the leaderhas a big dinner like a viking and talks about cr-p

leaders woman goes to see flyer and sez she wants more than being a big fish in a small pond

leader comes down and flyer sez his guys are comming

leader gloasts how  flyer cant dop sh-t and later flyer is working on a plane and takllking to the guy who sez planes were ovcer

later the plane flys and the group that sent flyer gets together to send a rescue group

later leader wjhines about world wide communicatuion and how his lane thing might backfire

then a huge a545 plane is boarded by the group  and later leader gives a speech for his men who take off in plabnes

the enemy might have gas and the leaders masks are rotted and no gopod and hisd science guy dont know gas

then this big a55 SCI FI PLANE COMES OVER ANDI THINK THIS IS WHAT STAR WARS ROPPED OFF

i think theres sevewral of ewm and the leaders planes attack

the big planers drop gas things and takes out the guys on the ground

leader chimps out and fires his gun b4 biting it

then the big planes drop parachuters who go in aandsave their flyer guy called cabel like the guy fromn robotech ii the sentinels

leader and his  goons are iced andf wait, the gas was knock out gas buit leader is  still ivced\

the group sez they are gonna put the world in order

then a montage of rebuilding the world, kinda like with neo domino ciuty in yugioh 5Ds after the ioncident

theres drilling in the ground with huge machines and huige generators and sci fiu judsge dredd 90s suits

man this goesd on for a while

then its 2036, a decade after metyropilis and well into the 3rtd robotech war, and they live in thisutopia

ut 1 guy whines that things were better years ago and thiongs are advancing too fasty

man he goes on for a while

and they live in undderground cities like at da poles with the demons

wtf theres elevators and big open areas

its like a mall!

a geezer tells kids about the past and shes amazed

also they dont have disease anyomre sdomehow

also therres a space gun powered by electricity that sends people to the moon

geezer met cabell before

so some ghuys talk on wrist communitcatorts like power wrangers and they are planning a moon mission

this multi generation thing reminds me oif phantyasy star 3

so this leader's daughters bf is gonnA GO on the moon shot

new guy who wihned about things going too far gives a speech on a glass pane in ther mall area about how things are gonna ruin us bny going too far

hewants peopler to go back to the goode olde dayers b4 its too late

having suffered through the iphone era, i see hes got a point

i dont got a cellphone anmd they make us weak and useless

the new leader is met with critisism of ther moon miossion as its too dangerous asnd "humansacreifce"(like the machine in Metropolis?)

oh its his daughter going on the moon thing

they argue about if danger is worth it and thebn theres a riot and they have metal bars as weapons

kinda surprised they can life it after being soft for decades

also they dress like 1800s japanese guys

also they might miss the chance to hit da moon so they gotta go now

so new leader takes a HOVER SHIP TO THE ELCTRIC GUN AND are gonna fire off

but tyhre dissenters sasy its not right and they don't want it

the leader sezxx its his right to risdk his live (which i assume is a ref to legaliozing driugs and b0ninbg and russdian roulewtte)

so the dissenters storm ther electric gun and eventrually they fire it and i think itr wacks the people stormoinbbg it

later guys talk about how we gotta keep advancing and conquer the universe and digivolve

we gotta have all the universe or nothing, which shall it be?

then zooms in on a black cloth with white dots painted on it to be stars

the end

that wasn;t too bad

but i think metropolis was better

this is pretty well donre but eats a lot of time getting to the far future

good idseas and costumes and style and its got some interesting possibilitiers

he got a few things right and while its hard to keep track of who's who and whats whnat, i liked it

some them es are a big suspect and it seems to make fgreedom and bering steady look bad

but all in all, the fiolm was well made and i didnt haTE IT

although after the fall of the massd max guy i thought the film was ghonna end

plus it didnt get bogged down in a forced sad moment or a tacked on love story

for Things To Come 2 I want it to be the 2020s and humans have spread across the solar system but some areas are neglected and feel unrepresented and form a rebellion to declare independence, and this leads to a space war where different sides fight for different reasons in exo suits, Its also a 32 bit Srpg on Sega saturn, playstation, N64 and GBA where you move your units around in a cube area made of cubes like shining force where you move up, down, left, right, forwartd and back and theres spasce things like asteroids aND sattelites and ships and you gotta do missions like beat the head unit.

Randy Rides Alone Review

 note; i spell like rand in robotech

ranbdy rides alone

This is my review on Randy Rides Alone from 1934

Its got the Superior John Waybe, George Gabby Hayes, Yakima Canut, Earl Dwire and Artie Ortego, with Alberta Vaughn who i never saw in anything ort heard of b4

most of these guys were from Blue Steel and its directyed by Harry L. Fraser who did ther batman and captain america 40s serials

i never saw this but its got John Wayne so its probably good

so it starts with a colorized lone star opening and crediyts in proper fuill screen

then waynbe comes downb a path off a rick thing and comes to a town

he stoops by a half way house and everuyones dead

isnt this how THEM happpened?

and the player piano is still going and 1 painting on a wall has guys of a guy behind it looking

anda wanted poster has its eyes shot out and writing on it saying the shwerrif to lay off of hes next

then some guys ride in and write a note saying to be quiet as he heard shots

they go in and arrest john waYBE and the mute guy writes a note saying he might e in a gang

john says he came to meet a guy and they call the coroner and take him away

the eyes behind the painting come out a trap door and its a ginger woman

she looks really 1920s with that clara bow hair

then takes 1 guys gun outta his hand and checks a hidden area under the floor

then goos oot and the posse brings john wayne in and jail him

sherrif sez to find sally rogers(Mr Rogers mom?) and mute guy writes a note to tell a guy to watch his store while hes out

mute goes to some waterfall base and some of his goons are playing cards

he takes off a moustache abnd talks and changes his clothes to all black like he's in Bleach and thnx em foir taking out the halfway house guy

now he can buy the place from the niece and own the area but they didnt find his money or neice

chick goes in to sdee sherrif and sez she already knows of her uncle getting wacked like charles the evil princes gf's

he has her see john wwaybe but mutew is going somewwhere so sherrif goes off and leaves her alone with a sus[ect

they talk and he sez he didnt do it and he was sent to see him

she shows him a note saying he was to investigate something there  and she lets him out and sez to meet her at the half way house at sun up

john waybe gets away and muite wrtites hes sorry her uncle went to h we double soviet new york and offers to buy it from her

she dont consent but he offers his safe but she sez the riobbers took it all

sherrif wemnt after johnm waynbe llike hes gacy and waynbe rides on

so he retunrs to the half way house and she has hiom lock the door b4 comming out

john waybne sez by helping him she became an accessory to crime and his orders were to wqork alone

sherrif comes by and john goes out the windowe and she goes in the trap card door

he gets on his horsde and books it and they follow

eventually he jumps in the riuver and they fire on him, buty muthbusters prooves that under 3 feet of water, bullets are useless

he comes out by a waterfall base and is caught by they goons

he meets boss who he tells he rides alone and they draft him in their group and he consents

mute boss sez he knows sherruf wants him and they plan to use him and throw him away when done

mute boss sends 2 guys chick never saw to give chick a note and tells others to bring john away

1 guy shows wayne wanted posters like the one wih the eyes shot out and they shoot holes in the eyes of 1

also they have dy no kite rigged in the place to self detonate the base

so the goons give her a note saying muter tyold her to meet him for a clue he found but she dont consent

so they take her there by force to the waterefall base and mute boss she dont recognize sez he'd let her gho if she tells him where the stuff is

later when everyones asleep, wayne tells chick he;'s going for help and she needs to trust him

sher gives him the key to the box and tells where the box is

he also cuts the dy no mite cable and takes a pack as he goes out

boss mute wakes up and goes out and puts on his mute disguise

he sends her a note saying he can help her if she tells where the money is butshe dont trust him and denies knowing wherre the money is

he can't take it and yells at her for making hium look bad  as he's given up on his mute persona

so waynbe gets the money and puts the dy no mite in the safe place and  finds the mute notye

he compares it to the poster writiong and sees it matches and rides back

he goes to town and thwe sherrif and his men chase him and he leads em to the waterfall baze

john returns and tells em he found the money in a space in front of the bar and sherrif attacks as mute boss escapes

a gunfight breaks out at the rock base and thre baddz ghet cauhgt

mute boss goes up a ladder but as wayne follows, mute pushes the laddewr off

he lands in a tree and climbs back up and they race off n horses

sherrif frees chick and she tells him john and muter got away and are heading for tyher house

after a long ride chase through the wasteland, john gets capped by mute and  falls off his horse

mute gets to the house and the sherrif arrewwsts johjn again

mute shoots the safe and the house blows and john wayne sez mute and boss were the same guy

he gives em the money and releavs hes an agent or w/e and is cleared

now john wayne beat the bad guy, saved the day, and got the girl and tsthey go off to live happy

the end

that was pretty good

not too long, with good twists and style

pretty much a silent film with words

john waynes always good in these

good tyhings like the bad guy faking being mute

good action

its a lot like blue steel but different enough

sorta like devilman and shuten doji

i liked it and its a nice film thats clean but cool

nowadays there'd be bad love scenes and swearing and gore and devients

a good whoilesome 30s film

for Randy Rides Alone 2 I want him to be married with the girl but on their honey moon are attacked by a skin walker and john wayne and his woman have to use holy words to rebuke it as bullets dont harm it. they have stunmbed on their turn and gotta get out beofree they are iced. Its also a 16 bit 2 player beat em up on sega genesis, snes atari jaguar, th16 and gba where you fight through daemons but instead of hists you use holy words to rebuke them.