Cujo Review

note; no time for jokrs, the movies staring

cujo

this is my revrw on cujo

in the 90s was a hockey player named Curtis joseph who people called cu jo

after a bad a55 blood title we get a rabbit in nature

then this big dog with big parts goes after it

it looks like the dog fro Beethoven

but I never saw those films

the rabbit goes into a cave and the fata55 dog goes in head first and barks

a bat bites his fata55 nose

this movie is based on a book by steven king

my cool 90s aunt had an a55load of his books in the 90s

I should mention cujo I based on a real dog

king was at a car thing and a dog came at him going berserk

dogs don't like me either

I hope they go extinct

they really s-ck

also we have this little boy having freakouts about going to bed

he screams cuz he fears his closet

his rents comfort him but h knows he saw a monster in there

they don't believe him but humor him

I've had supernatural encounters in my life so I think the kid might be right

is this place haunted?

is it some yokai or kuriboh or wraith or daemon?

the net day the kid has move all his cr-p over the closet door

the kid denies it

I assume it was some bakemono or spirit

the dad forces his anti supernatural views on his son

there is more to this world than we can know

the neighbor comes by and they watch a cereal add made by the kds dad

the dad looks kinda like will feral

its revealed the mom is b0ning the neighbor

this is turning into a p0rn0

at least we don't see them b0ning

the dad sez the marriage isn't doing so hot so he suggests making another kid

maybe he just wants her fat

later the dad takes the car to the garage

but the guy is busy so the mailman sends him to another guy

him and his fam drive their red sports car over and find a farm like in pumpkinhead

the fam at the farm seems like a 20s or 1800s fam

then the fat a55 dog comes up

that dog had it big dog parts flopping around

get a speedo ja degenerate!

I spend my time inside wearing my bikini brief undies

even if i'm alone

the dog is named cujo

Curtis joseph?

my name is chris michael so I assume that makes me chrimich(krimmick)

maybe chi mi?

I like saying mii kai el as it sounds more biblical

maybe mee hai'l as its more eastern European

so later the kid is put to bed and don't have as much issues

The next day theres a problem with the cereal

it makes kids barf and whiz red dye

so the dad has to go out for fixing it

I saw an add for a doll that u give water and it whizzes out its wiener

I had an idea of giving the doll fruit punch and it whizzes red liquid out its thing

later the mom wans to break up with the guy she's b0ning

the dad driving sees something and turns his car around

the mom pix up her kind h pac man lunch box d he has a head wound from being "hit by a swing"

I assume the ghost did it

later the farm fam are talking and the mom won the lottery

she wants to go to boston

the farm guy later talks with his drinking buddy who advises he b0nes til he gets diseases

also the drinking buddy sez the dog is never gonna kick a55

we get a scene of dad and son having arm clean fun

the guy the mom was b0ning comes back and starts trying to b0ne her

she fights him off and the son and dad come in

he figgers out they were b0ning

later dad is working on the car and the son asks the dad about words to keep the monster away

mommy don't know em

toughing through his pain, he tells the son he's write em down so the son will know em

what a good guy

too bad his woman's a 5kank!

hope she didn't give him the AIDS!

this is da 80z after all

at night the kid sleeps sound with the words to keep away the monster pinned on a door

also in the fog like an n64 game, the farm boy confronts cujo

cujo looks like he's rotting

were those bats zombies or vampires?

maybe they just had AIDS

later the dad goes off on some trip

the wife tries to tell the dad its over with the guy she's b0ning

he struggles with his feelings and drives off

meanwhile the farm fam is packing up an the son tells the mom about cujo

the mom sez not to worry about it

then cujo attacks the drinking buddy

he fights the cujo off and gets his gun

but as it wasn't loaded (probably due to anti gun laws) the dog tears his a55 apart b4 he can use it

so if the dog is a vampire or zombie, the guy might rise as one later

the farm dad goes to the drinking budies home and finds him shredded

he tries calling on a phone but cujo comes at him

he sez cujo's rabid and gets wacked by him

the om and son go to the farm but cujo jumps in the wndow and smears it with blood ad feces like in the human centipede!

it goes after the windshield and she blows her horn

the car f--ks out and they are stranded there

man, we're only an hour in

they got 60 minutes of h-ll left(with commercials)

once me and my fam were walking in the country and we passed this farmhouse with a big dog

dad told me if a dog attacks you, block with one arm, as it bites it you use the other to tear out its throat

later she starts the car but it f--ks out again

piece of cr-p

Japanese cars work better

and they aren't drained by unions

we need right to work

if unions are so good then wouldn't everyone choose to be in one?

they are afraid of giving us a choice

they know they s-ck and only get cash from us by leaching our cash

like a parasite

I\d rather be in the axis than a union

and i'm polish!

when the mob sez you gotta pay em to have a shop on their turf its extortion

when unions do it its "legal"

note; owning slaves used to be just as legal

at night the kid has to whiz

just do it in the car!!

or at least out the window

that dog wont circimsicze ya

use the skin to aim

the phone rings and the dog attacks it

y'know, if the chick had a conceal and carry permit, she could've wasted that dog and been free

BOOM! HEADSHOT!

maybe just through the torso and it bleeds out

the next day she wakes up with the dog looking in on her

purvo!

was he also j=rkin off???

at the fam's home the phone rings but no ones there

the mom takes the paper with the monster words but the kid needs em

the kid reads em

oh cr-p

this is like in the confederate states

and its not snowing

its gonna be hot as h-lfire in the car soon

at the post office they say that the farm fam has their mail as "hold until notified"

so no help is coming

later the phone rings and the dog starts tackling the car

wtf

crazy abomination!

it busts the handle on both sides

piece of cr-p car!

the cujo jumps on the roof and paws at it

meanwhile the dad is in a meeting and they say they need a new campaign as the cereal they sold needs a new face

the mom gets outta the car through the busted door

the dog attacks and maybe b0nes her

it gets in the car and bites her

she gets it away as it tears her skirt and closes the door

is she gonna turn into a monster cuz it bit her?

also, I heard a guy bit a dog\s ear as it bit him and the dog ran

he can dish it out but cant take it

candy a55!

the next day the dog attacks the car and the kid has an episode

the dad comes home and finds the place trashed

he blames the guy who was b0ning his woman

I think

he calls him kemp

he tells the cops his woman was taking the car to the farm fam so a single cop goes to check it out

and the dog wastes him

he tries to escape by climbing the wood in the barn

the kid has an episode and sez he wants his daddy

later the cops tell the dad that the b0ning guy admits he trashed the place but sez he never saw the woman and kid

the cop sez the farm checking cop isn't back yet

so the dad goes out to the farm on his own

she has enough of this sh-t and takes on the dog

she breaks a baseball bat on its head and when it jumps her she shanks it on the broken bat

she goes to the car and gets a gun but cant get in the car

so she busts the window with her gun

she brings her son inside and rubs water on him

she does CPR on him

spoiler; in the book he bites it

but here she gets him going again

then like in Friday the 13th with kid Jason, the dog busts in one last time

so she empties a gun into it

the husband arrives and the wife comes out

the end

I noticed a lot of things similar to other steven king books

the woman and child away from help and the dad coming for them

like pet semetary and the shining

or the parent being away and calling with no answer so he comes and finds bodies

I like how the dog is the bad guy\

most things have it as the hero or good guy

this film had good build up and pacing

I liked it

Stephen king did well

for cujo 2 i'd like he mom to be suffering from reactions of being bit and fighting turning into a dog woman(a furry). then theres a timeskip and her so is grown up and has supernatural powers from being dead and coming back. he had em b4 when he saw the closet monster. he grows up to be a big buff blonde 90s guy and goes around fighting spirts and possessed animals. He also has spirit bursts from slaying enough spirits and releasing them in a blast that wipes the area. This is also a 16 bit sega genesis and super Nintendo game and its about the kid going around the 90s fighting animal and ghosts. his gf who is also a body builder and psychic is player 2 and 8 level beat em up of them fighting Halloween style animals and stuff. the final boss is the closet monster who was behind cujo and has revived him as grotesque phaIIic abomination and the recurring mid boss.