Monday, September 10, 2018

Forrest Gump Review

note; I spell how forrest gump sounds
forrest gump
this is my review on forrest gump
its based on a book I never read and was a big a55 hit in 94
it stars tom hanks from the 90 slasher movie He Knows You're Alone
its also got robin wright and gary Sinise
btw animaniacs did a parody of this with chicken boo as gump
it starts with a cg feather traveling to wonderful music
gup gets it and puts it in his suitcase
he eats chocolates and chats with a stranger about shoes
then flashbacks to him getting leg braces to fix his f;d back
hes descended from and named after civil war hero Nathan Bedford forrest and has footage from birth of a nation
and lives in the south with his mom who rents her big home to travelers
sounds like dungeons and dragons
and gump has an iq of 75
but the state requires an iq of 80 or more to go to school
big gov ruining things
so his mom has to b0ne the school guy to get an exception
and gump makes b0ning sounds to the school guy like school guy made with his mom
she sez mr gump is on vacation
but tells gump that means hes not coming back
elvis stays with em and learns his leg hip cr-p from forests braced legs
later he goes on da bus 2 school and da kids hate him
except jenny who's nice to him
they become bffs
his only friend
later some child hicks chase gump on bikes and he runs in his braces
run forrest run
I 1st recall hearing that in eek the cat where trees run away from something after its yelled
gumps braces bust off and his legs are now super strong and he can run fast
what is he? sonic the hedgehog?!
later gump goes to see jenny and she and him run into the cornfield and pray for her to become a bird
its implied her dad b0ned her and her sister whos never seen
da cops take her to live with her granny but she often stays with gump
years later the chick kids are now teens and come after gump in a truck
he runs fast and gets into college as a football runner
later he gives a book to a black student going to a non black school she dropped
some guy he saw got capped but survived
he chats with a new stranger and reveals jenny went to a girls only college
yeah, whites only is bad but girls only is ok
he visits her and shes b0ning a guy in a car
so he attacks the guy
she brings him in her dorm and she tells her dream of being famous while undressing
she shows forrest her nips and puts his hand on one of em
but we don't see em
shes gonna turn him into a purvo!!
imagine him grabbing chicks in class
oh and jenny the bat's room mate is awake and in bed as they don't b0ne
later he does well at foot ball and meets j fk
they edit tom hanks into historical footage
btw when mrs gump saw elvis on tv she said it wasn't for young eyes
yet she loudly b0nes guys to help forrest get ahead
I think there was a law and order svu ep about dat
but the guy she b0ned wasn't actually a school guy
and they try to somehow charge him with raepe for lying about his name to seduce 5kanks
so if I was b0ning jon stewart the jewish guy but really wanted john stewart the black guy who was green lantern in justice league, then jon stewart raeped me
also; in that ep, the real school guy was black and the fake guy wasn't so my comparison stands
after graduating college he joins da army and meets his big black friend bubba who's a master of shrimp
gump does really well in the army
its like in dbz how goku is super skilled at kung fu
so jenny did semi nude pix in her college sweater and got booted from school
but a guy saw em and hired her to play guitar in da nude
but we still don't see her nips
if the internet was around today...
I mean then
or if this were today
she;d be a net 5kank and be famous for b0ning a lot of guys
like kim Kardashian and her 5kanky sisters
theres a scuffle and gump saves her from hecklers
they walk and he sez he loves her
she nearly jumps off a bridge but instead goes in a car
but 1st gup tells her hes going to viet nam
and she sez to run if theres trouble
he goes to nam and meets lieutenant (not leff ten int you Canadian candy a55es) dan
he had a relative bite it in every American war
while in nam, bubba and gump agree to be partners in a shrimp business
he also wrote to jenny
but jenny became a hippy
hope she don't rot her brains out on drugs
later they are under attack in nam
gump saves a buncha his crew by carrying em out
even lt dan who don't wanna be saved
also gump got a cap busted in his a55
dan called in an air strike but gump goes back in to save bubba
as he leaves with bubba the jests blow the place back to h-ll
they get out and bubba bites it
he gets ice scream for getting shot in the a55 (but tox) and is next to legless dan while hes on his tommy in a diaper
then he gets letter from jenny
after watching gomer pyle he learns to play ping pong
and is good at it right away
later at night dan goes on a tirade abot not being able to bite it with his men
well as his ancestors bit it, and hes wounded, i'd say he surpassed em
lt dan taylor??!!
like Daryl Taylor and DANa Sterling in Robotech?!
after nam he meets L bj and shows him the bullet hole in his a55
he goes around Washington and sees a buncha hippies
one swears a lot but its no heard in film so it stays pg13
gump goes up and everyone cheers
but his speech is cut off by a soldier polling the cables on his mics
yet gump still talks
butt talks
then he sees jenny dressed like han solo and a bible character
she brings him to a black panthers meeting
they don't trust him cuz hes white and give him propaganda tirades
some guy slugs out jenny but gump kicks his a55
yet jenny defends the slugger
she walks with gump and tells of her drugs hobo life
man she sunk low
she used to be a good girl who prayed
now shes a malcontent hippy
later she goes to somewhere else and her slugger bf sez sorry but L bj's actions drove him to it
reminds me of claude in degrassi high
later gump becomes a ping pong star
and is on a talk show with dat commie stoner lennon from the beatles
later he meets lt dan whos a disgruntled hobo now in soviet new York
and is a drunk
plus isn't into Christianity
gump tells dan he gon be a shrimp boat captain
so dan sez if gump does, he'd be gumps 1st mate
then dan's h00ker friends come by
and its new years
new york h00kers?
is this mad bull 34?!
1 tries to b0ne gump but he don't consent
so they think hes dumb
cuz b0ning a gutter whore is something everyone wants
free hepatitis with every wh0re!
dan yells at em for insulting gump and they go mental and leave
holy cr-p bubba was the black guy in the final destination (da 4th one)
later he meets Nixon and accidentally causes Watergate
hes later discharged and goes home
a ping pong paddle company gives him 25 000$ to endorse their paddle
wtf bubbas last name is blue
like the hermaphrodite in violence jack
so gump uses his cash to get a shrimpin boat
he names it jenny
meanwhile, the real jenny is partying and doing drugs
man she looks like a ghoul
she nearly jumps off a building but don't
today on intervention; jennys on something awful. and its up to her unseen sister and her many bf's to save her 5kanky a55
later lt dan comes by and joins his shrimp hunting thing
they s-ck at it so gump joins a black church
and dan comes by and chugs booze
later theres a storm that f's all the shrimp boats
except gumps
so he makes a lotta cash
the guy hes taking to on da bench outside don't think hes the owner of bubba gump shrimp
so gump tells how dan made peace with God
then he visits his mom played by sally field who was the mom in steel magnolias
after she bites it, dan invests gumps money in apple and makes more cash
then gives cash to other people like bubbas mom and hospitals
later jenny comes back to him and lives with him
they walk and find her old home, which makes her go nuts and throw stuff at
they get along and are happy
he asks to marry her but she don't think she's good enuff for him
later she b0nes him and leaves
so gump just runs around the country for a while
he gets a cult of followers and some make famous slogans and media things like the happy face
after 3 years of running, he has a santa beard but colored and quits his country run
I wonder where he cr-pped
how did no one remember him from his fame as a ping pong champ or bubba gump shrimp or military cr-p or football hero or meeting the prez and showing him his a55??
he gets a letter from jenny and is gonna meet her
and now we're back where the movie started
the chick hes telling his story to tells him her place is near by and he runs there
he reunites with her and shes got a kid forrest jr
played by the kid from the sixth sense and kingdom hearts haily joel osment
she reveals... in the case of forrest jr... forrest… you ARE da father!!
black guys; ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
also jr is smart
he has a tender moment with his illegitimate son watching sesame street
also jenny has aids or w/e
must be all the drugs and b0ning
and she wants to marry forrest
at da wedding, lt dan returns clean shaven and with metal legs
and an Asian fiancée/future wife
after the wedding, they talk about if gump was scared in nam
he tells of the beauty of nature on his travels in a poetic way
she bites it and gump buries her under the tree they played in
and had her dads home torn down
he tells her how their son is doing and its moving
and leaves her a letter from her son
he sez he don't know if we have a destiny or not but thinks its both and he misses her
as he leaves, birds chirp
a ref to her wanting to be a bird
or marin in the legend of Zelda links awakening
he sees his son to the school bus and sez he loves him
and the bus driver is the same as when forest as a kid
it ends with gump sitting there and the feather flies off from his feet to wonderful music
the end
that was great
a lite look at America in the 2nd half of the 20th century
its got heart and humor and its just a really watchable film
its good colored good lighted and well acted
with many little touches that are seen on repeat viewing
plus I almost cried in the scene near the end with gum at jennys tree
the music and editing are great and it looks kinda real with gump in historical footage
great film and a likable protagonist who is positive and honorable
for forrest gump 2 I want the people who went running with him to have formed a cult and see him as their savior. they grow in numbers and want wisdom and the meaning of life form him. but he don't wanna be in it ads he don't think he can give them the answers they want. so they capture his son and hold him ransom for the secret of existence (as they are nuts). so gump and metal legs lt dan go on a quest to get him back. its also a 2 player beat em up on sega genesis, super nintendo and Atari jaguar and Gameboy advance with gump and dan as the player characters and dan is slow but strong with heavy metal legs and gump is fast but not as hard hitting with his natural human power.

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