Friday, September 7, 2018

The Red Badge Of Courage Review

note; I spell condeferate style
The Red Badge Of Courage
this is my revuew on The Red Badge Of Courage (from 1951)
its based on a book I never read and is directed by john huston who did a buncha good cr-p
the original cut of this film was like 2 hours but the studio cut it down w/o hustons consent
just like erich von Stroheim's greed movie
so after credits shown in a book w/o pictures, it shows the authors picture
a narrator sez how great the book is and the writer did it at 22
and how its about a boy becoming a man (like dbgt??)
and many quotes of narration were from the book
if its gonna be narrated, why not just make it a silent film with title cards?
so its spring of 62 and at a base they just do military drills
ur too good 4 me dear ja military fairy! (see monkey python for getting dat ref)
hang on
I think these guys are the unionites
but the best civil war movies are about the southers
what next?
1776 from soviet englands p o v???
so a guy cleaning in the river hears from a homie theres a big battle coming there soon
he tells his fellow soldiers and none believe it
the guy (main guy ) is uneasy and writes a letter
oh f this
im watching in 144p youtube but the writing in in cr-ppy a55 handwriting and hard to read
gotta step it up to 240p
like a commie Nazi
he writes 2 his mom he hopes his service in the battle will do her proud
his droogs are eager to kill their fellow americans
1 guy sez he wont run unless everyone else does
reminds me of the time Nathan Bedford Forrest charged in alone on his horse into a group of union soldiers as his men were too candy a66 to follow
he sliced a bunch up with his saber and got out in one piece
it was pretty bada55
so main guy goes out to think and talks to a confederate across the stream
the confederate tells him to get outta the moonlight so he wont get capped
is this gonna be like Glory with the ferris bueler guy where it shows the evils of the union from their p o v?
later its daytime and one yankee talks so he gets 6 hours extra duty
after da drill 1 yankee longs for killing southern americans
then 2 yankees have a fist fight
but like mma, its just em moving around eachother
b4 they wrap their bodies against each other like centipedes b0ning, the base is sent to battle
and main guy is uneasy
along the way the yankees talk about killing americans like hunting for coons and using a dog
then they laugh at a yankee doing something with a farm girls pig
main guy goes off and his droog talks positive about the battle
but main guy worries about running
lol his droog sez main guy talks like hes napoleon Bonaparte
that was only like 50 years b4 this
so after walking more, the music turns tense and theres bodies on da ground
is this lord of the rings?
just walking to an eventual battle??
so the battle is near and they run
but the next shot has em walking
u can hear cannons
they get metal sticks and dig the ground
then move on
later they get to the battlefield
its full of smoke like d w Griffith did in birth of a nation
some other yankees on horses ride in
main yankees set up as cannons bust the field before em
main guys droog sez he knows he gon bite it and gives main guy something to give to droogs rents
the confederates fight well and force back the other yankees
main yankees gotta hold it
eventually the confederates show up nd the yankees open fire
1 guy tries to run but is forced back
makes sense why theyre called the "union"
if they go down, they all go down
no individual actions
like when they strike and the place closes and everyone loses their jobs
so eventually the yankees cap enough americans to win the fight
but a few of them got iced too
main guy sees himself as good for not running
so now they regroup and tend to the wounded
but then more confederates come at em
theres too may to stop
main guy books it and his captain sez he'd have him shot fir being a deserter
maybe if the south wins, he can live there and gain political asylum
after running through da woods for a bit he hears a yankee guy saying the main yankees held off the confederates
and now he's all bummed out
and imagines going back and all his homies who got chopped up are happy
its really happening
it was edited like he imagined it
and he envies the amputees
this guy's f'd up
he chats with his busted homies and 1 might be biting it
the biting it homie goes off in the fields and wants to be left alone
then he bites it
see you in h-ll homie
he aint gonna be in the red badge of courage 2
btw I never saw this b4 so this is a new thing to me
later main guy sees yankees running from something
he asks 1 whats going on
so the yankee busts him with the butt of his gun
at night Andy Devine who was Frisby in the twilight zone and Coyote Bill in Myra Breckinridge, finds him and helps him
he sez the battle was really chaotic and its hard to tell who's who
and hes gonna bite it anyway so might as well not worry
then drops main guy at base and goes off to fight Indians with john wayne in stagecoach
he meets a homie and sez he was shot in the head
well it was a gun wound
but not by a bullet
his homie checks his wound and sez its like a head bump
min guy then tells him jim Conklin bit it
I don't know who that is
I don't keep track of names
I think the guy who bit it
oh and after da battle many yankees scattered and fought with other regiments
main guy gives this guy his item for his rents back
I figured it was dat guy
later its day and droog isn't as eager to ice americans
a fellow yankee sez day before yesterday he was more gung ho
if only he knew how bad the day after tomorrow would be
then they go to another battle
just did some research and found the main guy is played by a real ww2 hero
I never knew of him
he as a big deal and wound up having PTSD
so then main guy goes berserk and runs onto the battlefield and opens fire
but don't get capped
after confederates retreat, main guy and droog go to the creak for water
but at it, hear they gon get sent out to a battle to help another unit
oh and main guy is wearing a headband for his head bump
kinda like Rambo or contra
so they get back and tell the guys their unit is gonna fight more
general brings em to another place and talks to em about dinner
general prays a bit and the men go to battle
we get some p o v shots of them going toward the bursting battlefield
main guy gets ahead and yells at his homies to come on
really good acting
feels real
they get in a line and open fire
horsemen come at em but fall
smoke envelops em and they rush in
cannons bust the area around em
they advance to Glory Glory Halleluiah in an epic scene
they take the ground and the soldier holding his confederate flag lays they as it blows in da wind
good shot of both flags together
so the captured confederates are displeased with the battle outcome
but warm up to their captors
oh and main guy was carrying the flag after the last guy bit it
and a guy comes up saying main guy and droog gon be promoted
main guy gets bummed and confesses he ran away b4
his droog sez he ran 2 but was caught by the commander and was more scared of him than the confederates
main guy sez confessing was good for the soul
then some other yankees come by saying they just fought the real battle on the other side of the area or w/e
and the other general they never heard of gets credit for winning this battle
they march off and make comments on nature
then narrator sez now main guy got over his fear and looks forward to peace
although I should point out that the war is far from over
then we get credits like spaceballs where it shows clips of the film with the actors and characters name on it to music
the end
that was quite good
its clean, but serious
good view on how soldiers aren't always gung ho heroes
good editing
good themes
even being a pro union movie its good
the acting is well done
I cant find the words to put it right
I feel like a bimbo
I cant put into words what worked well with the movie in a good way
it just works
its interesting and easy to get through
good pacing too
john huston does it again
for The Red Badge Of Courage 2 I want the main guy to be captured by the confederates after being sent on a suicide mission by a general who is jealous of main guy's rise through the ranks. after being left for dead and his legs shredded by gunfire on both sides (by order of the general who told his men to open fire anyway even though he was in the way) a confederate scientist (who's Mongolian but living there to help the south as he believes in em) rebuilds his legs with animal muscles and makes him able to jump better than super Mario. he then joins the south and tries to take down the general who had him capped by jumping and crushing the unionite soldiers under his super enhanced legs. its also an 8 bit NES and Sega Master System game where you play as him and go through levels dodging bulets and jumping on people as they squish under you into piles of mush. and the general is the last boss in his union fortress and is in a prototype tank America is building for ww1 but made of rocks as steel is expensive

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