Friday, May 13, 2022

The Rich Mans Wife Review

 Note: I spell like the rich make money, only bad

The Rich Man's Wife

This is my review on The Rich Man's Wife from the distant future year of 1996(110 years after i mean before Transformers season 1 i mean 3)

its diirectal by Amy Holden Jones who did The Slumber Party Massacre and wrote Mystic Pizza, Beethoven 01 and Indecent Proposal (But i never saw any of those)

It starsa Chuck Berry Jr: Halle Berry from Catwoman and The 90s Flintstones, Peter Greene from Pulp Fiction/The Mask/Training Day, Clive Owen from The Bourne Identity 01/Sin City 01/Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Christopher McDonald from Thelma & Louise//Happy Gilmore/Flubber/The Faculty/The Iron Giant/The Perfect Storm/Superhero Movie/Batman Beyond/Justice League Unlimited/Beware the Batman, Frankie Faison from Maximum Overdrive/Manhunter/Coming to America/Do the Right Thing/The Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal/Down to Earth/Red Dragon/White Chicks, Charles Hal lahan from The Thing/Pale Rider/Space Jam/Happy Days/M* A* S* H/Gargoyles, Clea Lewis from dOOGIE hOWSER/The Angry Beavers/SVU and Allan Rich from Eating Raoul/ Rocky IV/Happy Days

I never saw this b4 but its giving on Bounce and got bad reviews

aftwer a few logos and ittle we get a chick being unhandcuffed and arrewsted and filmed oin a video camera as her rights are read tio herr\

oh its hally baeey, she looked like jessica alba

she sez she waives her right to a lawyer and tells her story as she wantys to tlel the truth

nearly a 1 month ago in her husbands place she had a few fights with him andf a cr-ppy marriage and he cheeted on her like will smiths woman

that night husband was drinking and it made him do stooppid things and she figgered she'd do something against him and went to see anotyher guy to b0ne

but she was b0ned by her husbband who was b0ning a lot of others

this is how aids spreads

she sez her butt buddy was loaned money from he rhusband and wants to end their lusts with him behind her husbands back

later she goes back to her man and sez sorry and wants to try to fix their relationship and he wants her to be nice

she wants him to stop drinking as its bad for him and makes him do evil

good music btw

so he sez he'd try anbd she wants to go on a vacation but hes busy as its that time of the year

but he relents and they go to some plant filled place by plane and drive all night to some place but dont have a gatre key and gotta walk

he gets p-ssed at her for noty getting the key and in da cabin she makes drinks but hes still in bed

theres an empty booze bottle next to him and she finds it

the next day she's p-ssed and finds a small gun in thre drawer and plays with it but puts it away

later hes having work issues on his phone and shhe sez its best if he goes to work and she stays in the cabin

aat night she goes to a bar and sees a pool guy but goes backto the cabin or future

on the drive home her car f's out and shes in the woods

then a hig orange sasquatch come out with a 2 foot b0ner and startts making sounds like Daisuke Gouri in Fist of the North Star

jk a car coimes by and its pool man who offers her a ride home and guives her his coat

they get to her plasce andits raiining annd he offers to fix her car the next day

the next day he does so and wants dinnere in return but she sez shes married but he sh-ts on her manb for having a job that pays for the car

they go to da bar later and dancceand he feels her up and she goesback to the table for a smokeand food

he gets her to tell her life stoiry about running awayt and dropping outta huigh school and working at a grocery store and meetuing her husband who wanted to marry her on da 1st date

sshe loves him but pool guy tries trio turn hi=er against him by getting her toi ditch him and blaming husband for signing a pre nup so she don't jyuu half his dough

she falls for his temptaion and wishes he were dead even though he saved her from the slums

this is like how the feminazies turn good women into b--ches by making em hate the men who love them

pool guy offers to ice her husband for her and she wants to gp home but he's her ride and takes her home

on the way home he comes onto her and she dont consent and he turns off the headlights and dtyives fast to f with her

zhe turns on the lights but he jumps tthe road and goes around a circle in da wopods b4 going back on it and busting the game

at her place he tries going gacy/dahmer/albert fish/bruce macarthur/spACY but hetero and sghe gets insidde and lightly cuts his face with a bullet

rather than finish him off and save his future victims; she lets him go to butt sodom more girlsd like hes weinstein/woody allen/ron jeremy/polanski/the rwst of hollywood

then we get husbands b day and hes chaos number 41 in attack mode

they are getting along and hes sorry for blowing off their vacation for work and shes sorry too

he's bummed at his life going and how shes his only good thing and he wants em to get along

later main guy is out at a bank machine anbd its raiining asnd he sees a guy

he driives home amnd gets a call on his cellphone from hally whos makking dinnere  and he weants to take her out

then in the bacxk seat the pool guy comes out with a gun and makes him drive tosome pplace and when they get out he caps him

he's not dead and fights for a bit but runs and is by a playground but when pool guy mentions husbbasmnds wifge, hhusband fights back

but is iced by pool guy after taking a lot of shots like hes rasputin

at her plasce he gets in but she gets his gun but its empty and pool guy tells how he iced her husband

he sez hoe she wantef him to do it and the waitress will back him up and she denies it and calls the cops

he hangs up and sez tthey both go to jjail if she dont stand up for him\

the cops comer and she greets enm at and the station she sees a gheretto 5ksaank being taken away and freaks out to the little girls rooom

so the cops question her and she sez she don't know who might waNT TO ICE HIM

afterwards the cops talk and think if it were a real carjacjking the kiullewr wouldnt leave the car but 1 cop sez he might hasvebeen scared off by the alard

1 cop sez it might be this black guy seen in the aarea and black cop dont think so

black cop takes her home and lateer the news talks about how this wacking was in soviet los angelas as i think its the NON slum part of the start

her ex butt buddy comes by and offers to hewlp but she dont want him there and dont wwanna tell who iced her husband

but then tells him the whole story and the pool guy wants 30 000 defence points or hes gonna say she paid him to ice her msan

but if you pay him then it looks like you did it!

f--kin dumba55!

and why are you tewlling him?! thats 1 more variable that knows your secret and can use it on you!

so butt buddy comes by i mean goes home and pool guy is there and they know each other

pool guy cuts his b-lls off i mea his own hand and they say they need each other for this thing

he wwas meant to ice the husband in the abin and butt buddy can marry him i mean her and he cAN PAY POOL GUY


pool guy has a thing for the halle and butt buddy fights pool guy but is pinned

at the station a neuro surgeon is suing the statyion for saying lies on him

the cops look into the halle and tallk to a chick about photoes of hallle in poses and lingeree and she reveals her ex husband was b0ning halle and is broke

mrs buitt buddy tells da cops of the prenup and sez her ex butt buddy owes her money andthe cops never knew of this somehow

if it weren;'t for the unuion, we would have talent quotas so the cr-ppy cops couyldn't stay on and lower the average

halle finds her husbnnasnd didnt have a wiull and with red tape to sort out; she has to wait a year to get money

after da service the butt buddy's ex taunts butt buddy over him icing husband and the cops see butt budy check the glove box where the halle photoes were found

pool guy talks wit the halle and they see and they keep an eye on him

what if the poiol guy and the butt buddy were trhe same guy but different sides of his persona that comew out?

so then hakllle drivbes on to some place and its night there and she has an envelope and ppacks a gun

she meets pool guy in this concrete tunnel and pulls a gun on him and wants him to gibe her the gun from the cabin and makes him throw hisd coat with it

some homies come by and he taskes her gun and firesd on them but misses and she nails him, but instead of takking him out or nailing his leg or a kill hit, runs like a candsya555 and crosses a freeway of cars like its f--kin frogger!

somehow she gets back to her caR OFfscreen and gets to a restaurant king and in da  kkitchen; tells her butt buddy

oh aand he fired on her even though if he iced her the whole plan would fall apsart and he'd probabl;y get the chair

butt buddy sez to run to soviet canada or mexico and shhe ssez she dont want the money AND THINKS it was "his power over her" even though he loved her and shges just being a b--ch

he dont weanna go to the cops and butt buddy serz cole wont hurt her but she, dumba55edly, says "i never told you his name" and reveals she knows in front of him

she runs home and gets inside and calls rthe cops who fibnd pool guy iced his ex and had a hung jury but the phone f's out b4 they answer

butt buddyknocvks on da window saying pol guy is there but is capped and gues through the window

like in many ofd these 90s thinghs; the killer wanders aroubnd in a cool lighted as the chick hides and he just goes by her

sjhe should've came out with a knifge and shanked him to h e double caliufoprnia

instead she tries to escape adfter he goos by and trys to uise the car but has the wrong keys

he is on da roof and f--king jumps throyygh the sky light w/o any cuts and he gets her at ginpoint but dont cap her

she axes his back, gets his ghun and blows out his wrist thern beats on him

the cops are comming and pool guy wants her to ice him and eventually does

now he wont drop the soap

so then the cops come in and arrest herandf we're at the start of this like sunset blvd

she sez she lied b4 and is telling da trurth but only iced pool guy for self defence

the cops think shes lying and have no evidence to counter it and with pool guys record; she'd be found not  guilty

hey dont wabnna risk another lawsuit andf try getting infdo from mrs butt buddy 

she sez good sh-t about husband and thathalle didnt do it but butt buddy did as halle didnt have the guys or brains to ice guys

then halle comes out and drives off with mrs butt buddy and say the cops fell for it

the end

that was not so bad

good musiic although kinda antisubtle

good twists

nice filming and editing

the acting was iinda bad and the characters were kinda stoopid

but it makes sense as she's lying the whole time

its got a few good parts and even though some stuff don''t add up

its got a good feel and i had some good with it

For The Rich Man's Wife 2 I want the cops to dig up new evidence against halle and mrs butt buddy and they gotta go through the rotting slums of los angelas to get the proof from a covert cyber punk who has hideen camera footage from hacking into the system but there's gangs around who don't like cops and you gotta get through this cesspoole of a city tro get back to the station. Its also a 16 bit action game like Phantom 2040 on Segas Genesis, Snes, Atari Jaguar, TG16 and GBA where you go around the German expressionist looking area of devolved people in gangs who are mutated by pollution and drugs and aids.

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