The Ghoul Review

note; i spell undreaM i mean undead

The choul

this is my review on The Ghoul from the distant future year (To Erich Von Stroheim) of 1975 (30 years before Transformers The Movie happened)

its directed by Fred Fuchs I mean Freddie Francis who did The Evil of Frankenstein/Dracula Has Risen from the Grave\F--KIN TROG!!!!! AND THats all i saw  him ddo

it stars Peter Cushing who had big feet and probaably big parts, from The Curse of Frankenstein\hammer Dracula\The Revenge of Frankenstein\the hammer films The Mummy\The Evil of Frankenstein\Dracula A.D. 1972\The Satanic Rites of Dracula\Star Wars ep 004\and NOT star wars Rogue One, John Hurt rom A Man for All Seasons\Midnight Express(ohhhhhhh billy!)\the 70s pr 80s or w/e Watership Down\the 70s animated The Lord of the Rings\Alien\The Elephant Man\History of the World, Part I\The Plague Dogs\Nineteen Eighty-Four\Spaceballs\Frankenstein Unbound(that ones good)\Rob Roy\Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone\H-llboy\V for Vendetta\Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull\Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1\2011 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2\the 00s carttoon of Watership Down, Alexandra Bastedo from Batman Begins, Gwen Watford from the 60s Cleopatra (Who despite whAAT SOVIET netflix says, was NOT black, but macedonian or w/e), Stewart Bevan from nothing I ever saw, Veronica Carlson from Dracula Has Risen from the Grave\Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed\The Horror of Frankenstein, Ian McCulloch from nothing i saw, John D. Collins from Dracula Has Risen from the Grave, Don Henderson from Star Wars ep 0004/Red Dwarf which i never saw but my homie is confederate Utah likes and some guy not  on candy a55 beta male gilry man wikip[pedia

i nbever saw trhis but its by the brits who have outlived their usefulness once Ameerica came in

so aafter credits to a red curtain and dramatic music for a wehiler, we get tghis gravben idol then tthe definition of Ghoul

this b,onde walks aroiund with a candle as whispering goes on and gradually goes upstairs and goes in a rooom as a guy habnngs himself and drools spurm but isnt dead

wait there he goes and wait its a prank and they are playing a game where if she screamned she'd lose like the electric chair roller coaster in yugioh saeason zero manga

the people go backl to the party abnd dance like people think White people do but not the GOOD Whites from Easternb Eutrope

so some guy goes outside and chats with da blonde who wants to sit in siome beachg or pool or something and drove an ajmbulance in the war and was 15 but faked being 18

wouldn't that make her 45?

so shes gonna drive andhes comming and a guy comes out and they say they gon drive over 200 miles abnd the other guy says his red car is better

blonde tells the 1st guy jeffery like the right honorable jeffery ahmer who  overcame both sodomy and murder and canbnibalism with The Good Book, and tells him to race the otrher guy 200 miles

sges called daphne like the bimbo  from dbz's actress and the red car guy is named billy OHHHHH BILLLLLLLY! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU BILLY!? THETY TURNED YOU BILLY! THEY Crammed a banada in your back door bnilly!

so back door billy announces his race rto lands end and the 1st to swim in the atlantic wins and daphne goes with billy and some dame goes with jeffery as witnesses

jeffery is unsure and turns his crank but on the car not his b0ner

wjast year is this?

so both cars start and daphne drives desapite her disability odf bewuiing a dame and theryt go off

other chick is billys sistr and maybe gf, yoou know how the brits are with their inbreeding

billuy reads a map and it blows out the window that is the open roofless car

daphne looks back to see the north star and drives cr-ppy and sister is cold so jeffery sez to gewt in by the engine

at the wide a55 of te roaad, jeffery tries rtoi overtake em but daphne blocks embut jeffdery gets beside herand advances bneyond

daphne is told to keep the needle outta the red at sapeeding and sister wants to get out ssdo jeffery hunter stops as daphne b--ches out about winning and goes ahead

daphne's god on of rage

she gets into fog and goes fast as billy sez not to but in a sissy way like brits do as the women are the manly ones there like the candy a55 french

they run outta gas i think and billy has no extra and daphne makes him go get more but he screamms and runs back and fimnds a big cliff by where they almost wqent

he/her goes off  iin this foggy a55 place and its a pinewoood backlot andf this guy coomes by daphgne and leaves asfter feeling her coat or something

she thinks billy did it and wakes up and writes on trhe winddshield in lipsticjk

the guy from alien who the d0ng burst outta is watching and not j-rkin off for some reason anbd she goes to find billy in this power rangers swamp

she finds some shadowey guy who wants to  help her and  sez therwes bno garage aroubd and its alien 1 guy

she runs tyo this gate and alien 1 tells hewr the house is empty but hes creepy so she runs and he naILS HER IN DA SKULL WUITH A ROCK

MUST BE IRISH

F CAPS LOCK WAS ON, GO SUCK A  DEAD BRITS AIDS D0NG YOU SPIURM JUNKIE

shge wakes up in a cr-ppy a55 room and sees alienn 1 looking at weer beind a cage cuz hes devolved or something and sez he had to stop her and won't te;ll her wqhos up there and throws her on the bed

she stands up to him and he slugss her like an irish and she knees him in the man parts and runs

the gate is chained and she runs as he follows aBND RUNS INRTIO THE GUY FROM STAR WARS 4 AND SEZ "HE ATTACKED ME"

THERES NO ONE THERE AND SHE'S BRROUYGHT IN AND sez her name is daphne wells hunter

the grandmother of Rixck  Hunter from Robotech?!

so her copilot is missing and car ran outta gas and he has none and star wars offers her tea cuz they are too dvolved in sovviet england for pop

star wars gets her a roiom and hhas his maid or slave or w/.e gewt readsy and the fog can laast for days

he adds logs to the fire andshe notices a photo of his wife and sez shes beautifui;l aand he sez shes dead

the maid was his sons  nure and she sesz his son migt be handsome if grown up and he sez he dont see his son

maiid has alien 1 in the kitchen and sends him out and brings in foods and apgne likes violins that star wars makes aabnd he plays 1

she falls asleep abd ghe looks at her creepy

she wakes up with his b0ner in her mouth and screams which makes him blast goo in and it goes out her nose

jk rewally he keeps plasying and she wakes up and ses he plays good

shes tol she slept 3 houers and that billy went to get petrol 3 hours ago and star wars sez he'd be  ok cuz the marsghes are foggy here anbsd shes ok weioth it

styar wars leaves and she chex out his fam pix and saees a reoom with a gold cross  but maid sends him out i mean her

she spaszzxes pout in gaijin talk and star wars sez its God's Sanctuary and tghat the maid is out of touch with the 20th century and is from soviet india where someone is raeped every 24 mins

star wars sent alien 1 oout and her found builly at the car and sleepingg and closed the door on his coat and rolled it off a clisff and he's tpoo dumba55 to take it off like tristin/honda in yugioh season zero manga and goes ovewr and bites it

we getta wipe but not on the a55 but to change scenwes ansd alien 1 gets smokes or something from the car

main the gaijin brings in alien 1 who sez there wasthe  motorcar but hes not there andbrought in a notesaying "gone home"

star wars is called mr lawrence like the spongebob guy and t e lawrence who got b0ned by gaijin and alien 1 talks with gaijin about how her prayers brought over the daphne

alien mentions a cow and she sez not to say that cuz she worships cows and he makes a cow sound so she throws a knife at him

what a sane logical highly evolved human

NOT

star wars shows daphne his photyoes in a vieewfinder of his time in soviet indsia and the rajaS  son of 1 of his 3 wives devolved his am and his wife suicided

she looks at his photoes and seez hes a cletrgyman but not Catholic as he has a wife and son and he sez hes not anymore cuz of the gaijin doing rituals to their gaijin gods and 1 guy burned out his eyes for em

the raja jr got his woman into vile  obscene things and he gets emotional

she sez the fog lft but he sez she cant go cusz it can com,e back, also the maid belongs to a cult that dont touch meat

i b0ne my meat

jamming my footlong into a meatload

not a dead cow, that would be onbwscene

but meat loaf is cooked and spiced

so daphne goes up to have a baTYH AND maid wants to bathe her cuzz shes a deviant and daphne sends her out and puts a chaiir by the door and undresses

as she takes off her undies we see shes got man parts and they are long  and uncut in skiun

jk really it dont show her nips or d0ng andshe baTHES IN A CHAIR THING

THE MUSIC HAS THE SWAn lake or dracula thing and hgsaijin looks at nives lined up

after her bath she  the blonde daphne comes dow and her hair is a bit like dana from robotech and she has nude baths  like dana from rtobotech and shes a fightr like ana from robotech

she looks in on star wars praying and he hears her ands sez its ok andsez she heard the muisic

he sez he prayed for faith to return and later listemns to a record but after dinner sees blonde is tired and gets her to her room  instead of leaving

she goes into bed with blothes on and gaijin puts nets on the bedto keep da bugs out  and has a beadfs thing and leaves

star wars plays violin as gaijin prays to her graven idol of a pagan god and later turns a key in her door and sits outside and chanting as alien 1 sits outside

this  devolvedguy comesdown the stairs asnd in her room with sa knie and cuts  the nets as she spazzes out abnd ui think chops he a bunch then leaves

aliewn 1 f's with a stove and has her body in a cloth and gaijin sez he can leave

gaijin cuts u0p her body while speaking gaijinese and alien 1` watches but dont j-rk off his long xenomorph db0ner

so  she woont eat animals but will eat people? is this PETA?

alien 1 goes to his shed and gaijin puts a bown ofd woman chowder in this door and ohg it was the devolved guys door she unlocked and he gets it and brings it in

edwards i mean lawrence is upset and prays and gaijin puts the blondes cloths in the oveen and cleans the room

in civilizationb the fam of back door bioilly finds him inb the cops vody shop and identifies him

only 1 body was found but no girl ands the area wasdn't searched and this bycicle cop brings ek there at the cliff and sez the area is 1 marashgland

it was used by the army as a training area but they lost too many men and dont wanna search as the locals dont wanna

the cops wont help and its brittisah and they dont got guns which negates the whole point of calling the cops

stop criminal! in the naME OF THE LAW!~

i dont obey the law!

well, i've done all i can do, carry on sir!

so jefferty hunter leavbes billy sister/lover in the car and looks around and alien 1 sees him

sisyer calls to him saying shes hungry and i hope she dont eat da blonde chuncks and blows the hornb to bring him back b4 going herse;lf by drivcing or trung to cuz shes a chick

alien 12 sp[azzes oit  in he road and she rams into somethng and he brings her to the shed

she wakes up and sees a fetter i mean ferret and alien 1 sez she hit her head asbdd he helped her

she sez her brorther bit it in a motorcar accident

are there non motor cars?

aliuen 1 sez ur not going anywherew andlatyer jefferyt von bargenn wait thats daniel from sseinfeld, sees the car busted

ALIEN 1 sez hes gonna  keeo her there as long as he wants abnd her buddyu dont now  sgwas there

jeffery goes in da gate as alien 1 sharpens a blade

i only knew john huert from nice guy roles buty here hes kind of a bad guy and does well in it

jeffery comes in the house aned looks around even though hes a stranger and tresspasser

if curshing caps him, its legal

well, in America anyway, not sure about back doort england

gaiojin spazzes out and screams at him and star wrs asks what hes doing in the house

after telling his stoery offscreen he is offered a drink and finds a button from her coat

lawtewnce sez she was drove badly by the guy aand went on a bus to london

holes in strory

objectioonm

there is a contradiction

sister named angela likwe anaconda  but not the hermaphrodiote xx star sez she has money but aliens 0 sez he looked whgen she was ouit

mr lawewerence sez angela went home ion a bus and he leeaves and angela tries to call for jefery after throwing clithes in alien 1s face but he styops her

alien 1 beats him i mean her and alien 1 tells lawretrence that he told her whats going on and they cant let her go and star wars lawrtence gets p-ssed at her i meanb him

theres no onew who knows shes here and star wwars sez shes not to be hurt andf wheh alien goes in theshed she throws cr-p at himbut she i mean he grapples her

this wads intense for the 60sa

wait its the 70sa, we had last house on the  left by then

so jeffet tries the car and alien 1 shows angela no anaconda the smokes he got from her bros body and takes er necklace

jeffery comes to get allien 1 whos called tom ;ike tom green and tom six and tommy wiseau toget his car outta da ditch

jeffery can see tom was in the setrvice andgoes with him when telling star wars was mernmtyioned

after getting the car out, he asks alien 1 the tom if he helped a blonde get a bus but after denying it was told star wars saiod he did and he spazzes oput and runs

in da marsh jeffery is srtucxk in the muckl andtom sez hes gonna sibk but wghewn running, is called private and his 8nstinmcts kick in and he falls in the cr-p

he sinks and jeffery tells him how to get out and to stay satill so he dont sickl

after being guided over by jeffery, jeffey grills him on what happenbed andv howhe tried to save da blonde and theres a man eating monster in the upper room

gaijin  unlpocks the dor and jeffery asks star warts if theres a man eater i there and is told tom isa nuts and ddessertyed the force insatead of fighting

also he didnt brimng ddaphne to the bus and she was independant and strong ike dana in robotecjh

they hear gaijin praying to her god andhe  tells her off for pagan god worship but jeffery seez daphnes beads and goes up

star wars sez the gjhoul is his son who the wife made him swear not to end him

jeffery goes up and seez sometjhibg and comes out weith the blasde in his head and falls over

gaIJIN GOES UP AND BRINGS THE JEFFERY TO THE ROOM TO CHOP UYP AND TOM the 1 aliewn opebns the door for angelas room ands gores in

he tells her jeffery getting iced and now hes gonna have her

she tries to resist but tom alien 1  sez she better be nice to  him but she beats him out with a jar and the ghoul whos a hairlress devolvef guy comes in and shanks up tom

she screams andhe comes for her and star wars caps his junkie son who sez "father help me" in a kid voice and he  puts another bullet in him

angela runs out screaming and star wars eats his gun,  leaving gaiijin  to own the home and eat the dead

the end

that was good 70s brit horror

kind of a daerrkj ending but europeans like that

like how in the siulent era the europeansd got the sad ending and Americans got the Happy one

or movies from europe like the 120  days of sodom, the human centipede and a serbian film

its a decent slasher kinda movie and is a bit like The Shining with oty a big body count and a house of evil good people are stuck at and theres a dark secret

low body count but for the 70s it was a lot

only years prior it was the hayes code with no swearing or drugs or race mixing

like youtube under susan mcpolishname

While many Poles are good people who are eccentric and nice, like tommy wiseau or niucholas cage, some choose to be ervil, like john wayne gacy or susan mcpolishname

weirds how youtube is afraid of "edgy" content while netflix makes gay xxx

but back  to this filme, in the 70s they were more open to endings where everyone died

by the 90s we had happy endings, 80s too wewith the dark crystal and the sseecret of hihm and cujo

anime had endings where everyone gpot it like violence jack oAV 1 OR m d geist or urotsukidoji

its got a good build up annd i think is in the 20s according to youtube and not the 70s like i thought at 12st

its only like 90 mins and id colored and i think, yeagh its proper fullscreen

glad i saw this, it holds up and has that hammer style even though i'm not sure hammer made it

For The Ghoul 2 I want the gaijin maid to have used her pagan gods magic to revive the master and the tom and the son as her slaves and send them out on missions to take out the brits as she hates em for what they did to her homeland, but also to make england into new india, also  the anglea girl fightrs to survive in the wilderness and eats briyttish cryptids to sufrvive and turns bada55 and weaprs a bikini of their skin, and it ends with the gaijin ready to launch her invasion from the slaves getting her bodies to use and the angela beating this big a55 brit sasquatch to master her bada55ness, then in The Ghoul 3  the gaijin has taken over england and the resistance is fightying her zombie slaves and is  lead  by the angela weho uises a holy spear from a museum that dispells her black magic and returns the gjouls to dead and they blow apart into blood and chunks, alsothe gaijin forces are beat back and the gaijin summons her gaijin god to take out the Europe and the anglea has an epic battle against this giant daemon jumping around and busting its soul jewels to  beat it with the spear, also they are 16 bit games on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jagyar and gba with 2 being a metroid vania game with you finding this spear in this temple in the marshes and fighting brit cryptids, and 3 being a beat em up with you taking on the enemy zombies.