Creepozoids Review

Note: I spell creepalicious

Creepozoids

Yhis is my review on Creepozoids from the distant future year to Manly HEro ohn Wayne of 1987(20 years before Transformers Season 04)

Its direted by openly French el deviwnto David DeCoteau who did the cr-ppy but fun Grizzly Rage

It stars opebly vegan Linnea Quigley from The Return of the Living Dead/A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master/Phantoms, Ashlyn Gere from a lot of p0rn0 and  Basic Instinct, and others not on bac door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, monkey junkie, gender offender, Creator hater, frooty booty, banana crammer, queer as a deee wuit a steer in its rear, hippie stoner vegan pea tree kung fu base on plants, soy boy, beta male wikipeia who is used by THEM to trick us

I never saw this but sovie aids bag Wikipedia ez people said it s-cked, but they also said unit 731 as real so yeah.

after a cheap loo we see a nerd in a lab , wait, is a chick and she thinks theres someone outside

the music is a bit like tim burtons batman but this came 1st

eventually she opesns the door anthere sa power rangers monste

then title and text saying its the distant futue year of 1998 and 6 years after a nucular war so people fight to survive

then people walking as credit and 80s music plays and its kinda fun

the tet is in green computer things and holy cr-p the music was done by guy moon from fairly odd parents

eventually they stop and 1 guy has tennis elbow in his shoulder and theres something coming so they go for cover in a building

i thin its a storm or w/e and wait i thin its acid rain that melts thei bag they left out

they recon the building and say 40 paces only

on the goo side theres no uggmoes in here. they look normal and aen't devolved or gross

1 group thinks the people in her eleft in a hurry

the teams loo around and 1 finds a bed and a shower but the guy sez it might be contaminated

she tests it and it seems good but 1st they gotta eat

1 finds the lab from b4 and the others find the mess hall an i think they're military from how they talk and act

guy in lab finda  computer btu sees a corpse and screamsso the others run o him and say "it can hurt u"

what it its part snake and reacts after being dead? like snake people?

at dinner they talk of satying in til the rain passes and some wanna go back out

blonde chick goes for a shower and wears a tank top w/o a bra cuz this is the 90s homie wiggle eiggl

1 guy oes to standguard and he wants to shower wih him an take sof her small white tank top to show nips

at the computerthe nerd who saw th copse looks ino the files but its classified

in the shower blonde and muscle guy make out and maybe b0ne to soft anime like music

nerd solfdier looks in the files and finds something of ammino aci and sez b4 he was a poison gas guy who didn't getta chance to use it

blonde guy sez they're desserters and cant contact the military and they talk of the lab they're in making artificial life like THEY did b4

blonde e the place is dead and theirs now and later with a dark tinted blue sky it shows its night

nerd gets up and looks aoround and finds a floppy disk and reads it finding a iary saying its been a while since contact with new l a like soviet l a with the commies

he hears a sound andfinds a vent or w/ebehind a screen under the deck and the diary reas that she had to cover something up and clean up the blood

nerd goe through the vents andcobwebs as the cops might get him like ernest p worrel and han steps in black cr-p

he comes out ina foggy rock place and a monster grabs him with its face pincers as he screams

then i day anbrakfast is up and the leader calls em and the blonde and buff guy are in bed

they wake up nerd whos in bed and talks of how the war isn't over and they have breakfast

leader sez do rcon of the place to make sure and nerd checks the computer

blone suggests having fun and other chick sez they built this planning to stay

main guy se it might not be gov and ner starts spazing out anpukes blood then his eyes turn green and hand devolves and h bites it

they check the computer but cant get in and think its not the food cu they all ate it

buf guy wants to leave but leader want to find out what it is

other chick sz they made it to keep something in not out

oher chic looks into it and thinks they figgere out how to make humans mae thir own ammino acids so whennerd ate it he bit it as he didn't need to eat

they fin the hole in the vwnt and bicker on if they otta go in so leder goes in with a gun cuz hes not a dumba55 who goes in an unknown place unarmed

he crawls for a while to therock lair of fog andit looks inda cool

he guys remaining think leader should've been back a while ago and buff guy goes in as blonde sez they dont know what this is an runs off

he finds a rotted corpsehhanging frmthe closet like a gender offender and wigs out so other chick comes to comfort her as does buff guy

theres a way in the vent there and buff guy goes in and findsleaderlaying there after being encountered by something

other chick is in the lab and has blonde take samples from nerds bod

they check the computer and see nerd was healthier tan all of em an had an amazing protein

but the creature that attacked was maybe human b4

they hear a sound and go check it out and a big a55 rat or killer shrew or w/e bites buff guy and the others blast it with a lazer gun

they say no food for buff guy an he wants to use an umbrella to lure the monster in the acid rain but leader se its too smart

buff guy sez send and SOS but is told they'd get execite for desertion

leaderchecs the computer and the others look around

buff guy fights a bug yokai that busts him but don't finish him and the computer is destroyed in the fight by acid or w/e

the bug which looks pretty good takes buff guy and the chicks say the guys were off too long and talk about guys and growing up to try to make em relatable

other chick tis gonna have a shower but blone screams cuz a guiant ra in attack mode aacs her direcly

after fighting they get on the bed and other chic checks under it like a dumba55 and gets her neck bit

blonde kicks it away or w/e an leader tends to her

bug monster takes buff guy andsprays him with cr-p andlear/londe get him

is this rippin off the princess bride with rodents of unusual size or w/e?

they bring buffguy back and he's on a bed and spazzes out barfing blood as his face devolves like tha cross dresser who got glue and cement injected in his face

the bug yokai comes in and leader fires energy blasts from his sci fi gun at it

blonde checks other cic who devolved andtrues strangling her so she beats her aoeface witha glass and flips her

they fight more and blonde gets her game on Alexus an kicks her devolve a55 then cruches her under a bookshelf and she barfs blood an dies of autism

leader runs and trips on his own fet and the bug thing gets him

blonde goes in the vents and finds leader in the rock lair but the bug yokai is there

it lifts her up and i thin barfs in her mouth  and she spazzes out

leader wakes up and books it, i assume later, andafter venting for a while is in the storehouse and the bug reptile thing or w/e is lurekng around

he gets some needles or injecting as it lowly lumbers to somewere

eventually he fights the thing and hides bug it gras him andlits him up as he screams then drops him

he kinda get away or something or i guess it lost intert as hehiding behind a thing, its not well explained, and charges with the needle

he gets flipped amd thrown into boes thenams the needle in it an injects it with liquid autism

it spazze out blating goo and bite it butout of itsboy crawls a brain on a reptile body and wait it a baby like thing

its umbilical chord comes of and i crawls and the effects are petty good

eventually it crawls over to leader and attacks

wait, were there 2 guys here?

he gets p andlooks around an i guess the baby thing was in his mind, wait theres a groaning

the bay attacks him and he falls but gets up and i guess this is the final forme of the boss

it looks kinda reptilian like THEY are

he opens a thig and it umps him but he falls an gets it away

eventually he grabs it and strangles it like homer on bart and it bies it

he leaves and sees the ohers bit it but he baby revives and screen freezes as creits play to 80s music like a genesis game

2n assistant camera; gay Norris, tee hee

wardrobe supevier Wilma rubble, like the flintstones?

stunt player bob brown, like the rapper who ruined whitmey huston?

assistant to director David lean, like the 40s guy?

The end

That was pretty cool

not gonna win the Oscar but not trying to

a nice 80s old dark house movie of people fighting some mnonster

the future 1998 thing was also in Escape Frim New York but this was different

An a war in the 90s was also by Hokuto No Ken with the nucular war in 199X

And Robotech with the Global Civil War of the 90s

Man the 80s thought we'd go mad max in a few years

Good Thing Ronald Reagan countered the soviets

if biden was prez we'd have lost

and he/they/it tried to be prez in the 80s and f'd out after it was revealed he lied

but this movie wasnt as bad as soviet candy a55 soy boy beta male aids bag Creator hater Wikipedia sai it was

they/them also said Shining Soul II wasn't good so I trusted those banana crammers and skipped it for 20$ at a used shop

When I went to find it online I found its like 60$ later

yeah the acting is a bit wooden, but its a cheap horror movie

it not trying to be gone with the wind or the Ten Commandments or Birth Of A Nation or Ben Hur

Like it for what it is, don't hate it for what its not

although i didn't like silence of the lambs for being all chat an no splat

but this was entertaining and is only like 72 mins

unlike titanic which is like 5 hours with ads

this was even kinda ripped off by Starship Troopes 2 the direct to video sequel

plus th music is pretty cool and 80s

Glad I saw this one, Its enjoyable

For Creepozoids 2 I want it to focus on the baby thing going out in te world and eating animals and people an taking on the traits of the things it consumes. But acid rain rots it and it looks lie a mold monster wit various animal parts. Also it fights people devolved by radiation from the nucular attak an ryptids like sasquatch and other American Yokai. It also a 32/64 bit game on ega Saturn, playstation, N64 an 3D0 where yo play as the yokai baby thing and gain new abilities by beating the thing you want it from in battle and use them to get across areas in the ruined city and wastelands.