The Man From Button Willow Review

note; I know nothing of this film. so my typoes are good

the man from button willow

this is my review on the man from button willow

my homeboy scotty recommended this film to me when I asked him if theres any films he wants me to do

so here we go

it as with a guy talking about after America lost the civil war they started a rairlroad

but one problem was people buying land ahead of the railroad and charging the guv to railroad it

isn't that exactly what ray croc did to mcdonalds?

also, the carpet baggers are ok but this is seen as bad?

so the guv sent investigators to stop people from owning property

what is this?! soviet Canada?!

but often these goons didn't return

good

send em back to h-ll!

but the gov sent a secret group to stop the americans

one was Justin eagle

and this is his story

btw Justin is kind of a candy a55 name now

esp after Bieber, trudeau and timberlake

what next?

justin wayne gaCY?

then we get animated credits with a song About the man from button willow(Justin candya55)

wtf this is animated

narrator describes the town and Justin returns

he tells em about hw san fran siscko is doing as he was just there

man, they reuse the animation of him on his horse a lot

he goes to church (which would probably be made to look bad if this was made today)

da gov is ready to connect new york to California by railroad

that's like making the human centipede!

then this fat chick flirts with Justin for looking after an Asian girl

but Justin sez he has a gf and the fat chick gets p-ssed

its revealed the girls dad bit it and gave custody to Justin

also Justin implies the girl is his secret gf

is this like Asuka and ein/ain in Hokuto no ken 2?

or like Edward g robinson and his daughter/gf in hatchet man?

btw this film is in proper full screen so no black bars eating the top/bottom

this geezer talks to Justin about the railroad and an obvious bad guy hears

after church he asks about the bad guys and a guy sez the bad guys are new

they have that new villain smell

btw the geezer has a pet skunk and a skunk hat

on the way back, geezer tells the girl why he didn't marry

in song

every 4 seconds he sez "excuse me" for no reason

if he were Canadian he'd say sorry

as Justin gets home, this blue bird tells all the animals

why??!!

oh and theres an eagle around for some reason

btw i'm not sure what the little girl is

she says "san" like in japan but dresses like they do in china

not sure the writers/animators new the difference

like how Irishmen and polishmen are the same

just look at polish wedding

also Justin often goes out for a while and don't say where he was

I think that also happened in brokeback mountain

also the Justin's horses are in love

wtf the pet skunk is in love with the skunk hat

necrophililia!!!

later geezer is looking for a pidgin and talks to animals

but it identifies as a chicken and sits on eggs

that's cultural appropriation!!

so geezer uses pidgin to send a message

but it f's with him and goes into the chickens room

so geezer hits the room with a shovel and it rockets the pidgin out

wouldn't that break the eggs?

but then theres something wrong with an animal

when the gang is walking back/forth, they give his gun on 1 leg but not the other

kinda figured they'd have it on both

they animated this better than I thought

so the white horse pooped out a brown baby horse

but who is the father?!

find out, today, on maury!!

then baby horse learn to walk

its legs are all f'd up

man, these horses aint as attractive as the my little pony babes

then animals just move around fore several minutes

how plot relevant

wasn't this about a cowboy or something?

later the girl goes to sleep

such a needed scene

its like in the room how its day, then night, then day again

otherwise going from day to day wont show its a new day

so after breakfast Justin talks to the animals

then sings

they give the animals personality

but don't say the reason most were bred was to be cooked

then hes driving his wagon in a straight line left to right as a song plays

so in town geezer gets a 1. 50 $ shovel for 1. 10 $

then the girl gets him to give a good deel on yarn

oh and a senator is coming

and a fam was scared away from their place being burned away

wait, I thought the gov was trying to keep people from their land so they could have it

now theres a 3rd gang?

oh and the bad guys are worried about the senator

but one sez hes being taken care of now

then more of the baby a55 horse

he finds a fence break and gets out

but dog and skunk follow

and his rents do nothing

its like in pet semetary how the kid kept going into the road

in a rocky place, baby horse is seen by a cougar

and baby horse don't notice

it finally notices and runs

you know he wont eat the little horse

not in a 60s film

skunk goes for help and dog is too candya55 to do anything

somehow horses speak skunk and dad horse goes out

if u watched him then this could've been avoided

btw somehow this baby horse has outran a full grown cougar

so cougar traps baby horse but dog tries to save it

and gets his a55 kicked

then dad horse comes in and they kung fu fight

after reusing animation and bloodless violence, cougar is thrown off a cliff

but I think the dogs dead

see you in h-ll dog a55!

so dad horse picks it up by its collar and puts it on baby horse to carry back

yeah, that makes sense

so Justin comes home and sends the grade school girl to ride bareback on a horse to get da dr

this is more like a little house on the prairie ep than a western

btw the dad saving the kid from an animal was ripped off by the lion king and sorta in beauty and the beast

the girl prays to what looks like the stars not for the dog to bite it

and it works as he was ok the whole time

was she raying to an angel?

later the senator disappeared

and his vote was needed to do something

so the railroads might not link

and 1 guy sends the pidgin with message back from san fran aids

later on eagle place, Justin shoots a club off an ace of clubs

and says the girls dad was better

then the pidgin returns all loopy flying

geezer sez someones feedin da burd somethin

is that a drug reference?

so the message is an eagle image and da words san fran sicscko

also the skunk tries to steal the skunk hat to b0ne

so Justin says bye to the girl and it tries to be sad

btw justins horse is named rebel

and he got it from a civil war guy

I assume he was confederate

wtf around 58;11 in, the horse has solid green eyes

wtf is it possessed?!

then dae geezer sings about working

and its all cr-p like teaching a tree to bark

and has much reused animation

so at a foggy night, Justin arrives in soviet san fran sisco to meet his boss

boss sez on this mission, he cant get help as the guv cant let anyone know of these missions

he has to find a captured senator on a boat

senator has info on the bad guy cheeting people outta their land

he knows where the railroads will meet

and wants to buy the land to sell it for profit

why is that bad?!

what do you think people do on ebay?!

what happened to the free market?!

freekin commie a55 union!

oh and the senator might get wacked

btw we're like an hour in b4 he real plot starts

so Justin looks for info and goes to a saloon to get info on the boat

in da saloon a really Asian guy sings a song like the one baby jane sung about her letter to daddy

and this guy is shanghaiing people by putting them behind a curtain

i'm from the 80s/90s

I don't know what that means

1980s

not 1880s

so Justin starts a fight and everyone brawls

very minor violence

not as bad as loony toons

in the chaos Justin gets behind the curtains and falls in a trap door to a boat where knocked out guys are rowboated

he fakes being ko'ed and is taken to da boat

wait

why did they wait to wack the senator?

why not just shank his a55 and dump him in the ocean?

or grind him up and serve him as meat pies like sweeny todd?

btw I'm not sure but the captain either has shadows around his eyes or no skin there

in da boat prisoner place is the senator

b4 the guys take them out on deck to b0ne em dead, Justin and a swede wants to beat the captain and make him turn the boat around

I think this happened in the sega game last battle

aka; Hokuto no ken 2

but the lights are on in the captain place and they would be seen

so Justin shoots em out

why didnt they take his gun?!

so the crew are alerted  and he shoots out a new light they light

Justin beats up the boat people and swede goes for the captain

much reused animation

after they take out more guys, captain sends a guy to ice senator

oh and 1 guy shoots at swede

they have guns?!

why not use em b4?!

captain shoots out justins rope he swings on but senator takes out captain

they drop a life boat so the killers don't bite it

then head back

senator asks why Justin does this work

he sez; to protect the freedom of the country

like the freedom to buy and sell what you want??!!

that's one reason we left soviet England!!

I'm not saying wacking the senator is good

but he shouldn't have misused his power to fight independent citizens!

if I want something on ebay, I don't block everyone else from bidding on it!

that's cheating!

so after much reused footage of him riding his horse, Justin returns home

he tells the girl to go to sleep but geezer makes him coffee

how fair

dad; don't drink pop! eat healthy! (chugs beer)

Justin tells the girl the bad guys (who were the main enemy but only in like 55 seconds of film) were picked up

then geezer makes the dog, skunk and bird sleep outside

that's racist

also it rips off the flintstones

esp after the girl lets em back in

then credits with more reused animation and a western song about being a man

the end

honestly

I didn't hate it

it wasn't awful

just kinda j-rks off most of the time with filler

its like bad dbz

plus I don't like how they make big gov fighting private citizens look good and make the private citizens look bad

but the movie isn't unwatchable

the original animation is ok

better than todays cr-p

and yeah it gets reused, but I assume that was for budget reasons

its only like 80 mins and most people wont notice the recyclage

plus there ant many animated westerns

even though this is in California and the final fight is on a boat

its not the worst ive seen

was this a true story?

ah they'd put it on the history channel anyway

like 2001 a space odyssey and deep impact 

for the man from button willow 2 I want it to be 10 years later and the girl is a teen but still wears the same outfit. she hears word of thunderbird attacks near san fran sisco and goes out to fight it. turns out, theres a portal to h-ll in san fran sisco and the thunderbird is a daemon out to collect souls. and she must fight people possessed by its power. its also a 16 bit action/platform game like Castlevania or valis on sega genesis, super Nintendo and turbografix 16. She also has guardian angels that can save her a certain number of times per level or unleash a blast of holy energy as a super attack