Blood Dolls Review

Noye: I spel direct to vireo

Blood Dolls

this is my review on Blood Dolls from the distant future yea rof 1999(The ye th global civil war ended in Robotech)

Its direcref by one of THEM Charles Band who did Prehysteria!

It start body builder/Christian Nicholas Worth from  Scream Blacula Scream/The Terminal Man/The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!/Darkman, Jodie Fisher rom nothing I saw, openly midget Phil Fondacaro from Return of the Jedi/The Garbage Pail Kids Movie/Willow/B0rdello of Blood/The Polar Express/Land of the Dead/Quantum Leap/Sliders/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/Touched by an Angel, Persia White from Last Action Hero/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction/Breaker High, Matt Corboy from Jag/Malcolm in the Middle/Cold Case/The West Wing/Mad TV, an a lot of people not on back door, ais bag, soy boy, beta male, frooty booty, gendrr ofendr, Creator hater, soom bottom, hippie stonervegan peta tree kung fu based on plabts, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear wiipedia who denies Tartaria but thinks themoon landing was real

i never saw this bfpre but is giving on pluto tv and looks interesting

ater title and cretdis over newspapers of om cr-p an a fake head, we see 2 legal people coming to meet mr travis whos rich and eccenturic

he comes out in a clown make up which is base on fallen angles if you look into clowns and circisus, and guy lawyer bumps into a midget he want to pet

rich guy has a bimbo rock band in a age and 1 shows her nips or a sec

wait the clown guy is the butler and the rich guy is in a ghoul mask an sounds southern confederate

he has the midget turns a knob to zap the bimbos and make em play a song about being dead

travis has dolls the woman sez look racist and he se he is and whines about his name in the papers over a billon doller loss over anti trust cr-p

he has cables wrap around the lawyers hands to chain em to the chair and sez 3 people caused his money issues an he wants em to do something of it, then presses a button an a drill comes up and goes in the guy like a carotoon spaying blood

he takes off his mask and has a tiny head like in beetle uice and sez cr-p i don get cuz hes too quiet

then its night and we see the chic whos Japanese in lacey black undies in a tube he uses to zap be like 2 others who were dolls now, then has midget zap bimbos to play a song

she turns into a doll looking like a bad double dragon cartoon character or evil lynn from he man

at a get together the guys who swidled travis of 1 billion dollers celebrate and travis watches on a spy probe and sees the guy is faking being a dumba55 but is really a genius like bush jr

the swindlers are onna go home and travis is gonna send in the dolls and Japanese doll ha a Rising Sun flag as a skirt as this is imperial Japan b--ch shes gonna go 731 on those maruta but for real for once

this blonde guy gets whipped by a SM chick who sez to use jamming devices and they bought the judge an federal prosecuter they bought off to win the case but both went missing

she thinks Travis iced em and also wacks people like they do and might go for em but they can use i to take out lose ends

The Travis wants toe dolls to go instead o the clown butler who's a bit jealous and the Travis sez clown butler needs a disguise and go after one of the other

in the mansion is this bada55 working out and a swordfish on the fireplace which will probably ice a guy and a guard on a monitor reading a comic and older guard tellin him off for it

da power goes out as does the back up and the security grid is down so bada55 sez call the electric company i hope not on sesame street with Mr Rogers

1 guy fakes being the power company like in monopoly and goes in the gate in a van even though the powers out

fake power guy goes in and the guards clear him and bring him to the basement to b0ne or w/e

btw this is widescreen and colored 90s style

bada55 boss yells at guard for not having the power back yet and the p-mp doll is in his room

he looks like bruce willis had a kid with dann florek

he notices something in there and get attacks by all 3 dolls with Japanese one having 4 arms like Mortal Kombat

he get his head busted by a barbell and 1 guard gets iced by the electric man

1 guard comes in to see boss bada55 dead ad the toys get him

electrictail guy puts on clonw face and sez its good to get out of that costume as he sees his real self as fake like a gender offender or furry

he next day the spy thing like in star wars ep V, blonde guy talks with a blonde chick about a guys being a booty boy and SM chick is listening in on a wire he's got an tells him what to say on an ear piece

oh they meant the boss baa55 who got it and his guards and blonde leaves as sm chick insults him and Travis and clownface listen in an notice he said somethings coming up

sm chic bugged big boss's house that takes a photo every 5 seconds and send sit and they see dolls going across the floor in several fames

clownface shaves the travis whos thinking what did he mean coming up

so a group of guards or w/e are in a elevator and get iced offscreen after the bimbos play

SM chick has blonde guy in SM tied up like its a Go Nagai Manga and whips him saying she knows his office is bugged and she's got dirt on a guy with a young girl but is gonna ice him

she's not known to virgin i mean virgil i think travis and not the Dante's Inferno one and she's a mastermind behind the cr-p lie T R Edwards in Robotech II The Sentinels

the puppets come for the house but a wall of fire blocks em and SM chick wans to meet Travis as he wife of a competitor

p-mp doll gets touched up by virgil and clownface sez they checked the perimeter and found theres no way in besides a full scale thing and virgil or travis or w/e sez they probably planned for dat 2

sm chick comes to meet the travis and Travis sez she don't need 2 be searched as shes not on a suicide mission by body language

he sends clownface to find her vehicle and travis meets her and he sez he thinks her husband, i think blonde guy is admirable and skilled but she thinks he's a buffoonm

he sees husband didnt send her and she asks for a peace as both he/travis might fall and husband knows of the dolls

he sez he's nothing/an emptiness like the never ending story II and a guy sez if u want power, love nothing

he promises not to harm her husband and midget shocks the bimbos to play a song

she drives back saying travis is he most briliant guy she met but the toys were in the tunk

blonde is in a wire sm thing and she seems to be into the travis

she signed all docs to get power and had enuff of him and leaves him in piano wire where the p-mp turns the crank to tighten the wires into him til he bites it

sm chic was watching on a hidden camera like Megatron a follows the dolls on a vector graphics thing and traps em

she contacts travis saying the dolls are after her and he orders em as their creator to leave her but she got it on tape and plays it back for him

she has the toys in a cage and sez shes going back to her maiden name with blonde dead, ms duray, who he knows of that guys trial

she has tape of the dolls at boss bada55's place and him admitting the dolls are his and the dolls and he sez he'd contact her soon

he laments falling for her a bit an her using him and sees he's got nothin to lose

after having midget zap the bimbos again, sm chick talks to dolls saying he's probably planning and to women, surrender is a way of winning, she gets a call and sez she looks forward to see him

the travis tells clowno shes coming here not a public place and wonders if its boldness or a trick

she comes and this is kinda deep and layered like sherlock holmes or death note but worse effects

she sez she came cuz you gotta preserve excellent things and brings his dolls, a vhs of the killing and dolls at boss, and audio tape saying he confessed, and a signed confession saying she iced blonde

but she offers herself to him and he sez he liked the her that was nice, also she's a woman and offers to have his kids and let an idiot b0ne her for 10 years for money

both are smart and can do well teaming up and rule the world as she's the best he'd get

she copied his signature on a marriage licence and if he wants to ice her, do it quick cuz both of em are busy

busy in h-ll, or h e double soviet califonia!

she offers to sell him her cr-p for 1 doller and he dont carry money and clownface has 50s

he gets 1 doller and the travis sez clowno is his religious advisor and an ordained minister and they have a weeding

they get hitched and he takes off his mask to show his tiny gary busey head and has the dolls knock her down and tie her up

he sez his life has no joy and he dont like whats under her mask

he sealed his domain and has poison gas pumped in as everyone but the bimbos and sm chick likes it

Japanese doll frees the bimbos who beat out midget with a guitar and buff sm doll blows the door with a looney toons cartoon bQmn

the bimbo band gets out with the dolls and drives off

then clownface sez hey have another ending besides the girls getting away and others biting it, and he prefers this one

than alternate take has em beat away midget and clowno comes in, opens fire at the ceiling and tells em off

the band plays the wedding march and travis marrys sm chick then for the kiss, sees his small head and isn't grossed out

she wanted to hate him but sees he's more than a man an both are marvels/monsters and meant for each other

she loves him being a monster and more than a man and kisses his tiny head

now the world really has someyhing to fear

then credits to a 90s song as we see the actor names over clips of em like SpaceBalls

on set sarah geller, like buffy?

post production don adams, like Inspector Gadget?

marketing steve blum, the digimon malcontent?

The End

That was actually not bad

Its a cheap direct to video movie, but had some good parts

The story was good and both protagionist and antagionist are bad guys

its smart people going after each other and has some good ideas

yea the effects are cheap and its a bit cr-ppy

but its not trying to be Gone With The Wind or Birth Of A Nation

For what it was, i liked it

Its better than it should be

its got that late 90s feel like System Crash on YTV and good music

The blonde genius with a devolved head is like T R Edwards in Robotech II The Sentinels and his game of wits is not bad

Glad I saw this one, its actually pretty good an is better than you'd think if you look deeper

Oh and its connected to the Demonic Toys franchise but I think its not a sequel or w/e

For Blood Dolls 2 I want it to follow the good ending and the evil couple is gaining shares in companies to take over and control the media to make their puppet candidate win and rule from the shadows, also they have a new group of dolls they send to wack those who get close to the truth. Its also a 128 bit game on Sega Dreamcast, PS2 Xbox and GameCube where you play as the puppets and go on missions to ice people.