jesse james
this is my revieew on jesse james from the distant future year of 1939
its got tyrone power, henry fonda, randolf scott, johhn carridine and jlon chaney gx
its directed by Henry King who did The Snows of Kilimanjaro and was produced by Darryl F. Zanuck
i saw thing years ago on tcm but dont recall much
so after credits to souther mosuc, we get text saaying after the alleged civil war, railroads came up to uunite the nation and f'd people
then the railroad guys are jewing the american people into selling their land for peanuts or they;d call the gov to force em
wasn't this what the south fought against? oppressive gov taking from the people?
same with george washington 80ish years b4 them
they also beat on teh families of the owners to force them to sign their land away
so they come by the jasse james fam farm and chat with jj and go to his hom to gyp her outta her land
btw this is in proper fullscreen
she dont consent to signing and when he gets b--chy, her sonn frankie stands up to him and tries to attack him through a handshake
so frank slugs him away and jesse pulls his american rights firearm on them
jesse kicks his yankee a55 (literally) and when jesse turns his back, the guy tries to scythe his a55 but gets cappeda nd sent to h e double california
the carpet baggers flee but mom faints and jesse gets the people of town together to fight the soviet union (vs confederate)threat
so th handshake guy survives with a hole in his hand (which will make jj-0rkin off interesting) and wants to charge the james boys
meanwhile, jesse wants to get a lawyer to help em fight for their land and a gguy comes by to say the law is after em and the railroad owns the courts and gov
so big gobv comes for the james boys but they gone so the gov throws a grenade in their home and blows apart their mom
so this chick tells the james boys their mome went to the big plantation in the sky and they want to avange her
wait, wasnt it the pinkertons who torched the james home and iced their fam?
so jesse goes to the railroad guys and blows em back to h e doubel new york as they claim it was an accident
like in the dark knight how two face was wasting those involved in the chicks wacking
so theres a bounty on jj's head for this and later, the soviet railroad is fulfilled and has f;d through stolen landd
but a dark avenger rides the shadows and carjacks the train
remember the train level in star fox 64? that was annoying.
then again, in yugioh zexal, that busty chick used a train deck and it was pretty good
so the james gang jacks the train riders and after the train goe on, the guy on it sez it was jesse james s "no one else would have the nerve"
yeah, that'll hold up in court
so back at the james cave, jesse returns and hsi gf sez he otta stop but he hates the railroad too much
later a gov guy comes by and he lets the gf know if he catches jj he;s gonna blow his head off j fk style
later gf tries to get jj to surrender but he dont wanna go to jail and she is bummed
they decide to get married and go to a church where the Priest is glad to help him as the railroad f'd him
So jj turns himslef in and hopes to get a fair trial
in jail he is met by the railroad prez and later, the prez sez hes gonna fix the trial to get jj strung up
so the lawman trys to hellp jj and finds theres a plan to get him out
the boss gets a note saying if they dont free jj, then frank will bust him out
so boss gets ready to sstop the rescue mission and frank stops by
lawman says this is all because of the railway boss and walks out and frank and a bunch of guys hold the guards and boss at gunpoint and free jj
the guys the lawman hired to eputie were jj's allies
they make the boss eat the paper he wrote a note on and escape as the cops chase em
they should have stuck it in his bakdoor!
they getta way and the reward goes up to 25 000 $
so jesse's girl poop sout a kid and jesse cant be ther as he's a wanted man like lancer from robotech but less cross dressing
she is giving up hppe for the future and hopes to bite it as its easier than dealing with things, bu when her kid cries, she says she didnt man it
jesse hears of his son but also that the marshall is at the wifes place and he goes to see them, but queers out after a whhile and tells his homeboy pinkie to tell them cr-p
he goes on to jack banks and trains and the gov sez tehy'll pardon any of the jj gng who betrays jj and give them a reward
later the wife of jj gets a newspaper but can't read so this guys reads it but dont tell her
later the guy (who;s kinda scuzzy) talks to jj and sez jj is being too reckless
jj tells him off and sez he''s da boss and if scuzzmo dont like it, he can find another gang
hsi bro sez jj is going too far and taking too many chances and tteis to talk sense into him and comfort him
later, a guy warns a bank the the james gang is heading to there to jack it
when some of the jj guys go in to da banck, they are opened fire on and they book it
jesse took a hit and they get to the river and cross but he hides in the wood int eh river
the papers report that if he is alive, he's f;d and his woman hears it
a guy tells her jesse changed and is the bad guy now
jessy returns to his woman and young son who's 5 now and finds his boy dont know anything about him
he wants to go away after he gets better and hugs his fam
the papers say after 3 months w//o jj sightings, he's iced but frankie sez he gled the country
where'd he go? soviet canada?!
fighting sasquatch and eating live moose!
later scuzzmo stops by and tells jj that frankie sent him to get him and go to da banck
jj wants to go to soviet california, probably to poop on the floor and get/spread aids and dont consent to going with them
scuzzmo wants to get jj to do cr-p but jj's kid and homies is making nose outside and playing jesse james where the kid gets capped
after da boys go home, j takes his kid inside and is gonna catch the afternoon train to soviet califronia
jesse goes doen and scuzzmo caps hhim and runs off
then we have a memorial of him and a guy says good sh-t about him
then they read his stone saying he was 34 and iced by a traitor
the end
that was pretty good
nice classic wholesome clean cool film
it tells the story and does it well and even though its not fully accurate about the evil pinkertons and their assault on freedom by the cokmmie union gov, its still pretty good
it don't mention jesse jame's civil war service in the confederacy but i guess thats for the prequel to do
i liked it and it has a nice feel and atmosphere to it
its only like 101 minutes and goes by pretty decent and dont drag
for jesse james 2 i want it to be 15 years later and the 2nd civil war is raging. edison has made steam powered suits that use gears to enhance a soldiers speed, strengthn and defence and the 2nd confederacy is using jesse james as an icon to call to arms those wronged by big gov. also its a 128 bit dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox game where you fight through several missions as jesse james jr and take on yankee strongholds to bring down their black reign and free the people from oppression.
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