Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Moneyball Review

note; baseball is a55!! so I spell a55!!
this is my review on moneyball from 2011
its got brad pitt, Jonah hill, phillip Seymore Hoffman, ronin wright penn and chris pratt
its also got Takayo Fischer who was in a buncha 90s shows
I've never seen this b4 and don't care much for brad pitt nor do I even like baseball
why am I even gonna watch this??
nyaaa, i'll give it a chance
it got good reviews after all
but so did silence of the lambs and that movie s-cked!
it starts with some baseball footage and as quote from mickey mantle
its set in the distant future of October 15 2001
1 team has more money
then title
then its night and a guy is in the stadium
is this a horror movie?
its brad pitt from se7en and a few minutes of/the cover of 12 years a slave
I think soviet new York wins the base ball world championships
brad pitt is malcontent and the radio sez soviet new york blows more money on b ball and steals other good players
and brad pitt is losing his best guys for better pay
its his job to recruit em
but they don't give him enuff cash
later the bradmo gets a call saying another player got bought out
so its like Yugioh how better decks have more expensive cards
but a good duelist can win with his faves
like me never using pendulum cards
later brad is in a meeting and the people there don't get how cr-ppy they are
is this another movie about losers?
I hated bridesmaids
lol brads name is billy
like that guy who got b0ned in jail in midnight express
ohhhhh billy!!
after he gets a guy for his team he goes to a meeting and wants more cash
he wants a player they have
wtf they pronounce costa as KOH STUH instead of COSS TUH
its like pasta
not dough ma
after getting nothing from em he meets jonah hill and he teaches brad to rethink how he sees things
then a youth has to choose between college and a job playing baseball
but both s-ck
later its revealed the youth was billy and johan would've bought him in a later game
and billys name is billy beane
like bruce banner, peter parker, scott summers, reed Richards, ect
billy reunites with Jonah and he's done 47 of the 3 players billy wanted him to do
now its 51
is this guy a machine?
is he the matrix?
Jonah gives rainman level math and data to calculate how to choose players
he figures theres 25 guys they can afford cuz others don't see em for what they can be due to flaws
sorta like bashing a cool playing sega genesis game for low power graphics
like when playstation 1 came out and people jumped into polygon cr-p
cuz of that, ristar was underloved and pulseman/alien soldier never came out in soviet America
is this movie a baseball version of the sega Saturn?
underestimated due to flaws but really good?
place bets now.
so billy chats with a guy and then has a meeting
he suggests a buncha guys who seem to s-ck
later he chats with some chick but I wasn't paying attention as I was looking up the new dragon ball super manga
after listening to some chick (maybe the same one?) play guitar he has flashbacks to the 80s as a player
later a guy b--ches at billy for trusting a fat nerd over guys who scout b ballers for years
later they get their team and have a new game
but billy brad doesn't watch and goes to work out
then chats with that guy who b--ched at him and its phillip seemore Hoffman
then we get some radio guys chat about the math thing and call it money ball
later billy and johan talk about canning 1 player
johan don't wanna but billy tells him to
also billy gets hojan to join em on the team trips
later he eats with his daughter about his job or w/e
later he talks with phillip seeyone hofftem at a game who wants to play the team his way instead of the way it worked
it 's out
billy goes tommy Wiseau and throws a gatorade tank
later billy trades some guys against the advice of jonha
Jonah tells the guys they got trades like Digimon cards and billy tells phillp setyom hofftam
later johan tells the players baseball math and billy tells a black guy some peace making
later the team is doing better
I think
I don't know baseball lingo
later he and johan work on getting better trades for their guys
he trades players and gets cash for em and new players
its like the Zelda trading sequence where you get a useless item and trade up to a great one
and he's talking to multiple teams for building hype to get his trades better
but after getting a new guy he has to let 1 go
you know how in racing how when a horse breaks its leg they cap it?
imagine that for baseball
well ken griffy jr, we gotta put ya down
then the team does more wins
later hes driving and his wife calls on da car phone and sez hes doing good
but he wants to get a new player
but then hears on da radio something happened and goes to da game
something happens in slo mo buty i'm not sure as I don't get baseball but according to wikipecdia the team f's out and nearly botches the 19 game streak
but they win and make it 20 games won in a row
later billy is bummed as if he wins with their cr-ppy team and budget it'll change da game and they migt get fired or something
later billy b--chcakes talks to a guy about guy hiring a guy everyone hates
guy sez he won with 260 000 $ what the yankees did with 1.4 million $$
and he don't like it
he wants billy to be his manager
and he'd be the highest paid general mills manager in sports
but he don't wanna
later johan shows footage of a player having hit a home run and not knew it
later billy listens to a song his daughter made 4 him
wtf when I was looking away and waiting for the ending to happen it ended with text I missed
oh and apparently according to wikipeddra they lost but I don't thin it showed it
also hes hired to some team but turns it down and the team later wins using his moneyball style kung fu recruiting scouting stuff
the end
how do I feel?
its an ok film
i;m not the target audience nor did I pay much attention but what I saw I didn't hate
its not bad and I like historical films
its not violent or lusty and theres no tacked on love plot
its not bad
I didn't hate it
watch it if you can
for moneyball 2 I want the moneyball style to be a big hit but after a while, it starts not working. the teams want billy but he refuses. so they send roided up players to capture his kid to force him to play ball. he then has her hide and takes on roided up players with a flame thrower and an axe and has to hold em off until they bite it from over roids. also its an action game on sega genesis, super Nintendo and Atari jaguar where you play as billy beane and take out big buff ballers on every floor after your daughter.

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