Thursday, March 14, 2019

Spider-Man 3 Review

note; I spell comic book
spider man 3
this is my review on spider man 3
it got mixed reviews but I liked it
its directed by sam raimi who did Hercules, xena and evil dead
its got tobey McGuire, kirstin dunst, james franco and tohphoer grace
it starts with a recap of the 1st 2 fims in a cgi web
its also got bruce dallas howard, j k simmons and bruce cambell
good music by danny elfman
he did batman and spiderman
I loved spiderman in the 90s with the 60s and 90s cartoons
I even liked spiderman unlimited
he's the best hero to make a video game off of
long range move (web ) close range attacks (punch/kick) and high jump A B C
he cant break walls but has cool foes and is strong but not overpowered
my 1st game I really played was spider man vs the kingpin on sega genesis
I got all 5 spiderman games on sega genesis and beat em all
even maximum carnage which I beat in grade school but people today struggle with
he's just a cool character and hero and has good stuff based on him
so its soviet new York and spider man is doing well
gwen Stacey is in his class and is smart like him
but sm is planning on marrying mary jane
shes an actress now and his homie harry hates him for icing his dad the green goblin
harry infects himself with the goblin roids to POW ER UP like altered beast
later mj and sm are chillin in a web made by sm looking at da sky and making out
a meteor lands and this black j-zz comes out and hooks onto sm's scoter as he and mj go home
meanwhile, this escaped convict sneaks to his daughters home and visits her
his wife busts his a55 over being a thief and killer
his kid is ill and needs cash to fix her
aunt may gives sm her ring from uncle ben and tells him of when benny asked her to mary him
later harry attacks sm and they have a cool air fight
eventually harry gets hit and busts his head
sm saves him at the hospital
meanwhile, the escaped convict runs and winds up in an experiment in new York about DE molecularization and is obliterated
also harry survived but lost some memory
he don't recall the last 2 movies and about peter being spimderman or responsible for his dad being iced
harry sez sm and mj r his best friends and he'd give his life for em
Wesley snipes: i'd lose my head if it wasn't attached
guy in total recall: blue sky on mars?
the next day convict is sand and pulls himself together as a sand man
and somehow his clothes are part of him now
later mj comes by sms place and sez a critic hated her play
sm trys supporting her but she gets all b--chy cuz its like cr-p her dad said
viet dad flashbacks
sm goes off and saves a crane from f--king out and killing a buncha people
wtf james Cromwell from babe and Jurassic world fallen kingdom and W is gwens dad
and tphpher grace is eddy brock whos dating gwen
not sure that was in the comics
oh and spider man saves gwen as she falls out a huge a55 building
and eddy wants to be the new spiderman guy for the daily bugel
so ed gein trys selling j j jamesons a photo and gets in over sm by sucking up to jamesons a55
also ed wants the job sm wants
so jjj will give it to whoever gets the best photo of sm as a crook
I want a speider man episode where j Jonah jameson reunites with his estranged daughter jenna
also in this movie jjj's wife is still with him
man tohpher makes eddy look sleazy and slimy
later stan lee tells peter "I guess 1 person can make a difference" and its wonderful
later harry still has powers and skills and reflexes and mj gets canned
later ed and gwen aint dooin 2 hot
sm is given a public ceremony thing by gewn and she smooches him on the face mouth like mj did in the 1st filme
mj is offended and sandman convicit flies through town and attacks a bank truck
how does he move?
is it ki?
I mean he's flying around like in dragon ball gt or something
sm fights sand man and gets f'd
he saves the bank truck drivers and sand man gets away
later mj is disgruntled by photos of sm mouth smooching gwen and sm goes to a French restaurant to propose to mj
bruce campbell from evil dead is the waiter and is likable despite playing a Frenchie
mj is too malcontent to be happy and gwen comes by and meets her and this pushes mj more
she cant take it and starts cutting her wrists while crying tears of blood as good charlotte plays in the background
jk she just gets b--chy over the kiss and books it b4 he can propose
oh f
toby McGuire is a vegan
peta rated him the worlds sexiest vegan in 2002
not much competition
I mean he's not gross or anything
but I would not consider him sexy
even if I get turned queer
hes like a nerd
later a cop tells sm and anut may that the convict who broke out was the real killer of uncle ben
somehow peter has a flashback of it despite not being there
psychic spider?
peter puts a gee haad on sand man and chex his police scanner for info on him
btw the cop sez sand man broke out 2 days ago
a lot happened in 2 days
and we got another half the movie to go through
interesting twist
1st harry wanted revenge on sm for killing the goblin
now sm wants revenge on sand man for icing benny
at night the space j-zz gets sm and he wakes up hanging from a building in a black costume
sm sees dr curt Connors who sez the black goo is a symbiote and he shouldn't let it get on him
sm goes after sand man and smashes eddys camera after hes a smarta55
sm fights and uses water to flush away sand man
also he gets darker in real life and more p-ssed off
sm tells aunt may sm killed the guy who iced ben
but may don't approve and sez spider man doesn't kill
like in the room
lisa; johhnny got drunk and hit me
mom; johnny doesn't drink
also shes all; revenge makes us bad and benito wouldntnt want it
mj goes to dinner with harry and smooches on mouth with him
she runs out and harry drinks
it breaks his brain and he gets his memory back and sees his dad norman Osborn in a mirror tells him to f spider man
later mj goes home and harry as green goblin tells him to do something if she wants sm to live
she meets him and breaks up with him
good ref to her acting skills being crirtisized
later harry meets sm and sez hes the other guy mj was seeing
franco is good as a sleazy slimy bad guy
and he was tommy Wiseau
sm puts back on his black j-zz costume and faces harry
harry pulls a sai from ninja turtles on him but sm counters
they fight and trash harrys place
btw the rich bad guy vs poor hero was similar to superman with lex and Clarke
sm taunts him about his dad not liking him and harry throws a thing at him
he dodges it, counters and it blows in harry's face
bad a55
like Kenshiro in Hokuto no ken
later brock has a photo run of spiderman stealing
sm tells eddy he knows its fake
ed begs not to out him but sm outs him
then a montage of sm being a cocky p-tz
flirting with chix and jewing j Jonah jameson for a staff job
also the infamous shot of him dancing and crotch thrusting in a black suit
later sm goes to a jazz club with gween and mj worx there
sm plays piano while mj is meant to go on and does stylish dances with gwen
its so lame its cool
did the symbiote give him pianist skills?
gwen is disgruntled he used her to show up mj and dumps his emo a55
sm goes to mj and fights off 3 bouncers
in the chaos he nails mj and her lower jaw flies off with blood gushing out like a firehose
nah that's if he did evil dead
she sez "who r u" and he sez"i don't know" and goes to church
eddy is there as he's a catholic
but he asks God to kill Peter Parker
that's like in Saturday night live I mean fever where this italiano asks the church for permission to kill his unborn kid
sm pulls off the j-zz as the bell sound weakens it and eddy somehow sees sm is peter from like 400 feet away
the symbiote gets eddy and he are venom
so the symbiote is a thing on roids or drugs right?
later aunt may comes by and sm sez hes not ready to marry mj and he hurt her
btw this film is super widescreen
like half the screen is black bars
may believes in him
later venom meets sand man whos alive still as hes like immortal or w/e and seduces him to killing spider man
later venom captures mj like in spider man vs the kingpin and sticks her in a taxi on a web 80 storys in da air
sandman hold off cops (like they could do anything to venom) and venus says "stop us if u can sm"
sm goes to harry who's ace is all melted a bit on 1 side and asks for help to save mj
harry don't consent and his butler only now after years of nothing, sez Norman's blade wound that iced him was from his glider
why he never said anything for years and let harry rot in vengeance is not explained
sm goes to save mj and venom f's him
they fight in free fall and mj jumps from her taxi to a web to avoid falling
sm fights sandman AS venom is j-rkin off or w/e
then he fights s,m and venim as v hold him down and sndmn hammers him
but then harry comes out finally and saves sm
they team up and fight em
goblins pumbpkin things are a good counter to sandman as it burns him into glass
they save a falling mj and harry takes down sandy mann
then the final boss; venom
he ties up sm and beats on him with metal
b4 he can shank sm, harry jumps in and is knocked into poles that clang and hurt venim
venim goes to shank sm but harry jumps in and takes the hit
sm breaks free, and uses the poles to make a cage to trap venim
he bangs em and the sound lowers its points til sm pulls eddy away
the symbiote stands up all bada55 and sm hits the bars to make sound
he throws a goblin pumpkin at it to nuke it but eddy jumps in and they both go to h-ll
the sun is up and sanfman sez hes sorry
he only shot uncle ben cuz the gun was in his hand and his partner surprised him
he needed the cash for his daughter
sm forgives him and its actually really good
sm and mj say sorry and bye to harry and he goes to h-ll
the story ends with the sunset and then them having a service for harry
why are gwen and her dad there??
sm sez our choices make us who we are and we can always choose to do whats right
is this a pro life movie?
then the sm goes to see the mj at her azz club and they hug
the end
then credits music that sounds like an 80s film
that was pretty good
I liked it
I don't see why others bashed this film
it had heart, good themes and cool effects
its got good effects and the story has a good flow to it
it doesn't feel like 3 hours with adds
its better than that sodomingo who was in the amazing spiderman movies
he said sm sewed his costume and called it "feminine" but then said he meant it "in a good way"
my grandpa was a tailor in soviet Poland and had 5 kids
what about those italiano guys who make fine ialiano suits for the mafia?
no one calls em feminine
but this was a good film and its too bad they rebooted it for that cr-p with that candya55
for spider man 4 I want for spiderman to go into space to fight the planet that the symbiote came from after more symbiotes arrive and infect people. he gets a new syber suit by oscorp with sonic generators and the ability to render him invisible to symbiotes and goes to their planet. its run by dragonfly people that are enslaved by the symbiotes and he has to lead an uprising against em to free the planet before they take over the galaxy. also its an action game on Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo and Atari Jaguar where you fight your way through the levels and some are stealth or beating captured sm villains who were symbiotized and gotta fight to the symbiote core to beat the symbiote hive mind. Oh and they are all psychically linked and he one from sm 3 he killed sent the all spiderman's info from reading his mind.

No comments:

Post a Comment