Sunday, October 18, 2020

Ferris Buellers Day Off Review

 Note; i spell bad but i never skipped school

ferris buelers day off

this is my review on ferris buelers day off from the distant future year of 1986 (The year the fist of the north star and transformers movies came out)

my ents and cool 90s aunt liked it and my rents worried  i''d pull a ferris bueler

but i was a good kid and the other kids in my class were c-ck suckers in the 90s

it stars matthew broderick, alan ruck, mia sara, jennifer grey, jerrery jones, ben stien, kristy swanson, and louie andeerson apartently accordijng to wikiepdea and was directed by john hughes

so it starts with ferris faking being sick and his sister knowing hes faking but hhis rents buy it and let him stay home without a beating

why does nferris have a brittish flag in his room?!

is he a commie?!

so afteer they go he admits to the audience he is taking his 9th sick day and gives tips on how to ake being sick

hes malcontent he dont got a car and is skipping sto avoid a test on european socialism as he dont care

yah but when stalin comes to your town to take you out back and give you a 45 calibur  suppository, you'll care

so ferris calls his home boy cam whos got aids or something and cams  kind of a loser

the school head rooneycalls and tells ferris's mom hes against ferris and wants to hold hom back but mom ont buy it

tthen ferris  hacks the school and changes his records to say he's been out only 2 days

so ben stein gives a boring economics thing and word spreads that he's biting it and needs a new kidney

wtf, this is based on a real guy who skipped 27 days and the dean hunted him

so ferris is the most popular kid in school and helps em a lot like he's king arthur and rooney wants to make an example of him to show breaking the rules gets u f'd

so ferris's gf slone gets word her grandmaa bit it annd whhen roonie is gonna call, he ets a call from solnes dad

thinkng its a trick, he sez they need to show the body as proof and insults him

then ferris callls andd sez hes feeling sick andwants his sister to bring over his missed assignments

roonys look of horror and listeningg to ferris as the music plays and he looks at the call waiting thing is perfect

seeing he f''d up, he sez sorry but it turns out the dad is really cam faking it who sez he wants her out alone but when ferris tells him to change it, 

cam sez he wants roony there and ferris kicks him and after hanging up, cam b--ches a while and ferris has to fix the situation

he decides to usse cams dads prized ferrarri mustang which is loved more than his family as he's got a car fetish and probably b0nes it

they plan to drive in reverse to take off the miles and pick up slone wjo is being comforted by roony who's not a bad guy annd just wants to be a good headmaster

ferris is in a  hat and shades and coat and makes out with slone which makes roony think they are inbreeders (But this is chicagio and they are open to other orientations)

instead of taking da car back, ferris and his droogs go through the civilized areas of chicago as cam rides on the inside of the car w/o a seat belt

the kids in school start a  save ferris hash tag annd collect monry to get him a new kidney from the black market

rooni calls slones home but gets a machine and the place they say tthey can be reached also has a machine

rooni knows ferris is in on it aand wants to f him up

ferris takes the  car to a garage wand this fat like guy gets it to take care of but reallly takes it for a joy ride

at home, ferris's mom coomes home to czech on him but seez a fake human (jinzo ningen) in bed hooked to a pulley system to rhe door and the speakes playing snoring

does ferris snore? if nott, it might be a tip, but it could bethhe cold

ferris asks sloan to marry him and cam b--ches about hs cr-ppy rents

so they go to a restaurant and ferris fakes being abe froman, the sausage king of chicago but the waiter dont buy it

fwrris calls 9 1 1 butanother call comes up and waiter goes to another phone

on da phone, sloane sez shes callling for abe annd desribes ferris and when waiter chex the other line its  cam sayinf hes srt slones dad of da police

so they get the restraunt andferris takes shots at the fruity snooty frenchie waiter

ferriss suster chooses to out ferris and ferris tells how  cam s--cked at home and  likes being sick

srster goes to tell roonie but hes out and at the restaurant outside is reffeis dadand they sneak by as hes tallking to clients

rooniey goes hunting for ferris's a55 lie skinner in tthat simpsons ep with quiny's nephew and sees what looks ikee ferris from behind and sez "yo a55 is mine"

but its really an 80s chick and she squirts him with pepsi

as he cleans up, he misses ferris on  tv at a baseball gamme

spoiler; baseball is gay!!

you watch ants a mile away playing catch

so ferriss's suster cuts class to go home and roony goes to ferris's house  and parks in froont of a hyrdant

at da door he gets a recording of ferris but as he dont give up, the tape replays and tips off roony hes out

roony loses a shoe iin the  mush and turns on a sprilnker and stuffs it under ground by mistake so it'll f their home

meanwhile, rtboy is joyriding chicago wiith his  homie(is  this m c miket g and dj sven?)

rooni finds a doggy door and is gonna break and enter but a big a55 black a55 dog is there and chases his a55

so ferry and his homies go around soviet chicago like a museum having fun and staying outta the slums as the gangs and junkies rule those

btw  i'm watching this is reall full screen so no black bars eatng half the tv

thenn its some german american prode thing and in the cab, camm is malciontent and  they see ferrs'ss dad in the cab net to em

they hide and slone flirts a bit with dadso they tickle herand dad thinksshes nuts

tthen ferris ditches his  homies and sings a german sonng with ggerman chickss in the parade

spoiler; ferris's actor is polish!!

so cam gets bummed as feerris has things going well 4 his a55 amd cam s-cked

then they sing a beatles song and evveryone dances

soo a flowerman brings flowers to ferris's place and roony feeds em to the dog to kill it andsister cimes by and finds the jinzo ningen

roonty sees this and comes in anndwhen they meet ttsne kicks him out and runs upstaiirs thinking hes a deient

at the garage, ferres sez anyone who'd nail him wouldn't go to a parade and they get da car back

sister calls  da cops and the cops say they hope her bro is ok and shhe goes mental

she uses the intercom to say she called the cips and has crotch rot as roony runs after his car being towed

ferris  notifys cam the car has over 3000 miles on it and cam screams for half a min (which i hold my breath through) and cam snapps

at ferris's place a h00ker comes by sent by ferries homies but sister closes the door on her

ferris sez how fhe sees his future with cam and his  lifes gonna s-ck

they go toa pool and cam goes in to suicide at the botttom and ferris pulls is a55 out

remeember in Degrassi Next Gen when that loser Cam committedv seppuku in the green house? Is Ferris Bueler where they got it from??

so cam returns to normal and at the police station forr making a"phoney" cop call, sister meets charlie sheen who's in there for drugs (What a Shock!!) who gives her advice saying not to worry too much about ferris

he suggests talking to ferris bueler and she don't like it

ferris is in with junkies

so at cams place they try hooking the car on a thing and having it run in  reverse but the meter wont go back and ferris wants to hack the gears to hand roll it back

cam has had enuff of this sh-t nd wants to take a stan

then kicks the car a bunch as his dad loves it more than him

man this ferrarri mustang is a real cr-pmobile as it dents fro a few kicks

is that where out run on sega got it from?

eventually the car flys out the back window and smashes

if it were made in Japan it woouldnt f--k out like that

cam can't take it and jumps out the window and gets skewered on a tree branch and slides to the bottom and making moaning sounds as his guts arestrung out

jk really he resolves to deal with his dad for once

so ferriess mom gets sister and the dective se the starion is pulling foor ferris

sister is makng out withcharlie sheen and probably has aids now and they goo home

btw, ferris actor and sisterss actor were dating when filming this

making out with ur sister?! What is this?! Star Wars?!

At least in Robotech Minmei and Kyle were cousins!

Just like Sailor Uranus and Neptune

so ferris se camss ggonna be ok and  makes out with sloane as good 80s music plays and realizes hes gotta get home and runs off

sister nearly  hit and runs ferris and mom is looking at her papers and they race to get home 1st

also ferris nearly is seen by his dad and goes through other opeoples properties

ferries gets home 1st but roony is there and has finally caught him

he slugs ferris out and starts b0ning his butt as ferris wakes up and screams


really he's gonna hold ferris back and sister comes out and seez thanks for driving ferris home from the hospotal and sends ferris upstairs and sez she has his wallet so if roony reveals he caught ferris, he'd get booked for breaking and entering

the the dog comes back and b0nes him

ferris makes it back in bed in time and his rents come in thinking he''s been in bed all day

this is like the one time the kid gets away with lying and chheeting

then as the film ends, roony rides the bus and sees Rooony Eats It and Save Ferris as the Duffman song from the Simpsons plays

The end

then ferris  sez "the movies over, go home"

that was grand

classic 80s fun and heart

good music and feels

nice mild story thats not too overcomplex and has good flow

i saw it a bunch b4 and it holds up

For Ferris Bueller's Day Off 2 I want cam's dad to ssnap and have chopped him up and cooked and eaten him. then he goes to the school to take out ferris. There, he meets Roony who upon hearing hthey both hate ferris, wants to team up. But when Roony finds cams dad wants to aste him, he kicks him in the crotch and warns ferris. They escape to the slums of Chicagge andgotta fight their way through junkies and gangs to avoid the berserk dad and fight him every now and then as you head to Ferris's secret base where his arms dealer contsct has mech power suit armor to finally finish the dad. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Ataro Jaguar and GBA where you play as Ferris or Roony.

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