Thursday, February 24, 2022

Murder By The Clock Review

 Note: My sopelling is clock accuraTE (WTF DOESA THAT Meab?!)

Murder By The Clock

Thisa is my review on murer by the cpocl friom the distant future year of 1931 (100 years before Optimus Prime was revived as Star Convoy in Transformers Battlestars The Return of Convoy)

it stARS COMMIE Irving Pichel from The Great Ruipert, Regis Toomey from Night of the Grizzley, Blanche Friderici from Sadie Thompson/The Hatchet Man and A Farewelkl To Arms, Walter McGrail from Reefer Masdness/The Grapes Of Wrath and The Son of Monte Cristo, Martha Mattox from The Wicvked Darling/Torrent, and a buncha 19900s/1800s guys i never heard of

Its directal by Edward Sloman who did nothing i seen and is based on a novel and play i never heard of

after crediys to 30s music we get a graveyand anbd this fam isn';;t allowed to stay after 6 pm

more people come and its with as rich chick who's fam owned the land and gets more rights

her son is kinda ret-rded and afraid of corpses and sghe forces him to put flowers at her mans tromb

what a b--ch, hope she gets b0ned dead by a big black dog

there's also an older lady who is nice to the son ands son shows off how strong he is by liftring a huge tomne slab

ladty tells off b--ch for being b--chy and how she['s secretly there to see if her horn she put in the tomb to warn if she's buried alive works

b--ch is phobic of being burried alive as her uncle had it happen and asks lady not to let it happen

imagine if to majke sure, they get a big heavy rock and mash her head in with it b4 putting her in there?

they leave and the guard tallks with a new maid and asks what happeneds to the redhead

at home b--ch is told by maid the nephew called and b--ch is b--chy over nephew being after money

she orders maid to lock trhe door and not let nephew in and in a car nephew is comming with his woman and needs money

art dinner son plays with a knife and thinks u can kill someone witnh it and mom sez top putr it down

son sez a painting has a knife and she sez its a sword he used in a fair fight

mom talks to her brainally disabled son about what he'd do if she bites it and he seems to wanna ice people with his hands

is he inbred?! like charles and andrew?? the queen married her relative!

nephew comes by and b--ch mom dont like him and neither does son

sjhe gives him brandy and b--ches at him marrying a wioman he dont want as soon nearly strangles him from behind

but mom sez she'd give him the inheritance as her son is too devolved and nephew is the one she thinks is less bad

later nephew talks with his wife and she needs money but, wait, i think its the lady, wait, its the wife

sjhe dont wanna get money from him and he gives her it and shes her a statue he made

wait, i think shes someone elses wife and thats not nephew

so mom b--ch has her will drawn up fast and has her home to be nephews and his womans but her ret-rded son can live there so they don't put him to sleep or w/e they did in the 30s

nephew has to ask his wife but mom sez no house no money so he consents

nephew teklls his wo man but she is p-ssed that she only gets it when b--ch bites it which could take a while

nephew offers to borrow money but she dont wanna live on another man's money

she wishes b--ch would go to h e double soviet california tonight and nephew thinks of it

at night, btw thius is in proper fullscreen and in nice b/w, the b--ch goes around and looks at her fam painting as a big black shadow woith arms out comes up to hrer

she screams offscreen and the lady hears and calls the cops who ask her where son is and lady sez shes sure he had nothing to do w/ it

the cops think the mentally ret-rded guy did it as he wasn't gonna get the money as they they are racist against ret-rded p[eople

1 ddetective suggests nephew did it as he gets the money now but head cop sez it cannt be as they got an open and shut a55 i mean case, but meant a55

woman smiles but turns and sees son comming out and points the cops to him

head cop asks how son spends his tim and son sez he thinks about killing and he can use hs hands

he breaks something with his hands and the cops take him away as lady sez he didnt do it

head cop sends the guys home and sez they closed the case(which i see some holes in this from my years of experience of watching law and order)

but dectice sees that if son can snap metal, then why isn't the b--ches neck broiken but head cop dont care

nepohew is a nervous purvus and a lower talks with aid and they kinda flirt

so they put tyhe b--ch in the tomb and lady shows them the alarm that warns if b--ch is still aliove in there, which disturbs nephew

i like the scenary in here, its classic and stylish like those start of the 30s films

so the wife whos blonde choose trhis room thats connected to another by a balcony and blonde dont get along with lady

nephew admits to blonde he iced the b---ch and blames her for putting him up to it, but has srts huilt

he wants to confess but blonde sez if he does he'd get the noose

main chatrs with lower cop or guard of w/e he is and she misses the b--ch and guard sez shes pretty when bummeed and he likes it

later blonde goes too see the son and head cop sez theres no other proisoners as i giuess they were chopped up and fed to the poliece dogs

she manipuilates him into thinking she likes hima dn he wants to do whjat he thinks b0ning is to her

she tries to get him to ice nephew to be with her and live in the home with her

its like the story of Samson (or is it Sampson) fron the bible how the chick seduced him to get his eyes popped

she lets the devolved son kiss her hand and is grossed out by it and on her way out meets detective who was demoted cuz of her

she suggests doing sh-t to get him reinstated and kinda flirts with him but he sez her eyes seem like either genuiouses and killers

she has the driver bring her to her butt buddys place and plays the victim like her husband is a p o s candy a55 c-ckl sucker

she manipulate him by saying nephew hit her(i deed naat heet haa! aiii deed naaaat!) and butt buddy sez someone optta ice him

later the re-trded sopn gets out and by wescaping and the cops send a guy over to nephews place to check it out as blonde called em

its the guard again and i think its the detective, yweat i is, who is in the house to keep things safe

nephew goes back upstairs to write letters and detericlkve (or dick in 30s slang like dick tracy) looks around with blonde

she flirts with him cuz shes a sl-t and they hear a scream and upstairs they dinsd i mean find nephew i think dead in the closet

dick has guard ssend for more guys and sez theres finger marks on nephews neck

a guy, i think the ter-ted guy, runs around the graveyard and blonde acts all bummed but deick knows shes behind it as she made sure to be with him when nephew got it

this is like how the queen has daiana and chux other b--ches iced, but she didn't have to b0ne the hitmen

guard thinks its like a mysterty he read how a guy was tying his shoe and wa ssprays weith "liquid ice" and froze

that don't add up

wtf is liquid ice?! like ice fire??!

the dick sez the killers mind worksd like a =clock(like a clockwork orange?!) and everything was planned

a doctor comes in and is bummed he had to cut through dinner to come here

yeah f that corpse! he dont matter! my dinner dopes!

doc examines him and the nephew isnt ddead dead, just mostyly dead, so doc is junne i mean ghonna inject addrteneline into head heart muslkcesx

blonde sneaks around and by the passage son came from and meets her butt buddy who sez he iced nephew for her

she denies wanting him iced and tells him to getta way and shows him the hidden passage that leades to a graveyead

is that whewre nightmasre b4 xmas came from i mean got it cvrom?!

she dont want him anymore but he wants to go to da cops but she sez some cr-p and he runs off as she goes back through the passage

doc revives nephew who's still out and blonde screams seing thing this

sher claims its the shocl of him being alive but when dick asks if shesa glad hes alive she spazzes out saying "let me alone" like its the big green dub of dbz

she's takes to bed and son comes back and goes in tghe graveyand passage

doc givbes her a dink toi make her sleep butn sher fdakes seeing blood on the carpet and trhows it as he's looking and fakes taking it

son comes in the hidden passage and meets lady and asks where blonde is and she sez upstairs wirth her revived husbnand and nephew i eman son wants rto ice nephew despite being cousins

dr sez to have a close friend be by nephew when he wakes up and as blonde is asleep, the maid has em calls hisn "best friend" who's name is in blonde sbook: the butt buddy

butt buddy dont wanna come and dick goes out to see burtt buddy

dick coems by this butt buddys  place and meets his vallet who was a crook but butt buddy gave him a chance

dick knows butt buddy is in love with blonde as theres all this art of her around and a knife is missing

sick calls guard and is k o ed by vallet who hangs up

guard is an irish which would be indian if this was made today and he calls the cops to check it out the butt buddys place

butt buddy is there in the b--ch house and worruyes if nephew will know anything when he wakes up and nephew wakes up a bit

nurse goes to get doc and butt buddy locks the door and nephew wakes up

nephew sez he'd turn butt buddy to the cops for trying ti ice him but buttr buddy draws a knicve like hes yami marik in the uncut yugioh

he's show iun the hand from behind and a guny runs off andf wait its a cop who capped him and is still there

doc checks on nephew and they hear the tomb alarm and b--ch walks by the window

nephew blacks out b4 telling em who did it and bites it

they go to da tomb and butt buddy slaps a cop and runs across thew balnony as coppps follow

in the tomb is no b---ch and dick proves blonde is not sleeping b7 tapping acane until she complains and asks for a smoke

nowadays that would be chrsonic

she tries flirting with him and he sez he found the cane on the balcony and dont know weho did the hits

she comes on to him and he sez hes in love with hsi work and notes shes in a nightgown and suspects she didnt take the sleep water

he takes the blanket to analyze it for sleep water and butt buddy coimes in and wants her to smooch him

she dont want it and butt buddy reveals that she was behind it all and she screams for help

he sez no one is in earshot and he loves her too much but son comes in and stranges him as she sez she loves son

she grins like a supervillian as biutt buddie bites it and dick and guard find the hidden passage, which is shot with a moving cam and is pretty cool

they find b--ch cold as ice and plaster and lady there and dick puts it all together

he sends guard to check the passage and son is coming toward blonde to b0ne her but she calls for help and the dick and guard run

she is carries of like in the cabinet of dr caligari to the tomb and dick and guard see the butt buddy with a snapped ne k

in the tomb the devolved son tries to b0ne her, kinda like in murders in the rue morgue the following year, and blonde pulls the toimb alarm

devolvo starts making out with her and getting on her and dick comes in and slugs him off

he looks like mr hyse dfrom the 30s dr jeckyl

dick gets him from behiund and cjhaok holeds him as cops come and the other cops come and cuff his a55

blnmde is alive and outs devolvbo for icing the butt buddy and el devolvo is taken away

later cop is with blonde whos going off after all the wackings and sez shes botha  genious and killer but cant prove it

he knows she had 1 hit aftyer another to cover it and wonts to know who's next and she sez him cuz hes the only one who went against her, but she loves him for it and sez he loves her

guard brings in a plaster mask of the b--ch and sez she moved the bodyy and make the mask to scare nephew to h ee double england and didnt have time to move the body back

sdhe sez its lady who could have dfone it and he sez her butt buddy made it as hes a scupltor and she got her fingerprints in it when it wasn't fully dry

guard takes it to hq to test the prints and she tries to seduce him to go orff and live in sin

he sez yes and they'll go togethr, to the police station!

the end

that was pretty good

nice who done it

good twists

they shjow whos' behind it but it keeps your interest as you wanna know how they nail the perp

good filming and editing and the acting is kinda proto but nicew

i think my mexican friend who likes android 18 would like this blonde cuz shes kinda thicc and he likes blondes

its a nice film and has some good camera work that makes it seem cool

Glad i watched thius. Its worthy

for Murder By The Clock 2 i want it to be a trial and focus on te cops convicting her in a court of law, also we see more men she seduced and ruined and her past comes back for her. its also an 8 buit sega maSTER SYSTEM, GAME GEAR, NES, GAMEBOY, TH16 AND 1TARI JARUAR AND LYNX GAME WHERE YOU (get f'd caps lock! suck my 7 inch uncut slavic man thing!) go around various levels through dangerous 30s cities to find the guys who were ruined by her in the rotting cities of fdr,s america and fight the commies after you for being a cop.

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