Wednesday, February 16, 2022

The Texican Review

 Note: I spell American like the most American state: Texas!

The Texican

This is my review on The Texican from 1966 (20 years befiore the Sega Master Systemn camwe out)

its directed by Lesley Selander who did nothing I saw

It sdtars AudIe Murp[hy who turned down Sergio Leone's A Fistful of Dollars  as its just a copy of Kurosawa's Yojimbo, Antonio Casas/Antonio Molino Rojo/Aldo Sambrell/Frank Brana/Víctor Israel from the good the bad and the ugly, Gerard Tichy from Doctor Zhivago and the 60s King of Kings, and many european mexicans

I never saw this b4 but audie is good often

so it starts w/o logos or credits and audie and his goon come to this guy in the hilly wastelands and says that his good is an escaped prisoner he took back

audie has a price on his head in America and they are at the river boarder and if he goes there he';s getting arrested

then he rides off to music and credits and title

then its edited to look dark and these guys talk about 1 getting out of the area and 1 being a newspaper editor who wants to get rid of luke starr

the non reporter dont wanna do it and go but luke comes in and confronts emn and caps the newspaper guy

kinda like how those who the gov don't like has em silenced in commie candy a55 cluntries like england or canada

the other guy is let go but is capped as he rides off then fixes things to look like they iced each other

later its day ands the mexicans play a game of throwing rocks and firecrackers or something

then these 2 mexicoes get in a street fight and the bigger one beats the othewr one out

audie helps the beat up guy and they talk about a town that's f'd up and violent like soviet california

in f--ktown audies bro got iced and he's bummed and audie is gonna go back despite having a mexico chcik who don't want him to go

he wants to avenge his bro and rides across thhe river and to a sh-t town bar and turns down a poker game

he goes on and talks to a guy who wants to buy audies horse but audioe dont consent

then a bounty hunter and friened comes by and wants to bring in audie as he needs the money for his wife

they draw and audie caps both of em and his bounty hunter homie survived and audie stops him from pulling a knife

bounty hunter warns audie others will be after him and audie leaves him weith a shot leg

later these guys test their might by shooting cans and luke starr walker comes by and sez audie is coming and he ran audie out w/o a gun once b4 and now wants to wack him

but instead of doing it himself, he sends his minions and they go out and open fire on him in a hilly wasteland as he books it

he eventually comes toi an empty place with saddles and gets out money but as he takes it; a chick comes out wih a shotgun

she finds the money and its 40$ for a 10$ saddle and he sez he had to ride bareback as he left in a hurry

she is nice to him and lets him buy the saddle and he goes off to f--ktown and its fancy

he goes to a hotel for a room and the sign in thing is full of dust

after he signs in the owner recognizxes his name and is freaked out and trys to get him to leave but audie dont wanna

owner sez lkuke skin licker won't like it as he owns the hotel and audie goos oofn as everyones afraid of him

audie confronts luke star and starr leaves saying "if you want someone to ice ja, find someone else"

1 guy called frank grady like the names of guys from the dub of yugioh 5Ds, says to meet him in half an hour to tell him of his brother

in his office the frank sez audies brother was the reporter iced in a "gunfight" and how reporter didn't use guns

audie don't care what happens with the f--ktown as long as he avenges his brother and a chick walks him out and they chat and flirt

after audie goes, luke ringo starr comes by and knows chick and i think owns her as a gf or butt slave

audie rides off and checks the place his reporter bro got iced aNDS FINBDS A DEVOLVED LOOKING GUY ALL SPAZZED OUT before he bites it

audie senses something and runs out as guys fire on him and he hhides behind cover, thern after a cmmerfcial, he's in town after dark and meets a guiy he saved who now sellz booze and works with luke starre

they go into the bar and see chicks dancing and 1 throws a clkothing piece to audie

audie talks with boozer and how luke starr was p-ssed at how reporter said something about him in his paper

b4 he tells audie what it was, boozer coems to a poker game and this goon comes to tell audie not to f with the ringero starr or booze guy and audie tells him off by saying "put that gun away or you;ll lose an arm"

chick and lukeo strarte tal;k about how she wants her piece of her dad sstake in the salloon but luikeas dont wanna make it wasy and have her as his woman

she dont consent to being b0ned by him and he's jealous of audsie

boozer is buummed that he's lozing at poker as he won last time and knows the badds are cheeting

chick stops to chat with audiuie about luke starr and a gunshot goes off

1 goon sez he was cleaning his pistol and it went off (like vronsky in anna kjarenina?) and we see that he iced boozer

audie and chick walk home and she sez she dont want him to be with her as he's a gunman but they smooch abnd like star sees it

she tells him her name so its not like seinfeld with that chick and audie goes to the shop his brother worked in and looks around with no words like a silent film

a cat jumps out like a bad horror movie and b4 he fdinds anything, lukio starre and his goons come in and they talk and audie walks out

later its day and the saddle chick comes by and chats with him about how she does LEATHE WORK which nowadays seems x rated

she's nnot looking for a man (la blue girl clip: oh so yoor a lezz bee ann? no won der you get prett ty h0r nee a round me, just kid ding!) and rides off

they she goes to see his brotehrs fiance and talks with her about him

later he's by the river and rides in ther waste lands like hokuto no ken and chick from b4 is out of control on her horse cart so audie stops em

man he gets a lot of potential chicks, he's like Sonic or something! Maybe Yuma or Jack in Yugioh!

later he sees a guy take out the booze guys body and follows but a guiinfight chase breaks out

the chased goon gets away and audie goes to the saloon to ask luke benit where the booze guy went but luke sez he aint seen him in a while

audie then fights the gonon from b4 and kicks hgis candy a55 but a big ghuy grabs and starts bear hugging him

audie breaks open and his guts spoill on the floor in a pile

jk really he nails him in the face with salt and beats him through a window

then audie talks with frank about how he and his bro helped people but the ones they helped were worse than the ones they saved em from

kinda like ww2 saving thre chin ese from japanm or the soviets from the germans, as both winning sides went on to be worse than the ones they fought

audie in his his room meets as woman who was the woman of the guy iced with brother in the alleged gunfight andf that he was really trying to escape luke starre

she wants to save audie and larry starr or w/e hgis name is sluygs out his goon for displeasing him

rthe next day he faces chick and auddie over thinking they b0ned and audie chats with lukas over how if ayuduis dont get outta town, he's dead meat

audie meets saddle girl and then chats with a guy ove rthe wacking of his brother and the other guy

he goes to meet the coroner and chatrs with saddle chick over this evidence of a gunbelt with the name of luke starr on it

then audie faces the lukas geroege aartn guys in a dust storm and wastes em in a no damage run

then goes into the salloon and faces starr who denies having sent em and is playing poker

he joins in and shows him the gunbelt thing and sez he found it under the body of the gun who was iced at the start

but a guy behinmd audie in the window has him at gunpoint and takes audie captive

audie slugs out the gun holding him and chick throws himm and gun so he caps him and another guy

btw thhis is in widescreen and colored

audit caps like startr and he falls through the banister like in all westerns and it looks like its cr-ppily made as it just fell apasrt

chick offers to go with audie and awhen he sez he wont, she sez she'd wait for him

they smooch and he goe off on a new advenmture like Adol Christian in Y's

The end

that was pretty good

nice story and acting

good style and filming

good writing and chartacters

well done western that has good pacing and doesn't drag

For The Texican 2 i want him to have been caught by a pack of roaming cannibals in the wasteland and they have their rituals to prepare to offer him for sacrifice to their cannibal god, so he sends a prayer to ask for help and an Angel arrives at the town and has the chick who loves him come after him to save him from the cannibals weith a holy guin that never runs out of ammo and fires holy blasts. also its an 8 bit Run and Gun game like Zillion 2 on Sega Master system, Nes, TG16, Game Boy, Game Gear and Arari Lynxc and 7800 where you play as her and battle to save him from the cannibal territory.

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