Friday, February 5, 2016

Adventures Of Robin Hood Review

note; my keybords cr=p so ters typoes(also im typing kleft handed and fadt)
adventures of robinhood
this is by review on adventurwes of robinhoof
the errol Flynn one(the good one)
in the distant future year of 1191, king richerd left to fight in the crusades
but his evil brother johnny took over and oppressed the prople
it keeps gsaying; normans and saxxons
but I don't know whT EITHER ARE
the normans are the bad guys who oppress the saxxons
so iassumwe the normans are the brits and tne saxxons are the americaNS
SO this guy shoots a deer and the normans are going to execute him for it
as the king owns all the kingdom and its creatures
sounds like big guvernmint taking over
but robin hood saves him from the deviant Englishmen
who I assume would've b0ned him dead
then theres a feast with the royals and nobles while the citizens starve under their high taxes
was this movie made by republicans?
also they laugh at how they hang (and maybe b0ned) all those who cant pay tax
the prince joghnny wants him exeuted
not even a fair trial too
then robinhood comes in with the dead deer
after some dialogue, he meets marion(not the one from double dragon)
the effeminate ruler lets robin eat at his table and theres some witty dialogue
I think he wants to fatten him up so he can b0ne him
robin freely speaks out against the johnny and how the taxes he's collecting arnt for freeing rickard but for his own gain
robinhood declares hes gonna bring down the evuil ruler and an epic 1930s fight breaks out
he outfights, outmaneuvers and outshoots the elite guards
this wouyld be a great videio game
he gets to the door and tells the guards theres a "traitor trying to escape! shut the door!"
nowadays he'd be dark and brooding and emo and gay
but this is the 30s so hes blight and fun and cheerful
also it would be really violent and have nude scenes and swear words
after a long chase he gets away into the woods and to meet with the oppressed later for talks
meanwhile the king decrees all robins stuff is to be taken by the guv and anyone who helps him is to be executed
later rbn hood had a stick fight withsome dude]
after a good battle he is knocked into the water and they become friends
the people then spread word of a speech byrobin hood
he gives a good speech to team up to fight the oppressors
also they mention blinding, beatings, earloppings, and I think branding
man the english are evil
just like in supernannty
as the story continues, the English become more ruthless and execute more saxxons
I assume they are also b0ning them
they mention
a hot iron in the eyes of the tax dodgers
that's kinda dark
if this were made4 today it would hasve torture scenes like in hostel or saw or the human centipede 2
but robin and his men are fighting back
latwer robinhood meets a big tough priest
after a lighthearted prank, he offers to let the priest join him as they need the Lord in their lives
after a sword fight (a priest using a sword? bada55!) he lets the priest know they have good food and he joins them cheerfully
theres a lot of fat jokes in this film
but its before people wee oversensitive
why's it always a fat dude and never a fat chick?
a bunch of my american friends like fat chix
esp 1 in texas(not you raigeki man)
later marion and some soldiers are bringing a treasure wagon
but the robinhoodmen ambush them and get the treasuer
also they capture the head soldier and marion and her angry b--chy brittish soundibng defender
marion doesn't like seeing the men happy but robinhood starts to win her over
\at the feast she dontwanna eat (ANOREXIA!!) BUT ROBINHOOD WINS HER OVER(oops I forgot to uncapslock the thibng)
he shows marion the poors and homelesses who lost their stuff to the big guvs high taxes
also many were mutilated for not following the unfair guv
she thinks hes getting something for helping others and being hated by the elites
but he aint cuz hes pure and innocent
se understands that hes the good guy and robinhood sets his captives free
the sherrif  top have an archery contest to lure robinhood out
the prize is a gold arrow with marion giving it
I recall hearing on a bible showe that the term "saxxon" is from "issac's sons" and refers to the decendents of the 12 tribes
although in riki-oh (the books) it says some of the 12 tribes came to japan and made them the inheritors
so robinhood ges to the contest wearing a black thing
its a target thing whwere they aim at a b\ullerseye and whoever doesn't make the center is out
they continue until therews most out
theres 2 left and its even
but robin shoots his arrow through the other guys arrow in half (WHICH MYTHBUSTERS PROVED WAS IMPOSSIBLE) AND wins
after he gets his prize he's captured
hes charged and gets 0 trial
he gets the death penalty amd is to he hanged
I assume in the real version theyre gonna b0ne him dead while cutting pieces of him off and feeding them to him
maRion goes and gets help from robinhoods men
she found out cuz her English defender was b0ning a guy in robinhoods team
I gotta say I love the bright vibrant colors in here
far superior to todays cr-ppy digital colors
so they get robinhood to the gallows and the people open fire on the guards
then they free robinhood and excape
man. robinhoods got skill
its like shinobi or ninja gaiden or strider
later marion sez shes in love wirth robinhopor
then he shows up and sez thnx 4 helping him
after some talking they make out
if this film were made today theyd be b0ning
he offers to take her back to his dirty forest but she sez shes gonna stay in the castler to keep tabs on the elites for robinhood
later the elites are in disguise and an inn but a high rank norman bishop sez he was robbed by robinhood
the bisdhop suspects the elites are bad and leaves
later the elites say they think king rickard is escaped and around but has no army
so they plan to icxe him so they can keep power
marion overhears but they know she overhears and johnny confronts her
ohh, Richard is her guardian
johnny reveals he knows she helped robinhood escepe the noose
wait, its not johhny
shes arrested but her English defender overhears
shes accused of betraying her norman race but she defends robinhood ad accuses johnny of trying to killrichard
so theyre gonna execute her in 48 hours
too bad she cant have... ANOTHER 48HOURS
then Beverly hills cop 2
while I was typing that smething happd and there was a knife fight
later robinhood stops a guy for his cash
but loyal to rick so they become friends
later the knifed buy (who I think was the staff fight guy) is found stabbed
hes taken back and reveals that johnny wants to kill rick
robin offers to find him but the guy he just efrended reveals himself to be batman I mean rickard
later the bishop is being held at knifepoint to help trobinhoods into the castle
johnnys gonna become crowned king and theres a big ceremony
the bishop talks with johnny and en rick reveals himself as the true king
ten theres an epic g rated 1930s swordfight without blood or wounds or limb removal
after robinhood kills the sherrif in an epic battle, the bad guys surrender
johnny is banished from englind and undoes his rules
then gives equal rights to normans and saxxons
cuz that's how it really happened in real life
tn robinhood is made an earl and gets to marry marion
then he goes off to b0ne marion
the end
I gotta say erroly Flynn is really likeable
you just cant hate him
too bad he was into alcohol
his weife died like in the 2000s
but he did in the 60s
they could've had decades of love had it not been for alcohol
I never touch the stuff
I can chug a whole pop bottle in like a few hours
if I did booze I'd probably not last long
for advenures of robin hood 2 I'd like for the normans to be uneasy with the equality with the saxxons and start an uprising against Richard for being a "race traitor" to the normans. they also want robin hood executed and start atacking towns who don't agree with them to draw him out. seeing how the pendulum has swung to him being in in the elite and the bad guys being the "oppressed" he decides to step down. but when its revealed that the leader of these malcontents is prince johnny who the normans are still loyal to, he decides to execute every norman loyal to him until hes gotten to and dismembered johnny. the rest of the movie is him killing normans in really creative and gory ways and with awesome 80s/90s effects like the thing or Robocop or total recall.

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