Friday, February 5, 2016

Risky Business Review

note; my keyboards cr=ppy and im 1 handing so expect tpoes
risky business
ths is my review on riaky business
ive never seen this film b4
but growing up in the 90s I saw that underwear scene parodied often in kids shows
ooh! tangerine dream did music!
they did a cr=ppy soundtrack to the 1911 dantes inferno release
the film starts with tommy wiseau I mean tom cruise telling his fantasy about being in a p0rn0 or something
he wants to take a shower with some chick
too bad it isn't tommy wiseau
I like him more than tom cruise
then hes having a card game with some smokers
too bad its not yugioh
I bet I could kick his a55 at yugioh
my chaos fallen angel deck does fairly well in tournys
I came in 2nd last week to a volcaic deck using a pretty good draw engine
later tommy is talking with some grungy looking kid about almost being with a fat chick or something
but he chickened out cuz she was "too big"
quite a lot of my internet homies like fat chicks
then his parents go on some trip to get away from him so they can b0ne a lot
couldn't they loc him in the basement for that?
after failing at making a tv dnner he does the famous underwear dance scene playing air guitar and listening to a song about how modern music isn't as good as past MUSIC
but 80s music was barfacilious homie
blicketee black!
the next day his talking with his schoolmates (who are all white cuz it wasn't against the law not to use black actors in everthing back then) about college and jobs
later he has some friends over and they start b0ning
then he drives a car at night aan gets in a drag race
then its the next day and his homie who sounds like thast guy from american dad and is reading obscene newspaper adds
hes trying to seduce tom cruise to b0ning people hes not married to
but tom resists
so the fried calls this wh0re to come ovr to toms house
then eats the number out of the paper so hecat call back
couldn't he just hit redial?
later than night a big black guy in a dress comes over
he calls the friend ad he refuses to come over
then he lets the big black guy in and after some talking (and no ONSCREEN b0ning) h leaves and gives him a number
later he calls that number and its got some danger music and a dark room and flASHINGred light
the music is pretty good in here
later that nightthis woman in high heels comes in and they b0ne with a lot of wind
I assume they were pooting a lot during it and this is a metaphor
the next day shes still there and they talk about the house
and she wNTS 300$ for 1 night of b0ning
and that's in 80s money
but he only has 50$ so he takes out his bond from the bank
when he gets back shes gone with his lamp or something
they meet up with her at some restaurant and they don't talk to her
as they leave she runs after them and goes in their car talks
then a guy with a gun comes after her and they drive off
he was her p-mp
then hes chasing tem in a car
after a chase on an empty city (they should've went through a construction zone) he talks to his parents on the phone the next day
turns out she quit his group and owes her money for taking care of her and paying her clothes and medial bills
tommy goes to school and she steals from the house a lot
I was reading about the friend who was in american dad (he was booster in jingle all the way(the one in the parade))and there for a bit and missed some but when I looked back the p-mp is at his place and the girl brought a malcontent wh0re who also left him to toms place
the h00kers say they work for tom now
then the girl gets him to do drugs
this is like that cartoon allstars to the rescue thing where that kid was on drugs and Saturday am cartoons save him
she suggests he becomes a p-mp and leads her and other girls
she reveals she left her home when her stepdad was b0ning her and she became a h00ker
also she left her brother behind and hes in school
then his dads car rolls down a hill and falls into the ocean after resting on a creaky peer
the next day they take it to a car shop
then he comes in to class late and doesn't get a nurse note cuz she wont buy his cr=ppy excuse
it screws up his record and he fails some things
all cuz he called that h00ker
then its night and he goes to some seedy part of town and talks to the h00ker
its all done with only music and to talking
then she gets him into h00kering and he makes a comparison to capitalism
better than socialism with its inevitable oppression and nevr actually working in any place without coosing irreplaceable human lives
one guy said
communism is like a man breeding with an ape it works great in theory but was never properly implemented

then tom becomes a p-mp or h00ker or w/e and starts making illicit money
and he turns his parents home into a wh0reh0use
and theres a buncha teens partying at there waiting for a chance to b0ne chicks who just b0ned a buncha GUYS
this is why aids spread so fast in the 80s
everyone was b0ning too much
hen a guy from a college comes by and interviews him
the try to talk but deviants keep anting to b0ne I the room theyre interviewing in
his marks are good but not good enuff for that high rank college
so he says some informal speech, puts on some shades and in a cig, and gleefully says hes going to an average college
this is Illinois?!
im from around there
except I was from a civilized area
I hear much of that place is slummy and has crime
esp in the 80s
then his rents call and his gf keeps wanting to b0ne on a train
the rents are nice and care for their son
they don't know how low hes sunk
then the next night tom and his gurl b0ne on a train to 80s music as a degenerate watches
but they drop him off at a stop and keep b0ning
I forgot to mention the college guy b0ned a buncha gurls
the he comes home and te h00kers ave sgtolen everything in the house
he calls her but is the p-mp and its revealed he too the items
later he buys back his stolen items and gives him back the item the h00ker stole for 300 that he dnt have
I assume hes gona use him as a male protstite to pay him back
both as revenge and a power thing
he gets it all put back just a his rents come home
the item has a crack in it ad his rents get made and want him to work off the cost of a new one
also he got into the college the guy was interviewing him for
then hes having lunch with the h00ker and its revealed the whole thing with her was a set up
I think
she denies it
later that night they talk about having another evening and she says shes only got 20$
I assume hes becoming a male prostuiitue
the end
for risky business 2 I'd like for tom cruise to have become a big time p-mp and have had been with thousands of girls. he's living the high life and has worked his way up form protsuiute to p-mp and now rules the city's vice business. but then it all comes crashing down. he finds out he got AIDS from being with countless women over the last decade. and he decides to take revenge on humanity by trying to infect the whole city with AIDS by b0ning every one of his girls and lowering prices as he wont need money where he's going. also theres a straight laced honest good cop trying to bring him down and is basically a man version of angel from angel cop but is also a good irish catholic and wants to end tom cruises dark reign

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