Thursday, February 4, 2016

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Review

note; my keybowrd is kinda awful. thers gonna be typoes
gentlemen prefer blondes
thos is my review on gentlemen prefer blondes
ooh
its fullscreen
good
I hate those black bars
it starts with some chicks singing about love
sorta like Robotech
the title seems like something someone would say while arguing which sailor scout is the best
hmm
theyre singing aboiut marrying a rich guy
sounds like a prophecy about this centuries marylin Monroe; anna ncole smith
after the song, the blonde wants to have some guy come back to her room
this is getting 18+
she has a diamond fetish
sounds like that cutey honey villain
she plans to marry the boyfriend who gave her a ring
they plan to go to Europe for some reason
also her boyfrinds dad doesn't approve of her
hmm
the blonde seems to be a bimbo
just like with that singer in Robotech
and this Olympic team is taking the boat to Europe with the chicks and the boufrirnd
and the team is gay for the chicks
and the dark haired chick is only into handsome men
this is like sailor moon
then some Olympians come in to party with the dark haired chick
this is getting 18+
and the boyfiends says that any scandle would screw up their plans for them getting married
then the dark haired one sings som song to the Olympians
I assume theyre all b0ning in the book and this is the movies way of cleaning it up
also the blonde sings to her boyfriend
I assume theyre b0ning too
he seems uncomfortable
maybe hes turning gay
then the boyfriend leavesthe ship and it leaves
sorta like Robotech when they lefy for that  planet in the sentinels
later the chicks talk about wanting a husbans with money vs one whos hot
then theyre at the pool and the dark hair ia surprised they get to bed by 9
then abunch of guys in almost speedos dance and do gym moves
I think this movies trying to turn me gay
its like a lady gaga video
but less hermaphrodites
then the dark hair sings about being not in shape
later the blonde gets the waiter to get some rich guy to sit at herr table for dinner
then when thedark hair girl tries to get the team to stay up past their bedtime and meets a geezer who has a diamond mine
she tries to keep his diamond thing under wraps but the blonde finds out
some rich guy talks with the dark hair but realizes he was looking for the blonde
then the diamond guys wife comes in and shes covered in diamonds
she shows them a diamond tiara but the blonde thinks it goes on the neck
then her and her husband leave and the blonde makes a fake tiara out of a cup and some string or w/e
later the chicks come in wearing yet another dresses
hey keep changing dresses
where'd they keep these?
then this guy that the blonde wanted to be with from reading about his name comes in, and hes 9
later the blonde finds the rich guy who likes the dark haoired one is rich(he says he clips coupons and she thinks couplons are like money)
then the blonde dances with the diamond guy and wiggles with all the guys watching
this is getting 18+
later hes talking to her about Africa and the dark haired girl scares him out cuz the guy the dark haired gril likes is taing pictures of the blonde and the diamond guy b0ning
they plot to capture the pictures
while the dark haired girl and the rich guy ae dinnering, the blonde snoops through his room
she ets locked in and tries to get out th indow but her hips and buns are too big to get through
the kid from before comes by to help her cuz hes gay for her
he covers her with a blanket and hides under it
then the diamond guy comes by and after some comedy she gets out
thinking the pictures are in his pockets the chicks plan to get him out of his clothes
this is getting 18+
they turn the heat ep and get sleeping pills into his booze
he cant handle his alcohol
they check his coat but no pictures so they decide to check his pants
this is getting 18+
they spill water on him and get a guy to take him to lie down
they get the film and get it developed
its the blonde and the diamond guy b0ning
she gives them to the diamnd guy and later askes for the diamond tiara she has
I just realized this whole movie takes place on a boat
its like Friday the 13th part 8
then the rich guy comes in and takes out a tape recorder with audio of the blonde talking with the diamond guy
then the dark haired girl comes in and mentions having b0ned him while he was spying on the blonde
then the blonde comes in and the rich guy tells her not to get the dark haired one involved in her schemes cuz hes gonna bring her down
then they go to europe
wile being riven around, they want to buy more clothes
whats with women and clothes?
after getting clothes, they go to a hotel and are met with th diamond guys wife and wants her tiara back
the diamond guy denied knowing of it and went to africa
and the boyfriend was told of the blondes things and his cash to her ended
then the chicks sing about being low
then it appears they become night dancers
I assume they were b0ning for money in the book and this was the way they cleaned it up
the boyfriend returns and the blonde makes it look like hes the bad guy for not supporting her unnfaithfulness
then theres a stage show and theres a human chandelier and all these women in big pink dresses
I assume this is a live p0nroe in the book
then theres a thing of the blonde running from men and turning them down in the stage show
and she sings about liking diamonds
she has a fetish
after the show the cops come in and the blonde cant find the tiara
her new boyfriend comes for her and they decide to get him to pay for it
wait
its her old boyfrinds
he wants to break up but she takes him into her room
I assume theyre b0ning
this is turning into Nami SOS
manwhile at the airport the rich guy who liked the dark hair finds the diamond guy
he wants the rich guy to give the blonde a message about him making excuses for his screwing her up
later the dark haired gurl comes in disguised as the blonde and wearing a fun coat and showing off leg
she tries to seduce the guy whos accusing her of it and she takes off the coat to show some anime outfit and dances/sings the diamond song
all the frenchies in court enjoy the show
the judge is gay or something since he doesn't like it
then she comes out to her real self liking the rich guy and he returns to her side
then the rich guy(revealed to be a P I) gets the diamond guy arrested
hes brought in and the tiara is returned
then the boyfriend and his dad decide to let him marry the blonde
I assume they were b0ning the whole time
after some confusion about whos the real blonde, the dad turns against her
then the blonde wants to marry the byfriend and she uses logic to get him to turn around on the issue
shes revealed to be smart but hides her true power level to get men to like her
she then spends 3 mins with the dad
I assume theyre b0ning
then theres a wedding
and the chicks marry their love intersts
the end
for gentlemen prefer blondes 2, I'd like the diamond guy to return from prison and then to Africa and invite the girls and they're husbands on the assumption of a money diamond deal. but its a trick as Africa has degraded and its a slum of violence and crime. wanting his revenge, the diamond guy gets them in the center of the city and leaves them to die in battle. fortunately, the girls and guys are trained in dance-fighting. and they battle their way to the boss tower in 8 levels of beat em up action through the slums and ruined buildings in this up to 2 player sega genesis game where they fight the diamond guy and his wife in a diamond plated power armor suit.

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