Sunday, February 7, 2016

Rebel Without A Cause Review

Note; might have spelling mistakes
rebel without a cause
this is my review on rebel w/o a cause
I hear its one of tommy wiseau's fave movies
I loved the room
I even met tommy wiseau
he gave me a positive vibe
theres something special abouyt that man
hes got positive ki or something
gross
its super wiodescvreen!
half the screen is black bars
but its got dennis hopper
from the super Mario bros movie and water world
it starts with james dean being arrested
he seems to be on drugs
wait
he's drunk
not much better
in degrassi next gen this guy did meth and his excuse was
meth? I thought it was blow!
not much better
its like
are you eatuing children?
children? I thought they were midgets!
that's still cannibalism!
then this girl is called a "dirty tramp" by her dad
was she out b0ning guys or something?
ah
she was dressed like a h00ker
she don't likwe her dad and is disgruntled and emo
this movie is like degrassi
not the good 80s degrassi
the emo sissy new one where everyone is f'd up
I actually relate better with the 80s degrassi than the next gen 00's one
although I was born in 87 and went to high school when next gen aired
 picked up by her mom and goes mental cuz she wanted her dad
james dean's rents pick him up and hes drunk
mythbusters proved that a slap in the face sobers someone up best
most of their myths involve alcohol, explosions or firearms
aka steven segal movies
so this kid named jon (like the Garfield guy) is arrested for shooting puppies
GOOD
I h8 dogs
we otta send em all to French Canada and nu ke it
so its revealed james deens rents just moved here and jim's malcontent
his rents taljk calmly and he freaks out
YU R TAY RING MEE AAAA PARRRRT!
just like in the room
tommy wiseau did it better
james dean seems like one of those tum,bler fruits who has 1st world problems and goes mental over small things
he needs a good beating
my great gramma beat the black offa my grampa
he lived to 94.5
everyone got beats in the 20s
now rents cant even yell at their brats and they get cocky
james dean beats up a desk and sez his rents move all the time to protect him
someone called him "chicken" and he got triggered
he wishes he had 1 dad he didnt feel confused and felt like he could belong and not be ashamed
I think he's got queer issues
but they cant say it cuz its the 50s
if this were made today he'd probably be queer
maybe emo and cutter
and have drug issues
and be going out at night b0ning people
and other degrassi things
the next day his rents give him lunch and send him to school
on the way there he talks to a girl about life
its the girl with daddy issues
then some cool high school guys come by in a convertible and pick up the girl
I bet they've all b0ned her
at school he steps on the school insignia on the floor and gets called out on it
why's it on the floor if ur not supposed to step on it>?
its like putting blood in a burger but ur not meant to eat it
later james den goes to a planetarium
they look at constellations and has jaden smith thoughts
he also causes disruptions
the kid who shot dogs is there and tries to help james dfeen
after a freaky apocalypse scenario, the show ends and the dog killer is hiding
also these cool high school guys wanna teach james dean a lesson for being a butt mo
I hate how most shows now are about the loser kids and the popular ones are the bad guys(esp blondes)
i want a movie about a sexy popular blonde fighting off the poor average girls and getting the hot blonde guy and they become king and queen of the military and nuke the poor places and the world is safe for the rich to walk the streets w/o poors killing them like batmans rents
one of the cool guys shanks james dean's car tire with a switch blade
james dean plays it cool but they make chicken noises
I with the room(cheep cheep cheep)
jim is almost triggered but he throws away his tire iron and the cool guy challenges him to a knife fight
if he took aikido he'd know how to handle himself
aikido is what a samurai does w/o a sword
james dean trys not to fight bit snaps when called chicken
hes really unbalanced if just hearing a word makes him wanna murder someone
a cop comes by and james dean gets the upperhand and hoolthe cool guy's neck
they then decide to meet at the bluffs for a death match
the cop trys to break it up and 1 teen makes Nazi refs
teens always compare anything to the Nazis
everyone they disagree with or don't like is hitler
once I was at mcdonalds with my yugioh homie and he said
I don't wanna sound old but I hate all these teenagers!
theres a reason we don't let em vote or smoke or drink or b0ne
but they do it anyway
later the girl has a disagreement with her dad
then james dean talks to his dad about doing something dangerous for honor
his dad tries to give good advice but notices james deans wounded from the knife fight
his dad trys to use rational thought and reason but james dean wont have it
james dean sneaks out while his dad's talking
little p o s
his dad needs to beat some sense into him
no more mr candy a55
we need hard a55 dad!
james deen needs to go to mili\tary school and learn discipline!
the service will set him straight
later james dean, the dog killer and the girl meet at the bluffs with the cool guys to have a death match
I think a 1 on 1 bare knuckle brawl would settle things
works in street fighter, mortal kombat, king of fighters, fatal fury, world heroes, voltage fighter gowcaizer, battle arena toshinden, clayfighter, samurai shodown and primal rage
instead they have a car race
too bad
they race to the edge of a clif and 1st guy who jumps out of a car going off a cliff is chicken
they race but the cool guy gets his jacket caught in the car and instead of hitting the brakes, goes over and his car asplodes
I bet he's still alive but mutilated and suffering w/o his skin(it burned off) or eyes
well
you live by the sword, you die by the sword
same thing with druggies
later james dean returns home and the dog killer invites him over to spend the night
I think in the real version he invited him to b0ne
james dean turns his offer down for now
at home james dean drinks milk
I assume its hard drugs in the real version
he seems a bit loopy too
his mom comforts him but james dean only wants to talk to his dad
he comes out about being involved in the bluff killing
he claims it was a matter of honor cuz they called him chicken
this isn't samurai times and you aint yagyu jyuubei!
he rambles on about his drama and his dad tries to help him
james dean sez his dads just as involved in killing that kid as him somehow
man james deen is a whiny b--ch
his rents advise him not to ruin his life by coming out to the cops
james dean is impatient and disgruntled
he then starts trying to kil the dad
wtf
this guys a maniac
this is what happens when u don't beat ur kids
jams dean runs off and goes to the police station but passes the cool guys
the police have better things to do than listen to whiny a55 james dean
so he calls the girl
but her dad gets the phone and hangs up
some unknown guy calls in the middle of the night asking for your 16 year old daughter?
you know ur hangin up his a55!
later james dean talks to her outside
then on the4 radio the dj sez; this is dedicated to u from buzz(the dead guy_)
so he turns it off
they get slightly romantic
if this were made today they'd be b0ning
they don't wanna go home so they talk about a deserted mansion
then the cool guys catch the dog killer and start interrogating him
I bet they were b0ning him to get info in the real version
after being b0ned hes kinda mopey and gets a gun and goes off to "warn" jim
later james deans rents hear a noise outside and when he opens the door finds a chicken hanging upsidedown
is this a black ritual?
the cool guys ask the dad where the james dean is
then the dog killer comes by and leaves
he meets james dean at the mansion
they play make believe about a happy future in the mansion
they talk about their regrets and issues and pasts
james dean and the girl make out
I assume theyre b0ning in the uncut version
meanwhile the cool guys arrive an rumble with the dog killer
they chase him in the dark house and a cop arrives noticing a break in at it
dog killer gets his gun and is freakin out
he caps 1 guy and fires at james dean
they fight and he runs out sayin; yo not ma father!
the cop trys to help but hes goin mental!
james dean and the girl talk and realizes he wanted them to replace his family
sounds like some kinda serial killer thing
the battler moves to the planetarium and james deans rents arrive
james dean talks to the dog killer and trys to talk him out of his rampage
they come out but the dog killers unbalanced
james dean trys to talk to the cops but they turn on lights to see better and the dog killer freaks out
he runs at the cops with a gun so they cap him
james dean says "I've got da bullets!"
how were the cops supposed to know dat??
james dean then turns to his dad for help and his dad trys to comfort his deranged son
the end
everyone sez this is a great film
I wasn't impressed
its just whiny emo teens with 1st world problems going mental
and THEY are seen as the heroes!
imagine a show about mentally ill people where their mental illness is shown as "fact" abnd anyone with common sense is depicted as "intolerant" and "out of touch" with those degenerates
well...
its kinda happening now
for rebel without a cause 2 I'd like james dean to have been commited to a nut house for being too mental after nearly b0ning his dad and several other guys dead. he is on powerful drugs to keep him from going mental. eventually the drugs start wearing off and he starts having freakouts and they have to chain him up to keep him from b0ning people dead. but james dean fights the chains and builds up enough styrength and muscle to become big and buff like hulk Hogan and eventually breaks out of the chains and is super strong and starts b0ning people dead. oh and the dog killer who got shot is now a cripple and has seen the error of his ways and when he confronts james dean with the truth, james dean cant take it and starts b0ning him.

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