Friday, February 5, 2016

Crime And Punishment Review

note; theres typoes. deal with it
crime and punishment
this is my review on crume and pinishment
that tite was used often in the 80s and 90s
there was gonna be a Robotech II the sentinels ep called it had the series been finished
I always liked the sound of the title
im watching the 30s version with peter lorre
it starts with some people graduating school
they give a speech about them having a briht future and high wisdom
peter lorre gets a high award
btw this is 1800s russia
the glory days b4 communism
afterward lorre's roommate meets mom and sister
then lorres mom gives lorre his dads watch
later peter lorre writes a big thing on ciminology
I think
later he's going out and his b--chy landlady wants him to pay his 6 months of back rent
on his way out he meets his roommate and he shows lorre his article
lorre acts cool but its revealed he sent all his cash to his sister/mom who needed it
the roommate sez he can loan lorre the cash but lorre sez no
then he goes to a pawner and b4 he sees her, this chicvk sells her a family thing
oh its a bible
but the pawner is a b--ch and mean
she also stiffs her with tricky dealings
after she leaves, lorre sells her his watch and wants 50 monets
but she only offers 10
he takes it
on the way out he sees the seller chick and shes lost the 1 money she got when the pawner pushed her out
lorre sez the pawner otta get iced
they have a gentle tender moment as she tells her fam problems
also lorre gives her brother some of his cash
later when walking this drunk hassles him
I assume he b0ned his in the real version
also lorre is having killer thoughts
later lorres mom shows lorre the sisters boss or w/e
hes got a few big gov jobs
and his sister is marrying him
and hes employing lorre as a secretary
wait, he changed his mind
also hes a harda55
then the seller girl comes in and sez she came to thank him for the cash
and peter lorre hates the boss
so he tells the sister not to see the peter lorre
peter lorre is very malcontent over his sister marrying this buttmo over money
so he ties a book in a lot of string
but the voices of his past (including napoleon) advise him not to do this
he tells em off and sez hes too smart to be fod out
he goes to the pawner and sez hes got a cigarette case of gold
its tied up in a lot of string
as she unties it he busts her head in with a metal thing
I bet her skull caved in like in the human centipede 2
he then goes through her thingsand gets some stuff
but someone knocs on the door wanting someyhing
since the door is locked from the inside, they go get someone
he escapes when they are out and they return to find the door open and the pawner busted open
there was the crime
now the rest should be the punishment
like in law and order how the 1st half of the ep is the guy getting caught and the 2nd half is them proving it
the next day a cop comes to see him
he takes him to the station and lorre is nervous
turns out its cuz he owes his landlady 30 moneys
he then gets real exuberant over not getting caught on iceing that pawner
like tom curise on that couch
he sez hes gonna pay
then this hobo is brought in for selling earings lorre dropped in his escape
on his way out, lorre is stopped by a high level cop who loved his article on crime
he talks with lorre about his skill in criminal stuff
he sez normal men who are driven to crime often turn themselves in for fear
and lorre sez their power to inspire fear is a powerful weapon
the cop then interrogates the hobo
and he and lorre talk about extraordinary men like napoleon needting to be judged different than normal men cuz they are extraordinary
like celebs getting away with b0ning or killing innocent people
the hobo is interrogated and in fear he begs lorre for help
the cop sez he has enuff evidence to send the guy to the gallows
and can send him there even if its just to keep his record clear
and the real killer is the one sending the guy to h-ll
lorre plays it cool and later gets 30 moneys from his roommate
also he stashes his loot under4 a rock
the next day peter lorre waLKS in to the newspapers office like a bada55 and demands to see the editor
he sez this other paper is willing to let him do a series for 750 moneys
this gets the editor to pay lorre 1000 money and a job
he spends it on a new suit and now hes got confidence
then goes to see his fam
also his roommate comes with him
hes into the sister
peter lorre then mocks the sisters finaqcee or boss or w/e
and kicks his  fat a55 out of his fams life
later the cop is interviewing those the pawner dealed with
the seller lady tells the cop about her inteactions with peter lorre
and what lorre said about her deserving to be b0ned dead or w/e
on her way out she talks to lorre who was on his way in
he talks to the cop about having dealings with
on her way out she talks with lorre who was just coming in
he talks to the cop about his dealings with the pawner but his watch wasn't found in the pawners place
also theres a lot of drinking and smoking in this film
I mean it is Russia
its sad
they have these epic bodies that can live to like 115
but destroy em with drinking and smoking and bad food
its like taking the ferris bueler car to a demolition derby
the cops goes to pter lorres fams place with him and interrogates him on his dealings
but lorre is too bada55 to fall for his tricks
later peter lorre talks to the seller about what was said to the cops
and the seller (named sonya like in mortal kombat) has the hots for peter loree
also she talks to prter lorre about biblical things
faith, the Lord, the bible
and lorre seems disenfranchised
after its implied they b0ned (but I know she wouldn't cuz shes a good Christian girl) he goes back to the crimescene but runs away
later this guy who lorre suspects is a cop comes over to lorres place
he sez hes the sisters old boss
and its his fault some bad thing happened about her
he gives lorre cash and gives him advice about unforceen events caused by crime
then the cop comes in and sez he suspected lorre b4
also he sucks 30-40 cigarettes per day
and he reveals his plan to drve crooks into giving up
as well as making obvious tells that hes onto him
the next day lorre comes in all srung out
but the cop jerks him around longer and drops hints that its best to confess
then the hobo comes in and sez he killed the pawner but the cop don't believe him
lorre seems jolly over it
later peter lorre talks to Sonja and sez he might never see her again and they caught the killer
he offers to go away with her but she freaks out
so she leads her bible in the story of Lazarus
removing a stone that kept him in his grave
which triggers lorees viet nam flashbacks of hiding his loot under a stone
he breaks down and sez he did it
she urges him to confess to the cops
he has no right to take the life of the man who confessed
later the sisters old boss or w/e reveals to the sister that he heard the peter lorre say he killed someone
so the boss offers to get peter lorre out of Russia
but she turns him down
then he sez hes gonna tell the cops and wants her to marry him
I think
she pulls a gun on him backs down
later the cop confronts lorre about the murderweapon beimg found in his building
both know that's not enuff evidence but t the cop offers him a good deal
lorre turns him down
the cop sez hes gonna send the hobo to siberria to get iced
and if the peter lorre suicides he'd like it if the peter lorre sent him a note where the stashed loot is
later the peter lorre visits his fam and talks with his sister about her knowing and now hes gonna skip town
he then has a tender moment with his mom and they reall how he felt bad as a kid when he dropped a book on a kitten
he told God he didn't mean to do it
and his mom sez he was such a good boy
this is like in degrassi high how after you see the last eps then they play it from the start u see the teens as kids b4 they got into murder and drugs and drinking and suicide
later its revealed he considered suicide but its too easy
and the Sonja offers to go away with him
she tries to convince hi with his own wor4ds but hes given up on em
he sees how hes ruining her and I think they kiss but I was typing
he then goes to confess and the cop sez; ive been waiting for you
the end
btw; this seems a lot like that bible story on the prodigal son
for crime and punishment 2 I'd like it to be a prison movie in Siberia and peter lorre is forced to join a prison gang to survive. also theres a subplot on mammoths being discovered and the prison I under attack by native Siberians who live with mammoths as spirit partners (or familiars in d&d terms) and they are attacking the prison as its on "their" land. so the inmates and various prison gangs mush team up and work together with the guards who b0ne them to survive the month of the mammoths!

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