Friday, February 5, 2016

Free Willy Review

Note my keyboard is getting worn ad im often 1 handing. theres gonna be some typoes
free willy
this is my review on free willy
as a 90s kid this was part Of my Protoculture
aw gross
its the widdescree version
hatw those black bars
it starts with orca jumping arpud I da watter
I saw that CNNbc propaganda film "blakfish" a while ago
tried to make these sea monsters look human
also it showed them j-rkin off a whale
it had a tentacle!!
one thig I noticed that was off was they claimed orca aren't dangerous
the complained about breeding a killer orca as though its lineage was dangerous
so if breeding it is bad doesn't that make its dANGER natural?
like breeding violent dogs or serial killers?
baack to the fiolm
some guys with beards capture this orca
then it cuts to this scene of some street urchins panhandling
they also steal uneaten food from a café
these kods remind me of my youth with their outfits
I love  da 90s
later the kids are eating cake (probably stolen) at a skate park
then the cops show up
they run and a storm starts
they run inside and trip an alarm
tme for a killer robot guard boss fight
the hero kid starts drawing swastikaS OR w/e in spray paint and hears a noise
its a sea monster!
he gets freaked out and beats it
but returns and finds himself drawn to the  creature
its as big as a dinosaur!
thn the cops get him
hes getting the chain!
he winds up getting to work off his debt to society by doing chores at the whale tank and he has to live with a real family
its revealed his mom is unheard of for 6 years
I assume she was picked off  b a psycho killer
the new parents are kind but the kid is a malcontent
the kid is revealed to have a harmonica
I assume he stole it too
later the kid is left on his own to get to is court appointed job at the whalr place
nowadays the nanny state parents would go mental and want the kids new parents locked up for not watching him 24/7 with safety pads
he gets t without any guys trying to b0ne him and starts cleaning up graffiti but is enthralled by the orca
I think theyre gonna fall in love
later he watches the seal show
but the audience is thin
maybe they otta have animal death matches to get more  money?
also this trainer calls out the kid for graffiti-ing the place and says the orca don't like anyone
sounds like him and the kid have something in common
theyre gonna fall in love
later the dad talks to the kid and gives him some decent fair rules
later the kid plays harmonica and it attracts the orca somehow
even though the orca clips loo out of place with the live action human shots
the kid gets the orca to splash the seal trainor
she gets him to help prepare its food(fish)
he plays with them aND makes noises while moving their lips
at night the kid falls in the tank and apparently doesn't swim
so the orca saves him
in real life it would either b0ne or eat him
I assume inn the real story they b0ned
later his rents come to get him cuz hes out after dark
but the head of the place says they neeed him for the rest of the summer
his rents accept
the next day some guys are mo lesting the orca
as usual with these kind of movies; the white employer is shown to be evil
the kid releases the net holding him
later the employer talks about getting rid of that orca or w/e since its costing him too much money
if he runs out of money, his work goes under and all the people who depend on him for work will be out in the cold
but no. this orca is more important than thousands of real familys
esp when in japan they eat these things

later the kid talks to his old homies
then he feeds the orca
he often talks to it
like a util recently wild animal can now human english
he has a romantic moment with him by feeling his snout
I assume this was toned down to get a PG rating
maybe he was j-rkin him off in real life!
th kid then teachs the orca trix
the head of the place says the orca found a soulmate
I knew they were in love!

the white employer used the term, malcontent, to describe the orca
the seal trainer spews some communist hippie propaganda and reveals her dad was in the navy
I bet she became a hippy out of spite
also the head of the place talks about his peoples history
he tells a creation story of where orca came from
which the kid tells to his new mom
he also got an item of an orca from the head guy
I assume hes going to fuse with the orca in a black magic ritual
then we get a montage of the kid training the orca
e also rubs the orca's tounge
I assume hes j-rkin it off in the real version
later hes talking with his new dad and goes mental when his new dad suggests his real mom isnt coming back for him
he runs out then returns with a malcontent feel

th dad complains but the mom doesn't want him expressing himself
the kid hen breaks a window out of his angst
they talk and make it beter
laer his homies offer a chance to go to California but he turns it down
I assume they were b0ned dead by druggies and degenerates
he then talks to the orca and admits his love for him
after they b0ned offscreen, they resume training for a show

then they given a show to do with the orca
but all the people tapping on the glass and cheering are disturbing the orca
hhm? is that Michael ironside??
I liked him in prom night 2 and total recall
the orca is not doing anything for most of the show
if he screws up hes gonn be chopped into sushi!

hes goin nuts!
he tackles the glass protecting the audience!
it would be cool if he ate a few kids
I bet he did in the real version
also his tackle sprung a leak in the tank
the kid makes a fuss over the orca letting him down
hes gonna shoot up the place!
he wants to go on a quest to find his real mom
this black guy tells him his mom left him and never looked back and the gov cant even find her
his new mom tries to comfort him but he goes of to talk to the orca
he gets emo and runs off to California to become a ma prostiuite
but then sees the orca whining about hearing other orca outside
who builds a marine land rip off next to the ocean?
one flood and all their animals escape
then he sees some guys screwing with the leak in the tank aND making it bigger for the water to leak out and the orca to dry out so he can get the insurance
if he wanted to kill it why not make it a public execution and sell tickets?
I read about an elephant who killed someone and they hung it
they sold tickets and everything
I think
then they could sell the orca meat so they can get more populaR
japan style
so then the kid and his co workers decide to set him free
after some events that would be good on Gameboy or sega, they get him out of the water
then they get him to a vehicle to transport hm to the ocean
wait, wasnt the ocean within hearing distance of other orca
why not just take him straight across the lawn and dump him?

also his rents notice the kid is missing
and the white employer finds out the orca was stolen and they don't have theft insurance on it
afer some car issues(driving on loose ground. wtf man! I thought this was a pick up truck! it cant handle some offroad? candya55 California cars! if this was from texas it would kick the dirts candya55!)
his new rents come and after he beggs them, they help him
the next day(the AM) they coe to a roadblock(not the G I Joe guy) and bust through it
the white employer tries to stop them but the new dad punches him out
that's a hate crime
the orca tries to escape but a net is put out to stop him
so the iconic 90s scene where the orca jumps over the kid happens
ahhhhhhh that was soooo cooooool

why is the employer the bad guy?
he was just caring for his business
the orca let him down in the show
besides, if this animal was a pig or a cow would we still care?

I had some burgers for lunch

you don't see normal people fraking out over burgers
or trying to free cows back into nature
then we get some footage of orca splashing and a mchael Jackson song
the end
it was Michael ironside
and debi derryberry did stunts
she was in some animes
and some guy names ed murphy
not eddie though
For Free Willy 2 I'd like for Willy to become a John Connor like figure to the Orca and Dolphins and lead a rebellion to bring down humans and drive them from the seas. The humans plan on nuking the ocean, but are contacted by Squids. The humans then make an alliance with Squid (who are revealed to be daemons). Using human and Squid teamwork, then create ESP amplifiers to boost the Squids psychic powers and give them DBZ energy beam attacks. The humans and Squid have an ocean war with the Orca Alliance and the boy from Free Willy 1 has given up on humans after being b0ned by his teacher and fuses with Willy to form an Orca-Centaur(CentOrca) and plans to summon the Leviathan from Bible Times to take revenge on humanity. Also the Orca and Dolphins capture humans at sea and use them as slaves, as well as b0ne them a lot to try to crossbreed with them into a land walking interspecies abomination to later wipe out humans from land.

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