Friday, October 23, 2020

Casper Review

 Note: I spell friendly bad


This is my review on Casper from the distant future year of 1995 (When the Sega Saturn came out)

Its directed by Brad Silberling who did lemony snicket, city of angels and land of the lost

its got bill pullman from space balls,, christina ricci from sleepy hollow, joe alaskey from tiny toons, brad garret from everybody loves raymond, eric idle from transformers the movie, judging amy chick from that show, ben stein from ferris bueler

and cameroes by dan aykroyd, mr rogers, clint eastwood, rodney dangerfield, melvin chaim goldstein (better known by his film actors guild name, mel gibson), the guy who dows the cryptkeeper and jess harness from anianiacs

i saw this years ago and thought it wss cool but aparently everyone sez it s-cked

i did like the fox kids cartoon in the 90s based on it and that had some good stuff in it

Its based on a comic book from the 40s or we and i recall the 60s show or w/e which was a normal 20th century kids show

huh, ben stien was also in the richie rich movie

the harvy movie universe??

so it starts with 2 90s kids breaking and entering into this big a55 house like edward scissorhands or something

it looks like the house in the haunting remake from the 90s

they wanna take a picture with a poloroid but a ghost takes it for em and they split

then title

then ben stein reads the will of this rich chick's dad wholeft most of his cashh to animal cr-p and gave her a house thats cr-ppy

she throws the deed in the fireplace but it turns on the invisible ink and it sez theres a treasure there

so they go there and they meet the ghost who freaks em out and their screams wake up the other ghosts

later they get a priest to get the ghosts out and he gets his head turned around

even the ghost busters cant get them out

so she trys to have it town down to gte da trezure and the ghosts scare the guys off

so kasppar wants a friend and sees a tv thing of dr harvey and his teen daughter kat whodeal with ghos5t mentaol health

i mean we got animal psychologists so this isnt eactly unheard of

annd he helfs da ghosts resolve their unfinished business (universal soldier?) and move on to the next life

remember that ashow Dead Last with the fat guy from breaker high? with that rock band helping ghosts move on?

did they rip off this?

so kat is duisgruntled as teen ggirls can't bbe happy in movvies and her dad is trying to be  good

also he wants to find his woman's ghost

remembber splatterhouse 2? rick goes to h-ll and back to save his chick

so the harvey's come by and move into the house and casper has a 0ner for kat

so eventually casper meets kat and she blax out and freaks out when she wakes up and after casper flees, she tells dad who acts like its no big deal, until he sees c boy and freaks out

then the other ghosts come out and goof around and send casper flying and dr harvvy dent comes out and is tormented by em

they crawll down his moth anfd posess him and in da mirror he  sees clint eastwood, rodney dangerfiend and mel gibson, tthenn the ceryptkeeper

after getting em outthey f with him in not horrofying ways sorta  like a buster keaton movie

so he traps em in a vacuum like its luigi's mansion and kat meets and befreinds casper who se hes made of the tingley feeling in ur feet when they fall asleep

also he's got a breakfast machine like he's doc brown or pee wee herman

so doc harvy coms in and casper goes to get him da paper and the other ghosts come in singing ride of the valkyries cuz they're from the 1800s or w/e

also they didn't know about vacuums so maybe

at school, at meets a 90s blonde guy named vic like hes from FMA and Broly and a blonde rival cu all teen girls hate the popular blonde chick

at school the dance  is gonna be moved but when they find out kat lives in the haunted mansion, they vote to go there instead of blonde rivals place

latr the ghosts are being mind shrunk by doc harvey and they say they know his womana and get him to keep someone from them (i think the rich chick) to let him reunite with her

but its really the fat oone faking being a chick who smooches him and has big jiggley cgi t-ts

they go ing to turn you doc har vey! they're go ing to turn you!

so vic askes kat to something but its a scheme by blonde

casper hits on kat and she isnt into naecrophilia so he beefs up and carrys her off to a lighthouse w/o consent

he sez he doont recall being alive andtthey talk while on a lighthouse roof looking at the ocan like all these movies

at home, kat worrys about forgetting her mom and recalls good memories

its kindda nice and has good feels

latter she wants dad to get her a costune and she dont wanna be cute but look date nice

in degrasi net gen; manny was tired of being ccute and wanted tolook hot and went around in thongs and low ridse jeans, when not going commando!!

soo after implying she knows about b0ning bt didnt do anything yet, its revealed shethey havent got paid yet

i  gotta say, the cg holds up pretty well as its not trying to fake reality buut rather be sorta cartoony

so tthe ghosts see doc harvey korman packing up and probably gonna leave so they ttake him drinking

booze in a movie based on a kids thing? they cant do that today, but j-rkin off, b0ning, chronic and being a bootty boy is ok

so casper and kat find a place wiith stuff from casters old life and they fiind a dress owned by caspers mom or w//e

casper gets viet nam flash backs of riding a sled wwhen his dad told him not toannd he died of pneumonia

that hit me

its prettty powerful

its subtle, but the performsnce is good

he stayed behind to keep his dad company and they find newspaper clps saying his dad was haunted by his son and made a machine to bring him back

thy go through the passages in the house andd find the Lazarus and a weird tim burton machine of riding a chair through thee lite blue lit areas and giing through an auto set up of shaving and tooth brushing and stuff

also rrich chick and erich idol are following

so caspers dad was an inventor like tesla or edison or Dr Juzo Kabuto and casper sez the door behind em is da vault, which the rich chick hears

they turn it on and up rises this big a55 thing and casper sez  it brings ghosts back to  life with this red ooze

bbtw, casper se biting it is like being born backwards

so stuffed into a womb?

alsso; ur alive for 9 months wiggling around in there b4 ur mom poops u out

so kat uses the  machine on kasper andit turns him into a cooked egg

so rich chick trys to ice erich iodl so he can be a ghost and go in da vault, but she falls off a cliff andd bites it

meanwhile, da ghosts wanna ice doc to have him join em andd he drunkenly smooches em saying he  loves emm

they cant ice him but he falls off a thing and bites it

so rich ghost and billy idol go after  kat and casper bbut they get away and she welcomes in the guests for tthe halloween patty that has little impact on the plot

rich chick ghost and idol get the tresaure in a box but eric black males  her to want more cash

she kills him by throwing him out a windoww but casper gets her toadmit shes got no unfinished business and she goes  to h e double california

te treasure turns out to be aa baseball sogtned by duke  snider who was his fave player (who was pplaying in da 50s so that kinda places caspers dates)

the ghosts come back with the dad from independence day 2 as a ghodst adkat reawakes his memories like pann with goku in dbgt as a gold ape

casper uses the machine to revive her dad like grampa ghoann i mean master roshi in dragon ball evolution (even though his corpse is out there and this gave  him a new body)

so kat goes back to the party despite having the dead eriic von stroheim idol outside and blonde and vic are teaming up to fakee being a ghost to scare the kids

buut the ghosts pop in, freak em out and they run

what useful characters

so casper is feeling bummed about stating a ghost and kats moms ghost coomes down and sez caspers dad is proud off him and he gets to be  rewarded forr his sacrifice by turnig human until 10 pm

casper dances with kat anddr harvey weinstein gets a visit from his wife who sez she hhad no unfinished bbusiness so she went on annd comforts him and gives him advice

so is there heaven in here? is there h-ll? Reincarnation?

actually that reunion was kinda moving

then its 10 pm (was he only human for 5 mins?)and shhe goes on to tthe next world and casper kisses her and turns ghost, which freaks out the kids who run

then the ghosts play a dancier  version of the caaper theme song and the kat, harvey and casper dance

thhen credits and wtf, written by shrri stoner and deabnne oliver?

from animaniaccs?!

no wonder it was good!!

the end

well, that was actually good

its got heart, fun, edge and charn

it holds up and has a good 90s feel that i likee

its only pg for some minor swearing, but nothing worse than the simpsons, and some vviolence, but not as bad as bugs bunny

its a nice 90s film and  has a  good floww and feel

it dont srag and while not much happens, its not boring

and tthe musuc was wonderful

for casper 2 I want it to be abot Kat dealing with people fearimg her at school as the boy she kissed turned ghost and they think she sucked out his life force. Also they start thinking shes a daemon and try to wack her and she has to fight em. Casper equips to her as Ghost Armor and gives her a power boose and she goes through the school wailing on the other kids to get em to stop trying to ice her. Its also a 16 bit action game on Snes, Sega Genesis, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where u play as Kat and solve puzzles with Casper equipped and beat guys up.

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