Monday, December 30, 2019

Escape From New York Review

Note: i spell better than new york is at doing anything good
escape from new york
this is my review on escape from nnew york from 1981
its got kurt russel, the guy who vioced mermaid man in zspongebobb, dr loomis from halloween 1 2 4 5 and 6, issac hayes from south park, harry dean stanton, Adrienne Barbeau who was Catwoman in the 90s batman series, tim atkins from halloween 3 and the sherrif from halloween 1 and 2.
its directed by john carpenter whp's super skilled
i saw this b4 and its good
after crediyts to cool music we get text telling da backstory
its set in the distant future year of 1997 and after a 400% increase in crime in 88, america turned mahattan into a prison island for the whole country and is walled off
they built a wall!!
theres no escape if ur in and no gusards
its like the brits did by sending criminals too evil for soviet england to sovirt australia
well if they dont wanna be an american citizen they can get out of america and go back to new york
some convicts try to escape in the water and a chopper takes em out
already off to a good start
then a bus brig in new meat, and 1 of em is kurt russel
as hes brought in, a voice sez he can choose to be put to sleep so he wont go to jail (which many people do in real life as they dont wanna drop da soap)
then, commies have taken over tthe presidents plane and are gonna j fk jr it
donald plesence is the president which is weird as hes a brit and only americans can be president
except barocvk
so he ejects in a pod and the plane goes into a builting
just like with clintin doing n|nE ||
a rescue squad comes in but the convicts have him and make the squad book it or theyd ice him
so they get kurt as snake plissken whos a war vet who fought the soviets b4 and now lost an eye
thhey need him to save the president as he's the only dude bad enough
he agrees as he'd get a pardon if he wins and they need him to do it in 22 hours as theres a summet with the soviets and chinese and they need plesence for it
they give him a vaccine but as usual, its a trap and they put small capsules in his neck to pop his neck
like cyber city oedo 808 with the collers where they have 23 hours to win or his dead files a divorce against his body
they even have the digital red numbers counting til he pops
so he flies to the trade senter and theres cool fake 3d done with blacklight and neon tape that looks like cgi but its good
after landing and going down he sneaks aroundthe ruiins of new sodom
he chex out a msuical while there as new york turns people queer and meets ernest brougenine who recgognizes him
he goes deeper in and fights hobos who probably wanna b0ne him and finds a nut holding the presidents tracking device
snake thinks his target was eaten but the army guy wont let him leave
ater wandering around he meeets a chick who recognizes him
b4 they can b0ne the convicts attack em and they book it
i think she bites it as snake later meets ernest in a cab who gives him a lift
ernest sez hes driving the same cap for 30 years and the duke of new york has the prez
and no one meets da duke and lives
btw, the prez named donald is hated by violent commies and is connected to new york while dealing with china and the soviets
its like they knew the future
only 20 years too soon
so they go to meet meet catwomans voice who kneows duke
like, il duce? mussolini??
they meet brain (not the pinky one or the one from arthur)and he has history with snake
snake offers em a ride out on his glider if they give him da prez
bain makes gas for duke and they leave and hear dukes engines
they hide as his cars with chandeilers like something liberace wold do go by
duke wants brain cuz he jewed him or something on a map and prez is on da other side of town
so snake carjacks a guy and they go by avoiding broadway as theres heads on poles there
after going through an assembly line of convicts with sticks, and capping sone, they  leave da busted car and chat with the guards
snake sneaksin and saves da prez but on da way back they got jumped and prez gor caught
them too
duke is ther and is chef from south park and knows of snake
meanwhile, the rescue forces use an infared body scan to search but find jack and sh-t. jack left town
later they have loomis tied to a wall and take shots at him  as snake is shirtless and wakes up elsewhere
eventually they cap open the suitcasewhich makes you wonder why they chained it to his arm if they could just open it
later its daytime and they give thr breifcase to the rescue guys
btain figgers out where snake got da glider in and the breicase had a note saying to give in or they ice him
also is snakes tracker or w/e
so snake is took to a wwfthing and fights a shaved guy with a beard w/o shirts
is this p0rn0??
well... it is a prison
they fight with wood sticks like the censored version of that dbz game
brain goes to see prez to check for suicide capsules but its a trick t shank the guards and save him
so snake wins his fight and activates the signal thing for america
a guard comes in revealing brain saved da prez and snake reunites wirh him cuz duke is out b0ning some guys or something and aint watching the fight
prez wants the tape and brain knows where it is
then dukecomes in with his homiex and i think ernie saves em or something
i wasnt paying attentiin
so they drive by a bridge with bsted cars on the side like a video game level and are trying to beat duke there
oh and the tape duke i mean brain has is a thing on a new element or something that makes nucular power easier
so they drive too high speed and crash and ernest bites it
halloween 1 girl; speed kills!!
brain gets iced next somehow
catwomans voice stays behind and fires on duke as he drives at em
i think she bites it
so snake gets prez to the wall and hes lifted out but duke gets there and fights skake
snake gets on the line and prez shreds duke wih gunfire as they save snake
they give snake x rays to the capsules to negate em and hes alve
prez sez thnx for snake saving him and appreciates the guys who bit its sacrifice
hes a bit not emotional after getting his finger bit off, shot at and probably f'd
army guy offers snake a job but snake dont consent
prez gives a speech and plsays the tape to help the nations ligve in peace in a broadcast or something but its ernests music
snake busts the tape with the nucular secrets and walks away
the end
also dick warlock was in stunts as credits play tio sega genesis music
that was cool
good music, action, setting, feel, acting, writing, sci fi ish and effects
i liked it
simple plot, good style, its mostly at night and has good feel
it works
and it influenced sci fi and 80s/90s/00s stuff years later
plus it got the future right in many ways
for escape from new york 2 i want the new york guys to manufacture soe kinda power thing and know open da prison wall. they spill out and take over the areas around new york and turn em into new sodom. so president gets hias hidden projrct out: expert soldiers with high tech ccyber suits that are equal to dozens of people each. then sends em out to take em on with 80s style future tech and chop through em with arm blades and booster rockets to hover and super jump. Its also an 8 bit nes, gb, master ystem game gar, atari 7800 and linx and tgq6 game where you play as this super elite warrior and clear out each level of convicts with various abilities kinda like Metroid or Blaster Master but less backtracking.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Howard The Duck Review

Note: I spell this bad. I hear this bad. It fits
Howard the duck
this is my review on howard the duck from 1986 (the hear the hokuto no ken movie came out)
it stars no one i know of except the school guy from ferris buelar
i never saw this but saw reviews and they say it s-cked
its from the guys who did star wars and was based on a marvel comic
it was intended to be animated but they were forced by contracts to do it live
nowadays it would all just be cg
so it starts with howard comming home and little duck things sowing ducks
but we dont see his face for a bit
he dont look so bad
he lives in totally not ducktales a duck world with humanoid ducks and smokes and reads playboy
then gets launched through the bulding into this portal in space
we see a duck bathing with nips
then narrator sez theres endless realities and we get da title
he crasjes on urth through stuff in a chair and 80s punks surround him and carry him off
a bar owner thinks hes a kid in costum and throws him out as an 80s band plays
aftyer getting f'around the 80ssingge is attacked by 2 fas and she fightds back
how jumps out to help and they get freaked and how beats em up with her
this is seeming like the ninja turtles movie
shes thankful and creeped out by him and tells him hes on urth in clevelaND
shes gonna leave him in the sudden rain as an 80s aong plays but invites him over
she lives in a dump cuz of her band contract(a pun on how this movieturned out?) znd gives him a beer
if disney remakes this, its gonna censor all the cool stuff
he gets ptsd from a chair shaking and hesez his rents wanted him to be a dr but he did construction work and songs b4 getting a rwal job
shhe sez theres no accidents and everything happens for a reason and he wants to go home
that line and the music kinda lifts me up from having a cr-ppy week (and its tuesday at 2 am)
the next day they go to a scientist (NERRRRRRRD!!) and how is in a bag she drags
nerd trus talking like donald duck (which is creepy as disney owns this now) and treaks him like an xman
he wants to use how to get famous and promotes evolution as his theory that howards species founder was a duck not a monkey and digivolved into howards kind
spoiler; evolution is non canon
turns out nerd is a lab assistant at this museyum or something and they book it
some kids see him and he scars em off, then leaves the 80s chick as he's tired of things going f'd
he meets this loud black woman to find work and wears shades and a hat to look normal
she thinks hes looking weird to avoid getting work to stay on unemployment and gives him work in some place people b0ne
he quits as the job s-cked and later at night sees that people eat duck on tv
he goes back where he landed and goes to see 80s chick singing in the bar
he hears her sleazy maNAGER taling trash about her and after confronting him, gets busted up
so he beats a55 and uses a knife to pin his ear to the table to get him to let 80s chick outta her contract
also he tells em he shas space rabies (aids???)
later he meets da band and reconsiles with her as nerd comes by and is dating one of the band
he sez how was here millions of years ago and was frozen in ice as aztecs were from mars
what is he? dale from king of the hill??
btwthis was pg in america, 12+ in soviet england and 15 plus in commie sweden
so how got the band the ash their manager owed em and nrd takes 1 od hows feathers
at home he plays electric keyboard and chick wants him to help da band as she is in her undies and he lusts for her
like april o'neil being b0ned by the ninja turtles!
she goes with it and seduces him but heturns queer or something and gets freaked out
but she was just kidding
just like in prom night 4 with the 5kank and main chick
so then nerd shjows up with rooney from ferris bueler who knows how howard got here
they were testing a lazsr and it got pulled out of aim and hit hows planet
so its star trek? a counter earth where annother species rules?
how wants to reverse the lazer to go home but they gotta do it tonight or the allignment is f'd
also they can set up a link between worlds like the space bridge in g1 transformers
theres a moment of how and chick thats kinda nice and when they get to da lab its all blowing apart and spazzing out
so the cops get howard and think hes in a duck suit but realize its not
he gets out by throwing a cigar in a ttrash can and kicking da cop in and 80s chick takes cops gun
they try to get out and hear da cops say hes dangerous and to shoot to kill
mr rooney gets em out in his car after he was affected by the lazser blowing and spazzes out
something is mutating him from inside
monster transformation fetish?
they crash lightly and he does a bad anime dub vice (like beni in the funi dub of dbgt)  saying hes someone else
at therestaraunt he talks about the end of the world in a groany voice and that happened in ghost busters
he mentions dark lords or daemons or sometging he's trying to bring over and has the code key
some truckers come by and he fights em with food and the crowd catches him and are gonna eat him
rooney goes urotsukidoji withh an 80s neon glow to get bakc the code key and  blasts em with ki while spinning a cleaver with his ki
the  blows the bbq like firestarter 1 as everyone clears out
pretty good effects
so rooney seals the place and lifts howard up like freeza in dbz to krillen or that guy who burst in angel cop and smashes him around to get back the key
then leaves with the 80s chick in a truck as he needs human bodies to grow inside of on earth
he runs low on ki and a tentacle comes outta his mouth and into the lighter in the truck like urotsukidoji
man this inspired a lot of anime
so at the resrauatnt nerd gets arrested and howard was hiding as a duck statue in a display and fills him in
nerd crawls out the front window and they get a cr-ppy plane
the next day ropney is drcroding and goes to a nucular plant and howard and nerd take off in this small plane like in mad max 2 the road warrior
is this ripping off ET??
at da plant rooney ues his ki to bust into the reactor to charge up like gigabyte wanted in reboot in the mid 90s
he coomes back looking like beetlejuice and howard is havign issues flying a plane as his modern ducks can't gfly like donald in those master system games
they go through a duck hunters thing and scare em outta their boats
imagine a modern howard the duck with duck dynasty cameos
so rooney gets caught in a traffic jam and wastes cops with his ki blasts kile dbz, then bloews that cars away
manwhile, the cops fire on the cr-plane and it spazzes out, but nerd fixes it
btw, why did nerd have howard drive it?
dont he know or have more exp with our worlds things?
later nerd sez to da cops chasing em he's a hostage of howard
they plow through a train and get broked wings and drive on the road
they crash in a lake and howard cant swim like sonic
they get to da lab and 80s chick is strapped in to be posessed by the space daemons
btw is the real rooney dead?
i mean he got taken over by that daemon so i guess its like batman beyond where that hrandpa program was gonna go into grandson and gson would be where deleted programs go
btw many say that aliens are actually daemons and are from other diemnsions on the plank scale
so they could put this on the history channel or discovery channel with their cr-ppy alien shows
so nerd and howard bring in a death ray or somethig to fight rooney who looks like heihachi from tekken but it f'd out
rooney ki beams nerd but he deflex it with a metal thing like captain america
howard gets it to start by wearign a eatbelt and eventually uses the beam cannon to blast rooney dead
howard intentionally killed someone
imagine if they had a crossover with howard the duck and the garbage pail kids?
so rooney is normal again but the bad thing is out and loose breaks outta the ground in stop motion
now it would be bad cg
it looks pretty bada66
like doomsday in superman or nightmare before christmas
it reaches i=a tentacle out and grabs howard and activayes the lazer with the other to bring more of em in a few mins
then stun blasts nerd and 80s chick
why not ice em?
howard saws off a tentacle and uses the beam cannon on wheels to blast him dead
i just realised this is kinda like in shining force how woldol turns into a scorpion thing
they got 30 seconds to stop it but doing so ill keep howard from going to his planet
so he blows it
btw didnt they need human bodyes to live on earth?
just gonna ignore its own canon huh?
so howard looks dead but gets better and talks in a groany voice
but its a joke and then we see her in some fighting game girl/space p0rn0 outfit giving a packed consert singing about howard the duck
i like this
also howard and nerd work with em behind the scenes of the consert and howard goes up and plays guitar better than bill and ted
then credits too em rocking out
the end
that wasnt awful
i kinda liked it
its good 80s and has a good light feel
plus its fullscreen
the effects are cool and the story i dodn't hate
good acting kinda and it has more personality than mst cr-p today
whatever people hated about his i dont see it
i had fun watching this and it cheered me up after a cr-ppy week
it did several things that influenced various media after it that was quite popular and drew from past media we grew up loving
ted hurtz? what is that? a sm p0rn0 name??
for howard the duck 2 i want it to be the 90s and they have become big stars and howard is a big celeb. but he finds out his girl is pregnant with his interspecies kids and has to prepare to become a father. its a comdy and has slice of life elements. also its a 16 bit sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba game like pac man 2 the new adventures where you do thing and get through levels.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Black Christmas Review

Note: you get spell bad for christmas
black christmas
this is my review on black christmas from 1974
its about the 1st Kwanzaa and stars richard roundtree and the guy who was dolemite in s blaxploitation epic
its a christmas horror movie from the guy who did a christmas story and Baby Geniuses Bob Clark
John Carpenter based Halloween 001 on it and jumpstarted the slasher boom
it stars david from 2001, the chick who was lois lane in the 70s superman, Roper from Double Dragon i mean Eter the dragon, Andrea Martin from a buncha 90s cartoons, Ooh, she was queen slug for a butt in earthwprm jim!! les carklson from canadian cr-p, and other canadian guys
i saw this b4 and thought it was good
its based on the urban legend of the babysitter and caller and baeed on real murders around the late 60s early 70s
so it starts with chriastmas and we get a p o v shot of this guy going 2 dis hous and crawling in an open thing
1 chick in there is having a party with her droogs and calls her mom on da phone
later da phone rings and its a degenerate saying lusty things and sounds while probably j-rkin off
so they gather round anfd listen to it
i think they are into it but 1 is a feminist or something and gets mad at him and b--ches out at him
the girls dont like this chick named barb cuz shes kind of a b--ch and she is b--hy at em
later 1 girl goes looking for the house cat and gets iced by plastic over her face
you know you ca suck it in and chew through it
unless ur a french canadiasn and have bad teeth
and no soul
so the killer takes the body to the attic and probably b0nes it
so main chick talks to her bf about how she wants to meet him about something
so the next day this girl at the house is not seen and her dad is there to find her
this old hag  at the house makes fun of the dad after he leaves
later main chick tells her bf shes pregnant but is gonna kill their kid cuz she feels she dont want him
bf tries to save his child's life but she dont care
also she's brittish so she's the bad guy
maybe if they weren't b0ning they wouldn't have gotten ppreggo
later this creepy caller calls the main chick and asks where she put the baby
is that a ref to the babysitter cooking the baby while on drugs urban legend?
so later barb b--ches to the cops over the missing girl and makes references to sucking man parts
seems like a 5kank
later bf has his piano thing and later the missing girls bf comes to the station to yell at the cops for not doing enough
later its dinner at the college house and barb is drunk and talking about a turtle that b0nes for 3 days straight
in urotsukidoji 2: Amano is in the lava with his bimbo gf for like a week wheile takeaki is visiting Nagumo
so barb thinks its her fault the missing gurl left as she was a b--ch to her
later the baby daddy is stressed and bats a piano dead
so the cops search for the missing chick and the hag is along in the hosue and looks for the cat in the attic
is this like alien?
did alien rip this off?
she sees the body of the missing girl and the killer takes her out with a rope hook swing thing and pulls her up
then he spazzes out for a bit
we never see him btw
later the people looking for the girl find something but dpnt show it cuz they are too candya66 to have gore
then main chickhears the killer on da phone talking about being filthy billy and seeming to have been mo lested as a kid and turned into a degenerate
she calls the cops and then her baby daddy shows up and he's not happy
she talks to him like a child who is having an episode
after she she told him about their kid, thats kinda ssick
its like saying "imma kill ur pets" then acting like them getting upset is their fault
she explains a little girl was chopped up in the park and he sez he wants to quit college and marry her cuz he's sick of that cr-ppy a55 place
she turns him down cuz she wants to do her own thing
way to break his heart
later the cop the barb gave the weener sucking joke to is made fun of for not knowing the reference
so baby daddy trys to save his unborn kid but she kicks him out
she's so calm about it
kinda like gacy or bundy and their not giving a second thought to their vics
so the cops come by asking for consent to tap their phones and wtf one of them is named bill graham
like billy graham the bible guy?
its like that highway to heaven ep with jack mason
what next? bob schneider?
lex dumas?
tommy edison?
so the cops rig it up and tell em to keep the guy on the phone as long as they can and they'll be tracing it
so later barb wakes up and spazzes out until she gets her inhaler
later soem kids sing Christmas Carols and the killer shanks her a buncha times with a glass unicorn
is that what halloween 2 by rob zombie was based on?
btw, when the kid got it in riki-oh, we saw his skinned remains
here we dont see the chopped up kid
thats racist
so then the killer calls and main chick heards it and killer repeats something baby daddy said about his kid
the cops call after that and say there wasnt enough time to track him and she needs him on longer
then at the station they bring this geezer in for opening fire on the cops who were tresspassing
knowing soviet canada, they are gona make him a hero for resisting the cops
esp if he's 5% native american
so main chick tells the girls she thinks its her baby daddy who called as the caller said stuff he did
then the baby daddy calls and he's upset as he cares for his unborn child
she treats him coldly and he hangs up
its like she doesnt have a soul the way she has no love in her voice
well... she IS brittish!!
the cops call and ask about him talking about their kid and she tells em the story
the cops try to figure out if its baby daddy and she sez he was there when the 1st call came so its not him
later the search party for missing girl stops by and andrea martin lies about their dog biting it last night to keep em out
then they laugh about it and realize they were at the only locked door or window in da house
i often have dreams of being at my grandmas place and locking all the doors and windows and theres many of them
then theres a call saying devient thing and then i think 1 from the killer
the cops trace it and the calls are comming from in side da house!!
and the cops on guard are iced
da cops call main chick and tell get to get out and where the calls are from and she goes upstairs to check on her homies
but 1st she yells to em to give away her position
then gets a fire poker and goes upstairs and finds them chopped up in betd together
she sees the killers eye and slams the door on him and tries to escape
but the door is locked and hes comming so she hides in the basement and lox da door
later i think its daytime and her baby daddy comes by with his shadow over the window
imagine looking outside and seeing that
that would freak me out
he busts a frozzen window and comes in and is calm and nice
she beats him dead offscreen (i though she shot him) and everyone thinks baby dady was the killer
they put her to sleep and gotta wait hours b4 questioning her
so the cops leave thinking all is well but upstairs the killer is still there and the phone rings
the end
that was pretty good
good mood and theme and acting and effects
is mostly r rated for swearing and the violence is mostly tame
good dark 70s feel
good music
its got goodf voices and acting and its one of the origenators of the slasher genre that gave us so much good cr-p
its gritty and edgy and dark and has that look of mosty=ly wood that the 70s had
plus the bad ending where the main chick murders her baby daddy who was innocent and no danger and the real killer is still out there was a good twist
sorta like devilman where everyone dies
for black christmas 2 i want the cops to come back and find the killer eating her arms and legs and he escapes. they have a manhunt and when she wakes up, she's freaked out. they piece together that he was the real killer and the baby daddy was innocent and she murdered an innocent man. she cant take it and tries suicide by banging her head on the wall but is only sevierly brain damaged and is a drooling mess. also the killer is taking ou people in the cold and wearing their skin to keep warm and eating them. also its an 8 bit nes, gameboy, sega master system, game gear, atari 7800 and lynx and tg16 game where you play as the killer and try to escape from the cops and the bonus levels are his insanity delusions of him reliving his childhood and his baby sitter is trying to b0ne him.

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Less Than Zero Review

note; i spell bad but drugs are worse
less than zero
this is my review on less than xero from 1987, the year before the sega genesis came out
its based on a book i never read and i think its writer hated it
its directed by Marek Kanievska who is el polen zakken like me (Polish ) but brittish living
it stas robert downs jr, james spader, the guy from valley girl, one of the red hot chilli peppers anf a cameo from brad pitt before he went purvo or w/e he did that made angelina dump him
she's not the most non f'd up chick and she dumped him!!
its like when tom green dumped drew barrymore
that makes angeliana tom green
huh, the writer of this also wrote american phycho
i never saw that or this b4
so it starts with the class of 87 graduating and downey's dad gave him cash to be a record producer
later, main guy is in an apartment and some chick calls him to come over for chriatmas
this is a christmas movie??
in i think a flashback, the chick sez she dont wanna do college and main guy gets b--chy
another flashbavk has downey telling him to go after chix at the air porte
then he seez downey in bed with his female bff
so then he's back in soviet los angelas and 80s music plays and goes home
then its night and he goes to a paRtY and a guy offers him drugs
the drug offerer sez main guy dont belong hthere as the people are a55 holes
well... it IS L A
he goes up stairs and reunites with his bff girl and sje was the one who called him cuz her homie is in trouble and on drugs
he goes off amnd she does blow
he chats with downy and tries to leave but downy gets him to stay
they drive around singing xmas sings and later at a restaurant female friend (the chick) sez his record deal f'd out, he lost his cash and he got into drugs
later at a club downy wants cadh and main  guy woont give it
wait i think he does
chick sez she only b0ned downy cuz he left em (so its like with guts, caska and griffith in berserk?)
another flash back shows maim guy and downy chattin in a park
later, chick is doing a photioshoot of what i think is fake necro p0rn0 and has been doing blow
main guy talks to her about her and downeys nose candy usage and wants to go home
latwr diowny stops by his uncle bobs place and trys to bum mobey ofa him to invest in a club
me; if he wants ucle bobs money he's gonna have to suck his d0ng like everyone else!!
donwey; just like when i was a kid??
so chick goes home and tells her rents she's going out b4 leving a few mins later
i like the lighting in this. is got that pale blue look like the bodyguard
dat 80s feel
so theres a party and main guy goes to it and when dancing with chick doney butts in and p-sses everyone off
chick/main guy go off and make out, then drive and make out atbthe same time
a bker gang rolls by as they make out then they go somewhere to b0ne
u f;d a girl! thats so gay!!
so next day doney tries to go to his dads place but had has had enough of his sh-t and tells him he cant stay there
hes a p o s junkie!!
he ahould've beat hid candy a55 more as a kid
so main guy finds doeny on a beach and chats with him
doney goes for another guy for cash but gets turned down
oh its uncle bob
later its night again and hes smoking somerthing and owes main guy a lot of cash and cant do it
so main guy, wait, its james spader he owes cash to, offers him a bit of help to come with him to do some favor
main guy i think makes out with and b0nes gf
i think doney got f'd for money
and his name is julian like sakura's brothers best friend in card captors
so doney's jonesing and stops by main guys place to ask for 50 000 $$
he leaves but sees main guy ask dad for 50 000 and goes to see this little girl i assume hes into
later the main guy fam realised doney jacked their jewelery
main guy looks for doney and brings chick bit it takes too long and chick goes mental when he confronts her over her addiction
intervention 0
eventually theyfind doney and he's all f'd out and pukes but we dont see it
why not show him blasting vomit?
they have drugs and b0nig but barf is too much?
candy a55es!
so they get him through detox and she sez about how hard it was helping this junkie while main guy was out
main guy goes to see spader to say to keep away from doney and main giuy will pay and spader sez he put up with doneys cr-p for longer than others and doney is the priblem
doney goes to see dad and looks like sh-t
he asks to stay at home anddad dont consent as he knows he cant trust this junkie
alll he can do is put him tp sleep
so doney sez hes gonna see a guy he owes a lotta cadash to and dad asks if he can stay clean for 1 week
doney sez he can try and they hug
later main guy (who looks a lot like spader) seez this apartment all f'd up and graffitti saying doney is good at sucking man parts and is dead
dooney calls and leaves a message saying hes gonna see spader and chick/main guy heer and go after him
main guy wants to get doney outta the cesspoole that is soviet los angelas
you know he's probably got aids right?
drugs and b0ning? thats what eventually got chaelie sheen!!
so doney sees spaer and spader cuddls him like hes been b0ning him
doney sez he's gonna try to get off da drugs and will pay him back and spader dont buy it as he's done this b4
1 junkie heats up a crackpipe in front of doney
imagine if spadr injected him with liquid cocainum and j-zz to turn him back into a junkie
main guy sttops by a place and has chick stay as hechex out anouther place
chick otices 1 gurl at da party is into nose candy
in lazy town they called fruits and veggies Sports candy
so msain guy coomes in on sader b0ning doney jr and they leave
i guess the drugs turned julien queer
main guy confronts doney over being gayed and he sez spader made him do it and goes b--chy
this is like a bad ep of intervention
but that implies there are good eps of it
chick flushes the girls blow and leaves w/o telling them anything to get em off it
teach a man to fish, he eats for life
main guy goes to get chick and spader confronts em over where donwey is and they fight
james spader is a55 kicked as hes a junkie and probably has aids and heroes drive off
so its daybreak and they drive past a wind farm which probably killed everyone on the land nearby but its in soviet clasfornia so they dont care
main guy chex doneys body and i think hes bit it
see you in h-ll jukian
btw thr chick in here looks like sarah silverman
so after the service, they recall how doneys mom bit it when he was 5 and he called people asking about her
dad gave him a letter from her saying she went to heaven
spoiler; junkies dont go there
neither do prostiuities
so main guy leaves and brings chick with him and they go back down the road main guy came in on
the end
that was well made
good acting and weiting and music and late 80s feel
good message about drugs
it shows aglimpse of the evil of new york i mean new sodom i mean caligfornia
good 80s style
i liked it
its like intervention but 80s
for less than zero 2 i want the main guy and the chick to have been trainin for a year in serious working out and return to societ celifornia armed and packing. they begin a war on drugs and start taking out the dealers when they see them. but the gov of socviet celiforina dont want the dealers they get cash from to go down and sent d the cops after em. also its a 16 bit run and gun game on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as the guy and the chick who are now big buff blonde atnn bodybuilders and take on junkies and dealers and the bosses are guys mutated by drugs into daemonic abominations and spray acid from their poison blood.

Friday, December 20, 2019

The Lion In Winter Review

note; i'm not big on england so this time imma spell wrong
the lion in winter
this is my review on the lion in winter from 1968 (the year Wyatt Moran in robotech season 2 was born)
its based on a play i never saw but is dreicted by the guy who did They Might Be Giants from 1971 and The Glass Menagerie in 1973 which also i never saw
it stars peter o tool, kathrine hepburn, anthony hopkins, john castle who was Paul McDaggett in robocop 3, nigel terry from excallibur, timothy dalton from some gay spy cr-p, and a buncha brits i never heard of
i never saw this but it won some awards or something
so it sarts with cretdits and statues and chanting
is this a sequel to the omen?!
then these 2 cavemen have a swordfight
its dad and son and dad wins
he's training him to be king and dad is king and has a lot in comon witrh king lear
the king is henry but not the one who chopped up his wives i thhik
also i think he wants to b0ne this teen and he calls his wife "the great b--ch"
then theres a jousting match and ominous chanting happens
the winner nearly wastes the foe but is stopped
so the king of soviet france is to meet the king of soviet england
ut england and france are both bad guys!
is this like edwards meeting the invid regent in robotech ii the sentinels??
the britmo solriders surround the frenchie soldiers but i think its just a vision
wait, tis not and they clash
the guy watching is the son jeffry who seems evil
i dont trust that name
i knew a guy in grade school named that who was a fat a55 who went bad
not he belongs in the ovens and to be sent up north to feed starving kids
thats all he's good for!!
later king is in his bedroom washing the aids out of his face as the teen he likes is in bed and tries to get king to think she's bad news
she sez she cant be his gf if married to his son jonny and king wonders why as his son wont mind
thats england
purvursions for all
so jeff and jon come home to the cr-ppy a55 castle for christmas
so king sez he married his wife for money as he's a brit and brits cant love as they are too unevolved(note: evolution is non canon)
then big brother anthony perkins i mean hopkins comes in and jonny sez daddy loves him best
little sh-t!
he bneeds a beat down
also kings gf sez his boys dont like him
ohhh geeee i won der whyyyyy?!
maybe cuz he's b0ning their wife???
so da queen comes in on a long possibly phalllic implued boat and is katherine hepburn, who was a malcontent feminist in real life.
she seems like kind of a b--ch in here too
she's been in jail under kings orders and i kinda see why
ohhh, she's a french queen!
no wonder shes such a c-ck sucker!!
she belongs in the ovens!
cook her and feed her to the fat kids!!
so after bashing her boys and probably giving them mental issues, king meets french king and they talk about keeping the kings gf he was sold as a peace treaty thing or if she don't marry his son, she goes home
selling humans to be butt slaves to regents
and they said america was bad for slavery
and this is the 1100ss!!
so the royals b--ch at each other and bash jeff for being a little b--ch
wait i think its johnny boy
queen jokes about king b0ning sheep and trys to hurt the feelings of kings gf by talking about other chicks king b0ned
that fat a55 king otta just eat her alive
if the brothers grimm are true, then its not out of the ordinary for the royals
super grimm bros 64
so kng sez since the last frenchie king went to h e double africa, he's had no war and got to like dominating his people
queen wants her son richie instead of jonny to be king
is this robin hood 0?
so king and queen b-ch at each other for a while on if they wanna dumpo each other and the treaty is wiggled out
wiggled out my a55!!
so king sez richie played by hopkins is gonna be king cuz hes a real man and johnny b--ches out
also soviet england stays in one piece if dicky is king
johnny goes emo and all "ohh i s-ck and everyuone hhates me" and the fam dont give a sh-t
queen thinks jing isnt fully gave up on jonny boy and jeff i think dumps johnny and sides with queen as he likes that nasty old hag
but he'd sell out anyone if he had the chance
is he edwards from robotech??
rick dont trust queen as shes just out for king and wants revenge and queen goes on abot how she seduced his dad and she regrets having kids
what a horrid c-ck sucker
sje wants some thing king got from bmarrying her back but rick sez she dont love and she used to love him
then she cuts her arm
down the street. not across the road
good f--k is she trying to seduce him??
this is f'd up
but it IS england
they're all degenerates up there
later jeff trys to get johhny to work with him to make jeff king and work with french king to take out rickard and queen
this is like with edwards trying to get the sentinels destroyed so he can rule
so kings gf b--ches about not wanting to be married to rochie or johnny and then king b--ches with queen abbout her screwing up his kids
king agrees to queens terms but she wants to have richie marry gf now
also queen trys to get king to think she b0ned his dad and king takes da bait and gets a priest
gf dont wanna but she's his property and must
king b--ches with king frenchie and its suspected he dont intend for her to marry him
theres talk of an uprising and war and such
so johnny might be king annd queen has king kiss gf in front of her as shes a degenerate
so queen gets bummed about losing to king and richie suggests wacking johnny
so after more chat king chats with frenchie about peace and its revealed that richaerd was gay with the french king
this just wennt springer
well, he is english AND french
so his other kids get b--chy and he tells em they aint good enuff to be his kids ad he wants their kids to bite it
this guy is a real sack of sh-t
wishing murder on the innocent as he hates those they love
hope he gets strung up
all these family is cr-p
and the brits love their wicked overlords
this is why i'm glad to be American
In America, its We the people. In england, its, we who are subserviant to the regent.
we should've sided with Zee Kaiser
he was 2x the han with half the arms
so lTER quren chats with gf about how she totally didnt wack someine king liked
so its diana and that teen andy b0ned
gf sez she wans queen to suffer for xmas and they hug
they turned her into a b-ch too
it spread like aids
she seems to want king back but king had enuff of her sh-t and beats her dead
all that was true except the last part
so he b--ches at her and this is kinda like that virginia woolfe movie but less depressing
he wants to dump her and marry gf so he can have a son but she sez he's had a lot of bast-rd kids
thwy b--ch at each oher about f ing up their kids
they get along a bit but she eggs him on by implying he'd decrode and his kids woyld be freaks and her choice will be king
he sez hes going to rome to get da pope to have him dump her
but she sez there would be an uprising
he sez he'd have his boys locked up to keep em from uprising and she goes on about b0ning his dad
he runs out and barfs as he was imagining his dad b0ning that nasty old hag
so king goes through the castle waking everyone up as "when the king is on his a55, nobody sleeps"
a practice still in use today by the BBFC as if 1 of those butt sodoms dont like anything abbout a movie, the whole thing is banned until its changed against the creators wishes
they banned la blue girl and cut like 15 mins from violence jack
good thing for America and Freedom of Speech
so he has his boys locke up somewhere and is gonna send queen away and marry the gf
she sez he's gotta kep his sons in the dungeon forever and if they get free they'd ice her kid
he cant keep his kids locked up but might gotta
so queen is being taken down a path and her guard and another guy fight
guard gets it i thik and they she frees her sons
wait, its to giv em knives (which are banned in england now) to ce king
wait, its for self defence yo escape but the guys wanna ive king
she sez she wanted him back and jeff sez she's gonna warn king and have em iced
then comes king with candles and a guy hilding a torch
hesez he loved em and he's not letting en out
richie gets the knife and king gets the other 2
they fight all sissy and birtish
jonny attacks but f's it up and king has a blade to his neck
queen wants him to ice his kids but he takes out his swoord and sentences em to be executed as king
he raises his sword and chops at richie but it hits sideways amd he falls
what a f--k up
this kimg s-cked
they all s-ked!!
btw him nearly knifing his kids is like in the omen
he sez hes finished wirh em and they just walk out
he sez he couldnt ice his kids and blames queen for f ing him up and h shouldve iced her years ago
something a later henry king would do multiple times
she goes emo and wantys to bite it as she just wanted him but shes a huge b--ch
so he next day he sends her back to her cage and they laff about it
that's f'd up
the end
that was f'd up
the characters are horrible people
the cast is mostly ugly inside and out
not much happens
but you know, i didnt hate it
its well filmed, well directed, well acted, well produced
it doesnt drag even though its iver 2 hous long but dont feel like it
its got good themes and shows how awful the brits and frenchmos are
its got good color and feels and good production values
good schemes and plotting like robotech ii the sentinels
i liked it but its got horrible characters
plus its hustorical so we learn some cr-p we never gonna use
now some people find it funny i come up with sequels to historical films
well they did it with clash of the titans with wrath of the titans
a non canon sequel to a real story
i mean it was so long ago, who knows what happened
for the Winter in Lion 2 i want the queen to break out and have an uprising against the king. they get help from the oppressed people who think she'd give them freedom. but she turns out to be worse than the king and has men she dont like have their parts bit off and forcefed to em cuz shes a feminist. also she has the kings arms/legs removed and keeps him as her furnature like slave. but at the end, help comes from poland and takes on her and makes the poles rule. its also a 16 bit sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, gba and tg16 strategy game like shining force where you play as the queen and lead an uprising and in the 2nd arc you play as the people fighting the forces you leveled up in the 1st one.

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Apocalypse Now Redux Review

Note: I spell better than brando is
Apocaklypse now redux
this is my reciew on apocalypse now redux from the 70s or w/e
its directed by francis ford coppola who did dat p0rn0 bram stokers dracula
it stars martin sheen, robert duvall, larry fishbrn fro  peewees playhouse, dennis hopper from the supern mario movie, harrison ford from some sci fi cr-p and r lee ermy as a chopper pilot
i never saw this b4 but sam and max had a parody of it
so it starts with junglrs going up in flames
this should activate ssquatch
aprebtly, the redux means its the 200s remastr or w.e/
so sheen is in the non jungle of soviet viet mnam and keeps dreaming of da jungle that he wants to return to
he f's around in his undies ad drinks but then guys come to give him a mission
he has to get this guy names col kurt which sounds like the guy from M D Geist 1
so they breif him and krutz is gone malcontent agianst America like a teen who goes to university or tumblr
and he's got a cult following him like a god or a celeb who tells people to be jacka55es
so sheen has to whack him like marilin monroe or diana
on the way there, he wondering about how now he has to ice an american instead of a gaijin and it bugs him
but he betrayed the protoculture!!
and sheen's got a bunhca teens on his boat to help
so he looks over the file on krutez and he was a top notch soldier but went nuts
so he gets to land and meets uop with soldiers after a fight
man we're alrwady half an hour in?
that felt like nothing
1 enemy spldier is damaged and they help him
this cool soldier meets a guy named lance who he thinks is cool
cool guy is said to have a light about him that means he wont get harmed in battle
like, a Guadian Angel?
the next day they launch the choppers and ride of the valkyries plays like in birth of a nation
so i guess they are the good giys coming to save the day
so they attack some place and land to attack a village on foot
does every viet nam movie have em attacking a villiage??
so after the batle the jets come in and drop napalm on the area and cool guy likes its smell
so sheen and his teens escape from the area on a boat to continue their mission and go to this jungle and chat about cr-p
after reading more about the weird moves kurtz made in his career, threy go to a city and go to a concert with chicks who dance around to rock music
da next day they go on in a boat and listen to the mick jagger song i cant get no.
along the way they f up the boat and it catches fire
a flaming boat?! epic fail!!
also sheen reads that krutz ordered wacking on south viet nam army people and didn't listen to the army when they wanted him to stop
i gotta say, this is a lot like lord of the rings where this crew goes on a quest into an evil land to destory something awful
later its raining and they stop by his place and this chick shows her t-ts
theres a few chicks showing
then try start b0ning as guys outside bang on the windows
i think they are models or something
wtf 1 chick wants the guy b0ning her to act like a bird
like that p0rn0 anime with the yugioh cast where the other yuggi tells a giel to cluck like a chicken
huh, this is lightly based off the book heart of darkness but changed it from 1900 africa to 1970s viet nam
so later so later they are on da boat and shoot up some viet nam guys in another boat
so then its night and they're by this lit up place and go through trwnches lines with sandbags
so after leaving, its later the next day and somehow sheen gets a note saying the last guy they sent on sheens mission joined kurtaz
later they are under attack by the viet kong and cowboy curtis bites it
later they meet the french who i assume are the bad guys and thry put cowboy curtis in the ground
later they eat with the frenchies and they are bummer as they were fighting the viet nam b4 america came
so the frenchie whines more about how the french s-ck and at home they are going commie
later a frenchie female tries to get hin to drink wine to turn him queer
she tells of her ex bf or something and i think they b0ned
later its day abain and they are on the boat and sheen senses kurtz's ki
the bad guys atack with arrows like in 300 and the black guy gets it
latwr 1 guy goes on a tirade about how he hates the mission
so eventually they go to this h-ll on earth looking place with a buncha freeky lookin guyas and a hippie photojournalist
the freeky guys are krutz's guys ad think the sheen gang is gonna take out kurtz
hippie seems f'd up annd acts like kurtz has opened his mind
i think thats the drugs
unless he's got black powers
as drug use weakens a mans spuiritual defences to evil forces
thee hippie thinks kurtz is a genuois and the people see him as a god
kinda like with m d geist and the army
so he goes to see kurtz and hes a fat hairless slob
kurtz speaks in loopy poems and later hippie goes on a rambling tirade about whats gonna happen when krutz bits it
so sheen is kept in the hole for a while and krutz played by queer fat p0rn0 actor brando reads him some paper and lets hi  out but will have him capped if he tries to escape
so he spends days with kurtz who sez sheen dont have the right to call him a murderr but can kill him
cuz killing is less bad than words
what is he? a tumblr commie?
he tells a story oof how he vaccinated the kids for polio but some guys chopped off the arms
probably to stop them from getting autism
he feels like he was hit with a diamond bullet in his forehead like cesaer from urotsukidoji iii and saw everythin as it was
fata55 broando keeps going on and on in his ramblings and wants someone to tell his son at home his stoey
he has a family?
what a p o s!
staying in the a55 hole of the world to lead some commies while they need him
so sheen thinks brando wants to go out like a warrior and she seems to have given up on the service
as the natives chop up a cow, sheen bats brando dead
they used a real cow for this like the monkey brains in cannibal holocost
then he eats brando and becomes the new brando
so he reads typed notes sayng somethig about everyone biting it and coes out and the people bow to him
so sheen leaves and we hear brandoes last words and it just ends w/o credits
the end
that was pretty long and not much happened in it
it goes by at a good pace and doesn't feel long but its like 3 and a half hous
good acting and camera work and action and effects
i was familliar with a lot from this after 90s shows like rugrats and sam ND MAx freelance police
its a well made film that works but not really much happns in it
i like it though
for apocalypse zero i mean now redux 2 i want it to be the muud 70s and the war is still going. but sheen has become the new brando and is leading an uprising and has taken over viet nam and is fighting America. he aldo has began having other peoples body parts surgically attached to him to give him extra limbs and more muscles. also the son of brando is a teen now and wants to stop what his dad started. its also a 16 bit run and gun game like midnight resistance on sega genesis, snes. gba, atari jaguar and tg16 where you play as the son in experimental armor and fight through various viet nam guys and various monsters made by fusing humans and animals with black magi. Wait, make it more like alien soldier.

Monday, December 16, 2019

Videodrome Review

Note; i spell like i'm on vhs
this is my review on videodrome from 1983 (the year the famicom came outy in japan)
i never saaw this b4 but hear its good
its directed by the guy who did the 80s the fly and naked lunch (the p0rn0?!)
it stars janes woods, debbie harry, Leslie Carlson from the 2000s berenstain bears and 80s black christmas, Lally Cadeau from Rupert and the 90s silver surfer, Kay Hawtrey from Urban Legends, and a buncha canadians
its filmed in soviet canada and failed at the box office but is a cult film like the room (Note: the room made a lot of cash as its still in theatres)
huh, james woods is pro life and catholic and right wing
a real american
so it starts with someone watxing tvooh, efects by rick baker
he's good
so james woods gets up and goes to work getting video tapes from japanese guys
oh its p0rn0
we watches it with em and, wait, its with his bosses or w/e
the p0rn0e isnt f'd up enuff for him
wait til urotsukidoji
eye removal, bone removal, organ removal, limb removal, male organ removal, corppses barfing out guts that turn into daemnons that eat people
thats in 87
this is 4 years away from it
so later this nerd is working to get pasty a scrambler blocking his signals and they watch malaysian p0rn0
btw, in soviet canada, some p0rb0es are banned cuz they are "demeaning" to the animated females in them
can't bring cool devices into canada
live action butt hammering? no prob
but illistrustrations of sm? too much!
so later woods goes on a talk show to talk about his video store with violentt p0rn0 and how people think it makes you bad
later woods and nerd watxh an hour long thing of a guy being whipped
turns out its not malaysian, its from soviet pittsburg
later james meets a phone shrink talking to a chick who hates her sister and oh its a help radio show
later he and this chick are at his place and watch a vhs called videodrome where a chick is tied up and whipped
she likes it and sez she let someone cut her shoulder cuz shes intio sm
so they b0ne and the next day he goes to work and a chick shows him p0rn0 but he wants something more f'd up
i think shes a gypsy
he tells her about videodrome (is that related to video power or video and arcade top 10?) and she suggests he produices his own show
so ater his gf sez shes going to soviet pittsburg (like saint petersburg?!) and is gonna go on videodrome
he tells her to stay away from it cuz those guys are degenerates and too  much for her
in mexico and brazil they execute people for making underground videos and pittsburg might be the same
she then burns her left b00b with a ccigarretee
ichi the killer much??
leter jimmy meets gypsy in a foreigner restaurant and she tells him to avoid videodrome
she ez its real and they'dre really icing people for it
he wants to know more and offers to take a shower with her and he'd put her greek p0rn0 on tv
she tells him its brian o'blivion doing it (which sounds like a p0rn0 name) and he goes to this slum place and meets brians daughter
he tells her he met her dad on a talk show and she sez she shows hobos tv to help them get over their issues
she tells him her dad hasnt met anyone in 20 yeras and on the talkshow he was on a tv signal sent to the studio
i shouldve mentioned it b4
later he's at home and thinks things over b4 getting his firearm(but canada is too candy a55 for guns)
gf comes over and he slaps her and changes her dress color with each slap but it didnt happen
oh and she isnt going to pittsburg
she gives him a tape from brian and books it
he chex it out and it moves like its alive
i think its betamax
he plays it and he sez the tv screen is part of the structure of the mind and becomes reality
then he tells james that his realisty is half illusion and he had the same issue
he had a brain problem and it was caused by video
when they removed it, it was videodrome or something and he was its 1st victim
the gf is in the video and sez not to wait
then his furnature starts moving and it looks real cuz its not cr-ppy cgi
also he has an atari 2600
he puts his head on the tv screen of gfs lips and it envolops his head
it looks real cuz it is real
they put effort into effects then
next day he is at birans place and tells daughter it truggered hallucinations and he's had em since he 1st saw videodrome
she sez the signal of the tapes does damage and causes brain issues in people that cause hallucinations
he goes to see brian but hes dead and theres thouands of tapes of him tht he made b4
and he saw video as the next stap in  human evolution and his partnets iced him for not letting them use videodrme for their own ends
she gives him more tapes of brian and he watches em
btw the talking to a tape was ripped off in yugioh and this tape that kills you is ripped off by the ring
brian on tape sez the thing in the brain is a new organ that will change our reality
jimmy seez his torso opening and puts a gun in it
it looks real
but when he takes his hand out the hole is gone and he looks for the gun
then da phone rings and a guy sez a guy wants to talk to him about video drome and has a car out for him
he goes in it and they drive as a video in a car tv plays of the guy, barry,ho makes items for the 3rd world and defense
he sez they made coded transmissions and thought no one could tap into em
btw this is fullscreen so no black bars
he goes to the glasses store and bery is there and uses a machine to record james halluscinions
barry sez all their test subjects went nuts and james is doing well and he wants to know why
he sez violence triggers the minds thing and uses a hvideohelmet like a vr thing on jimmy
in a virtual boy like red look he sees his gf and they are in a red room like the other videodrome things
he whips a tv with her on it and wakes up in his room with a iced chick tied up
he calls over the nerd and tells him to photograph whats in his bed
but theres nothing in there
att least he didnt takke a dump in bed and trick his friend into seeing it
he wants to check videodrome and nerd gets p-ssed at beign treated like a slave
he otta whip that nerda55
and p-ss on the wounds!!
he goes to the lab and nerd sez thers no tape but brought barry into
turns out; nerd was working for barry and they did this to infect james with videodrome
also nerd never watched the tapes
nerd sez he's doing this to toughen up america and show videodrome on tv
berry sez bimmy is rrrady for something new and jams a living betamax tape into bimy open torso
the wiki said this was body horror like the human centipede
they tell him to ice his partners and give them the channel and he pulls out his gun from his torso
the gun fuses with his hand and grows tentacle cables into it
imagine if it did that to his ding d0ng
then he goes into work all spaced out like da guy who iced lennnon and bllows holes in the coworkers
he hieds the gun and fakes being hurt and gf helps him escape
he goes to birans kids place and the nerd tells him to ice her
they meet and she knows hes sent to wack her as he's like their vcr they program
she shows a tape of them icing his gf and sez she was already iced and they used her image to seduce him
a gun comes outta the tv and caps him but the tv has his chest and bulletholes
the living tape comes outta hum and she sez hes the video word made flesh and she's gonna use him against videodrome
so he goes ou and the news has his face and name out asking for info in his capping those guys
he goes to the glasses place and meets a black guy named brolley (like broly from dbz?!)
he meets nerd there and nerd takes out a h-llish betamax tape to put in him
but bimmys body eats the flesh off nerds hand and he can't j-rk off anymore
also its a robot hand
he blows apart and bimmy walks out and gets to this renniseaince place club theatre at night and watches some 80s dancers
barry is on the thing and jimmy caps him
he spazzes out and his body rips apart like john carpenters the thing and his guts crawl out
the next day he goes to a boatyard and into a boat and sees a tv with gf on it
she sez videodrome is still out there and he needs to level up and digivolve
and he has to bite it to do so
then on tv we see bimmy put a gun to his head and when he pulls the trigger the tv busts
then he does it and the credits roll
the end
thst was pretty good
deep, dark, layered, and really 80s
its not got a good ending but an open one and has that good 80s gore
nowadays they'd change it and be mainstream and cookie cutter
but this was good and even thoguh its kinds hard to keep up with, its still worth a watch
goood acting and music and feels and themes
great efects too that had real effort put in em and look real and makes you wonder howe they did that
its well done and should have like a dozen cr-ppy sequels like other 80s things
for viceodrome 2 i want him to be a spirit liek being that goes through the airwaves and fights videodrome signals that try to get to tv to mutate people. then for video drome 3 i want it to be the 2000s and the world is a nucular wasteland after ww3 and videodrome has won and he's leading a resistance of digivolved people with reality bending powers to fight the videodrome and its enslaved people and both take tuns changing reality to get the edge. its also a 16 bit sega genesis, snes, atari jaguart,, tg16 ad gba game where you play as a digivolved james woods and fight like in the gba astroboy game in 2 and an strategy rpg like shining force in 3 where you lead bands of digivolved people to fight slaves.

Sunday, December 15, 2019

10 Review

note; i count better than i spell
this is my review on 10 from 1979
its got dyudlery moore, julie andrews, bo derek, dee wallace and a buncha guys i neve heard of
its directed by the guy who did victor/victoria, breakfast at tiffanys and the pink panther live action fuilms (I liked the cartoons)
I never saw this but heard of it a few times
ooh it has Brian Dennehy rom the 1st rambo movie
so it starts with these guys comming into a dark home and its a surprize party for main guy
so he's not nkeen on being 42 (jackie robinson?!) and dont like srupize partrtys
so later hes out driving in his cr-pmobile and sees men and women running and girls who pprobably give him a b0ner if englishmen had parts
so like a stalker he follows this wedding dress giel (wedding peach??) and crashes into a cop car
he raches for his glove compartment after telling the cops he has a gun and gets shredded
hes not that dumb
he gives em his license and its expired
so he gets charged with not having rehistrsation and reckless dtriving and crashes the wedding and screams when a bee stings hom, ruining the wedding
the guests string him up annd light him on fire
he goes home in a loaner car but don't tell his woman about the thing and spys on naked chicks playing pool with his telescope
1 girl he sees notices him and closes the drapes
his woman suggests he stop being a purvo and talks about 5kanks and if Briad means wh0re
they look it up and the dictionary sez its deroggetory but he sez he dont mean it dat way
she seems like a finimist
he think they are gonna b0ne but she sez it'll cost 50$ and saying sorry
for what?
using slang??
so later he watching some chick b0ning and she blows him a kiss
julie andrews his wife is singing at some thing and he trys calling her but da line is busy
later hes on da beach (is this soviet california??) with his queer homie who's sick of his brittish a55
later he talks to his black friend aboytthe wedding chick and he gives her a 11 outta 10
he jokes he'd change places with his queer homie and the black friend takes it srs
later he meets a priest to cure him of his brittishness with a blessing
jk the priest just chatsa with him about songs and plays a song
also this geezwr there falls over and poots and the dog runs out as they beat the dog when she poots
nowadays they'd make hium look evil for that
while chatting about marriage, priest sez who the chick was in the couple he just married
after calling his woman and getting a busy thing and getting hit by his telescope, he fallls down a cliff amd splatters into a pile of guts
jk he struggles up a hill cuz bbrits s-ck a55
he makee it just in time to miss the wifes call back and smashes things
later at the dentist he has 6 cavities and needs extensive work cuz brits have cr-ppy teeth
turns out the dentist is the brides dad and reveals she is going to mexicio for her honeymoon
home those lusty criminals dont drug her drink and b0ne her dead like you hear about all the time in the news when idiots go top the 3rd world for fun
imagine angels visiting dante's inferno for fun?
yeah thsere's evil monsters there and tortured souls who would give anything to escape
but ur here for a good time
later julie calls  main guy but his mouth is f'd and can't talk right
she calls da cops thinking its a purvo and they get there as hes spying on naked party and cant understand him with his accent and nub mouthg
alsso hes on pain meds and booze
that could kill him
so he writes to da cops his explaination and they accept it
laater he goes to the neighbors place as his woma comes home and finds it empty
they see eachother on telescopes and he freaks out
he cals her but she wont chat so he calls his black friend but hangs up
so he goes to soviet mexico while on drugs and alcohol
back in soviet california, juliw chats with queer homie i think about min guy and his issues
later hi mouth is better and in a booze hut at the hotel and calls for info on the bride
his woman calls and he hes he needs more time from her and she sez p-ss off
mary poppins sed p-ss off
later he call his home and his kid tell him to p-ss off
who dont the kid have a queer brittish accent?
is he adpoted?
is he evolved?
later he meets this blonde who met him at trud=man capotes party and they go to his room to b0ne
i guess he failed at b0ning as when we next see em she asks f its her fault
she tells him she b0ned this guy 16x and it didnt work
now hes married with a uncha kids
later hes on the beach and the sand is too hot for his wiener feet
he notices the bride with her hair all african style and is carried into the water by a strong guy
he chats with guys who are manlier and more american than him and later wates the bride and this guy sleeping on a surfboard
he imagines aking out with her like in from here o eternity and later a guy sez you gotta be careful as if you go out too far, the current will getcha
looks like that guys dead
later we see the iconic shot of bride running to him in the swimsuit with da hair
but its all in his head
later he goes boating and saves the sleeping surfer
tuens out its her husband an his saving him makes the news
so he plays some piano song and the blonde likes it
so he meets bride and shes nice to him
they spend the day hanging out and i think she sez her uncle b9ned her
they start bning even though they are married and her hair gets in his face among other things ruining the b0ning
her husband calls and chats wih main guy and she's kind of a bimbo and he poins out shes married for a week and is b0ning some guy she just met
shhe has no morals and just b0nes whoever she wants which even disturns main guy
she's gonna get aids
so he leaves and goes home and kid wants him to say sorry for being a p o s
he writes a love song and julie forgives him
he asks to marry her and they get alon g
later, the neighbors complain that they b0ne and let hi  watch and he dont give a=em anything to look at
then we see main guy taking ioff jukie andrews outfit through the tleescope and start b0ning
the end
that wasnt too bad
good acting and mood
good feel
good lesson that you never know what someone you crush on is rally like and it can be disturbbing
sorta like the blue bird how he goes out for joy but its really at home
but with t-ts
good comedy although it didnt really make me laugh
i thought it was well made
also, anyon ever thing the tim burton produced movie 9 could be related to this as its 9 and this is 10?
like malcom x and jason x
or 2001 nd 2012
but this was well made and has charm
for 10 2 i want it to be years later and the chick the main guy was into finds out she has aids and goes on a mission to tell everyone she b0ned. its a comedy with many aids jokes. also its an 8 bit nes, atari 7800 and lynx, gameboy. game gear, sega master system and tg16 game where you play as her and gotta find clues to where all these guys who were b0ning went and trying to get to them within a several day time limit before the aids gets you.

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Superman IV The Quest For Peace Review

Note: I spell super bad... wait... wrong movie!!
superman IV: The Quest For Peace
this is my review on supertman IV: The Quest For Peace from da 80s
its got the cast of the 1st few superman movies efore thwey bit it
its directed by Sidney J. Furie who did ladybugs and hollow point
its also got jon cyrer from 2 and a half men (the p0rn0 with a midget/hermaphrodite??) as lex luthors wiener relative
i saw parts of it in da 90s but not much since then
plus everyone sez this film s-cked
btw this superman series has a lot in common with urotsukidoji
the 1st is a regular story
2 has an extenson of it
3 and 4 isnt focused on the same things and goes kinda offtrack
5 is meant to be a sequel too the 1st 2 that starts new stuff but they canned the rest
plus 5 has the hero nearly biting it, winding up in a hospital, the kid of the 1st ones heroes savimg em, and a big plan from the original bad guy returning as the main thing
also there was a darker reboot series that followed
so after the epic superman theme, we get soviet astronaughts in trouble and superman saves em
so sm returns home in smallville and listens to a recording of his space mom telling of the bsackstory of the series and how he has a power core to the ship from krypton that can be used once
so this cowboy is there to buy his farm but sm dont wanna sell if its gonna be torn down andd a mall put up
later lex luthor (which sounds like a p0rn0 name)  is breaking rocks on the road in a chain gang and jon cryer from pretty in pink comes by in a gay a55 car
ohh ducky! no wonder molly ringwald chose the other guy
jon playing lenny luthor kills the guards by having em ride his cr-pmobile off a cliff temote control
but they survive all smoked out like loony toons
so lenny helps uncle lex get away and he wants to take out superman
gotta say, after the 90s animated seriies, everything seems inferior
so lois is in a train outta control and sm saves her
later, the daily planeet hasnt made any cash in 3 years and the owners wanna make it into a tabliod
the owners daughter is gay for clark kent and lois sez she don't think he'd like that chick
theres a summit for peace that f'd out and da pre whos totally not reagan wants to boost nucular arms making
so theres a museum that has a strand of supermans hair holding 1000lbs
lex nabs it and is gonna use it to make his own super mann
so boss daughter trys to seduce clark and lois gives clark grisswold a letter from some wiener kid who wants supeman to get rid of all the nucular arms on earth
all of em??
even the hidden ones?
and the tech to make em??
why not get all the grains of sand on the beach?!
superman wont do it (as its theft a55 hole!!) and the paper se he tells da kid to drop dead
is superman trump?
cu thats how this media is treating him
clack gets emo and goes to his fortres of solitude aND chats wirh his recordings of his people saying he shouldnt interfere
then goes home and lois comes by to chat but he walks her off da room and turns into sm and i think this is footage from sm1
he kisses her and wipes her mind and they go to some dinner thing
later sm sees that wiener kid and they go to the world preace thing or w/e
he gives a corny a55 speech and steals all the nucular weapons (which everyone is launching right now) and they all fit in 1 net that he throws into da sun
so lex works with some weapons guys to make a nuke to send to da sunn with supermans dna and make a nucular man to beat sm
i should point out that thet threat of getting nuked keeps people in line
if it weren't for nukes, the soviets and huamns would have had a big blood war that killed illions with bullets
also, Reagan's spending to boost nucular arms helped bankrupt the soviets and end the cold war
now they can't even save their own subs when they sink
so lex has a nuke launched, which means superman taking all the ukes is pointless if they can just make more, and superman sends it to da sun
it turns into an embryo and into nuclar man who has long naiils and blonde hair
shouldn't he be green?
or is dat da hulk?
meanwhile, clark and boss jr are in an aerobics class and clark acts like a spaz
good acting btw by his actor
clark and superman arre 2 seperate people
like ernest and the bad guy in ernest goes to jail (aka, the 120 days of sodom)
btw; lex speaks french and lios tries to learn french
signs of them being bad guys
so nucular man comes to lex's place as he totally knew where he lived and nucular man has lex's voice and wants to be incharge
also nucularman is powered by da sun and is useless w/o it
props to lex for making a super monster who he can stop
otherswise it would get outta conrtrol
so clark goes to boss jr for a  datr but also has a date with lios at the same time
like that sailor moon ep where mina was dating tigers eye and hawkes eye on the same hour?
clark switches between em with tricks and his powers
then lex uses a private frequency to contact superman and tell him hes gonna bust a building
sm goes to the building and lex is there and sez his real plan is to use nucular man
like; radioactive man from the simpsons?
also; is this sueprman and lex luthors kid??
he's made of ones dna and ones work
alsso he wants to make a lot of cash selling arms to the world
they try to make this look bad but really, it aint
oh no! he's gonna sell legal items!! thats racist!!
so sm fights nm and it goes through space and all over da world
nucular man uses ki blasts on the great wall like its dbz
but sm uses magic looking powerrs to fix it
to be fair; most of his powers were made up on the spot by writers
esp flight
nm goes into a volcano AND OUT OF SUNLIGHT!! to make it erupt and has no issue with it
so sm heat visions a mountain top off and plugs the volcano
then super breath blasts the vala cold
wont that have deadly fumes?!
back in space they fight and nm uses his nails like a sissy
nm steals the statue of liberty and chucks it on the city
 take that you new york commies!
but superman saves them for some reason
bytw, shouldn't it break apart from being held by 1 point and moved around
nucular man cscratches supermans neck and gives him aids and beats him
i guess the fight happened over several days as boss makes boss jr a publisher but she turns it down and boss wants to fiere losi and clark as lclark aint around in days and lois is a b--ch
lois ses clark whos sick and they talk about sm and how she lloves and needs him
so lex has made a lot of cash off selling arms and his buyers want more
lex takes ovr their company and fires the guys
so superman who's decroding uses the power core (like gradius??) to heal himself
sm faces n, and nm starts blasting the city as sm does nothing
oh nucular man is gay for lios cuz hes mpaert sm and wants her
clax tricks him into an elrvator and throws it on da moon part w/o light
but... it does get light
we just dot see it
so sm looks at the part of da moon ameica went to with its flag which was censored in the film 1st man and nm gets power back from light that got to him and fights him
he's firing ki blasts at him and wailing on him like dbz
note; dbz started soon after this
holy f this movie is from my year!!
so he kicks supermans supera55 and berrys him in moon dust
note; sailor moon started soon after this
nm returns to urth and sm brwaks out, breathes hard EVEN THOUGH THERES NO AIR ON DA MOON!! and blox out da sun with da moon as nm is flying with boss jr
he saves boss jr and dums nucular man in a nucular reactor which somehow powers the city back up
wtf is going on?!
later perry white goes to da bankers to get enuff cash to buy enuff shares to outown the new boss and fire him
he probably let the bankers b0ne him to get the cash
later superman makes a speech saying peace for earth wasnt his to give and the people need to get their govs to give it to em
big gov?!
is this the soviet superman??
so he later catches lex and lenny and sends kenny to boys town to give hi a good influence
then takes lex back to jail andsez he figuted out as nucular man was made by the su, it must be powered by it
to be fair; he's also powered by it and nm is ade of him
the end
honestly, it wasn't great and was full of logic and plot errors
but the music was good and the acting fit and it was kinda so bad its good
like if tommy wiseau did a superhero movie
i like the lighting and colors as they are not dark or dreary like modern movies made outta bad cg
yeah its the worst superman movie, but like mega man x6, its paet of a series thats pretty great
its not awful on its own, just has better options ttat outshine it
i didnt hate it but i've seen better
for superman 5 I want it to be in the distant future and superman is still mostly young but in a cyber cty of people who dont get him. also him and lois have kids and sge's all decroded and their kids have powers. lex has uploaded his brain into the computer and lives on the internet spreading rumors of superman that turn people against him. also he's building a super robot body to fight superman in. its also a 32/64 bit 3d game on aati jaguar, n64, playstation, 3do, annd sega saturn where you play as superman and gotta go through tje cyber city to save ur kids who were captured by lex's ntbots and fight malcontent teens who hate him for not being recently made.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Watership Down Review

Note: I aam the rABBIT! But I spell bad
watership down
this is my review on watchwith downs from da 70s or w/e
i never saw this but the writer also did plague dogs which i liked the movie of
huh, the director of plague dogs also did this
i did like the 00s series of this and still remember it often
it stars john hurt from aliens, Nigel Hawthorne from Domlition Man, and a buncha dead brits i never heard of
ooh, Ralph Richardson from Things to Come is in this
In otta review dat
and he was in Anna Karenina
So I hear this movie is disturbing but soviet england gave it a G rating
if those candya55es can handle it, anyone can!
i har feminists hated this book
they hate everything
i starts with a creatuonsit story like from the Bible or Go Nagai
so the rabbits bred too much and ate too much and their creator made animals into rabbit eaters
the 1st rabbit hid in a hole and their creator blessed his a55 so he could hop and run fast so he could get away
\then the animation changes and goes from creative expressionist  to relaisitc
its like the snowman, that walking on air thing, kinda
well, maye not
but it looks good
backgrounds and characters are made differently and pop
now animation is a55 and done on computers
so theres like a class system in the rabbits and this wimpy looking one fiver and his homie (bigwig??)  wanna lwave
oh its hazel
five has a vision of the field becoming blood and senses a dark future
he wants to go b4 they get iced and they speak to the cheif
he thinks they're full of sh-t and sez no but a group sets out, including bigwig whos the new leader
oh and therabbit place is st to be part of land development
they reach a river but are too tired to by by
and a dog is comming
but they find a  wood thing and the tired use it aS THE othera swim
they reach a road and bigwig knows of cars and calls em hrududu
hoodoolee doodoolee do too fast for keehah!
then a bird picks off violet
see you in h-ll violet!!
they rest at an empty house and later fight rats and an owl
sounds like a good level in a video game
watership down on Atari 5200!
so latter some rabbits are disgruntled and wanna go back\\
this fruity rabbit cowslip invites em in but fiver dont trust him
he's probably gonna b0ne em
the gang ignores fiver and finds man leaves food ot for em and fiver semses nega vibes
cowslip doesnt care for their creation stoey and tells gay poems
fiver has enuff of this sh-t annd books it
then bigwiig gets caught in a snare and bleeds out the teeth
they dig out thee snare big big wig bites it
the whole area is snared and they don't talk about it
is this a pro life thing?
like living in a place where people get iced by da gov and the general population is ok with it?
so bigwig gets better and they book it and wind up in a farm with female rabbits
they get chased out by a cat and later meet captain holly
btw fivers visions are starting to seem like final destination
he sez men fille in the burrows, gassed em, and f'd the area
meanwjile, woundwor, who's offscreen like dr claw in inspector gadget, refuses to let other rabbits leave his area
like the ussr and the berlin wall
or unions saying you gotta stay in em to get work
so they eventually find a great place to live on a high place to see everything around and  burrow in it
wyf this was rated 17+ in indonesia and r 16 in the phillipines
canddy a55es
soo they meet this soviet sounding seagull named keehawwho joins em as the fun one
so they want some chicks so they go to the farm
the owners of the rabbits see em and chase em out andd hazel gets capped
fiver dont think hazel bit it and they have the song bright eyes to fivers visions of the grrim reaper rabbit
wow, this is good
now all animated movies ae bland and kiddy
in the 80s we had bad a55 sh-t like the secret of himh or the land before time
thy were beautiful and had heart
now its just mass maketed cr-p to make a franchise to sell apps to candy a55 kids cellphones
so they get the bullets outta hazwls leg and holly tells em of woundworts soviet reublic
they mutilate rabbits for being our past cerfew and we see a rabbits ears getting torn off
nowadsys it wold be offscreen and mentioned ony, if at all
theres a chick rabbit who wants to save the others and helped holly escape
and holly got away as a train mashed up his chasers
keehaw warns em theres a team after em but bigwig stays behind
btw; ears chewed off?
;ike mike tyson??
is that where he got the idea?
do violent movies make people violent?
so bigwig joins woundwart and gets a chick of his choice and a mark cut into him to identify him
is that their circimsision??
bigwig sees the ear chopped guy who is being used as an example to the others
as this was made during the cold war, i assume this IS the ussr and woundwart is stallin
is there a mussolini rabbit too?
so bigwig chats with the chick and wants to help her and her droogs escape
btw, wountwart has a bunch of  areas under his control and has guts working forhim in charge of em
bigwig meets keehaw to st up the plan and keehaw is loud and attracts attention
so woundwart meets with bigwig asking about it but he denies it
later bigwig takes out a guard and escapes with the rabbits
they get to the meting plce, a bridge, but keehaw iis on top of the bridge as they are unde it
then it rains and the commies come to em
keehaw sees em and fights off woundwort as the good guys escape
keehaw goes off cuz he's had enuff of this sh-t
later, w w's forces are nearing the good guys home
they wonr surrnder to ww so they gotta fight
fiver has a seizure and his rantingcreep out some of wws goons as they are accurate
so some rabbits go too get a dog to fight off ww and a cat gets 1 but its owners make it let it go
cuz cats listen to human orders
ww gets in and fight with bigwig and they cuz eachother up
so the dog comes back and wastes wws men
ww goes to fight the dog cuz hes like raoh from hokuto no ken or something and narratir sez his remains were never found and he might live so parents tell their kids to be good or he'd getcha
years ater, the grim reaper rabbit invites hazel and he goes off on a journey with him like goku in dbgt with shenron
they go to their rabbit god and we hear advice about being fast and strong and smart from b4
the end
that was grand
dark but not too dark
dark in theme but not in look
good beautiful music and animation
good action and story
good acting and writing
its pretty bada55
characters bite it on camera instead of being captured like in the cgi alien
movie with he big bang theory guy Home
the bad guys are a real threat
the good guy's aint invincible
its got real stakes
way better than the crp we got animated today
to some its too dark for kids
but Robbotech had similar stuff and kids saw it
as did DBZ and that didn't screw up the kids
plus after watching Urotsukidoji, Violenve Jack and Riki-oh and Fist of the North Star, this is nothing
I loved it
its perfect
besides, they're just animals
like the transformers movie showing the autobos getting blown open
to quote dbz: he was just... a monkey...
if kids can handle star wars with lukes hand getting sawed off, they can handle this
unless they're candya55es!!
for watershipdown 2 i want it to be  afteer hazel bit it and woundworts son has amassed a force of those who liked his rule and has reganed much of his fathers turf. also he's half raccoon and is deadlier than his father. a new generation of rabbts in watership down must take on his forces and him once and fir all before he beciomes too powerful. also its an 8 bit |Strategy RPG like Shining Force on Game Gear, Sega Master System, Game Boy, Nes, TG16 Atari 7800 and Lynx where you plat as either wound wort jr's side to take over or the downs side to stop him.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Mazinger Z Infinity Review

Note: I love Go Naagai. But I still won't spell right
Mazinger Z Infinity
This is my review on mazinger z infinity from 2017(1 year after the ed of mazin saga)
I love Go Nagai but I'm more into his horror and Comedy works
He's my fave aytuor who made the Super Robot Genre as well as Magical Girl
He's so creative and made anime cool b4 it went gay in this century.
I liked Mazinkaiser thoygh
he's like a apanese paul verhoeven as he makes violent sexy swearing and nude scenes awesome things with bible refs.
i never saw this movie b4 but i hear its good
and its got the yugioh cast in it
My dad wonders if theres a <Mazinger A or B as this is Mazinger Z
It starts with the Texas Photon place under attack by Mechanizal beasts and Great Mazinger defends it.
Tetsuya Tsurugi f's em up like Violence Jack but Baron Ashura attacks and a sneak attack from underground takes out the power in America.
Then we get the theme song and a still image kinda recap of Mazinger Z.
Years later diggers (With a D ya racists!!) find a thing underground and Koji Kabuto shows up wearing a Scouter i mean D-Gazer from Yugioh Zexal.
Its revealed Tetsuya stayed a fighter but Koji became a NERD i mean  Scientist.
Turns out they found a Mazinger so huge, Mazinger Z could drive it(So like Fortress Meximus in Transformers The HeadMasters??)
A naked chick comes outta it and they check her out... I the medical thing.
Meanwhile, we hear Photon Power has revolutionized za warudo and is non-pollution and they're making a super photon plant to power all of Asia (Even the commie countries?!) and Jun Hono is preggers and Shiro Kabuto is NOT the father but train riding with her as Tetsuya is working.
Apparently the world has recovered from some great f up (Like the end of Devilman?? Post Violence Jack??) and they are gonna takw down the original Photon Power Lab.
Oh and Classic Mazinger is on display at a Museum
Shiro and Jun meet Sayaka Yumi who feels her baby belly (Pregnancy fetish!!!!) and the baby kicks.
Its been 3 years since she married Tetsuya.
wait, this isnt years after tthat fight
They go to the site and see the huge Mazinger
Sayaka wants to dump Koji cuz hes a j-rkoff.
Koji comes out with the chick who calls Koji Master like he's into SM and Sayaka don't like it.
She's a robot like Janice Em from Robotech II The Sentinels and is called the Large Intelligence System Agent and is made of ancient Mycenaean‏‎ stuff.
Also she's not really human or machine as she's mostly biological matter.
So she's Technorganic like Beast Machines.
Becauze this Mazinger is limitless, they call it: Mazinger Infinity!
Koji suggests there are alternate dimensions cuz of too much Photon Energy and they can change energy into matter and teleport cr-p.
And this is from the Mycenae Empire‏‎.
Jun gives Koji advice to get his relationship fixed with Sayaka
Then they hear that 1 hour ago the Texas plant got attacked by Mechanical beasts and Tetsuya is missing.
Was that 1 hour in real time? Or was the tie zone thing happen?
Then Dr. H-lls men come in lead by Count Brocken who survived being dead.
He has his men open fire but Lisa saves em with Sexy fighing.
Mechanicsl beats bust up the city and sayaka handles the photon lab.
her dad whos the prime minister calls sayng its the remnants of dr h-lls forces.
sayaka sez they searched the globe for em when they beat em but found nothing
in 10 days they gonn attack and he wants koji to come to the battle as a mascot.
sayaka b--ches abou how photon power should be used for peace and that koji has fought enuff over his life
koji goes to this battleship and has a photoshoot with curvy chicks the mazingirls.
the japan forces launch cgi mechs to fight the cgi mechaiinical beasts
lisa don't get how koji being there helps and sayaka whines about how the lab gives all its findings to da public in  exchange for huge budgets
but with so much photon power labs, they might not need it anymore
but she knows that freedom isn't free
so the japan forces get through the mechanical beasts but infinity is gone and a huge a55 tornado summons that has time stopped in it
how do they know that?! do they have a time scanner?!
So lisa spazzes out and hears a voice saying the one who uses infinity can replace this reality with another one of his choice if he don't like this on
Then infinity busts out and takes out the Japanese forces
koji launches to help people in a normal mech
btw, is this mega huge mech a thing on the SDF 1 from Robotech or unicron from Transformers the movie?
So Koji sees Great Mazinger is in infinitys head
infinity nukes japan with a huge beam like the sdf 1 in Robotech or nagmo In Urotsukidoji
dr h-ll comes in on screen and sez he don't wanna fight but just wants some photon power but sayaka don't trust him.
so japan starts evacuating and in her apartment, jun recalls tetsuya wanting to raise a kid in a small town
prime minister sayaka's dad talks with the leaders but they cant agree
at boss's ramen shop, koji and lisa come in as the tv sez the population don't know what to do about the cr-p going on.
Boss sez he uses Boss Borot's generator powers his shop and Lisa loves Ramen.
Boss and koji talk about how Tetsuya is alive but the gov is keeping it hush
Meanwhile the bad guys at the mine photon base are building something and are gonna power something big
they worry about lisa and koji but dr h knows koki too well and that he knows he's gonna try something.
but he orders koji to be shot on site and thinks he's not a threat without Mazinger.
but in Mazinkaiser the msanga, koji w/o his mech took him out with a headshot
tetsuya awakens but is tied up I  white thread and dr h-ll sez he controls it with his staff
tetsuya wonders why dr isn't into world domination but he sez he basically has it as the world is all focused on him now
then talks about how diversity is ruining mankind as theres multiple definitions of whats right
what is he? megatron from beast machines?!
so dr h don't think humanity deserves to exist and decides to speed up the project as he wraps tetsuya in white threads
meanwhile, at a beach, lisa sez the universe started with the big bang and branched off in to endless potential universes
although I hear science is getting ready to stop promoting the big bang as more evidence says it don't work
and if infinity uses enough photon ki, it'll replace the universe
and he's using great Mazinger as a substitute for her
lisa tells koji sayaka don't want him to fight but to be her bf and they should marry b4 the world ends
but sez it like the big bang theory nerds in big words
also lisa lisa gets emotional and wonders why she was given emotions
why? why was I programmed to feel pain?!
koji remembers how his grandpa told him to be either a god or demon with Mazinger but he couldn't choose demon
he stopped fighting but likes it and wants to get back
and he thinks cuz humans are neither gods no daemons, but have both, her creator gave her emothions to handle the power
and if he handn't gave up fighting, it might've been him where tetsuya is
and he wants to take over it with the last mazin left
wait, did the classic Mazinger z get nuked?!
btw great mazinger getting captured and used by the bad guys was done in mazinkaiser
later boss brings boxes to the photon lab in an underground tunnel and the professors there have made a giant 3d printer outta photon cr-p
sayaka meets koji in a dress and its in a secret bar in the lab
he shows sayaka the data of how infinity can replace the universe by reverse big banging it and wonder about why dr h-ll wants to rule the world
he deduces he wants to know if the universe is worth saving and if not, he'd nuke it and study a new universe
also fighting is happening all over da world and dr h-ll wont like it
koji sez hes gonna try to take out infinity as either way the result is the same or something
also he kisses sayana but we only see the shadow
btw, where's grendizer?
couldn't duke do something here?
koji sez after the war he wants to talk of their relationship but sayaka sez not to say that b4 going to war
guy in scream 1; i'll be right back!!
later jun is caught trying to jack her mech and arrested
pregnant fighter? like Castlevania legends where Sonia is pregnant the whole game?
but her baby gut kept her fight using the robot
sayaka comforts her and feels her baby belly as she's got a pregnancy fetish
so koji plans his mission to sneak through a tunnel to get to the base and take out infinity with lisa
also boss and friends use their suits to divert the enemy
so koji gets back in classic Mazinger z and uses the scrander to fly there
just then, prime minister sayaka's dad is chatting with a boat guy about the peace they try to have with dr h-ll and they see Mazinger go by
sayaka takes off too and the bad guys launch an army for the lab.
using a 3d photon printer, they make a soccer ball and boss borot uses them to naul the bad guys. comically
but it does jack sh-t and jack left town. but its just a diversion and they run off leading the bad guys away
then the mazingrils come in sexy robots and fire b00b missiles at the bad guys to blow em away
koji fights the robot army left and busts through em. why was the army busting the city?! didn't they have peace?!
oh and the Mazinger in the museum was a fake.
koji gets in the base and fights a huge a55 robot and a buncha smaller ones
its pretty bada55
oh and koji sez his armor was reinforced
oh yeah and jun is pooping out her baby
then Ashura and brocken come in on mechs based on em
Ashura mech splits in 2 and clamps on mazinger and brocken goes in for the kill
but koji detaches his pileder and nails brocken's mech with shots to make it veer off and skewer female Ashura;s mech
then reconnects and lisa uses the scrander to help
koji skewers all the mechs together and rust tornadoes em to dust
they get to infinity and try to use a program to free tetsuya but dr h-ll comes up in his own mech
they chat about if peace is good or not and if fighting is more fun and tries to get koji too join him cuz its more fun to fight for peace than keep it
dr h tries to mind control lisa but it does jack sh-t
dr's mech can do pretty much everything koji's can and it melts away mazingers super alloy new z with magic acid
Mazinger gets totally f'd but shiro saves tetsuya nd they gang blast dr h-lls mech
they stopped the countdown but dr fuses with infinity and activates it
koji and lisa are in this dimension and see infinity's core surrounded by the dr's program
also there are possible universes in there and koji touches 1 and he's in the hospital with lisa and sayaka waiting for jjun to poop out their baby
also in here lisa is his and sayaka's kid.
in reality sayaka feels like they failed
koji is back in the pileder but lisa is in the dimension and trying to give mazonger z the same power as infinity as she can't free infinity but they can fight it
she asks koji if he thinks da world deserves to exist and that dr h asked her that b4
of course koji sez yes and lisa sez she agrees and has a photo of her as koji and sayaka's kid
so Mazinger z becomes a god? what is this? dragon ball super?!
so Mazinger is back and as big as infinity and gold glowing and they beam struggle
its energy is turned to matter and it uses the massive energy to f with reality and lisa gets the staff program
koji fights infinity but gets his a55 kicked as he don't got enuff power
so lisa uses shiro and tetsuja's photon power to boost koji like its the broly movie in the 90s
then the mazingirls do the same
as does everyone on earth
what is this?! dbgt with the final dragon?!
maybe Beyblade metal furry
koji uses the ultimate rocket punch to take out infinity like its the ultimate dragon fist in dbz/gt (but not super cuz its gay) and dr h-ll gets nuked in space (so if the dragon balls revive him, he's go there).
the chojin power wears off and Mazinger is back to being all beat up
koji sees lisa in the dimension and liked the world he touched where she was his daughter
if koji and sayaka have dark hair, why does she have bright blue?
maury; koji, you are NOT the father!! its milhouse!!
black guys; ohhhhhhhhhhh!!
so koji sees how good it is to have a family and she disappears and calls him dad
so sayaka has a conference and the people think the super dimensional thing revived dr h-ll and they otta use past tech like nucular
sayaka sez how humans are small on the multiverse scale and they otta live to the fullest and build on their mistakes
the gang reunites in the hospital to see a busted up koji and koji asks her to  make a baby
she b--ches out over him saying that in front of their friends
whats the big deal? its not like he said "yo butter udders! lets b0ne!!"
so they get married and then we see kid lisa with a toy Mazinger action figure and Mazinger is restored
wait, lisa, like in Robotech? or the room?
then credits to a meaningful Japanese song with images from the movie we just saw
btw, the whole "main guy gets super stronger than the past sequel form that this replaces" was done with super Saiyan blue and super saiyan god in dragon ball super after we had gt was this had mazinkaiser before it.
same with there being a multiverse.
The end
that was quite good
sorta like the Yugioh dark side of dimensions movie for Mazinger Z
it builds on past stuff, has good flow, hood music and action
the cg isnt too bad and its got good humor and fun
its a bit meaningful with tender movents but has good action
a bit predictable but a good epilogue to mazinger z and grear nazinger
plus this had a theatrcal release in america for a bit
i think mazinkaizer had better actin and animation as it wasnt cg but this worked
good work go nagai
and I'm glad i avoided spoilers for this b4 watching
for mazinger z infinity 2 i want dr h-ll to have survived blowing to dust in space as he datatched b4 it left the atmosphere. he also has a bit of code from infiinity. using this, he makes 1 ultimate robot in space in his secret lab there and beats mazinger z in combat. koji is teleported out by lisa who has memories and powers from her past life and they wind up on duke's planet from grendizer. by the time they build a new mazinger and return, dr h has taken over earth and enslaved everyone. so its up to koji and duke to free earth from his rule in space mazinger and grendizer. also its a 2 player beat em up on ds and ps vita where you play as koji or duke and fight through the dr's waves of machines built by his slaves.