10 Review

note; i count better than i spell
10
this is my review on 10 from 1979
its got dyudlery moore, julie andrews, bo derek, dee wallace and a buncha guys i neve heard of
its directed by the guy who did victor/victoria, breakfast at tiffanys and the pink panther live action fuilms (I liked the cartoons)
I never saw this but heard of it a few times
ooh it has Brian Dennehy rom the 1st rambo movie
so it starts with these guys comming into a dark home and its a surprize party for main guy
so he's not nkeen on being 42 (jackie robinson?!) and dont like srupize partrtys
so later hes out driving in his cr-pmobile and sees men and women running and girls who pprobably give him a b0ner if englishmen had parts
so like a stalker he follows this wedding dress giel (wedding peach??) and crashes into a cop car
he raches for his glove compartment after telling the cops he has a gun and gets shredded
jk
hes not that dumb
he gives em his license and its expired
so he gets charged with not having rehistrsation and reckless dtriving and crashes the wedding and screams when a bee stings hom, ruining the wedding
the guests string him up annd light him on fire
jk
he goes home in a loaner car but don't tell his woman about the thing and spys on naked chicks playing pool with his telescope
1 girl he sees notices him and closes the drapes
his woman suggests he stop being a purvo and talks about 5kanks and if Briad means wh0re
they look it up and the dictionary sez its deroggetory but he sez he dont mean it dat way
she seems like a finimist
he think they are gonna b0ne but she sez it'll cost 50$ and saying sorry
for what?
using slang??
so later he watching some chick b0ning and she blows him a kiss
julie andrews his wife is singing at some thing and he trys calling her but da line is busy
later hes on da beach (is this soviet california??) with his queer homie who's sick of his brittish a55
later he talks to his black friend aboytthe wedding chick and he gives her a 11 outta 10
he jokes he'd change places with his queer homie and the black friend takes it srs
later he meets a priest to cure him of his brittishness with a blessing
jk the priest just chatsa with him about songs and plays a song
also this geezwr there falls over and poots and the dog runs out as they beat the dog when she poots
nowadays they'd make hium look evil for that
while chatting about marriage, priest sez who the chick was in the couple he just married
after calling his woman and getting a busy thing and getting hit by his telescope, he fallls down a cliff amd splatters into a pile of guts
jk he struggles up a hill cuz bbrits s-ck a55
he makee it just in time to miss the wifes call back and smashes things
later at the dentist he has 6 cavities and needs extensive work cuz brits have cr-ppy teeth
turns out the dentist is the brides dad and reveals she is going to mexicio for her honeymoon
home those lusty criminals dont drug her drink and b0ne her dead like you hear about all the time in the news when idiots go top the 3rd world for fun
imagine angels visiting dante's inferno for fun?
yeah thsere's evil monsters there and tortured souls who would give anything to escape
but ur here for a good time
later julie calls  main guy but his mouth is f'd and can't talk right
she calls da cops thinking its a purvo and they get there as hes spying on naked party and cant understand him with his accent and nub mouthg
alsso hes on pain meds and booze
that could kill him
so he writes to da cops his explaination and they accept it
laater he goes to the neighbors place as his woma comes home and finds it empty
they see eachother on telescopes and he freaks out
he cals her but she wont chat so he calls his black friend but hangs up
so he goes to soviet mexico while on drugs and alcohol
back in soviet california, juliw chats with queer homie i think about min guy and his issues
later hi mouth is better and in a booze hut at the hotel and calls for info on the bride
his woman calls and he hes he needs more time from her and she sez p-ss off
mary poppins sed p-ss off
later he call his home and his kid tell him to p-ss off
who dont the kid have a queer brittish accent?
is he adpoted?
is he evolved?
later he meets this blonde who met him at trud=man capotes party and they go to his room to b0ne
i guess he failed at b0ning as when we next see em she asks f its her fault
she tells him she b0ned this guy 16x and it didnt work
now hes married with a uncha kids
later hes on the beach and the sand is too hot for his wiener feet
he notices the bride with her hair all african style and is carried into the water by a strong guy
he chats with guys who are manlier and more american than him and later wates the bride and this guy sleeping on a surfboard
he imagines aking out with her like in from here o eternity and later a guy sez you gotta be careful as if you go out too far, the current will getcha
looks like that guys dead
later we see the iconic shot of bride running to him in the swimsuit with da hair
but its all in his head
later he goes boating and saves the sleeping surfer
tuens out its her husband an his saving him makes the news
so he plays some piano song and the blonde likes it
so he meets bride and shes nice to him
they spend the day hanging out and i think she sez her uncle b9ned her
they start bning even though they are married and her hair gets in his face among other things ruining the b0ning
her husband calls and chats wih main guy and she's kind of a bimbo and he poins out shes married for a week and is b0ning some guy she just met
shhe has no morals and just b0nes whoever she wants which even disturns main guy
she's gonna get aids
so he leaves and goes home and kid wants him to say sorry for being a p o s
he writes a love song and julie forgives him
he asks to marry her and they get alon g
later, the neighbors complain that they b0ne and let hi  watch and he dont give a=em anything to look at
then we see main guy taking ioff jukie andrews outfit through the tleescope and start b0ning
the end
that wasnt too bad
good acting and mood
good feel
good lesson that you never know what someone you crush on is rally like and it can be disturbbing
sorta like the blue bird how he goes out for joy but its really at home
but with t-ts
good comedy although it didnt really make me laugh
i thought it was well made
also, anyon ever thing the tim burton produced movie 9 could be related to this as its 9 and this is 10?
like malcom x and jason x
or 2001 nd 2012
but this was well made and has charm
for 10 2 i want it to be years later and the chick the main guy was into finds out she has aids and goes on a mission to tell everyone she b0ned. its a comedy with many aids jokes. also its an 8 bit nes, atari 7800 and lynx, gameboy. game gear, sega master system and tg16 game where you play as her and gotta find clues to where all these guys who were b0ning went and trying to get to them within a several day time limit before the aids gets you.