Friday, December 20, 2019

The Lion In Winter Review

note; i'm not big on england so this time imma spell wrong
the lion in winter
this is my review on the lion in winter from 1968 (the year Wyatt Moran in robotech season 2 was born)
its based on a play i never saw but is dreicted by the guy who did They Might Be Giants from 1971 and The Glass Menagerie in 1973 which also i never saw
it stars peter o tool, kathrine hepburn, anthony hopkins, john castle who was Paul McDaggett in robocop 3, nigel terry from excallibur, timothy dalton from some gay spy cr-p, and a buncha brits i never heard of
i never saw this but it won some awards or something
so it sarts with cretdits and statues and chanting
is this a sequel to the omen?!
then these 2 cavemen have a swordfight
its dad and son and dad wins
he's training him to be king and dad is king and has a lot in comon witrh king lear
the king is henry but not the one who chopped up his wives i thhik
also i think he wants to b0ne this teen and he calls his wife "the great b--ch"
then theres a jousting match and ominous chanting happens
the winner nearly wastes the foe but is stopped
so the king of soviet france is to meet the king of soviet england
ut england and france are both bad guys!
is this like edwards meeting the invid regent in robotech ii the sentinels??
the britmo solriders surround the frenchie soldiers but i think its just a vision
wait, tis not and they clash
the guy watching is the son jeffry who seems evil
i dont trust that name
i knew a guy in grade school named that who was a fat a55 who went bad
not he belongs in the ovens and to be sent up north to feed starving kids
thats all he's good for!!
later king is in his bedroom washing the aids out of his face as the teen he likes is in bed and tries to get king to think she's bad news
she sez she cant be his gf if married to his son jonny and king wonders why as his son wont mind
thats england
purvursions for all
so jeff and jon come home to the cr-ppy a55 castle for christmas
so king sez he married his wife for money as he's a brit and brits cant love as they are too unevolved(note: evolution is non canon)
then big brother anthony perkins i mean hopkins comes in and jonny sez daddy loves him best
little sh-t!
he bneeds a beat down
also kings gf sez his boys dont like him
ohhh geeee i won der whyyyyy?!
maybe cuz he's b0ning their wife???
so da queen comes in on a long possibly phalllic implued boat and is katherine hepburn, who was a malcontent feminist in real life.
she seems like kind of a b--ch in here too
she's been in jail under kings orders and i kinda see why
ohhh, she's a french queen!
no wonder shes such a c-ck sucker!!
she belongs in the ovens!
cook her and feed her to the fat kids!!
so after bashing her boys and probably giving them mental issues, king meets french king and they talk about keeping the kings gf he was sold as a peace treaty thing or if she don't marry his son, she goes home
selling humans to be butt slaves to regents
and they said america was bad for slavery
and this is the 1100ss!!
so the royals b--ch at each other and bash jeff for being a little b--ch
wait i think its johnny boy
queen jokes about king b0ning sheep and trys to hurt the feelings of kings gf by talking about other chicks king b0ned
that fat a55 king otta just eat her alive
if the brothers grimm are true, then its not out of the ordinary for the royals
super grimm bros 64
so kng sez since the last frenchie king went to h e double africa, he's had no war and got to like dominating his people
queen wants her son richie instead of jonny to be king
is this robin hood 0?
so king and queen b-ch at each other for a while on if they wanna dumpo each other and the treaty is wiggled out
wiggled out my a55!!
so king sez richie played by hopkins is gonna be king cuz hes a real man and johnny b--ches out
also soviet england stays in one piece if dicky is king
johnny goes emo and all "ohh i s-ck and everyuone hhates me" and the fam dont give a sh-t
queen thinks jing isnt fully gave up on jonny boy and jeff i think dumps johnny and sides with queen as he likes that nasty old hag
but he'd sell out anyone if he had the chance
is he edwards from robotech??
rick dont trust queen as shes just out for king and wants revenge and queen goes on abot how she seduced his dad and she regrets having kids
what a horrid c-ck sucker
sje wants some thing king got from bmarrying her back but rick sez she dont love and she used to love him
then she cuts her arm
down the street. not across the road
good f--k is she trying to seduce him??
this is f'd up
but it IS england
they're all degenerates up there
later jeff trys to get johhny to work with him to make jeff king and work with french king to take out rickard and queen
this is like with edwards trying to get the sentinels destroyed so he can rule
so kings gf b--ches about not wanting to be married to rochie or johnny and then king b--ches with queen abbout her screwing up his kids
king agrees to queens terms but she wants to have richie marry gf now
also queen trys to get king to think she b0ned his dad and king takes da bait and gets a priest
gf dont wanna but she's his property and must
king b--ches with king frenchie and its suspected he dont intend for her to marry him
theres talk of an uprising and war and such
so johnny might be king annd queen has king kiss gf in front of her as shes a degenerate
so queen gets bummed about losing to king and richie suggests wacking johnny
so after more chat king chats with frenchie about peace and its revealed that richaerd was gay with the french king
this just wennt springer
well, he is english AND french
so his other kids get b--chy and he tells em they aint good enuff to be his kids ad he wants their kids to bite it
this guy is a real sack of sh-t
wishing murder on the innocent as he hates those they love
hope he gets strung up
all these family is cr-p
and the brits love their wicked overlords
this is why i'm glad to be American
In America, its We the people. In england, its, we who are subserviant to the regent.
we should've sided with Zee Kaiser
he was 2x the han with half the arms
so lTER quren chats with gf about how she totally didnt wack someine king liked
so its diana and that teen andy b0ned
gf sez she wans queen to suffer for xmas and they hug
they turned her into a b-ch too
it spread like aids
she seems to want king back but king had enuff of her sh-t and beats her dead
all that was true except the last part
so he b--ches at her and this is kinda like that virginia woolfe movie but less depressing
he wants to dump her and marry gf so he can have a son but she sez he's had a lot of bast-rd kids
thwy b--ch at each oher about f ing up their kids
they get along a bit but she eggs him on by implying he'd decrode and his kids woyld be freaks and her choice will be king
he sez hes going to rome to get da pope to have him dump her
but she sez there would be an uprising
he sez he'd have his boys locked up to keep em from uprising and she goes on about b0ning his dad
he runs out and barfs as he was imagining his dad b0ning that nasty old hag
so king goes through the castle waking everyone up as "when the king is on his a55, nobody sleeps"
a practice still in use today by the BBFC as if 1 of those butt sodoms dont like anything abbout a movie, the whole thing is banned until its changed against the creators wishes
they banned la blue girl and cut like 15 mins from violence jack
good thing for America and Freedom of Speech
so he has his boys locke up somewhere and is gonna send queen away and marry the gf
she sez he's gotta kep his sons in the dungeon forever and if they get free they'd ice her kid
he cant keep his kids locked up but might gotta
so queen is being taken down a path and her guard and another guy fight
guard gets it i thik and they she frees her sons
wait, its to giv em knives (which are banned in england now) to ce king
wait, its for self defence yo escape but the guys wanna ive king
she sez she wanted him back and jeff sez she's gonna warn king and have em iced
then comes king with candles and a guy hilding a torch
hesez he loved em and he's not letting en out
richie gets the knife and king gets the other 2
they fight all sissy and birtish
jonny attacks but f's it up and king has a blade to his neck
queen wants him to ice his kids but he takes out his swoord and sentences em to be executed as king
he raises his sword and chops at richie but it hits sideways amd he falls
what a f--k up
this kimg s-cked
they all s-ked!!
btw him nearly knifing his kids is like in the omen
he sez hes finished wirh em and they just walk out
he sez he couldnt ice his kids and blames queen for f ing him up and h shouldve iced her years ago
something a later henry king would do multiple times
she goes emo and wantys to bite it as she just wanted him but shes a huge b--ch
so he next day he sends her back to her cage and they laff about it
that's f'd up
the end
that was f'd up
the characters are horrible people
the cast is mostly ugly inside and out
not much happens
but you know, i didnt hate it
its well filmed, well directed, well acted, well produced
it doesnt drag even though its iver 2 hous long but dont feel like it
its got good themes and shows how awful the brits and frenchmos are
its got good color and feels and good production values
good schemes and plotting like robotech ii the sentinels
i liked it but its got horrible characters
plus its hustorical so we learn some cr-p we never gonna use
now some people find it funny i come up with sequels to historical films
well they did it with clash of the titans with wrath of the titans
a non canon sequel to a real story
i mean it was so long ago, who knows what happened
for the Winter in Lion 2 i want the queen to break out and have an uprising against the king. they get help from the oppressed people who think she'd give them freedom. but she turns out to be worse than the king and has men she dont like have their parts bit off and forcefed to em cuz shes a feminist. also she has the kings arms/legs removed and keeps him as her furnature like slave. but at the end, help comes from poland and takes on her and makes the poles rule. its also a 16 bit sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, gba and tg16 strategy game like shining force where you play as the queen and lead an uprising and in the 2nd arc you play as the people fighting the forces you leveled up in the 1st one.

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