Monday, December 16, 2019

Videodrome Review

Note; i spell like i'm on vhs
this is my review on videodrome from 1983 (the year the famicom came outy in japan)
i never saaw this b4 but hear its good
its directed by the guy who did the 80s the fly and naked lunch (the p0rn0?!)
it stars janes woods, debbie harry, Leslie Carlson from the 2000s berenstain bears and 80s black christmas, Lally Cadeau from Rupert and the 90s silver surfer, Kay Hawtrey from Urban Legends, and a buncha canadians
its filmed in soviet canada and failed at the box office but is a cult film like the room (Note: the room made a lot of cash as its still in theatres)
huh, james woods is pro life and catholic and right wing
a real american
so it starts with someone watxing tvooh, efects by rick baker
he's good
so james woods gets up and goes to work getting video tapes from japanese guys
oh its p0rn0
we watches it with em and, wait, its with his bosses or w/e
the p0rn0e isnt f'd up enuff for him
wait til urotsukidoji
eye removal, bone removal, organ removal, limb removal, male organ removal, corppses barfing out guts that turn into daemnons that eat people
thats in 87
this is 4 years away from it
so later this nerd is working to get pasty a scrambler blocking his signals and they watch malaysian p0rn0
btw, in soviet canada, some p0rb0es are banned cuz they are "demeaning" to the animated females in them
can't bring cool devices into canada
live action butt hammering? no prob
but illistrustrations of sm? too much!
so later woods goes on a talk show to talk about his video store with violentt p0rn0 and how people think it makes you bad
later woods and nerd watxh an hour long thing of a guy being whipped
turns out its not malaysian, its from soviet pittsburg
later james meets a phone shrink talking to a chick who hates her sister and oh its a help radio show
later he and this chick are at his place and watch a vhs called videodrome where a chick is tied up and whipped
she likes it and sez she let someone cut her shoulder cuz shes intio sm
so they b0ne and the next day he goes to work and a chick shows him p0rn0 but he wants something more f'd up
i think shes a gypsy
he tells her about videodrome (is that related to video power or video and arcade top 10?) and she suggests he produices his own show
so ater his gf sez shes going to soviet pittsburg (like saint petersburg?!) and is gonna go on videodrome
he tells her to stay away from it cuz those guys are degenerates and too  much for her
in mexico and brazil they execute people for making underground videos and pittsburg might be the same
she then burns her left b00b with a ccigarretee
ichi the killer much??
leter jimmy meets gypsy in a foreigner restaurant and she tells him to avoid videodrome
she ez its real and they'dre really icing people for it
he wants to know more and offers to take a shower with her and he'd put her greek p0rn0 on tv
she tells him its brian o'blivion doing it (which sounds like a p0rn0 name) and he goes to this slum place and meets brians daughter
he tells her he met her dad on a talk show and she sez she shows hobos tv to help them get over their issues
she tells him her dad hasnt met anyone in 20 yeras and on the talkshow he was on a tv signal sent to the studio
i shouldve mentioned it b4
later he's at home and thinks things over b4 getting his firearm(but canada is too candy a55 for guns)
gf comes over and he slaps her and changes her dress color with each slap but it didnt happen
oh and she isnt going to pittsburg
she gives him a tape from brian and books it
he chex it out and it moves like its alive
i think its betamax
he plays it and he sez the tv screen is part of the structure of the mind and becomes reality
then he tells james that his realisty is half illusion and he had the same issue
he had a brain problem and it was caused by video
when they removed it, it was videodrome or something and he was its 1st victim
the gf is in the video and sez not to wait
then his furnature starts moving and it looks real cuz its not cr-ppy cgi
also he has an atari 2600
he puts his head on the tv screen of gfs lips and it envolops his head
it looks real cuz it is real
they put effort into effects then
next day he is at birans place and tells daughter it truggered hallucinations and he's had em since he 1st saw videodrome
she sez the signal of the tapes does damage and causes brain issues in people that cause hallucinations
he goes to see brian but hes dead and theres thouands of tapes of him tht he made b4
and he saw video as the next stap in  human evolution and his partnets iced him for not letting them use videodrme for their own ends
she gives him more tapes of brian and he watches em
btw the talking to a tape was ripped off in yugioh and this tape that kills you is ripped off by the ring
brian on tape sez the thing in the brain is a new organ that will change our reality
jimmy seez his torso opening and puts a gun in it
it looks real
but when he takes his hand out the hole is gone and he looks for the gun
then da phone rings and a guy sez a guy wants to talk to him about video drome and has a car out for him
he goes in it and they drive as a video in a car tv plays of the guy, barry,ho makes items for the 3rd world and defense
he sez they made coded transmissions and thought no one could tap into em
btw this is fullscreen so no black bars
he goes to the glasses store and bery is there and uses a machine to record james halluscinions
barry sez all their test subjects went nuts and james is doing well and he wants to know why
he sez violence triggers the minds thing and uses a hvideohelmet like a vr thing on jimmy
in a virtual boy like red look he sees his gf and they are in a red room like the other videodrome things
he whips a tv with her on it and wakes up in his room with a iced chick tied up
he calls over the nerd and tells him to photograph whats in his bed
but theres nothing in there
att least he didnt takke a dump in bed and trick his friend into seeing it
he wants to check videodrome and nerd gets p-ssed at beign treated like a slave
he otta whip that nerda55
and p-ss on the wounds!!
he goes to the lab and nerd sez thers no tape but brought barry into
turns out; nerd was working for barry and they did this to infect james with videodrome
also nerd never watched the tapes
nerd sez he's doing this to toughen up america and show videodrome on tv
berry sez bimmy is rrrady for something new and jams a living betamax tape into bimy open torso
the wiki said this was body horror like the human centipede
they tell him to ice his partners and give them the channel and he pulls out his gun from his torso
the gun fuses with his hand and grows tentacle cables into it
imagine if it did that to his ding d0ng
then he goes into work all spaced out like da guy who iced lennnon and bllows holes in the coworkers
he hieds the gun and fakes being hurt and gf helps him escape
he goes to birans kids place and the nerd tells him to ice her
they meet and she knows hes sent to wack her as he's like their vcr they program
she shows a tape of them icing his gf and sez she was already iced and they used her image to seduce him
a gun comes outta the tv and caps him but the tv has his chest and bulletholes
the living tape comes outta hum and she sez hes the video word made flesh and she's gonna use him against videodrome
so he goes ou and the news has his face and name out asking for info in his capping those guys
he goes to the glasses place and meets a black guy named brolley (like broly from dbz?!)
he meets nerd there and nerd takes out a h-llish betamax tape to put in him
but bimmys body eats the flesh off nerds hand and he can't j-rk off anymore
also its a robot hand
he blows apart and bimmy walks out and gets to this renniseaince place club theatre at night and watches some 80s dancers
barry is on the thing and jimmy caps him
he spazzes out and his body rips apart like john carpenters the thing and his guts crawl out
the next day he goes to a boatyard and into a boat and sees a tv with gf on it
she sez videodrome is still out there and he needs to level up and digivolve
and he has to bite it to do so
then on tv we see bimmy put a gun to his head and when he pulls the trigger the tv busts
then he does it and the credits roll
the end
thst was pretty good
deep, dark, layered, and really 80s
its not got a good ending but an open one and has that good 80s gore
nowadays they'd change it and be mainstream and cookie cutter
but this was good and even thoguh its kinds hard to keep up with, its still worth a watch
goood acting and music and feels and themes
great efects too that had real effort put in em and look real and makes you wonder howe they did that
its well done and should have like a dozen cr-ppy sequels like other 80s things
for viceodrome 2 i want him to be a spirit liek being that goes through the airwaves and fights videodrome signals that try to get to tv to mutate people. then for video drome 3 i want it to be the 2000s and the world is a nucular wasteland after ww3 and videodrome has won and he's leading a resistance of digivolved people with reality bending powers to fight the videodrome and its enslaved people and both take tuns changing reality to get the edge. its also a 16 bit sega genesis, snes, atari jaguart,, tg16 ad gba game where you play as a digivolved james woods and fight like in the gba astroboy game in 2 and an strategy rpg like shining force in 3 where you lead bands of digivolved people to fight slaves.

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