Saturday, April 30, 2016

Soylent Green Review

note; my typings kinda cr-ppish
soylent green
this is my revbiew for soylebnt grert
I saw it b4 in da 90s
I remember something about strawberries being over 100$$
the twist ending is already known by everyone in this centuiry
the 90s too
its become part of our Protoculture
plus all the simpsons jokes
its like the ending to planet of the apes
its set in 2022
that's like in the mega MAn years
maybe yugioh 5ds
yugioh is the 90s
gx is mid 2000s
and 5ds is at least 20 years after that
since 20 years prior to the stoery; synchros are out
andin the 10th anniversary movir(bonds beyond time) jaden don't know about synchroes
but he was cr-ppy at learning cards
also trdude (ushio) from the 90s yugioh is a cop there
but he'd be around his 40s
Richard Fleisher directed it
hes gooooooood
we start with a montage of images iof civilization
btw; its widescreen
its set in new York]
ust like planet of da apes
they mention on the radio that sotylent red ansd yellow exist
but soylent green is new and made of plankton
but we already know the trurth
Charlton heston and his room mate are cops talkin about cases
his roommate complasins how food is cr-ppy compared to older food
but heston is too young to recall the good days
like me talking about the sega genesis to candy a55 teens (who need a beat down)
Charlton heston goes out and its all overcrowded
I blame all the illegal immigration
also; this place s a smelly dump and a dirty slum
just like Detroit and Chicago after the liberals got it
maybe we otta just nu ke it and start over?
this chick gets beef from a food place and they make it seem like a big deal
beef s-cked
unless its a burger or meatload
later this jean jacket guy w/o a shirt comes to meet the chick's bf
he seems mental
he busts the bf's head with a crowbar
the guy just accepts his end
a real warrior would fight to the end
at least the mongols did
Charlton heston comes in and investigates
he also takes a bottle of booze
he as the witness write a statement and enjoys using soap/water
how odd, I avoid it
he also jacks some of the guys items
the gf sez she thinks he wanted to get iced
he grills the gf but shes not the killer
then the sanitation guys come in
they take his bodand say hes taken to a waste disposal plant
she sez her gramma got a ceremony
Charlton heston returns home and has a bag of loot he swiped
he took fruit, soap, booze, books and beef
his roommate gets bummed out over how things have sunk so low
later cherlton heston talks to his big buff black guy cop superior
all these 70s movies have a rough cop working for a big buff black guy
at least this guy isn't loud and mad
Charlton heston sez something not right about this hit
I just realized that this movie is a few years before demolition man
that was a good sci fi action film
outside; the masses of people are gathered for food and drink leke its the 3rd world
but america was 1st world
well... it used to be...
also the city has a poisoned sour air look
a bit like; the crow city of angels
he goes up in to a building looking for some chick
he talks to a black woman wearing only a robe
this really is a 70s film
shes nervous about something but hes not finding it
I think she wants to b0ne him
he leaves w/o b0ning and has food with his roommate
carlton heston hasn't eaten like this ever
they then read about the guy who got iced
he knew the guy who is governer
he had stuff with soylent, the company that has food supply for half the world
b4 he leaves he has his roommate taste a spoon he swiped from the black lady
its strawberrys
which go for 150$ per jar
I blame the unions
he later calls his black guy boss amd the boss tells a guy working for the governer\
he goes to a place full of chix and talks to the gf from b4
he sucks their cigs and drinks their ice water
he sez if he had the money he'd smoke 2-3 cigs a day
my7 yugioh buddy goes through that in a few hours(1-2 maybe)
once I asked another smoker yugioh homie if he can drain a cig in 1 drag
he said he cant, but knows a guy who can
Charlton heston talks to the gf as they get naked to b0ne
she sez her bf went to church
aftyer they b0ne, a guy comes in and beats u the chicks in the room
Charlton heston sticks up for em
the gf suggests Charlton heston spending the night but he's already b0ned her
hes tempted by the idea of a hot bath with reakl hot water
he stays and they have a hot bath togerther
later charlrton heston stops by a church andtalks to a priest about the guy who bit it
he seems kinda traumatized and spaced out
he heart the guy who bit it tell him a secret that broke his brain
back at the station the superior wants him to close the case
the elites want it
charton wont and storms out
this guiy in shades tells his boss about charlrton seeing the priest
later a guy caps the priest
the black guy always gets it in these films
at the public rations area, the people are malcontent and Charlton hestom is on riot patrol
they run out of soylent green and the people have a riot
they start b0ning the cops
then the scoops come in
trunks and scoopers that capture people
shouldn't it tear em apart?
the priest killer takes a shot at heston but hits a human in front of him
heston fights him but the guy gets crushed under a scoop
heston goes to this guy's place and brats a guy up
its the black lady's place
he sez he wont hit a cop but then hits him
Charlton kicks him in the crotch so hard he's off his feet
he sez the guy can get life in a soylent plant for that
ten sez if hes followed again hes gonna kill em both
he goes to see the gf and sez the soylebt plants are guarded
his roommate talks to some people and finds the guy who got iced knew a dark secret and got iced 4 it
the new tenant comes by for the room of the guy who bit it and he wants the gf
the roommate goes to a less crowded place and Charlton heston finds a note from him saying hes "going home"
Charlton rushes over and the roommate is in a room with his fave color
then this really widescreen display shows nature
didn't the simpsons do this?
heston makes the guy working there open the door or he'd kill him
I assume he;'d b0ne him dead
heston just watches the nature but later talks
they admit they love eachother in a non queer way
hestyon is overcome with the stuff on screen
he tells Charlton something the audience cant hear then bites it
they seem to be microwaving him
its a suicide place
just like how in the soviet replublic of Canada they allowed assisted suicide
so I guess this movie was accurate
but when a buncha gay guys or poor people suicide, they call it a "crisis"
I assume its like how eating dog is seen as bad but pig or octopus (which are vastly smarter) is ok
eating animals is good but eating animals is bad
personally I dislike dogs
hope they go extinct
I've never eaten octopus
but I hear they are smarter than apes
I had squid 2x though
it was ok
kinda chewy
but good
so the roommates corpse is taken to a place and heston sneaks a rode on a truck rooftop
in the factory he finds the bodies are made into solyent green
but a guard catchs him
he kills the guard (who probablty had a fam and friends)and bolts
he calls his work but its busy
so he calls his gf
but the call gets to his boss
they almost really talk but a gunfight breaks out wth guys chasing him
he runs but gets capped
the guy chasing him follows him into a church
its full of people
they fight and heston shanks him with a big a55 knife
his boss comes in and heston tells em hes got proof
he then sez he's seen it (which is not proof) and that since the oceans dying that slylent green is made of people
they take him out an the credits roll ito the images the roommate saw
chuck Connors was in it
and jack baur did casting
I assume its another one
for soylent green 2 I'd like for the company to have gone to trial over using people parts and with their expensive lawyers, beat the charges and now its legal to use human as food. also its done as a way of bringing back nature and they get enough votes passed and judges elected to give animals superior rights to humans so they can "restore the urth". people who have peaceful protests are rounded up under "hate speech" charges and fed to animals while still alive. the people cant take it anymore and rebolt and have a 1776 again to overthrow the animal supremacists and their plans to interbreed humans and animals to create a superior race of animal people.

Friday, April 22, 2016

The Pirate Review

note; my hands have a speech impediment
The Pirate
this my review on the pirate(the judy garland one)
ive never seen this movie b4 so this is a new experiance
ooh its fullscreen
and has good color
its got a good start
make up by jack dawn too
it starts with a chick reading a book on pirates
it has an idealist view on them
in real life they were outlaws or w/e
the chick is gay for this pitate
then the chick's mom comes in  and sez she got her a husband
don pedro
on a history show on annie Oakley i mis-saw an add for; don jeronimo as ron jeremy
I think this place is mexico or spain
later this fat guy with a moustache comes in and I think its don pedro
it is
also he looks a bit like ron Jeremy too
he meets the chick and is romantic with her
they mention paris and the chick goes gushy over it
but don pedro sez home is the best
i agree
im not big on travel
later the chick is looking at a ring don pedro gave her and she wants to see the carebiean
she thinks its romance and adventure
what about disease and crime and animals?
later this guy announces people in this entertainment thing
hes just advertizing
he mentions dogs that think like men
I assume he means furrys
since dogs cant be human
while we get to know gene Kelly, he sings a song about girls he likes
he seems a bit like joey jeremiah from degrassi jr high
charismatic and slick but nice
he keeps calling all the girls "nina" but pronounces it "ninya"
he also does some good acrobatics by climbing around the set
I miss the 80s/90s playgrounds they had made of wood/metal/plastic
they were fun and you could do that kind of stuff on em
now they tore em down 15 years ago and the newe ones s-ck
gene Kelly's dancing is good
almost fred Astaire good
after his dance, the chick comes in and she goes off on her own to see the sea
nowadays some drugged up thugs might b0ne her dead
she looks at the sea and doesn't notice gene Kelly next to her
they talk and he hits on her
she defends the don pedro when he pokes fun at him
he claims he loves her(they just met!!) and he sez in america(and englind) the lady's choose their own husbands
what year is this??
she sez its silly and later leaves
his name is; serafin
like; Seraphim?? the Highest rank of Angels?
at night the entertainers perfiorm and the chick goes after em
gene Kelly does a hypnosis trick
but his minion sez the last guy didn't wake up
I assume hes a vegetable
u microwaved his mind!!
you cut out his brain you baboon!!
he claims he wants a pure woman and takes the chick
this sounds like sailor moon
he mind controls her and sez he wants to release her spirit
hes gonna suck out her soul!!
this is black majik!!
he tries to make her love him
this is like something the sailor scouts or love angels would fight
she sez she loves the pirtate she read about
and she has lusty desires underneath her innocent outside
this is turning into la blue girl!
she sings a song about the pirate
the pirates name is; macoco
or; mack the black
they'd probably censor that nowadays
like natty bumpo turned to nathianel boone in the 90s last of the mohicans
im not sure but I think mack the black is into b0ning a lot of women
maybe for money
if he were around now he'd get the aids
that's how it spread in the 70s
and blood
but mostly b0ning
maybe that's why virgins survive horror movies?
its a ref to aids
after the song she cant wake up
so he makes out with her
then she gets her soul back and sees everyone cheering for her as shes making out
I assume they b0ned in the real version
she runs home and wants to leave the place
later shes getting married
her mom sez she can make anything come true by wishing for it
mayvbe she can create her imaginarty boyfriend mack the black?
imaghinary boyfriend?
sounds like yuguioh
how the miniskirt chick was in love with the other yugi
then the entertainers come over and the chick freaks out
she comes out to her mom about her singing in public
and maybe b0ning
her mom sez to lock the door
outside geen Kelly flirts with her and shes freakin out
so he tightrope walks across a wire to her
she tries to cut it but it dont work
he comes in and shes freakin out
he keeps trying to win her over
nowadays we'd see that as some kind of mo les tation
but here its funny
like pepe le pew
then don pedro comes in and has a whip
and hes mayor of tpwn
she complains about living like a hobo in a tent with people who act
but pirates have it worse
don pedro comes in and goes berserk at him
but the gene Kelly recognizes the don perdro as macoco
I thought he didn't exist
mack pedro almost iced the gene Kelly burt he survived
also mack the black got fat
he blackmails mack the black pedro into letting his entertainers perform
he comes down and sez to the chick that he's macoco and the real macoco pedro is at his mercy
man gene Kelly is a real horses A55 to don pedro
he calls off the pedro dons marriage and trys to steal the chick from him
then goes into town claiming to be macoco and lies about the town being surrounded by his savage men
then he fights some guys
the chick was watching btw
she has a fantasy of him in short shorts and a sleeveless open chest top dancing around and her in a bunny outfit as he fights guys
this is turning into voltage fighter gowcaizer
maybe variable geo
theres a lot fire and red
its like going to h-ll
maybe these are flashbacks from another life?>
like with zor prime in Robotech
later gene Kelly threatens to torch the place if they don't bring him the chick
is he the bad guy or something?
don pedro knows gene kelly is full of sh-t and goes off to get reinforcements
the people knowe of the power the real macoco has and are freaked out
but just by admitting he's macoco, the cops can bust his a55
she reluctantly goes out to marry the gene kelly
this fruity guy tells the chick that she told everyone that she wished macoco would carry her away in the show
the gene Kelly comes in and she comes on to him
shes got a b0nar for him
he tries to tell the truth but she reveals she only loves him for being macoco
also she hates actors
the Robotech aND yugioh actors were pretty cool
dbz actors too
well... the ocean dub actors anyway
she then starts trashing the place
I think he told her hes not macoco
I wasn't paying attention
she also whips his a55 with a sword
I assume in the real version she jammed it up there
then hes KO'ed and she gets all remorseful
she sings about how good he is
man, women flip-flop more than a crooked politician!
later the real black mack has the cops and they find a treasure chest full of stuff he stole
the cops bust in and catch him
they're gonna b0ne him dead!
the head cop flirts with the gene Kelly(hes brittish)
they bring out gene kekklys prop box and its full of jewelry
they also dont buy his story about being an actor
now he's gonna get strung up!
but we know they wont wack gene Kelly in a gene kelly movie
the chick sez that since the town said they owed her they should not have gene Kelly drawn and quartered
she then notices the ring the don pedro gave her matches the treasure in the chest
gene Kelly sucks up to the brit and sez he wants his last request to be to perform for him
the don pedro sez to hang thwe gene kellie but the brit falls for gene kellys charms
he's so smug and cocky
he sings the song "be a clown" which is just like "make em laff" from singin in da rain
its really entertaining and fun
esp these 3 black guys dance number
its sorta like kung fu
ooh, the coffee grinder!
I learned that break dancing move from the Christians kids show "TQ" (Truth Quake)
didn't know they had it in the pirate era
although I kinda felt "make em laff" was more impressive
but that was grand
then the gean kellie hypnotizes the don pederro
hope he don't b0ne him
but the chicks mom smashes his mind wipe item
then the chick is hypnotized again
they say if they wake her it might kill her
don pederrp tries to stop his black arts but the brit wants to see how it goes
she gushes over how bada55 macoco is and how cr-ppy don pedro is
isn't macoco some serial killer?
and shes lusting after him?!
that's kinda f'd up
like james Cameron's obsession with the titanic; a disaster that killed hundreds of innocents
I can see an alternate reality james Cameron where hes an aquaman villain who sinks boats to fulfill his titanic fetish
then pedro dion comes out about hoe hes the real macoco
the circus rushes and gang b0nes him and it cuts to gene Kelly having a new show; with the chick singin "be a clown"
its not as good as with the black guys
but what happened to macoco?
either he was lunched or in prison
or maybe he got off easy?
maybe they didn't believe his story cuz hes a fata55?
that was pretty good although the main character is kind of an a55
I was kinda rooting for don pedro
for the pirate 2 I'd like for the real macoco to have been found not guilty as no one believe a fata55 like him could be the killer of the seas. since his release he was training and turned that chub into beef and is now big and buff liker hulk Hogan. he resumes his pirating and hunts for the chick and gene Kelly so she will love him again. also he fights the brits and tries to free people oppressed by em

Monday, April 18, 2016

Cat People Review

note; theres typoes. I warned ya
cat people
this is my revjiew on cat people
with a title like that I assume its about furrys
but this is from the 40s
I had an idea for a film
30s furrys!
guys in the 30s who are becoming aware of their furry feelings due to mickey mouse and felix the cat.
after experimenting, they move on to b0ning farm animals.
based on actual events.
this is RKO
they did good stuff
after a quote from some guy (just like king kong) we get a chivk at a zoo or circus or w/e
a guy flirts with her as she draws something
its a puma with a sword through it
pretty bada55
they go to her place and she sez hes her 1st friend in america
I didn't notice she was a foreigner
at night (I assume after they b0ned a lot) they hear lions at da zoo nearby
she likes it and the dark
maybe shes the cat people
she has a statue of king jon of serbia
I assume shes a serb
but shes so nice!
king jon drove out the bad guys who enslaved her people but in her village were demon worshipers who jonny iced
but some escaped and do something
reminds me of demonlord dante
I personally have nothing against serbs
although they did start ww1
that malcontent iced archduke Ferdinand of Austria and his woman
then the serbs made a statue in his honor
imagine how up the but people would get if some confederate state made a statue in honor of jophn wilkes bootjh?
although the soviet republic of Canada loves that malcontent loius riel
so in the office this worker brings a cat and the serb lady don't synchro with it
cats hate her
that's racist
dogs seem to hate me
I walk within 40 feet and they go mental
also i think they can sense ki
once I was standing in a room w/ a dog and had a negative thought(but didn't move or anything) and it started yip[ping at me
at a pet shiop the birds go mental when the serb comes in
at home the guy sez to the serb most couples have kissed by now
I assume that's them covering to make us think they didn't b0ne
like in la blue girl they changed dialogue to say mikos in college insrtead of high school to make us think shes 18
serb sez shes not happy and has issues or something and the guy comforts her
at some dinner this European sez something European to her and leaves
this freaks her out
later shes unhappy cuz she wants to be his wife but as issues
women are often confusing
or irrational
they get emotionally mental for no reason
then you gotta spend like an hour comforting their fat a55
its annoying
but with it if you have a kind woman
not a bossy bratty one who bullys you
those need to get out
later shes trying to grab this bird in a cage and it bites it
so she picks it up and puts it in a b0x
later she tells the guy her bird died of fright when she tried to grab it
I say; use ur power for good!
go fight animals to save humans!
like in the woods from bears or cougars
or protect people from feral dogs!
God gave you a gift! use it for good!
later at a shrink shes hypnotized and sez shes afraid of cats
its revealed that in her village are people who turn into cats
and if they kiss a guy they love they gotta ice hi9s a55
and her mom was called a witch/cat woman(not the batman chick)
when he gets home she sees a wo man who knows her issues and was da 1 who recommended the dr
the serb is offended he shared her secret
but the guy sez he trusts her
later the guy sez he's never been unhappy b4 and now its weird
like in saint seiya how lizard misty never got hit b4
or how in "God told me to" the hermaphrodite was never hurt b4
he talks wirth the wo man who knows the serbs issues and they get comfort
at the zoo the serb picks up the key from the lock to the panther cage and returns it to the zoo guy
the shrink sez people secretly wanna do evil and she could've used the panther to do it
that's pretty dark
at night the guy trys to get her to see the shrink again but she gets mad hearing he talked with the wo man who knows her issues
he goes ourt to a diner and gets some food
te wo man who knows her issues comes by and the serb seez em together
later shes walking home alone at night and hersno one on the street
then a bus comes and hisses like a cat
also a guy seez big cat prints on the ground in mud
later the serb comes home and takes a bath
we see her back but no b00bz
she dreams of cats and king jon and a key and hearing the shrinks words
the next day she takes the key from the zoo
later she goes swimming and theres cats around
she hears big cat noises and jumps in da pool
but theres no cat in sight
then the serb come in and turns on da light
i thought it was da serb in da pool
its the wo man who knows her issues
when the wo man gets outta da pool her robe is sliced up
later she talks to the shrink about cat people
she fears rthe serb is turning into a cat and trying to ice her for her loving the serbs husband
she urges the dr to carry a heater
hes got one cuz hes a real american
he later talks to the serb and thinks shes playing a game
they always think if you dont fit in that ur faking it
real people have real fears, even if what they fear isnt real
then the guy sez he loves the wo man and wants a divorce
have they b0ned?
she tells him to go
the shrink sez u cant divore an insane person
then dont that mean yu cant marry one?
and who's to say who's insane?
arent qwe all a bit off?
im not crazy
just a bit eccentric
like tim burton or johnny depp or those caligari guys
at night rthey wait for the serb but shes not arrived
the shrink goes out
as the guy and his wo man are alone in the dark but not b0ning they get a call
but no ones there
then a panther comes in
theres 2 humans and 1 cat
if they play smart they can won
he rebukes her with the Lord and a cross and it disappears
also they say its the serb
as they leave they smell the serbs perfume
then the shrink is visited by the serb and kisses her
she becomes a cat offscreen and shreads him
if you go for its throat you can kill it
the panther that is
the serb gets away and the guy and his wo man see the body
also ther dr had a sword/cane
pretty bada55
the serb opens the panther cageand it fears herbut then jumps oyt and grazes her
oh and shes got thwe broken piece of swiord/cane in her
the guy and his wo man find her and say "she never lied to us"
the end
i liked this
good mood
if made today it would have more gore/swearing/b0ning/t-ts/cgi
for cat people 2 I'd like it to be about the Slovenian legend about people with dog heads (my grampa told me of it years ago) and its revealed their descendants are furrys today. (as for how its CAT people and about DOGS? Troll 2 was about goblins so its ok)

Thursday, April 14, 2016

West Side Story Review

note; typoes and this is a long a55 review cuz its a liong a55 movie
West side story
this is my review on west side story
I hear it won Oscars
they often give it to those undeserving
can you belive michael keaton lost he oscar to that brit cripple?
all he did was sit in a chair for 3 hours!
the oscars always reward people being disabled!
i otta act brain damaged and film it and send it to the oscars!
just drooling and j-rkin off!
so the film starts with a single color with black outlines to show newe york
that's where they recorded yugioh and pokemon and urotsukidoji
now the colors are changing
its pink
back in the 80s, hot pink was a cool color
now if you wear pink people think your queer
but in the 80s all the guys wore it
picture this; a guy with long blonde 80s hair, leather boots w/ knee plates, a pink pleather jacket w/ shoulder plate armor, a neon pink speedo, and no shirt.
back in the 80s it was rad to da X homeboy
blicketee black
mondo cool
wiggle wiggle
sometimes im just sitting at home in my speedo briefs and my leather jacket
so the color turns to red then blue then it becomes a photo of ney ork
we get a klot of looks at these big buildings
I actually went to new yorke once
I wanted to get the pokemon emerald codes from the pokemon center
but they were already on to diamond/pearl
btw this film is really widescreen
half the screen is black bars
so these new yero toughs are snapping their fingers in unison and going around being tough
but when they play bacsket ball they prance around all prissy
in the streets they prance too
until they meet a foreinge looking guy and they try intimidatijng him
I gotta say theres good color in here
the foreign looking guy gets some homies and they prance prissy too
they confront the 1srt gang(the jets) but they are scared off by reinforecements
then they plan b ball but more of the other gang confronts em
but they leave
then an escalation between 2 guys sucks other in and they have a really prissy fight
its like zoolander; they're breakdance fighting
the fight spreads all over the slum they live in
the other gang is called the sharks
funny cuz in yugioh zexal manga, Yuma's catch phrase is "jetting" and his rival is named "shark"
in the b ball court 1 guy is being b0ned dead and reinforcements arrive
then the cops break up the fight and the jets act innocent and smarta55ish
so do the sharks
the cop is sick of the teens cr-p and keeps threatening to bust some heads
I hope he cant take it anymore and starts busting these punks with a hammer!
you wont ruin MY town!! boom!
after he leaves the jets are malcontent and disgruntled over being told what to do
also is a girl with gender issues who wants to join the gang
the jet gang leader wants 1 last all or nothing fight over control of the turf
1 sensitive guy called baby john is nervous about them using blades or guns
1 guy wants to bring back this ex jet who was a founder called tony
like tony salerno; the voice of several yugioh charcters and behind the scenes guy for urotrukidoji
the teens then sing their delusions of grandur about how being a jet makes you awesome somehow
if this were made today it would have more profanity and maybe b0ning
the gang leader trys to seduce tony back into the gang life but he's \mellowed out and isn't a whiny teen anymore
he's got a job and is happy in life
the gang leader guilts him into going to a dance
also is a scene where tony pins down the gang leader and makes him say uncle
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
he sings about future hope or w/e
then we see some porto rican wo men working on a dress and the younger one wants a low neckline
I recall one pbs show was malcontent over portu rians in here not being played by real ones
no one went up the butt over anna Karenina being played by a French irushwoman or dr zhivago played by an ehygipan
at least they have russuisns in film
Slovenia isn't even mentioned in anything(except 1 3 stooges joke)
then the protorickans go to a dance and so do the jets
is this movie about a race war?
theres a weird dance like in 7 brides for 7 brothers
is this where Saturday night fever came from?
a lot of these moves are sorta kung fu
in the dance this chick and the gang leader notice eachother and things fade out around em
I assume they entered a pocket dimension
they fall in love just like that
at least in Robotech there was a build up with scott Bernard and ariel or rand and rook or rick and lisa
although they pretty much did this for max and Miriya or bowie and musica
they kiss and fade out of the pocket dimension and the shark leader is p-ssed at the jjet leader for kissing his sister
they then talk about having a meeting for a battle later
also the proto rican says racial things about the jet's gangs people
its not the gang leader in love with the chick
its tony
tony then walks home singing about his new gf(maria)
I keep thinking he should be singing; how do you solve a problem like maria
at home maria and the shark leader argue about him not letting her be free in america
just like when wiomen from other countries come over but still dress and act like the slaves they were in their home lands
the shark leader says racial things against poles
the other people in his fam/gang agree
he also says about a gurl; she's given up protu riko and is queer for uncle sam
this is turning into a p0rn0
they all then sing about america with thick accents
the woman sing with hope and the guys sing negative
im surprised no one wants this film censored foer being "racist"
if this were made nowadays there would be a lot of self hating white teens on tumbler siding with the foreigners
after the dance the shark leader talks with his gf about b0ning her after the meeting with the jets
I notice that if this were like in real life, the sharks would be speaking protutrickan with eachother and English with the americans
but then they'd need subtitles and its easier to dub it into english
then tony meets maria on the fire escape
they argue over if they belong together cuz they are different races
in Robotech; Roy Fokker (a german ancentry man) and Claudia Grant(an openly black woman) are in love in 2009 and no one treats it like its an issue
but Robotech was made and aired in the 80s
the interspecies romance has come issue, but that's mainly cuz the humans and aliens are at war
later the jets are talking and the gender issues gurl sez shes never getting married
she also beats a guy up
I think shes got xxy chromosomes
so she may eb a hermaphrodite
the cop from b4 confronts em but thwey act all smarta55ish
after the cop leaves they sing about how their problems are not their fault cuz their lives s-cked
also it mentions drugs, beatings, gender issues, hormone issues and mental illness
this would get more screen time if made today
they go into the store tony works at but tony wasn't seen tonight
they chase the owner out and talk with the sharks
they say some racial things and blame eachother
tony comes in and they escalate weapons choices until tony sez only fists
the cop comes in and gets the sharks out
also I just realized the whole "americans are perfect and only we suffer" is like how people now think only "unprivileged" people have issues and need help
the cop trys to get into on the fight to stop it but the teens are d-cks
he tells em off and insults em
those punks think they're so big
they need a beatdown
after a brief intermission, maria songs "I feel pretty"
it was also used in jack nicholson/adam sandler's movie; anger management
after the song, tony sees maria and the shark leaders gf allows it
tony sez he made the fight a 1 on 1 fist fight (like street fighter/fatal fury/world heroes/voltage fighter gowcaiser) so its safe
maria wants him to stop it all together
they then talk about their parents and play make believe with clothes
they then have a fake wedding like with Rick and Minmei in Robotech
afterward everyone sings a song at the same time in different areas about different things
reminds me of nightmare b4 xmas
the gangs meet for the street fight and they don't really make contact
tony tries to break it up but it makes things worse
tony fights the shark head but doesn't attack
1 jet slugs out the shark head and they whip out switchblades
in a fight you gotta spam jump kicks
maybe ki blasts
but here thety just dance around
the jet leader almost gets the shark leader but tony stops him
then jet head gets shanked
so tony shanks shark head
then the cops are coming and everyone scatters like bust when you turn on the light
teen a55 punks
btw this is marias fault
she thinks she knows how to fight
things would've been better w/o her screwin it all up
it would've been a clean fistfight
its like when ur mom sez "don't ride your bike w/o your feet on the pedals" wen she cant ride a bike
or she don't want you watching a horror movie cuz its got people run through meat grinders and getting deboned
its like how in England when those frooty bbc commies don't like something they ban it in all England
hear that moms?!
don't censor us!
or ur as bad as England!
so maria finds out her bf iced her bro
she goes mental on him but he explains and she forgives him
at night baby john is crying and traumatized from seeing those guys sliced apart
I bet in the real version instea of just getting shanked  they tugged the blade and sliced em open and their organs spilled out on the floor
the jets miss their head and are bummmmed out over it
after some disputes, they sing a song about being coooooool
in other words, hide your emotions
they're gonna build preassure and pop and go around b0ning people dead
later the shark head's gf walked in and finds tony b0ned maria
shes malcontent and says racial songs about "stick to your own kind"
as my dads a Slovenian and my moms from soviet Poland, you'd think I'd find this song offensive
but im not easily offended
nor will I go on a G haad against it for saying something I disagree with
unlike all those malcontents online
as an american I believe in freedom of speech
unlike tumbler
buncha candy a55 commies
maera sez she loves tony and then the cop comes by and questions her
at the store tony works the head is getting cash for tony to skip town and the jets are in it
the shark heads gf comes by but the jets treat her like they treat the rest of the porto Ricans
a but lighter actually
she wants to see tony but they toss her around a bit
I think in the real version theyre \b0ning her
afterward shes p-ssed at em and hates their whole race
she lies to them about a guy finding out about tony and maria and he capped her
the boss of the store tells tony maria bit it
he runs out wanting to go to h-ll to be with maria calling for the guy who capped maria to get him
in Canada assisted suicide is legal so legally he's doing nothing wrong
but Canada's kinda f'd up
he sees maria and ruins to her but gets capped by some thug
the gangs arrive and watch him go to h-ll
maria gets the gun and goes on a tirade about how they killed her butt buddy with hate and now she hates
then the cops show up
she tells em not to touch her butt buddys corpse
I assume she wants to b0ne it
some jets carry his corpse out and we het really well done credits on graffiti where you can easily see who was in it and the graffiti don't overpower it
the credits graffiti catches your attention
despite being kinda frooty this was a well done film
well made and with good color and music
too bad its widescreen
for west side story 2 I'd like for it to be set 20 years in the future in the distant futuristic year of 198X. the gang war has gotten worse and the whole city is a wasteland of violence and b0ning like in Urotsukidoji 3 4 and 5. the jets and sharks have new and more violent leaders and order attacks on anyone helping the other gang or not helping them. and the cops are at the limit from all this violence and b0ning. the new mayor of new York sez the cops have the right to do whatever they need to protect the peace, so they start using machine guns and flamethrowers on the gangs. the new mayor is officer krupke from the 1st movie with battlescars all over and spring blades built into his body. then in west side story 3, maria tries to return to the pocket dimension and reveals that she was behind the rise in gang violence to collect enough fallen souls to reopen the gate to see tony again. but instead it opens the gates of h=-ll and new York becomes infested with daemons who corrupt it. and only the high priests of new jersey can seal the h-llgate by sending new York back to h-ll.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Treasure Island Review

Note; its got bad spelling but you can figure ourt what I mean
Treasure Island
this is my review on treasislamnd(the 30s one)
I know the muppets did one but I never realluy saw any muppets movieas
but I recall the Alvin and the chipmunks version
they aolso did robocop
but w/o swearing/blood/gunz/nudescenes/gore//violence
but unlike the cr-ppy remajke, it was good
its directed by victer fleming
he dud grand things
walice beery
he was pretty mean
didn't he kill some people?
the film starts with someone having a birthday
theyre celebrating like normal people in the Castlevania days
this kid named jim is malcontent cuz a little girl sez he made a cake
he sez only girls make cakes
that's racist against men
I think hes a femminist
then theres a storm and they go inside
too bad they don't have a sega
I had a dream a bit ago where there was something and this tv exploded
I heard you shouldn't play video games iin a storm or lightning will hit the thing and the overload will blow up yo tv
im not sure how accurate it is
but my mom said her cousin in the 90s(born in the 80s) had it happen
its like the candyman legend
we all know someone who sez they know someone had it happen
then these pirates come in to the place and 1 tells jim a sea man with 1 leg is doing something
he then has rum
he seems drunk and slurs around loud and jolly
he also draws his sword when someone wants to go home
he mumbles on about killing people and maybe b0ning em
reminds me of when rob ford got drunk and talked about having a WWF death match with a guy
I'd kill him! I;'d poke his eyes out! i'll f him when he's dead!
and all these buttmo's wanted him arrested for ATTEMPTED MURDER!
I think attempted murder required an attempt to murder
not talking about a hulk Hogan rage in a cage death match
im surprised they didn't call him a necrophililiac
he did say he'd f him when he's dead
maybe those commies didn't wanna associate him with necromance?
maybe they have a lot of necro friends?
better necrophililia than anorexia
no one dies from b0ning a corpse
no one is hurt
I mean saying necriomance is harming the dead is like saying eating a burger is abusing the dead cow
necromance is natural
animals do it
only humans have necrophobia
so the drunk guy sings of 15 mean on a dead mans chest or w/e
sounds like necr-0 p0rn0
later some guys come looking for the druink but he's having withdrawl from lack of booze
that's awful
that's a sign of severe damage
he needs rehab
alcohol kills more people than necromance
he's worried about being found cuz someone wants his treasure that has
pieces of 8
pearls as big as ostrich eggs
and gold
the boy jim meets a blind guy who gives the drunk a note
the drunk freaks out and falls down the stairs
he bits it
jim goes to take the cash the drunk owes em friom is treasuere but his chest is full of junk
jim and mom find a package in it and run as pirates bust in
the blind guy sez he should've torn off the kids arms and popped his eyes
a dr arrives and the pirates scatter
the pacage jim took is a teasure map
one rich guy wants to go for it
the dr is afraid of 1 man but cant say it cuz the rich guy canrt keep a secret
they get a ship ready and a 1 legged guy joins em
hes called long john silver
that sounds like a p0rn0 name
and since he's missing a leg he might do amputee p0rn0
he's made the cook and has charisma
he also teaches jim
I suspect long john siolver is Asian as his name is long(dragon)
long takes jim to a bar and shows em his droogs
also long has a parrot
I hear andrew jacksons parrot used a lot of profanity
imagine going to a pet store and getting the birds to say awful things
ahh! poop fetish!
don't b0ne me!
I had aids the whole time!
so jim starts a growing friendship with long
kinda like me at the yugioh turny where the teens look up to me and my bada55 decks and skills
or syrus and tyranno looking up to jaden in yugioh gx
then they set sail
jim and long talk and jim wants long to live with him but long sez he cant
they also practice spitting and long gives jim advice
being European decended, I spit a lot too
my dads dad and my moms mom spat
long and jim see porposes off the side of the boat and say its a good sign
then someone bites it
they find an island
I went to whiz but I don't think I missed much
long talks with some guys about some stuff but I don't really get it
jim out the guys to the captain but feels bad about rattin on a homie
the guys with long are sent to the island but jim comes along
hes disgruntled and runs off to the jungle
on the island guy is killed offscrean but we hear it
I think they b0ned him dead
then another guy
jim finds a Christian living on the island looking like a caveman
hes been there 3 years and was left there by a boat
after the Christian give jim info jim don't get, the ship opens cannon fire on the island
I guy (I think the dr) puts up brittish flag on the island while those on the boaty raise a pirate flag
 im confused who is on what side
lomg wants to talk with the previous captain and they meet
long wants the map and is offering to let them live
sounds like a union thing
u give up what we want and we let you continue living
the captain disagrees and sez hes gonna cap him next time he sees him
why not just cap him now?
also I gotta say this is a lot better than that cr-ppy Disney film treasure planet
Robert Louis Stevenson would roll over in his grave if he saw that
pretty sure walt Disney would too
they've really gone downhill in shows
now its just live action cr-p and bad cgi
at least ducktales and datkwing duck had good animation and video games and music and acting
star wars episode 7 is star wars GX
its a new generation of teens with the original series characters making cameos
so theres a gunfight and some people bite it
afterward jim gets a gun and goes out and boats to the ship
he gets a blade and starts cutting the anchor rope
this is like if spy kids wasn't cr-p
a kid doing something that save the adults
but no bad puns or culture refs
that's why 30s films set in the Castlevania days are timeless and modern ones s-ck
the next day jim wakes up on the boat and apparently everyones high or hung over
he tells a guy he's the new captain but the guy laffs it off
jim also takes down the pirate flag
the guy gets a knife and hides it and jim reveals his plan of going where the treasure is
he gets up and reveals hes not wounded and trys to shank jim
but the boat crashes
jim and the guy have a chase and they climb the ropes
in the 80s/90s there were playgrounds with ropes or metal chains you could climb on
then som,e dumb a55 teens were messing around and got hurt
so they tore down all the good playgrounds and replaced em with cr-ppy super-safe ones
a lot of kids got fat from not having a place to go for fun outside
its like banning all cars cuz some jacka55es drive drunk
jim caps the guy chasing him and when he returns, long sez they signed a treaty and the guys left
I assume hes just covering the fact he killed em and b0ned the bodies
like saying a guy who was just blown to bits with a ki blast is "sent to another dimension" in the edited dub of dbz
the kid don't buy it and sez he ruined their plans, outed em, and took their ship
long defends jim from the pirates and has he map
later long tells jim he wants to ice more of his own men cuz he don't wanna share the treasure
I was reading the yugioh wiki but I don't think I missed much
I think some of the guys killed by long are but jim didn't out longs plan cuz he promiced
nowadays he'd not care about a promice but back then people had honor
I keep my promices
the dr saves jim or something and in the Christians cave is the treasure
turns out long was a double agent and was working for the captain the whole time
but the captain wants him arrested and lynched
in da brig, long gathers some items and jim visits him
turns out the captain is gonna string him up b4 returning to england
long guilts jim into helping him by describing how lynchings go
jim legs him out and helps him escape
he tricks jim into getting him a heater and clubs the Christian on guard out(as he's the only man on there)
he sez the Christian guy is drunk anf got the head wound from falling
he sez hes gonna be honest to the jim but his bag of gold falls out
they say bye and long goes off in a boat.
the end
quite a grand film
I think my dad read me the classics illustrated comic but I don't remember it
for treasure island 2 I'd like for long john silver to return to his moms homeland of china and find that the bits are invading and selling drugs to children. even though he's half brittish, he knows the evil they can do and becomes a cop to bust brits dealing drugs. also he gets a cybernetic leg that keeps cr-pping out cuz its made in china and their products break easy(look at those cr-ppy phones apple makes with slave kids in the 3rd world for pennys a day between mo lest ation breaks in deadly conditions! I hope apple goes down HARD! esp since jobs went back to h-ll! they've ruined the worl;d with their cr-ppy phones that people get addicted to! and phones are NOT video game consols! you cant use a touch screen as a D-pad! it don't work!). also, jim was sent to prison and b0ned a lot for helping long escape and long goes on an adventure to save him in treasure island 3, which is also a prison movie with shower scenes and much b0ning.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

The Kings Speech Review

note; pretty sure theres typoes in  here
the kings speech
this is my review on the kings speech
its set in the soviet republic of ing-lind during some war
a while ago I saw "the north star" with erich von Stroheim about the noble soviets fighting the evil germans
when talking about it with as descendent of a ww2 survivor, he said many soviets fought against the soviet union to free it from their evil(as it was the greater of the 2 evils in the war)
after the soviets won, the brits gathered the survivors and sent em back to the soviet lands to be tortured dead
maNY commited suicide rather than be b0ned dead by commies
im not supporting the axis though
I'm polish
but -40 is colder than -20
it starts with the deviant bbc delivering a speech from the brittish regent
its the 20s so its the 1st time a regent will be on air
he takes along time to start and is pretty cr-ppy at public speaking
suck it up candya55!!
u fail!
its the regents younger brother
later hes smoking and thinks its gonna fix his cr-ppy speaking
the fruity voice trainer has him use marbles in his mouth and he nearly swallows 1
in Pygmalion this was funny
here its depressing
also I gotta say theres a lot of ugly people here]
and the weather is pretty cr-ppy 2
no wonder theyre so evil
their country s-cked so much they wanna dominate the good ones
like america!
where people are free and not oppressed by the deviant regent
later Helena bonam carter (tim burtons baby-momma) finds a fruity dr who she wants to fix ghis cr-ppy talkin
he treats her like a normal person but when she spills its for her regent appointed duke husband he changes his tune
he then sez he needs "trust and total equality" to cure him
but in England no ones equal!
later the cr-ppy speaker is hangin with his fam
I believe 1 of em became the queen and had her son's wife and other women iced for defying her
but England blocks dog the bounty hunter from entering cuz a lifetime ago he capped a guy and paid his debt to society
way to make sense brtimo's!
later the fruity dr auditions for Richard the 3rd but they turn his a55 down
spoiler; lupin the 3rd was better!
later they regent fam comes in and this kid with a bad studder invites em in
the fruity dr seZ he could hardly talk b4
sounds severely disabled
the cr-ppy talker and the fruity dr talk and the cr-ppy talker can hardly communicate
wtf is his major malfunction?!
is he inbred or something?!
oh the cr-p[ppy talker is a prince
the fruity dr sez the prince shouldn't smoke but the prince sez his drs (who were knighted) say its good
just like global warming commies believing lies and getting support for their status
the prince don't like having to be on equal terms with a normal human
the prince also reveals he don't carry money
but Rasputin sez you should always have money in case you meet someone in need
they bet the prince can read from a book w/o studdering the dr wins a shilling
I assume that's a $ in real money
the fruity dr has the prince reada microphone while listening to headphones
after dat, dr prince leaves and sez its not 4 him
but he gets a recording of his voic\e
at Christmas the king gives a radio speech and whines about having to consort with the common man via radio
he also hates his 1st son for being in love with a woman with 2 ex husbands
this king is kind of a d--k
this is why Washington fought off the brits in his steam powered mech against the brits demon body transformations in 1776
the prince tries to speak but his dad busts his candy a55
later he listens to the recording and its real talk w/o studder
he and his woman return to the frooty dr and they talk
we then get a training montage of his weird trix to help him talk real
if this were an 80s movie it would have kickin 80s tunes instead of classical music
later the king is brain damaged from too much b w/e and is gotten to sign away something
I assume the new king has a b0ning ritual to b0ne him and gain his king powers and eating him with his parts while b0ning him
later the king bites it and probly goes straight to h-ll for his countless evils against the people
1 guy crys but the other brits don't show emotion
it comes from not having souls
later the frooty dr is talking shakespere to his son
prince comes in and sez his dad sed he had more guts than his brothers combined (but the dad said it when the prince was out)
his brother is now on the throne and the prince is glad he don't gotta have responsibilities or a real job now(not that being the regent is a real job)(you just b0ne anyone you want and leach off the tax dollars while wacking those you hate and oppressing the people)
also the prince was a cripple b4 and needed forest gump braces as a kid
wasnt forest gump inbred?
and the pronce had a cr-ppy childhood and it f'd him up
his brother had epilepsy and bit it at 13
the rents had him locked away like the man-woman in pet semetary
what a horrible family
its like how j fk's dad had his sister lobotomized for being slow
another horrible family
yet the people loved em
despite the assassinations and dark deeds
also the noble kaizer Wilhelm had worse
his arm was destroyed in a birth accident and he had long rehab to try to make him use his dead arm
also his cousins hated him for his grampa doing something years ago
too bad america didn't suppot zee kaizer
he might've prevented ww2 and communism
later the prionce is mental over his big bro being in love with someone and its not kingly
although king henry divorced a lot of chix
later in therapy with the fruity dr the king finds he don't studder when swearing
so he starts going tourettes and making sodomy references
sounds like me watching shakespere
later its said the new king has tio dump his woman he loves or give up leading england
I'd give up England for my gf
shes worth wayyyy more to me than a frooty country of weeners w/o many rights!
this better to serve in heaven than rule in h-ll
yes, I just compared England to h-ll
maybe England could become a free country with human rights and equality w/o being dominated by a deviant regent
nahhh! thay cant give up that
its like the soviets giving up corruption
or poles giving up potatoes and pickles
or america giving up freedom and guns
or Canada giving up inbreeding and interspecies romance
so the new king goes off to live with the woman he loves instead of ruling a buncha losers and the people they oppress
its like trading a secret rare gil garth for a common crush card virus
now the prince who cant talk for cr-p has to lead englind
the prince now king gives a speech and pretty much s-cked hard
when talking with his wife he breaks down cuz he knows hes a cr-ppy king
his woman comforts him
on a poster it sez "God save the king"
from what?
are there daemons after his candy a55?
might be a generational curse
for the sins of his ancestors
he talks with his forty dfr a he don't gotta be afraid of the thing he was at 5
as a kid I was intimidated by castle of illusion on sega and only played it on easy
over a decade later I decided to take it on
by this point I had beat adventuires of batman and robin, battletoads and maximum carnage
I crushed it like an insect under my heel
later I think the king finds the frooty dr has no official training and isn't a real dr
but he's got real experience and got training from helping ww1 vets
typical red tape that prevents good people from doing good
this is why big guv is bad
the prince goes mental and when the frooty dr sits on a chair that some dead guys sat on he gets mad
I bet in the real version he hulked out and bit off the dr's arm and b0ned his a55
he also sez he has a "divine right" to command and order people around being king
also he b--ches about king George 3 losing a war and it being bad
that was the war of independence you commie!!
its like saying slavery ending is bad
but when the good guys win the bad guys gotta lose
later the prince and his fam are watching newsreel of his coronation and e's impressed by hitlers good speaking skills
then chaimberlin quits realizing he's basically given in the hitler by being politically correct and respecting es
now churchhills gona\na come in and kick a55
the only manly brit
so the new new king has to give a speech and has his frooty dr come over
they train but the king is still pretty cr-ppy
he has an existential crisis and starts freakin out and swearing and singing
he's gonna go mad and nuke the slums!!
after meeting with the Churchill(who sez he had a speech issue) he goes to give his speech
after much suspence he gives the speech and its got long pauses in it like he's reading it while typing it
the people are glad their regent gave a decent speech and an epilogue sez the king and the froty dr were friends forever.
the end
not bad a film
it shows the awfulness of the royalty and their elitist attitudes
for the king's speech 2 like it to be set after the war and the soviets and axis have wiped eachother out. with England now the ruler of the wastelands over Europe, they start plans to take down japan(who survived with a peace treaty with america to save em from the soviets) and they use their slave Canada to try to bring down america to keep em from helping em. its revealed that japan has an ancient secret in its land that has a power to destroy a continent. after america nukes Canada, they and japan take on England with the help of the kings brother who has been cured of his brittishness and wants to help defeat the country that is attempting to wipe out all life on earth except England (esp Ireland and Scotland since they openly hate em)

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Captain Horatio Hornblower Review

note; I spell pretty cr-ppy and my comp s-cked
captain horatio hornblower
this is my review on captain horatio hornblower
the 50s one with Gregory peck
that title sounds like a p0rn0 btw
or maybe a bad marvel comics character
david o seklznik worked with this
hes grande
and this seems to be based on a book
just like riki-oh
and its directed by Raoul walsh
he blew out lincons brains in birth of a nation
in 1807 the noble hero napoleon was going to bring down the deviant brits but the brits had their minions from all over their stolen empire returning to fight the heroic napoleon
this seems to be about the ship of people forced to serve the English regent on one of the boats returning
they are running out of water and captain hornblower seems to be some kind of ubermenche who needs less water than humans
then they punish the men/slaVES for untold reasons
they tie em up and whip em
this is getting x rated
horbblower is having a guy whipped cuz his minion sed he'd whip him and didn't
this is to make the minion feel bad
hornblower is played by Gregory peck
I though his only villain role was in the boys from brazil
the dr sez they wont last long w/o going to land
but capn hh don't wanna go to land or be seen cuz it might ruin his mission
sacrifice men for a mission against their consent
I knewe the brits were evil
they have no wind so they use men/slaves to drag a boat
hh sez they'll be there in 2 days
at night the wind picks up and slaves pulling the boat
this reminds me of the movie mutany on the bounty
but from the pov of the deviant brits
the next day they find a fortress which HH mentioned b4
they find a place in Spaniard turf where a prince of spain has betrayed his people to side with the brits
this Mexican comes on and sez he's the high command and wants HH top come to to the fortress to meet the prince
hh gives the keys to his command thing to a guy and sez incase he's not back by midknight do something
the prince is arrogant and sees humans as below him
just like other nobility
he wants a lot of firearms and weapons and hh sez his boat is ordered to bust the fortress if he's not back in an hour
hh asks for an obscene amount of food and stuff in the amounts of tons
then a slave sez theres a Spanish warship with 60 guns coming
also the prince wants to take over america and tries to get HH to side with him
btw this film is in color and fullscreen
its grand
no black bars or high def
I hate that stuff
4;3 4ever
at night HH sez he wants some of his minions to share dinner with him
also they worship king george
the guy who america beat and earned its freedom from
latrits attack the Spaniard ship by sneaking on braod ansd swordfighting em
they capture em and chain em up
I assume they b0ned em too
HH sez he is giving he boat to the prince
the prince comes on and wants to kill the captured men
but HH already took care of em
he also sez his signal is 23 guns
HH sez the kings signal is 21 guns
why is the king greater than any human?
this seres makes anyone daring to challenge the regents supremacy as mad or evil
they come across another ship and find that the Spaniards have turned on napoleon and side with the brits
then they introduce Virginia mayo who was captured by the Spaniards and is sister to a duke
HH don't want her ion his boat but she just came from panama and theres aids there or something
they then set sail to fight the ship they just gave to the prince
hh's men tell mayo hh is a kind man but he yells for them to come to him
Gregory peck is pretty bad a55
like a not as evil megatron
hh tells mayo to stay below decks as his men haven't seen a wo man in 8 months
nowadays they'd go prison gay
then they fight the prince on his given boat
this is actuially pretty cool
he uses skill and planning to overcome a superior foe
like using mystical space typhoon on the equipped monster when thousand eyes restrict attacks your attack mode monster
running into a wall of swords
hh's boat takes a pounding though
theyre flag gets knocked off so they devote time and effort into setting up a new flag
in battle the surgeon bit it so the lady is treating the wounded
 the enemy ship blows apart in a fire ball and theres a long scene where a uy bites it in the wo mans arms
later hh seems to be falling in love with mayo but he finds shes gonna marry a man in England
also she was sick but recovered
after a montage of hh spending time with mayo, we find hh is married
but they still b0ne
he wants to end it but she is still into him
at land a fellow brit in the servitude to the regent bashes hh for giving away the Spaniard boat
I think its her bf
hh returns home to find his wo man bit it
and hes got a new son
his wo mans letter to him sez shes wished he spent more time with his fam instead of at work all the time
if it wernt for the regent he wouldntve been at sea for 15 years
he meets with and sez bye to mayo and goes off to sea again
they go to fight the heroic warrior napoleon to stop him from freeing Europe from the regent
they find a frenchie and hh threatens the info out of him that leads him to figure out that theres a cavalry attack by the superior napoleon
they go to a harbor and bust the masts of the ships napoleon was gonna use
they have a counter attack and shred the boat with cannonfire
hh gets his leg busted
hh decides to sink his boat to cause boating issues for napoleon
he busts the floor with a cannon
they swim to land but get captured
it wasn't hh who busted his leg
its his minion
his men get to return to emnglandf and he and his minion are to be tried as pirates
but then the base is under attack
hh doesn't take a chance to escape cuz his men are there and he wont leave em
seems noble but what about his son?
but the carriage theyre on has its wheels fall off and hh shoots a frenchie
he carrys his wounded homie and they run off
they go through frenchie lands and try to get back to englind
they find some dutchies and take their clothes to get access to shipping areas
they are offended to see convict labor
but englind does it too!
worse even
and these convicts are brits
they kill the captain frenchie and they get the brit convicts to take down the French officers
they make it home and he's offered a chance to go somewhere but he goes to see son
then they see mayo and they ge ether cuz her man bit it
the ends
that was pretty good
despite being from englands side
for captain horatio hornblower 2 I'd like for it et 15 years later and napoleon is still at war with England. after mayo is eaten alive by order of the king for helping a wounded frenchie, hornblower and his son realize that they are serving a madman. they begin a resistance to take down the regents rule from within and start an uprising to free England from his rule. also Americas and japan have sided with napoleon and are wearing down the regent's forces. in an epic battle, hornblower opens fire on an English ship and turns the tide of battle for the heroic napoleon and friends. when the regent confronts him its revealed he was created with the dna of the manliest warriors in history and he black arts so hes the only manly Englishman. his son helps him in combat to slay the regent and he is named the prez and new ruler of englind (now called new Austria) to help people forget the evils of its past