West Side Story Review

note; typoes and this is a long a55 review cuz its a liong a55 movie

West side story

this is my review on west side story

I hear it won Oscars

they often give it to those undeserving

can you belive michael keaton lost he oscar to that brit cripple?

all he did was sit in a chair for 3 hours!

the oscars always reward people being disabled!

i otta act brain damaged and film it and send it to the oscars!

just drooling and j-rkin off!

so the film starts with a single color with black outlines to show newe york

that's where they recorded yugioh and pokemon and urotsukidoji

now the colors are changing

its pink

back in the 80s, hot pink was a cool color

now if you wear pink people think your queer

but in the 80s all the guys wore it

picture this; a guy with long blonde 80s hair, leather boots w/ knee plates, a pink pleather jacket w/ shoulder plate armor, a neon pink speedo, and no shirt.

back in the 80s it was rad to da X homeboy

blicketee black

mondo cool

wiggle wiggle

sometimes im just sitting at home in my speedo briefs and my leather jacket

so the color turns to red then blue then it becomes a photo of ney ork

we get a klot of looks at these big buildings

I actually went to new yorke once

I wanted to get the pokemon emerald codes from the pokemon center

but they were already on to diamond/pearl

btw this film is really widescreen

half the screen is black bars

so these new yero toughs are snapping their fingers in unison and going around being tough

but when they play bacsket ball they prance around all prissy

in the streets they prance too

until they meet a foreinge looking guy and they try intimidatijng him

I gotta say theres good color in here

the foreign looking guy gets some homies and they prance prissy too

they confront the 1srt gang(the jets) but they are scared off by reinforecements

then they plan b ball but more of the other gang confronts em

but they leave

then an escalation between 2 guys sucks other in and they have a really prissy fight

its like zoolander; they're breakdance fighting

the fight spreads all over the slum they live in

the other gang is called the sharks

funny cuz in yugioh zexal manga, Yuma's catch phrase is "jetting" and his rival is named "shark"

in the b ball court 1 guy is being b0ned dead and reinforcements arrive

then the cops break up the fight and the jets act innocent and smarta55ish

so do the sharks

the cop is sick of the teens cr-p and keeps threatening to bust some heads

I hope he cant take it anymore and starts busting these punks with a hammer!

you wont ruin MY town!! boom!

after he leaves the jets are malcontent and disgruntled over being told what to do

also is a girl with gender issues who wants to join the gang

the jet gang leader wants 1 last all or nothing fight over control of the turf

1 sensitive guy called baby john is nervous about them using blades or guns

1 guy wants to bring back this ex jet who was a founder called tony

like tony salerno; the voice of several yugioh charcters and behind the scenes guy for urotrukidoji

the teens then sing their delusions of grandur about how being a jet makes you awesome somehow

if this were made today it would have more profanity and maybe b0ning

the gang leader trys to seduce tony back into the gang life but he's \mellowed out and isn't a whiny teen anymore

he's got a job and is happy in life

the gang leader guilts him into going to a dance

also is a scene where tony pins down the gang leader and makes him say uncle

I assume they were b0ning in the real version

he sings about future hope or w/e

then we see some porto rican wo men working on a dress and the younger one wants a low neckline

I recall one pbs show was malcontent over portu rians in here not being played by real ones

no one went up the butt over anna Karenina being played by a French irushwoman or dr zhivago played by an ehygipan

at least they have russuisns in film

Slovenia isn't even mentioned in anything(except 1 3 stooges joke)

then the protorickans go to a dance and so do the jets

is this movie about a race war?

theres a weird dance like in 7 brides for 7 brothers

is this where Saturday night fever came from?

a lot of these moves are sorta kung fu

in the dance this chick and the gang leader notice eachother and things fade out around em

I assume they entered a pocket dimension

they fall in love just like that

at least in Robotech there was a build up with scott Bernard and ariel or rand and rook or rick and lisa

although they pretty much did this for max and Miriya or bowie and musica

they kiss and fade out of the pocket dimension and the shark leader is p-ssed at the jjet leader for kissing his sister

they then talk about having a meeting for a battle later

also the proto rican says racial things about the jet's gangs people

wait

its not the gang leader in love with the chick

its tony

tony then walks home singing about his new gf(maria)

I keep thinking he should be singing; how do you solve a problem like maria

at home maria and the shark leader argue about him not letting her be free in america

just like when wiomen from other countries come over but still dress and act like the slaves they were in their home lands

the shark leader says racial things against poles

the other people in his fam/gang agree

he also says about a gurl; she's given up protu riko and is queer for uncle sam

this is turning into a p0rn0

they all then sing about america with thick accents

the woman sing with hope and the guys sing negative

im surprised no one wants this film censored foer being "racist"

if this were made nowadays there would be a lot of self hating white teens on tumbler siding with the foreigners

after the dance the shark leader talks with his gf about b0ning her after the meeting with the jets

I notice that if this were like in real life, the sharks would be speaking protutrickan with eachother and English with the americans

but then they'd need subtitles and its easier to dub it into english

then tony meets maria on the fire escape

they argue over if they belong together cuz they are different races

in Robotech; Roy Fokker (a german ancentry man) and Claudia Grant(an openly black woman) are in love in 2009 and no one treats it like its an issue

but Robotech was made and aired in the 80s

the interspecies romance has come issue, but that's mainly cuz the humans and aliens are at war

later the jets are talking and the gender issues gurl sez shes never getting married

she also beats a guy up

I think shes got xxy chromosomes

so she may eb a hermaphrodite

the cop from b4 confronts em but thwey act all smarta55ish

after the cop leaves they sing about how their problems are not their fault cuz their lives s-cked

also it mentions drugs, beatings, gender issues, hormone issues and mental illness

this would get more screen time if made today

they go into the store tony works at but tony wasn't seen tonight

they chase the owner out and talk with the sharks

they say some racial things and blame eachother

tony comes in and they escalate weapons choices until tony sez only fists

the cop comes in and gets the sharks out

also I just realized the whole "americans are perfect and only we suffer" is like how people now think only "unprivileged" people have issues and need help

the cop trys to get into on the fight to stop it but the teens are d-cks

he tells em off and insults em

good!

those punks think they're so big

they need a beatdown

after a brief intermission, maria songs "I feel pretty"

it was also used in jack nicholson/adam sandler's movie; anger management

after the song, tony sees maria and the shark leaders gf allows it

tony sez he made the fight a 1 on 1 fist fight (like street fighter/fatal fury/world heroes/voltage fighter gowcaiser) so its safe

maria wants him to stop it all together

they then talk about their parents and play make believe with clothes

they then have a fake wedding like with Rick and Minmei in Robotech

afterward everyone sings a song at the same time in different areas about different things

reminds me of nightmare b4 xmas

the gangs meet for the street fight and they don't really make contact

tony tries to break it up but it makes things worse

tony fights the shark head but doesn't attack

1 jet slugs out the shark head and they whip out switchblades

in a fight you gotta spam jump kicks

maybe ki blasts

but here thety just dance around

the jet leader almost gets the shark leader but tony stops him

then jet head gets shanked

so tony shanks shark head

then the cops are coming and everyone scatters like bust when you turn on the light

teen a55 punks

btw this is marias fault

she thinks she knows how to fight

dumba55

things would've been better w/o her screwin it all up

it would've been a clean fistfight

its like when ur mom sez "don't ride your bike w/o your feet on the pedals" wen she cant ride a bike

or she don't want you watching a horror movie cuz its got people run through meat grinders and getting deboned

its like how in England when those frooty bbc commies don't like something they ban it in all England

hear that moms?!

don't censor us!

or ur as bad as England!

so maria finds out her bf iced her bro

she goes mental on him but he explains and she forgives him

at night baby john is crying and traumatized from seeing those guys sliced apart

I bet in the real version instea of just getting shanked  they tugged the blade and sliced em open and their organs spilled out on the floor

the jets miss their head and are bummmmed out over it

after some disputes, they sing a song about being coooooool

in other words, hide your emotions

they're gonna build preassure and pop and go around b0ning people dead

later the shark head's gf walked in and finds tony b0ned maria

shes malcontent and says racial songs about "stick to your own kind"

as my dads a Slovenian and my moms from soviet Poland, you'd think I'd find this song offensive

but im not easily offended

nor will I go on a G haad against it for saying something I disagree with

unlike all those malcontents online

as an american I believe in freedom of speech

unlike tumbler

buncha candy a55 commies

maera sez she loves tony and then the cop comes by and questions her

at the store tony works the head is getting cash for tony to skip town and the jets are in it

the shark heads gf comes by but the jets treat her like they treat the rest of the porto Ricans

a but lighter actually

she wants to see tony but they toss her around a bit

I think in the real version theyre \b0ning her

afterward shes p-ssed at em and hates their whole race

she lies to them about a guy finding out about tony and maria and he capped her

the boss of the store tells tony maria bit it

he runs out wanting to go to h-ll to be with maria calling for the guy who capped maria to get him

in Canada assisted suicide is legal so legally he's doing nothing wrong

but Canada's kinda f'd up

he sees maria and ruins to her but gets capped by some thug

the gangs arrive and watch him go to h-ll

maria gets the gun and goes on a tirade about how they killed her butt buddy with hate and now she hates

then the cops show up

she tells em not to touch her butt buddys corpse

I assume she wants to b0ne it

some jets carry his corpse out and we het really well done credits on graffiti where you can easily see who was in it and the graffiti don't overpower it

the credits graffiti catches your attention

despite being kinda frooty this was a well done film

well made and with good color and music

too bad its widescreen

for west side story 2 I'd like for it to be set 20 years in the future in the distant futuristic year of 198X. the gang war has gotten worse and the whole city is a wasteland of violence and b0ning like in Urotsukidoji 3 4 and 5. the jets and sharks have new and more violent leaders and order attacks on anyone helping the other gang or not helping them. and the cops are at the limit from all this violence and b0ning. the new mayor of new York sez the cops have the right to do whatever they need to protect the peace, so they start using machine guns and flamethrowers on the gangs. the new mayor is officer krupke from the 1st movie with battlescars all over and spring blades built into his body. then in west side story 3, maria tries to return to the pocket dimension and reveals that she was behind the rise in gang violence to collect enough fallen souls to reopen the gate to see tony again. but instead it opens the gates of h=-ll and new York becomes infested with daemons who corrupt it. and only the high priests of new jersey can seal the h-llgate by sending new York back to h-ll.