Thursday, April 14, 2016

West Side Story Review

note; typoes and this is a long a55 review cuz its a liong a55 movie
West side story
this is my review on west side story
I hear it won Oscars
they often give it to those undeserving
can you belive michael keaton lost he oscar to that brit cripple?
all he did was sit in a chair for 3 hours!
the oscars always reward people being disabled!
i otta act brain damaged and film it and send it to the oscars!
just drooling and j-rkin off!
so the film starts with a single color with black outlines to show newe york
that's where they recorded yugioh and pokemon and urotsukidoji
now the colors are changing
its pink
back in the 80s, hot pink was a cool color
now if you wear pink people think your queer
but in the 80s all the guys wore it
picture this; a guy with long blonde 80s hair, leather boots w/ knee plates, a pink pleather jacket w/ shoulder plate armor, a neon pink speedo, and no shirt.
back in the 80s it was rad to da X homeboy
blicketee black
mondo cool
wiggle wiggle
sometimes im just sitting at home in my speedo briefs and my leather jacket
so the color turns to red then blue then it becomes a photo of ney ork
we get a klot of looks at these big buildings
I actually went to new yorke once
I wanted to get the pokemon emerald codes from the pokemon center
but they were already on to diamond/pearl
btw this film is really widescreen
half the screen is black bars
so these new yero toughs are snapping their fingers in unison and going around being tough
but when they play bacsket ball they prance around all prissy
in the streets they prance too
until they meet a foreinge looking guy and they try intimidatijng him
I gotta say theres good color in here
the foreign looking guy gets some homies and they prance prissy too
they confront the 1srt gang(the jets) but they are scared off by reinforecements
then they plan b ball but more of the other gang confronts em
but they leave
then an escalation between 2 guys sucks other in and they have a really prissy fight
its like zoolander; they're breakdance fighting
the fight spreads all over the slum they live in
the other gang is called the sharks
funny cuz in yugioh zexal manga, Yuma's catch phrase is "jetting" and his rival is named "shark"
in the b ball court 1 guy is being b0ned dead and reinforcements arrive
then the cops break up the fight and the jets act innocent and smarta55ish
so do the sharks
the cop is sick of the teens cr-p and keeps threatening to bust some heads
I hope he cant take it anymore and starts busting these punks with a hammer!
you wont ruin MY town!! boom!
after he leaves the jets are malcontent and disgruntled over being told what to do
also is a girl with gender issues who wants to join the gang
the jet gang leader wants 1 last all or nothing fight over control of the turf
1 sensitive guy called baby john is nervous about them using blades or guns
1 guy wants to bring back this ex jet who was a founder called tony
like tony salerno; the voice of several yugioh charcters and behind the scenes guy for urotrukidoji
the teens then sing their delusions of grandur about how being a jet makes you awesome somehow
if this were made today it would have more profanity and maybe b0ning
the gang leader trys to seduce tony back into the gang life but he's \mellowed out and isn't a whiny teen anymore
he's got a job and is happy in life
the gang leader guilts him into going to a dance
also is a scene where tony pins down the gang leader and makes him say uncle
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
he sings about future hope or w/e
then we see some porto rican wo men working on a dress and the younger one wants a low neckline
I recall one pbs show was malcontent over portu rians in here not being played by real ones
no one went up the butt over anna Karenina being played by a French irushwoman or dr zhivago played by an ehygipan
at least they have russuisns in film
Slovenia isn't even mentioned in anything(except 1 3 stooges joke)
then the protorickans go to a dance and so do the jets
is this movie about a race war?
theres a weird dance like in 7 brides for 7 brothers
is this where Saturday night fever came from?
a lot of these moves are sorta kung fu
in the dance this chick and the gang leader notice eachother and things fade out around em
I assume they entered a pocket dimension
they fall in love just like that
at least in Robotech there was a build up with scott Bernard and ariel or rand and rook or rick and lisa
although they pretty much did this for max and Miriya or bowie and musica
they kiss and fade out of the pocket dimension and the shark leader is p-ssed at the jjet leader for kissing his sister
they then talk about having a meeting for a battle later
also the proto rican says racial things about the jet's gangs people
its not the gang leader in love with the chick
its tony
tony then walks home singing about his new gf(maria)
I keep thinking he should be singing; how do you solve a problem like maria
at home maria and the shark leader argue about him not letting her be free in america
just like when wiomen from other countries come over but still dress and act like the slaves they were in their home lands
the shark leader says racial things against poles
the other people in his fam/gang agree
he also says about a gurl; she's given up protu riko and is queer for uncle sam
this is turning into a p0rn0
they all then sing about america with thick accents
the woman sing with hope and the guys sing negative
im surprised no one wants this film censored foer being "racist"
if this were made nowadays there would be a lot of self hating white teens on tumbler siding with the foreigners
after the dance the shark leader talks with his gf about b0ning her after the meeting with the jets
I notice that if this were like in real life, the sharks would be speaking protutrickan with eachother and English with the americans
but then they'd need subtitles and its easier to dub it into english
then tony meets maria on the fire escape
they argue over if they belong together cuz they are different races
in Robotech; Roy Fokker (a german ancentry man) and Claudia Grant(an openly black woman) are in love in 2009 and no one treats it like its an issue
but Robotech was made and aired in the 80s
the interspecies romance has come issue, but that's mainly cuz the humans and aliens are at war
later the jets are talking and the gender issues gurl sez shes never getting married
she also beats a guy up
I think shes got xxy chromosomes
so she may eb a hermaphrodite
the cop from b4 confronts em but thwey act all smarta55ish
after the cop leaves they sing about how their problems are not their fault cuz their lives s-cked
also it mentions drugs, beatings, gender issues, hormone issues and mental illness
this would get more screen time if made today
they go into the store tony works at but tony wasn't seen tonight
they chase the owner out and talk with the sharks
they say some racial things and blame eachother
tony comes in and they escalate weapons choices until tony sez only fists
the cop comes in and gets the sharks out
also I just realized the whole "americans are perfect and only we suffer" is like how people now think only "unprivileged" people have issues and need help
the cop trys to get into on the fight to stop it but the teens are d-cks
he tells em off and insults em
those punks think they're so big
they need a beatdown
after a brief intermission, maria songs "I feel pretty"
it was also used in jack nicholson/adam sandler's movie; anger management
after the song, tony sees maria and the shark leaders gf allows it
tony sez he made the fight a 1 on 1 fist fight (like street fighter/fatal fury/world heroes/voltage fighter gowcaiser) so its safe
maria wants him to stop it all together
they then talk about their parents and play make believe with clothes
they then have a fake wedding like with Rick and Minmei in Robotech
afterward everyone sings a song at the same time in different areas about different things
reminds me of nightmare b4 xmas
the gangs meet for the street fight and they don't really make contact
tony tries to break it up but it makes things worse
tony fights the shark head but doesn't attack
1 jet slugs out the shark head and they whip out switchblades
in a fight you gotta spam jump kicks
maybe ki blasts
but here thety just dance around
the jet leader almost gets the shark leader but tony stops him
then jet head gets shanked
so tony shanks shark head
then the cops are coming and everyone scatters like bust when you turn on the light
teen a55 punks
btw this is marias fault
she thinks she knows how to fight
things would've been better w/o her screwin it all up
it would've been a clean fistfight
its like when ur mom sez "don't ride your bike w/o your feet on the pedals" wen she cant ride a bike
or she don't want you watching a horror movie cuz its got people run through meat grinders and getting deboned
its like how in England when those frooty bbc commies don't like something they ban it in all England
hear that moms?!
don't censor us!
or ur as bad as England!
so maria finds out her bf iced her bro
she goes mental on him but he explains and she forgives him
at night baby john is crying and traumatized from seeing those guys sliced apart
I bet in the real version instea of just getting shanked  they tugged the blade and sliced em open and their organs spilled out on the floor
the jets miss their head and are bummmmed out over it
after some disputes, they sing a song about being coooooool
in other words, hide your emotions
they're gonna build preassure and pop and go around b0ning people dead
later the shark head's gf walked in and finds tony b0ned maria
shes malcontent and says racial songs about "stick to your own kind"
as my dads a Slovenian and my moms from soviet Poland, you'd think I'd find this song offensive
but im not easily offended
nor will I go on a G haad against it for saying something I disagree with
unlike all those malcontents online
as an american I believe in freedom of speech
unlike tumbler
buncha candy a55 commies
maera sez she loves tony and then the cop comes by and questions her
at the store tony works the head is getting cash for tony to skip town and the jets are in it
the shark heads gf comes by but the jets treat her like they treat the rest of the porto Ricans
a but lighter actually
she wants to see tony but they toss her around a bit
I think in the real version theyre \b0ning her
afterward shes p-ssed at em and hates their whole race
she lies to them about a guy finding out about tony and maria and he capped her
the boss of the store tells tony maria bit it
he runs out wanting to go to h-ll to be with maria calling for the guy who capped maria to get him
in Canada assisted suicide is legal so legally he's doing nothing wrong
but Canada's kinda f'd up
he sees maria and ruins to her but gets capped by some thug
the gangs arrive and watch him go to h-ll
maria gets the gun and goes on a tirade about how they killed her butt buddy with hate and now she hates
then the cops show up
she tells em not to touch her butt buddys corpse
I assume she wants to b0ne it
some jets carry his corpse out and we het really well done credits on graffiti where you can easily see who was in it and the graffiti don't overpower it
the credits graffiti catches your attention
despite being kinda frooty this was a well done film
well made and with good color and music
too bad its widescreen
for west side story 2 I'd like for it to be set 20 years in the future in the distant futuristic year of 198X. the gang war has gotten worse and the whole city is a wasteland of violence and b0ning like in Urotsukidoji 3 4 and 5. the jets and sharks have new and more violent leaders and order attacks on anyone helping the other gang or not helping them. and the cops are at the limit from all this violence and b0ning. the new mayor of new York sez the cops have the right to do whatever they need to protect the peace, so they start using machine guns and flamethrowers on the gangs. the new mayor is officer krupke from the 1st movie with battlescars all over and spring blades built into his body. then in west side story 3, maria tries to return to the pocket dimension and reveals that she was behind the rise in gang violence to collect enough fallen souls to reopen the gate to see tony again. but instead it opens the gates of h=-ll and new York becomes infested with daemons who corrupt it. and only the high priests of new jersey can seal the h-llgate by sending new York back to h-ll.

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