Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Moon Is Blue Review

note; I spell cr-oppy
the moon is blue
this is my review on the moon is bloo
I recall it being a big deal in the m*a*s*h* ep[ where the guys wanted to see it cuz its really 18+
at the end they said it was clean and the Priest said; they do say "virgin". and a guy joked ; "that's cuz everyone is one"!
in sonic games pretty much everyone is a virgin and everyone likes those
although theres a lot of 18+ fanart of them b0ning
ooh, the catholics of the 50s thought this was immoral
I'm sure they had a good reason
although family guy is pretty much p0rn0 compared to it now
its fullscreen
no black bars
it starts in this building and this chick is w;alking around
she goes into a store and walks out
a guy follows her
he loses her in the elevator but he persues
she goes to the  the building ad looks o the vewmaster or w/e the looking thing is
he catches her andf talks to her about mild things
hgives her cash for paying for her ticket after saying to the woman he was her b\f and he paid for hers
im not sure how dat worx
she sez she feels for poors in brooklyn
shes from brooklin
I assume she escaped those slums and rose to become a higher rank
like jack atlas in yugioh
the guys button falls off but she finds it and sews it back on
but he dropped the needle and they go to his office
hes an archetect
like art vandelay
they look  a needle cuz he knows his secretary has 1
when he did his 1st building it was a cr-ppy brick warehouse and he used to drive over there and stare at it
that sounds unbalanced
I think hes some kinda mental patient
he offers to take her to a steak place but she usually goes for spaghetto
spoiler; spaghetti is better than steak
you don't gotta chew it for 5 mins per bits
on the way to the club he offers to bring her to his apartment
but she don't wanna go
he might try to b0ne her
he sez he wont try anything and she believes him
her dads a cop
hes gonna stick a night stick up his a55 for b0ning his kid!
she reveals shes a virgin and he seems creeped out
in wedding peach they had that concert about "virgin love" whwere the chix dressed in pleather miniskirts and high heels
in his apartment a chick wrote "stinker" on his mirror
I assume it was c=== s==ker in the real version
also she don't wanna smoke or drink or do drugs or b0ne
this sounds like me
she asks if he has a mistress and he goes mental over it
its like in the room where tommy wiseau asks greg sestero; any wai hao eez yoor secks laif?
greg sestero sez he cant talk about t and tommy wiseau sez; wai nott??
also he broke up with a girl in the apartment last night and she wrote stinker
she worked on a tv show that's gonna be on again at midknight but shes gonna be asleep by then
also the guy don't eat meals in his own place
she makes him a shopping list
she calculated hes exactly 1/2 her age + 7
and shes 22
do da math homie
later a brit comes in and flirts with her
she asks if the ex gf is a "pill" but the brit sez shes his daughter
then sez she is a "pill"
and the main guy played "fast and loose" with her affections
we're like 40 mins in and nothings really happend
nowadays thered be more crassnesss and b0ning
she asks the brit if his daughter is pregnant cuz that's what fathers worry about
he sez no
after more talking the main guy comes back and they dispute with the brit
but the girl fixes it
the brit is mad about his kid spending a night with the main guy
the brit sez his kid sed the main guy "did her wrong"
the main guy sez he never touched her and the brit is somehow not happy about that
then the daughter comes in and whines
the main guy sez when he dropped the daufghter oof she came back to him cuz she saw her dad b0ning a younger woman
they dispute using football metaphors
like in life with louie where his dad tried to explain breeding with a flaming minefield in france(ww2)
the daughter goes out down the fire escape In the rain
during dinner the girl gets ketchup spilled on her b00b so she goes to change
and when changing the daughter sees em and goes back in upstairs
at dinner the brit sez his ex wife was being a d-ck so he smacked her a55 with a muffon thing and she claimed it caused damage
the daughter calls and is taking a bath and sez if he wont come see her shes gonna suicide
he goes out and they share an elevator
I assume theyre b0ning in it
the brit asks the gurl to marry him
but she sez no even if hes the last man on urth
he sez if he was the last man, all the women would be fighting to be his woman
sounds like a bad street fighter clone
the top women have a tournament to see who gets the last man
asnd each woman is a fetish
like giantess, fat, buff, big feet, ect
they talk about if he marrys heer the the daughter will be her daughter(whes 3 years older than her) and if the main guy marrys the daughter she'd be his mom in law
that sounds like a weird cult family tree
theres something about the brit offering the girl money but I wasn't really paying attention
the daughter and main guy return but the daughter starts listening in on the girl and her dads convorsation
also the girl and the brit smooch
but she did something wrong so they do it again
and again
then the main guy returns and sees em
after some disputes he goes off and she's worried of him thinking shes a tramp
the brit sez she should let him think bad things and wonder cuz it makes him more aroused
sounds like the human centipede how the 1st one was normal and the 2nd showed everything
the main guy returns and talks to the girl
she eggs his suspicions on with him thinking the girl and the brit were b0ning
but she stops and they talk
he sez he don't think the brit asked to marry him but just wanted to b0ne her
she gets offended and runs out
then a big guy comes in and looks through every room
when he sees the girl changing he slugs out the main guy
its her dad
he brings her home and leaves the brit and main guy alone
the brit and main guy tlak and the main guy watches tv
later she comes back and the daughter calls
the main guy explains that people who advertise being a virgin are wanting to sell
my mom sez I shouldn't tell others imma virgin cuz people might wanna a55 raepe me
then the brit comes back
after some fun, and the girl hiding for a bit, the brit sez something that offends her when he didn't know she was listening
she gives back his money and he don't want it but he takes it back
she then has some booze and smokes
shes trying not to be so nice
like a malcontent teen
the main guy leaves and the brit gives her good advice
later the girl and main guy meet at the building and talk
they kiss and make up
then agree to marry
the end
that was tamer than shows from the 90s
but I liked it
the issue the catholics was its use of the word
in my experience, its better to be a virgin
you survive horror movies and lessen the chance for aids
back in 87 I almost got aids
I was born too much Bilirubin and was so jaundice I was yellow
I needed a transfusion and being the 80s, my rents worried of me getting the aids
I was ok though
for the moon is blue 2 I'd like it to be set in the distant future year of the 1980s and cuz of aids, their daughter is the last woman on earth who can breed. her grand dad wants her to marry the strongest man so he can protect her from the wasteland warriors and holds a fighting tournament to see who the strongest is. the movie follows several glam rocker/bodybuilders fighting in the tourney to win her hand. but also are some daemons who wanna ruin the last pure human bloodline by getting her pregnant with daemon babies.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Easy Rider Review

note; I probably will have typ[oes
easy rider
this is my rev iew on easy rider
ive never really seen it b4 other than the last few mins
ooh, its a biker movie
I loved mad max/fist of the north star and violence jack
its got jack Nicholson and dennis hopper(bowser/koopa from the super Mario bros movie and the guy from water world)
it starts wityh bikers going to a mexico bar
they speak mexicoese and theres no subturles
the bikers are offered and do blow(cocainum)
I assume theyre the bad guys
as all arcade m machines said in da 90s; winners dont use drugs
then theyre at a airport and have a box of drugs
1 guy snorts blow
he gives it to someone and they get a load of cash
then we get a song about using drugs
the dealers get motorcycles and drive off into the wastelands
we then get the opening credits to the song "born to be wild"
I didn't know that song was from the 60s
I thought 80s
they drive around and when a private citizen declines them using his motel they begin swearing
so they start a fire in the wasteland and do drugs
I wouldn't want druggie bikers in my home either
they might b0ne me dead
the next day they wake up and are in burned out ruins of a village
they walk over to a farm and meet some good cowboys
1 cowboy agrees to fix his flat tire
but the horse is scared
it can sense the demons in them that got em when they were on drugs
they have dinner with the cowboy and his fam
they admit to being from l a
I've seen the crow city of angels
tatace tes infwerno
they compliment hfor being independent and drive off
we get another song
this is like the transformers movie(1986) with all its songs
along the way they pick up a hitch hiker
I wonder when the good guys come in
we just got these druggie bikers
I assume they killed and ate/b0ned the family they were with offscreen
at a gas station the druggies worry about the gas guy finding their drugs in the gas tank
not sure what happened to the hitch hiker
I assume they killed and/or b0ned and/or ate him
oh wait, he's back
teres another song about taking a load off "fanny"
I always thought they said "manny"
maybe the captions are off
at night they start a fire in the wastye land and talk with the hitch hiker
hes going to mardi gras
also theyre doing drugs
all this film is, is drugs and time wasting and songs
its like a millennial just wrote his diary and they made it a movie
but added traveling and bikers
cuz 2 dudes smoking chronic in their toilet and burning things isn't good for a film
they stop at some trailer area and1 druggie plays cowboy with the kids
it seems to be some small town like in pokemon or phantasy star
but I think these guys are hippies
to think; these kids would be voting Reagan in a decade or so
also are actors who are over the top but not like tommy wiseau
the hippies came there and planted crops after a failed winter andf assumed cannibnalism
after planting they pray but I'm not sure to whom
they then sing a song about "does your hair hang low"
but I always thought it was "do your EARS hang low"
and maybe sometimes nipples
do your nipples hang low?
do they wobble to and fro?
do ya tie it in a knot?
do ya tie it in a bow?
1 druggie wants to leave but a chick and her chum wanna go across the canyon
hope they don't jump it
well, they ARE on drugz!!
they go swimming nuude in a river pool
I assume they b0ned
the hitch hiker gives a biker a small item(computer chip?) and they go to marti gras
they get locked up for parading w/o a permit
wait I think its just a normal parade
in prison they meet jack nickleson and don't like him
the guards are nice to him but not the bikers
jack stands up 4 em and they like him
jack dont know what the term "dude" means
he otta watch bill and ted
jack sez they shaved the heads of the last 2 hippies in there
I assume they had parasites
jack is a lawyer and gets em off easy
jack shares his booze with em
but they might have hippie b0ning diseases
jack goes with em to a wh0re h0use amd on the bikes does tricks and stunts like in a tony hawk game
they have a fire in the wasteland and offer jack drugs
he turns em down and gives good reasons for not doing it
but gives in to peer preassure
1 biker sees a thing in the heavens
might be space daemons
jack tells em about the daemons living among hu mans and his info on em being commies
and the guv being hiding it
how did jack get this info?
I think he's got conecktions
the next day they drive as a drug song plays
then another song plays
I think its sung by a blackguy
they go to a restaurant and people comment on them
the chix are into em
but the sherriff and a redneck are ready to bring em down
other townsfolk poke fun at em
the bokers leave and the chix follow
they leave and start a fire in the wasteland and whine about people fearing em
maybe if biker gangs didn't attack towns then people wouldn't be afraid of em
I saw that marlin brando  film of him as a leather bi ke r
jack thinks the people are afraid of freedom and how "free" the druggie bikers are
I think hes on drugs
at night some guys beat em up with sticks
I think jack nicholson bit it
I suspect they were so drugged out they b0ned him dead
they go to a restaurant and then some kind of wh0re h0use
the editing is rather weird
some h00kerz come in and 1 wants the tall one
giantess fetish!
the other guy d0nt wanna b0ne so rthey go see mardy gras
its done in low res film
this looks like a weird 80s anime thing with its weird costumes
the next day they pray and theres trippy effects
also 1 chick gets nude
and 1 guy b0nes the other chick
this is like the tape from the ring
1 girl wants to get pregnant
I think theyre being f'd with by daemons
that's the  doing drugs
they drive off as if nothing happened and the next night start a fire in a wasteland
1 druggie sez theyre rich and the other sez they blew it
the next day theyre driving and some rednecks drive by
he gives the rednex the finger and they cap his a55
theother biker drives at em but is capped too
the end
not much happened in that film but I was entertained
like watching people do weird stuff on youtube
for easy rider 2 I'd like for the bikers to have been rebuilt by the space demons following em but as the bodies were damaged, they combined both bodies with each being half and them having 2 hot dogs and 3 butt cheecks. they also have motorcycle parts added to em and use the weapons to fight the redne\cks who killed em b4. in here the red necks are heroes fighting the space daemons invasion attempts and try to break their faith as their faith protects em and they cant directly attack em (so they use the druggies)

Friday, March 25, 2016

Gay Purr ee Review

noytr; my typing isd bad
gay purr ee
thisd is my reviewe on gay purr ee
that sounds like a p0rn0
its animated by the great chuck jones of loony toons fame
and stars the mnoustache gut from beetle juicve and the lead from the weizard of oz
I missed the 1st fewe minsi came in when the white cat is talking to a orange cat
they are in love and I think they are b0mning in the real version
this small cat sees a mouase and the orange cat goes after i9t
the white cat goes home and has a song about being in france and holw good it is
then the small cat and the orange cat come by and gives her a mouse
shes grossed out and sez shes not a cat but as feline
she mentions being fat and goes kinda emotional
this is just like the frenxh women I know
she then goes into a carriage with a wo man going to some where
orange cat talks to the mouse but its trying to escape
he finds out she left for paris and runs after jher
he talx to a blue cat who sounds like boris Karloff about what is paris
the bloo cat follows but is slower
this rem,inds me of all dogs go t5o heaven wherte Charlie is big and itchy is small
he catches up to orange cat and blax out so orange cat carry7s him
then the white cat goes on a train and sings about loving paris
she meets a creepy cat but she trusts him
he suggests helping her in a creepy way and sez his sister can help her
this is how p0rn0's start
meanwhiole the orange cat is on train trax and nearly gets cruished by a train
he also nearly drops the small cat
the small cat wants to go home but
the creepty cat takes the white cat to see his sister the fata55 pink cat
but they aint really sisterts ansd its all part of a scheme
he has a song about money and its very like halloween
the moon and orange and black
I think the lion king ripped this off
the orange and small cat arrive in paris and look for the white cat
white cat is bashed by pink cat for her natural way of doing things
she also trys to be sexy
this is turning into a p0rn0
thern she has to walk with a bowel of mlk on her head
but she spills I and gets sad
she leaves but creepy cat stops her and thery go see the town
theres a lot of dancers
I assume in the real versiomn they took off their clothes
she sees people kissing and don't know wat it is
just like in robotech
the creepy cat singas about not telling about kissing
I assume its b0ning in the real (purr) version
she goes back to the pink cat and orange/small cat arrive just as she goes in
they see the word "feline" on the door and knock on it but a black shadowcat from the song of money pulls him into the sewer
orange cat saves him and misses white cat getting the door
wait, cats cant read
later creepy cat writes a lettwer to a guy about sellingwhite cat as a bride
just like in that p0rn0
as he mails a letter, orange cat catches and releases a mouse
creepy cat wants to sell him as a ship cat
they talk and he trys to seduice him to doing stuff 4 him
thery go to a bar and have champaige
nowadays they couldn't have that as its booze and people are homophobic of alcohol in kids shows
they get drunk and sing
remember that yaoi anime kizuna where that guy goes to a bar and a guy drugs his drink and he Is taken to the back room but his brother saved him?
they wake up on a boat and hungover
orange cat is giving up but small cat trys to cheer him up
then the white cat sings a moving song
very meaningful
nowadays films don't do this
the sad moments are forced and the heart is tacked on
then the boat man sez they are going to Alaska for rthe gold rush and will return to paris in style
gold rush?!
what year is this>?
orange cat continues the song and its really wonderdful
then creepy cat describes various painting of the white cat by famous people
1 guy draws her chubby
I haven't heard of most of these guys
piccasso's art is freeky
also, I thought he was italiano
not spanish
or van gogh was a dutchman
he also wants to sell thwe white cat soon
he writes the pink fata55 cat a check and when the white cat comes out he gets a b0ner
they leave and the check writing vanishes from disappearing iink
she wants to get back at him
white cat finds shes gonna be married off to a fata55 and freaks out
she trys to escape the black shadowcats but falls out a window loony toons style
she lands on a horse and is run away
if this were made today she'd be more tough and kung fu
I can see finists whining about her being girly
after a chase,through town they bump into a big bulldog and run away
he sez hes gonna tear off and eat their tails
creepy cat gets his a55 chewed
he bashes the shadowcats and they go off to find her
back on my grampa's farm when my dad was a kid, this cat was by the pig pen and a pig ate half its tail
so they called it; halftail(in Slovenian)
dogs have manly names like spike and rex and killer. where as cats have sissy names like snowball and mittens and cuddle-bum
half tail sounds bada55
like a wasteland warrior name
but for furrys
the frenchie and orange cat find gold in alasjka
6 weex later creepycats tail his healed and the white cat is a hobo
she sings a down song
this goes o for a while
the bad guys arrive and he trys to suicide like yurua ihn Hokuto no ken
but is saved by the shadow cats catching her in a sack
the orange and small cat retuirn and meet the pink larda55 but a shadow cat was listening
he tells creepy cat but white cat writes a message on the floor
the good guys arrive and find the message
on the train the bad guys are gettong away and good guys are tired from rinning
but orange cat imagines creepycat is a rat and whizzes over
small cat bites creepy cats tailad orange cat  him outta da train
orange cat beats the shadowcats and creepy cat gets back in
he lets white cat out and gets a b0ner
creepy cat drops a crate on him but then they kung fu fight
blows to the face, and such
this cant be shown nowadays
they'd censor it
hes gonna kill the creepy cat by throwing him out of a train(maybe off a bridge_)  but instead sends him in whute cats place to be b0ned by a fat guy
the film ends with them singing in a carriage
the end
I loved thuis
bright colorful animation
good voicing and music
I didn't even mind all the French
for gay purr ee 2 I'd like it to be set in ww1 where the kaizer attacks them and the cats are in a resistance but in the end its revealed they were the bad guys and the kaizer was stopping them to save the world from the commies(like a twilight zone twist)

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Pet Semetary Review

note; ayping
pet sematary
this is my review on pet semetarty
I read the book years ago
my cool 90s aunt had a buncha steven king books yerars ago
and either a sega cd or sega saturn
this is in Mexican or French!
but the closed captions are in american
this is off amc so they f it up often
ive seen this enough to know how it goes
it startas with a fam moving in next to a road trucks go by often
the kid gage (played by miko hughs from lfe with louie) nearly gets run over but the creepy old guy across the road saves his candy a55
later the old guy takes them to the pet semetary
the old guy freaks out the daughter
that night she gets upset over if winstin Churchill(church) bites it
I had a kat as a kid
it ran away and broke my heart
he was my best friend
I had menrtal ssues, gender issues, paranoia
it f'd me up
later I lived with a crazy cat lady(my yugioh homies ex gf)
now I hate cats
but theyre better than dogs
hope dogs go extinct
although later in college i dealt with hippie animal supremacists who go mental over jokes about eating dog(although eating pig and octopus is ok)(note; pigs are smarter than dogs and octopi are smarter than apes)
had my cat lived I might have become one of those maniax
the next day the dad is gonna get the cat neutered
the daughter sez she don't want him to "get his n-ts cut"
she got the line from her maid or w/e
later that day a guy (mr pascow) gets slammed by a bus and his head is busted open
in a creepy scene he rises from his bed, grabs the main guy (a dr) and sez; da soil of mans soul is stonier! then bites it
that night his ghost appears to the dr and is still busted open(with good 80s effex)
he shows the dr this glowing area and warns him not to go beyond it no matter what
and the ground beyond is "sour"
I should mention that the book has a recurring  of the cryptid "the wendigo" but its not mentioned in the film
he wakes up but his bed and feed are muddy
later its thanksgiving and his wife/kids go see their grandparents but they hate him so he stays home
then the neighbor calls and the cat is dead on his lawn and frozen to the ground
I should mention that this film is based on a true story
steven king moved to main and the creeopy guy across da street and pet semetary were actual events
the creepy neighbor brings the dr out beyond the forbidden zone and to a rocky area where the dr digs a hole in hard ground to berry the cat
its an old micmac burial ground that they stopped using when it "went sour"
in the book it had to do with the wendigo
when he gets back the creepy guy sez not to tell his fam
normally that's said when people b0ne
he calls back his fam and his girl talks about the cat
also gage sez cute things to his dad on the phone
later he is freaked out by the cat jumping out near him and its not dead
he talx with the creepy guy but all theorys of the cat being alive are shot down by him
he tells the dr of his dog being buried up there and coming back as an abomination
the dr asks the creepy guy is anyone put a human there and he freaks out saying no
later the dr's fam return and the girl sez she dreamed the cat got hit by a car and he and the creepy guy put him in the pet semetary
later the girl sez the cat stinks!
its cuz its rotting
then the maid or slave or w/e hangs herself cuz shes dying
her funeral has the priest played by steven king
in the book she lived but the creepy guy's wife bit it
the dr saved her b4 and the creepy guy did the cat thing to repay him
that night the girl talx with her dad about the next world  discuss various beliefs
she asks if the maid/slave went to heaven
most say suicide is a sin so she went to h-ll and is probably getting b0ned by mao musollini and mandella
then his wife tells of her older sister (played by a man(like blue in violence jack)) dying when she was alone with her
the fam hated her for being sick
what a horrible fam
they deserve the sh-t they get
like the kennedys
its a curse
pay for your sins b--ch!
later its spring and the fam is having a picknick while gage flys a kite
they turn their backs for a few secks and he's in the road
and a truck is coming
the dad runs like a sprinter and the kid outruns him
the mom just screams "get da baby" and stands there
get him urself b--ch!
the kid walks in the road and stands looking at the coming truck
the dad falls and the kid gets run over
but it don't directly show him getting splattered
it shows the kite fall
a shoe tumbles
the truck on its back(how'd it flip?! is the kid the hulk?!)
the dad (in comic slo mo) nnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
shows various pictures of the kid and his fam between screams of the dad's scream
I know its meant to be srs but I find it lol
at the sons funeral the grampa starts a fight with the dad
he slugs him out and starts kickin him
in the book his kicked his a55cheeks
the dad counters and grampa falls into the coffin
what a horrible fam
im surprised they didn't start eating or b0ning the body
not too far a leap for these maniax
the creepy guy warns the dad not to use the sour ground for his son
he sez its his fault for gage biting it cuz he got the dr to revive the cat
then tells of a ww2 kid who but it and his dad put him up there
he came back as a daemon and they burned the guys place down
in the book the corpse could speak and knew all the guys secrets
usually them b0ning wh0res
also in the book 1 guy brought a bull up there somehow
later the wife and gurl went to stay with the gramparents and the gurl had a dream about the dr, gage and "pax cow"
then the dad graverobs his son but pascow trys to warn him not to
he reasons; if it don't work he'd put gage to sleep and the fam wont have to know
the gurl dreams pax cow warned her so the mom calls the dad but hes not there
when she walks out of her kids room pascow is beside her(she cant see him) and gives her info
she calls the creepy guy but he hasn't seen the dr
the mom rushes over and has a nightmare (which is really freeky) of her sister wanting revenge for letting her bite it
gage too
pascow helps the mom make it to the pet a car by giving people into and somewhat controlling them when tre gonna get in her way
then the dr berrys the gage in the grounds
later gage returns and gets his dad's scalpel as the dad sleeps
the creepy guy wakes up and comes over to kill gage
he goes upstairs and gets distracted by the cat
then the kid slices his tendon
he screams as the kid slices his mouth then eats some of him
why not just grab the kids arm and slug his candya66 out?
he just stood there j-zzing his pants as the kid slowly walked up with an angry face
in the book gage said in an evil voice that he knew of the creepy guy cheeting on his wife and a55 b0ning wh0res
this is turning into springer
I notice theres no nudity or b0ning in here
oh f
I just remembered theres a scene where the dr is taking a bath and the cat drops a dead rat in the tub and he gets out but we only see his upper body and shins/feet
its cut from the tv airing despite showing no nudity now a55cheeks
the mom goes into the house hearing her sister(Zelda)'s voice and finds zelda wanting revenge
but its really gage dressed in a way that makes sense in the book
she hugs him and he slices her up and eats of her off screene
the main guy(who's actually named Louis(like life with louie) wakes up and finds gages footprints and his blade missing
his dad in law calls and sez the gurl is worried for her mom\cuz of a dream
he gets a call from gage at the creepy guy's place and sez he played with mommy and wants to play with him
in yuguioh gx the demon yubel wanted to "play" with the hero in the English dub
in japan it was sadomasochism
he kills the cat and goes to the creepy guys house which is rotted like in splatterhouse 3
he finds the creepy guy part eaten
in the book he sez he was born 1900
but the book is made in like 81
the movie is made in 87
my year
they should put this on the history channel
better thaN; the mummy, tomb of the dragon emperor
or deep impact
so gage sneak attacks him and f' him up
but he grabs gages arm and sticks him with a needle of drugs
gage sez "no fair" then bites it again
the dr torches the place and walks out carrying his wife
pascow trys to stop him but he walks through pascow saying he waited too long with gage
later we hear the creepy guys words about the soil of a man's heart being stonier and a man has to work at night his wife returns chopped up
they make out but she picks up a blade and as it slo mo is about to get it, the screen goes black and we hear the hack and scream
I lijked this one
I even read the book one summer
and catcher in the rhye
that one was whiny and emo
holden caulfleld is a little candy a55 no good jaw broni
coming soon; catcher in the rye, the movie! starring jaden smith as holden caulfield. and megan fox, as his girlfriend added to the film so hes not just talking to himself for 3 hours. its set in modern times and has a rap soundtrack by jaden.
the main lesson of this movie is keep ur eyes on ur kids
i nearly died like 18 times so far
most of which were in the 80s and 90s
my grampa nearly bit it at least 30x
he maDE it to 94.5 years old
for pet semetary 2 i'd like the dad to have been mutilated and thinking hes not gonna last he bury's himself in the pet semetary but isn't fully o he becomes some kind of abomination. his ghter and the grand parents come to find out what happened but he eats them slowly and saving the vitals for last so they are eaten alive. his daughter fuses with the spirit of pascow and gets ghost powers and battles them after she kills em she faces the wendigo in an epic Castlevania boss fight

Saturday, March 19, 2016

The Giant Behemoth Review

note; im like nearly 20 hours w/o sleep. theres typoes
the giant behemoth
this is my review on the giant behemoth
it starts with an ocean view and quote about the bible about the behemoth
then some island gets huked
but its just a film showing by an anti nuke commie
he uses his science to make it sound like nucular power is bad
but a brit counters him
btw this is widescreen
and the commie is a marine biologist
and he sez something might strike back against man ruining the enviroment
later some brits are getting fish for their village
but the guy gets microwaved or something by something offscreen
later his blonde daughter is wondering where he is
she and her boyfriend go look for him but they find hm cooked
he sez its the behemoth
then bites it
at huis funeral the priest mentions the behemoth from the bible
then the blonde and bf find a beach filled with dead fish
and a white thing that harms the bf's hand
later the news tells of the fish and a sea monster
this guy who I don't recognize decides to go to check it out but his colleege sez theres a natural excuse for it
they get to England and find the fishermans are disgruntled over the fishing thing doing bad
1 guy sez he saw lights and clouds underwater or something
they go see the dr and he sez he didn't do much b4 or after the man bit it
the dr thinks its allergys or jellyfish
but the bf from b4 shows his cooked hand
they check the cove where it happened
1 guy is wearing thigh high rubber/leather boots
sounds like a p0rn0
the blonde tells them about the dad saying behemoth
also theres no radiation traces on their scanners
they get things checked at a lab and dissect some fish
they use a thing to chek the fish for radiation
1 x ray seems off and they check the area for extra light by turning off the lights(but theres still light to see outlines)
they find a thing is glowing
and its from a fish that was from some place(Plymouth)
they go out to find the thing that caused the radiation
while going across the sea they hear a boat is missing
then the scanners go nuts
and they see a bit of this monster
they chase after it and it gets away
when they return they hear the missing ship was found on a beach
they check it out then return to englind
this is just like those monster hunter shows where they look for monsters like bigfoot and find nothing but get closed and some near evedence
the main guy tells the ys his findings and they say that they analyzed something and found it has gut cells from an unknown monster
they spread the word to the world and we get a few European guys talking in their languages
I wonder what they said
was it real Europe did the words match the story?
or was it just random european
later a guy's dog attacks the unseen monster and he shoots the monster
but it microwaves him
later they find footprints of the behemoth
they take it to a scientist and he sez its a dinosaur who;'s 150-200feet long
the dr is shocked they hear the monster is alive
he sez he always knew they were still alive
is he a creationist?
something being around that long unknown for milions of years seems not very possible
the dr is sad that the monster has to get iced
well if theres 1 theres gotta be more
plus the mokelembembe in Africa
the main guys say to evacuate but the brits dont wanna
btw the monster has electric powers
they see it(the creationist is with em) and its just an outline
but the HQ cant see it on radar
then the chopper with the creationist gets busted
so they launch the jets
but it gets away
later people are driving cars onto a boat and it goes off
then the monster attacks and it looks really cr-ppy
it flips the boat and the peo are in the water
reminds me of my childhood when in the 90s I was in Windsor and got tinker toys and made a power ranger gun/blade and it fell in the Detroit river and floated out
the people try to be ready for the monster
the troops knock on doorzs, see people, then leave
then they bring people in truckas and drive off
I think they're evacuationg the city so they can go all out fightuing the thing
they consider blowing it apart but that would just spread its radioactive bits
so they use a torpedo with radium in it to make it br out like with Godzilla and desutoroya
but the monster reaches England and goes Godzilla on it
although it don't look as cr-ppy
ever notice how in the bible they give a pretty accurate depiction of a dinosaur in Job with the behemoth?
too accurate for something dead millions of years
then the monster uses its microwave powers to cook poeple
the troops open fire but it does nothing
it then super microwaves em and they are dusted
this reminds me of the 1927 ww1 film wings where the last act is just the main character killing people
the mainys are malcontent over not being able to do anything while they make the torpedo
'its like in dbz how when the bad guy is ont he attack the heroes not fighting need to wait while recovering/training
then its night and this thing was attacking England all this time
later this other chopper is tracking the monster and they reuse stock footage from earlier of its outline underwater
then the main guys get in a sub and fgo on the boss fight
I just noticed how phaIIic the sub looks
well it IS England
man this thing rips off Godzilla
the monster even swims
the monxztseer uses its microwave powers on the sub t starts leaking
they eventually fire at it and it starts boiling
then it bites it
they get out but find theres dead fish in america
the end
this film wasn't that bad
but theres better
kinda like aero the acrobat 1
for the great behemoth 2 I'd like the ziz (the 3rd thing besides the behemoth and leviathan)to attack England as its actually right above h-ll and its gonna pop like a zit with evil coming out(as englands evil has h-ll closer to the surface) and in the end they drop old atom on England to pull a Sodom and Gomorrah to save the world. also the people microwaved by its powers become mutated into abominations and start b0ning everyone they can

Friday, March 11, 2016

Wuthering Heights Review

note; bad typing and such
wuthering heights
this is my review on wuthering heights
the 30s version
I hear johnny depp liked this film
ooh, its from the same year as gone with the wind
lets see how this stax up
Donald crisp is in this
loved his silent films
its set in the 1800s and starts with a guy in a storm going to a run down house in England
he goes in and dogs attack him
but the houseman calls em off
I assume in the real version he killed those dogs and ate em
the house owner is Heathcliff
like the cat from da 80z
the storm walker decides to spend the night
also Heathcliffs wife is with them
Heathcliff seems to be an old sourpuss
at night the storm walker hears a womans voice saying for Heathcliff to let her in
the voice sez her name is cathy
the storm walker tells Heathcliff but he goes mental
this is turning into a horror movie
Heathcliff runs out into the storm
also when the storm walker reached outside something grabbed his hand
mrs Heathcliff sez cathy bit it
then she tells the backstory
I gotta say im loving the music and camera work
its very 30s-40s
40 years ago wuthering heights was happy and had cathys dad
cathy's dad brought over a boy who was a hobo
hes a bit of a malcontent
I assume he's the killer
the dad's kids don't like him
his names Heathcliff!!!
later he beats cathy in a duel(horse race) and the brother bullys Heathcliff
he also nails him in the head with a big a55 rock
brain damage might make him a killer
Heathcliff doesn't cry but only wants revenge
cathy is nice to him
if this were made today, the brother would be into Heathcliff and only picking on him out of wanting to b0ne him
Heathcliff and cathy talk about having imagination and playing make believe
Heathcliff pretends to fight the black knight
better than that cr-ppy sonic game
Heathcliff starts going gay for cathy
then someone bites it and Heathcliff isn't treated as an equal
I th its the dad who bit it
the bro oppresses Heathcliff
like England pressing america
or the union oppressing the confederates
then theres a timeskip and they're teens
the bro is a drinker and his servent/slave/butler quotes the bibles views on alcohol being bad
he treats Heathcliff like dirt and goes off but Heathcliff goes to the place they played as kids and makes ouyt with catjhy
I think they were b0ning in the real version
cathy wants to run away but then sez she don't
also Heathcliff is staying there just for cathy
then they go to a party
but they sneak around outside for a bit
this would make a great video game
they watch people dance through a window and cathy wants to have a fancy dress and Heathcliff to dress royal
then the dogs attack em and Heathcliff fights em
good boss battle
the brits at the part take care of cathy but treat Heathcliff like dirt
that's Brittan for ja
the royalz are on top and those benieth em are trash
as opposed to america where all men are created equal
later cathy returns home and Heathcliff is also back from something
they talk andshes become a high class dink who sees poors as less than human
they mo lested her mind!
also a high class guy calls Heathcliff a "gypsy" and she tells him off
is he a real gypsy?
or was he just using that word as a generic insult?
cathy then takes off her dress and ripes it
I assume she was nude in the real version
but here shes in a white thing
she returns to Heathcliff and asks for forgivenerss
she wants to have things just stop and they can be together forever
that's pretty touching
this is like the ailor scouts or wedding peach angels would like
Heathcliff reveals he was in "Liverpool"(I assume some h-llish realm of ponds of ground up human organs) and swam back from a boat or something
later cathy is taking a bath in a metal thing
but we don't see her body
nor her long shoelace nipples
she gets dressed but Heathcliff comes in
they argue about her being into a high class guy
she bashes his poorness and he tells her the high class guy wont love her
she keeps ushing him and mocking his "dirty hands"
he cant take it and lightly slaps her with em
I assume in the real version they had a kung fu fight
would be a good boss fight
her firing big words and him dodging em and getting in close for a hit
later Heathcliff busts his hands through a window
that accident began his career as a super villian
he comes up later with his hands mutilated
the maid/slave/ w/e treats his hands but when cathy comes Heathcliff hides
cathy sez the high class guy wants to marry her but the maid/slave talks with her
she bashes him and he leaves but then she sez her dream of being in heaven but going to earth to be where she belongs
she realizes she loves him and they belong together
they are just like eachother and have the same feels
then Heathcliff books it on a horse outside
they reralize he stopped listening when she bashed him and she chases him outside
would be a good video game level
chasing after him and dodging lightning and such
later the bro comes back and when he hears Heathcliff and cathy left in a storm, he goes drinking to celebrate
what a p o s
hope Heathcliff b0nes him dead
later they find her and bring her back
later a dr sez to keep her in the sun and give her cream/butter
they're gonna fatten her up!
shes been staying with the high class guy
she then decides to marry the high class guy
they wed and she had an ominus sense
then theres another timeskip
shes living with her new husband but Heathcliff comes back
he wants to see her but she turns him down
after training in america, he got his power level up and is a rich gentleman
her husband trys to see Heathcliff
now that Heathcliff has cash, the high class guy is nice to him
its like in violence jack how the men of section A only stopped mo lesting the women cuz they couldn't get away with it
Heathcliff sez his dad was an emperor of china and his moms an indian queen
then how come hes white?
he's also paid off the bro's gambling and booze bills and now owns wurthering heights
the high class gy's sister sez cathy and her bro treated Heathcliff like cr-p and shes gay for him
but the high class guy is offended by her liking him
later ls disgruntled over Heathcliff getting him back for him sh-tting on Heathcliff for years]
Heathcliff comes in and the bro goes on a tirade and pulls a gun on Heathcliff
but Heathcliff knows hes a candy a55 and he chickens out
geez man!
even starscream took a shot at megatron a few times
this guy's worse than starscream
why would an Englishman have a gun?
I thought they were illegal
like freedom of speech
then the high class guy's sister comes by and talks witjh Heathcliff
they fall in love when he points out he knows how she feels
then theres a party and Heathcliff joins in
the high class guy thinks she's gonna lose interest in him
in 1 scene the hands playing the harpsichord looks like something out of a 50s or 60s film
Heathcliff talx to cathy and they go outside for a bit
she claims shes different than she was b4 but Heathcliff knows she still loves him
but she turns him down and leaves
later cathy bugs the sister about Heathcliff and how he's using her to get to cathy
she denies it and sez Heathcliff is gonna marry her
cathy then bashes Heathcliff and sez hes evil
the sister counters saying she wants to make him happy and cathy is trying to ruin him
cathy confronts Heathcliff about him wanting to marry the sister
she begs him not to but he counters and blames her
cathy begs her husband to stop the wedding even if it means killing Heathcliff
but they marry anyway
after a timeskip the sister is disgruntled about her marriage
also the high class guy disowned her and cathy is gonna bite it
and the house seems to have a miasma of hate to it
and the ro wants the sister to kill Heathcliff
everyone wants to kill him
would make for a good video game
Heathcliff seems to be rotting from hate and bitterness and is refusing love from his wife
that means they aint b0ning
this seems like a bad ep of sailor moon or wedding peach
a chick comes by and sez the high class guy wants her home cuz cathy is biting it
Heathcliff goes to see her
cathy talks about her imaginary queendom at the castle where Heathcliff fought the black knight
her husband leaves to get some plant she wants and Heathcliff gets to her room
shes happy to see him and they kiss
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
sorta like in dragonball gt where gohan said to piccolo b4 he bit it; I w\ish we could've made love, just once!
or was that ninja scroll?
Heathcliff tells her off for driving them apart and leaving him and such
but then they kiss
she makes up with him and she has him bring her to the window
they feel the wind together and see the sunny English lands
I thought England was all rainy and damp
she sez she'll wait for him at their castle until he comes
and then she bites it
a guy tells him to leave her alone but he sez "shes mine" and carrys her to bed
Heathcliff then sez she wont rest while he lives and she's gonna haunt him for him killing her
then the story ends and the chick is telling the storm guy about how cathy's love is stronger than time
this reminds me of the crow
then a guy comes in saying he saw Heathcliff and a woman but when he found him he was alone and at the rock he played against the black knight
the wife sez they are together again and goodbye
it ends with a moving shot of Heathcliff and cathy walking together ghostly over the snow
the end
that was really grand
I loved it
no wonder johnny depp is a romantic
and I love ther b/w look
very classy
for wuthering heights 2 I'd like for it to be a midquel set between cathy biting it and Heathcliff biting it. in this one, a buncha brittish teens come by wuthering heights and are gradually picked off one by one by Heathcliff who uses them in ritual sacrifice to try to bring back cathy.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

20 000 Leagues Under The Sea Review

note; my typing has a speech impedinent
20 000 leagues under the sea
this is my review for 20 000 leagues under the sea (the 50s version)
according to tcm; this is a horror movie
you'd think it would be sci fi
I recall seeing a cartoon in the 90s about this story
and I recall seeing a movie where a guy was under water fighting a huge squid with an electric gun or something where my dad said they drew the electricity on the film
im not sure about muxh of the story though
its been over a decade
aw gross
Richard Fleisher directed it
loved his ancestors animations
so its set in 68
just after america lost the war
this underwater thing busts a ship
then it cuts to a guy offering double pay for a job he claims has no monster
some crippled guy describes the "monster"
a guy pokes fun at the job guy and the cripples smell and gets a stick busted over his head
then the cops come and everyone scatters
later peter lorre and a europeany guy need to sail to som Asian place but theres no sailers
oh no
hes French!!
hes a professer
like in pokemon
and hes looking for monsters
like in pokemon
but the press twisted his words to jack up sails by exaggerating what he said
looks like those dinks were bad back then too
we need someone to clean up these commies
hold em accountable
they've ruined too many lives
then this guy talks to the proffeser and petter lorry about going on an expedition
they agree
they go searching the south pacific for sea monsters 1 quadrant at a time
those oceans are full of daemons and such
they terrify me
its a boundless abyss
an infinite void
u lose ur body in there it aint coming out
might as well be in space
I say we nuke the ocean
burn away those seas with nucular flame
so after a long search they find nothing and plan to end he mission
this guy in a weres waldo shirt and blue jeans (who poked fun at that guys stink) sings a song
hes fun and charismatic
after the song a nearby ship is busted
they go right to it and suspect its the monster
then the monster charges at em
they open fire with cannons but it does nothing
it rams the ship and waldo shirt tries using a harpoon
the professer and the peter lorrie get knocked off into the sea and cling to a wood piece
the ship ditches em and they find the "monster"
its really an underwater boat
not like spongebob
they go in and its got indoor lights
then weres waldo shirt comes by
the professer gets separated and they look 4 him
b4 it turns into a slasher film, peter lorrie finds him watching a ceremony underwater with scuba men
and the scuba men see em in the ship through the window!
the 3 guys try to book but get ambushed by the scubas
the other scubas men return to the ship
then unscuba guys come in and capture em
they all dress the same like the grunts in pokemon games
they meet captain nemo(not the guy from the crow city of angels)
he wants em left to bite it as the ship they were on attacked em
nemo knows of the professer and lets him live
nemo seems malcontent at society
if only he knew how far it would sink
the prof would rather die with his homies than work for nemo
so he leaves em outside the boad and lowers
then immediately rises up and saves em
what a fake out
like when a comic book kills off a character
they has dinner with nemo
also weres waldo shirt eats with a butterknife
they enjoy dinner until they find its various sea life
like squid food and whale milk
weres waldo shirt finds it gross
what about japan?
its an island country so they get their food from the sea
I've had squid, spicy crab, tempura shrimp, and other things
love that Japanese food
nemo is glad that the prof is willing to risk his life for his droogz
also they smoke seaweed
they get to a sunk island where they farm the ocean and weres waldo shirt/peter lorre go out
so does nemo and the prof
we get some good underwater footage with peaceful music
like in mr rogers
I just remembered that whale milk is full of calories and fat
I wonder, what does the ship run on?
also, nowadays, eating sea animals would be seen as bad by hippies and vegans and other losers
nemo and prof find treasure in a sunk ship
but when they get it out, a shark comes for em!
wait, its not them
nemo wounds the shark and it flees
nemo gets mad at weres waldo shirt and lorrie going after treasure and shows hes got a room full of it
this would make a great video game
weres waldo shirt wants to leave with the treasure and prof wants to learn from nemo
seems like adam and eve and the apple and the garden
the prof sez weres waldo shirt's life has no meaning compared to science
yeah, tell that to p o w's used in human experimentation
they'll understand
we get a montage of nemo playing his pipe organ and weres waldo shirtmaking a banjo out of a turtle shell/ a bone
then weres waldo shirt jacks treasure in his banjo
but a seal out him
but he worms his way outta it
the prof sees the engine room
its run on some kind of nucular light like a micro star
prof thinks nemo's power could save the world
nemo thinks it could ruin it
he also hates humans for their faults and injustices
sounds like a loser on tumbler lol
they go to some island/prison colony and nemo goes on a tirade against people mining to make war weapons
1st, he don't know what the phosphorous mined is used for
2nd, wars are often a necessary evil to prevent worse injustice
3rd, this is a PRISON colony! these people are probably degenerates or killers or druggies
nemo sez he and hiz men escaped from there, made the ship and fight injustice
why was nemo in prison?
is he a purvo?
a killer?
a theif?
a drunk?
a druggie?
nemo then rams the ship carrying nitrates and phosphorus and it busts apart, killing everyone
so nemo is like an anti hero?
like magneto, venom and dr doom(in da commix homie)?
weres waldo shirt is disgruntled by sailors just like his getting burned alive and drowned
nemo claims he did it to save others who would be killed in the wars
then sez his wife and son were tortured dead
I assume they were skinned alive and he was force fed it as they watched
that's sick
maybe they were b0ned dead like in a Serbian film
peter lorre sez nemo likes killing people and the prof is turning nemo
he tells weres waldo shirt and they plan together
weres waldo shirt isn't wearing a shirt and is pretty beefy
they plan and go off
they check maps but book when a guard comes
they're in nemo's cabin
they check his map and plan/learn
this would make a great videogame
jules verne is public domain right?
quick! someone make a Gameboy or NES or mastersystem or genesis 20 000 leagues game!
the seal finds em but they feed it cigars of sea weed and get out
that seal's gonna O D
weres waldo shirt wants to use bottles to send messages in bottles(like that kevin scotner movie in da 90s I reviewed)
weres waldo shirt socks peter lorre for spying on him but lets the peter lorre slug him back
then they became friends
just like in anime
also weres waldo shirt swallows a sea creature in a jar
remember that urban legend of a chick who thought shes preggers but its just an octopus egg she swallowed growing in her butt pipe?
weres waldo shirt is gonna get butt pregnant!
they arrive at an island and peter lorre sez he wants to go ashore to collect specimens and weres waldo shirt will row the boat
nemo sez yes cuz the islanders are cannibals
when pirates of the carribean 2 had island cannibals, all these malcontents whined
weres waldo shirt goes off in the jungle to escape but the peter lorre cant leave the prof
he finds a thing of skulls on posts and books it
he runs as the cannibals chase him and throw spears
the cannibals got boats too
the guys escape to the boat but nemo makes excuses for em
nemo electrifies the ship and the cannibals leave
he has weres waldo shirt sent to the brig and nemo fights a warship
but they take a hit
water is getting in
and the brig is flooding
and the power room is flooding
they stop the flooding but are now 5000  below litims
then a tentacle monster Attacks!!
it starts hugging the ship so the shock it
but power gives out and they gotta go out to fight it
they surface and now its a storm
this sounds like phantasy star
the teantacles get in and start wiggling around
nemo goes out and takes on a colossal squid with a harboon
he has to aim for its weak point
he gets it between the eyes and it weakens
I assume its a pressure point
his men fight the tentacles
nemo is grabbed
also weres waldo shirt breaks outta the brig and fight the squid
he sticks it and it goes under with nemo
but weres waldo shirt tries to save him
he does
nemo gives him good treatment
nemo regrets that weres waldo shirt saved him and sez he wouldn't have saved him
prof points out he's all malcontent and disrgrunteld
nemo complains more and sez he's gonna show prof this power at an island of vulcania
but all these boats have found it and got there 1st
they dive and go through an undersea cave to reach the lagoon
btw, shouldn't they get the bends from going up and down in the sea?
nemo goes to his lair and weres waldo shirt yells to the guns shooting at em that he sent the messages
they keep shooting
nemo returns but gets capped
he leaves ijn the ship but drives bad
I assume those were alcohol tipped bullets
nemo stumbles around and sez he;'s taking the ship down 1 last time
he wants everyone to go to h-ll with him
but weres waldo shirt wants to live
nemo goes on a monologue and bites it
oh and he set his island to blow
this would be great for a video game
fighting your way to the controls and taking on a biosuit captain nemo or his super soldier or robot
on man I was right!
weres waldo shirt fights his way out and takes on a big buff guy
they're about to leave and the prof goes back for his diary
just like in robotech
but weres waldo shirt slugs him out and carrys him to saftey
then the island blows up
and the ship sinks
shouldn't the wave from the exploding island take out the boat the 3 guys are on?
the end
for 20 000 leagues under the sea 2, I'd like for a modern guy to find a note sent by the weres waldo shirt guy and goes to find the island. not only does he find the hidden vault of the most prized secrets of his works. but the ship that went down was saved by sea demons who reveal they were the ones who nemo made a pact with to give them their evil tech in exchange for a chance for revenge. but using 80s style tech, the new hero takes em on and fights to stop a revived captain nemo from wiping out mankind.

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Postman Always Rings Twice Review

niotwe; bad spelling happenes
the postman always rings twice
this is my review on the post man always rings twice
I don't recall mr mcfeely or reba the mail lady doing that
maybe its a 40s thing
for some reason I used to think this was a movie I saw as a kid where this guy is in a kitchen and fights a guy and cooks his face on a grill and chopps it with a turkey carver
1 guy was in a suit
it looked 90s or 80s
so the main guy gets a lift from the duistrict attourty and stops at a gas station
he gets a job workin there but is gay for the gas station guy's wife
shes shown in something the 40s would find "too hot" but nowadays we see on sailor moon or power rangers
she hassles him with menial chores cuz she wants the place to "be something"
then they kiss
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
they don't talk for a few weeks but retalk soon
the main guy gets a new sign put up
the wo man sez her husband is worried the main guy would take credit for it so he congraduates the husband on the idea
the husband plays guitar and wantso dance
but she keeps making excuses
I assume it was b0ning and not dancing in the real version
esp when he watchs her dance with the main guy
then she stops and sez; its too hot 2 dance!
then the main gujy and her go to the beach
I assume they b0ned
later they talk and she reveals she had guys coming after her since she was 14
and she married her husband for some reason
but now shes into him
later she leaves a note saying shes leaving him for the new guy
they walk but eventually change their minds
when they get back they see the husband drunk driving and nearly driving into a truck
the main guy wishes the husband would drunk drive off a cliff
what a p o s
husband comes in he sez he's a bit "high"
I assume hes doing blow
thwe main guy considers leaving and talks with her
they admit loving eachother and she wants him to wack her man
she sez he said it 1st but he sez he wasn't srs
they plan the assassination and get ready to pull it off
he goes outside and she goes up to wack him
then a cop pulls up and notices a cat on the ladder and leaves
then the cat gets fried on the power thing and the wo man screams
she sez he's still breathing and they gotta save him cuz the cop saw the ladder
at the hospital hes a veggie but wakes up and don't recall what happen
the cops check the scene and find the fried cat
they notice nothing wrong
1 cop is obsessed with the cat
I think hes a necro zoo seksool
I assume in the real version he b0ned it
later they find out the husband wil;l be right back after these messages(1 week)
the main guy sez it was the happiest week he had
I assume that's 40s talk for they were b0ning
he decides to leave and spends a few weeks in LA
it don't say what he was doing there
I assume male prostuiute
but then the husband finds him and brings him home
the husband sez hes gonna move in with his sister in the soviet republic of Canada
the wo man don't wanna leave and goes mental
he sez his sisters crippled and they need a wo man to help
but the woman is selfish
she talks the main guy into killing him
they set up a thing where he's drunk and they play a traffic thing
the main guy fakes being drunk while the district attouiry is there
they drive up to a place and he busts the husbands head open with a liquer bottle
once again, alcohol claims a life
this is why I don't drink
it don't show the guy's head but I assume it was smashed open like a bowel of chef boy ar dee
once in grade school we did a drunk driving thing and I played a victim who got his head busted open
I used a ziplock baggie of pasta and sause(it stayed closed and it was the brains)
they drive the car downs but its hardly damaged
so the main guy goes in and pushes v but falls with it
she runs for help but finds the D A
later this guy visits the main guy and gets him to sign a confession by claiming she was trying to kill him
oh its the DA
also the husband had an insurance policy for 10 000 $$ taken out right b4 the main guy came back
on his way out the DA meets the main guys lawyer
in court he sez hes gonna plead the wo man guilty
in private she turns on the main guy and has a "cop" take her confession
turns out it was a ploy by the defence laywer to get the bickering out of the way
as it was the DA's plan to drive her to confess
they alsdo argue on if the guy taking the confession is "a dick"(slang terms for detective, like dick tracey or private dick)
I haven't herd the word "dick" used this much since grade school
the layewr gets her off with time served as the people have no real evidence
they then return to living at the gas station and become celebs
kinda like OJ
but the guy is nervous about living with her as she had 1 guy iced
they wind up getting married
what about the sister?!
she was depending on her brother and wife to care for her
then the wo man goes to visit her mom
but the main guy cheets on her with a blonde
they spend a week b0ning in mexico
when they get back they find the fake dick (who sounds just like fred flintstone) who wants much cash for the confession he wrote
she tries to seduce him and the main man beats on him
they make him call his comrade and bring the confession
when he comes over they sneak attack him and get the evidence
but then the wioman finds out he cheeted on her
wait; she cheets on her man but hates being cheeted on?
that's like a boxer getting mad that the guy he's punching punched him
after paranoia and suspicions, they reveal they were worried about the other betraying them
her 1st husband wouldn't have betrayed her
she reveals she was gonna run away
also she reveals shes preggo
she decides to go for a swim
they swim out as far as they can but she sez she wanted to do this as a suicide/trust thing
what about the baby?
its innocent!
this chick is just awful
they swim back and on the drive home they car accident and she bites it
and the innocent baby in her
how sad
he's found guilty of killing her and gets the gas
he reveals this whole movie is his confession to a priest
hes only worried about her last thoughts
not his child
what scum
then its revealed that evidence was found that fingers him for icing the husband
the wo man left a note b4 they went swimming
it was for him
so even if he's found not guilty of killing them, he'd still get the chair for the husband
he sez its like waiting for a letter and forgetting the mailman rings the doorbell 2x
im pretty sure they don't do that
he asks the priest tio pray that he and the wo man are together in the next world
spoiler; it means h-ll
esp since he never mentioned the baby(who was innocent, unlike them)
the end
for the postman always rings twice 2 I'd like for it to start with the guy about to get the guillotine but at the last second its stopped cuz some hippie gov nut banned capital punishment in w/e state this is in. but a family member wont have it and attacks! causing the guillotine to go off as he's getting out and slicing open his head. the dr's save him but he's unable to tell phantasy from reality and has trippy visions of self discovery in this dream world. its a weird psychedelic offbeat weird a55 60s movie like something the guy who made "The Stuff" would do(Larry Cohen).