Friday, March 4, 2016

The Postman Always Rings Twice Review

niotwe; bad spelling happenes
the postman always rings twice
this is my review on the post man always rings twice
I don't recall mr mcfeely or reba the mail lady doing that
maybe its a 40s thing
for some reason I used to think this was a movie I saw as a kid where this guy is in a kitchen and fights a guy and cooks his face on a grill and chopps it with a turkey carver
1 guy was in a suit
it looked 90s or 80s
so the main guy gets a lift from the duistrict attourty and stops at a gas station
he gets a job workin there but is gay for the gas station guy's wife
shes shown in something the 40s would find "too hot" but nowadays we see on sailor moon or power rangers
she hassles him with menial chores cuz she wants the place to "be something"
then they kiss
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
they don't talk for a few weeks but retalk soon
the main guy gets a new sign put up
the wo man sez her husband is worried the main guy would take credit for it so he congraduates the husband on the idea
the husband plays guitar and wantso dance
but she keeps making excuses
I assume it was b0ning and not dancing in the real version
esp when he watchs her dance with the main guy
then she stops and sez; its too hot 2 dance!
then the main gujy and her go to the beach
I assume they b0ned
later they talk and she reveals she had guys coming after her since she was 14
and she married her husband for some reason
but now shes into him
later she leaves a note saying shes leaving him for the new guy
they walk but eventually change their minds
when they get back they see the husband drunk driving and nearly driving into a truck
the main guy wishes the husband would drunk drive off a cliff
what a p o s
husband comes in he sez he's a bit "high"
I assume hes doing blow
thwe main guy considers leaving and talks with her
they admit loving eachother and she wants him to wack her man
she sez he said it 1st but he sez he wasn't srs
they plan the assassination and get ready to pull it off
he goes outside and she goes up to wack him
then a cop pulls up and notices a cat on the ladder and leaves
then the cat gets fried on the power thing and the wo man screams
she sez he's still breathing and they gotta save him cuz the cop saw the ladder
at the hospital hes a veggie but wakes up and don't recall what happen
the cops check the scene and find the fried cat
they notice nothing wrong
1 cop is obsessed with the cat
I think hes a necro zoo seksool
I assume in the real version he b0ned it
later they find out the husband wil;l be right back after these messages(1 week)
the main guy sez it was the happiest week he had
I assume that's 40s talk for they were b0ning
he decides to leave and spends a few weeks in LA
it don't say what he was doing there
I assume male prostuiute
but then the husband finds him and brings him home
the husband sez hes gonna move in with his sister in the soviet republic of Canada
the wo man don't wanna leave and goes mental
he sez his sisters crippled and they need a wo man to help
but the woman is selfish
she talks the main guy into killing him
they set up a thing where he's drunk and they play a traffic thing
the main guy fakes being drunk while the district attouiry is there
they drive up to a place and he busts the husbands head open with a liquer bottle
once again, alcohol claims a life
this is why I don't drink
it don't show the guy's head but I assume it was smashed open like a bowel of chef boy ar dee
once in grade school we did a drunk driving thing and I played a victim who got his head busted open
I used a ziplock baggie of pasta and sause(it stayed closed and it was the brains)
they drive the car downs but its hardly damaged
so the main guy goes in and pushes v but falls with it
she runs for help but finds the D A
later this guy visits the main guy and gets him to sign a confession by claiming she was trying to kill him
oh its the DA
also the husband had an insurance policy for 10 000 $$ taken out right b4 the main guy came back
on his way out the DA meets the main guys lawyer
in court he sez hes gonna plead the wo man guilty
in private she turns on the main guy and has a "cop" take her confession
turns out it was a ploy by the defence laywer to get the bickering out of the way
as it was the DA's plan to drive her to confess
they alsdo argue on if the guy taking the confession is "a dick"(slang terms for detective, like dick tracey or private dick)
I haven't herd the word "dick" used this much since grade school
the layewr gets her off with time served as the people have no real evidence
they then return to living at the gas station and become celebs
kinda like OJ
but the guy is nervous about living with her as she had 1 guy iced
they wind up getting married
what about the sister?!
she was depending on her brother and wife to care for her
then the wo man goes to visit her mom
but the main guy cheets on her with a blonde
they spend a week b0ning in mexico
when they get back they find the fake dick (who sounds just like fred flintstone) who wants much cash for the confession he wrote
she tries to seduce him and the main man beats on him
they make him call his comrade and bring the confession
when he comes over they sneak attack him and get the evidence
but then the wioman finds out he cheeted on her
wait; she cheets on her man but hates being cheeted on?
that's like a boxer getting mad that the guy he's punching punched him
after paranoia and suspicions, they reveal they were worried about the other betraying them
her 1st husband wouldn't have betrayed her
she reveals she was gonna run away
also she reveals shes preggo
she decides to go for a swim
they swim out as far as they can but she sez she wanted to do this as a suicide/trust thing
what about the baby?
its innocent!
this chick is just awful
they swim back and on the drive home they car accident and she bites it
and the innocent baby in her
how sad
he's found guilty of killing her and gets the gas
he reveals this whole movie is his confession to a priest
hes only worried about her last thoughts
not his child
what scum
then its revealed that evidence was found that fingers him for icing the husband
the wo man left a note b4 they went swimming
it was for him
so even if he's found not guilty of killing them, he'd still get the chair for the husband
he sez its like waiting for a letter and forgetting the mailman rings the doorbell 2x
im pretty sure they don't do that
he asks the priest tio pray that he and the wo man are together in the next world
spoiler; it means h-ll
esp since he never mentioned the baby(who was innocent, unlike them)
the end
for the postman always rings twice 2 I'd like for it to start with the guy about to get the guillotine but at the last second its stopped cuz some hippie gov nut banned capital punishment in w/e state this is in. but a family member wont have it and attacks! causing the guillotine to go off as he's getting out and slicing open his head. the dr's save him but he's unable to tell phantasy from reality and has trippy visions of self discovery in this dream world. its a weird psychedelic offbeat weird a55 60s movie like something the guy who made "The Stuff" would do(Larry Cohen).

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