Monday, September 23, 2019

Lost Horizon Review

note; i spell better than this film was put together
lost horizon
this is my review on lost horizon from 1937
its directed by frank capra who had endless issurs making it and editing it and casting it and filming it ect
it stars ronald mcdonald coleman, h b warner, and no one else i know
oh! jane wyatt was spocks mom in the good star trek
its based on a book i never read by James Hilton who i assume is connected to paris hilton from house of wax
wtf this movie was rated 16+ in soviet finland and 14+ in the netherlands
buncha candy a55es
esp when soviet england rated it for everyone
but they cut it so thats worse
I never saw this b4 but heard it was good
so it starts saying over da years it was tcut and this ver is a reconstruction of it with stills
after credits we get book pages saying with all da wars we want a safe place
1 guy is sent to a cuhina city in 35 and has to save 90 white people
nowadays; they'd make him look bad for that
so ronny gets people to the last plane and calls a phone for more
something happns and ron turns on the booze barrels and they blow and torch the place
they get on another plane and fly oof
1 fruity brit is dressing as an asian (cultural appropriation!!) and was looking for fossils
he found a megatherium bone in asia and its just 1 piece of backbone
oh no hes an evolutionist
a blonde chick coughs and when she turns down a smoke to clear her throat(dat 30s) they find out shes american
americans are always blonde like terry bogard in fatal fury/king of fighters and guile in street fighter
ronny has a few drinks and is trying to get a big job for his thing
ronny sez he left 10 000 natives to get wiped out and they dont count to soviet england
its ok
english dont count to england
like that disabled kid who's parents were forbidden from going to america to save him
maybe we should've sided with zee kaiser
so hes bummed about leting 10 000 people bite it and will be foreign secretry for it
also theres an asian guy on the plane
the next day fruity brit is malcontent over another guy calling him fruity names (triggering!! harassment!!) and thy realize they seem to be going in the wrong direction
they realize the pilot is replace by the asian guy and 1 guy wants to beat him into talking but then no one could do the plane
so thry land in an asian village ad the people clean their plane
ater taking off again they head for mountains and i wasnt looking so i missed it
in soviet englannd; the brits say they need ronny to deal wityh the nations who are going nuts or w/e
so plane is going through the montins and bllonde freaks out and trys to open da dooer to jump out
the men pull her back (non  consentual deniel of suicide!!)
so plane runs outta fuel and they crash in the frozen hills
hope the yeti dont get em
the map sez they are near the edge of the known area
also blonde sez a year ago she had 6 months to live and now sge''s gonna fight on
wow, just read that frank capra stopped directing as he didnt consent to the rotting of morals and fignity in hollywood
he found films had turned into p0rn0 andv were for degenerates
imagine what he'd think of today?
everyone b0ning and lady gaga hermaphrodite p0rn0 vids of her flying around in a space womb
so the asian pilot bit it and they meet a group of natives who know english
chang is played by H B Warner who was Jesus in the 20s King of Kings and mr gower in its a wonderful life
after a climb over the icy cliffs they get to shangri la  and get native clothes (cultural appropriation!!!)
later blonde has a cough and a guy tries to hel;p but shes kinda b--chy and wants to suicide
you know whats dark? her actress OD'd on pills in the 60s
so after a dinner the vistiors wanna go home but the natives have no communiccation with the outside world
also the people never go far and 500 miles away, these people come over sometimes
and one time is any time now
they've been expecting it for 2 years
later 1 guy sez he feels like he was here b4
man, we're like an hour in and it feels like nothing
ronny wonders why the natives came out to meet em so fast as they never go far and expects it was done on purpose
later deja vu guy chats with a native chick and they will probably fall in love
ronny asks chang his religion (offensive question!! dats prtvate!! racist!!) and he sez they pracitce moderation
also; as all their needs are met, there;s no crime
also chang has many books brought in over hundreds iof years ands they have a lot of gold they trade for stuff
chang sez a belgian priest long ago was the 1st european who came there in 1713 and started their thing
he came in frozen and took off his frozen leg but after learning the language, foun d they could've saved it
also he made it to 108 and was still tough
to be fair; Moses freed the Israelites at 80 and wandered the desert for 40 years
alaso, cuz they have it so easy, they age slpw and are healthy longer
later some guy finds out theres gold here and wants to make it big in america
he tells blonde and offers her a part in it for her silence
better idea; dont tell her in the 1st place!!
later in a forrest thats in the frozen hills, ronny goes on a ghorse ride after native chick with waterfalls and cr-p
she swims nude but we dont see anything but buttcrack from a distance
he puts her clothes on a thing or w/e and goes off so he wont asee her nude(what a gentleman)
so 2 weeks later no word from the 500 mile guys
f. i tthink my cable f'd out
well, guess this goes on hold for until I can see it again
or i could chrck youtube
wait, its back
so at dinner fruity guy or gold guy or w/e asks around if the people have any secrets
its revealed gold guy is a theif and when fruiity guy bashes him over it, blonde sez "he never stole from you" like that matters
hes a killer! yeah, but, he never killed you, so he's ok.
also he sold shares that fruoty brit bought and its useless now
he defends himself by blaming the market crash
1 guy who plays ronnys bro in here cant take the thought of staying here too long and goes nuts, pulls a gun and shoots a plant
ronny slugs him out and talks to the chang in the room they all in about letting em out
he locks em in the room and wont et em out until he tell em
so chang offers to take tem to see the big cheeze
k now i;m caught up from watching on youtube
later ronny meets the high lama and want to go free
high lamma is missing a 1 leg and he realizes hes the 1600s guy
lamma sez he wanted to meet ronny cuz he wrote in a book something he liked
lamma sez they need men like ronny and he can live on and on
ronny dont see any need for it
lama foresaw a time when there would be doomsday things and he chose to save the good stuff in his kingdom
plus things get worse with greed and j-rkoffs
and once the dinks ice eachother, the good will come back and rebuild za warudo
is this a bible movie?
cuz that describes the end times
he returns to the group and tells em he cant tell whst he heard
later he's teaching the kids there a lullyby and after thst chats wth native woman who has birds with flutes tiedv to em
so ronny james dio sez alll over da world people are whining annout him being gone
native woman sez she was raised by lama after her rents bit it coming here
also she sez shes 30
physically? or chronologically?
ronald raegan sez he fels like he was here b4 and he likes it there
se sez he's always been a part of shangri-la and she wonders of the outside world
also she wishes all da world cound come there but he sez that would ruin it
later fruity guy and gold guy explore the natives area and have some drinks
later fruity guy tells the goldilocks story
like 250 days in there and fruity guy is feeling happy
maybe its holy ground that clears out the minus energy?
later ronny trys to explain the human world and needs for money and stuff to natuve girl
later they grow closer and have a clean wholesome romance like the 30s did well
ohhh! kissing!! too hot!!
later fruity guy wants to teach the kids geology
imagine if he tried to teach them evolution and burst into flames?
later the chang tells the ronald native chick came in 1888 and was 20
if she leaves, she'll decrode to her real age
but staying here will keep them young
1 guy i dont know who, wants to go out on his own
oh its ronnys bro
ronny seez lama and he sez hes gonna bite it and pass the reigns to ronny
lama sez ronny will survive the apocalypse and keep things good and theres a good future coming
then he bites it
so ronny bro wants to get others to ditch their paradice and they domt consent
so the 500 miles guys come and bro wants to go with em and ronny but ronny tyries to get him to stay by telling him the whole story
bro rejects all the evidence and thinks its fake
they realize they cant both stay or go so they gon split
but bro wants to take native chick and its implieds they b0ned and she went out to get the 500 miles guys for bro
ronny dont buy it so she tells ghim she wants to go and she's been corrupted to hqte morals
also shes glad that lama bit it and sez chang lied about her being from 1888
she also would rather bit it than stay safe, innovcent and happy
so its like how teens wanna not be like kids and do drugs?
a bit like dorian gray with him hiding his sin soul painting in his childhood room
but this came 1st
so ronny chooses to go and they book it
btw, zyuranger used this time free area with the dragon ranger
ronny hesitates bit goes on
outside the area in the snow, the 500milrs guts are ,leaving them behind and take shots at them with a revolver for fun
the sounds make an avalanche and it wipes out the 500milers
naative chick decrodes into a geezer and bites it
bro goes nuts and jumps off a cliff
wow, pretty f'd up for frank capra
more like a go nagai story
btw, good use of showing how when we reject the truth, we pay deeply
she knew her age and denied it until it iced her.
so ronny goes on and falls down a hill
he goes on and is found by the chinese and returns to soviet england
also he dont recall much
later he gets his memory back amd vanishes after telling his story
1 guy followed him back to asia and kept trying to go back over and over but had to retry cuz of storms
eventually he went over the area that stopped him over and over and they aint seen him since
1 guy sez he hopes ronny and everyone finds their own shangri-la
then we see ronny getting back to the shangri las
the end
that was pretty good
i liked it
its got value, heart, soyul, good acting and music, good effects and a good story
they went through h-ll making it but it turned out grand
they would never make a film like this today
as seen by all my comments on how today would view scenes in brackets
but this was a grand capra film and even if it wasn't the 3.5 hour epic capra originally made it, it still works
its ideals and values hold true today and if  we tries to be more like they were in here, wed all be better off.
to quote tommy wiseau; if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place
its a clean wholesome honest picture with positivity and hope
now to ruin it with a bad sequel
for lost horizon 2 i want the brother to have survved his fall and was experimented on by yeti to give him cyber parts. he lears an attack against the city wiith his yeti homies and they have plasma rifles and daemon tech. so ronny goes against them with holy armor make of good ki that resists the daenon yeti tech. also its a 16 bit beat em up with up to 4 players where the ronny, fruity guy, gild guy and blonde team up to beat off the yeti on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Julie And Julia Review

Note; i spell hisctorically badc accurate
jules and julia
this is my review on jewels and juilia from 2009 (when robotech happened)
its got amy adams from mean girls and some other chicks
its based on the life of a cook from tv or somehing
i never saw this b4 or know much about the historical figure but i saw an autotuned thing of her for her 100th birthday
oh its julie and julia
i aint going back and fixing da title
so it starts in 1949 soviet france and stara that malcontent meryl streep
she eats at a restorant and is driven around soviet france til she reachs the place she gon live
then its queens in soviet new york in 2002and amy addams movies into an apartment
she can't handle it but her husband gives her confidence boost with facts
nowadays feminists would call that mansplaining
so back in france meryl is happy and in new york amy aint as she works on dealing with people who bit it after oh bba mma did n|ne ||
oh its insurance
these pushy new yorkers are really awful to her even though sge's trying to help
what a horrible city
i say we get the few good people out and let it go mad max
clintin should've nuked it instead of just taking out the towers
and that guy in the earlier guys
laterb she chats with her successful female homies and they are self absorbed business women
1 homie suggests a thing about her gneration turning 30 but its all cr-p
at home she hears her bimbo friend is doing a blog abbout her thoughts and shes jealous
her husband suggests blogging about food and she decides to do julia childes cooke bbooke
as a kid her mom made julia childes beef bor gen yawn and its her one good memory
after watching julia on tv she sez her ADD makes her cr-ppy at stuff so she cecides on a 1 year plan to do her cook book
she starts the julie/julia project blog and has 365 days and over 500 recipies
in france meyrl is happy with all those fremnchies as she turns em positive and likes em
i know what you mean. i like spiders
but spiders are actually cool lol
she talks to a shaved head guy about what to do as a work
after trying various things and trying to learn real french (instead of cr-ppy a55 canadian french) as there's no french cook book in english, she tries reading a french cook book
in bed with her husband (i assume. otherwise they are living in sin) he helps her with french and they turn out the lights
in the real version they were b0ning
in this century amy sez butter makews cr-p taste better and she likes eating it
shes gonna get faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
so after blowing cash of weird food and getting fat from eating cr-ppy french food stuffed with butter, she chats with mom and mom thinks shes wasting her time on da blog
amy addamd getting fat but the actress not actually expanding or showing it? its mean girls!!
i never saw this b4 but i think theres gonna be a part where she gives up on the blog near the end bit after a forced sad moment, gets back and does stuff
also her mom is her only reader
remember; in 79, gundam didnt catch on in its 1st run
so marrril tries going to a cooking school but the b--chy frenchie sez she wont fit in or do well
also its for men
so after s-cking at choppiong onions, she gets better with training and can do it and more in 3 weeks
do it in a gravity room so you get stronger from higher gravity
so she wins mens respect by doing well (as it should be) and she takes noon breaks to b0ne her man
unless they actually married
and marril writes a typewriter kletter to her imaginary friend or w/e
maybe its the other marril?
like the one that takes over and kills people
wait, thats yugioh!
so at a valentines dasy dinner, her butt buddy who was in ww2 a few years ago, says good things of her
he fought in china to save it from japan
only for them to go commie and turn on us right after
maybe we should've let hirohito have em?
in her book julia sez boiling water is as hot as a b0ner
now the movie is pg13
they always put a swear or 2 to get it up as they think people dont like g or pg films
cuz the pokemon needed ash to call team rocket "c-ck suckers"
so in 2002 jules is malcontent over cooking a living lobster
thats against the law in some candy a55 places
once i microwaved a fruit fly
it got in and i didnt wanna deal with it
after trying, amy's butt buddy beals with da lobsters
so at a dinner party, amy sez maril cooked cr-ppy whe3n she got married but improved
like yuma s-cking at card games in yugioh zexal
also her blog is gaining popularity
so later amy boils a calf foot and makes goo outta itbut it f's out
her butt buddy sez if sher lies on her blog, no one will know but she sez julia (who's dead) will know
she gets kinda b--chy and whines about having to boen a duck soon
that sounds wrong
look up boning on youtube
\boning a chicken
boning a deeer
boning a pig
so later a christian science group wants to meet her
back in 49, maril had a rough time dealing with the cr-ppy a55 metric system and turning it into real numbers
spoiler; the metric system in non-canon
also maril invited her iimaginarty friend over next month
so her friend dorothy comes and they have cr-ppy a55 french food (spoiler; italiano food is better)(spiiler; italianoes are better than frenchies)
later at a wedding she has a smoke and dances
later her friend dorothy is pregnant
was tha dorothy's wedding?
i wasnt really paying attention.
so later she meets with people over making a cooke bookebut they dont want it
they want julia merril to do it
meanwwhile, in 2002, amy addams is gonna have a party to make beef bor gin yawn
making it makes amy think she can sense jukias presence
is this a horror movie?
amy and her butt buddy watch mad tv or something of a guy playing julia and laff
later, the amy overslept and her beef is charcoal
meanwhile, in 49, marils husband has tro ditch france as his assignment is almost up
also; American Hero Senator McCarthy, don't trust em for being in china
is he a manchurian candidate?
like frank sinatra?
so then Meryl bmeets the joy of cooking writer
she got gypped by the people who made the book after her husbsand did seppuku
later meryl gets people who wanna do her book with a 250$ advance and 500$ more after its done
thats a lot of cash in the 1840s
meanwjile, in 2002, amy makrs new beef and desert and the christian science guy cant make it
so evenruallly her butt buddy is sick of her blog taking over their life and they say they are married
he goes mental and starts b0ning the food wjile foaming at the mouth and screaming like a mongoloid
he just goes for a walk
back in the 40s meril goes to germany and makes photoes of her and husband in the bath with suds covering their nipss
her husband goes back to washington to do some cr-p
later maril tells one meember of her cooking trio she's cut from da team
wait, ahe's getting a cut of the cash even though she's been slacking
1 member wants her credit cut back
so her husband is grillred over his views and alleged communism and alleged gayness and he gets through it but is burned by it
so meanwhile, in 2002, amy is bummed out and at work her boss tells her he knows she didnt have the flu as he read her blog
also; he dont wanna be in it
who are you? j fk?
oppressing the free to keep your name outta the press?
you gonna b0ne her dead too?
oh and her husband ditched her and she compares herself to mwril
she gets a phone call some someomne telling herr not to quit and she gets basck to doing the blog
on the outsiide at might she meets her husband and he returns to her
iout at night in new york?
this is how svu eps start!!
so back in 49 the book people say shes got 700 pages and she wants it to be a 7 volume series
the book guys want something housewives can use easy and quick and dump her a55
maron sez to try again and reorganize and we get a montage of amy and julia doing cr-lp
so later amy has a food writer come by and she has 15 days and 24 recipies left
later amy gets morre fame and her mom changes engine gears and supports her
also all these editors keep calling her and offer media deals like books, plays and movies
make it a video game
cooking mama did pretty well
later julia child read her blog and someone tells amy
she's still alive?!
oh and she hates amy
back in 49 merils husbind gives her hope and says f em like hes robin in the gritty teen titans
gottas say f--k once per movie to get dat pg13 rating
imagine that in the tom hanks mr rogers movie?
tom; i'm mr f--king rogers!!
so merin gets an acceptance letter of her french cook book publishing
annd 1500 $ advance
but french food is a55!
eat japanese food! its actually good!
plus in japan they live to like 114
so back in 2002 any gets bummed over meril not liking her blog cuz she sez f too much
her husband sez only the julia in her head matters
amy sez julia taught her to cook and shes guy 1 day/recipe to do
amy dors a duck following a vid ofd meril and makes it in 001 years
later they go to the smithsonian and check the julia exhibit
then we see julia making dinner for her husband to 40s music and she gets a copy of her book
then we get text saying when julia and her man bit it and amy is now a writer in soviet new york
the end
that was pretty good
its nearly 3 hours but dont drag
its not high action but tels a good stoey
its well made and even though i poked fun at it, i didn't hate it
i was just joking around
for jule and julia 2 i want the 2000s one (i cant recall which) to get into japanese cooking and start making cool foods from there. but the 40s one''s ghost comes back and is mad at her for getting famous off her. so she goes to japan and gets some japanese ghost fighting armor and faces julia in a series of fights. eventually, julia's ghost summons a ghost army and turns new york into a h-llhole with daemons and ghosts eating and b0ning people. also its a 16 bit action game like alisia dragoon on sega genesis, snes, gba, tf16 and atari jaguar and you play as julie in samurai antui-ghost armor and fight with a naginata and go through the h-llscape of new york t free it. oh and the julia in her head is actually another ghost who is helping her and giving her power attacks when she fills up a power bar.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Tomorrowland Review

Note: i spell like its the future
this is my review on tomorrowland from the 2019s
wtf its by disney?
it stars the worst batman george clooney and i think its based on a ride at disneyland
so it starts with george giving a vlog about the scry cr-p in the future
thats a myth!
you could fit the whole population of earth, in texas, and we;d have fair room for all
he bickers with his director over being bummer and talks about his view on za future as a wiener kid at the worlds fair(wo  d f ir)
wiener kid made a jet packand is entering it or w/e
this little girl comes by asking why he made it and he sez cuz he didnt wanna wait for someone else to do it 4 him
alsio it dont work and grinds him on the dirt
he made it fir fun and this hugh laurie guy sez its useless as it dont work
the girl, named athena like the k o f character, likes him
he goes home and his dad bashes him for trying and he woont give up
later girl gives him a medal from medabots and sez shes going into this thing these guys are going into
so turms out this is in soviet disneyland and kid gets on da small world ride
remember that kid who got eaten by a gator at disney land?
or that guy who got his thing bit almost off when he was b0ning his gf's mouth and the ride turned on?
or stories of ex employees living in the rides?
that place is a horror movie waiting to be made
so he does down a hidden chute and finds a secret elevator thing that takes him to this wierd cloud city with robots
his jetpack breaks and a robot fixes it by welding a few spots
cuz randm welding fixes anything
then throws him off and he grabs his jetpack and saves himself b4 he splatters
after flyong round he meets the girl and george in atempted adult mode sez after that it all went to h-ll
i just realized this movie was around the same time as those awful danny devito/george clooney nesspresso adds
i got so sick of those, i asked an artist to draw george clooney drinking coffee outta danny devito's butt
then we see directors childhood wanting to go to the stars
thats how alien started
then at a nasa launch platform, girl sneaks in and uses a phone owned drone to avert the guards
aftertampering with it, she leaves and goes home
her bro talks to her abiut how she thinks the smallest actions change da future
so the butterfly effect?
laer she has a power rangers morpher like hing and it scans her dna
she helps her dad fix something as adult men cant do anything in movies today
also shes casy and the past girl was athena
at school the teachers indoctrinate them into commie cr-p like global warming\
spoiler; global warming is non-canon
at night she sneaks back on nasada and the cops get her
holy f the cop giving her her stuff back is garry optimus primal chalk
he gives her a pin that by holding it, she goes to another world (out of this world in some reigons on the sega)
a johnny depp looking guy is there in hand cuffs and after her dad picks hr up and pulls strings to keep feds from charging her, she gives him the pin
it has 0 effect on him but when she touches it whike being driven, shes moving in the wheat field
he takes da pin and at night she gets it back and falls down da stairs
is diss vr?
then she goos out at night on her bike and uses da pin in an open area and its a sci fi area like the 2010s star trek movies
its got rocketpacks and flying cars and...
inflatable suits?!
thats like that b--ch in evangelion had that all the expansion fetish guys draw her in!
she meets some kids and theres a big pool like thing and flying monorail
she nearly goes on a space ride but is slogging through water and the pin runs outta juice
at home she and bro look up da pin and its from da 54 world fair
she sez she went to the future
so cansey goes out and this britty girl goes to her place and bro tells where casy went
a retro store
she shows the owners the pin but neirther wants to tell anything so shes gonna go
but owner sez he knows what she saw
he sez theres some place where all the best nerds worked together and made something to show their effects but it never happened
she sez she found it but they press her and get phaser guns on her asking about this girl
they fire and bust da store are gonna ice her butr the girl saves her with a time stop grenade
after it ends they fight and the ownwrs are robots and nuke da store
brit girl is athena and gave her da pin
also shes a robot and drives cars
they crash, casy carjacks a guy who pilled over to help athena but athena recovers and gets with casy
athena sez she gave casy her lasy pin and the place she goes wont exist long if they dont do cr-p
so da cops check out da store and this neo from da matri looking guy arrives and wastes the cops who saw a robot head
so casy calls home and tells dad shes ok
athena sez she gave  casy a pin cuz caseys special and kid geoefe coolgy is speacil too
athena drops off casy at george kids place and a dog attacks but is really a holograham
geoege dont wanna talk to her and when she sez she has da button, george comes out and tellls her the whole thing is sh-t
later she somehow gets him out and sneaks ina nd locks him outta his own home and plays with his things
she sees a vid he did of him as a kid where he ttries to get athena to laugh and athena is p-ssed
geoege gets back in and sez he got thrown outta that place and there's a countdown to something
he sez if he knew how she'd bit it, w=ould she wanna know?
what is this? the cabinet of dr caligari?!
she sez yes cuz she's a dink
then not neo finds geoeges plavce and theres a fight with goeuregs house traps
neo gets george and is gonna ice him, but 1st has to tell him gov nix authorized it and in that time, casy beats neo dead
another neo comes after em and they escape in a bathtub rocket
big celeb caught in bathtub with teen girl!!
they meet athena and dtive off
man we're nearly 2 hours in
that felt like mothing
so geoge is bitter and malcontent like bruce wayne in batman beyond but that bruce was hetero
and he views athena as just a program and is cold and gave up on evetything
they go to an underground thing and geoege made a tekeporter
just use ur ki to instant translocation
so athena sez she chose the caasy as casay didnt give up
george and casy tekleport and it burns off 90% of their bloodsuger so she chuggs coke
they come out and are in soviet france and geoege gives her an item to knock out guys
at the eye full tower george sez tesla, edison, eye full and jules verne were working together
but tesla and edison were rivals
its like saying mcdonalds and burgerking worked together
they go in a secret room wiith a steampunk gear machine like outta castlevania bloodlines and it makes the eye full (i cant spell that)(also; i dont consent to french) tower open and a space ship comes up
so just like in sonuc adventure 2 battle how robotnik had a shuttle in the pyramids??
the neos chase him and da rocket takes off with blue lightening force and everyone sees
guess da gov gon ice everone in soviet france
the spaceship goes up, then back to da urth and to another dimension
i hear aliens are actually fallen angels and are from other dimensions (like h-ll)
i think thats where this tech is from
so they're back in tomorrow land and no ones there
high laurie comes up and sez geoege clooney was exiled from tomorrowland
but geoige sez casy can fix their world
oh and hugh lorry is nixx
he's gonna send george clooneyy to h e double disneyland
he shows em some holograms and they go to a hologram room with a trackball (remember those from the 90s computers?!) that she uses to look at da nasa thing
esp after oh bba mma ended it cuz he doubled the deficit
so hugh sez he uses tachyons which are faster than light to see through time
now we can see who really did j fk
shows marilin monroe as the crow on the grassy knoll
so she looks around time and earth and sees its all f'd up like aporias future in yugioh 5dS
hugh lorrie sez za warudo is ending in 058 days
is this the rapture??
look 1000 years into the future and see the new kingdom
also hgh is savfe in tomorrowland and if he lets the normies in they gon f up tomorrow land like they did their world
later george wakes up after being ko'd by hugh lorrie and probably b0ned while out
casy is bummed and we get a sad moment where she starts giving upp
another tacked on bummer monment where evertything is lost until they realize how to fix it
she figgerz out that as tom cruise i mean georige clookey was pirating the broadcast of the tomorrowland, she can send the message and signal to everyone
george tells hugh that the tachyon loop is making the future end and they gotta kill it to save the world
so its like sonic 06 where they gotta put out that candle and save the world
hugh dont want to give up his future machine and sez if he shows the people their coming end, they'd love it and go violence jack
he keeps going on a tirade about how no one cares and has lost faith in people
hugh shakes goeoges hand and george touches his watch and fighrs hugh
athena fights big a55 invid like robots and casy uses a nuke to the future machine
athena controls a robot and fights the other robot with it
after savrificing a robot to save casy, athena shuts the gate to a desert island with george and hugh fighting
they reopen the door and throw the nuke out and it blows as they get back in
casy sees a possible future ogh hugh killing georgy but she jumps in and takes the hit
oh its actually athena
we get a scene where she bites it and she reveals her thoughts about kid gerge finding out shes a robot
she sez its her fault george gave up and  now she made up for it by finding cassey
she sez to use her self detonate thing to nuke the machine
welcome to the machine!
the worse level on ecco the dolphin!!
7 mins of autoscrolling h-ll
geroge throws her from him on his jetpack into the machine and it blows
after he crashes in water from lightening bolt hitting him,
they then get enginiers in to get things running again and then its a year later
turns out this whole movie was him tekling his story to some kids and they want dreamers to make da future better
wait, i think those kids are robots
they had cyybertechnology in the 50s and rockets in the 1800s?
what is this? nadia the secret of blue water??
then a montage of people all over za warudo finding pins and going to the wheat field
a corner of wheat
the end
that wasnt so bad
it was like 3 hours but didnt drag
its sorta like a darker captain planet ep (besides when neil patrick harris got aids or the soviet girls cosin suicided from drugs)
it seems sorta like rambo 04 where he gave up on life but got his hope back from helping someone innocent
but that one was better
its not bad and its got some good ideas
plus the brittish guy being eviil like most disney movies
but he made good points about not letting the devients in or they'd f up his world
the effects and acting were ok and the music wasn't bad
plus theres no tacked on love story
unless you count george clooney and athena (who looks like a 10year old)
plus they were like the same age chronologically as shes a robot
its not a bad film but its not the kinda thing thats gonna stick with you like transformers the movie or ferris bueler's day off
its above average
for timorrowland 2 i want one of the kids the robots finds to fugure out that the dimension tomorrowland is in is near h-ll and the tech they were using since the 1800s and upgraded with is from daemons. also it slowly turns people evil by rotting their souls, as seen when hugh laurie was gonna let everyone bit it and george gave up. this kid prays and summons holy armor and takes on the robots and people who live there as they are turning into daemons. also its a 16 bit game like rocket knight adventures ans is on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as as the kid and free peoplre from the daemons by slicing it outta em with a holy blade and a jet booster.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Hulk Review

note; i dont spell like im angryu. unless that means bad
this is my review on hulk from 2003
its directed by ang lee (ang ry? ) and stars erich banna, nick nolte and sam elliot (wasnt he in ghost rider?) and jennifer collenly
ive seen it b4 and liked it
its bright and colorful and sunny] and has a good late 90s early 00s look
but everyone hates it
it starts with a long thing of sceince and dna and nerd cr-p abd experimenting on sea animals
ooh,. music by danny elf man
so this nerd tests his starfish magic science on monkeys and lizards to make it evolve or w/e the invid did in robotech ii the sentinels
so nerd sez he can boost da immune system but army guy tells him no human testing
then his wife poops out a baby and he grows
byw its the 60s like the sceintists in dexter lab season finale with the axe monster in japan
also he expetriments on his son
i think he tests him and finds his senicne he f'd him self with affected him
also the kid wont fight back when kids beat him with sticks
so army guy fibnds human blood sapmles in nerds lab and takes him off the project
so nerd trys to nuke da base
then he fights with his woman and kid wakes up as a teen and his new mom comforts him
later he goes to college and they make him hate his race, gender, species and orientation
oh f hes at berkley
they hate free speech therre
also stan lee and lou ferrigno are security guards
if someone messes with em, lpu beats em up and stan retcons em
also kid teen is bruce and is a nerd a55
and jennifer collenly is betty who just dumped his candy a55
they're both nerds!!
oh and they gotta make a success or they get f'd in funding
like pretty much every other science thing
look at ghost busters!
they test nenomeds on a frog and microwave it with gamma
it heals its wound and the frog blows
thats awesome
nowadays threy'd censor animals being ,microwaved
ok this movie is good now
also bruce wants to know about his rents and thinks they're in h-ll
just like batman, superman, spiderman, wolverine, robin, ect
i think cyclops's dad is alive in space or something but i only saw it in the 90s cartoon
also betty has a c-ck sucker guy into her with a lot of pull
he offers her a good paying job but she turns himm doewn cuz hes a c-ck sucker
also berrts dad is a general and the old janitor bit it so theres a new guy
broos remembers time with betty and she tells him her 1st memory where her dad was army guy from b4 and army guy goes out as a nuke goes off
also its a dream and bruce is there and kills her or w/e
but its adult bruce
is this trying to be total recall where the ending is told?
on his way ouut, bruce sees a dog that nearly bites him
hammer it!
remember; dogs dont understand words. they understand fists!
holy cr-p we're like a half hour in
its 3 hours with adds but dont feel like it
so after bruis has vague flashbacks and wakes up, he sees a guy with dogs outside
but when he dont look at em for a sec, they gone
this is how horror movies start
too bad california dont support the rugfht to bear arms
he comes at you, you can cap him
in normal states anyway
next dae c-ck sicker dont get along with bruce as he wants to use it to make his private soldiers regenerate instsntly
i like dat stare erich banna does
also thers a lot of multi=panel sjots where it shows like 3 screnns filmed in 1 frame
its good and i think adds depth
so then a guy is stuck in the gamma room and bruse takes the gamma hit and turns into a weird vhs effect
the nanomeds fiully heal bruce and improve him to better
betty is p-ssed he nearly got iced and bruce is joking about nearly blowing apart like chef boy ar dee
att night he has weord a55 dreams like a david lynch movie and wakes up with janitor nick nolte saying bruces real name is banner
also jinitor is his dad
is he gonna need oil to stop having seizures?
someone mash this movie into lorenzo's oil 2 where his experiments turn him into purple hulk
nick nolte tells him to watch out for betty and he tells him to gtfo
so betty meets with dad and warns her about bruce
huh, c-ck sucker was in breakthrough, the 2019 true story about that kid who died in ice water but revived
amd wing commander III
so its night again and bruce is getting p-ssed for some reason, having viet nam flash backs, and gets a message from betty
he hulks out, f's the place, and chucks the gamma thing out
nick nolte is in the closet probably j-rkin off to it and comes out to meet da hulk
good use of shadowsto cover the hulk to not spoil it
even though the trailoer showed everything
nick nolte has a moment with bruce and he has another flashback aand jumps out
next day (how many days is this set over?) betty finds bruise in bed and briuse sez he had a vivod drram
hope he dont cheet on her with rick jones, then splatter a guy for nearly running into him while jaywaking
wrong ang lee film
so he tells betty: janitor... IS the father!
audiance Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! dats a man maury! dats a man!!
her dad comes in and tells her to stay away from bruce
is this romeo and juliette?
nah. its actually good!!
she goes to see nick nolte and he dont think she accepts bruce for who he is
nick nolte comes on to her and suddenly stands up aand asks her to go
ohhhhh, he's gonna start j-rkin off!!
also bettys dad grills bruce over nick nolte and bruce dont know what hes talking about
also bettys dad lockred up bruces dad and will do the same to byice if he gets close to betty
and he had the lab made top secret and wont let bruise near it
then its night again andnick nolite sends his dogs after betty
so nick calls bruhe and tells him he experimented on imself and it carried to bruce and wants to use it
but bruce wants to cure it
but nick nolte sez he sent dogs infected with bices dna after betty
then c-ck sucker comes in and beats up bruce for seeing bettys dad behind his back (that sounds brokeback mountain)
bruck hlks out and stars b0ning him with his big greed d0ng!!
nah he chcks him out the building (wghich sghould kill him) and takes out the guards b4 jumping away
so hulk bruce meets betty and they calm in a silent mpvie like moment of reflection
but then the hulk dogs come and bruce fights emm for a while
main hero characters intentionally beats up dogs
cant have that in movies nowadays
dogs are higher status than people
look at all those idiots who run into burning buildings for their peaniutty buddys
btw this fight is with mile high trees in the forests of soviet california
after he beats the dogs dead he looks in the water and turns back
also hes naked and she sees his parts (but we dont)
hope he's not circimsized
although it would probably grow back now
so da nexte daye betty sez the anger and mental damage triggers the nanomeds
that dont make sense!!
mnenomeds head destroyed cells
theeres no cell damage in emotioms!!
its like saying a band aid can fix someone's name calling
alsio bruce likes being da hulk
so then the army comws in and tranq's his a55 and takes him to a base
i like the bright colors in here
its not all gray and dead like later 00s and modern movies
so bettys dad wants him sedated forever as if he goes mental he might kiill everyone
also he dont trust bruce as he fears hes like nick noldte dad
i like this
its like robotech
the army isnt the bad guy, but they do things bad for the heroes, but for understandable reasons
see? this film is pretty good
meanwhile, nick nolte gets da gamma machine and sucks nanomeds and cooks himself into a vhs effect
he cuts his hand and da bloo-d is weird like rubber
hes luffy from one piece!!
also he can meld with things like in devilman
a guard comes in and nolte fuses with the floor grate to lit him up, and a machine on his hand to squash him
if this were R ratecc we'd see his guts splatter like chef boy ar dee
so bettey and brusiuce go agroud the base as i guuess bettys dad gave up on keeping him under and they go to bruces childhoode home on da base
he starts freakin out over a room there and dontvwant betty to see
later betty her and dad are taken off the job and c-ck sucket gets to take over somehow
later, c-ck sucker wants to turn bruse hulk so he can cut off a hunk of him and experiment on it
so he cattleprods him and beats him out
bruce wont turn so he hooks him up to a machine to get him to not be conscioous enuf to resist the big green d0ng
so betty comes back home and sees nick nolte j-rkin off on the floor
he actually tells her if her dad lets him see his son bruse again he'd turn himself in
she sez she dont have authority and he tells her the story of how he wanted to ie bruce as a kid or cure him
thats pretty f'd
when bettys dad tookm him off th thing he tried to chop up bruce
mom tried to stop him and they fell and he shanked her
yet he didnt ice bruce when he had the chance
also; is this a pro-life movie?
nick nolte trying to kill his kid over genetic issues?
showing how bad it is?
also it iced the mom after it went wrong.
so bruce hulks out in his sleep and they spray him with white gooey expanding foam
c-ck sucker tries to drill bruce for dna but he hulks ooutta the foam
so he uses a grenade launcher but it bounced off and blew him apart
its done in a cool comic book pabel style that was good in da 90s
so bettys dad lets hulk go outside to fight him as their soldiers did diddley d0ng to him in da base
hilk jumps back home but army blows it so he leaps a few miles away
oh its day again
after taking out some tanks in daylight (which isnt as common for movies nowadays) he leaps for a few miles
bettys dad tells da prez he f'd up and he has to get da whip
bettys dad goes after him with choppers and hulk runs around like sonic the hedgehog and takes em out
he goes into a tall rocks thing and they blow em til it berrys him and they leacve
but hulk can survive thor and he gets out and goes to soviet california
bust the san andreas fault and sink it back to h-ll
that'll show em for banning straws while decriminalizing aids spreading
hulk jumps a jet and jet goes a bit to space to black out hulk
but pilot cant take it  and pulls off and hlk falls to da urth while having a vision of hm a bruce being grabbed by hulk and hulk falls into da water
i think in da comics hulk can breathe underwater
but in the genesis game he dies if he steps in it
seeing anger only makes hulk stronger, bettys dad lets betty try to calm him back
sorta like in hokuto no ken how toki says; violent water fights violent water and both destroy each other. but calm water envelpos violent water and absorbs it.
so after he shrinks like 800lbs like those blobs on the learning channel, they take him in and its night again
butw what kinda waistband does his pants have?!
its still fitting after losing all that weight
also; hows his heft change?
does he turn gamma energy into matter?
also also; its like soundwave or megatron in transfromers g1 with the size change
so they strap him to an electric chair and are gonna cook him if he does anything
]yet leave him alive for some reason
oh its cuz they wanted nick nolte to come in
they both say each should have iced the other and bruse recalls his real mom
bruce is sad over his f'd up life and nick nolte hugs him
he dont like ebing touched and tells nick off but nick sez da hulk is his real son
nick sez he found a cure as his cells can eat energy but its unstable and he needs bruces power
also he trys to turn bruce mad and bashes humanitya nd rules and sh-t
after all tries failed to make bruce hulk out, mick nolte bitees a power cable and berrtys dad turns on the death ray
but nick nolte eats the energy and becomes a big lightening storm monster
wtf this is awesome
bruke hulks out anndnick fuses with rocks to beocme a golem like in shining force and when hilk grabs him, he sucks ki outta hulk
hulk throes him in da lake and he becomes water
this is like a weird video game
we need fire next
they fight and nick sez da more hulk fights the more nick takes
they absorm the energy and the lake cools and hulk sez "take it all" and releases his ki nor w/e and nick nolte winds up like tetsuo in akira or w/e and turns into a huge water balloon
then bettys dad nukes em
wtf is going on?!
bruce has good memories of nick nolte and is in da water in his trunks
then its a year later and i guess no one checked  on the nuke site and bettys dad sex bruce bit it in da blast
but he sez, if he did survive, she should tell him if he contacts her
she sez she wont but he'd know as she's spyed on by big gov
she misses him and sez she loved him
meanwhile, in south america, bruse is treeating people in the junlge and some malcontents come by as i sguess south america is mad max, and jack their sh-t for helping their enemies
bruce sez; ur making me angry, u wont liek me when im angry, in mexican and it zooms out of the big green jubgle as hulk roars
probably after b0ning that guy dead with his big green d0ng
then end
and credits like a comic book
also mucis like a green jelly maximum carnage thing
richard ducker? sounds like a p0rn0 name
bill tlusty?! another one!!
but i liked this
its got a good 00s look and feel
its got emotion but its not dreary or depressing
its got heart but not bummer feels
its got actual light and daylight scenes without everything being gray
its got color
good music and acting
its got animals being iced and dogs as the bad guys for once
yeah its a bit talky but it never drags and has good flow
i liked it and thought it was a cool entertaining film
for hulk 2 i want him to be fighting in south america and has to save a village of people captured by thugs and gangs and are gonna be sold as butt slaves. also they make drugs. so he has to sneak in without getting too much attention so the military dont come in and find out he's alive. also his dad is living in him as a parasite and gives him energy absorbing powers and can suck peoples souls out and turn them into zombie slaves for getting intel. also its a 32 bit gba game where you play as bruce and gotta take out soldiers while avoiding doing too much damage as hulk as theres a damage meter. also there's various missions you gotta do to free captured people and you have the choise to ice people or suck out their souls to get a zombie slave to use as a helper at any time or can fuse with too sneak around in disguise.

Saturday, September 14, 2019

2012 Review

note; i spell like its 2012. in a bad anime!
this is my review on 2012 from the distant future year of 2009
its ditected by the guyb who did indepen dence gay, the 90s godlinlia and the day after tomorowew
most critics hate his films as they dont make sense but they make money
as does p0rn0
so this film  was on the hiostory channel in 2013 because they dont care
might as well have transformers the movie, it was set in 2005 (and was good)
i've never seen this b4 but i heard it was a55
so it starts like dbz ep 001 in space with solar flares, then its a rainy day in some 3rd world city in 2009
so this black guy meets soome friends and goes down into an underground mine
they find the sun is f ing out more than ever
so global warming is caused by the sun and not carbon going from 0,.002 to 0.003 (the dreaded 50 % increase)?!
oh its microwaving da earth core and heating it up
that dont make sense
wont it cook us b4 it nukes da core?!
later black guy goes to a white male politician who dont care about his findings
just like day after tomorrow and maybe indepancencce day
white guy takes him to da presadsent and later theres malcontents protesting the g 8
its 2010, the year transformers season 3 happened in japan and robotech season 1 was in
black guy goes to the g 8 and sez da world is ending
so is it like the rapture or something?
can we pray it away?
so da ritch pay people to help em as that money is gonna be so useful in the mad max/fist of the north star waste;and warrior world coming
then its 2012, after the 1st robotech war and transformers the headmasters and john cusack wakes up late for something
he dont notive the ground cracked a lot
is this, it is... soviet california
the state where they decriminalized aids spreading but give jail time for plastic straws
plus all the degenerates b0ning people w/o consent
i say we get all the good people like tommy wiseau and weird al out, and let it go out sodom and gomorrah style
as they were only destroyed after all 4 good people left
so joan cukas pix up his kids who dont get allong with him from his ex wife and her new bf and its totally not like war of the worlds with tom cruise which would be copyright ifringement
then a boat in the ocean gets ricked by a minor wave
this frenchie calls a chick hes probably b0ning about how something gon happen and his car blows
its the queen and hes this centuries daiana!!
so jonnhy kukaku is driving to go camping and da radio sez; go see yellow stone blow
when it blows you all go to h-ll!
h e double calefornia!!
oh f
the frenchie bit it in the same tunnel the queen wacked diaiana!!
it was a hit!!
like gacy getting all those teens in his place!!
so black guy is now da prez i think and he tells gis daughter that only a few people know somethings gonna happen
like robotech with the zentraedi?
and i thought it was just independence day that ripped off robotech!
the director of this probably watechs it and j-rks off to lancers shower scenes
so joan crukic finds a fence and over it is a place a lake was
if theres a fence, its there for a reason
so da gov gets johnne and his kids and at yellowe stone the gove finds its f'd
wait, yellowstone is in california??
i thought it was in the east
joan meets a guy there who knows his books and gets along with him
so the mine from b4 is heating up and they had to seal it
so joanh is let go and meets a conspiricy guy who laffs at the story da gov gave him
so johms a cr-ppy dad and his son dont respect him
who writes these movies?!
everything is about daddy issues
i blame the wiener kids who did drama and math instead of sports
they failed their dads and their blame dad for not liking their cr-piness
so john talks to conspiricy guy and he sez its end of da world
but downplays the bible and says its da mayans
he did a cr-ppy animation of it with evolutionist facts
da earth core wull melt and the crust will float around
that dont make sense
and he sez da gov will keep it a secret and ice anyone who knows
like with r fk taking out marlinin mobonie
and 1 guy who got j fk'ed sent conspirircy guy a map to a space ship
and they selling seats to da richest
and he tells johnie to gtfo
so ex wife and heer lusty bf talk about how cr-ppy john cusak is and the store they in starts cracking
odds are hes done
the store craks open and a huge chasm opens near em
so the store crack makes the news and joan kid sees it on tv
the leaders have a meeting and say they gotta evaculate
so then we getta boxing match with this sooviet guy and his owneer gets a call and books it and his blonde bimbo russian wife/gf
so john comes home to wifes place and dumps his wiener kids off
i thought this movie had cities collapsing
we're an hour in and nothing happened
and not like alien where its cool and atmospheric
or halloween or x men 1 where its a slow build and release
so soviet guy and his bimbosend john cusic to get soviet kods
they are cick suckers and tell curic they are gonna live on a ship and he will bitte it
he realizes the ctazy guy is right cuz some soviet brat insulted him and rents a plane to get him and his fam out
he calls hia ex wife and she dont believe him like everty movie like this
then theres a quake and joan gets his fam outta da house as it crumbles
he dtuves like a drunk as the citty falls apart behind him and hes just ahead of the falling road
theres traffic so he goes on da lawns
also all the destruxtion is bad cgi
he makes a bunch of last second ecapes with going under crumbling bridges and skidding past big holes
so they get to da plane and take off as the groud falls behind em and through the falling city as building nearly crush em and blow
its like in sonic when you walk on a breakable ground and it crumbles as you jump away
he tells his woman about the crazy consopicy guy in da woods and the ships as they watch california go back to h-ll from wence it came
so black guy from the start talks to his dad whos in the white house and not prez and tries to haveca tender moment
sp joane goes to crazy guys place and finds hes got a message playing
he finds hom on a mountain with a transmiotter and saying worfs to da people about following their various gods
then yellowstone starts spazzing out and hes probably on drugs as he chooses to stay and die
a good ref to people choosing to stay sinners instead of accepting salvation
so craxy guy bites it with a smile as a rock sends him to h e double new york
whos in this?
woody hartelson is the conspircu guy and danny glover from saw id the president
and thats the only omes i know of
alsoit was banned in north korea as 2012 was the 100th anniversary of their founders birth
at least they didnt censor the ninja turtles fighting with sausages as it was too much like nunchaku like the soviet republic of england
so joan drives back to da plane and flaming rocks fall at him buut every one misses
also he jumps a crevasse like in speed with the RV
so johan falls in a hole and they start lraving but they cant kill him as hes da hero and he runs to a moving planeto catch up and jump in
so they escape from the ash cloud which shoul kill them and the engines and take off
aparently, john ggot thr map to the place they have the starships
they gotta go to china
john; we're gonna need a bigger plane
good this that line wasnt used in jaws or speilbueg woyld sue
so south america gets f'd
white guy sez they are gonna try something for the people after everyone is on the starship
prez sez to his son that his wife sed they otta have a lottery, so anyone has a chance to escape
but if the smartest most slilled get on, its better for everyone
otherise u might as well roll dice
so da prez stays behind to bite it and the vice went out
the sppeaker of da house is gne and wjire guy from b4 tells black guy they iced all those people who were gonna teell
so prez tells his daughter hes oy coming in another sad moment
then gives 1 last speech very similar to independence day
soo john  crawfoeed goes to aiporte and meets soviet guy and they need a  copiolot and they use the piilot they have
they take off, go down,, and pull up as the city crumbles around em
then in asia, 2 monks talk and 1 gives the other a key
he goes down and chats with a geezer chick who takes off a chickens head offscreen
i saw my grampa take one off at age 4
on da plane johns woman chats with the soviet binbo who isnt married and living in sin
soviet guy payed 1 billion euro per seat
so they gon refuel in hawaii and its all f'd out with fire and brimstone
so blacjk guy and his sister chat about saving art insatead of people
and how john chiuikc who wrote 1 cr-pppy book maKING it on da ship
so 1 guy calls his son who has a japanese daughter
but japan hates mixed race japanese and froreigners
then ttheir place is f'd and theyb all bite it
so washington gets hit by da quake and all leaders expect italys come by as italy is lead by a man of faith
then japan and italy get f;d
at least austria is safe
thats 1 3rd of the axis
then a boat goes f''d by a wwave
poseiden adventure 2012
so joang cukik chatas with his ex wife for a bit about life and cr-p
so the poles have flipped and theres no word of anyone from land
and they running outta fuel
but the world shifted so they are closer than they thought
but then the engines f out and they go down
so they drive out in the socviet guys cars he had on da plane
then thertes choppers carrying elephants in the himelayasa which are ok with the snowy weather and high wind chill
so soviet guy ditches his bimbo after revealing she was b0ning the soviet polit
take dat 5kank!
so theres multiple space ships names ark 1 2 3 ect
no wonder this wss on the history channel
its based on Noah's ark
sorta like East of Eden is based on Cain and Able
but with Cain as the hero
What next? Sodom and Gomorrah from the POV of the sodomites??
also its revealed that joahn cuhaik did work on the bimn=bo
or maybe the pilot
not sure
also it turns out that only ther genetically best can go on as they were chosen by genetiscits
sounds like selective breeding
but when the germans did it in ww2 its seen as bad
also the 3rd world guy didnt get saved and gets wiped out by a tidal eave
just like in deep impact and maybe the day after tomorrow
and the super wave is comming in 28 mins
just charge ur ki and blast it away
so da monk brings john and friends over and the guard wont let em in
so they get in andfind the spaceships aere actually boats called arks
but they start ;eaving w/o the rich societ and the other s
and john and his homies get on
bimbo sees her dog names caesar like the fata55 in urotsukidoji III and he comes when she whistles
people falling off cliffs and a dog is ok as dogs are superior to humans to soviet hollywood
black guy sez they shouldnt let all those people bit it and white guy puts the needs of the survival of humanity over a few dinks
black guy sez cr-p about his 2rd world homie who bit it after discovering the secret that saved em
he gets em to let all those guys on
as the gates open some guy with john gets ground up in the gears
totally not like final destination 04
john is nearly crushed but the item of the gound up guy stops it somehow
soviet guy throws his son on the boat and falls to his end
so they cant close the gate and cant leave with it unsealed
they check the cams and findsee john and kids
and theres 1 min til the wave wastes em
it hits and water gets in da boat
so the hatches lock and seal a chick in this water area but im not sure who
btw these huge boats is a lot like the sdf 1 in robotech
and theres 3, just like robotech
so ship breaks loose and cant engine with the gate open
also theres a mountain they gonna hit
its everest
i should note that there is a whole ocean of wwater under the earth crust
so johnnyes kids are running outta air and we get a 3rd sad moment where jogn talks to his son then goes under water to save his fam
i dont get this
is he going through pipes?
oh hes trying to ungum the machine
if he had a switchblade he could cut it
so john and his son clear the gearand they get the engine working just in time
so after a brief fake out, hojn is ok
days later they meet up with ark 6 and 7 and the air is clear
john and ex reunite and they look at a new world
africa is now the talllest in da urth and the water is gong back
the end
that wasnt too great
i mean the 1st half is a crawl and the action is brief
its now horrible but its not very good
they story is predictable and standard and its like watching a bad mishmash of better shows cr-pped together
i didnt hate it
but i didnt care for it much
also; why did the melted core unmelt after only a few weeks?
did the sun siuddenly stop blasting it?
for 2012 2 i want them to reach land but find sea daemons have taken over the land and were revealed to be the cause of the core issues as they opened it up to the sun. the gov knew about them and was prepatred for it with hidden exosuits in the arks and the people fight the sea daemons with mech exo suits. also some people side with the demons as they dont think humanity is worth saving. alsso its a beat em up mech game on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar,gba and tg16.

Monday, September 9, 2019

Captain Phillips Review

note; i spell better than pirates... i think...
captain phillips
this is my review on captain phillips from 2013
its about how tommy wiseau created the phillips cd-i and the controversy of its spoon based controller
nah its about some guy who got enslaved by africa pirates in 2009
it stara tom hanks who won the oscar for getting aids and a bunch of people i never heard of
its directed by paul greengrass (which sounds like a p0rn0 name) who did a few jason bourne films
so it staets in soviet vermont in the distant furure year of 2009 where tom is readying for a trip
hes got a wife and she worryies about him going on these trips
hes worried about his j-rkoff kids skipping class and how today's world is higher competetion than his in the 30s or w/e
meanwhile, in the 3rd world, people live in pretty much mad maxwarriors on vehicleswith weapons coming to villages and wanting slaves
they want the people to steal ships to plundar
also i tjhink they have drug plants they grow and eat to boost their aggression
just play super mario 64
that game is a55
so they go out in cr-pmobile boats and this just went waterworld
maybe if they evolve they can get gills?
so tom shows up in the 3rd woeld or somewhere near it and gets on a boat to drive
takin diss tanka ov petrol
they're going to go past the 3rd world country the mad maxers are in
tom wants all the pirate cages locked so they dont get raided and b0ned dead
here's an idea; have some armed guards on board
or at least train the crew how to fight or use guns
h-ll give em a samurai sword
anything for self defence
otherwise its like destination truth wher they go out to the jungle,, unarmed, looking for sasquatch or dinosaurs
if they do find something, thats the end of them
look at kiing ong; they had a machete and held off the ape
so tyhe 3rd worlders use a radio tio find 1 ship is alone
the next day the pirates attack and the ship gets ready for an encounter
i never saw this b4 but i expecty a big errol flynn sword fight like in the 30s
they seem pretty calm for facing some violent malcobtents headed for em
they are gonna hold em off wih hoses
i'd perfer flamethrowers but i guess they are putting the malcontents lives above their own
also theres a new ship near em
maybe they should launch a few fighters and ready the main gun?
this isnt robotech!
huh, the boat is called the alabama
in forrest gump, tom hanks played a confederate boy
its conected!!
so the boats get closer and they realiz its armed pirates
tom bluffs em by talking to himself on the phone in 2 voices and pretending to have back up coming
the pirates get scared but 1 boat continues
tom u dumba55! oprn fire on em!!
tom moved da boat right so it makes a wave that stops the purates
later tom tells his crew they did well but 1 guy sez the pirates will return
tom aez hes gonna hold em off by shutting down and waiting for help
and when they say they dont like it, tom sez they can go home after the mission
we need a strong leader who kicks a55
like anatole leonard or rick hunter
not some candy a55 who tries to make peace with gacy
at night 1 3rd worlder kills another for getting in his face
is this like transformers the movie how it shows the difference between leadership of the good and bad guys?
later its day and the pirates attack again
why not run em over?
ur boat is bigger than theirs
the pirates claim to be the coast guard
just raise the shields so they blow apart upon impact
they dont believe em and the piratex open fire
tom uses the hoses to stop em bt it does diddley d0ng
tom then fires a flare gun at em
whhy not a REAL gun?!
is this a brittish boat?!
the pirats try getting a ladder on and the tom trys to shake em off
it dont work and the pirates board
ur f'd tommy boy!
the pirates ditch their cr-pmobile boat, implying they have no intent to leave
viking style
tom tells the crew to hide in the ship and the pirates shoot off the locks on the cages
didnt this happen in that steven segal film under seige?
if only jean claude van damme was here
he;d do the splits and punch em in the parts!!
so the pirates get to the head rule i mean room and talk english to tommy
they anna know how much they an jack from the boat and tom tells em its american
if they b0ne tom hanks, who gives who aids?
the boat f's out and head pirate sez hes capyain now
good 4 u starscream
he hoes on the p a and sez every min he ice someone
they take a guy there hostage and wants the crew to come out
tom talks him into searching the ship
he tells em where he's gonna search and mrntions the emergency power with his hand on the intercom speaker so the crew hears em
btw this is what happens when there's no good guy with a gun
star wars where only the empire has blasters
the pirate keeps wanting to check the engine room but tom comes up with excises not to
in the galleyhe averts them from a guy in the cold storage with excuses and topic changes
they go on and storage guy tells the crew to break glass as one guy is barefoot
they get there and barefoot cuts up his feet
starscream is onto tommy and is gonna search da room even with barefoot all mutiilated
storage guy is maknf sounds to mislead the guarrds and hits the power box to kill the lights and escapes b4 guard gets him
starscream sends tom up with barefoot and looks areound in da dark
in the dark a crewgy wastes him
wait; they chop him up a bit and take him hostage
then call on the intercom to ttade him
tom wants to give him 30 000 $ and a life boat which starscram GREES too
but 1 guy wants millions
greedy degenerate
they are gonna leave and they catch storage guy
the crew brings up staracres but a guy wants to take tom hiostage
tom shows em how to do the lifeboat and crew sends in starscream
they beat out tom, eject the lifeboat and get away
looks like ur fd tommyboy
maybe if the crew had firearms and training they could've picked em off b4 they got there
a military ship is sent to save tom
also the alabama boat goes after tom to the 3rd world
tom tells thee piratres his boat was bringing food for africans
tom gets a 1st aid kit for barefoot to fix his chopped up feet and treats it while being nice to him
also the navy seals are heading for the rescue
good guys with guns
later its day again and tom has some water but they take it and say its only for them
later america authorized any means to resolve it
so 1 guy sez he can get 6 million $$ for tom
later theres an arguement over letting tom talk and sudenly, a boat is next to em
also its night
they chat with the boat and its the US Navy
they say if the Navy tries anything they'd ice tom
but if they ice him theyres no reason not to shred em
they send guys on the ship at gunpoint and pirates bring out tom who sez hes in seat 15
pirates barter for 10 million $$ and a gun next to tom goes off and everyone spooks
tom tells Navy hes ok and pirates book it
1 pirate sez he always wanted to go to america
tom trys to talk sense into them to surrender as the Navy won't let em get away
they dont care as they "came too far" and continue on their dark path
later its soviet night time and tom goes out to whiz.
he shoves barefoot in the water and makes a swim for it
my cable box updated right after he dove in so i think i missed some as it needs to do this every night at 3 am
they try to kill tom instead of letting him return to his family as they are inhuman mnsters with only evil in their essense
tom goes back to the life boat and takes a guy with him
but guy pulls hiim back
they beat on tom and in the real verasion i think they were b0ning him
then a chopper from the Navy comes at em
1 guy pulls tom out with a gun to his head
a good sniper could oick that guy off and save tommy
get the guy who did j fk
the real guy
not that lee marvin or w/e
they get tom to tell em to stand down and tom sez starscreams not just a fisherman
then a negotiator calls and sez he knows who they are and names em and that they contacted their tribes elders
so later the Navy meets with the purates and tellls tom to stay in his seat
barefoot is brought on the Navy boat to meet the elders but none are there
the Navy blasts them with high octane light and they cant see
then they tow them on a cable
so they eventually start tieiing up and beating tom hanks and probably b0ning him in the real version and string him up blindfolded by his arms
the Navy shreds the pirates with gundire and tom is safe
tom freaks out and they arest barefoot
the dr's check out tom and he's having ptsd from nearly being killed by those animals
text sez tom returned to his fam and later to sea and barefoot was tried and haas 35 years in jail dropping the soap
the end
i liked this
good drame. good plot. good plans and actions of the heroes
no tacked on love story. no tacked on sad moment. nno doofy kids eating screentime
grown men fighting and outamarting grown men and dealing with pg fights and action
sorta like robotech ii the sentinels
not much to say but its just well done
oh and as its a true story it'll wind up on the history channel
for captain phillips 2 i want him going on another mission and this time, he's ready for pirates. when a swarm of pirates finds out he's on this boat, they attack with full forces and try to bring him down for him being part of their homies being taken out. but now he's hit the gym and roided up into a big buff hulk hogan like guy who now has his crew packing heat! most of the film is sending out armed speeder boats with nail guns and flamethrowers to take out the pirate ships while wearing kevlar gear. also when the pirates get on the boat he takes em on in hand to hand combat and uses a hammer to mash em up. its also a 16 bit game on sega genesis, snes, gab, atari jaguar and tg16 where you play different levels of taking on pirates and fighting over several days of levels of battle.

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Minority Report Review

note; i dont read books but like like the author. but not enuff to spell right
minority report
this is my review on minority report from the 00s
its based on a story by phillip k dick who wrote the books that were made into blade runner and total recall
it starts with 2 living humans making out  like in thx1138 and a nerdy guy sktabs up a chick
but its really a vision from a psychic in the department of pre crime
its set in the distant future year of 2054, around 10 years after the invid left earth in robotech
tom cruise is a cop who arrests people b4 they commit crimes
btw the whole world is this cyber blue/gray colored thing and pale and colorless
its like its got too much light
almost like a 20s film
so they check the name and run it through the system and run em against the vision they have saved in the computer
so nerd has a wife and son and cops have issues finding their place
hay, colin feral is in this
he was in the bad total recall
so the psychoics can see crimes up to 4 days in the future but crimes of passion are harder to stip as theres no premedication
but not many are doing premeditated crimes now
so nerd goes out and sees a guy going into his place
wife is gonna b0ne that guy and nerd hears
looks like she drove him to it
so they are b0ning in his bed and nerd is right beside the bed
he's gonna shank her but tom stops him and arrests him for almost killing someone in the future that was averted
then the psychics have an autism attack as sort ofn a deja vu of an event they prevented
being one of those psychics must s-ck as they gootta feel people being killed over and over
sorta dante's inferno
then we get an add about how homicode was outta control and they got 3 espers to make the precrime unit to stop it
then we see a thing of tom crooz meeting an eyeless guy at night in the rain
this seems more like a paul verhoeven film than a speilberg mocie with its dystopian gov
paul loves that nazi stuff
it reminds him of his childhood in ww2
so tom cruise loves in a cr-ppy apartment and watching holograms or skypes of his son or w/e
its like uncle rico in napoleon dynamite how he keeps living his high school football days
also video of his wife
but the human rights peole are standuing against the future crimes thing and its  up for review by the voters or w/e
colin ferral is investigating and the espers cant stops raepes or suicides
only murder as its the most damaging
do the unborn have rights in here?
as wont any attacks on their lives trigger the psychics?
i assume animals dont have rights as you cant murder an animal
once i iced 100 fruit flies in an hour
am i the next gacy?
what if the person killing them thinks its the right thing and feels justifiied?
or an assisted suicide?
i've never seen this b4 so i dont know if this will answrer any of these questions
oh and cops are not allowed in the psuycnoi room as they dont wanna be accused of tampering
so the guys go in to check the ESPers and they are on hormones all the time and have machines hooked to their brains
colon compares the cops to priests as they change the future and save people
colon thinks theres a flaw in the system and tommy thinks its perfect
tom is alone with the spychics and 1 jumps out, grabs him, shows him a vision on screen of hi icing someone and tells him CAN YOU SEE?!!?
tom goes to a room with killers who were stopped and put in stasis lock
1 guy had his eyes swapped out to trick the eye scanners and they cant identify him
cant they use dnz testing to find it?
so tim wants to go investigating the girl eye swap was gonna kill and takes a file from the room thats not supposed to leave
so the direcotrt or the thing, max von symndow from judge dredd, is worring the gov is gonna take the precrime from them
btw, 3 gray people with tech implants in charge of the people? its contra Shattered soldier!!
so the psycjhickos sense another murder and tom goes at it finding where its gonna happen with gloves and a screen right outta johnny Mnemonic
the viideo shows tom creuise killeing the guy
tom spazzes out seeing him wasting a guy in the future and gets outta there
took almost an hour for him to be accused
in the elevator colon confreonts him annd it seems hes plante ddrugs on tim
tom escapes as hes got a gun and pulls it on colin and gets out in a future car like batman beyond
the car goes autopiolt and tom kicks out the window and climbs onn it
wtf its going down a building like sonic in escape from the city
he hops from car to car and through a window but gets 00 cuts
colon confronts max who's toms friend and blames him for not reporting the drugs tom was on
wait, he really is on drugs?
then hes the bad guy!
string him up!!
so the cops eventually get him  but he jack reachers his way out
theres a cool jetpack fight and they bust through rooms in a buuilding
later tom is having a round of fatal fury with colon in a car factory
so tom gets away in a car and goes to some placewith tentacle vines
this just went la blue girl
he goes in the greenhouse and the vine poison starts effecting tom
so this geezer lady gives him the antidote and turns out she invented precrime
she did genetic experiments on kids crippled by their parents drug use and the 3 that survived had powers
and the 3 pscyhicncs are the only survivors
this is why you donty dfo drugs
also sometimes 1 of the psuychikcs disagree and the reports are destoryed after the suspect is caught
also its not perfect and many innocents were arrested
and if the word gets out, the system would go down
turns out; the report stilll exists somewhere in the esper who prediected it
tom feels bad he locked up innocent people
and he has to go back to the base to get the report
but to avoid being eyescanned i think he's gonna get his eyes changed
so he goes to get his eyes changed and the dr was arreseted by tom for cooking people or something
so colon investigates toms ex wife and she diteched him cuz he reminded her of their son who got wacked
after his eyes are removed he needs to wait for his new eyes to grow in or they wont work
while sleeping he flashbacks to hisvacation at a poole with his son and after holding his breath underrwater for a bit, his son is gone\
just like in pet semetaRY; you dont watch ur kids, they bite it
the next day, the cops show up and release the spider bots which are cg things like in all other speulburfg movies
they search the building which makes me question why tom crooz needed to confiem withch house was the nerds when they could have all taken 1
tom hides in an ice bath to avoid the heat searchers
so they catch tomwith da spiders when he comes out the wayer and they scan his eye
toms not tom according to the spiderbots which reminds me of the mousers from ninja turtles and the cops book it
were the spiderbots scanning everyones eyes w o consent?!
there were kids they were eye b0ning!!
later tom is out and injects his face with something that f's it up so they dont recognize him
inside he gets his old eyes out but drops em and they roll
what is this?! Beetlejuice?!
so he uses his ex eyes and gets in the building
you'd think they'd have denied his access
he meets a friend and they get in the esper oom and is caught so he flushes himself and the girl psychic down the toulet like opool they are in
and the other 2 depended on her to work
like south park with the manatees
tom goes to this shady guy with the esper to get info outtas her head by hacking
the guy wants to keep any images he gets oytta her and when tom sez no, he sez "take her to radio shack"
that exists in 2054?!
tom twists his arm and makeshim read her mind
they find no minority report but she spazzes out and shows him a rewind of the killing of that chick the eye swap guy iced
then the cops get in and tom books it with her
this is seeming a lot like total recall
esp with her giving him fiture help
she has him stand behind where a balloon guy walks and the cops cant see him
so tommy goes to da hotel hes gonna kill the guy and in 1 room he sees a photographe of his son
he realizes its the guy who killed him and hes gonna ice him
esper tell him he still has a choice and tom fights the guy
the guy implies he b0ned toms son dead and sez sorry
tom starts beating on him and is gonna cap him
dont do it tom! hes a virgin!!
well... kinda... not really
nstead he arrests him
the guy sez tiom supposed to kill him so his fam gets money
turns outhe only said he b9ned his kid dead to make tom kill him
but wont tell him as if he does they wont pay his fam
so he pulls toms gun on him and kills himself with it
with the girl as a witness
so later da cops get there and see that its too perfect a crime scene and colon sispects it
colon shows montana max the data he got of the eye swap guy killing and hes got 2 different futures of te same event
its the deja vu but really an alternate thing
colon thinks the deja vuu is a guy who saw the vision and copied the 1st vision to make tthe tech guys think its an deja vu
then mighty max guns down colon will ferrel as the espers cant see it
later tom talks with his wife about reading tom sawyer to his son who was scared by it
so tom talks with esper and its revealed her mom is the one who eye swap iced
then the cops come in and get em and put this halo on to cook his brain
they take him to the storehouse and max sterling talks wuth toms woman
so maxie mounds goes to a banquet and wins the thing he was doing for to keep his whatever he wanted
then tom calls max ballard and tells him he iced the espers mom as she wanted her kid back after getting off drugs
so he could keep her as a mind slave and use her to make his world without crime
created by a crime
so tome is somehow out and about and the esper is showing everyone the maxx killing the ex junkie
so max goes to face tom and has a choice
kill tom and prove the system works, but go to jail
or not kil hi and end the system by proving its wrong
so he caps himself
didnt see dat comming
so they end the precrime system and free the improsoned but watch em
also tom gets hids woman pregnant
the psychics were sent offf to somewhere out there to live in peace
the end
that was pretty good
a bit long but not as bad as titanic
it had good themes and ideas and shows the dangers of beliving in a sysatem too much
good effects and music and its made the same yyear as reign of fire
i liked it and im glad i got to see it
for minoroty report 2 i want tom to arrest a guy and it turns out its his son. he tells the story of his life in the 3rd world fighting commies and cannibals and being a slave for a few years. its also a 32 bit 2d actiopn game on gba, playstation, sega saturn and n64.

Friday, September 6, 2019

A Few Good Men Review

Note: Imma good man. you can teel my by spell
A Few Good Men
This is my review on a few good men from like 92 or w/e
its got terry crewes i mean tom cruise and a breif appearence of jack nicholson
i've seen this b4 but that was decades ago
wtf the tv warning sez its got nude scenes
do we see tom crews naked?!
its widescreen
fix dat
so its at a military base by soviet cuba and these guys start attacking a guy at night and tieing hiim up
are they gonna b0ne him??
and this was during dont ask dont tell
so its directed by rob reiner qwho did stand by me, the princess bride and North
its also got demi moore, kiefer sutherland and kevin bacon
also xander berkley from candyman 001 and cyba gooding gx
so demi sez the guys who b0ned that guy killed him
i guess he was b0ned dead
the dead guy was a j-rkoff and the killers were good soldiers
she wants em tried in washing ton
after talking about her when shes out they bring her back and tell her shes off the case
as its probably gonna be a small thing
later tom crooz is playing baseball because he s-cked and a soldier wants him to deal with a sokldier who bought oregeno thinking its chronic
tom argues him down to a light sentence in the brig
where ernest borgnine will torture and b0ne him like in from here to eternnity
so tom crews gets the case and has to fly to an american base in soviet cuba
so tom goes theres and demi tells tom the dead guy tried to get transfered out
after that he figgers he can get the accused 12 years
they read dead guys letters and dead guy was gonna out a guy for shooting over the fence into soviet cuba by mistake
also he had heat exhaustion and the army p-ssed on him
keefer reports to jack nicholson and wait this is a flashback
jack dont look well on the dead guy and wants his f'd for not living up to his standards under a guise of being american
that sounds more soviet than amercian
also he's gonna ice eefer if keefer dont get dead guy's grade up
later demi busts toms a55 over not taking the case srs and how he dont care about it and is just eating time til he gets his service done
oh yeah and the rag the stuffed in dead guys mouth was poisoned and theres issues with the autopsy
tom gets 2 straight laced guys who are trained to start and end each sentence with sir to tell him what is a code red
oh its the guys who klled the guy
they said they were just gonna shave the dead guy but he died
and they didnt put poison on his rag
also they did it cuz he disnt respect the chain of command
the chain of command is unit, code, God, country
Country is above God?!
What is this?! England?!
oh and tom crews is defending em
btw code red reminds me of the mountain dew
so tom talks with a guy who thinks the accused need to be in jail
also 1 guy told tom that the guys were told by someone not to touch dwad guy
then the actually go to soviet cuba
i was wrong about it b4
tom needs to change his cloths as white makes them a target for the daemonic cuban commies
they meet jack nickleson ND jack knew toms dad
so tom and dem chex out dead guya pl;ace and keeefer blames dead guy for getting dead
later he eats lunxh with jacky and jackie sez he was gonna transfer dead guy out but he bit it b4 it came
demi asks him about code reds and that there was a memo sent out saying no code reds
jack sez demi outranks tom and he likes mouth b0ning superiopr officers
jack tells em off and shows hes not to be scared and tom asks for a copy of dead guys yransfer order
also jack tells tom to ask him nicely and calls his uniform f-ggity
surprised tom allowed that in this movie
then again, he was in interview with the vampire
at night some guy vanishes and demi bugs tom over it
also she thinks jacko ordered the code red
so they go to the accused and they tell him jack told them to code red dead guy
they never mentioned it b4 as tom never asked
these guys are freekin robots!!
might be all the forced vaccines like new york
also he told everyone publicly not to code red but went in their rooms privaTLY and told em to do it
man we're like an hour in
that didnt feel it
they tell kevin bacoon and he tells emm he cant help em and they should take da deel
tom tellls em the deal but they dont wanna take it as they were just following orders
as they'd get discharged after 6 months and they dont wanna give that up, they wont take it
1 guy goes on a turade abut how he has honor
what would you have?
or years of being bummed in jauil?
so toms had enough of this sh-t and wants to dump em
then we get a bmmer moment as tom needs to sit alone and think for a few mins at night
so like over an hour into the movie they have the court case
they say ten hundred
for the time
shouldnt it be one thousand?
tom realizes they chose him so the case wont make it to trial as he'd pleade em out
so he gets his engine gear on and jumps right into the work's a55
tom works out his defence for em
they were following orders and didnt put poison on the rag
so adter anothef few weeks they have the trial 1.5 hours in
the lawlethy sez the poison on da rag bled his lungs and killed dead guy
1st witness brings up the accused shoting at soviet cuba and how he was never charged
btw aparently this was written by the druggie who did the west wing
then cuba gooding II sez they were given the order by jaco o lantern not to tourn i mean touch dead guy
tom gets em to skip the other 22 guys who would say the same thing
a dr sez the poison made his lungs burn suger instead of oxygen and it made him bleed somehow
tom argues dead guy had a medical issue that made him burn suger faster
and gives evidence that he said dead guy had the same symptons that the cindition needed
and if a guy he gave a clean bill bitb it then he'd be in the cr-pmobile
so they call the trial untol ten hundred
its not ten hundred you inbred cannibal!!
its one thousand!
even freekin yugioh didnt say that!!
learn tio count!!
after that 1 guy goes on a tirade over demi and toms screw ups and how the case is going in the toilet
later tom cruise is watching baseball because he has no soul and baseball s-cked as bad as his character and demi comes by to have him to dinner at a seafood place
i thought she was jewish
aat dinner he thinks hes gonna loe the case and those kids are gonna go straight to h e double cuba
at court later he interviews a guy who got a code red for dropping a weapon and how 1 guy protexcted dead guy from code reds
attack lawyer exposes that code red aint in the manuel or rule book
so tom points out the dinner area aint in the book either and he still ate
later its night a guy who was missing who signed the transfer order 5 days affter dead guy went to h e double italy sez jack nixheklson was behind it and gives tom more info by showing up in the back of toms car
is he a ninja?
tom tells becon who sez if they asccuse jack without enough evidence they get court marshalled
so this is what happened to that guy after the dance in footloose
next day he cross examines keefer souther land over his ranking of dead guy
southernman sez he only reeports to nicholson and God
keefer had a man kept from food and drink except water for a week but he dont consider it a code red
and f\d over a guy for brringing the guy food
that happened in riki-oh!!
this ripped off riki-oh!
the guy was one of the accused
and after thar punishment he learned not to disobey orders
tom points out after that he''d not go against orders
like da order to not touch dead guy
then its night and he finds kevin nichelong (jack ) edited info to make the logbook say cr-p tha helps him
at night the car guy puts on his uniforne and eats his gun as he dint wanna testify
what are you? a samyurai?
thats cultural appropriation!
plus samurai use katana
i want a feudel japn ver of this where we see him going seppuku
one witness who was the other of the accused cracks under pressuree of the cross examination and names the other guy as the source of the order as he was out when other guy got the order
so tommy gets drunk and hits her
he did not hit her
he did nooooooooot!!
he gives up on the case and demi sez he asked jackolson for the transfer as he wanted to see his reaction
tom goes mental and acts like a j-rkoff jim carrey and trashes the place like tommy wiseau
the guy ate his gun
this ripped off the room
but 4 duimensionally
so then we get another bummer moment where jack nicksolion i meen tom croos thinks of his dad
so tom decides to put nicklesin on the stand and lure him into saying it as jack dont wanna hide it
after tom finds out demi put his bat in the closet, he whines and gets it
then gets an idea and goes out and does stuff
b4 trial a chick tells tom not to go after jacky if he cant get him
so jack gores on the stand and repeats his lies
tom points out that dead guy didnt pack or call anyone b4 his alleged transfer
jack tells him he dont know why dead guy wasnt ready and to get on with his case or let him out as those accused are on trial and need more than this
clever girl
mocking him while faking care
so jacko walks off but tom gets p-ssed and calls hiom back
he brings up hes got 2 witnesses that wiill counter jacks testifmony afterward
tom sez if jack gave orders not to touch dead guy, why was he in danger and needed to be moved?
tom gives a buncha accusations and sez he wants da truth
jack sez u cant hamdle the truth and sez killing those who go against the protoculture saves lives
he goes on a tirade about how he and his forces defend freedom and are needed
good points
but killing the innocent isnt the way
just kick him out
so he asks if axk ordered the code red and jack admits it
hes arrested and sez tom weakened the country after saying hes gonna take out toms eyes and p-ss in his skull
so the accused are found not guilty of killing but are gyilty of unecoming conduct and are kicked outta the service
1 accused is confused about why hes guilty as he was just following orders
the other sez they let the guy they killed down
tom admits to kevoon the witnesses he said he'd call was a bluff
the end
tom cruise gets higher billing than jack nicholson?!
thats f'd!!
david bowe was in this
not the guy from the vampire movie i did who got aids
as is james brown
and jeff jones
lots of celeb sound alikes
but i liked this
good dialogue
good acting
good 90s music
good story
it was well made
its got flow and doesnt drag
its got heart and a good twist ending
they win, but with a catch
like league of super evil
but this was pretty good and even the bad guy makes good points and isnt fully bad
sorta like robotech
you can understand him
sorta like with magneto from x men
or anatole leonard in robotech how he was malcontent over his planet nearly wiped out by alien attacks so he'd give the enemy no quarter
for a few good men 2 i want it to be a few months later and the base has become weaker with the new soft candya55 leading it. he thinks all problems can be talked out and isnt on guard. eventually the cubans attack and start b0ning and eating the people alive. when the people try to fight back, they are given orders not to hurt the enemy and to talk their issues out. this leads to many men to be eaten alive til they are dead. but a small gorup of soldiers who didn't lose their edge stands up and fights the invaders with modified weapons to blow them to chunks. its also an 8 bit run and gun game on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as 1-4 soldiers and fight off the cubans in the area.