Friday, September 20, 2019

Tomorrowland Review

Note: i spell like its the future
this is my review on tomorrowland from the 2019s
wtf its by disney?
it stars the worst batman george clooney and i think its based on a ride at disneyland
so it starts with george giving a vlog about the scry cr-p in the future
thats a myth!
you could fit the whole population of earth, in texas, and we;d have fair room for all
he bickers with his director over being bummer and talks about his view on za future as a wiener kid at the worlds fair(wo  d f ir)
wiener kid made a jet packand is entering it or w/e
this little girl comes by asking why he made it and he sez cuz he didnt wanna wait for someone else to do it 4 him
alsio it dont work and grinds him on the dirt
he made it fir fun and this hugh laurie guy sez its useless as it dont work
the girl, named athena like the k o f character, likes him
he goes home and his dad bashes him for trying and he woont give up
later girl gives him a medal from medabots and sez shes going into this thing these guys are going into
so turms out this is in soviet disneyland and kid gets on da small world ride
remember that kid who got eaten by a gator at disney land?
or that guy who got his thing bit almost off when he was b0ning his gf's mouth and the ride turned on?
or stories of ex employees living in the rides?
that place is a horror movie waiting to be made
so he does down a hidden chute and finds a secret elevator thing that takes him to this wierd cloud city with robots
his jetpack breaks and a robot fixes it by welding a few spots
cuz randm welding fixes anything
then throws him off and he grabs his jetpack and saves himself b4 he splatters
after flyong round he meets the girl and george in atempted adult mode sez after that it all went to h-ll
i just realized this movie was around the same time as those awful danny devito/george clooney nesspresso adds
i got so sick of those, i asked an artist to draw george clooney drinking coffee outta danny devito's butt
then we see directors childhood wanting to go to the stars
thats how alien started
then at a nasa launch platform, girl sneaks in and uses a phone owned drone to avert the guards
aftertampering with it, she leaves and goes home
her bro talks to her abiut how she thinks the smallest actions change da future
so the butterfly effect?
laer she has a power rangers morpher like hing and it scans her dna
she helps her dad fix something as adult men cant do anything in movies today
also shes casy and the past girl was athena
at school the teachers indoctrinate them into commie cr-p like global warming\
spoiler; global warming is non-canon
at night she sneaks back on nasada and the cops get her
holy f the cop giving her her stuff back is garry optimus primal chalk
he gives her a pin that by holding it, she goes to another world (out of this world in some reigons on the sega)
a johnny depp looking guy is there in hand cuffs and after her dad picks hr up and pulls strings to keep feds from charging her, she gives him the pin
it has 0 effect on him but when she touches it whike being driven, shes moving in the wheat field
he takes da pin and at night she gets it back and falls down da stairs
is diss vr?
then she goos out at night on her bike and uses da pin in an open area and its a sci fi area like the 2010s star trek movies
its got rocketpacks and flying cars and...
inflatable suits?!
thats like that b--ch in evangelion had that all the expansion fetish guys draw her in!
she meets some kids and theres a big pool like thing and flying monorail
she nearly goes on a space ride but is slogging through water and the pin runs outta juice
at home she and bro look up da pin and its from da 54 world fair
she sez she went to the future
so cansey goes out and this britty girl goes to her place and bro tells where casy went
a retro store
she shows the owners the pin but neirther wants to tell anything so shes gonna go
but owner sez he knows what she saw
he sez theres some place where all the best nerds worked together and made something to show their effects but it never happened
she sez she found it but they press her and get phaser guns on her asking about this girl
they fire and bust da store are gonna ice her butr the girl saves her with a time stop grenade
after it ends they fight and the ownwrs are robots and nuke da store
brit girl is athena and gave her da pin
also shes a robot and drives cars
they crash, casy carjacks a guy who pilled over to help athena but athena recovers and gets with casy
athena sez she gave casy her lasy pin and the place she goes wont exist long if they dont do cr-p
so da cops check out da store and this neo from da matri looking guy arrives and wastes the cops who saw a robot head
so casy calls home and tells dad shes ok
athena sez she gave  casy a pin cuz caseys special and kid geoefe coolgy is speacil too
athena drops off casy at george kids place and a dog attacks but is really a holograham
geoege dont wanna talk to her and when she sez she has da button, george comes out and tellls her the whole thing is sh-t
later she somehow gets him out and sneaks ina nd locks him outta his own home and plays with his things
she sees a vid he did of him as a kid where he ttries to get athena to laugh and athena is p-ssed
geoege gets back in and sez he got thrown outta that place and there's a countdown to something
he sez if he knew how she'd bit it, w=ould she wanna know?
what is this? the cabinet of dr caligari?!
she sez yes cuz she's a dink
then not neo finds geoeges plavce and theres a fight with goeuregs house traps
neo gets george and is gonna ice him, but 1st has to tell him gov nix authorized it and in that time, casy beats neo dead
another neo comes after em and they escape in a bathtub rocket
big celeb caught in bathtub with teen girl!!
they meet athena and dtive off
man we're nearly 2 hours in
that felt like mothing
so geoge is bitter and malcontent like bruce wayne in batman beyond but that bruce was hetero
and he views athena as just a program and is cold and gave up on evetything
they go to an underground thing and geoege made a tekeporter
just use ur ki to instant translocation
so athena sez she chose the caasy as casay didnt give up
george and casy tekleport and it burns off 90% of their bloodsuger so she chuggs coke
they come out and are in soviet france and geoege gives her an item to knock out guys
at the eye full tower george sez tesla, edison, eye full and jules verne were working together
but tesla and edison were rivals
its like saying mcdonalds and burgerking worked together
they go in a secret room wiith a steampunk gear machine like outta castlevania bloodlines and it makes the eye full (i cant spell that)(also; i dont consent to french) tower open and a space ship comes up
so just like in sonuc adventure 2 battle how robotnik had a shuttle in the pyramids??
the neos chase him and da rocket takes off with blue lightening force and everyone sees
guess da gov gon ice everone in soviet france
the spaceship goes up, then back to da urth and to another dimension
i hear aliens are actually fallen angels and are from other dimensions (like h-ll)
i think thats where this tech is from
so they're back in tomorrow land and no ones there
high laurie comes up and sez geoege clooney was exiled from tomorrowland
but geoige sez casy can fix their world
oh and hugh lorry is nixx
he's gonna send george clooneyy to h e double disneyland
he shows em some holograms and they go to a hologram room with a trackball (remember those from the 90s computers?!) that she uses to look at da nasa thing
esp after oh bba mma ended it cuz he doubled the deficit
so hugh sez he uses tachyons which are faster than light to see through time
now we can see who really did j fk
shows marilin monroe as the crow on the grassy knoll
so she looks around time and earth and sees its all f'd up like aporias future in yugioh 5dS
hugh lorrie sez za warudo is ending in 058 days
is this the rapture??
look 1000 years into the future and see the new kingdom
also hgh is savfe in tomorrowland and if he lets the normies in they gon f up tomorrow land like they did their world
later george wakes up after being ko'd by hugh lorrie and probably b0ned while out
casy is bummed and we get a sad moment where she starts giving upp
another tacked on bummer monment where evertything is lost until they realize how to fix it
she figgerz out that as tom cruise i mean georige clookey was pirating the broadcast of the tomorrowland, she can send the message and signal to everyone
george tells hugh that the tachyon loop is making the future end and they gotta kill it to save the world
so its like sonic 06 where they gotta put out that candle and save the world
hugh dont want to give up his future machine and sez if he shows the people their coming end, they'd love it and go violence jack
he keeps going on a tirade about how no one cares and has lost faith in people
hugh shakes goeoges hand and george touches his watch and fighrs hugh
athena fights big a55 invid like robots and casy uses a nuke to the future machine
athena controls a robot and fights the other robot with it
after savrificing a robot to save casy, athena shuts the gate to a desert island with george and hugh fighting
they reopen the door and throw the nuke out and it blows as they get back in
casy sees a possible future ogh hugh killing georgy but she jumps in and takes the hit
oh its actually athena
we get a scene where she bites it and she reveals her thoughts about kid gerge finding out shes a robot
she sez its her fault george gave up and  now she made up for it by finding cassey
she sez to use her self detonate thing to nuke the machine
welcome to the machine!
the worse level on ecco the dolphin!!
7 mins of autoscrolling h-ll
geroge throws her from him on his jetpack into the machine and it blows
after he crashes in water from lightening bolt hitting him,
they then get enginiers in to get things running again and then its a year later
turns out this whole movie was him tekling his story to some kids and they want dreamers to make da future better
wait, i think those kids are robots
they had cyybertechnology in the 50s and rockets in the 1800s?
what is this? nadia the secret of blue water??
then a montage of people all over za warudo finding pins and going to the wheat field
a corner of wheat
the end
that wasnt so bad
it was like 3 hours but didnt drag
its sorta like a darker captain planet ep (besides when neil patrick harris got aids or the soviet girls cosin suicided from drugs)
it seems sorta like rambo 04 where he gave up on life but got his hope back from helping someone innocent
but that one was better
its not bad and its got some good ideas
plus the brittish guy being eviil like most disney movies
but he made good points about not letting the devients in or they'd f up his world
the effects and acting were ok and the music wasn't bad
plus theres no tacked on love story
unless you count george clooney and athena (who looks like a 10year old)
plus they were like the same age chronologically as shes a robot
its not a bad film but its not the kinda thing thats gonna stick with you like transformers the movie or ferris bueler's day off
its above average
for timorrowland 2 i want one of the kids the robots finds to fugure out that the dimension tomorrowland is in is near h-ll and the tech they were using since the 1800s and upgraded with is from daemons. also it slowly turns people evil by rotting their souls, as seen when hugh laurie was gonna let everyone bit it and george gave up. this kid prays and summons holy armor and takes on the robots and people who live there as they are turning into daemons. also its a 16 bit game like rocket knight adventures ans is on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as as the kid and free peoplre from the daemons by slicing it outta em with a holy blade and a jet booster.

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