Saturday, September 21, 2019

Julie And Julia Review

Note; i spell hisctorically badc accurate
jules and julia
this is my review on jewels and juilia from 2009 (when robotech happened)
its got amy adams from mean girls and some other chicks
its based on the life of a cook from tv or somehing
i never saw this b4 or know much about the historical figure but i saw an autotuned thing of her for her 100th birthday
oh its julie and julia
i aint going back and fixing da title
so it starts in 1949 soviet france and stara that malcontent meryl streep
she eats at a restorant and is driven around soviet france til she reachs the place she gon live
then its queens in soviet new york in 2002and amy addams movies into an apartment
she can't handle it but her husband gives her confidence boost with facts
nowadays feminists would call that mansplaining
so back in france meryl is happy and in new york amy aint as she works on dealing with people who bit it after oh bba mma did n|ne ||
oh its insurance
these pushy new yorkers are really awful to her even though sge's trying to help
what a horrible city
i say we get the few good people out and let it go mad max
clintin should've nuked it instead of just taking out the towers
and that guy in the earlier guys
laterb she chats with her successful female homies and they are self absorbed business women
1 homie suggests a thing about her gneration turning 30 but its all cr-p
at home she hears her bimbo friend is doing a blog abbout her thoughts and shes jealous
her husband suggests blogging about food and she decides to do julia childes cooke bbooke
as a kid her mom made julia childes beef bor gen yawn and its her one good memory
after watching julia on tv she sez her ADD makes her cr-ppy at stuff so she cecides on a 1 year plan to do her cook book
she starts the julie/julia project blog and has 365 days and over 500 recipies
in france meyrl is happy with all those fremnchies as she turns em positive and likes em
i know what you mean. i like spiders
but spiders are actually cool lol
she talks to a shaved head guy about what to do as a work
after trying various things and trying to learn real french (instead of cr-ppy a55 canadian french) as there's no french cook book in english, she tries reading a french cook book
in bed with her husband (i assume. otherwise they are living in sin) he helps her with french and they turn out the lights
in the real version they were b0ning
in this century amy sez butter makews cr-p taste better and she likes eating it
shes gonna get faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
so after blowing cash of weird food and getting fat from eating cr-ppy french food stuffed with butter, she chats with mom and mom thinks shes wasting her time on da blog
amy addamd getting fat but the actress not actually expanding or showing it? its mean girls!!
i never saw this b4 but i think theres gonna be a part where she gives up on the blog near the end bit after a forced sad moment, gets back and does stuff
also her mom is her only reader
remember; in 79, gundam didnt catch on in its 1st run
so marrril tries going to a cooking school but the b--chy frenchie sez she wont fit in or do well
also its for men
so after s-cking at choppiong onions, she gets better with training and can do it and more in 3 weeks
do it in a gravity room so you get stronger from higher gravity
so she wins mens respect by doing well (as it should be) and she takes noon breaks to b0ne her man
unless they actually married
and marril writes a typewriter kletter to her imaginary friend or w/e
maybe its the other marril?
like the one that takes over and kills people
wait, thats yugioh!
so at a valentines dasy dinner, her butt buddy who was in ww2 a few years ago, says good things of her
he fought in china to save it from japan
only for them to go commie and turn on us right after
maybe we should've let hirohito have em?
in her book julia sez boiling water is as hot as a b0ner
now the movie is pg13
they always put a swear or 2 to get it up as they think people dont like g or pg films
cuz the pokemon needed ash to call team rocket "c-ck suckers"
so in 2002 jules is malcontent over cooking a living lobster
thats against the law in some candy a55 places
once i microwaved a fruit fly
it got in and i didnt wanna deal with it
after trying, amy's butt buddy beals with da lobsters
so at a dinner party, amy sez maril cooked cr-ppy whe3n she got married but improved
like yuma s-cking at card games in yugioh zexal
also her blog is gaining popularity
so later amy boils a calf foot and makes goo outta itbut it f's out
her butt buddy sez if sher lies on her blog, no one will know but she sez julia (who's dead) will know
she gets kinda b--chy and whines about having to boen a duck soon
that sounds wrong
look up boning on youtube
\boning a chicken
boning a deeer
boning a pig
so later a christian science group wants to meet her
back in 49, maril had a rough time dealing with the cr-ppy a55 metric system and turning it into real numbers
spoiler; the metric system in non-canon
also maril invited her iimaginarty friend over next month
so her friend dorothy comes and they have cr-ppy a55 french food (spoiler; italiano food is better)(spiiler; italianoes are better than frenchies)
later at a wedding she has a smoke and dances
later her friend dorothy is pregnant
was tha dorothy's wedding?
i wasnt really paying attention.
so later she meets with people over making a cooke bookebut they dont want it
they want julia merril to do it
meanwwhile, in 2002, amy addams is gonna have a party to make beef bor gin yawn
making it makes amy think she can sense jukias presence
is this a horror movie?
amy and her butt buddy watch mad tv or something of a guy playing julia and laff
later, the amy overslept and her beef is charcoal
meanwhile, in 49, marils husband has tro ditch france as his assignment is almost up
also; American Hero Senator McCarthy, don't trust em for being in china
is he a manchurian candidate?
like frank sinatra?
so then Meryl bmeets the joy of cooking writer
she got gypped by the people who made the book after her husbsand did seppuku
later meryl gets people who wanna do her book with a 250$ advance and 500$ more after its done
thats a lot of cash in the 1840s
meanwjile, in 2002, amy makrs new beef and desert and the christian science guy cant make it
so evenruallly her butt buddy is sick of her blog taking over their life and they say they are married
he goes mental and starts b0ning the food wjile foaming at the mouth and screaming like a mongoloid
he just goes for a walk
back in the 40s meril goes to germany and makes photoes of her and husband in the bath with suds covering their nipss
her husband goes back to washington to do some cr-p
later maril tells one meember of her cooking trio she's cut from da team
wait, ahe's getting a cut of the cash even though she's been slacking
1 member wants her credit cut back
so her husband is grillred over his views and alleged communism and alleged gayness and he gets through it but is burned by it
so meanwhile, in 2002, amy is bummed out and at work her boss tells her he knows she didnt have the flu as he read her blog
also; he dont wanna be in it
who are you? j fk?
oppressing the free to keep your name outta the press?
you gonna b0ne her dead too?
oh and her husband ditched her and she compares herself to mwril
she gets a phone call some someomne telling herr not to quit and she gets basck to doing the blog
on the outsiide at might she meets her husband and he returns to her
iout at night in new york?
this is how svu eps start!!
so back in 49 the book people say shes got 700 pages and she wants it to be a 7 volume series
the book guys want something housewives can use easy and quick and dump her a55
maron sez to try again and reorganize and we get a montage of amy and julia doing cr-lp
so later amy has a food writer come by and she has 15 days and 24 recipies left
later amy gets morre fame and her mom changes engine gears and supports her
also all these editors keep calling her and offer media deals like books, plays and movies
make it a video game
cooking mama did pretty well
later julia child read her blog and someone tells amy
she's still alive?!
oh and she hates amy
back in 49 merils husbind gives her hope and says f em like hes robin in the gritty teen titans
gottas say f--k once per movie to get dat pg13 rating
imagine that in the tom hanks mr rogers movie?
tom; i'm mr f--king rogers!!
so merin gets an acceptance letter of her french cook book publishing
annd 1500 $ advance
but french food is a55!
eat japanese food! its actually good!
plus in japan they live to like 114
so back in 2002 any gets bummed over meril not liking her blog cuz she sez f too much
her husband sez only the julia in her head matters
amy sez julia taught her to cook and shes guy 1 day/recipe to do
amy dors a duck following a vid ofd meril and makes it in 001 years
later they go to the smithsonian and check the julia exhibit
then we see julia making dinner for her husband to 40s music and she gets a copy of her book
then we get text saying when julia and her man bit it and amy is now a writer in soviet new york
the end
that was pretty good
its nearly 3 hours but dont drag
its not high action but tels a good stoey
its well made and even though i poked fun at it, i didn't hate it
i was just joking around
for jule and julia 2 i want the 2000s one (i cant recall which) to get into japanese cooking and start making cool foods from there. but the 40s one''s ghost comes back and is mad at her for getting famous off her. so she goes to japan and gets some japanese ghost fighting armor and faces julia in a series of fights. eventually, julia's ghost summons a ghost army and turns new york into a h-llhole with daemons and ghosts eating and b0ning people. also its a 16 bit action game like alisia dragoon on sega genesis, snes, gba, tf16 and atari jaguar and you play as julie in samurai antui-ghost armor and fight with a naginata and go through the h-llscape of new york t free it. oh and the julia in her head is actually another ghost who is helping her and giving her power attacks when she fills up a power bar.

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