Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Mighty Joe Young Review

note; im doing like 3 other things while reviewing this so there might be tyypoes
mighty joe young
this is my review on mighty goe joung
jogn ford
hes cool
too bad hes a commie
so its set in afruica
this girl gets a pet ape by trading her fathers stuff
little brat
he otta whip her
she names it joe
her dad comes home and seeing it in bed
he nearly capps it
maybe he shouldve
he finds out she traded his flashlight
he don't want her to have it and should've cooked it and fed it to her
but instead he lets her keep it and sez its gonna be a huge monster in the future
a dozen yearls later this j johan jameson looking guy called max o hara is a newspaper guy and wants a good story
I thuink hes an animal act guy
hes going to Africa and a cowboy comes too
in Africa is gonna do a nightclub show and makes up storys about cannibals and such
this brittish guy heasrs an animal noise and gets his gun
its a big a55 Claymation gorilla
and it knocks over a lion cage
it rips it open and the lion gets out but thwe ape goes after it
on one doc about a chimp they thought could use sign language, it kept trying to b0ne cats
the cowboy stops the brit from using a gun and gets his lasso
an american stops a brit from using a gun?
that's like a spider eating a bird
like in the jugnle
the cowboys rope at the ape but he fights em off
realy good editing btw
1 guy beats on the ape with a stick
if this were made nowadays the humans would be seen ss the bad guys attacking an "innocent" animal
the ape is gonna throw a guy 30 feet but the girl from b4 comes in all growed up and solves the thing
the cowboy and friends go to the girls farm in the jungle and she goes mental over her ape nearly getting shot after b0ning and nearly killing a lot
on one show about chimps was this couple who raised a chimp instead of a human child
one day(after years of knowing em) it went mental and tore apart the "father"
he pushed his wife under a table but the ape mutilated him and he's crippled for life
the girl lets em in but not their guns
the j Jonah jameson guy offers her a contract to be in a show with joe the ape]
the ape goes mental but she calms  it down
later they make it to California and are in a show in a jungle themed nightclub
man this movie has a good speed
it feels like under 20 mins but really nearly 40 in
the Roxbury?????????
also no one knows who the mysterious "joe young" is
reminds me of gabbo from thwe simpsons
also a lot of this movie is like king kong
sorta like go nagai making shuten doji similar to Devilman but with different feels and Protoculture
joe comes in by lifting up the piano the girl is playing
also I notice joe has no parts
I think he was neutered
don't want him getting everyone pregnant with ape babies
then 10 musclemen in tarzan outits come in and break things with their muscle
no poles though
we poles are good bodybuilders
1 is rssian and called Rasputin
they get in a tug of war with joe but he pulls em in the mud
good effects btw
1 guy gwets in a fistfight with the ape
then gets chucked into the audience
after the show they lock the ape in a cage
don't want it eating people
after a timeskip/montage, the ape wants to break out and wont eat
hunger strike eh
time for some rectal feedng!
she want out and the cowboy sez the contract aint good cuz shes underage
is he b0ning her too?
after another timeskip theres another show
theres a lottery game for free champiagenn with the ape
sounds like Mario party
1 guy nails it with a liquer bottle
and a drunk guy (maybe the same guy) hassles a cigarette girl
the drunks then take some booze and give it to the ape
once I saw this internet vid where these African soldiers gave a chimp a gun and it opened fire
after 2 bottles the ape is hammered
but andre the giant could handle a whole jug of wine and a buncha beers w/o getting tipsy
and he's far less meat than this 10-15 foot ape
the ape breaks out and goes on a rampage
if it can break out when drunk that means the cage couldn't hold it in the 1st place
it tears apart the nightclub and swings from a thing on the celing
im, surprised this room can support his tonnage
also he breaks open the lion area and kills a few
but some get out
the drunk guy gets mutlated by a lion bujt the ape kills it
he busts up the place and it caves in
the cops come in but the girl trys to help the ape
the cowboy and friends slow the cops as the girl gets joe back to is cage
then the cops cap the lions
then theres a timeskip that sez the apes gonna get put to sleep
they keep worrying about the cops shooting joe
but in Hawaii this elephant went berserk and took nearly 100 bullets to bring down
that gave me an idea
imagine if an elephant went berzerk and they blew it up with a rocket launcher! it probably wouldnt even blow it all up! maybe just bust a huge hole in it! maybe they could jamm a grenade up its A55 and it blows it apart! maybe it crawling around A55LE55! and trying to A55 B0NE the guy who blew it up with its trunk!
the j johan jameson guy fakes a heart thing and keeps the guard and cops away long enough for the girl and cowboy to get the ape away
they carry the ape in a moving van
after a chase they come to a burning building
using red tint to the film(which is b/w) it gives it a firey look
the ape  save the people from the building as it comes apart
it also shi\elds a kid with its body as the building falling on em
one guy sez no ones gonna shoot the ape now
so doing a good deed absolves him of his crimes
later the j Jonah Jamison is watching a film reel of the cowboy and woman and ape being happy in africa
the end
for mighty joe young 2 I'd like it if there was a hunter thing going after the ape as a buncha huners were sent after the ape by a rich guy. turns out it was the drunk guy  was crippled by the attack he had with the lions let loose by the ape and wants revenge. after the ape has killed and eaten all the hunters, the drunk guy arrives with a mechanically enhanced body that equips with a car and becomes a powerful exosuit strong enough to take on the ape in 1 final deathmatch. also its a 16 bit sega genesis and snes game where u play as either the ape fighting the hunters or the drunk fighting commies to get the gov to give him funding to fund his mech armor project.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Alien Review

note; not as many typoes as usual
this is muy rview on aliehn
they usually show the sequel aliens on tv non stop so seeing the original is a treat
but that was a great sequel
its widescreen
so its set in space with a 7 man crew carrying 20 000 000 tons of mineral ore in a space thing
I love the spaceship design and how it looks real
better than cg
the automated systems awaken the crew from hyperslee4p and they are in white undies
kinda like in that 80s anime LILY C.A.T.
after they've dressed and whizzed offscreen, they're eatingbreakfast
1 guy is smoking
on a spaceship with an enclosed air supply??
you cant even do that on a sumberine
and they can surface
they go to their posts and find they aint near earth
theyre only 1/2 way home
the comp woke em up cuz it got a message from something unknown
and if they don't check it out they don't get paid
not much happens in this film but it stays entertaining
kinda like the 1st x men film
its got good pacing and build up
I also notice the space shots of the starship are like in Robotech
they land a craft on the planetoid where the signa is coming from but something gets screwed up
when they explore they find a strange construct like a weird star ship or temple
they go into it(hope they have weapons) and find this fossilized giant demony thing
its had something tear out of its torso from inside
meanwhile the computer has deciphered part of the transmission and its a warning
the team goes in deeper into the place and finds these eggs
one opens and a monster comes out
really good effects btw
better than the cg used in alien vs predator
the monster latches onto the smoker
but he's in a space suit
despite being against protocol, they wanna bring hm in
a guy opens the door and they take off his spacesuit
the space monster has burned through his helmet and is wrapped around his face
they cant pull it off so they put him in a scanner or microwave or w/e
its got a tentacle down his throat and its keeping him alive
they cut at it but acid spills out and burns through floors in the ship
they try to catch it(not sure what they were gonna do abouit it) but it stops
later the tentacle monster just dies and falls off
they try to leave the planet and do so
later the smoker is awake and hardly remembers wjhat jhappenerd
as they have a meal the smoker talks about when he gets back to earth
but then he starts gaging and a phaIIic monster breaks outta his torso
fun thing
i was trying to get a friend  to do voices for my urotsukidoji abridged
he thought urotsukidoji was a P0RN0
i said
most P0RN0ES dont have skinnings and beheadings and bone and organ removal and corpses puking out their organs and the guts turning into daemons
he sed
most horror movies dont have giant D-CKS killing people and dripping with goo
i replied
what about alien? the creatures are very crotchular and phallik
so we both had good points
the monster runs away and the ship launches the smokers body into space
the crew prepares to look for it to launch it into space after capture
I like the interiors of the space ship
its sorta like a direct to video 80s sci fi thing
they find something but its just a cat
why is there a cat on this mission?!
its just like in LILY C.A.T.
1 guy goes after it but finds the c monsters shed skin(eww)
good tension in here with him walking in an empty place and no dialogue
then the phaIIic monster has somehow grown huge (eww)and kills him and escapes into a cooling duct
the humans wanna blast it into space through the air ducts
they seal the ducts and send guys in em while watching on a screen
but it gets em
the other chick (not sigorni weever) wants to escape and the black guy wants to fight it
sigorni weever checks the computer for help but it only wats to bring the alien back above all others
in Robocop
his prime directives were
protect the innocent
uphold the law
serve the public trust
directive 4???
here humans don't matter
then this guy beats up sigorni qweever and trys to stick anewspaper in her mouth
the other humans try to stop him but he grabs the black guys nipple
they fight back and his head comes off
he was a robot full of milk
the company wanted the alien as a weapon
they plug the head in and ask how to kill it
he seZ THEY cant
its the perfect organism
u mean
they plan to nuke the ship and escape in the shuttle
also the black guy flamethrowers the robot
sigorni weever goes after the cat
why's she calling its name?
cats never respond
it jumps out and scares her like in pet semetary
the alien kills the black guy with its extending inner mouth
then the other chick
she goes to check it out(but theyre obviously dead) and runs away
she sets the ship to self detonate and find the guy who was 1st taken into the vents earlier
I thought he bit it
he asks her to kill him and she roasts him with a flame thrower
that wont kill him
ill  him suffer worse
she runs through the ship and goes back to the controls for nuking the ship
she does something but the ships still gonna self detonate
why does the ship have a suicide option?
incase they're captured?
by who?
she gets the cat and runs to the shuttle
1 minute to go!
1 minute to go!
1 minute to go!
1 minute to go!
she flys off and the ship nukes
shouldn't she get microwaved by the explosion?
or the after effects?
she puts the cat in the hypersleep machine and takles off her clothes so shes in her undies
shouldn't the whole crew just be in their undies?

why wear uniforms?
its just those 7
then the alien is in therewith her
it moves slowly with a strobe light
she gets dressed in a space suit and gets a gun
she gets out while singing andseatbelts herself in
she blasts it with steam or coolant then opens the airlock
it clings to the door but she shoots it with a grappling hook gun so it flys out
the door closes and the alien gets burned up in the ships thrusters
she gives a report of her experiences into a recorder and goes to hypersleep
the end
I liked this
way better than 2001
things made more sense here
and they actually had weapons on a long voyage
and stuff actually happens
this is like if 2001 was done right
plus we actually fight the space monsters
for alien 2 I'd like a new team of explorers to be sent to the planet with the fossilized demon and try to get stuff for the company to use as weapons. then we jump ahead a few decades and the aliens are ll weaponized and the company uses them to go to war with the race the fossilized demon was of as they knew they were gonna attack the earth and needed to fight fire with fire. the weaponized aliens are bioarmor that is a living suit of alien but a human can wear and control and it has equipable things and blades.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Gold Diggers Of 1933 Review

note; m,ty ytpning bad but im iroving
gold diggers of 1933
this is my reviewon gold diggers of 1933
I assume this is based on a true story
I like early 30s films
right after the silent era and just when sound was dawning
like playing an early sega genesis game
so it starts with a rundown of who plays what
I miss how films did dat
now they expect you to know all the stars right from the start
but ina fw yeas one remembers em
the film starts with a cheerful jolly positive song about having a lot of cash
the girls are in bikini like costumes made of coins
its like o baa maa claimed his rule would be like
so much for that
then the repo men come by and take all the sets and costumes
then we get a montage and the 3 heroes (who are chix) get a note that the landlord needs the rent
they all live together in the same apartment but never get 18+
for breakfast one girl swipes their neighbors milk bottle
she tells a story about getting 500$ from as guys pocket
I assume she was b0ning him
then this lady comes by saying someones got work
but they don't have anything good to wear
so they take the lady's clothes
they don't show the undressing
they would if remade today
after 2 chix leave, 1 girl listens to this pianist next door singing a love song
this other girl advises against her being with him
then the blonde calls saying the guy is pitting on a show and its not cast
he comes over and tells his high plans for his show
then the pianist starts playing and the showe guy wants him
the pianist comes over and plays a song
its very 30s-40s
like snow white or mr toad
its a bit down thoygh
but beautful
then he plays another song and the show guy talks about how the show is about the depression
he likes the pianists music and agrees to use it if his gf is in the sh\owe
he wants the pianist to sing but the pianist declimes
and he sez he's all set but he needs cash
he's been set for 6 months but needs 50 000 $
but he can do it for 15 000 $
the pianist sez he can fund it but everyone thinks he's joking
then he goes back and plays piano
the show guy loves it as its perfect for his show
the next day this guy called giggolo eddie comes by
also these quadruplites come by (the kentucky hillbillies)
they want to be paid
then the pianit comes in and has the cash
later the girls suspect the pianist got the cash illegally
this seems like the room
on opening night the main actor has back issues so the pianist takes his place
they perform and the 1st song is "pettin in the park"
I assume its about b0ning
then it has couples and an ape couple swaying to the song
then theres a roller skating thing
then a snowe thing
how'd they get snow in a broadway musical?
in both of em is ether a kid or a midget
wtf we'ere like 40 mins in the movie
was I in a time warp?
then theres a rain scene where the kid/midget lifts a screen with chix behind it
but they aint nude
after the show the pianist is recognized and hes part of a rich fam
then his fam comes over and whines about how they hate him being in theatre
he sez he likes his music and they wont stop him
they don't want him marrying his gf  and might cut off his income
they use the SLURR g-ld d-gger
1 guy of the fam recalls b0ning one in his youth
they go over to the girls place and tell this blonde to break off with the pianist
she sez no
the milk stealer trys to seduce the fam member who b0ned a gold digger in his youth
the girls decide to mess wityh the rich guys since they offended the girls
the giggolo (who looks like jack black)(jack back as a giggolo?! brings a hat and delivers a hat and sez it costs 75$
they get the rich guys to pay for it and they play up the thing of needing more things
thern this girly voiced guy (who's probably a hermaphrodite) comes buy with another 75 $ hat
the rich guys pay for it and they all go drinking
btw they think the blonde is the pianists gf
then the girl who sang the 1st song in this movie comes by
later the guy who b0ned a gokd diggur jhas a hang over andf the other guy(ther piasnists big bro) wants to seduce the blonde
the girls and pianist wanna keep the game going but 1 gurl wants to come clean
the girl seducing the guy who b0ned a gold digger(whos a lawyer) gets a dog and sez its like him
if this were made today the dog would whiz on him
later the girls and the guys go dancing
the pianisrt fakes being jealous for the blonde
the opening song blonde trys to seduce the lawyer but the milk swiper tryes to keep her off
the big bro talks to the real gf and she embellishes her story to sound better
the blonde makes a scene and they leave
at home the big bro sez he loves the blonde and is drunk
they make out
he blacks out on a couch and the milk swiper comes by
she has him put in the blondes bed but the blonde dislikes the scheme
they wanna make it look like he b0ned her out of marriage
if this were made today it wouldn't be so shocking
but in the 30s its like showing him being b0ned
he wakes up he next day and don't remember last night
the milk swiper plays up his acts and has him sign a check for 10 000 $ for the night
he leaves but the blonde feels bad for him and is gay for him
also the lawyer sez he told the milk swiper he loved her
then the big bro and lawyer see the newspaper thing about the pianist marrying his real gf
the big bro comes by and the blonde sez she never really lied as she didn't say she was the gf or w.e
she has the check on the wall and never cashed it
they fall in love and make out
he sez he wants to end his pianist brio's marriage but she defends em
then theres a musical at a theatre and this guy is singing about somehitng
oh, itsd about love
also a blonde(not sure if its the gf blonde or opening song blonde) is in a skimpy dress (that would work in an anime)  and singing
theres also a cool thing of guys in full black suits with white glowing violibns in a dark room
wait, its chicks
and some really good 30s dance numbers
if this were made today we'd have too much cgi and swearing
also it would be widescreen and have a tacked on sad moment
after that its revealed t6he lawyer is married to the milk swiper
and the bro tells the pianist hes gonna end his bro's marriage
he tries to have the bro arrested but the cop is really a cr-ppy actor
then theres a musical thing with smoking
nowadays they'ed try to censor it
these commies keep trying to censor smoking thinking seeing it in movies makes people wanna do it
meanwhile they have crime, drugs and b0ning in films with teens and its seen as "representing reality"
swearing too
the musicial thing is sorta like a 50s thing
sorta blues too
then theres a ww1 thing
too bad we didn't swith zee kaizer
might've prevented ww2, communism and the depression
this ww1 song is very meaningful
esp for me, a descendent of ww1 survivors
then it ends
that was great
they otta show this on the history channel
better than 10 000 bc or the (cr-ppy remake of) the texas chainsaw massacre
for gol;d diggwers of 1933 2 I'd like it to be set in the year of 2033 and america has gone commie and everyones poor again. the descendants of  the original charactors are trying to find husbands while avoiding commies who try to have them arrested for owning money(as only the gov has that right now) and they join the resistance to free america by spreading 80s things to remind people of how cool things were in da 80z.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

A Clockwork Orange Review

note; my typuings cr-ppy but im getting beter
a clockwork orasnge
this is mt review on a clockwork orange
spoiler; its a P0RN0
its set in the not too distant future of England
but we call it; da 80z
why is the 80s always the future?
even in yugioh gx (set in 2004-2008) when they see possible futures for themselves, the bad guys have an 80 look(spiked mohawks, leather, maker up, piercings, ect)
the filme starttes with these purvurts in some room full of naked manniquins drinking milk
I like the crteepy slang they use in here
right horror show day for a bit of the ultraviolence eh wot me droogs?
they ease you into it and its easy to pick up
unlike oliver with thast frooty cockney talk
might as well be in Japanese
I'd be able to pick up some words
so alex(malcome MacDowell) and his himies beat up a drunk
then we see these other punks b0ning a naked chick
shes got a big butt
like in a rap videothen alex and droogz come by and fight
all to classical music
this is like something go nagai would make
its just violence and naked chix
it came out around the same time as go nagai did hisd violent p0rm0; violence jack
that had more hermaphrodites though
go nagai has a thing for em
every 3rd book he writes has at least 1
later alex and droogz go to someones home and beat him up/b0ne his wife/trash his place while singing the song from, singin in da rain
kinda fitting as many classic song are msused today
good morning from singin in da rain was used in an add for b0ner pills
man, this film was rigjht about the future
also theyre wearing masks wirth male organ like noses
afterwards they return to the milk place
wtf, he pours milk from a naked manniquins nipples
then a manlylady sings the Beethoven song they used in milk adds in the 90s
this movie was right about the future
one of his droogs makes noice while the manly lady sings and alex nails him in the b0ner with a stick
wtf he still lives with his rents
and at the place he lives its all run down and has wallpaintings of naked mebn
how fitting, his rents don't know their son is a maniac
just like nowadays
theres a lot of nude art in his place
then he puts on a different Beethoven song and starts j-rkin off
in the AM his purple aired mom sez its time for school and he sez hes not feeling well
he pulled a ferris bueler
his rents think he's out at night doing odd jobs
I never faked sick to avoid school
nor did I ever skip school
I was a good 90s kid
later alex is walking around in his undies and this creepy brittish guy who tells alex next time he's going to prison
I think hes trying to seduce ahe knows alex is up to no good and heard the guys b0ning the naked chick from b4 were hospitalized and mentioned him
the creepy brit grabs alex's crotch
I think he was mo les ting him in the real version
later he goes into a 70s-90s music shop and seduces 2 chix eating long popsices
I think they were b0ning in the real version
the very next scene is a sped up benny hill like thing of em at alex's placer and b0ning
this is a weird a55 p0rn0
ahnd I thought Urotsukidoji was strange
later alex walks downstairs and sees his homies
thay act sarcastic and he calls em out on it and asserts his dominance
they wanna stael more worthy things to get more cash
then while walking he beats up his homies
one he nails in the b0ner with a stick
another he slices in the hand with a hidden knife
all in slow motion
I assume in the real version he b0ned em
his homies say theres a crazy cat lad with much cash alone
alex trys tricking her into opening up but she don't buy it
theres a lot of crotch artwork everywhere
she call the cops and sez the guy at her door used words similar to the guy he beat up b4
alex comes in and shes really b--chy to him
he plays with her crotch art and she attacks him
he splatters her head with the crotch art and the cop sirens show up
as he gets out, 1 droogh busts his face with a milk bottle
the cops have him and he's got a nose cut
when he burps at a cop the cop grabs alex's face would so alex grabs the cops crotch
later the creepy brit comes in and sez the cat lady bit it
the cops say they can hold alerx down if the creepy brit wants to "giv im a bash on da chopz"
I assume that means b0ning him
people think american cops r bad
anything these britys do would get the guy off on law and order
alex gets 14 years in prison
in prison the brits are strict jerks
they take his items and clothes
they get him nude and look up his a55
also we see some of malcom mcdowells hot dog
he's in a lot of p0rn0s
and has many nude scenes
later this priest gives a sermon to help turn people away from sin
but the brits just laught at him and make gas noises
my dad dis prison ministry in his youth
and my black friend was in prison for a while as a guard
and I watch prison movies
my fave?
he has fantasys of bring the romans beating Jesus and being in biblical was
I mean yeah it was our sins that caused him to suffer
but that infop is meant to drive us from sin
not desire it
he also relates to the sinners in the old testament
that's like wanting to be freekin starscream in transformers
later alex talks to the priest of wanting to be used in a medical experiment so he can get out sooner
the priest advises against it but alex fakes wanting to be good
the priest sez that goodness is choses and being forced to be good isn't true goodness nor being human
after all, humans were given free will
im surprised by all the bible refs in this violent p0rn0
although in the bible is a lot of killing and sin
but they were the bad guys
a lot of the good guys screwed up too
but they were good and making mistakes
not openly bad and having fun mo les ting and killing peiople
1 dr sez medical treatment is the only way to deal with croox cuz they don't care for punishment
alex compliments him only for the guard to yell at him
so the dr chooses alex for his experiments
the warden sez he wants the enemies of civilization punished in return and thinks reform is a waste
he gives alex forms to sign and when he trues to read em the guard sez; DONT READ EM! SIGN EM!
doesn't that go against the point of having a form?
then again, people agree to user things on apple and miscrosoft and google w/o reading
this movie was right about the future
alex is strapped into a thing that wont let him move or look away and he's shown violence and p0rn0
btw he calls his head a "Gulliver"
I thought that meant b0ner
he's given a shot that makes him feel sick while shown secks and violence to force his body to turn against its natural urges
he's then shown ww2 footage for some reason while Beethoven plays
he begs for them not to ruin his fave song but the dr don't care
he claims he's cured and sees violence as bad and he's learned his lesson
but the dr don't care
later theres a showing of the dr's work and alex is unable to do violence or look at a purple haired naked chick as he becomes violently ill
also this brit abuses alex and makes him lick his shoes
talk about foot fetish!
the dr sees his destroying a man as a success
kinda like a lobotomy
didn't the dr who invented that get a nobel prize?
the priest sez that since he has no choice hes not really being good nor a real man
then alex is released and he comes home
he finds his rents rented out his room to a guy and his pet snake bit it and his stuff was taken by the cops
the new guy bashes him but alex pushes him and gets ill
his rents cant kick the new guy out as he's payed his next months rent and they get along
he goes out on his own and meets the drunk hobo he beat up b4
he recognizes alex and takes him back to his hobo gang
they beat him up and maybe b0ne him but a cop saves him since he cant fight back
he cant harm others but he's defenceless
the cop is his droog from b4 and another cop (also a droog) try to kill him
he cant fight back against the bad guys so he just takes it
I think this movie is a ref to taking away guns
they let him go so they can torture/b0ne him later and he later comes by the home of the guy he beat up b4
the guys now a cripple living with this bodybuilder who carry's him around
the bodybuilder looks like Austin powers
he tells the guy the cops beat him up but the guy remembers him as the guy the anti crime thing was used on
the guy feels sympathy for alex and wants to help him
he also stands for individual rights and is against the brits system
but when alex is taking a bath and sings "singin in da rain" the guy recognizes him from b4 and freaks out from viet nam fash backs
later the guy has some friends over and they claim they wanna help him
the papers aid hes unable to listen to certain music
it makes him wanna suicide
alex blacks out from the wine given him(probably drugged) and when he wakes up he's in a sealed room with Beethoven blasting
how'd they know how much wine to give him so he'd be out after they got their info?
he might've blackled out b4 revealing the secret
I assume the guy has done this b4 or is a poison specialist
aex jumps out the window and wakes up in casts
then a nurse comesx out and gets dressed after b0ning the dr
so the dr who made the treatment is charged with inhuman stuff
his rents come by but he don't wanna c em
they say its partly their fault that things turned out like this
maybe beat him more he'd not be a maniac
later he reveals to a nurse he had a dream of dr's playing with his brain
he's given a test to finish a conversation in the picture
all his responces are just like a teen or 20something would say nowadays
he's recovered from the treatment
lie in Robocop 2
then the creepy brit returns (I think) wait its a gov guy
and he sez the guy from b4 in the wheelchair was locked up for his anti brit papers
also he's looking out for alex's interests and is gonna give him a good job and salary
he's only doing this for votes
also her plays beerthovern music for him and alex thinks about b0ning
the end
the credits are bright colors with text and singin in the rain is played
for a clockwork orange 2 I'd like for alex to have become a celeb for his experience and causes an uprising in England when people recall his violent past. also his popularity lets him get iix and lad an ultraviolence party that plans to legalize anything and the people love it. within a few years, England has become a mad max wasteland and the cops cant do anything as they don't have guns. the regent orders mass executions of anyone caught even saying anything against her (no trial even, just iced in the streets). soon its just a turf war between the regent brits and the droogs. the next series of films is in the 90s England and each deals with a new protagonist in the battle for the brits.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Rebel Without A Cause Review

Note; might have spelling mistakes
rebel without a cause
this is my review on rebel w/o a cause
I hear its one of tommy wiseau's fave movies
I loved the room
I even met tommy wiseau
he gave me a positive vibe
theres something special abouyt that man
hes got positive ki or something
its super wiodescvreen!
half the screen is black bars
but its got dennis hopper
from the super Mario bros movie and water world
it starts with james dean being arrested
he seems to be on drugs
he's drunk
not much better
in degrassi next gen this guy did meth and his excuse was
meth? I thought it was blow!
not much better
its like
are you eatuing children?
children? I thought they were midgets!
that's still cannibalism!
then this girl is called a "dirty tramp" by her dad
was she out b0ning guys or something?
she was dressed like a h00ker
she don't likwe her dad and is disgruntled and emo
this movie is like degrassi
not the good 80s degrassi
the emo sissy new one where everyone is f'd up
I actually relate better with the 80s degrassi than the next gen 00's one
although I was born in 87 and went to high school when next gen aired
 picked up by her mom and goes mental cuz she wanted her dad
james dean's rents pick him up and hes drunk
mythbusters proved that a slap in the face sobers someone up best
most of their myths involve alcohol, explosions or firearms
aka steven segal movies
so this kid named jon (like the Garfield guy) is arrested for shooting puppies
I h8 dogs
we otta send em all to French Canada and nu ke it
so its revealed james deens rents just moved here and jim's malcontent
his rents taljk calmly and he freaks out
just like in the room
tommy wiseau did it better
james dean seems like one of those tum,bler fruits who has 1st world problems and goes mental over small things
he needs a good beating
my great gramma beat the black offa my grampa
he lived to 94.5
everyone got beats in the 20s
now rents cant even yell at their brats and they get cocky
james dean beats up a desk and sez his rents move all the time to protect him
someone called him "chicken" and he got triggered
he wishes he had 1 dad he didnt feel confused and felt like he could belong and not be ashamed
I think he's got queer issues
but they cant say it cuz its the 50s
if this were made today he'd probably be queer
maybe emo and cutter
and have drug issues
and be going out at night b0ning people
and other degrassi things
the next day his rents give him lunch and send him to school
on the way there he talks to a girl about life
its the girl with daddy issues
then some cool high school guys come by in a convertible and pick up the girl
I bet they've all b0ned her
at school he steps on the school insignia on the floor and gets called out on it
why's it on the floor if ur not supposed to step on it>?
its like putting blood in a burger but ur not meant to eat it
later james den goes to a planetarium
they look at constellations and has jaden smith thoughts
he also causes disruptions
the kid who shot dogs is there and tries to help james dfeen
after a freaky apocalypse scenario, the show ends and the dog killer is hiding
also these cool high school guys wanna teach james dean a lesson for being a butt mo
I hate how most shows now are about the loser kids and the popular ones are the bad guys(esp blondes)
i want a movie about a sexy popular blonde fighting off the poor average girls and getting the hot blonde guy and they become king and queen of the military and nuke the poor places and the world is safe for the rich to walk the streets w/o poors killing them like batmans rents
one of the cool guys shanks james dean's car tire with a switch blade
james dean plays it cool but they make chicken noises
I with the room(cheep cheep cheep)
jim is almost triggered but he throws away his tire iron and the cool guy challenges him to a knife fight
if he took aikido he'd know how to handle himself
aikido is what a samurai does w/o a sword
james dean trys not to fight bit snaps when called chicken
hes really unbalanced if just hearing a word makes him wanna murder someone
a cop comes by and james dean gets the upperhand and hoolthe cool guy's neck
they then decide to meet at the bluffs for a death match
the cop trys to break it up and 1 teen makes Nazi refs
teens always compare anything to the Nazis
everyone they disagree with or don't like is hitler
once I was at mcdonalds with my yugioh homie and he said
I don't wanna sound old but I hate all these teenagers!
theres a reason we don't let em vote or smoke or drink or b0ne
but they do it anyway
later the girl has a disagreement with her dad
then james dean talks to his dad about doing something dangerous for honor
his dad tries to give good advice but notices james deans wounded from the knife fight
his dad trys to use rational thought and reason but james dean wont have it
james dean sneaks out while his dad's talking
little p o s
his dad needs to beat some sense into him
no more mr candy a55
we need hard a55 dad!
james deen needs to go to mili\tary school and learn discipline!
the service will set him straight
later james dean, the dog killer and the girl meet at the bluffs with the cool guys to have a death match
I think a 1 on 1 bare knuckle brawl would settle things
works in street fighter, mortal kombat, king of fighters, fatal fury, world heroes, voltage fighter gowcaizer, battle arena toshinden, clayfighter, samurai shodown and primal rage
instead they have a car race
too bad
they race to the edge of a clif and 1st guy who jumps out of a car going off a cliff is chicken
they race but the cool guy gets his jacket caught in the car and instead of hitting the brakes, goes over and his car asplodes
I bet he's still alive but mutilated and suffering w/o his skin(it burned off) or eyes
you live by the sword, you die by the sword
same thing with druggies
later james dean returns home and the dog killer invites him over to spend the night
I think in the real version he invited him to b0ne
james dean turns his offer down for now
at home james dean drinks milk
I assume its hard drugs in the real version
he seems a bit loopy too
his mom comforts him but james dean only wants to talk to his dad
he comes out about being involved in the bluff killing
he claims it was a matter of honor cuz they called him chicken
this isn't samurai times and you aint yagyu jyuubei!
he rambles on about his drama and his dad tries to help him
james dean sez his dads just as involved in killing that kid as him somehow
man james deen is a whiny b--ch
his rents advise him not to ruin his life by coming out to the cops
james dean is impatient and disgruntled
he then starts trying to kil the dad
this guys a maniac
this is what happens when u don't beat ur kids
jams dean runs off and goes to the police station but passes the cool guys
the police have better things to do than listen to whiny a55 james dean
so he calls the girl
but her dad gets the phone and hangs up
some unknown guy calls in the middle of the night asking for your 16 year old daughter?
you know ur hangin up his a55!
later james dean talks to her outside
then on the4 radio the dj sez; this is dedicated to u from buzz(the dead guy_)
so he turns it off
they get slightly romantic
if this were made today they'd be b0ning
they don't wanna go home so they talk about a deserted mansion
then the cool guys catch the dog killer and start interrogating him
I bet they were b0ning him to get info in the real version
after being b0ned hes kinda mopey and gets a gun and goes off to "warn" jim
later james deans rents hear a noise outside and when he opens the door finds a chicken hanging upsidedown
is this a black ritual?
the cool guys ask the dad where the james dean is
then the dog killer comes by and leaves
he meets james dean at the mansion
they play make believe about a happy future in the mansion
they talk about their regrets and issues and pasts
james dean and the girl make out
I assume theyre b0ning in the uncut version
meanwhile the cool guys arrive an rumble with the dog killer
they chase him in the dark house and a cop arrives noticing a break in at it
dog killer gets his gun and is freakin out
he caps 1 guy and fires at james dean
they fight and he runs out sayin; yo not ma father!
the cop trys to help but hes goin mental!
james dean and the girl talk and realizes he wanted them to replace his family
sounds like some kinda serial killer thing
the battler moves to the planetarium and james deans rents arrive
james dean talks to the dog killer and trys to talk him out of his rampage
they come out but the dog killers unbalanced
james dean trys to talk to the cops but they turn on lights to see better and the dog killer freaks out
he runs at the cops with a gun so they cap him
james dean says "I've got da bullets!"
how were the cops supposed to know dat??
james dean then turns to his dad for help and his dad trys to comfort his deranged son
the end
everyone sez this is a great film
I wasn't impressed
its just whiny emo teens with 1st world problems going mental
and THEY are seen as the heroes!
imagine a show about mentally ill people where their mental illness is shown as "fact" abnd anyone with common sense is depicted as "intolerant" and "out of touch" with those degenerates
its kinda happening now
for rebel without a cause 2 I'd like james dean to have been commited to a nut house for being too mental after nearly b0ning his dad and several other guys dead. he is on powerful drugs to keep him from going mental. eventually the drugs start wearing off and he starts having freakouts and they have to chain him up to keep him from b0ning people dead. but james dean fights the chains and builds up enough styrength and muscle to become big and buff like hulk Hogan and eventually breaks out of the chains and is super strong and starts b0ning people dead. oh and the dog killer who got shot is now a cripple and has seen the error of his ways and when he confronts james dean with the truth, james dean cant take it and starts b0ning him.

Friday, February 5, 2016

White Heat Review

note; cr-ppy typing
white heat
this is my review on white heat(the 40s film)(with james cagney)
its fullscreen
no black barz
directed by Raoul walsh
he was john wilkes booth in birth of a nation
he's learned from the master
d w Griffith!
the film starts with cagney and friends driving
a train is pulled over by passengers with firearms
maybe a good guy with a gun could've capped em
saved some lives
the passengers stop the train in a place by a bridge and cap the unarmed guy trying to stop em
cagney and his men take over the train and his man who's manning the controls of the train keeps dropping hints
cagneys real name(cody) and the man's old job on the railroad
cody caps the train drivers and his men loot the train
suddenly, a steam burst burns one of cody's men
later, cody and friends are hiding in the mountains and 1 of cody's men is disgruntled
despite being a killer, cody loves his mom
theres some good in him
cody's woman (played by Virginia mayo) complains about the cold but cody don't want smoke from the fire signaling the heat
cody's disgruntled man (big ed(that sounds like a p0rn0 name)) is planning on starscreaming his way over cody
also cody keeps getting headaches and is fully disabled by em
his mom gives him some booze and sez; top of da wolrd son!
then 1 of his men comes in saying theres a storm thats gonna take out the roads tonight
he decides to bail and leave the steam burned guy
he tells the burn victim he's sending back a doc
as they leave he tells one other guy to finish him like in mortal kombat
the guy fires into the air(letting cold air in from the roof) and gives him matches
he sez he's gonna come back later
later the cops autopsy the steamed guy and use detective work from what they got.
they find dust on his clothes matches dust on the train area heist
also the prints on the matchbook match the guy who gave it to him
a known member of cody's gang
I love this stuff
its like law and order
later cody finds his mom went out to get strawberrys for him and the cops are on him
his woman mocks him so he kicks her chair shes standing on and she falls on the couch
women get off easy in these 40s films
if a man said that he'd get slugged
meanwhile, the cops have a chain of cars following the mom over several blocks with each car covering a certain area
she tries to evade em
btw, the cops talk on the radio and car phones
did they even have car phones in the 40s?
driving while on the phone
cant do that anymore
a car backing out of a driveway cuts off the cops and she get away
at night they find her car and 1 cop goes in alone while the other goes to call the others
the cop gets cody but he caps him and drives off
so much action
this films awesome
and they don't need swearing or heads exploding or b0ning to make it cool
after a car chase, the gang hides in a drive in theatre
cody plans to turn himself in and take the heat for another guy's crimes that happened somewhere else at the same time
he' only do 2 years
beats the gas chamber for the train thing
cody planned for this b4 doing the train
later his mom and woman tell the story that cody's somewhere else
and cody surrenders
meanwhile, the cops plan to plant a guy I prison undercover to find out about cody
its revealed that cody's dad was in the nut house
and his headaches started as fake but became real
then cody is sentenced
wtf, his real name is arthur
cody is his middle name
I was playing ghouls and ghosts a week ago on my sega
beat it too
took under 3 hours
I expected it to be all day
in prison this guy with a hearing aid and reads lips to find big ed is taking over
the undercover notice\s a guy who can finger him is giving shots and he's next in line
so he starts a fist fight
he goes to da hole
cody don't trust the under cover guy and reads his mail
he comes out of solitary and becomes friends with the cody boys
also big ed has brought in 57 000 $
cody's mo wants to keep some set aside for cody but big ed and cody's woman wanna have cody iced
big ed has a guy in the joint
also big ed is b0ning cody's woman
in the prison metal zone the hitman tries to take out cody but the undercover guy saves him
this reminds me of mega turrican with the crane dropping a thing on him
that was a great sega game
then cody's mom sees him in prison
she reveals big ed ran off with cody's woman and shes gonna take him out
he begs her not to but she leaves
cody lets the hitman kow he's on to him bu then has a headache
the undercover helps him
at night cody wants to bust out and bring the under cover guy
the undercover guy reveals hers got a plan too
later the undercover guy plans with his fake wife to set up rthe escape plan to catch cody
later its revealed the get away car will have a tracking bug
the next day theyre having lunch and cody founds big ed got his mom
cody goes mental and fights
later cody's in a straight jacket and playing mental
he whispers info to the guy feeding him
the shrink sez cody is demented and can have periods of normal behaivior
so he's getting sent to the nuthouse
later he's getting ready to be commited but his man brings in a gun and cody gets freed
he takes the dr hostage and takes over the jail
he gets the hitman and brings the heairing aids guy and undercover guy
they escape using the shrink's car
at a house cody gets changed and caps the hitman
the big ed and the woman are worried about cody and she sez he;s not human
he seems bulletproof
also the woman capped the mom
in the back
later the woman trys to flee but cody catches her
he's gonna cut her open and b0ne her guts!
she claims shes running from big ed and she is loyal to cody
she also claims it was big ed who capped cody's mom
cody catches big ed but he runs so cody caps him
cody's men come in and he kicks big ed's bod down the stairs
I assume he b0ned the body in the real version
later cody finds his men bought a gas truck
so he plans to use it in a thing to get rich
his woman is nervous so he tells her to read comic books
he plans to use the gas truck to get in this place to jack it by having his men hide in the truck
the next day this fishing guy comes by asking for a phone
cody brings him in and everyone thinks he's gonna ice him
turns out to be a guy working with cody to jack this chemical plant
wait, isnt that used in batman(89)
then the undercover guy comes in and asks what the guy is fishing for
he says bass but theyre in trout country
the undercover guy pulls a gun but cody sez its ok
that night the under cover guy trys to leave but is caught
he claims he was goinna see his wife
they talk about their backstorys
cody/his woman go to bed to b0ne and the undercover guy turns her radio into a communication device to send signals to reveal the trucks location
they leave but stop at a gas station and the undercover guy writes a message on the mirror in soap
as they leave he tells the gas guy the mirror's dirty
later the guy who could finger the underciover guy come to drive the truck and everyone gets into the truck thing
then a guy at the gas station tells the gas guy about the mirror
imagine if the guy who found it didn't speak English and couldn't understand the message and wiped it off
good thing in the 40s everyone spoke English in america
the cops use the mirror message to track the truck
eventually they reach the chemical plant(not the sonic level)
they come in and take it over and torch open the safe
the guy wjho can finger the undercover guy recognizes him and the undr cover guy pulls a gun on em
they disarm him but the cops arrive
and cody's woman turns on him to the cops
but they lock her up
shes gonna get b0ned in prison
theres a gunfight at the chemical plant(like in batman) and the undercover guy gets away
the under cover guy tells the cops to pick up the fishing guy
also now its night
maybe not
its just b/w
theres a gunfight and a chase and cody climbs a chemical holding thing
now I think its night
cody starts goin nuts and his last man surrenders
so cody caps him
the cops try to make him surrender but he's going out like Uyghur in Hokuto no ken
fighting til the end
even if theres a 99% chance he's getting ripped apart
cody takes as few bullets but don't go down
then the thing he;'s on catches fire
he sez; top of da world!
then it goes boom
the end
what a great film
if remade today it would totally s-ck
For White Heat 2 I'd like it if he survived the explosion and it gave him super powers. He would use it to take down those who oppose him and hunt down and microwave/explode anyone who ever did anything he didn't like. Soon he goes supernova from his powers going out of control and he mutates into a weird crotch like monster like in Urotsukidoji or La Blue Girl.

I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang Review

note; the typojn g is bad
I am a fugitive from a chain gang
this is my revierw for I am a fugitive from a chain gang
its based on a trtue story
it starts with a guy returning from ww1
he's given work at a factory and is seen as a hero
but he wants more from life and wants to be an engeneer
he takes the work but is unsatisfied and keeps returning late from work
his names jim and paul muni
hes changed from being in ww1 and seeing people blown apart
so he goes off to do construction work in new england
wasn't 1 England bad enough?
what next? new mexico??
his work lets him go and he travels to the confederate states from from job to job
he winds up becoming kind of a hobo and sells his war medals
in 1 town this sneaky guy offers to get him a hamburger if he joins him
he does but it turns out to be a stick up job and jim takes the cash from the register despite being innocent
he only does so cuz the guy has a gun and is loud
I bet in the real version it was jims idea and he b0ned the guy dead
the sneaky guy gets capped n the thing and jim is found with pockets full of cash and no witnesses to back up his story
he's sentenced to work on a chain gang
I notice that pretty much all prison movies have the hero being innocent
except riki-oh cuz that ones is better
they keep em chained up at night and have em wear leg irons
good idea
keeps them from gettingout and killing/b0ning the innocent
the guards treat the criminals with no trust and little respect
not sure why they would
these people are monsters
my black friend was in prison for a while
as a guard
he hated it
they kept trying to kill and b0ne eachother
it was really stressful
jim's chain gang is then breaking rocks with hammers
one guy notices this big buff black guy who "never misses"
jim gets slugged out for not asking permission to wipe off his sweat
they need rules and discipline beat into em so if they return to society they don't wind up back in jail
maybe if they had more discipline the7 wouldn't be in prion in the 1st place
1 guy seems unwell and at night the guards take out anyone who didn't give a full days work and whip em
jim insults the guards and they whip him
now a days these animals just sit in cushy cells and b0ne eachother
they need discipline
most of em are killrs or mo les ters or theives
but their victims aren't shown
the next day a guy finishes his sentence
also the guy tjhey whipped who was unwell goes out in a box
after a few months, they're working on the railroad and he gets the black guy to hit his shackles with a hammer
at night he woeks on removing em and plans to escape monday
a fellow inmate gives him 7$
on that day he fakes taking a big dump and takes off his chains in the bushes
he runs and they chase him with dogs aNd guns
if he gets out he might kill and b0ne the innocent so they gotta be tough
he steals some clothes on a clothesline and hides underwater using a plant as a straw to breathe from
but his hearts going high from the chase
he's probably outta breath
the guards and dogs pass and he goes to town
he gets an new suit and a shave but a cop comes in talking about the jailbreak
he escapes and stops by this place where the guy who got out earlier is
the guy gives him a place and shows him a blonde who is told of jims jailbreak
she sez; ur among friends. and it goes to the next scene
I assume they b0ned
later the police chief and his men come by and are looking for someone
jim gets on a train and the cops swarm a hobo
the train guy sez they didn't get the escaped convict and he goes to chicago
he gets a job in engeneering using a reverse of his name (allen james instead of jim allen)
another blonde gives him a room for a cheap price as shes gay for him
after a timeskip, they apparently have been b0ning as she is mental about him not being into her and he wants to leave
she blackmails him with sending him back to the chaingang unless he marries her
she found out about it by reading his mail
btw, that's not what marriage is about
but he uses his fake name of allen james on his marriage thing
that means its not a real marriage
later its revealed shes just using him for cash and isn't with him much
oh and shes been out b0ning other guys
jim  starts hanging out with a nice blonde and they start getting along
months later he wants to divorce his bad wife and she just wants to milk him for more
he sez shes bluffing about sending him back but she goes out for the cops
they next day he's being commended about making a bridge but the cops come in
after some newspapers tell that the city of chicago sides with him, and the papers argue about states rights, jim tells his story (totally unbiased toward)
this confederate guy sez if jim does 90s days in jail and pays for the expenses used to search for him, he'd get a full pardon
he takes the deal and he has to work for 60 days
he is surprised he's not given preferential treatment
he's reunited with his prison buddies
I just realized that him going back cuz he's promised something better is like with b4 where he left a good job for his own way
a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush
so the chain gang he's with is for people too hard core for normal chain gangs
also the friend he reuinited with tried to bust a guards head with a sledge hammer
what a maniac!
that guards got a family
after he's served the time, the board is given character witnesses saying he's a good guy
then the people's side says that the chain gang isn't brutal nor evil
its like that commie liar mrogan spurlock taking a job for a day that people have been doing for years and compares his results to the experienced and saying "itz too hard!!"
so jim's pardon is delayed and he goes on a tirade about how the guards are the ones needing to be in chains and their crimes are worse than anyones in there
as my black friends often say
my a55!!
these people are malcontents and maniacs!
they HAVE to be tough on em!
like with dog the bounty hunter being tough on those druggies and gangmembers
jim is given the chance for freedom after a year
so 9 months later(with the 90 days) he gives brith to a healthy baby boy
I mean the decision is put on hold indefinitely
later jim and his friend who tried to bust a guys head with a hammer trick a guard and carjack a truck
the guards open fire on em and launch the fleet (of cars)
theres a pretty cool chase scene and his prison buddy gets capped from hanging out of the truck as they fire on him
the prison buddy uses dynamite to blow a hill and they get away
jim uses the gears in the truck to snap his leg chains and busts a bridge with dynamite as the car chasing him drives on it
then theres a timeskip and its a year later
he meets his nice blonde gf in the dark of a parking lot and is paranoid
he has no one and cant keep a job
he blames the system for it and walks backward into the darkness
his gf asks how will he live ad he whisper yells; I STEAL!!
the end
that's a great ending
must've been better in the 30s
but now all films get happy endings and are trying to make romance a big part of it
don't mo lest this move holly weird!
for I am a fugitive from a chain gang 2 I'd like fir him to have gathered a buncha followers who are like him, escaped convicts and they plan a massive assault on society to get revenge on it for turning them into maniacs. they bust open the jails like bonny and clyde wanted to do and have a wave of b0ning and killing sweep across the land. eventually, Austria decides to help america stop it and they just shred everyone with gunfire.

Lawrence of Arabia Review

note; the typing s-cked
Lawrence of arabia
this is my review on lWRENCE pf artabia
I like ww1 films
although this is from the bad guys view(the brits)
my great grampa's served their countries in ww1
at the time, Slovenia and my moms part of po land were part of Austria
so we lost
my great grampa's were in the same Slovenian unit(both were from the same village)
they faced the Italians, turks and Russians(who later kinda were evil)
i assume that lawrence is some kind of mel gibson figure who rallys the oppressed people to free themselves from brittish rule from englands deviant regent and her minions, the degenerates.
btw, this film is over the top widescreen
around 1/2 the screen is black baRS
have fun with dat
even on a cr-ppy flatscreen/widescreen tv its gonna have b bars
it starts with an overture that sounds kinda star trek
the next part is a bit like gone with the wind and the theif of bagdad
I miss this classic cinema music
now its all hip hop and cr-p
the music goes on for like 5 mins
claude rains is in this
then this guy rides a motorcycle w/o a helmet for a long time and crashes
his goggles were hanging from a tree
I bet he splattered like a bag of chef boy ar dee
later people are remembering him but few knew him, they only knew his exploits
like me in high school
1 guy badmouths Lawrence and a brit is triggered
but the brit only shook his hand and never really knew him,
this is like how celebs have malcontent fans who go mental when those freaks are bashed for their wicked ways
then we get a flash back where lawrdendce is in some north Africa country and serving the deviant reign of England
he fools around with stuff and p-sses people off with his clowning
so his superiors send him to Arabia
the superiors complain about how they wanna beat the germans and not the turks
I thought the turks sided with the brits
that's why they got away with the Armenian genocide
like how stalin isn't as hated as the axis leaders despite being far worse
spoiler, the germans kick brit a55 and the brits only "win" ww1 cuz america saved their candy a55
although they should've sided with zee kaizer
might've prevented comminusm, naziism and ww2
Lawrence gets 3 months to do his... w/e hes sent to there to do
he then goes across the desert by camel in this barren wasteland
its like mad max
at night he talks to his guide and tells em his home is full of lardoes
I think hes got a fat fetish
going after tubby 1800s chix
maybe he's a feeder too
likes fattening up the girls
later they stop by a well belonging to "dirty people"
a horse rider comes and shoots the guide as he gets his gun
the rider sez its his well Lawrence is welcome to drink from it
he also thinks of the guy he killed as sub human
wait, the rider is on a camel
and omar sharif
larwence hates the rider but the rider wants to help him get to his destination
laweerbce also openly bashes the rider who just picked off a guy while riding a moving thing from like 200feet away
later lawerce is going through a rocky and singing loudly and eccoing
man the brittish military must s-ck to have him do that
he could be going into a trap and alerting the guys
but he fins a fellow brit
the fellow brit sez the turks are bwning the people hes with by using superior weapons
then a plane comes by and shreds people with gunfire
I assume this is the 1st boss
why aren't they using magic?
a well aimed spell could take it out
wait that's dungeons and dragons
the plane leaves and alec guiness from staR WARS comes in as a native and sez his people aren't used to modern(1800s) tech
I should note that japan was pretty advanced by this time period and had beat Russia like a decade ago
while leaving with the people, some teens wanna be his servents but he turns em down
at a meeting omar sharif comes by and is revealed to be working for alec ginnes
alec sez the canal the brits protect is only of use to the brits and they should send the boats protecting it to help fight the turks
the fellow brit says only good things about England and claims they are only great for being disciplined
alec giuines sez he fears the brits wanna take over Arabia but lawrene sides with him
he sez his country was great 1000 years ago and he hates the desert and wants green places
also his dad started thewar with the turx
at nighr someone walks in the desert and the eens from b4 followed him
I think its lawrebce
the next day he returns saying he's gonna cross this uncrossable desert with 50 men to attack the undefended side of this sea thing
omar sharif thinks its impossible and outs his plan to alec guines
how did Lawrence know the guns aimed at sea cant be turned around?
maybe he has black powers of foresight?
alec gives lawence 50 men and they go off to cross the desert
its kinda like in planet of the apes with te "forbidden zone"
oh and mar sharif is with him
and the teens have snuck on with em
Lawrence accepts therm as minions for 1 shilling a week each
then they get to the desert
on the way there 1 guy gets lost and Lawrence wants to go back
omar sharif (I think) trys to stop him cuz the guy is not gonna make it and its a waste
this isn't g i joe where no one bites it
this is Robotech where main characters bit it every ep!
later Lawrence returns with the guy
although the desert thing reminds me of the scene from erich von stroheims greed
what a great ending that movie had
so meaningful
so even omar sharif comes to respect Lawrence and he's welcomed back
that was a good movie
maybe in ther next one it'll show the attack on the base
that night he talks to omar sjasrif and he burns lawrences clothes
the next day Lawrence is given the native4 peoples clothes
I notice they call Lawrence; L oranz!
like L-Ron from Robotech II; the sentinels?
then some guy comes in and he's from this tribe of guys who are like wasteland riders who work for the highest bidder
he has diplomatic immunity or something as if he gets capped, then theres a blood feud over it
so he acts like a jacka55
he invites the Lawrence men for dinner
im nioticing not a lot of action happens in this film
must be cuz its brittish
at dinner the tribe guy sez he is ok with the turks on his land and wont help the brits
I was making pasta but I think I overheard enough to think they talked the tribe guy into helping em
they get to the base and are gonna attack the next day
but one guy capped another guy and to stop a flood feud, Lawrence has to execute the guy who killed the guy
turns out the killer was the guy he saved from the desert
so he empty's his gun into the guy
I assume in the real version he b0ned him dead, as per custom
the next day they ride in and take the city
I assume they killed the captured and those who surrendered
maybe b0ned anyone they wanted
that night, the tribe guy is disgruntled over no gold being in the city
Lawrence writes him a check for 5 000 gold ginnyz and sez he;'s commin back in 10 days
Lawrence leaves with his teens and promices em their 1st sleep in real beds with fine sheets
hope they don't b0ne
after going through a dust thing he loses his compass but just goes west
later 1 teen gets eaten by the desert
it just drags him under
I assume some monster is sucking him under and b0ning him dead while eating him
Lawrence tries but doesn't save him
later they get to an empty town and later to a city with people
oh, its the city he was in b4
and the brits don't want his teen friend treated like an equal
at the bar he orders lemonaid(like how in sailor moon she went to a bar and ordered cream soda)
Lawrence tells em they took the city and captured the turks(and are probably b0ning em)
later hes debriefed and hes revealed to have taken the city w/o orders to
he gets a promotion and is sent back
he reveals he "killed 2 people, I mean araabs" and enjoyed it
so foreigners aint people to the brits?
that explains a lot
but him realizing his peoples evil shows he's resisting his programming
maybe even turning human
he sez he's gonna attacvk the turkx and in 13 weeks have things going nuts
he also checks to make sure the brits wont take over arabia
his superior sez they wont
he sez he's gonna support Lawrence but later sez he cant give em arterliy since its gonna make em independent(and brits don't like independence)
then theres an intermission
we're only half way through?!
this could've been 2 movies by now!
its not like the 10 commandments where it takes place over 120 years
and not much happens!
later this america guy comes by and talks with alec guinies
hes a reporter and looking for a good story to get america involved in the war
he wants Lawrence for that
alec guinies reveals his side kills their own wounded since they aren't soldies but rebels and aren't protected by any code(so they get b0ned dead)
later larewnce and his rebels open fire on a train for a while and raid it
most of the victims on it don't seem to be millitary
a wounded soldier caps larewnce in the arm but he just stands there as te shots miss
then the tribe guy slices the soldier in half with his blade
the american wishes he got a picture of it(sick freak!!)
the tribal guy busts the americans camera and sez Lawrence is sing up his 9 lives
so he can survive 9 times?
sounds like black magik
larwencve complains about his men looting their victims
I assume they also b0ne the dead
latwer lawrteve tells the american he wants to give the people their feedom
so maybe he will become the mel Gibson figure after all
later in another train attack the men get a lot of horses
I assume theyre gonna b0ne em
later they prepare for another train thijng and his survving teen is too wounded to escape
so Lawrence blows his head off with a gunshot
later Lawrence reveals hes got complex of being some super warrior who can do anything
he goes into a city by himself and seems rather fruity
hes caught and omar sharidf is sent home
hes taken to this mexicany general guy(maybe a cartel leader) and is personally selected cuZ he's got blue eyews
wtf hes 27
the cartel guy laments being the only guy like him among people who don't get him
Lawrence is stripped nude and the cartel guy thinks he's a deserter
he also feels larewnces milky white skin
Lawrence slugs him and is tied up/whipped
this is getting x rated
they were probably b0ning him in the real version
and the cartel guy watches
later the omar sharif is waiting outside and they throw Lawrence outside
omar nurses him back to health but hes traumatized from being b0ned by all those guys
he thinks about quitting the revolt since hes white he thnks hes not worthy
omar sharif trys to talk him out of it
this is like when an impressionable teen hears bad things about white people, straight people and men in the past and turns on his people
like all those malcontents on tumbler
he returns to his base he was b4 and alec guines comes by and talks about keeping his people weak for the brits and French to rule easier
Lawrence requests to be relocated
also the French and brits agreed to share the turks land after the war
I knew they were the bad guys
his superiors want him to help em take over a place but he wants to quit
offscreen he tells a dr about a him, being gang b0ned
his superior tells Lawrence hes epic and Lawrence sez hes giving the people the city they are taking over
at the battle laweecve gets a buncha killers and malcontents to join in the attack
but the tribe guy hates it
the tribal guy orders "no prisoners" and runs off alone toward the battle
only to get capped
Lawrence sez "no prisioners" and attacks with his men
after the battle lawrebce is soaked in blood and shocked
its like in Urotsukidoji V: the final chapter, where amano jyaku went mental and slaughtered everyone
the american takes lawrences pik and sees him as evil now
ironic how hsees these people as cruel and rotten while he wants to get america into a war and kill even more people
and for the brittz too!
might as well fight for Caligula!
later Lawrence tries to mediate the tribes at a council
they don't get machines nor electricity
they wanna put out a fire but don't wanna carry water
right now those Austrians are lookin not so bad
maybe Lawrence should side with em against the brits and frenchies
later the tribal guy is still alive and disputing something with a guy
I thought he bought it
later Lawrence disguises himself as a local and his siuperior slaps him out thinking he's one of em
later alec guiness is in a meeting with the superior and the dr
as Lawrence leaves this guy shakes his handbut they've never met b4
he grows up to be the guy bashing anyone who dislikes lawrence
alerc guiness agrees to have an illusion of power while the brits rule over it
like canada
larewnce is being driven in a car and is going home
on the way there he sees a motorcycle
the end
what a long film
other films tell twice the story in less than half the time
not bad
but its not as "epic" as ive been lead to believe
for Lawrence of Arabia 2 I'd like it to be him having faked his biting it on the motorcycle and have gone to help the guys fighting england in Italy to prevent more brittish domination after learning they cant be trusted in ww1. he also tries to turn Italian to free himself from his brittishness which he has grown to dislike (kinda like megatron's beast mode in beast machines) and has surgery and magic used by italy's best mages and clerics and paladins.

One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest Review

note; my spelling has a speech impediment
one flew over the cuckoos nest
this is my review on 1 floo over da kookoo's next
I recall an animaniacs ep based on this from da 90z where slappy went nuts and was sent to the asylum
also in the 90s simpsons there was a few refs to this
it starts with a nuthouse beginning its day and everyone getting ready to deal with the inmates
they give em meds so they don't have freak outs
then jack nicklleson comes in wearing cuffs
they remove his cuffs and he goes happy
seeing how the characters meet I keep thinking of the ending on how its gonna turn out
jack talks to this big violence jack native guy but is told hes one of those deaf mutes
so jack does some 1800s style indian stereotypes
he also meets billy (a stutterer) and distracts a mentally challenged guy with cards with naked chix or something on em
then jack has a meeting where its revealed hes there for "fighting and b0ning too much"
he uses a lot of slang im not familiar with
the dr thinks jacks faking being crazy
jack Nicholson don't need to fake being nuts
later they have group therapy where 1 guy has marriage issues from not trusting her cuz guys find her hot
that's a good thing
if I have a yugioh cardothers think is barfalicious then I know its good
none of the people wanna give their 2 cenrs on it
the wife distruster seems paranoid and cant back up his claims so he just jabbers on
1 gut tells him to get to the point so the wife guy goes on as tirade
this is like dealing with global warming nuts
the wife guy is paranoid of people thinking hes queer
the inmates start freakin out
is dat danny DeVito?
man, they got tim burtons joker and penguin
maybe its not
in batman returns, the penguin has a weird face, eyes, nose, teeth, ears, hands, body, legs, skin and hair
I bet he had a really weird crotch
some kinda weird la blue girl tentacle
maybe his nipples were weird too
like long shoelaces
and he ties em in a bow
so jack spends several minutes trying to tach the big tall violence jack guy how to play basketball
he even rides on a guy's shoulders
like with sonic 3 locking on to sonic and knuckles
later jack tries to play blackjack with the inmates but they are p-ssing him off
its like in good burger with the guy eating the cards
jack then goes to turn down the room music but they don't even talk to him right until he's out of the nurse room
they treat him like an animal
they wont turn down the music and force pills on him against his consent
they also threaten to cram the pills up his a55
he fakes taking em
once the busdriver got a note that said I was "not to be left unsupervised"
they thought I was mental and gave me trouble
they don't trust u if they think ur nuts
for the record it was a mistake and I never had any of those notes before nor after
in group therapy jack wants to watch da world series
spoiler; baseball s-cked forever!
its guys playing catch 3 miles away and running in circles(squares)
the nurse is a hard a55 but sez they can have a vote
but they are too mental to understand so he loses
that night jack bets the guys he can tear a stone thing out of the ground and chuck it out the window
he gives it a good shot but cant
he should've weakened the foundation 1st
work smarter, not harder
he said; but I tried, at least I did dat
but with more swearing
gotta atmit, he's got chutzpa
in therapy billy sez he wanted to marry a chick he loved
but the nurse pressured him with his suicide attempts
1 guy stands up for billy but she cuts him down
he sez he thinks they should see the baseball game
shes against changing the schedual but lets em vote
they get 9 votes but since theres 18 people on the floor (most are veggies) its not a majority
jack needs 1 vote but despite trying the inmates are too mental to understand
the nurse closes the meeting b4 jack can get the last vote but then the big violence jack guy raised his hand
the nurse uses a technicality to deny jacks win
what a b--ch
jack has make believe of watchin a ballgame and everyones happy
so the nurse orders it to stop
at a meeting with dr's he outs the nurse and they think he's not mental
he suggests j-rkin off or taking a dump on the floor
jack would do that too if needed
wasn't he in a P0RN0??
I know malcom McDowell was in a few
the next day jack uses the violence jack guy to climb over the fence and get the inmates on a bus and drive around town
jack picks up a h00ker named candy (which sounds more like a strpper name) and they go for a boat ride
I know shes supposed to be a h00ker but shes dressed not too bad
compared to nikki minaj or lady gaga she looks normal
THEY look like some weird P0RN0 thing
speaking of which
its ironc that the comedy vid "im sexy and I know it" was removed from youtuber for "seuxal content" cuz of the speedo scene
but lady gaga's born this way vid looks like some weird xxx
im not even joking
its got like uterus's in it or w/e
at the boat the boat guy asks what theyre doing and jack claims theyre dr's from the mental institute
they go fishing and billy starts falling in love with candy
later jack learns hes not getting out of the nuthouse in a set amount of time (like jail) since the nurse has all the power
jack then learns most guys in the place are there by their own choice
jack sez theyre no crazier than the average guy and should get out
the inmates start asking questions but she orders em down
theres a dispute over smokes  and DeVito asks a question she don't wanna answer
she uses a cr-ppy excuse and sez shes limiting their stuff for their own good(a jab at big guv)
things escalate and theres a commotion
the nurse has danny DeVito taken away for speaking back at her and the black guard starts using excessive force on jack
the big violence jack guy saves jack and they all get taken away
danny devito is pulled away crying and screaming
I assume hes gonna be b0ned as punishment
its then revealed the violence jack guy was faking it and can talk/hear
like that emo guy in catcher in the rye wantimg to fake the same thing
danny devitos body is taken away
they b0ned him dead
jack then gets his brains zapped with electiicuty
they wanna mindwipe him
then use him as a b0ning slave
later jack walks in like a veggie but laffs it off as he was faking it
at night jack plans to escape
he tries to get the violence jack guy to go with him but he tells jack his past about his dad and drinking issues and how its related to how whats happeing with jack
jack brings in candy and some other h00kers and the inmates party/b0ne/drink
jack plans to leave and sez bye to everyone
billys gonna miss him and is not ready to leave
billy reveals hes gay for candy
billy and candy b0ne
the guys wanna watch(degenerates!!) buyt jack keeps em away
the next day the staff comes in and find the place trashed (well, just a bit messy)and the guys with chix
billy is found with candy
we also see billys naked a55 as he comes out getting pants on
is dat brad douriff??
hes good
she asks if billys ashamed of b0ning a girl but he sez no
so she threatens to out him to his mom
she bullies him and he cant take it
this is like femminists trying to shame men for finding girls hot
she keeps trying to ruin his love
this is the kinda stuff sailor moon and wedding peach fight demons over
shes gonna have billy neutered or something and has him taken away
jack starts opening a window and slugs out the violent black guard who tried to stop him
the guard gets a leather fist thing on to fight jack but then billy slit his throat
the nurse tries to continue the routine but jack has had enough and strangles her
finish her!!
jack is knocked out b4 he can finish the monster and she survives
he should've thumbed in her eyes
later the nurse has a neck brack and jacks rumored to have escaped
the wife guy sez jacks upstairs
later the violence jack guy sees the guards bring jack in
theyre chained to the beds!?
what if theres a fire!?
theyre human beings!
the violence jack guy sees jacks been lototomized
j fk's dad had his legitimate daughter lobotomized for being slow
he tells jack "ur coming with me" and kills him with a pillow
I assume this is some ritual to remove the soul from the crippled body
also, jack fights to survive, despite being a veggie
the violence jack guy then tears the thng jack tried to rip off out of the floor and chucks it through the window
he then runs off on a new adventure
the end
ooh, scatman Crothers was in this
he was jazz in transformers
and Christopher lloyd
the only good thing I really knowe him for is back to the future
I hear he does modern family now
that show s-cked
everyones a loser
for one flew over the cuckoos nest 2 I'd like for the big violence jack guy to have crafter a golem body out of wood and put jacks soul; into it so he can get his revenge. also, billy is revealed to have survived but is kept in a padded room in a straight jacket by the nurse. candy comes back and shes had billys kid and they plan a scheme to get the nurse into some kind of revenge thing where they work behind the scenes and gradually remove her bones through accidents and traps, 1 at a time. soon shes taking bones to replace her missing ones from the inmates. also jack transforms into a powersuit that billy equips and he gets in a deathmatch with the nurse as the asylum crumbles around them from the damage

Much Ado About Nothing Review

note; my typing ios cr-oppuy
much ado about nothing
this is my revierw on much ado about nothing
its got shakespere
his movies make me make sodony jokes
its got Michael Keaton and Keanu reeves
batman aNd ted thedore logan
it starts with some anti man poem
then we get some guy painting with a buncha chix and dudes outside
more poems
turns out its a chick reading the poems
then the painrter gets a lette saying don pedro is coming
and he ants to marry a chick named clawdia
they then talk about him
I think clawdia is a dude
im having trouble following this
its all in that clockwork orange/Castlevania talk
then a buncha guys arrive on horseback and the opening credits roll
also everyone is getting their clothes changed
the horsemen also get nude
then everyones bathing
we see dudes butts
at least no ones b0ning
the hortsemen and the others meet and talk
theyre all friernds
kennith branna and this blonde chick bicker
that means theyre gonna fall in love
they keep trash talkin
but not as cool as in wwf
or dbz
denzel Washington sez they'll stay for a 1 month at least
the music and his tone seem to make Keanu look like the bad guy
his best role was in bill/ted
everything else is him being angry or evil
we miss cheerful Keanu
kennith branna talks with this fruity guy who claims to like chix about the guys love for this chick
maybe he's just mushy
everyones kinda prissy in here
esp kennith branna
I miss 80s dudes who were buff and tough and manly
like hulk Hogan or iron shiek
they talk with denzel for a whuile and kennith is really high strung
oh the fruity mushy guy is clawdia
maybe clawdio
he talks with denzel all mushy romance stuff
in Robotech the romance was less exaggerated
we're only 20 mins in
later Keanu gets a massage and talks with the guy massaging him
im having trouble following what hes talking about but it seems evil
I think he don't like some guy
I think hes a slave to someone
then this masked guy comes in and says someones getting married
I don't think Keanu's that bad in here
acting wise
also he plays the part well but his character isn't that evil
even no heart from care bears was more bad a55
that night theres some party and the blonde chick complains about something
she seems like one of those 90s chicks like on friends or sailor moon
the guys and dames are talking and laughing
I assuime theyre b0ning in the real version
they also wear creepy masks
the blonde complains to this guy in an awful mask
then they dance
clawdia sees a guy talking with a gurl
oh itys denzel
then Keanu and friends tell him denzel wants to marry her
clawdiio goes mental and talks to himself for a bit
kennith branna talks to him and is very prissy
then talks to himself
kennith talks to denzel and complains about what the blonde said
he bashes her breath and sez its infectous
I assume he means shes got mouth aids
he goes on for a while and leaves
this is like the room with its over acting and weird dialogue
then caldio and denzenl an ther painter and the girl talk and I think they fix things as calwdio gets back with his gf
then they kiss
I just thought it would be funny is they made out with their butts
I loled
settle down beavis!
this movie is just talking and music
is someone gonna have a sword fight?
most of what I saw of shakespere s-cked
no wonder people say he wouldn't have made it in hollywood
so the blonde don't want a husband
and denzel wants to have these 2 people cedrik and Beatrice to fall in love
I don't know who they are
Keanu hears this and dramatic music plays
the next day kennith branna talks to himself for a while
ai deed naht heet haa! ai deet nahhht! oh hai mark!
also kennith branna struggles with a folding chair
they had those in the 1600s?
ah aids!
this movie goes on for another hour!
as kennith is on the other side of a hedge, denzel and friends talk loudly about Beatrice loving cedrik(I know its not his real name but I forgot it)
wait, I think its kennith branna
wait, its bennidict
kennith branna yells when they bash him but hides and makes bird noises to cover it
this is like seinfeld
but not as good
maybe saved by the bell
kennith branna goes on a long wordy monologue and is happy
the blonde comes and kennith branna poses cross leged by a fountain in a kinda fruity way
they talk for a bit and she leaves
he over analyzes her words
then clawdios gf and a geezer chick talk loudly while the blonde is behind them
they take a few steps and celebrate having"got her"
this is like a bad episode of sailor moon
but not as bad as the remake sailor moon
the blonde is happy and so is kennith branna (who plays in a fountain)
that night Michael Keaston come in and has some dudes who dance with him
hes a bit out there
like in beetlejiuce
hes kinda grimey and greasy
hes such a good actor
better than that brit who played that crippled nerd who STOLE the Oscar from him
also the guys lol at kennith branna putting on a scarf fruitily
then Keanu comex in and talks to denzel and clawdio
they then walk in on some hairy guy b0ning a girl
calwdio thinksits his gf
Im not sure if it is or not
later the hairy guy chats with a guy about keanus plan and gets captured by keatons men
the next day Keaton talks to the painter about catchng "suspicious persons)
but the painter sends em off
then its a wedding of clawdio's gf and him
they go in front of the priest and everyone and hes malcontent
he throws her back at her dad and storms out complaining
he keeps b--ching about something in his 1600s castleviana talk
he outs her b0ning the guy last night
denzel backs him up
her dad then attacks her
this is like that Seinfeld ep where sue ellen miskie's fiancée b0ned elaine
the gf denies this
the priest offers some advice
then kennith branna and the blonde talk in the church
they admit being In love and make out with tounges
the blonde then wants the kennit branna to kill clawdio
he sez no and they go mental
she wants to kill the clawdio for ditching the dame he thought b0ned someone else
kennith branna sez he's gonna "challenge him"
I assume it means a b0ning contest
later the Michael Keaton has the captured guys chained up and he interrogates em
they reveal the hairy guy got paid to ruin this chick with lies
the guy recording the info sez someone died
the non hairy guy loudly calls Michal Keaton an "A55" and Keaton jokes about it
later the denzel talks with the painter saying his accusations are true
then the kennith branna comes in and grabs the clawdio by the face/holds him to the wall
he then challenges the clawdio to a duel
hope its a good yugioh game
but since everyones fruity theuy'd use performapals
also its revealed Keanu skipped town
then Michael Keaton come in with his captured guys and reveals the whole thing was a sham
the clawdio goes emo
they keep saying the girl is killed
did she seppuku?
or did her dad beat her dead?
I didn't see her biting it
I guess its too gory to show
the clawdio sez hes sorry and the dad forgives him
I thought this was a comedy
its kinda dark and disturbed
despite the lighting being cheerful
Michael Keaton sez that the guy calling him an A55 should be remembered in the punishment
hes obsessed with a55
maybe hes butt seksuul
like that rapper
that night it has these guys with torches walking to some temple
seems like some kind of black ritual
they post a note on a door that I cant really read
the clawdio sez a speech
the next day kennith branna and the blonde talk
later he asks for the priest to marry him to the blonde but is uneasy about it
then theres a wedding for clawdio
im not sure who he's marrying though
her face is covered and he cant find her identity until he promices to marry her
he does then its revealed its his gf
her being dead was a trick./metaphor
they marry
then the kennith and blond chat over if they love eachother and reveal their homies set em up
the clawdio and gf reveal poems the blonde and kennith branna wrote for eachother
they agree to marry begrudgingly
oh and Keanu got caught
theyre gonna b0ne him dead
for much ado about nothing 2 I'd like the son of clawdio and the daughter of kennith branna to be falling in love but theres a war going on where England is attacking whatever country the 1st movie took place in. also Keanu reeves is back as a cripple from being b0ned a lot in prison and fighting for England as its new strategist cuz of his manipulating skill..

For Whom The Bell Tolls Review

note; bat typng
for whom the bell tolls
this is my review on fir wh9om the bell tolles
ooh, gary cooper
he was mentioned in a rap in ed gein the musical
its bed on a book by hemming way
I never read any of his books but in pokemon was an ep based on that title with the tin tower or something
it starts with some pome or something and is in spaibn in 1937
theres a battle going on
my spain friend said things were bad in the 30s
sop these gun guys are chasing these other guys and pick one off
the other guty (garry cooper) caps him then leaves
no suyrvivors means no witnesses
then garry goes to a bar or someyhing and planes attack ourtside
its probably the brits
the lights go out and garry cooper talks to this guy
garry feels like capping his homie was murdr(it was)
but the guys chasing him might've b0ned him dead if caught
garry coopers friend sez his nexty mission is to take out a birdge
they discuss the details of the mission and garry needs a girl and a haircut
oh his friend is the general
then garry and a moustache guy scope out the birgde
the moustache guy notices a guard is from his village
he don't wanna kill him but if he has to he will
I don't know which side is the good guys
im Slovenian so I have no info on 30s spain
so garry and moustache meet a strong guy who calls garry a foreigner
hes adamant in being in charge of the mountain
hes kind of a hard a55
its mentioned garry and friends are on the side of rthe republic
they go to a base and meet a gypsy who makes traps and exaggerates his winnings
he wants to catch a tank
sounds like a bad pokernon
pokemon get worse each generation
the new pokenon s-ck
then the guys eat and a wo man comes out to help cook
she looks sorta lesbiany
what with her hair and style
shes called maria
she got her head shaved and was taken south but the guys here saved her
the guys mock her appearance
garry asks if shes the strong guys gf but shes single
garry sez he has no time 4 wo men
the backgrounds in here look like a star trek ep
its then revealed that the strong guy's real gf is a tough chick and hates gypsies but might be part gypsie
she seems kinda butch
she reads garry coopers palm and is disturbed but sez its nothing
later the guys are in a cave smoking and drinking
I bet in the real version they were doing drugs
garry cooper adds some "medicine" to his drink and the strong guy hates it after trying it
I think its illicit drugs
garry plans to take out the bridge but the strong guy complains as its gonna bring the wrath of the army on em
garry cooper asks the butch woman and she sez to bust da bridge for the republic
and everyone else agrees
the strong guy argues his case but his wo man bashes him
he gives in
dat night the maria warns the garry cooper about the strong guy
they start 2 fall in love
they go under the sleping bag as ther strong guy comes out w/ a gun
but he walks by
1 guy suggests garry kills the strong guy 1st but garry disagrees
garry spies on the strong guy drunkenly talking to his horse about it being his only friend
I assume they were in love in the real version
the next day planeas flies over
itas german and italian
the strong guy goes back to the horses as he worries of em
then they have a meeting to have a guy track of what soldiers and forces go by on the bridge]
the gypsy goes mental on the idea of catching a tank
so garry cooperrt sends him to keep track of the guards on the bridge and gives him a watch
also 1 guy talks about rumors he heard but I wasn't realllly paying attention
later they go on a journey to some place and the butch wo man talks with the garry cooper about his secks life
garry talks to this guy with whiskey about the bridge plans and wanting more horses
the whiskey guy don't want the bridge done in daytine as it mght make the army come afterem
later this teen jo a qwin who helped save the maria is sad cujz hs sister got wacked
the butch woman taunts him then later whines about being a HAG
she also mentions b0ning a lot of guys in the past
many were bull fighters
she leaves and the maria and the gary cooper talk
she revealed her rents got wacked for supporting the republic
she is gonna tell what else happened but garry stops her
I assume she was b0ned
they kiss even though she has no experiance
it fades out so I think they b0ned
when they return its revealed garry cooper "fell in the brook"
later its getting dark and they examine their info
but then it starts snowing in may
so much for global warming!!
the strong guy is drunk and asks maria to "fix his shoes"
I assume it means something about b0ning in the real version
or maybe its 30s slang
garry says hes fighting the italianos and Germanys as they hate freedom as much as they hate the russians
but the russuans were worse
he reveals his dads republican and the Spaniards ask if they shoot him for it
if only they knew of todays world
they also hate on the idea of a foreigner teaching spanish
if only they knew what todays america was
also they wonder if americans speak spanish
if only they knew of the future of america
one guy keeps trying to get in a fight with the strong guy but he don't give in
the guy slugs him in the face to the point of blood
what a butt hole
hope the strong guy b0nes him dead
the strong guy is then kicked out for some reason
the other guys wanna kill the strong guy
so much for them being the good guys
even his woman wants him dead
the gypsy wants to sell him to the enemy(maybe for b0ning)
gary don't wanna kill him in cold blood to which some guy sez; u englishes r all kold
dats racist
his wo man reveals the strong guy was a good warrior who outsmarted and killed many people
he even joked about his kills
he even got the malcontents to kill people he captured
this is what the protagonists are doing?
maybe the nationists aren't as bad as we're lead to believe
at least compared to these maniacs
then the strong guy returns and sez he cant leave his wo man or people
also he regrets his murders
one guy sez theyre nuts to trust him and I think leaves
the next day a hore rider comes by a nearly caps cooper but cooper shoots 1st (LIKE HAN SOLO DID!!)
cooper has the strong guy take away the horse(HORSE FETISH) and other guys clean up the kill
maybe they could eat the body
like in suddenly last summer
later more horsemen come
they almost see the gypsy but he evades em and brings in rabbits
then more horsemen come but run from hearing gunfire
they are attacking some small group in the mountains
but im not sure who it is
I think its the whiskey guy's group
the strong guy wats to help em but cooper sez its no use
the horsemen say theyre sending planes and offer a chance to surrender
the whiskey guy fires 5 shots in the ground and plays dead
1 horseman wants to go up thinking they are dead but his men know better
he goes up mocking the guys but the whiskey guy shreds him with gunfire
then the planes come and blow em apart
meanwhile the strong guy sets up the dymatne but the others return
he sez on his way back he saw the whiskey guy's gang busted afterward
then its revealed the enemy is gonna counter the republic's offensive
the strong guy leaves and the guys regret not murdering him when they had the chance
later some guy dlivers a message to the general
gary busey I mean cooper tells the maria he wont be with her after the mission
the maria gets mushy and sez they all are gonna bite it tomorrow
she tells gary how they took her to a barber shop and cut her hair
then fed her the hair
also they b0ned her
shes worried gery copr wont love her but he does
at the general area this soldier orders a superior officerat gunpoint to get the orders to along sincethe officer don't believe him
he also tells the officer he wants him and all his kind wiped out
such a role model
good thing he's the good guy
also the maria asks the garry cooplreer to cap her if shes caught
they talk mushy and spoon bur I think theyre b0ning in the real version
I know its trying to be romantic but this film just goes on forever
also the love isn't as good as the destined lovers in the 1918 film "the blue bird"
that made me cry
it was beautiful
this is just anti subtle and is drawn out
like dbz w/o the good music or cool fights or action or space warriors fighting gods
then the butch wioman comes in saying the trigger to the dyneimte was hidden in the fire and is burned up
garry cooper thinks he can fix it with grendaides
then the strong guy comes back with reinforcements and sez he changed his mind again
this is like in sonic 06 where the princess keeps getting captured
then the butch woman says she only saw happiness in his hand for him and his wo man
I just realized the plan to take out a bridge is ripped off of the buster Keaton fil "the general"
at around dawn they set out to take out the bridge
but somethings wrong with the attack from the republic
then the strong guy the maria and the forces start picking off guys in the bridge level
garry cooper sets up the bridge and the republic forces are getting picked off one by one
the maria goes mental with worry for the caggy cooper
then tanks come and the gypsy cant resist his tank fetish and busts a tank
then gets shredded by tank gunfire
like in advance wars
garry cooper gets off bridge just as it blowes and the tanks are on it
but the moustache guy bites it
the guys get away and the strong guy shreds his own guys so he can steal their horses
as they leave a tank and men open fire on em
looks like garry cooper might bite it
goes he die in his movies?
I know lon chaney does
a lot
oop, he got hit
hes just broke a bone
he decides to sacrifice himself to hold off the tank and men
he gives the maria a sappy good bye and sez he's going with her
I assume shes pregnant with his kid
had the strong guy not shredded his men they would have 3 other targets to draw fire
and they lost 3 guys in the attack so the extra horses would add up
garry cooper tries not to black out and opens fire on the men riding toward him
the end
for "for whom the bell tolls" 2 I'd like for qary cooper to have been revealed to have survived and was captured and rebuild with steampunk tech. seeing how the side he thought was so evil had saved him he reconsiders his life and gives the nationalists all his info on the republic. this leads to the nationalists winning the war and driving out the republic. gary cooper then goes on a journey to find his woman and their now teenage son(as the war took like 15 years to win) as he goes through the new world of the 50s(which is shown to be a metropolis sci I land like the fritz lang movie) and spain only got a fraction of the new tech available as they were shunned by the allies for not helping them in the war. also many survivors in the war are cyborgs and have super abilities and his woman and son have disagreements over him realizing the side he turned on is bad and she's still brainwashed by their propaganda.