Friday, February 5, 2016

A Midsummer Night's Dream Review

Note; im using a plug in keyboard so theres gonna be typoes
a midsummer nights dream
this is my review on a midsummer nights dream (30s version)
its got james cagny in it
hes cool
I loved him in the pro america film yankee doodle dandy
this film is based on shakespere so I assume theres gonna be sodomy refs
I saw shakespere in love and kept making sodomy jokes
its like watching that britany spears crossroads m,ovie and making h00ker jokes
I also saw much ado about nothing
everyone was really prissy
everyone says ashakespere was the4 best writer but I think mush of his stuff wasn't that great
at least go nagai is entertaining
even if hes a purvo who keeps drawing nude scenes
it starts with several minutes of calm fancy music
in modern films they show like 7 minutes of logo's and credits instead
I prefer the overture
more soothing
mickey roony is in hree
io loved him in those Claymation Christmas things
and olivis de haviland
she was wonderful in gone with the wind
so we get a wall of text like spider man venom, separation amnxiety
it says something about some guy doing something with some amazon nation
after some singing
im having trouble following this movie cuz this dink keeps spamming me for advice with his cr-ppy pokemon
vespiquen is cr-p and he wants to make it work physically
so from whaty I can gether from switching between typing this dink about his cr-ppy pokemon and listening to this queer 1600s talk some couple is getting married
by 20 mins in im finally able to pay attention
later these actors are talking about parts in a play theyre gonna do
this goes on for a while
later in a forest this kid is born out of a pile of leaves or w/e and starts beating a tree with his fists
then a unicorn appears
then some ghosty people run around the forest and up a tree an into the clouds
its sorta like fantasia
then this chick called the queen of faeries comes in singing in rhymer and talks to the kid
the kid talks in rhyme too
they mention the faerie king oberon(who is also a yugioh card nowadays)
and say something about something stolen from an indian king
some indian kid goes around the forest and does stuff with midgets
they jump and glide through the air like inuyasha or me in my dreams
then they put the indian kid on a horse I mean unicorn and more people dance around
the next few mins are just faeries prancingaround in the woods
this would make a good silent film
also the midgets look like goblins or trolls or some other d&d monster
then oberon comes in and seems strict and firm
hes p-ssed at titania the faeire queen and wants the indian boy to eat or w./e
the queen seems cheerful and a bit light
he wants the plant boy (puck like the faerie in berserk) to get him a flower for a love potion
then a hetero couple comes in the woods to make out and maybe b0ne
instead of b0ning they sing
but I think that's 30s censorshuip for b0ning
he talks about the trees being wood and tells the chick hes not into her
I think when they b0ned they did it wrong and he turned queer
he runs away but she follolws him
oberon is up to something but im not sure cuz he talks in that Castlevania talk
what is a man? a miserable little pile of secrets! but enough talk, have at you!
then the actors come in and talk but im not sure about what
then oberon wants to poison his wife with a love potion
and he weants to get this guy in love with some other chick
I think its cuz the queen wanted to do something after this wedding but he wants to break it up
this is like bad tommy wiseau
b4 the queen goes to sleep she sings for a bit
after shes asleep oberon squits the love juice into her closed eyes
then this couple(not sure if its the same couple as b4) are in the woods and lay down to sleep
don't sleep on the ground in the wioods
bug's will go in you
puck comes by and squits lo9ve juice in her eyes
oberon comes in and tells puck he screwed up
its the wrong couple
then this blonde (who was from the couple who I think b0ned) comes in and runs from a baby bear
she wakes up this guy from the 2nd couple and he falls in love with her
she doesn't want him and runs off
he tells his sleeping woman hes done with her and runs after the blonde
later she wanes up and was having a dream, of a snake in her bra
she looks for him and calls for him but puck taunts her
they run around for a while with puck taunting "these mortals"
then the actors come in some spot in the woods to practice and puck and the midgets watch
they act out some scene for several minutes
then puck sprays them with drugs or something
and 1 guy turns into a furry
he returns and does his part w/o noticing his mutation
everyone bolts
puck turns into various things and torments the humans
this is turning into Urotsukidoji
maybe inuyasha
the furry then starts singing until he realizes hes transformed
he gets bummed out by being a furry and puck laughs at his pain
puck is a candy a55 p o s jaw broni
then thwe queen wakes up and finds the furry and falls in love with him
he doesn't think she should love him
he doesn't know about the furry community
like in shallow hal how no one ever suspects jack black might just be into fat chicks
the furry wants to leave but the queen wants him to stay and summons 4 midgets to help him
one is called "mustard seed"
its like with dbz and the garlic jr arc
hope these midgets can transform when their home planet gets near
then they can lay the smackdown on pucks candy a55
then the queen gets a veil made of cobwebs or w/e
jeez, we got another hour and a half to go through of this cr-p
then theres a weird forest wedding with the faerie queen and furry
and oberon gets the indian kid
oh h-ll
10 minute intermiossion
it was only an instant
then the guy from the 2nd couple is after the girl and givs up after she tells him off and he goes 2 sleep
and oberon sends puck on another mission
he then casts a spell on the sleeping 2nd couple guy
then the blonde comes by and the sleeping guy wakes up ad is in love with her
im having trouble keeping track of who's who
after some love triangle issues with the 2 guys and the blonde, the other chick comes by
they argue for a while and I whiz but don't think I missed anything
then the guys fight and the girls fight
oberon tells puck some queer Castlevania chatter that I cant really understand
puck eggs on one of the guys to fight and then does the same to the other guy
he also mimics their voices
and does the same with the chix
I think hes controlling them too
puck and 1 guy go to sleep
maybe these guys should fight some forest beasts and level up so they can fight these forerst daemons
maybe get some magic items
puck then gets 2 others to sleep
then 1 chick is bummed and worn out
she goes to sleep too
puck then puts the cure to the love juice in their eyes
meanwhile the furry is with the queen(I think they just b0ned) and is being cared for by the 4 midgets
he wants to eat food his furry animal would eat
then he goes to sleep and the queen sings again
this is like that movie skinner showed the class about the Christmas hobgoblins in the ep they were snowed in the school
then oberon wants to undo the love spell on the queen
and all these daemons come in and have a fantasia like thing
theres this weiord long scene of these hairless daemons holding the faeries with calm music
this is like Devilman but with less hermaphrodites and dinosaurs
oberon goes through the woods bringing the faeries and daemons and midgets with him
also his enormous cape is flowing like the ocean surface
I think the daemons are b0ning the faeries
its done in dance but seems like b0ning
they disappear into the darkness of the night sky and oberon undoes the love thing on the queen
she wakes up and thinks her b0ning the furry was a dream
then finds its real
shes quite disturbed by it
then its the AM and oberon wants to make everyone think it was all a dream
oberon and the queen fly off like in dbz and puck detransforms the furry
he wakes up remembering the events as a dream
he laughs off the "dream" burt laughs like an animal and has (Vietnam) flashbacks and freaks out
he checks his reflection and laughs human style in relief
he wants to have his homies write of the dream
then the couples wake up and laugh
they then go to this wedding and its like a renaissance fair
the actors write the script but the ex furry is disturbed by a donkey braying
then the king of the town gives some weird `1600s talk speech
then the actors come in and badly perform

in the play this soldier talks to a wall(who's played by an actor)
also the womens roles are played by men
like monty python
the wall holds out his fingers as a way to show a hole in the wall and the actors kiss the fingers as a way of showing them kissing through it
then 1 guy plays the moon by wearing a head thing and holding a lanturn
then a guy dressed as a lion growls
then some guy dressed as a roman badly momologues
this is worse than the room with tommy wiseau
the roman dies and the cross dresser comes in and monologues then suicides
the film ends with oberon and the queen singing and dancing with all these faeries at the place the play happened
then the king has everyone go to bed cuz its midnight and that means its faerie time
puck says his torments of the humans wasn't that bad cuz he fixed it in the ned and says goodbye
for a midsummer nights dream 2 I'd like the guy turned into a donkey to have flashbacks to his furry time and find out hes pregnant with the queens child as with faeries they get the guy pregnant with pregnancy beams. he gives birth to a half faerie/half furry abomination and trains it to be an epic warrior to get revenge on the forest things for causing him such trauma. also he drinks the things blood and gains back his furry powers and can transform at will as well as have flight and gains faerie powers to fight the faeries on their level. then he leads a party of warriors into the woods to bring down the faeries.

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